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Danse was still learning to cope with the upheaval of everything he used to live for. Sometimes when he looked at his hands, he felt as if he could see beneath his skin to see the circuitry that made up his body. He knew he bled like any other man, he knew that even if he was not an organic human, he was not anything like the gen ones with their expressionless faces and metal skeletons, but.. the fear remained. He worried that his actions were not his own, that what he felt for Nora was nothing but what he was programmed to feel.
He often wondered about his past and the lies that the institute ingrained within his psyche to assimilate him into the world. The harder he tried to focus on his memories, the blurrier they became. His earliest memories mostly were about his days as a scrapper, he remembered being a hungry kid with more than a few scrapes and bruises, he remembered worrying over where his next meal would come from. The memories weren’t happy ones but he was glad to have them. Those memories were his own, they weren’t fabricated and therefore he held them close to his heart. His best memories pertained to the Brotherhood of course, thinking about that day where he officially became an initiate still awoke such a fierce sense of pride that it made his entire body feel warm. He wondered if this undying sense of loyalty was something else to thank the Institute for. Try as he might, he couldn’t think poorly of the Brotherhood. They fed him, clothed him, gave him a sense of purpose..
Danse almost felt guilty for the fact that he’d turned heel and found a new cause to live for so quickly after his exile. Some part of him was smug to know that he was even capable of such a thing. Nora was his purpose, Nora was his cause. He wanted to serve her with as much pride and loyalty as he gave the Brotherhood, he didn’t care that his sense of loyalty might have been given to him by whatever uncaring scientist let him out into the world.
There was the hint of a memory somewhere buried within him that he often found himself thinking of. The memory was foggy but he often registered bits and pieces enough to make a picture in his mind. A red dress and a laughing voice.. a quiet feminine mumble and the brush of a soft hand combing through his hair. The sense of love, a wet thumb on his cheek as she wiped something away. His mother. Or at least.. the hazy, poorly thought out idea of one that the Institute bothered to put in his mind. He knew that he should have a mother, so therefore he had some concept of her.. but he knew that those memories weren’t his own, they never happened. He wasn’t even sure if he ever had been a child. Or if he was put out into the wasteland as a preteen.
Strangely, pondering over the idea that he never had a mother was disheartening. Thinking of his mother was.. difficult. In the memory, he felt content, he felt loved and safe.. He felt as if nothing could hurt him while her hand was holding his. He had a hazy memory of burying his face in her dress to hide from a gunshot in the distance, his mother took his hand in hers and her lips brushed against his knuckles to reassure him that all was well- but the more he thought of her, the less of a picture he had. He felt so loved in his memory, the mental imprint of his mother cruelly dissipated to nothing but jumbled sensations the more he thought of her. He was reminded all over again of who- what he was.
Even in that hazy memory, he still felt fiercely loyal toward the ghost of a person who did not exist. He felt as if it was wrong that thinking of her left him feeling so inhuman. He loved his mother.. He loved the idea of having a mother. The understanding that she never existed pained his heart.
Danse often found himself jumbled up as he sorted through all of the things that were his own making and the thoughts and memories that were part of his programming. He could feel himself spiraling into a dark place and he decided he should find Nora. She told him that she expected him to come to her when he got lost in his thoughts and so his ingrained sense of loyalty forced him to find her. He often was bitter about his creators, but.. he did not hate them for the devotion he felt for her. He couldn’t imagine being without her and the very thought of making her unhappy or letting any harm come to her was so appalling that he couldn’t even fathom such concepts.
He let himself into her- their living room, Nora was sitting on her green loveseat, sinking into the cushy chair with her legs curled under herself. She was working on what looked like a dress, she pulled a needle in and out of the fabric and her tongue stuck out from between her lips in concentration as she worked. Danse smiled at the sight, just seeing her made his earlier anguish feel a little better. The color of the fabric was reminiscent of the dress in the haze of his memories. It was strangely comforting.
He placed a kiss atop her head before sitting on the ottoman before her seat. He set a hand on her knee, needing skin-on-skin contact to force the memory of his “mother’s” hands away from his mind. Nora was wearing a ridiculously oversized flannel, he remembered her excitement when she bought it off of Trashcan Carla a few weeks ago.
“There you are, I woke up without you. Did you get up early?” Nora smiled, she set down her sewing on the arm of her seat.
