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Eddie
It was happening, really happening, after all this time; Eddie was going through with it, nothing holding him back anymore.
“So, Friday night then, just uh, just me and you?”
It wasn’t going exactly how Eddie had rehearsed in his mind all the thousands of times, but he’d gotten the words out, which was further than he’d ever gotten in asking Buck out before. They’d been building up to something more for so long now, Eddie finally feeling brave enough to take his best friend on a date, both of them being single.
Buck looked back to him, hands still shuffling through their shared locker.
“Uh yea, sounds good. Want me to meet you there?”
Eddie furrowed his brows; Buck sure was slow on the uptake sometimes.
“No? I’ll pick you up. Be ready by seven?”
Buck nodded as he put on one of their deodorants—their locker was really just a mix of all their things at this point—smiling to Eddie just as the alarm rang out. Eddie sighed, wanting to ask Buck a little more specifically about their date, but decided it would all work out; Buck had agreed, and that was the biggest hurdle—at least, that’s what Eddie had thought.
~
When Friday night came, Eddie smoothed out his black button up, the one he reserved for only the specialist of occasions, slicking his hair back in the mirror one last time. Chris was with Abuela for the night, so he didn’t have to explain his ‘fancy date shirt’ to his nosey, yet endearing son.
He hopped in his truck, driving to Buck’s on autopilot. Eddie’s hands clenched and unclenched over the steering wheel as his nerves took over. This was just Buck; they’d gone out together too many times to count. Though deep-down Eddie knew this was different; it meant something, or rather everything.
Eddie was vibrating with energy as he made his way up to Buck’s, knocking lightly on the door once he arrived. Buck answered after a beat, his face scrunching up when he saw it was Eddie; ok, that wasn’t exactly the greeting he’d been hoping for.
“Uh why didn’t you use your key?”
Eddie shrugged. “I wanted to do things the proper way.”
He looked his best friend over, frowning when he saw Buck was wearing his faded blue hoodie, the one that was so soft and brought out his eyes—not that Eddie noticed—and a pair of worn jeans.
“Are you um—ready?”
Buck gave him a quizzical look, patting himself as if he’d forgotten to put on pants or something.
“Uh yea, I’m good to go.”
Eddie nodded once, leading the way out of Buck’s loft and down to his truck. He knew they went out all the time, but he thought Buck would’ve at least tried, being this was their first date and all.
Their usual banter ensued as they made their way to the restaurant, Eddie refraining from reaching over to take Buck’s hand in his; he didn’t want to scare him off before they’d even gotten to dinner.
Eddie had reserved a table for them outside, one that put them just back from everyone else, twinkling lights hung up all around. It was their favorite pizza place, one they often took Chris to. They took a seat across from each other, Eddie adoring the way Buck’s blues lit up under the night sky.
“So, what should we get?”
Buck scanned over the menu for a minute, looking up to Eddie with a soft smile.
“The usual?”
Eddie smiled right back, nodding in agreement, placing their order once the waiter came back.
They fell into comfortable silence, Eddie’s nerves eating him alive on the inside.
It’s just Buck, you can do this Edmundo.
“So, what do you think so far?”
Buck gave him another odd look, shrugging his shoulders.
“Uh, it’s-it’s nice out here. I don’t think we’ve ever sat outside.”
“Yea it is. I thought it would be a nice change, especially for tonight.”
“I wish Chris were here with us.”
Look, Eddie loved his son more than anything in this world, but it wasn’t often he and Buck got time to themselves, especially when going out.
“We’ll have to bring him here when we’re not on a da—”
The waiter chose that moment to come back then, placing their meat lover’s pizza, with extra bacon, on the table between them. They thanked the waiter, Eddie moving to plate Bucks’ pizza before the man could do it himself. Buck smiled in thanks, mumbling around his bite of pizza.
“Did you know that pepperoni is the most popular pizza topping? Thirty-six percent of people order it on their pizza.”
Eddie smiled fondly over to him; this, this was the Buck he knew and loved.
The rest of their meal carried on, Eddie listening as Buck threw out all of his random pizza facts, his face lighting up with each one.
When they were finished, the table mostly cleared, Eddie watched as Buck’s hand slid across the table, resting in the middle. Eddie smiled shyly, daring himself to make the next move.
He began sliding his hand across the table, his fingertips just brushing over Bucks before someone walking by ran into their table, knocking over the glass of water. Their hands were both quickly pulled back, the two of them leaping out of their seats before they got submerged in the liquid.
