Chapter Text
On a frosty February morning, Zim leaves the little green house and heads down the alley. He goes forward with a confident, purposeful gait and does not see the figure that has been motionless until then detaches itself from the fence behind him. Merging with the landscape, it moves behind it. Step by step, step by step, silently, imperceptibly, ready to disappear at any second, to dive into the shadows-if they only see out of the corner of their eyes, turn around. But Zim doesn't turn around. Zim never turns around, and Keef knows it. He was always on duty and always safe,and always lucky. Follow him. Keep your distance, but follow. Step by step.
Zim eats the candy, throws the wrappers on the ground, and Keef hastily picks them up. Some have the poop candy sweet logo on them, and others have strange symbols that Keef doesn't know, but carefully puts them in his pocket.
Zim walks toward the school. Turn, turn again. Just like yesterday. Just like many days before. He doesn't notice who's following him, doesn't notice anything around him, doesn't even notice the cold – and it's cold today, it's very cold, Keef can feel it. Keef breathes steam. He feels the cold air under his unbuttoned jacket. He deliberately unbuttoned it to freeze. Like Zim. And Zim doesn't seem to feel anything, Zim is dressed as always in his invariable pink jacket. It goes, without noticing anything, a turn, another turn. It opens onto the street leading to the school.
Keef quickens his pace Finally. Happiness overtakes, as if it were a chance meeting:
“Zim! Good morning! Isn't this a good morning? The perfect morning for friends to walk to school?”
What did he say? Keef can't hear himself, only Zim.
“Get out of the way!” Zim frowns and shudders. At least Keef thinks he's flinching. It's cold, he's still cold, no other way. This moment has come!
“It's cold today, isn't it?” Keef continues cheerfully, “I noticed that you don't have a scarf, and as a friend I knitted you a scarf. A scarf is a sign of our friendship.”
He snatches a pink scarf of incredible length from his backpack. He had been knitting it for so long. He couldn't stop, the scarf was getting longer and longer, and Keef couldn't stop. This scarf was supposed to cover him completely, to save him from the cold. Guaranteed, reliable, because Zim no longer has warm clothes. No, and it is unlikely to be. Just this scarf. Only he can save him.
“Here. Your favorite color”, Keef winds endless loops around Zim's throat until he starts screaming and choking. Zim flails his arms, trying to escape, and Keef catches them.
“Oh, I see you're glad! Now you will be warm! Do you want to hug me?”
Unable to believe his luck, Keef wraps his arms around a pink woolen ball that barely reveals Zim. He struggles to free his face, takes a deep breath, and yells.
“Get off me!!!”
A powerful blow sends Keef into the bushes. Happiness overwhelms him, most importantly the scarf is now on Zim!
Zim struggles to get the scarf off his head, spitting fur. Quickly, before Keef can get out of the bushes, Zim runs to school, and the scarf that has fallen to his waist follows him along the ground like a giant pink snake.
Keef looks after him and smiles. The picture trembles before his eyes.
***
“Silence!!!”
No one saw Miss Bitters enter the classroom. Everyone immediately froze in horror, and even the chewed pieces of paper that the children were spitting on each other hung in the air. Zim was hiding under his desk, combing the disgusting human drool out of his wig. The morning started off tense.
“Good news for you degenerates, and disgusting news for the whole civilization”, meanwhile the infernal teacher continued. “The Department of Education has again lowered the requirements for certification. The next class will go to those whose average score for the half-year will be at least 1.5. Even the most stupid of you pass. Even Chunk has 1.62. Even Zim has 1.56. Even Willie has 1.52. This is outrageous. In my day, you would all have been relegated to a second year. Although there is still a lot of time until June. You can still end up in a ditch.”
The rest of the lesson turned into a mournful grumble about how humanity has degraded, extinction is inevitable, and the heated death of the universe is inevitable. The grading sheet was snatched from the teacher's desk and passed around the classroom unnoticed. Dib saw that he was worth 2.72, and was glad, what a genius his never big head was. And to investigate the paranormal, and to chase aliens, and to learn, as it turned out, too – there is enough for everything. Zita, whose score was as much as 3.8 points, shone like a thermonuclear light bulb, and even took notes of all the interjections for Miss Bitters.
Zim didn't participate in the intelligence race, he already considered himself the smartest, and the next conquest of the world was planned for the evening. Of course, it is brilliant and doomed to success.
After school, he quickly slipped out of the classroom, not realizing that Keef, who was sitting behind him, had been watching him very closely all this time. Keef saw that Zim was gone, and that the scarf hanging on the back of the chair was still there. Keef grabbed it and ran after it. He managed to catch up with Zim only after the intersection, so much so that someone could not wait to collapse into insidious plans.
“Zim! You forgot your scarf! I brought it for you!”
Zim recoiled.
“Fuck off!”
But Keef didn't hear him. He only saw him.
“It's not easy to get used to the fact that now you have a scarf and it will never be cold again! But I'll remind you! As much as you need! After all, we are friends!”
Keef wrapped the scarf around Zim again and, unable to contain his emotions any longer, went home. Zim gnashed his teeth in rage. What does this human larva allow itself? So that the invader is afraid of some cold?! Zim began to pull off the pink abomination of indecent length, when a new idea occurred to him. And what if we make the fuse longer and thus deceive this worm Dib? Inspired by the thought of the inevitable victory, Zim rushed to the base.
***
Again the cold winter morning, and again Zim goes out of the house. He doesn't look back at the green dog waving at him from the porch, doesn't pay attention to the garden gnomes twitching strangely at his approach. With his head hunched into his shoulders, he walks down the alley, firmly marching each step, busily sipping soda from a huge glass through a straw.
Leaving his hiding place behind one of the parked cars, Keef rushes after him. Cautious and stealthy, he glides through the alley like a shadow of a human, a hint of a human, to instantly vanish in case of danger. Zim is coming. Keef walks behind him. Step by step. An excruciating distance. Don't lose your step. Don't give yourself away.