“I did.” He spoke plainly, he always woke early.. It was difficult to take the soldier out of him. He looked away from her, wondering what exactly he could say to let her know that he was fritzing again.
“Are you alright?” She leaned forward, setting a hand on his cheek. Her touch was soft, it was just the same as the ghost in his memories. He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes, her hand made the memory of his mother come rushing back, it didn’t feel so far away now. The memory of her hand on his cheek was clearer, he could almost smell the scent of flour on her hands.
Danse put his own hand over Nora’s, he held her hand against his face and took a deep breath.
“I-..” What could he say to her? He wished he had a mother? Most people in the wasteland were lucky to grow up to adulthood with all their limbs and most of their teeth, wishing for something like a mother who loved him felt.. frivolous.
“Did you.. like being a mother?” He decided to take a different approach.
Nora’s gaze grew soft, she smiled a little sadly. “I loved it.”
“Can you tell me about it?”
Nora nodded, she took her hand from him and scooted to make room for him on the little couch. “Put your head in my lap hun.” She patted her lap with a soft smile.
Danse did as told, he set his head on her thighs and curled in on himself as much as he could to avoid falling off of the couch. Her hand settled in his hair, her fingers combing through it, Nora was quiet for a long moment. Danse felt a little guilty, he knew that talking about Shaun was hard for her.
“I don’t think I knew what love was until I was holding my baby.” She laughed as if what she said was some kind of joke. Danse looked upward and saw tears in her eyes. He immediately felt as if he’d made a mistake bringing it up.
He cleared his throat, feeling ashamed of making her cry. “I.. shouldn’t have asked. I apologize.”
Nora’s hand in his hair stilled, she cocked her head to the side. “Never apologize Danse, is this.. something you’re thinking of? Babies?”
His eyes widened a little, he shook his head no. “I was just.. thinking about how I was made, I realized that I don’t have a mother.”
Her face visibly crumpled and Danse’s guilt worsened. Before he could apologize again, Nora was hauling him up by his shoulders to pull him into a hug, his face was pushed into her breasts, her hand held the back of his head firmly to force him against her body.
“Oh Danse..” She stroked his hair and Danse relaxed in her hold from the touch, her body was soft and her embrace made him feel safe. He nuzzled his face against her shirt and he was reminded once again of the ghost of a memory that wasn’t his own. He remembered his mother’s red dress, and how safe he felt while he hid in her skirt.
Nora was quiet for a long moment, she rubbed gentle circles against his back.
“Not having a mother doesn’t make you less of a person. You know that right?”
Danse nodded against her body, the feeling of her holding him made his memory clearer, but..as he thought of his mother and her touch, the more Nora’s face appeared in his memory. Nora’s smell, Nora’s touch.. Nora’s soft skin against his own.
The same sense of security grew within him as he replaced his mother’s image with Nora. Nora was his everything, she was his cause, she was his reason for living, she took the broken man he was and somehow decided that she loved him. Everything that he felt for the ghost of a woman in his mind was the same he felt for Nora.
He loved the mother he did not have, and he loved Nora in all ways he knew how to love.
Danse cleared his throat after a long moment, he didn’t want to remove himself from her arms but he needed to be sure that the tears in her eyes were gone. He sat up and as he did, Nora was quick to pull him into a kiss. She pulled away with a smile against his lips, she caught his gaze with hers.
“You’re you organic or not. You’re a person and you’re my person.”
He nodded, his cheeks feeling a little hot from her words. He awkwardly looked away, Danse was still unable to handle such declarations from her. He didn’t feel worthy of her love, but hearing her say it was his favorite thing in the world.
“What were you working on?” He nudged the draped fabric over the arm of the couch.
“Oh! You’ll love it! It’s the prettiest darn thing I’ve seen in a while. There were only a few stains, and it needed a few darts here and there but otherwise this might as well have been straight from the Macy’s spring catalog!”
He smiled at her excitement, there was a time where he thought the way she clung to the old world was impractical, but her smile was radiant and he loved seeing it.
Nora hopped off the couch, she clapped her hands excitedly before snatching the dress and rushing away to the bedroom. Danse assumed she’d be right back.. But it actually took about ten minutes for her to return. By the time he heard the bedroom door open, he’d already started flipping through a book she left on the ottoman.
