Chapter Text
It was in your junior year of college when you met the boy with dark shaggy hair, he had caught your attention the second you entered the bar. You didn't even grimace at the strong smell of alcohol and sweat like you usually did, all your attention on him. That night Gojo had dragged you to the bar, something about getting 'the full college experience'. When Gojo introduced you to Toji, you couldn't help but notice a small scar that ran across his lips. Everything about him was just so pretty. From his smooth skin, enchanting eyes, or the way his muscular arms flexed ever so slightly when he reached out to shake your hand. You were enraptured by the man in front of you. A smirk made its way across his face when he noticed your stare, causing your cheeks to turn a deep shade of pink. You ended up talking to Toji for hours that night, he wanted to know everything about you. He was only a year older than you despite his maturity. You almost felt like a child in his presence, hanging on to every word he said.
After that night you continued seeing each other almost everyday. And for a year your life was filled with sweet kisses and stupid inside jokes that nobody else would get. He could make you laugh until your sides hurt and held you in his arms when you cried. It was a love that completely consumed you... which is why it hurt so bad when he left.
The day had started normally, you woke up to the sound of birds chirping and the low hum of Toji's breathing. You smiled as you unraveled yourself from his arms and slid out from under the covers. Your legs trembled a bit as you stood up, a reminder of the previous night. Your sex life had been much more active since dating Toji, which was something you definitely weren't complaining about. You moved towards the bathroom, quietly as possible in hopes that you wouldn't wake your sleeping boyfriend. The sentiment would not last as you heard Toji grunt softly behind you.
"Good morning, Baby", he said so quietly you almost didn't hear him.
"Hi Toj,",
You walked back towards the bed and crawled on top of him, lying your head on his firm chest. He lay one hand on your waist and used the other to drag his fingers up and down your arm, humming in pure bliss. You could not imagine feeling more content than at this moment. After a few minutes of peace, he cleared his throat, "I don't want to ruin our morning but we have to finish what we started talking about yesterday." You didn't want to talk about this. You didn't want to yesterday and you certainly don't want to right now. After letting out a sigh, you whispered,"Toji please. Not right now." nuzzling yourself deeper into his chest. With that he gently pushed you off his chest and onto the bed, sitting you down on the plush mattress.
With his elbow resting on a pillow he said, "Trust me I don't want to talk about this either but we don't have a choice. I'm graduating in a week and you still haven't given me an answer."
"Toj, what am I supposed to say? I'm happy you're looking for a job but you're going to be leaving me."
"I'm not leaving you. I am leaving the country, and only until I can secure a job here. I want you to come with me more than anything."
You sat up a little straighter,"And what, Toji? I leave everything? My school? My friends? I only have a year left of school, why can't you just wait a little longer?"
Toji began running his hand through his hair, a nervous tic that only appeared when you got into arguments.
"I need to start working the second I graduate. I want to be able to build a life with you, but we can't afford that with my job right now. This job will give us the financial stability we need."
"Toj, I-I just can't." your voice cracked a little as tears threatened to spill out of your eyes.
Toji stood up, his brows furrowed.
"So what then?", he said with a hint of anger building in his voice, "Is that your way of breaking up with me?".
You shook your head as tears uncontrollably streamed down your cheeks.
"I need to step outside" you sputtered, quickly leaving the room in only your pajamas.
You felt like you were about to throw up.
Toji's POV
Toji watched as you rushed out of the bedroom. It hurt his heart to see you cry, especially when he knew that he caused your pain. He almost ran after you, begging you to come with him, promising you happiness wherever you went, as long as you were together. But he knew you too well, he knew that you needed space to think and breathe.
A buzzing came from his phone, snapping him back to reality. 'Shit', he thought, 'I completely forgot my interview is in thirty minutes'. He hurriedly brushed his teeth and dressed himself in a dark blue suit. He hesitated at the door, realizing that you hadn't returned. He wanted to finish the conversation from earlier and say everything he needed to, but for now he could only manage a scribbled note before rushing out the door.