No scarf. Zim is not wearing a scarf again, and Keef is suffering from the cold with him. Zim must be suffering from the cold. Keef can see him shivering, his head hunched into his shoulders. There should be a scarf on these shoulders, where it belongs. But it's not there. How? Why? Keef doesn't know. This morning is even colder than the previous one. What reason could prevent you from wearing a scarf on this cold morning? He had to wear it. He had to warm him up. How Keef wanted to warm him up. But he couldn't. He couldn't afford it. The scarf was supposed to be in his hands. Keef had to embrace Zim, save him from the cold. Keef follows Zim, Keef stares at Zim, sees Zim trembling. His clothes are too light. It's not for Zim at all. So he wants to rush after him, give up his jacket. Put it on Zims shoulders, wrap him in his warmth. Wrap Zim in a jacket, wrap him tightly so that all the heat goes into him, so that not a particle of heat is lost aimlessly. Keef sighs, and his breath freezes in front of him for a moment, a weightless haze.
Zim finishes his soda and tosses the cup on the lawn. Keef rushes over, picks up the cup carefully with both hands, and raises the tube to his lips in a half-daze. The world sways and whirls around him. A sweet drop falls on the tongue, incredibly sweet, impossibly sweet, I want to enjoy it endlessly. Enjoy the moment, enjoy the touch, the taste of absolute bliss on your lips. Hastily tucking the cup into his backpack, Keef returns to his previous route. Turn. Another turn. The same path to school. Daily moments of happiness. Minutes that belong only to him. Last turn. The last intersection. Once again, quickening his pace, Keef overtakes Zim.
“Hi, Zim!”
Keef smiles. Seeing the amazement in those eyes, how can he not smile? It's impossible to control yourself at the sight of those eyes. It's impossible to think.
“It's a good morning, isn't i…”
“NOOO!!! Not again!”
Zim screams and runs off to school at top speed.
“... Great morning ... and I was glad to see you ... it was so glad to see you, Zim ... so close…”
Keef whispers under his breath, and Keef watches him go. The frosty air trembles with the pounding of his heart.
***
“Watch out!”
Under the unanimous terrified sigh, a chair crashed into the blackboard with all its might. Torque had been flexing his growing muscles since the morning. Melvin was next picked up on his shoulder and flew the same route, like a screaming meat core.
Zim was sitting with his face buried in the desk in front of him, holding his head and shuddering at every sound. He was very ill after yesterday. Such a promising and perfectly thought-out plan, thwarted because of some stupidity. A brilliant distracting invention, hidden in the basement of an abandoned unfinished building, was guaranteed to eliminate the enemy. For reliability, Zim even drew arrows on the floor. At this time, he himself was going to eradicate the population of the city with hypnotic waves from the roof. But for some reason, the device did not explode when Dib approached. It did not explode even when it was removed. The vile worm did not pay attention at all to the supposedly stuffed snowman standing in the basement, but ran upstairs, threw Zim off the roof and threw a fragile radiator after him. And only when Zim went down to take out the evil on the treacherous piece of iron, he treacherously broke into his face.
Naturally, Zim could not allow such a simple thought. That he did not calculate the length of the fuse. No, it was probably a sneaky Dib who arranged everything and broke the fuse. Damn this vile big-headed monster, every time disrupting the entire capture of the planet! Damn the annoying Keef and his stupid stuff! Damn the human larvae, who decided to break the furniture today! His head was still ringing and splitting, and his brains were detonating from any rustle. Zim barely crawled to school – he was so pounding from anger and the consequences of the concussion. He couldn't not come – it would mean signing up for his own weakness to the bastard Dib. Although he was already sitting so happy that he wanted to kill, he stared at him across the whole class and gnawed nuts that he took right out of his dirty pockets. Asshole. I would like to set mad squirrels on him.
And the Keef, without looking up, looked at Zim, saw that something bad was happening to him, and was tormented by the inability to help in any way. Why is Zim so ill? Maybe he didn't get enough sleep? And why? What could have prevented him? Or did he eat something wrong? And did Zim have breakfast with anything other than soda?
Meanwhile, Torque lifted the desk over his head, spun it with an effort and threw it forward, not noticing that the gloomy ghost of Miss Bitters was already floating around the classroom. Under her withering gaze, everyone immediately collapsed into their seats, and the desk crumbled to dust on the approach.
“You are the biggest disappointment in my career.” The old vixen rasped, “and I, believe me, have seen everyone. I can't wait for you to go to high school and stop trying my patience. Torque, get into your classroom and make your teacher nervous there! Melvin, get out from under my desk right now! Tae, get yourself a new desk! This is impossible! And you know what's the worst part? Here! Your essays on the horrors of the black death, which you submitted last week.”
A stack of notebooks fell on the table like a doomsday thunder. The class froze in tension.
“What you have written here is incredible nonsense! You will not notice how such frivolity will lead you all to death! Let's check your knowledge. Maybe there is at least something left. Mary, what is the percentage of necrotic skin damage in sepsis?”
Mary began to rapidly turn pale and slide under the desk.
“Everything is clear!” Sara, where was the quarantine first introduced?
“Uh... In Pittsburgh, I think. I heard something like that…”
“Wrong!” Miss Bitters roared, cutting off the nervous flow of words. “Zim, on what day does hemoptysis begin?”
Zim suffered. Each loud exclamation of the hated teacher was screwed into his auditory nerves with a red-hot instrument of torture.
“How long do I have to wait for an answer?! Are you hoping that I will forget about your existence? Keef, put your hand down, I'm not interested in your opinion right now!”