They laughed about it as they made their way out of the restaurant, Eddie cursing all the obstacles that kept getting in their way tonight; maybe he needed to tone it down, take things a little slower. It was only their first date, the first of many Eddie hoped.
~
Buck
Buck needed to get his shit together, and fast.
Ever since Eddie had broken up with Ana, he’d been a little clingy to say the least, always inviting Buck out or over for dinner. It wasn’t anything new, not really; well, there was the fact that Buck had recently realized just how in love with his best friend he was.
Sure, they’d had a rocky start, but they’d been best friends ever since, having each other’s backs just like they’d said. Buck had always known he was into men, had even dated his fair share of them over the years, never hiding his preferences around others. Eddie on the other hand was straight as they came; no matter how charming Buck was, Eddie would never love him, not in that way at least.
Buck had come to terms with it, knowing that it would always be a one-way street when it came to his feelings for Eddie, but the guy was making it awfully difficult for Buck to stifle his feelings.
He knew Eddie had had a challenging time after losing his wife and Christopher’s mother, Ana seeming to come around at just the right time; thankfully Eddie had realized she wasn’t right for him, Buck none the happier. Buck would be happy as long as he knew Eddie was, and Ana wasn’t that, not for Eddie.
It had been a few weeks now of the odd dinner asks, Buck going along with them willingly; how could he deny the man he loved?
On this night in particular, Buck all but dragged Chris along with them, not able to bear another non-date with Eddie, especially one in the public.
They were at the bowling alley, something Buck hadn’t done in years. It was perfect because they’d taken Chris here many times, the boy loving the way the balls rolled down the floor, crashing into the pins.
Buck had thrown on one of his long-sleeved LAFD shirts, along with a pair of his jogger pants. Eddie seemed highly concerned about Bucks’ appearance as of late, always questioning if he was ready or not; what was wrong with wanting to be comfortable when hanging out with your best friend? Eddie on the other hand had been wearing all his best looks, only saddening Buck more; the man was clearly trying to impress anyone they might meet while out on these ‘non-dates.’
As they sat next to each other, Chris just off to the side, Buck began to mess with the buttons on the screen. Eddie reached over at one point to help when Buck couldn’t locate the ‘score’ button, their fingertips barley grazing. Buck immediately pulled his hand back, looking away from Eddie. After their first outing, when Buck had unconsciously slid his hand across the table, he’d made sure to keep his hands to himself, grateful the waiter had interrupted them that first night; that would’ve been awkward.
When Eddie took his turn to bowl next, Buck watched his stance, noting the way his tight jeans perfectly molded his ass; God he was beautiful.
Shaking out his thoughts, Buck turned his attention to the rest of the bowlers, his brows pulling together when he noticed a certain pattern. It suddenly occurred to him that there were no other kids around, each lane littered with only two people.
“Uh, Eds?”
Eddie half turned back to him as he bent into his bowling stance once again.
“What’s up?”
“Um I think that uh…. I think we came here on the wrong night…”
Eddie fully turned to meet him then, furrowing his brows together.
“What makes you say that?”
Buck twiddled his thumbs together, unable to meet Eddie’s piercing gaze. He lowered his voice to a whisper as Eddie came closer, looking around to all the others.
“I think that uh, I think we came on couples’ night.”
Eddie laughed, like a fully on belly-laugh, winking to Buck before turning on his heel, sending the ball down the lane, making a perfect strike; Buck had no idea what to make of any of that. He high fived Chris on the way back, coming to drop down next to Buck after.
“You’re such a dork sometimes.”
Buck laughed nervously, unsure of how to answer; why the fuck had Eddie brought him and Chris here on a couple’s night? It didn’t make sense to him, though he figured Eddie must’ve gotten a good discount or something.
An older couple walked by them then, smiling over to them fondly.
“You two have an adorable family.”
All of the oxygen went out of Buck’s lungs in that moment, his mind going back to a previous time, to a moment he’d long forgotten.
Eddie only smiled, looking fondly over to Buck and Chris as he thanked them wholly; yea, his best friend was definitely acting odd lately.
~
The next time Eddie asked Buck to hang out, he didn’t get off so easily, Eddie stating Chris couldn’t come because they were doing some early Christmas shopping for him.