He looked up to see Nora walking down the hallway. Her steps clicked and he realized she’d changed into heels. Nora was wearing a red checkered dress with a strap that tied around her neck in a bow, it cinched at the waist and spread into a full skirt that bounced as she walked. She’d even applied some makeup to complete the look. Her lips were colored cherry red, Nora did a cute little spin as she stood before Danse on the loveseat.
“Isn’t it perfect?” She grinned, Nora kicked out a foot to show off her completely impractical kitten heels. “Deacon even found me matching shoes!”
She looked like the spitting image of all those old-world posters and books of the picturesque American housewife, she looked.. exactly like the woman who the institute designed to be his mother.
“I used to have a dress just like this..” She sighed and brushed her hands over the skirt with a wistful expression. Nora tucked some hair behind her ear and bounced a little on her feet to watch her dress move.
Danse nodded, her dress had him feeling like he was back in the memories that weren’t his. Like he was the scared little boy who hid from the sound of a gunshot. He looked at the floor, his ears burning in embarrassment at his reaction from seeing the woman he loved.
“Something wrong honey? I thought you’d like it.”
Danse could hear the pout in her voice, he hurriedly shook his head no and leaned forward in his seat to take her hand in his, he pressed a kiss to her knuckles.
“You’re beautiful. You’re always so beautiful.”
Nora pouted, jutting her cherry-painted lip forward. “Then it’s the dress?”
She sounded so crestfallen that Danse’s heart hurt. He bit the inside of his lip, he was unsure of how to tell her what he felt. He saw tears welling up in her eyes again and Danse’s words tumbled out from him before he could hold them back.
“I don’t have.. a mother. The Institute put an idea of a woman in my head, but I know those memories aren’t mine. But you.. look so much like her, you feel so much like her, you make me feel safe, when you tell me that you love me I’m reminded of the woman that doesn’t exist.” He gently took hold of the fabric of her skirt and touching it gave him a flashback so vivid that the understanding that such a memory never occurred to him felt laughable. How could something that felt so special, so real.. be a lie? The love that he felt for the woman who did not exist was so strong.. how could it not be real?
Nora stepped forward and Danse bowed his head to bury his face against her stomach, he put an arm around her while the other clutched a handful of her skirt just like he did in his memory. Danse felt her hand on his head and he instinctively nuzzled his face against her dress, the love he felt for Nora and the love he felt for the concept of a mother blended together and it was overwhelming to ponder. He shut his eyes tightly, willing himself to calm down. He knew the woman in his memories wasn’t real, but he also was afraid to ponder how the love he felt for the facade was so similar to what he felt for Nora. Danse didn’t want to think that somehow what he felt for her was also some part of his programming.
“My poor baby..” Nora’s voice was quiet, she held him to her torso while Danse fought to control his breathing.
“It’s alright. Mommy’s got you. You’re alright.”
Her words broke something within him. Danse’s breath hitched, he melted at her words. Nora’s fingers combed through his hair like the woman in his memory and he sighed at the feeling, he hadn’t realized until then that tears were slowly streaking down his face to wet her dress. He clutched the fabric in his hand tightly, tugging on the dress while his other arm wrapped around her thighs, pulling her closer to himself.
“Shh.. don’t cry, baby. You’re alright.” Nora’s hand on his head was everything he needed, he took his face from her after a long moment and realized that he’d wet her dress with his tears. He opened his mouth to apologize, but she shushed him, her thumb wiped away his tears and he felt fresh ones well at the feeling.
“Let mommy make it better.” She wiped away the last of his tears, her smile was soft and understanding. Danse felt..loved, he didn’t feel any sense of shame or embarrassment even though he had never cried in front of her before, he couldn’t remember if he’d ever shed any tears at any point in his life at all. He involuntarily shuddered, his voice hiccupped before he could say anything to her.
“Can you sit back for me baby? Make room for mommy on the couch?”
“Of course,” His voice was shaky.
“Can you say ‘Yes Mommy’?” She smiled, batting her eyelashes at him to let him know that her words were not a reprimand.
“Yes, mommy.” The words made his face feel hot, but her pleased smile was worth the embarrassment.
Danse sat back, removing his hands from her and looking away from the tear stains he left on her dress. He hoped that he hadn’t ruined the dress that she was so happy to have.
Nora stepped out of her heels daintily and sat next to him, she patted her lap once more and he adjusted to lay with his head in her lap like he’d done earlier before she changed into the dress.