Zim never learned human history, he considered it the most useless thing in school, and in general. What does the invader care about the past of these insignificant boogers, if their future is in his hands?! The only thing he knew about the plague epidemic from some stupid Gir’s TV show was that rodents were to blame for everything. And it seemed pretty damn logical.
“Rats!” He screamed heart-rendingly, trying to shout over the ringing in his head, but only making it worse. “When rats gnaw through the chest and devour the lungs!”
In the absolute silence that followed, Miss Bitters could be heard grinding her teeth in rage, and the very space around her seemed to be covered with black ripples.
“Do you know, Zim, what the rats really chewed through? Your brains! D! The whole class! Idiots. With such knowledge, you would not have lasted a week at that time. Take your notebooks with you. And burn them as a source of heresy.”
The class hummed dejectedly.
“Silence!” Miss Bitters voice was getting worse by the second. “Humanity has been desperately trying to survive for thousands of years, but it will be doomed to perish in an instant because of people like you. Zim, come to the board and tell us about the basic classification of plague zombies! Let's see how far your stupidity extends.”
Zim struggled to his feet. He didn't know any classifications at close range, his head was splitting even more from the howls of the afterlife, and the rows of desks in front of his eyes were shaking, as if the classroom had fallen into a quantum storm.
Karl from the back rows tried to prompt, miming, as if biting off something long and stretching. The sight was unbearably reminiscent of pizza with its disgusting cheese threads, and Zim remembered that zombies were supposed to hunt people.
“Human-devouring!” he shouted, trying not to stagger too much.
“NO!!!” All the ghosts of hell seemed to howl at once overhead. “The carnivorous type was characteristic of the First and Second zombie epidemics, I repeated this to you every lesson! You're hopeless! A D is an unacceptably high mark for you! F – to the whole class! You can thank your friend!”
A collective cry of indignation almost tore Zim's brains to shreds. Unable to bear this torture any longer, he writhed at the blackboard, while Dib cracked nuts and chuckled. He didn't care much about his own grades right now, but the humiliation of his worst enemy was an invaluable sight.
Then it only got worse, angry classmates pushed Zim in the corridors at every opportunity and allegedly accidentally constantly bumped into his desk, and at the end of the painful day there was physical education on the schedule, and Zim very quickly regretted that he had not thought of skipping. From the noise filling the gym, shouts, the clatter of balls and the teacher's whistle, he twitched every second, jumped up and grabbed his falling off head, which wildly irritated the physical teacher, who was blushing with all the might of his smoky lungs:
“Why are you catching flies? Where did you go? Stand up straight! What kind of ballet?! You're already missing the third ball! Are you going to play at all today or not?!”
Zim was barely balancing on half-bent legs, an apocalyptic cacophony was ringing in his head, and the physical teacher was getting more and more excited, until Zim, driven to despair, shouted in response:
“Shut up! Shut up, you disgusting, ugly human freak! How dare you open your mouth at Zim?!”
“What did you say, you little bastard?!” He choked with anger and immediately moved to kick the impudent student non-existent ears.
But at that moment, Dib stealthily pulled up to Chunk, who was just holding the ball in his hands, and whispered softly:
“Playing dodgeball is more interesting.”
Chunk coughed and threw the ball straight at Zim to the cheers of the whole class. Few people were inspired by the prospect of explaining themselves to their parents because of the amazing grades in the report card. From a powerful blow, Zim flew over the wall and folded in half. Keef immediately rushed to his aid.
“Zim, are you okay? Are you alive? Say something!”
Zim didn't answer. He didn't see or hear anything and just gasped for air.
“Drop this squishy weakling and get back to your position!” The dissatisfied physical teacher barked.
“But he’s hurting! Don't worry, I'll take him to the infirmary.”
“Infirmary!?! You all need good military training, not an infirmary! Here in my time…”
Meanwhile, Zim came to himself and saw the familiar redhead looming in front of him. Slowly and carefully, while no one was looking at him, he crawled towards the exit. So when Keef turned back to Zim, he was no longer there, and only his feet flashed in the doorway of the gym.
“Zim, wait, I'll help you!” Keef ran after him. Finally, he had an opportunity! Helping Zim was the most important thing, more important than absenteeism. After all, he is so weak! What if he got hurt? What if he needs to go to the hospital urgently? But Keef will help, Keef will do everything. If necessary, Keef will be ready to carry him in his arms across half the city as the best and most loyal friend. And Zim will see how Keef cares about him, and will understand how much he is dear to Keef. And he will be filled with gratitude. Just thinking about it made his eyes sting.
Zim somehow got up and trudged away down the corridor. He's had enough lessons for today, he needs to get back to the base as soon as possible, recover a little, and in the evening he will take such revenge that Dib, this vile arrogant trash, will plaster his insides all over the neighborhood! But first he needed to leave the school, and it was not so easy.
“Zim, where are you going? The infirmary is in the other direction! Zim, wait!”
The alien crawled faster along the wall, but it was impossible to escape from this annoying scourge.
“Wait, you're going the wrong way. Why don't I take you?”
“Shut up! Shut up!” Zim clutched his head again, trying to hold on to the crumbling skull.
“Are you feeling bad, Zim? How are you feeling? Where does it hurt? Let me see…”
“Don't touch me!” Zim recoiled in horror, seeing the red worm again reaching out to him with its hands.
“But, Zim…” Keef obediently stepped back. “I think you're not feeling well, let's go to the infirmary.”
“Zim is good!” The alien howled. “Fuck the infirmary! Zim is going home!”
“Are you sure? Wait a minute, I'll be right there, I'll walk you out.”
Zim, of course, did not wait. The prospect of such a ballast did not please him at all, so while Keef was rummaging through his locker with hands shaking with excitement, Zim quickly rushed to the exit, ignoring the bloody circles that flashed before his eyes. But, despite all efforts, they caught up with him just outside the school gates.
“How stupid I am, you probably needed to get out of the air as soon as possible.”