It was something they’d done too many times to count, though everything felt different now; nothing was the same after Buck had fallen for his best friend.
And so, they walked down the streets of LA in the thick of fall, the day cooler than most. Buck had opted to wear sweats with a pair of his work boots, only having a Henley on above; it usually didn’t get cold enough for him to need a jacket too.
They walked side by side, their shoulders brushing together every now and again. Eddie had been smart and worn his jacket, Buck refraining from asking to borrow it; he wouldn’t be able to handle Eddie’s scent, the coat entrapping him like a warm hug from his best friend.
He couldn’t help the shivers that escaped him as they continued down the street, the wind whipping through the air. Buck brought his hands up, rubbing them together, blowing on them as he went. Before he knew what was happening, Eddie was taking his hands in his, instant warmth surrounding him.
Buck let his hands be warmed for a few seconds before pulling back, though Eddie only let one of his hands fall, linking them together with his own. He was all but stuck in place until Eddie tugged him along, never letting go of his hand. Yep, this was totally normal, just two bros holding hands. Bucks’ insides were burning, Eddie’s touch destined to set him on fire.
If Buck didn’t get it together soon, he was going to fall even more hopelessly in love with his best friend, something he could never have; he needed to take a step back, before he really got hurt.
Eddie
Dating Buck was going—slowly.
Look, Eddie didn’t expect them to just dive into bed together the first night, ok maybe just a little, but it had been over a month now and all Eddie had managed to do was hold Buck’s hand, Buck seeming odd about the entire exchange.
He knew that Buck had changed his ways after all of his disastrous relationships, not using casual sex as a way to get close to someone these days, but it was almost as if the man had gone celibate; Eddie wasn’t even sure if hand holding marked any of the bases.
If that wasn’t bad enough, Buck had canceled on their last several dates, inciting he’d taken on extra shifts, or promised Maddie he’d babysit; they were all valid reasons, though Eddie couldn’t help but to feel like he’d done something wrong.
Had he pushed too fast? Made Buck feel uncomfortable? Done something wrong?
Maybe Buck didn’t really feel the same way as Eddie did, but was too polite to tell him; Eddie knew neither of them wanted to ruin their friendship, especially with Chris in the mix; he was so important to the both of them, one of the many reasons that Eddie loved Buck so much.
It had been a couple weeks since they’d hung out, Eddie missing his best friend something awful; their time together at work was never enough.
He decided to take the easy way out, using his son to entice Buck over; the man could never say no to Chris. In fact, Buck had tried to invite Chris on most of their dates, something Eddie found both endearing, yet annoying. Sometimes it was nice just being the two of them, no one around to interrupt.
Even so, he shot Buck a text, stating that Chris was asking if his Bucky could come over for pizza and a movie night. It was a little disheartening how quickly Buck agreed, though Eddie had to take it in stride; at least Buck would always be there for his son.
~
Buck was at his door about twenty minutes later, letting himself in with his key, wearing an array of casual clothes once more; if Eddie didn’t know any better, he’d think the man had thrown out any sort of formal wear.
“Hey Eds.”
Eddie smiled to him warmly, standing to pull him in for a tight hug. Buck didn’t resist, though he immediately pulled away once Chris entered the room; at least Eddie got to hold him for a moment.
The night carried on typically, Chris squished between them, a half-eaten box of pizza on the table in front of them, the newest Marvel movie playing out on the tv. Eddie kept stealing glances over to Buck, though Buck seemed intent on keeping his eyes toward the screen; nothing on the tv ever held that man’s attention this long except for maybe a documentary.
Once Chris fell asleep, Eddie was quick to jump up and take his son to bed, needing to put some space between him and Buck; he had no idea what he was doing wrong.
When he came back into the living room, he expected Buck to be sprawled across the length of his couch, settling in for the night. Instead, Buck was in the entryway, putting his shoes on as he geared to go.
Eddie took in a deep breath, willing his feet to move him forward until he reached Buck.
“Did-did I do something wrong?”
Buck turned back to him with a frown.
“Uh what?”
Eddie sighed as he scrubbed a hand through his hair, feeling completely dejected.
“If-if this isn’t working out-or, or what you wanted, then just tell me Buck, please.”
Buck gave him an incredulous look, his brows furrowing in that oddly adorable way.
“Uh, everything’s fine Eds; I always love spending time with you guys. I just um, I have a shift early in the morning.”
