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The battle had been raging for hours. Bursts of magic and the sounds of metal hitting burned flesh rang throughout Alfea’s grounds. The moonlight shone down on students, soldiers, and monsters alike, illuminating their torn clothes and determined faces.
Farah hated it.
This had been her life for decades. A student turned soldier, forced to train and fight for a war that had nothing to do with her but everything to do with the world around her. She’d done her best over the years to ensure that this would never happen to the students that followed her. As she turned on the spot, hands ready to erect a barrier around her, she scanned her surroundings. The students around her were fierce, working in tandem with each other, and she was seized by a mixture of pride and regret. They’d trained them well, but she’d hoped their students would never have to face what they had.
Them. Her best friends, her family. Where was Saul? Where was Ben? She’d been by their side when the battle began, as their plan had ordered, but they’d split and now she’d lost sight of him. There was a heavy weight on her chest, the feeling of uncertainty, and as she ran through the battle she couldn’t help but think what a terrible mistake their plan had been.
She’d seen the protest in Saul’s eyes when she’d told him to go help Ben. Farah was his fairy, not Ben, and as much as Saul loved their friend she knew that he wanted to be by her side. But it was because she trusted him so much that she’d sent him to protect the other side. She could handle herself.
But now, a battlefield away, she regretted not keeping them with her. They’d been trained with each other, fighting side by side, and a part of her felt rather empty as she made her way through the field, watching her students fight the creatures that had plagued their grounds for decades.
The Burned Ones were fiercer, but her students even more so. They fought admirably, in their assigned teams, and the Headmistress was able to make her way safely (and relatively unbothered) to the other side of the field. Farah breathed a sigh of relief as she finally caught sight of their familiar figures. She blinked after the image registered in her brain, because her eyes must’ve been playing tricks on her.
Saul was there, he was lying in Ben’s lap, and he wasn’t moving.
He wasn’t moving.
Her chest suddenly seized up, and she was moving before she felt herself stand up. The mind fairy ran towards the two people who meant more than the world to her, heartbeat thundering in her ears, eyes scanning desperately for any sign of movement from the dark-haired man she had stood with for years. Everything was chaos, she reasoned. He could’ve moved and she wouldn’t have seen it, dodging enemies and blows as she made her way to her Specialist and their best friend. They had to be okay. Everything would be okay. They could win.
Farah didn’t reach them in time. She was running, she tried her hardest, and she didn’t reach them in time.
Ben was yelling something, but she wasn't listening, because there was a sudden roaring in her ears and she couldn’t let herself get stupidly injured. When she was finally able to look back at her two friends, she saw a mess of roots, vines, and leaves beginning to cocoon the spot where both of them were. Ben was creating a defensive little shelter for them. The tactician in her screamed that it was better to leave them, turn away, keep fighting and defend the cocoon Ben had put them in.
But she needed to know if Saul was okay. Dread and worry had pooled in her stomach and lodged there, and she wouldn’t return her attention to the battle until she knew Saul was alright. Saul, Saul, Saul.
She finally reached the little shelter Ben had made. Farah was aware she wouldn’t be able to penetrate it-- she thanked the gods for Ben’s powerful earth magic-- but she could still try to connect to the inside and see if they were alive and unharmed. She put a hand on the outer vines, reaching into the depths of her magic to look for the familiar, warm feelings of her family. Ben’s came up, powerful but afraid, his nerves frayed more than ever before.
But his sadness felt wider than the largest ocean, and she could almost feel the tears streaming down his cheeks. Ben was sad. Why was he sad? Farah reached further in, still looking for Saul.
She couldn’t feel him.
Her magic abruptly failed, physically pushing her a few steps away from the cocoon. The Headmistress stood there for a few moments, feeling her entire world spin. She reached out again, and was again forced back. Without a second thought, Farah reached out for the bond that had connected her to her Specialist for more than three decades. She knew what he felt like; everything was warm, familiar, safe, comfortable. It was a trusting, fulfilled feeling that connected them. She would find it and everything would be fine. He would be fine.
The bond was silent. She felt nothing.
Farah Dowling knew what it was like to feel pain, and she knew what it was like to feel others’ pain. She knew what she felt when Saul was stabbed, or punched, or sick to his stomach after too much drinking at that damned kegger. She had felt his joy and his sadness, his fear and his worry, his peacefulness and his care. She knew the sound of his pleasure and the depth of his love. Those feelings had always been there, a part of him always in her mind. Eventually, both of them had gotten used to their connection, and had come to appreciate the familiarity in each other. Farah had always relished in the fact that she had a piece of him with her wherever she went.
But there was nothing now. Cold, empty, nothing.