“Yes, Zim needs air! You're wasting Zim's air! Get out of here!”
–“Zim, I want to make sure you get home safely. I promise, I will breathe less.”
“Aaa!” Zim hastened his pace in desperation, but it was impossible to get rid of Keef.
“Zim, you forgot your scarf again today. Well, don't be so sad, I promised to remind you about him. Or... Are you all right? If something happens to the scarf, I can tie more. As long as it is necessary.”
“Will you shut up or not?!”
“Just, Zim... It's so cold today. Aren't you cold? If you're cold, then here, take my scarf, I'm fine without it, honestly. Wait, Zim, where are you going? There is a red light there! You know, Zim, don't worry about physical education, I'm not very athletic either. And I don't hit the ball. Volleyball – such a difficult game. And I don't know how to climb a rope at all. Once I even fell off it, that was a laugh…”
“Oh, Irk, get away from me!” Zim groaned, unable to bear this murderous chirping above his head.
“-And the fact that Miss Bitters delivered F to us today, this is also not terrible. We'll fix the grades, there are so many months ahead, don't worry.”
The evaluations of the hated human larvae were the last thing Zim was worried about right now. It was necessary to urgently prepare a regeneration capsule, and then think about the plan for the evening revenge. Time was running out, and Zims head was spinning. Dib will pay for everything, for every second of this torment!
For a moment, the alien even forgot about his boring escort and was a little inspired, when suddenly this terrible voice was heard again nearby:
“Zim, are you feeling a little better? I can stay and sit with you until your parents come home from work.”
Keef's breath caught in his throat at his own boldness. What if Zim agrees? If he accepts help and care from his best friend? If Keef could sit by his bed while he slept, so weak and defenseless? And then give him a drink of chicken broth or fragrant tea. It would be such happiness.
“Keef?” Zim demanded, “Look over there.”
“Where to?” The Keef looked around. “You're talking about that bird…”
At that moment, a piece of compressed snow was pressed into his face. After that, Zim picked up the fallen Keef by the legs with manipulators and stuck him upside down into the nearest snowdrift. There were no witnesses in sight, and Zim finally rushed to the base. Hurry, as soon as possible, away from this fiend. How did the invader allow himself to be dragged into this? Not a day, but a nightmare of some kind. Well, nothing, he will still show everyone! Tonight, a pathetic lump of cosmic dirt will finally see its doom!
Behind his rapidly retreating back, Keef fell out of the snowdrift and stared after him for a long time with a dreamy gaze.
***
Another cold gray morning rises over the city, rainy and dank. Zim rushes out into the yard, slamming the door, and the snow slides off the sloping roof of a small green house. Furiously slamming his heels into the asphalt sparkling from the weightless snow, he rushes along the usual daily route along a deserted street.
Behind him, Keef emerges from the shadows between the houses and moves after him, at the same speed, at the same pace, as if tied by an invisible thread. He takes every step at the same time as Zim, takes every breath at the same time as Zim. A daily path, a ritual that allows you to turn into a single whole with Zim. A few cherished minutes when Zim is left alone with him. And no one else, not a single soul in the whole world. Only the smallest snowflakes fall silently from the sky.
Today Zim doesn't eat or drink anything, and Keef is watching him without looking up. He sees every sharp, rapid step, remembers every nervous movement, every slight turn of the head. Every moment is burned on the retina by a separate eternity. Zim is coming. Keef follows. The silhouette trembles in the frosty air before his eyes. So close and so far away. Don't dare come a step closer. Do not dare betray your presence. It's always been like this, day after day. Just follow Zim. Endlessly. Just look at Zim. Continuously. Until yesterday.
Yesterday, a miracle happened, Keef was able to accompany Zim almost to the house. Don't hide. Don't blend in with the shadows. Walking side by side on the street, together, like two best friends. Finally, his cherished dream came true. Be close to Zim. Nothing else is needed in the whole wide world. All night long, Keef could only think about this, second by second, scrolling through the road from school. The euphoria was overshadowed by only one thing-Zim did not feel well. He may have cheered up at the end and decided to play snowballs, but what if he got worse later? Or maybe he just wanted to calm his friend down and not show the pain? Keef worried about him all night, second by second, fighting the desire to immediately rush to Zim, help him-anything. Then it will turn out. Keef didn't know exactly what Zim was sick with, but he was ready to do anything for him: raise money for treatment, look for donors, even give his organs if necessary. Fortunately, today Zim looks much better and cheerful, and walks more confidently. Keef sighs with relief and smiles.
One thing only saddens him – Zim again did not put on a scarf. Today it is so cold again, it snowed all night, small prickly grits poured without stopping, sweeping, freezing the city. On the streets, it still sweeps, slightly noticeably, on the legs. Keef was completely frozen, the biting wind, full of sharp ice, got him even in the shadows. And Zim goes, as if not feeling the cold, open to any bad weather. His pink jacket is too light for such a harsh winter. Keef himself is used to many things, but now he is cold and does not understand how the Zim does not freeze. Or just doesn't show it? Tears come to Keef's eyes, blurring the picture, the silhouette of Zim blurs. How bravely he stands out against the cold, how selflessly he denies himself weaknesses. Keef understands that he wants only one thing right now. Give Zim warmth. Bring him into the heat. To a warm house. Sit in front of the fireplace. Wrap him in a soft blanket. Give him a hot drink. And take him in his arms. Keef feels as if a small sun is burning inside, and his heart is pounding harder, spreading waves of pulsating heat through his body. Hug, hug, hug endlessly, until the overflowing heat of Zim envelops him, swallows him completely, lulls him to sleep. This heat can melt any ice, and no longer be afraid of any cold, you will not need to endure it, and now it will always be warm in Zim. If necessary, Keef will be ready to warm him forever. Always warm in his arms. Just thinking about it seems like the highest form of happiness.