It wasn’t the answer Eddie was looking for, though it appeared to be the only one he was getting tonight.
Buck tugged his sweatshirt on, pausing for a moment before he turned back to Eddie, wrapping him up in a full hug; it was like Eddie could breathe again for the first time in weeks.
The hug didn’t last nearly as long as Eddie would’ve hoped, nor did it end in a heated kiss, followed by Buck staying the night. No. It was just a hug, Buck letting himself out after.
Eddie stood there alone, unsure of what was happening; he wanted Buck, yes, but not in this way. If Buck wasn’t ready, then he could accept that. But whatever this was at the moment was too painful for Eddie; he couldn’t stand for the relationship to be one sided, Eddie left feeling emptier than when he didn’t have Buck at all.
~
They didn’t see each other for the next couple days, the two of them reuniting at work.
Everything seemed business as usual, the two of them falling into step easily; they really did make the best partners.
Buck seemed to be in an extra cheery mood that morning, Eddie unable to match his best friend; maybe he’d just been overthinking everything.
Eddie was just coming up the stairs when he caught the end of Bucks’ sentence, something in answer to a question Chimney had asked.
“…a date this weekend.”
Hen sat up at that, face brightening.
“Well do tell Buckaroo.”
Eddie couldn’t help the giddy feeling in his chest as he made his way over to the couch, stealing the seat next to his best friend; he really had been overthinking everything.
He knocked his knee together with Bucks’ as he sat, giving him a knowing look. Buck simply continued on, his face unreadable; god he was adorable when he was nervous.
“Well, I um, I finally did something the proper way and decided to ask someone out.”
Eddie almost couldn’t contain himself, refraining from reaching out to entangle his hand with Bucks’; if Buck wanted to spill the beans, then Eddie was 100% in support.
Chim raised his brows in interest.
“Who’s the lucky lady?”
Eddie didn’t care what Chimney assumed, knowing Buck would set him straight.
Buck gave a shy laugh, twiddling his fingers together idly.
“I uh, I finally took the leap and asked Taylor on a real date, you know, one that doesn’t involve—well one that involves dinner before anything else.”
Chimney groaned. “Alright kid, we don’t need all the details.”
Hen had an odd look over her face, clearly perplexed.
Eddie was absolutely fuming, not a single coherent thought running through his mind as he stood from the couch gruffly, his boots thudding on the ground.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?!”
Buck gave him an incredulous look, staying sat as he was.
“Um—Eds, are you-are you ok?”
Eddie shook his head; this was absolutely un-fucking-believable.
“How the hell are you just going to date someone else when you’re already in a damn relationship?”
Buck’s brows pulled together, the man looking completely oblivious.
“Um…I am?”
Eddie all but lost it then, throwing his hands up in the air.
“I guess all those dates we’ve been on the last few months meant absolutely nothing to you, huh?” Eddie shook his head, completely exasperated. “Buck if you didn’t want to date me you should’ve just fucking said so instead of stringing me along, making me look like a complete dumbass in front of everyone else, basically announcing that you’re about to cheat on me. No wonder why you never dressed to impress.”
With that, Eddie stormed off down the stairs, keeping to himself until the end of shift, which thankfully wasn’t long.
It was one thing for Buck to play down their dates, but then to ask someone else out, especially her—Eddie couldn’t even think straight.
Eddie knew things had been rocky between them as of late, but he never thought Buck would just toss him aside so easily, not even bothering to break up with him before moving on to someone else.
This is what Eddie had always feared, had tried to avoid for all these years. But he let himself fall in love, let himself think he could actually have Buck, in all the ways he’d ever dreamed of. Buck wasn’t his; not to keep anyway.
~
Buck
Buck would be the first to admit he wasn’t always the fastest on the uptake; he could be a little oblivious at times if you will.
Some situations confused him something awful, like the time the 118 got accused of robbing the bank when they were stuck inside trying to help the patients; he still wasn’t quite sure what happened that day.
Buck was good with simple and organized tasks, something he could have a list for; routine was made for him. He didn’t do well with change, especially when he was unaware of it altogether—you know, like the fact that apparently him and Eddie having been dating for the last few months.
After Eddie stormed off, Buck sat there completely stunned, his feet all but glued to the floor in front of him. What the fuck just happened?
Chimney clapped him on the shoulder, bringing him back to the present.
“Tough break kid.”
Buck shrugged, having not a fucking clue how to answer.