Reader's POV
After a short walk, you finally caught your breath. Confrontation had never been easy for you, you would usually end up completely shutting down after an argument. But you knew exactly what you were going to say to Toji, you loved him and that was enough. You would make it enough, because the alternative was losing him. And you didn't think you could survive that. As you made your way back into your apartment, something felt off. Your apartment was still, no buzz from the coffee machine or the thumping of Toji's heavy footsteps. You scanned the kitchen, looking for any sign of him. Only a small piece of paper lay on your otherwise clean counter.
The note read, 'I'm leaving, sorry'.
You stared at the note, completely speechless, a lump growing in your throat. Tears pooled in your eyes, you couldn't breathe. 'I pushed him too far this time,' you thought as you squeezed your fists into tight balls, nearly drawing blood. After a few minutes of crying you picked yourself up, doing your best to take deep breaths. 'How could he just leave? Does he want me packed up before he gets home? Why can't my hands stop fucking shaking?' thoughts clouded your head as you stuffed all your belongings into a suitcase.
You stumbled out of the apartment door as you dialed your best friend's phone number,"Shoko, I need you to pick-", you hiccuped before continuing,"To pick me up from Toji's apartment. Please."
It had been a year since that day, a year since you last saw Toji. After graduation, you moved in with Shoko and she welcomed you with open arms. For the first few months you could barely get out of bed to attend class, and although you still hadn't fully recovered from the breakup, you had made a lot of progress. You started a new job and you were making new friends through Shoko. But you still spent nights curled up in the hoodie you stole from him, crying yourself to sleep. It still smelled like him.
A knock at your bedroom door made you jump a little, when you turned your head you were met with a worried Shoko peering behind the door.
"Hey, you okay?" she asked with a sad smile on her face.
"Yeah, Shoko. Don't worry about me, I'm just putting makeup on"
"Oh right," a smug look grew on her face,"You ready for your blind date?"
You rolled your eyes slightly, taking in a deep breath.
"You mean the date you're practically forcing me on?"
Shoko softly chuckled, raising her hands in defense,"Hey, no ones forcing you to do anything."
You turned back facing the mirror,"Yeah whatever."
"Have fun," Shoko sang before closing the door.
You know that you needed to get over Toji, you just didn't realize how hard it would be.
You ended up wearing your favorite dress, a deep red, the thin fabric accentuating every curve on your body. It's a bit short, but it matches perfectly with your only pair of heels. It had been so long since you felt this pretty. You felt the stares on you as you entered the restaurant which made you a little self conscious, but you brushed it off the best you could. You locate your date based on the brief description Shoko gave you before you left. He's handsome, but in a sorta bland way. An awkward silence settles after an exchange of polite introductions, you have completely forgotten how to flirt.
You began to nervously adjust your dress as you felt a pair of eyes burning into the back of your head. You turned, searching for whoever had been staring at you from the moment you entered the restaurant. Your eyes locked with the face you had been doing your best to forget about.
"Toji" you whispered to yourself. Your breath hitched as you watched him rise from his seat at the bar. He made his way towards you drink still in hand, not breaking eye contact.
You turned back to your date, a quizzical look on his face."Sorry, can you excuse me for a moment?", you stood up without giving him a chance to respond and made a beeline towards the exit. As your hand reached out for the door handle, a rough hand grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. You didn't have to turn around, you knew exactly who this is.
"Running away from me again?" Toji spoke roughly, his breath reeked of alcohol.
You tried to steady yourself to the best of your abilities as you turned back to face the man. "You're one to talk, Toj" , your words laced with bitterness.
Hearing you say his nickname, a nickname only you could call him, caused him to stumble back releasing his grip on your wrist.
As soon as you were free from his grasp, you bolted out the door. Your feet were red and painful after running in heels, so you decided to rest on the curb of a busy road. The bright city lights nearly distracted you from what had just happened. You were so angry. Angry at him for giving up on you so easily a year ago. Angry at yourself for not chewing him out on sight. But most of all you were angry that you still loved him. After everything you still loved him. You loved him, so much it hurt. When you saw his face, your heart couldn't help but skip a beat.
You had never seen Toji drunk before, and you couldn't wrap your mind around why he would even start drinking. It made you a little sad, if you were being completely honest. Seeing him look so worn out, wasted out of his mind. He had always been so calm and collected. After a few minutes of just sitting and watching the traffic, you called a taxi. The emptiness in your heart only grew as you made your way home.
The year of healing coming undone.