The Headmistress felt herself fall to her knees, letting out a strangled cry full of feelings she couldn’t even understand. Her trembling hands reached up to tangle in her disheveled hair, her chest heaving, breaking open, as she tried to process what exactly this could mean. Maybe he was just sleeping, maybe Ben had sedated him with his magic, maybe… maybe she hadn’t tried hard enough to reach him. She reached out her magic again, and again, and again, until all she could feel was her own agony blooming in her chest.
Her throat clenched as she let out a little whimper. This couldn’t be it. He couldn’t be gone. Saul would always be there, he had told her, he had promised, he had been her protector and her best friend and her lover and they would grow old together and-
Screams brought her back to the battlefield, to her-their school, and to the students that were fighting so bravely for their future. Farah’s eyes widened as she saw the Burned Ones closing in on a group of Specialists. Her reaction was purely instinctual, throwing out a hand and letting herself feel, and it felt like a torrent of fire exploding from her chest. Real fire roared in front of her, causing the monsters to redirect their attention to the mind fairy.
Her soldier instincts fell right back into place as she perceived a monster running at her. Her eyes flashed, the magic running through her as smoothly as water, as she blasted it with a wave of telekinetic energy. It flew to the side hard, hitting a tree and sliding down to land on the ground. The second Burned One soon followed. It allowed the three Specialist students enough time to pick themselves back up and run towards the monsters, sinking their swords into the exposed cinders. The beasts no longer moved.
Farah turned, looking out at the rest of the battlefield. She’d protected her students. She had succeeded.. The Headmistress ignored the way her hands shook and tried to catch her breath, the pain taking a backseat in her mind as her focus returned to the battle. Her eyes scanned the field for one figure that she knew would be nearby.
Rosalind.
She stood like a general, hands folded behind her back, silently telling Farah that she wasn’t bringing herself low enough to fight in this battle. There had to be some sort of barriers around her, because not a single soldier had tried to approach her. She was letting the Burned Ones fight for her, her arrogance fully on display. Farah silently cursed herself for not going after her sooner. But now she made her way towards her old mentor, on the outskirts of the field, keeping an eye out in case her students needed her help.
She was just about to reach Rosalind when she spotted a fairy fall to the ground, a Burned One inches away from her neck. The Headmistress’s eyes flashed as she kneeled to the ground quickly, focusing on the water running through the ground below her. She collected as much as she could and pushed it in a stream towards the monster, forcing it off of the girl. While it was recovering, her hand clenched into a fist, weaving her magic through the beast. Its cinder promptly flickered and burned brightly. It fell to the ground, dead.
Farah’s focus returned to the girl, who was still catching her breath. “Are you alright?” She angled her student so she was farther from the field, taking a moment to look at her. She recognized the fourth year from one of her runes classes. It struck her again in that moment just how brave these students were, fighting for their school without a second thought. She hoped she’d been kind enough with them. She never wanted their experience to be like hers. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
A burst of electricity shot by her, barely missing the girl, and her head snapped up immediately. Another one flew directly at her, and Farah flicked her hand up to erect a quick barrier. The bolt was deflected. Rosalind stood in the direction it had come from, a wicked gleam in her eyes that made Farah’s stomach turn with distaste. Fucking Rosalind.
“Go. Quickly.” The student hesitated before running, and Farah was warmed by the devotion that gesture contained. But the fairy quickly ran back towards the direction of the group she’d been separated from. Towards safety.
Farah’s eyes, as hard and cold as steel, turned to Rosalind. Her old mentor opened her mouth to speak. The flash of blue was blinding as the mind fairy finally let herself go.
She had never channeled this much magic before, and she could feel the buildup prickling underneath her skin. It flowed through each of her fingers and toes, up to her shoulders, her hips, her chest, the top of her head. Farah looked down at her shaking hands, surprised to see the faint glow emanating from them. She let out a shuddering breath, turning her gaze back to the air fairy she hated more than she ever thought possible. Rosalind looked… surprised, awed, intrigued. But not afraid.
Farah decided she would make her afraid.
The world went quiet for a moment. She could hear her heartbeat ringing in her ears, could hear the heaviness of her own breaths, and the faint crackling of magic that had filled the air. It was… peaceful, in a way. She lost herself in this serenity, relishing in the pure reserves she currently held at the tips of her fingers. Farah reached out with the slightest, softest hint of her magic, wanting to tell Saul all about-
Oh. Saul.
Her throat felt dryer than sand as she swallowed. The memory of that empty bond flooded her, drowned her, made her want to scream. Her eyes traveled back to Rosalind, who seemed to be moving in slow motion, summoning her own powers. Farah straightened her posture and narrowed her eyes, pushing away the lump in her throat. There was one reason that Saul wasn’t there with her right now; there was one reason her Specialist was gone. And it was all because of this woman who stood before her, smug and curious and power-hungry and cruel.
And suddenly, everything exploded in a violent cacophony of raw power.
She was a terrifying, mesmerizing display of magic. Or at least, that’s what the stories would say.