“I don’t…I really have no idea what the hell just happened.”
Hen looked to him sincerely, reaching out to squeeze his forearm.
“Buck, I knew you and Eddie were dating, so I’m not sure how you missed the memo.”
Ok, now he was really confused; just…completely lost.
Chimney held up his hands. “Wait. You knew they were dating and let me go on wondering? What about the be—”
Hen swiftly cut him off, signaling this wasn’t the time; Buck was too far gone to notice.
When the clock signaled it was the end of their shift, Chimney left them be, Hen standing to press a hand to his shoulder.
“You need to talk to him Buck. I don’t know what happened, but you two will work this out. You just have to tell him how you feel.”
She said it as if it were so easy; Buck didn’t even know there was a them until five minutes ago and he’d already ruined everything.
He drove home on autopilot, wandering around his loft aimlessly once inside. How had he not realized they’d been dating all this time? Sure, Eddie had been asking them to hang out more, but when had they gone from casual hangouts to dates? Eddie hadn’t even kissed him for fucks sake.
Though there was that one time Eddie held his hand….
Buck shook his head out, heading for the shower as he turned the heat all the way up; maybe he could burn out his stupidity.
The only way they were going to figure things out was if they talked, something they’d clearly been lacking lately.
He grabbed his keys off the counter several times, intending on going to Eddie’s, but he just couldn’t do it; he wasn’t ready to lose Eddie for good.
What if Eddie didn’t want him anymore? What if he’d fucked things up for good? What if he wasn’t enough?
Buck let himself fall to the floor in front of his couch, burying his head between his hands. How had he lost something he never even knew he had?
~
The next few days were torture, Buck grateful when he and Eddie were paired with the others, something they generally dreaded.
He hated that they weren’t talking, hated that he’d messed everything up.
Hen sympathized with him while Chimney felt just as much a victim; apparently, he wouldn’t be getting his winnings, whatever that meant. The others kept to themselves about the whole ordeal, Bobby never wanting to interfere, knowing they would figure it out for themselves—eventually.
It had been three days, three whole days since he’d talked to his best friend; it was worse than any pain he’d ever felt.
It was after that third day that Buck found himself in front of his best friend’s house, willing himself to get out of his jeep and walk up the path.
Buck hesitated when he reached the door, not feeling comfortable enough to use his key, knocking instead.
A curly mop of hair answered the door, Chris beaming up to him. Buck’s heart all but broke in that second; he couldn’t lose Chris too.
“Buck!”
“Hey buddy.”
The little boy crutched away from the door to let Buck in, though Buck brought his steps to a halt once he spotted Eddie. They shared a brief look before silently communicating that they wouldn’t be hashing anything out in front of Chris; if only they could actually communicate now.
Eddie seemed to study him for a minute, his tone short.
“Dinner’s ready. Let’s eat.”
Buck only gave a nod of his head, not trusting his own voice; not after the other day.
They sat in uncomfortable silence, though Chris didn’t seem to notice, chatting on about his day and his newest school project, the two of them chiming in from time to time.
After dinner, Chris asked Buck to help him with his new Lego set, Eddie remaining in the kitchen to tidy up, though Buck thought it was mostly just to avoid him.
While they put the pieces together, Buck couldn’t help but to question Chris.
“Hey buddy?”
“Yea Bucky?”
Buck took in a sharp breath, hoping the running water would keep Eddie from overhearing their conversation.
“Do you—what would you think if um-if me and your dad were to—date?”
Chris continued playing with his Legos, seeming unfazed by the question.
“Dad and I already talked about that.”
“You uh-you did?”
Chris nodded, handing off another piece to Buck.
“Yep. I know you guys have been dating for a few months.”
Great. Even the kid knew they’d been dating; Buck really was a dumbass.
Eddie chose then to enter the room, telling Chris that it was time for bed. Buck said his goodnights, wrapping Chris in an extra hug tight, lest this be the last time he ever got the chance to.
With Chris in bed, Buck thought they would finally be able to talk, though it seemed Eddie had other ideas.
“It’s late Buck and I’ve had a long day. Let’s just agree that this was a mistake and just move on.”
Mistake? Move on?
“Eds I—can’t we talk about this? Please.”
He knew he sounded desperate, but he didn’t care; all he wanted was Eddie back, in whatever form the man would give to him.
“I don’t know what you want me to say Buck. You obviously don’t feel the same way. I just wish you would’ve told me sooner.”