Turn. Another turn. Keef follows Zim, but no longer sees the silhouette in front of him. It flickers and crumbles, revealing visions of bliss and bliss under a soft blanket before his mind's eye. Zim stops at a traffic light, and Keef, having got his bearings too late, stumbles and awkwardly shuffles his sole on the asphalt. Zim automatically glances over his shoulder and the next moment jumps back, screaming all over the street.
“What the fuck?! What are you doing here, scum?!”
Keef doesn't understand what he's saying. Keef does not realize what is real and what is not. In his inner empire, Zim, frozen from the cold, clings to him in search of warmth, melts in his hot embrace, so fragile and malleable. It takes Keef several endless moments to finally realize where the boundaries of reality lie. And Zim is standing right now in front of him, scared and angry. And this means that Keef was caught and the shadows did not save him.
“Have you been following Zim?” Zim is taking another step. “Answer me, you piece of human shit!”
Keef hesitantly shifts from one foot to the other.
“I... wanted to make sure you were okay after yesterday, Zim. And that you are healthy. It's so wonderful that you feel good!” Keef imperceptibly moves closer to Zim, crowding him to the roadway. “And, Zim... You forgot your scarf again today. But it's not scary! Let me run to your house right now. I'm sure your parents will give it to me,and I'll be right back.”
“Fuck you! What do you want from Zim, creature? Fuck off!!!”
“Don't be afraid, Zim, it's not difficult for me at all. I'll run away quickly. Or at least take my jacket. I'll get to school, and you're probably already cold…”
Such an assumption outrages Zim to the depth of the squeedily spooch.
“Shut up! How dare you?! Zim never freezes!”
“Yes, Zim, you are very persistent.” Keef tries to unzip the zipper, getting closer and closer. “-But you don't have to endure the cold.”
Zim recoils in disgust, sliding into the road directly under the wheels of cars rushing through the intersection. One of the cars manages to turn sharply to the side, honking deafeningly. Terrified, Zim instinctively jumps back onto the sidewalk and flies straight into Keef's arms, right between the unbuttoned sides of his jacket. The next moment, Zim feels ugly hands closing on his back and a disgusting human warmth envelops his body.
Choking on the air, Zim makes an indistinct squeak, after which he breaks out of the vile paws and pushes Keef against the wall of the nearest house.
“How dare you, you dirty human bastard?! How dare you touch Zim with your filthy arms?”
Keef is breathing heavily, unable to recover from the incident. The heart jumps out of the chest, and the space around is split by non-Euclidean multidimensionality.
“I want to help you, Zim. After all, we are best friends. You'll see, everything will be fine…”
“Fine? Fine?!” Zim is yelling at the top of his voice. “Yes, everything will be fine now, everything will be just fine now, fucking quasar in your ass, scum!”
He knocks the staggering Keef off his feet and, no longer holding back his anger, begins to bang his head on the asphalt with all his might. He spills out all the anger of the last days, all the rage that has accumulated inside, until the vile human blood sprinkles the snow, until his hands begin to ache from exertion. After that, he lets go of the unconscious carcass and exhales contentedly. He gets to his feet, dusts himself off and, calmly ignoring the puzzled looks of random passers-by, finally crosses the road. Continues the interrupted way to school. Turn. Another turn.
Keef opens his eyes and dreamily follows the indistinct pink spot floating against the white snow. Further and further with each step. Everything inside is trembling with joy.
***
“Gretchen is a D... Punch is a D... Aki is a C... Dib is a D…” Miss Bitters ' monotonous voice rang through the class like a death sentence. “I've never seen tests written so disgusting before. Congratulations, you are one step closer to not passing the certification. And do you know what happens next to those who stay for the second year? They are doomed! The road to the college is closed. They have to get by with part-time jobs: at the checkout of a miserable supermarket, in backwater eateries, at dirty car washes. Alcoholism, life on welfare, illegitimate children, mind-numbing TV shows and death in a stabbing! Zita, give your classmates their work. Let them be horrified by the ineradicable ignorance that grows in their heads.”
Barely alive with fear, Zita slowly dragged herself along the rows of desks. Although she was one of the few lucky people who managed to write on C, there was little joy from this. After her recent success, her parents expected her to get the best score in school. But the others were no less upset. They may be used to scoring a bolt for school, but it's one thing to score, reveling in impunity, and quite another when your bolt dangerously hangs over the abyss. The conversation at home this time was really serious and threatened with serious consequences.
Zim was getting madder by the second. He tapped a nervous rhythm on the desk with his claws, rolled his eyes and couldn't wait for this farce to finally end. The general loud lamentations were distracting, the concern of human larvae about grades in general seemed to be the absurd vanity of yesterday's monkeys, unable to cope even with their primitive knowledge. Zim himself solved all the tests, ticking the boxes in principle from the fool, but today school success was absolutely not included in the list of his priorities. Everything, absolutely everything, began to turn against Zim, as if the damned planet was going to tear out his last nerves.
A perfectly thought-out plan of conquest and domination, which included a Ferris wheel, an ultrasonic beacon and infecting the entire population of bats on the east coast with the virus of worship of the beautiful Zim, went to hell twice. The first time was when Zim decided to neutralize his enemy first, immobilizing him with a clever, trouble-free stunner right in bed. And let this lousy garbage watch as small winged creatures devour people, turning them into submissive zombie slaves and carriers of an incurable virus. Zombies seemed like a great idea.At least some benefit from yesterday's suffering at the blackboard. But the scoundrel Dib somehow found out about the impending attack, set a trap in the window and pretended to be asleep, as a result, Zim, who received a frame on the head, accidentally fired into the roof, hit the birds sitting there, they fell down in a hail, knocked Zim to the ground, and Dib, who came down after him, ruined the plan for the second time, saying that local bats do not feed on human blood and generally hibernate for the winter. Finally, he stole an ampoule with a virus and a stunner and quickly disappeared into the house.