To Farah, it felt like a dream. She was entranced by the glowing tendrils of magic floating all around her, a beautiful light shade of blue, almost white or silver. It was like she was surrounded by her own power, spinning and twirling around her like ribbons. Every part of her body was warm, verging on the edge of hot. Her back felt like it was on fire. She inhaled and almost choked at how tight her chest was, and when she looked down she realized she was floating off the ground.
The dream turned into a nightmare quickly. She scrambled for her footing, for something to hold, the panic beginning to rise in her. Multiple beams of energy left her, aimed towards things she couldn’t see, each one sending a tremor through her body. Magic crackled in the air, around her, consuming her, and in the back of her mind Farah realized that this is what Rosalind had been after all these years. This was her full power, her energy released and palpable around them. But where was Rosalind now? She couldn’t see anything. The magic was quickly fading, a blurry and dark world spinning around her. Farah let out a shaky breath as she felt herself fall.
The pain, running through her entire body, hit her right after she’d returned to the ground. Her anguished scream echoed throughout the field as she fell to her knees, gasping for air. She covered her mouth as she realized the noise that had escaped her, but nobody’s attention was on her.
Her students’ faces, the ones she could see in the moonlight, were ashen as they stared at the bodies littering the ground. All of the Burned Ones lay dead, white-blue magic still flickering from their dead, burned out cinders. Hazel eyes kept scanning the field, looking for someone unconsciously, her exhausted body still rigid and ready to fight. She finally found who she was looking for, a body on its side, the familiar jacket from decades ago torn and mangled.
Rosalind was dead.
The world was still again. The students and soldiers around her were stumbling, collecting their wounded and stunned at the display that had just happened before their eyes. A few cries rose in the air, the grief after a battle that was all too familiar to Farah, and they began picking themselves up right after she did. Her perfect updo from that morning was a mess, her clothes were dirty, her body was trembling and her mind was hazy with pain.
But Farah’s mind immediately went to her family, her best friends, the men that had been by her side for decades. Ben. Saul. She’d left them there, alone, and although the mind fairy would never doubt her friends’ magic she knew that Ben’s pain was almost visible with how intense it was. How could she have left them alone? And Saul…
No one interrupted her. No one dared. Their Headmistress was stumbling towards the cocoon of twisted vines and branches, breaking down, and all they could do was watch as the magic seemed to dissipate from her and she fell to her knees.
Saul was lying on the ground, Ben sitting next to him with a haunted look she hadn’t seen in decades. For a moment, she didn’t care about their school, the students, or the bodies they’d have to take care of. There was a gaping hole in her chest that would never again be filled.
“Farah… Gods, Farah!” Ben’s words fell on deaf ears as she crawled towards her Specialist, her gaze solely on him. The earth fairy tried to pull her back, to examine her wounds and bleeding, but she pulled away with more strength than he thought she’d have. Her only need right now was to be next to the man who had loved her with everything he had.
Farah couldn’t feel the tears on her cheeks, everything was numb, but sobs still escaped her as she cupped his face with her trembling hands. His pink lips were dry, and he had a cut near his eyebrow that was still oozing with specks of blood. She wiped the blood away as much as she could, staining her hands, silently cursing her magic for leaving when she wanted to use it most.
“Oh, Saul…” She whispered brokenly, leaning her head forward to rest on his chest. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream and yell and curse everyone she could until her voice was raw and gone. But she couldn’t. There were still students who were wandering the battlefield, there were still lessons to plan, lectures to give, and people to protect. There was still Ben, silently crying behind her. There were still Sam and Terra, and Sky, oh gods, Sky, and she had to keep going.
No more morning visits from the man who had memorized her favorite tea, no more lunches with Ben as they laughed about the students’ recent adventures. No more late night talks, whispers in the dark, about their deepest fears and broken promises. There would be no more sitting together during the day of the kegger, reminiscing about their school years. She would sleep alone at night, tangled in cold sheets. There would be books she would read, songs she would hear, memories she’d make, without the man she loved by her side.
She would have to do it all without him.
It felt wrong to feel his body so cold under her fingertips. She used to tease him about being a blanket hog, citing all the times he would roll away from her and take all the blankets of their shared bed, leaving her shivering and desperately moving closer to him. It warmed and broke her heart to think about those moments.
Her body seemed to sag, and she vaguely registered Ben reaching for her, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. But she was fine. She just wanted to lay with him.
Although she was sure he couldn’t feel her, Farah was careful as she stretched herself out by his side. It was cold, the ground was tough and uncomfortable, but she couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Her fingers gently ran through his hair, and she brushed away every tear that landed on his skin. She pressed a gentle kiss to the side of his head, letting her body relax.
Her eyes closed, her body curled into her Specialist as much as she could. Her last thoughts were of him, and she wondered if the light squeeze she felt on her hand had just been wishful thinking.