“Are you having a rough day baby?”
He nodded, Danse nuzzled into her body, his hand once again tangling into the fabric of her skirt. He pulled it up slightly and he could feel the bare skin of her thigh against the back of his hand. She began to pet his hair again, her fingers combing through his hair softly. Her other hand held the back of his neck, holding him to her body.
After a few minutes of her calming touch against his scalp, Danse sat up to bury his face in her chest because it was the only skin exposed. He just needed to feel her skin against his in this moment of vulnerability.
“Is that how mommy makes it better?” Her hand skimmed over the neckline of her dress, her voice was gentle.
Danse’s eyes followed her hand, he gently cupped one of her breasts over her dress and leaned back down to nuzzle the valley of her cleavage. Nora reached behind her neck to pull the halter tie that held her dress up. Once the bow was undone, she gently eased him to sit up and then pulled the top of her dress down to sit beneath her breasts.
Though he’d seen her body before, Danse still let out a heavy breath once her naked skin was exposed to him. He gently released his grip on her skirt, realizing that he might accidentally tear the fabric. He instead decided to set a hand on her thigh. He looked to Nora, unsure what to do next.
“You can touch, don’t be shy honey. I think you’ll feel better if you suck on mommy’s tits.”
Until this moment he hadn’t thought that what they were doing could be sexual. He groaned at her words, his hand gently set a hand on one of her breasts while he leaned down to take the other in his mouth. He shuddered out a moan at the way she pushed his face into her, Danse lapped his tongue over her nipple a few times until it hardened into a peak. He wrapped his lips around her with another sigh.
“That’s my good boy… These are all yours baby. All for you.” Nora’s voice was breathy, she rubbed the back of his head with her thumb.
Danse toyed with her other nipple, tweaking it and pinching while he sucked on her. Once Nora began to whimper, he removed his mouth from her to transfer it to her other breast.
Hearing her little gasps had him growing hard near immediately, Danse pulled off of her nipple as she whimpered, he didn’t wish to cause her any discomfort. He nuzzled his face against the underside of her breasts, feeling the pillowy softness against his face while Nora pet his hair.
“You can keep going, Mommy’s just a little sensitive is all.” She spoke sweetly, lifting his head to encourage him back to suckle on her. Danse kissed over her nipple, teasing it with his tongue, he sucked only for Nora to moan softly under her breath. The noise was enough for him to sneak a hand to his pants to adjust himself.
“Aw.. are you hard honey?”
Danse nodded, his cock was aching against the unforgiving fabric of his pants, he lifted his hips to wordlessly ask for her touch.
Nora adjusted her body so she could reach over and palm him over his pants, his cock twitched against her touch while it strained against the fabric.
“Does this hurt baby? Should Mommy help?”
“Please.” He barely recognized his voice. Danse watched as she fumbled with his pants, he realized that it was difficult to do one-handed. He reached to assist her and Nora patted the side of his face appreciatively as he got his waistband low enough to expose his cock.
“Mm.. does touching Mommy make you hard?” She wrapped a hand around his shaft, slowly stroking while she raised his head to encourage him to suck on her tits again. He nodded against her breast, moaning as she continued to pump his cock.
“Do you want to touch Mommy in other places? Between Mommy’s legs?”
His hips thrust against her touch on their own accord, his cock throbbed in her hand. Danse whimpered against her and Nora only chuckled at his reaction.
“This big cock of yours makes Mommy so wet.. I bet this would feel so good inside of me.” She used a finger to spread a bead of precum down his shaft. “Do you want to touch Mommy’s pussy Danse? Do you want to put your cock in me?”
“Yes-” He caught himself, “Yes mommy. Please, I want to touch you.”
Nora released her grip around him, “Sit up baby.”
Danse scrambled to do as told, he watched Nora stand up from the couch, she turned away from him as she hiked her dress up to pull her panties down her legs. She shot him a wink over her shoulder and soon she was straddling his lap with her legs spread over his cock.
“It hurts Mommy.” He whined, falling into the role easily. His cock ached with the need to be inside of her, he pushed the fabric of her skirt up so he could see her bare pussy just inches away from his cock.
“I know baby.” Nora reached between their bodies to take hold of him, she raised on her knees to adjust him to slide between her legs. She rubbed the head of his cock between her lips, coating him in her arousal before rocking her hips to grind him against her clit. She moaned softly as she played with him and Danse wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face in her shoulder.