Hating everything, Zim dragged himself back. Unexpectedly, the snow began to tingle unpleasantly on the skin, in turn, also did not improve the mood. It would be possible to prepare a new portion of the virus. But what to do with it next? Apply on birds? But stupid pigeons especially will not eat people. Try to treat mosquitoes? Zim imagined catching them and spraying them one by one. Or even abandon the intermediate carrier and infect people directly? To spread the Zim worship virus under the guise of a vaccine against any of the many diseases that these insignificant dead pieces of organic matter suffer from? But when Zim returned to the base, he found that all the laboratory equipment was smeared with cheese paste, the control samples were hopelessly damaged, and a Gir was playing in the aerator flask, screeching, doing acrobatic knees on the air currents and catching pieces of pepperoni flying past. The entire ingenious development was desecrated and was subject to immediate disposal.
Zim collected a few drops from the miraculously surviving test tubes and still tried to spray and seal at least a couple of people who were carelessly wandering the streets in the middle of the night. But for some reason, instead of obsequiously prostrating themselves before their incomparable new master, these freaks rushed to embrace him, carrying some strange nonsense, from one, especially annoying, Zim barely escaped. Meanwhile, the snowfall was getting worse, the wind was getting stronger, and being in the open air began to turn into a real punishment. The treacherous earth water did not give rest even in winter. Cursing the stupid weather and people who were out of control in their madness, Zim hurried home, where he devoted the rest of the night to the fascinating process of scraping cheese, sausage, whipped cream and the Gir that was tightly stuck in this mess from the most complex aggregates consisting of many small parts, each of which had to be washed and re-sterilized.
By morning, Zim couldn't feel his fingers and was so tired that he just wanted to fall down and not get up for several days, but no, he had to go back to hell for human cubs and look at Dib's malicious face there. Exhausted to the limit and suffering from the residual cheese ambre, Zim was ready to finish off his enemy with his bare hands. Bastard, he also stole a stunner. Zim doesn’t care about the failed virus, but the stunner is inviolable. It is decided that the bastard Dib must die-no matter what, he did not deserve an elegant punishment. And, taking a small jar from the laboratory supplies, Zim moved to school. Well, at least the snowstorm was over, but the problems were not going to end. Halfway there, it turned out that Keef had been following him all this time, brazenly staring, spying, insulting the honor of the invader and even going to break right into the base under a ridiculous pretext! The red-haired scarecrow crossed all boundaries, as a result, the already overwrought Zim broke down, taking out on him all the evil that was tearing apart and the resentment rotting inside – on Dib, on Gir, on this disgusting planet and its nauseating inhabitants.Zim was a little annoyed that he had lost control of himself in a crowded place, but after smearing Keef's face on the rough concrete, he felt much better. If only this annoying worm would also die – in one day Zim would get rid of two sources of problems at once. But what was his surprise when, just before the bell, Keef, as if nothing had happened, came to class, and only a huge bruise on the entire cheek hinted that this head had recently been beaten like a nut and rubbed on a fine cement grater.
Exhausted from boredom and impatience, Zim somehow waited for the lunch break. He was going to show up in the cafeteria, poke around in the food for show, and then quietly return to class. And such a chance soon presented itself, when everyone's attention was very successfully focused on Willie, who was doused with soda. Zim was already preparing to disappear under the noise, but everything went wrong again.
A cheerful voice rang out overhead:
“Bon appetit, Zim!”
Keef plopped down on the bench next to him, happy and not shutting up for a second.
“You won't mind if we have lunch together today, as best friends, will you?”
Zim really wanted to say that it would be, and in general, Keef would go to hell, but he did not give a word to insert
“You know, Zim, you hit me so well this morning, just like in those movies where friends first get into a fight, and then become even bigger friends and begin to really trust each other!”
“What?!”
Zim stared at him dumbfounded and noticed that the disgusting bruise seemed to have shrunk in size. But there was no time to think about it, because wet Willie stopped screaming and everyone began to lose interest in him.
“It was fun!” Keef persisted. “Listen, Zim, let's go learn some martial arts! Karate, for example. I saw that courses were open nearby…”
“How dare you, you beast?!” Zim exploded, seeing that the favorable moment was finally lost. “Well, never mind, sooner or later you'll die too!”
But Keef interpreted everything in his own way.
“Oh, sorry, Zim. I meant, of course, if your health allows you. If it's going to be hard for you, then it's better not to. But don't worry, there are so many ways to spend time together. We can go to the circus. Let's go to the circus, Zim? They say that there is an interesting program there, there will be various trained animals, elephants, lions…”
Keef didn't realize what he was saying. Words flowed by themselves in an endless stream, as if from parallel layers of consciousness, thoughts were confused. His field of vision narrowed to a single person right in front of him. Close. So close that Keef could have taken him in his arms again. Just like this morning. Just like in his innermost dreams. Just thinking about it made his heart melt like jelly in the sun. Keef was happier than ever. During these three days, he spent so much time with Zim, so close, very close, Zim accepted his help, Zim allowed himself not to hide his weakness, Zim let him into his life. Now everything will be different. Keef will prove that he really is the best friend. He will be better than any friend. He can become more than a friend. He can become anything Zim wants.
Only another disgruntled cry could bring him to his senses a little.
“Get out with your circus! And perform in it! Leave Zim alone!”
“That would probably be nice, but I'm so clumsy, Zim. And they will only take me to feed the animals. By the way, Zim, why don't you eat anything? Today it's pasta. Do you like pasta?”
“I hate it! Fuck you!”
“Yes?” Keef was genuinely surprised, “I thought everyone liked pasta.”