“Eddie, I-I had no idea we were dating. I-I didn’t even know you liked me in that way.”
Eddie gave him an incredulous look, one that told Buck he was slowly losing his patience.
“What do you think we’ve been doing the last few months? All the special things I planned for us, the couples bowling night, dressing up for you. You let me hold your hand for fucks sake!”
“I thought you were doing it to be nice because my hands were cold!”
Eddie shook his hands out in frustration.
“I did it because we’d been together for two months and you hadn’t so much as hugged me goodbye!”
“I-I didn’t think you’d ever feel that way about m; I didn’t even know you were into guys! So-so I tried to take a step back. I couldn’t be around you when I knew you didn’t feel the same way.”
If Buck really thought about it, things were starting to make sense; he just hadn’t allowed himself to think them true. It was easier to protect his heart that way.
“I’m sorry Eds, really—I just, I fucked everything up like I always do, and I know you probably hate me for almost cheating on you, even though I didn’t know we were dating, but apparently Chris did, and—”
“Evan.”
Buck looked up as Eddie cut him off, giving the man his full attention; he’d never heard his given name spoken so endearingly.
“I could never hate you, no matter how much of an oblivious dumbass you are.”
Buck smiled bashfully, feeling completely exposed in the eyes of his best friend.
“I uh-I’m just sorry Eds, really.”
Eddie only nodded, silence falling between them once more. Most of the tension had faded, though there was still an awkwardness lingering between them.
When Buck thought he couldn’t take it anymore, Eddie finally spoke, his voice soft.
“I don’t—I’m not sure where I went wrong. I literally asked if you wanted to go on a date with me Buck…like those were my actual words. We share a locker for Christ’s sake!”
Ok yes, that was…true, but how was Buck supposed to know he meant it that way? Besides, didn’t everyone share a locker?
“I just-I just thought—I mean that’s just something people say sometimes.”
Eddie eyed him keenly.
“And if I kissed you right now, would you think that was just something I was doing for fun?”
Bucks throat dried, his heart all but beating out of his chest; he couldn’t find any coherent words to speak.
Eddie took a step towards him, closing the gap between them.
“Because I’m starting to think that if I’m not very specific about my intentions here, you might go and ask someone else out again.”
With everything that had happened between them, Buck had all but forgotten about Taylor, including their date; he’d gotten a few nasty messages about it.
Buck looked down to the floor, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck; he felt like an asshole.
“If I would’ve—I would never want anyone over you Eds. Not uh, not if you were mine, I mean.”
He felt Eddie’s hand under his chin then, slowly pushing up until their eyes met.
“Buck. Just how oblivious are you?”
Buck shrugged, smiling shyly down to Eddie.
“It uh, it varies.”
Eddie shook his head, chuckling softly.
“What am I supposed to do with you?”
“Love me anyway?”
Buck new they were joking, but their conversation held a weight to it all the same. They were teetering on the edge of something real here; he didn’t want to fuck it up, not again.
Eddie reached his hand up, brushing his thumb over Buck’s birthmark ever so gently, caressing him there after.
“I already do. I just—I don’t know if you feel the same way.”
Buck couldn’t help but to lean into Eddie’s touch, closing his eyes to savor the moment.
“Eds, you’re-you’re all I’ve wanted for so long…I just—didn’t think I could ever have you. Not-not like I wanted.”
Buck let out a weighted sigh, pulling out of Eddie’s grasp to help refocus his thoughts.
“If I think about it…everything we’ve been doing for the last few months definitely felt like something more—I just didn’t let myself believe it; I couldn’t. Getting closer to you and Chris only meant more fear of losing you guys, and I never want that. I thought if-I thought if I pulled back that it would make things easier, that it wouldn’t hurt as much. But all I ended up doing was hurting you instead.”
Eddie waited until he’d gained Bucks’ attention again, speaking to him earnestly.
“Buck, you’re never going to lose me, or Christopher, no matter what; we’re always going to be a family. Even if you don’t want me in the same way—I’ll always be there for you.”
Buck couldn’t help but to raise his brows toward the other man, voice teasing.
“Now who’s the oblivious one?”
Eddie raised his brows in challenge.
“Still you.”
They shared a laugh, the sound relaxing Buck for the first time that evening; he loved when they could just be themselves, no bullshit or misunderstandings between them.
