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“You were just like Dudley” Harry said, sat on the back steps of their home with his father. Watching the fireflies dance across the small pond, his ears were fixed on his father though, wanting an explanation for his behaviour. “Him and his friends used to gang up against me and bully me, Harry hunting they called it, the way you did with Professor Snape.”
“I wanted your mother’s attention.” James responded, focus on Harry, “I was a stupid kid who thought I had to show her I was better than her friend.”
“The best way to get her attention?” Harry asked, eyes on his father now, watching his every move.
James nodded.
“So, if I like someone, I have to hurt their friends to get their attention? I don’t want to be a bully.”
James almost chocked on his drink, his cheeks taking on a pink hue. He knew that his behaviour as a teenager had been horrid but having his own child call him out on it, really hammered things in.
It was funny, when he had been younger watching his own parents and how they loved each other, he had declared that he would find love like theirs. His parents had laughed, his father remarking that he had had to chase his mother before she finally agreed.
Euphemia had agreed, saying women liked to be chased and it helped to be the bigger man in the room.
James had taken all this to heart, and when he met Lily and Snape, he had re-enacted it. If it worked for his parents, then it would work for him. And it did.
Not once did James give a thought to Snape and how his actions affected the other boy. He wanted Lily and saw Snape as competition, and so he assaulted and bullied him, just to prove he was “better”. Every negative thing he could think of to do to Snape he had done and when Lily finally broke off their friendship he had rejoiced.
James had never paused and thought the other boy deserved it, at appoint he began to believe his own rumours. He saw himself and his friends as the good guys and Snape as the filthy beast trying to harm the girl.
His dad had been right. Chase the girl and be the biggest man in the room and she would be yours.
James had gone so far as to rub it in for Snape. Hands over Lily when he would see Snape, remarks about everything they did in earshot of the slytherin and not to mention the kisses, they were good on their own but extraordinary when Snape would see them at it.
And James had been proud of himself, so sure that the looks of longing and sighs of defeat were indications of Snape’s jealousy. That he wanted to be in James’s position. The one with his hands around Lily and lips pressed against hers.
How foolish and myopic he had been.
James could not help but cringe at the thought of it all, everything just seemed so pathetic now.
There was jealousy in there as well from James. Although Snape came from an obviously poor background, it was obvious he was extremely intelligent and powerful, if he was being honest with himself, he could see why Sirius had a thing for the slytherin.
After all, who could take on four classmates almost daily, improve the potions and some spells taught in class on their own?
If James and the other marauders had been smart, they would have befriended Snape. Made him a marauder. His sharp tongue and talents would have fitted in perfectly. Not to mention, Sirius would have had a chance with Snape, and they might have dated. Perhaps they would still be together now, maybe with kids of their own.
James sighed; with how intelligent Snape was, he would have probably helped Moony as well. Lily would have liked James better for not being a bullying toerag and they could have proven that Slytherin and Gryffindor could co-exist.
They had really screwed themselves over.
Looking at his son, he wondered how he could defend his actions.
His son had been treated the way Snape had been treated. Bullied by his peers, ignored by his teachers, and discarded by those who were meant to care for him. Harry had been alone, stuck with people who never wanted him.
Albus’s words rang in his ear “Now you have a problem with me looking the other way?”
The regret that washed over him was enormous.
He and his friends, just like Dudley and his friends, had taken pride in the fact no one ever cared for their target. But in Dudley’s case, he was a child -barely ten- therefore he could still change but James and his friends? They had been teenagers and then adults.
For even after they graduated, they would send hexes and curses to Snape at every chance they got.
Harry was a lot luckier than Snape; for even though his clothes were old at least he would have gotten access to his vault once he turned eleven, his parents were known and liked, he was the boy who outlived the killing curse… Harry would have a chance at friends once he entered the magical world, Snape never got that, and the marauders had a heavy hand to play in it.
“No son” James ruffled Harry’s hair, voice thick with emotion, “If you like someone don’t hurt their friends no matter what.”
Harry smiled at his dad then, a smile that made James hopeful that at least the Potter way of flirting would get better, his returning smile dropped when Harry replied with.
“I know dad, Severus never bullied his boyfriend or his boyfriend’s friends, no way I’m going to bully to get attention.” The boy hugged his father, not noticing how tense he had become. “I’m going to help mum with dinner.” And off he sprinted, leaving his father with his mouth agape.
The irony of life.