Zim was taken aback for a moment-out of old habit, when he was caught on non-compliance with earthly standards and had to get out of it urgently. But then I remembered that Keef was not worthy of trying so hard for him. However, it was already too late. That second was enough for Keef to grab his arm and get almost close to him.
“Well, don't worry, Zim. It doesn't matter. We will definitely find something that you will like. You must eat well, this is important for your illness, you can not starve yourself, you will weaken.”
Zim shuddered with disgust. This human stub is completely insolent! Not without difficulty, Zim fell out from behind the table and shouted:
“My disease does not want food! It wants to vomit! In the toilet!” Just in case, he clarified, so that no one would think to look for him in the classroom, where he ran as fast as he could until recess was over.
“All right, Zim. I'll put your tray away”, Keef spoke after him and imperceptibly put in his pocket the bent fork that Zim had been holding in his fingers until recently.
The alien flew like lightning to an empty classroom and rushed to Dib's desk. It's time for retribution! There was not much time left, very soon everyone would be pulling back from the dining room, and it was necessary to prepare everything before that moment. Taking out the cherished jar from the pack, Zim tried to shake its contents out, but it turned out to be too thick and it resolutely refused to drip. Cursing, Zim armed himself with a paint brush from his classroom supplies and began to smear the whitish stuff on the countertop. The stuff was smeared badly, the brush began to rapidly go bald, but there was no time to pay attention to such trifles. Precious seconds were slipping away one after another. Quietly. Patience, just patience. A few more minutes will pass – and revenge will be accomplished. It will be enough for Dib to touch the poison with at least one palm – and that's it, it will penetrate into the blood, destroy the brain and organs! The hated enemy will die in terrible convulsions, and no one will suspect anything! Anticipating the victory, Zim burst into a sinister laugh.
“What are you doing here, Zim?!” Miss Bitters ' voice cut like a saw through the auditory nerves.
Terrified, Zim jumped back, hiding his hands behind his back.
“I…” – no clear explanation came to mind. “-Backpack. Zim forgot his backpack!”
“Your backpack is on your back!”
“This is a different backpack!”
“Why are you looking for it under Dib's desk?” The damned teacher was getting more and more annoyed. “What are you hiding there? Do you have any idea, Zim, how tired I am of your showdowns, which constantly end in damage to school property?! If you're up to something again…”
–“Zim is not up to anything!” The alien screamed in panic. “Zim is the most harmless human larva!”
And the next moment, Zim couldn't believe his eyes – Dib himself barged into the classroom. It was fatal bad luck. The surprise factor was missed. The last thing left was not to let this bastard suspect anything, he had to sit down at his desk at all costs.
“Dib”, Miss Bitters clearly had a different opinion, “I think Zim wants to tell you something.”
“Zim doesn't want to!” Zim looked from her to Dib, who was grinning nastily. “Zim is absolutely not up to anything! Zim is normal! Normal!”
And then, behind him, a desk collapsed to the floor with a guttural chwak, spreading out on the floor in a bubbling green puddle.
Dib screamed in mock horror:
“It was my favorite desk!”
Miss Bitters ' eyes flashed with the fire of hell.
“Dib, stop the clowning immediately! And you, Zim... This time you've crossed all the boundaries!”
“No!” Zim screamed, crawling back to the board. “It's not me! I was framed!”
“You were the only one in the class!”
“You're all lying!” Forgetting about the brush, Zim waved his hands, and it’s melted stalk appeared for everyone to see.
Classmates were already pulling up to the classroom with might and main and other children were looking in, intrigued by such an enchanting scandal. Zim was chaotically trying to figure out how to get away, and he couldn't. He was burned on the hot, the plan is revealed, Dib is alive, the crowd of scum shamelessly laughs, enjoying the spectacle. Zim would like to kill them all on the spot, but even this will not work. And the enraged teacher hisses a gigantic cobra:
“After school – to the director!!!”
Unable to withstand this nightmare, Zim took off and really rushed to the toilet to vomit. From nerves. All the recent nightmares and disappointments, the stresses and human abominations experienced, coupled with a night full of cheese, turned him inside out. Zim consoled himself only with the fact that at least there would be no witnesses to his shame, however, the first thing he saw when he got out of the stinking booth was Keef, nervously shifting in the corner by the sink.
“Zim! How are you feeling?” immediately he rushed to meet him. “Are you feeling better now? You need a drink. Let me help you get to class. Zim, where are you going?”
But Zim, who had sidled to the door, was already rushing away, away from this crazy, talkative brat.
The rest of the school day did not bring relief. Everyone was whispering behind his back, Dib was brazenly turning up his nose, sitting at a brand-new desk, and Miss Bitters was so boring Zim with a look full of darkness that it became uneasy. After school, she grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him to the director's office. And while Zim was waiting for him to be called to the execution, Dib allegedly accidentally defiled back and forth along the corridor, getting more and more angry, until finally he leaned against the wall next to him and said maliciously
“And, by the way, I looked at your zombie virus here at my leisure. Not baaad! Not bad at all... for a love potion!”
Guffawing, he rode off into the distance. Zim was about to rush after him, but at that moment the office doors opened and Zim was dragged onto the director's carpet, where they arranged a first-class dressing down for inappropriate behavior, for fights, and for damage to state property, from the front stairs to the last compass, promising to put everything in a personal file. They went through today's desk separately, and when Zim reminded us that yesterday Torque also broke the desk and there was nothing for him for it, the head teacher barked that this was an isolated case and in general Mr. Smacky was the sports pride of the school, and Zim had no such merits and the education system was zero benefit from him. Some losses. Zim was habitually outraged by the impudence of the torn earthly scraps of flesh, as a result, the director said that he was tired of this performance and the school was suing the Zim family with a demand to compensate for all the damage caused to the meager state property. For all these years – a very considerable one, I must say.
Angry as hell, Zim stormed out of the office, slamming the door, and bumped into Keef, who was spinning right there in the corridor.