“Can you feel how wet I am baby? You’re so perfect for me Danse.. So handsome. My perfect good boy. Mommy loves you so much.”
Her words forced a whimper from his throat, he felt her body raise and she finally set him to press against her dripping cunt. Her body was velveteen softness against his aching cock and he cried out as she sunk her tight heat down, encasing him in wet silk. He rocked his hips upward on instinct, Nora’s responding moan had him twitching inside of her.
Danse hungrily watched her tits as she lifted her body and brought herself down atop him. He lifted her breasts with his hands and greedily sucked a nipple into his mouth. Nora whined in response, her hands found purchase on his shoulders.
Danse grunted out a moan at the feeling of Nora bouncing atop him, his teeth grazed against her nipple and Nora’s pussy clenched around him. She was so tight and wet around him, her body felt as if it was made to wrap around his cock, his mommy’s pussy was made for him, to make him feel good and take away all of the hurt.
Danse took one hand from her breast to wrap an arm around Nora’s waist. He pulled her down so they were chest to chest and Danse’s hands settled at her hips. He lifted her to drive his cock up into her with a heavy thrust,
“That’s it, baby. Use Mommy’s pussy. Fuck me.”
Her words rocketed through him, making him shudder as he drove upward again. Danse choked on a gasp as he began to pound into her again and again. He used his bare strength to slam into her from below.
“ Nora-” He groaned, “I-“ He intended to warn her of his orgasm but she pinched his cheek and stole his words from him.
“That’s no way to speak to your Mommy, Danse.” Her words were playful, she gave him a teasing smile that broke as her lips widened to moan at the way he pulled her down to meet his cock, driving himself deep as possible.
“U-understood. I’m sorry Mommy.”
“That’s better.” She giggled, her hands gripping his shoulders.
“Mgh- Baby..” Nora whimpered, grinding her hips down to meet his thrusts. “Are you gonna come?” She waited for him to nod before continuing. “I want you to come inside.. I want you to fill Mommy’s pussy with your come, can you do that for me baby?”
“Yes Mommy.” His balls were tight and his thrusts were a frenzied mess as he lost himself to the feeling of her body tightening and constricting around him, as if Nora’s cunt was begging for his come. He mumbled another ‘ Yes Mommy’ as he slammed into her with a heavy thrust. As he got closer and closer to orgasm more ‘Yes Mommy’s spilled from his lips until he was just chanting Mommy over and over again.
Nora was all out crying out above him, her nails digging into his shoulders. She met his words with her own, telling him he was such a good boy, that he was her perfect baby, that his cock was all hers and she loved him more than anything. Her words cut out with a sharp moan as Danse finally pulled her over the edge. As soon as she started to come, he seized up with a stuttered groan.
She felt him throb inside of her, the hot jets of come pumping into her prolonged her orgasm and she rocked against his still throbbing cock as she greedily rode out the aftershocks.
Danse released his grip on her hips and buried his face in her collarbone, with a moan. After a few moments of catching their breath, Nora relaxed against him and eased him to rest with his face in her cleavage once more. She pet the back of his neck with her thumb while the other hand combed through his hair.
“Mm… you came so much. I can feel it dripping out of me.”
His cock gave a tired twitch at her words, Nora sat up to remove him from her and she lifted her dress so he could watch his come drip from her well-fucked cunt and onto his body. She giggled at the way his breath hitched.
Nora finally pulled her dress over her head and sighed, “I spent hours steaming that. But I suppose it was worth the effort.” She draped the dress over the arm of the couch and Danse pulled her to his chest so he could steal her lips in a kiss.
By the time Nora pulled away, they were both breathless. Danse had red lipstick smeared over his lips and chin. She laughed at the sight.
“You’re a mess love.”
“Am I?” Her smile forced his own, and he pressed his lips to hers once more as he found himself overcome with affection.
“Mmhm. Come, let Mommy clean you up.”
She stood and led him to the bathroom, Danse walked behind her and greedily took in the sight of his come dripping down her inner thighs.
He may not be an organic human.. But watching her walk a little bow-legged left him feeling like as much of a man as one born from a womb. He supposed it didn’t matter that he didn’t have a real mother. There was no room in his heart to long for the memory of a woman whose love was never his own. He did not want to long for any other sort of love besides what he felt for Nora.