“Eds, I know I’ve been a dumbass, but let me make myself perfectly clear—I want to be with you, and no one else.”
Eddie nodded his head, though he still looked unsure.
“Just to clarify, you want me as in like date me…like boyfriend date?”
Buck moved so he was just in front of Eddie, placing his hands on the mans’ hips as he pulled him in close, their faces just inches apart.
“No, I want to keep dating you, boyfriend.”
Eddie smiled in that fondly exasperating way, the one he seemed to reserve only for Buck. They leaned in close, their lips just brushing together as they did so. Their kiss started softly, Buck all but melting into Eddie as the man’s hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to deepen the kiss.
They moved slowly, taking their time to explore the other’s mouth, Eddie’s hands eventually snaking under his shirt, rubbing softly over his skin before they made their way into the back of his pants, cupping his ass firmly before picking him up and placing him onto the counter. Buck was not ashamed of the loud groan that came out of him, though Eddie was quickly carrying him to the bedroom to put some walls between them and Chris; it only made Bucks’ insides burn more.
Eddie set a fire in him, one that would burn out but never fade, Eddie igniting their spark with just one look.
They laid sprawled out on Eddie’s bed after, Buck tucked safely into Eddie’s arms, rested over his chest.
“I can’t believe you thought holding hands was a normal ‘bro thing.’
“And I can’t believe that you thought we were dating and didn’t even try to make a move!”
Eddie scoffed.
“I was trying to take things slow. I thought that-that you didn’t want to rush things after your past relationships.”
“You really think I could keep my hands to myself if I knew I had you? Maybe if you hadn’t of taken things so ‘slow’ I would’ve picked up on us dating sooner.”
Eddie was on him in seconds, pinning him in place as he brought Bucks hands above his head, pushing them down to the bed. He gave a gradual roll of his hips, using the hand that wasn’t keeping Buck in place to reach between them, finger sliding right in from their earlier activities, stroking Buck’s most sensitive spot just so.
His breath was warm in Bucks’ ear as he whispered softly, drawling out each word.
“I could take things really, really slow, just to make sure you didn’t miss anything.”
Buck inhaled deeply, his insides already burning, begging for more.
He would go whatever pace Eddie set; as long as he was with the man he loved, that was all he cared about.
Eddie only teased him for so long, neither of them able to keep to themselves.
It wasn’t until they finished, again, showered, and came back to bed to snuggle that they talked; there hadn’t been room for a lot of words between the sounds they pulled out of the other.
Buck brushed his fingers over Eddie’s stomach, tracing patterns there while Eddie rubbed over his back soothingly.
“Can we go on a date tomorrow, like a real one? I mean, one where we both know it’s a date?”
Eddie chuckled softly, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to Bucks curls.
“On one condition.”
“And uh, what would that be?”
“You’re not allowed to wear any of your hoodies or sweatpants, or anything that even remotely resembles them.”
Buck buried his head into the crook of Eddie’s shoulder, groaning to himself; how had he been that much of an idiot?
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I tried, but apparently you didn’t pick up on those hints either. Besides, you do look adorable in your hoodies.”
Buck couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across his face. He placed a kiss under Eddie’s eye, right over the beauty mark there; it really was unfair how beautiful this man was.
“Hey Eds?”
“Yea?”
“Thanks for uh, for not giving up on me.”
Eddie pulled him in close, brown holding blue as they pressed together.
“You might be an oblivious idiot, but you’re my oblivious idiot.”
Buck snorted.
“I’m not sure if I should be offended by that or not.”
Eddie kissed him sweetly, rubbing his thumb over his mark once more.
“I’m gonna keep you either way.”
That was fine by Buck, as he didn’t have any intentions of leaving anytime soon, or ever again really. He was right where he wanted to be, the place that made him feel like he was at home.
“I love you Eds.”
A sly smile spread across Eddie’s face, one that was almost smug.
“Like as a friend or—”
Buck cut him off with a searing kiss, sealing their lips together.
“Like I’m in love with you and can’t fucking wait to spend the rest of our lives together.”
“As in the boyfriend way or the husba—”
“You better not finish that sentence unless you have a ring, Edmundo Diaz.”
“Who said I didn’t, Evan Buckley?”
Buck was so done for this man.
“God I love you.”
Eddie tugged him impossibly closer, his words being the last Buck heard before he drifted off.
“In case it wasn’t obvious, I love you too.”