“Oh, Zim, you've been so long. I was waiting for you outside, but they told me you were here.”
Zim hiccupped nervously and tried to run away, but the red-haired scarecrow again followed him.
“Don't worry so much, our director is easy-going.” Keef decided that Zim was upset by the scolding he had received, which meant that he needed to console him.
Zim ran as fast as he could, shaking with rage and irritation. It seemed to Keef that Zim was crying and did not want to show it.
“Well, don't be discouraged, Zim, everyone is called to him sooner or later. You'll see, everything will work out.”
Breaking through the eternal crowd on the porch, Zim broke out of the school, only to hear the annoying lamentations again a moment later.
“Are you all right, Zim? Are you sure you're feeling okay? You're shaking all over.”
Zim ran faster down the street.
“Zim, wait! You're going to freeze! At least take my scarf.”
Turn.
“Miss Bitters was particularly angry today. But I'm sure she'll calm down by Monday.”
Another turn. Run, run!
“Finally, you've cheered up, Zim! You know, I came up with a great idea. Let's always have lunch together now! We had a great time today for friendly conversations.”
Zim silently cursed every traffic light in his path.
“So, Zim, how would you like to go to the circus? I promise, it will be fun there.”
“I wish you'd been run over by a car…”
“Oh, Zim, you scared me so much this morning when you almost got hit by a car! I always knew that this transition is not safe, we should file a petition to equip it... Wait, Zim!”
Turn. Faster!
“Zim, do you have any plans for the weekend?”
“Yes, there is! Don't get into them, you jerk!”
Zim ran as fast as he could, panting from the exertion. Keef was still not a step behind and kept talking non-stop.
“I could come to visit you, bring some board game. Do you like monopoly?”
“No! Leave Zim! Zim wants to go home!”
“Zim, here's your house, we've already come.”
Only now the alien saw that the alley was left behind, and the outlines of his native base were green before his eyes. He ran as fast as he could past the dwarves, but before he could, Keef intercepted him at the very entrance.
“Zim, I'm worried about your health. You might catch a cold if you don't wear a scarf.”
“Shut up, you idiot! Zim is not afraid of the cold! Zim is not afraid of anything!”
Then Gir looked out, intrigued by the stormy scenes on the porch. Zim tried to sneak around Keef, but again he failed.
“If the scarf is torn – it's not scary. I'll knit you a new one, just tell me. Or was it taken away from you? Or maybe your puppy ate it?”
“You half-wit piece! Gir doesn't eat scarves!”
“Gir eats tacos!”
“Tacos?” Keef was distracted for a moment, and Zim, taking advantage of the chance, immediately ducked inside.
Only after slamming the door and sliding down it to the floor, Zim allowed himself to catch his breath, ignoring the annoying whining still coming from the porch. How dare this crazy bastard drive him like this? Even PAK couldn't cope with the backup oxygen supply. A brilliant idea instantly flashed through his head! And what if we bring down a suffocating punishment on all of humanity? Let the insignificant creatures suffer! Zim will evaporate the Earth's atmosphere, and it will not be difficult at all – the key circuits of the device have already appeared before your eyes as if live. This time the victory is guaranteed!
***
Shortly after dusk, the doors of the small green house opened, releasing Zim in an embrace with a ready-made radiator, sparkling with chrome details and topped with a parabolic diffuser. Bending under the weight of the unit, Zim backed across the lawn, and behind him stretched long wires that went into the bowels of the base.
“Gir, hurry up! Where have you been? I can't wait to use my beautiful unsurpassed vaporizer!”
“I'm here, master!” Gir jumped out after him, almost getting tangled in the wires.
“Be careful, you piece of iron! Now you will witness the triumphant genius of Zim! When the earthlings lose their stinking gas, this lump of dirt will become ours!”
And the next moment Zim came across something sticking out right in the middle of his lawn. With a feeling of foreboding, he slowly raised his eyes up. Keef was standing in front of him. Happy to the point of disgust, a smile from ear to ear, and the bruise on his face seemed to have become even paler.
“Hello, Zim! Did you go to play? Can I come with you?”
What?..
“Zim, have you changed your mind about the circus?”
What?
“I brought a taco for your dog!”
What?!
Without uttering a sound, Zim turned around and slowly turned back into the house, winding up the wires as he went. Gir followed at the last second, treacherously slurping juicy, smelly meat.
“Zim, where are you going? Let's go for a walk. Just don't forget to wear a scarf! Zim, I'll be waiting for you!”
A quiet, overcast evening descends on the city, darkness creeps along its alleys, deepening the shadows. Zim looks out of the window of a small green house with concentration. He warily drills the alley with his eyes, preparing to hide under the protection of the wall at any second, hide in the pantry, dive under the window sill. After making sure that everything is calm in the visible space, he quickly runs out of the house and throws a pink scarf into the nearest trash can. The long ends that have flown into the air roll out on the asphalt, Zim yells at them, rakes them into a pile and pushes them back into the disgusting interior of the garbage dump. After slamming the lid several times, Zim kicks the container and rushes back into the house, nervously turning around as he goes.
Keef comes silently out of the shadow swirling by the neighboring house. It manifests itself like a negative that takes on the contours of a person. Panting with excitement, he approaches the trash can and takes out a scarf from it. Endless coils of pink wool flow to his feet, but Keef does not pay attention to this. With a groan, he buries his face in a dirty scarf, not believing his luck. This scarf belonged to Zim, it was lying at Zim's house, Zim owned it, Zim wore it, touched it. Keef feels a faint smell of Zim on it. And now Zim is giving this treasure to Keef, giving it with his own hands. This is the best gift you can imagine.
Keef walks unsteadily away, the ends of the scarf sliding along the ground behind him, and the night sky above is covered with a shimmering web of pitch darkness.