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Dabi was busy throwing his phone onto the bar top, frustrated with yet another unanswered text, when Toga’s quiet, shaking voice caught his attention.
“Dabi?” He turns around immediately to see what had her so upset, but in the end his eyes never landed on the girl before the screen caught his attention.
It's just a news channel.
He doesn’t know why the news is on. The TV was never used for cable, who the hell watches cable?
Who the hell actually watches the news?
Dabi breath shakes his entire body when he exhales but he can’t look away. Can’t take his eyes off the bright red wings on the screen splayed behind a bright, smiling face. Can’t take his eyes off the headline sprawling across the screen in bold text.
Honoring a Hero – Winged Hero: Hawks found dead
What does that mean? Why would they show that?
Hawks? His Hawks?
“The former #2 pro hero was found in Mohato Woods, three days after a minor incident in the location was reported by the #1 pro hero, Endeavor. Given the timing, authorities have labeled the League of Villains as prime suspect.”
Dabi stares at the unmoving, smiling face plastered onto the corner of the screen.
“Hawks’ agency has released a statement saying they will remain in operation until after the hero’s birthday, two months from now, as a show of respect for its founder.”
What's happening?
“He- I thought. I thought he was okay. It was just a nomu, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it just a nomu? He didn't say he-” Dabi registers Spinner’s senseless rambling but can’t piece his thoughts together enough to form a response.
Compress says nothing. Dabi could see the shaking of the arm propping up his chin nonetheless. He doesn’t even know where Toga disappeared to, or when.
“Police were able to determine the hero passed from injuries sustained during a fight, but the details are being kept private.”
Dabi is out of the main room and on his knees in the bathroom, dry heaving, before he can even take another breath.
Dabi quietly watches Endeavor weakly throw his fist up into the air for the cameras. People cheer for him, excited despite how close the battle was.
Endeavor is swaying on his feet, blood dripping down heavily. The hero is barely standing.
The fight is very, very close to where the League of Villain’s hideout was.
Dabi’s lips curl in disgust as the viewers cry out, thanking him for his protection. For his help.
It’s your fault
Dabi has to physically bite his tongue to stop himself from spitting the words at the screen.
Endeavor drops his fist and allows support heroes to bring him to EMTs; a clear tell of how weak he was at the moment.
Dabi stands up and strides for the door, determined.
The arsonist shoves his hands in his pockets and ducks his head, heading straight for one place, and one place only.
When he steps into the flower shop, the owner greets him with a sad smile. She had long ago grown used to seeing the villain in her shop. Dabi picks up a bundle or purple hyacinths and places it on the counter. She knows not to bag them and had long ago given up on attempting to give them to the villain for free.
Hawks would want him to pay for them. The irritating fuck.
After he’s paid, the walk to the cemetery isn’t much longer. He doesn’t like going in the middle of the day, but with the battle so nearby it was unlikely too many people would be mingling around.
When he reaches his destination, he drops to his knees in front of the clean marble.
All heroes who died in the line of duty had a gravestone adorning their hero name in some fancy lot in an uptight city.
Dabi never went there, he never wanted to. Typically, family would have to take care of a hero’s private gravestone themselves. There was no one to get a stone for Takami Keigo, so Dabi did it himself.
The villain reaches up and rubs his thumb against a spot of dirt in the upper corner. He would have to bring the brush next time. He collects the old flowers, plucking off the healthy petals and letting them flutter onto the grass around the grave before laying the new flowers in front of it.
Footsteps behind him make him tense significantly. He isn’t wearing any disguise right now.
Not here. Not this place.
“So you’re the one who always leaves him flowers, Dabi.”
When nothing else is said, Dabi slowly turns to look behind him to see Hawks’ old intern there. The kids look fits the atmosphere of the graveyard. He turns away again.
“You could count the number of people who know his real name on one hand. When I went to handle his personal grave, I was shocked to be told one had already been ordered for that name and timeline. Never thought it would be you.”
Dabi still says nothing, just adjusts the flowers so the don’t cover up any of the lettering.
“The League didn’t kill him, did they?”
Dabi can’t hold back a humorless bark of laughter. “Yes, we did. In any sense that actually matters. It was our beast that cut him open in the end. Does that ruin whatever you expected this to turn into?" Dabi grins, and enjoys the ache of the pull.
There’s a moment of silence but the kid doesn’t jump him. He still seems to notice his tension, however. “I’m not going to do anything here. You’re leaving him flowers. I just want to know.”
Dabi ducks his head, squeezes his eyes shut and fists his hands into the grass to ground himself. Of course Hawks would pick an intern that was willing to hear a villain out. “I guess his secrets don't fucking matter anymore, do they? He had a mission to infiltrate the League. We knew, and he knew we knew, but we all just let it play out anyway. Everyone was getting a little attached, I guess.”
Dabi takes a deep breath. The League never talked about it, and Dabi never brought it up. He’s never told anyone else about what happened that night. Speaking it into the world is a different kind of anguish. “He was there, in the woods with us. I saw Endeavor and I wanted to kill him, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it alone. Hawks ran into a nomu the Doctor created for him and told all of us he needed backup. I told them that I needed help with Endeavor instead. I wouldn’t listen to him.” Dirt gets under his nails as he digs his hands in harder. “He wouldn’t respond later, I thought, we thought, he was mad. Turns out, he was actually bleeding out in the snow from the gaping hole in his side while his broken leg stopped him from moving at all.”
Dabi finally lets go of the ground to rub at the building pressure in his eyes.
“He died. Alone and in pain.” Dabi’s voice cracks horribly. “Suffering in the cold and knowing we abandoned him. He hated the cold.”
“Dabi-“
“The only fucking man I ever truly, truly, cared about died alone in a pool of his own blood because that night I chose Todoroki Enji over him. So, every time I want to kill Enji, every time I have the opportunity to kill him, I go to that stupid flower shop and get these stupid flowers.” Dabi drops his hand from his face to skim his fingers over the letters.
“I didn’t choose Keigo when it really mattered, but I’m going to choose him for the rest of my fucking life.”
The cemetery is silent for a long, long time before the training hero speaks again. He, too, sounds like he’s fighting tears. “I think he would like the flowers.” Dabi can’t hold in a dry sob at the words. “But I know he would forgive you.”
Dabi hated that.
He hated that, so, so, fucking much.
Because the kid was right. Dabi knew Hawks would be able to let this go. He knew Hawks would give him that sad smile he gives everyone who hurts him. Would offer a comforting touch and a gleam in his eyes that anyone would feel indebted to.
Because Takami Keigo was too soft, too caring, too forgiving despite his line of work. At his core, he was just a perplexing man. The edge of his blade was cruel but his eyes never stopped searching for another path. Because he didn’t just believe in something as black and white as second chances; he believed in fucking up over and over and over until you got it right. If someone would take his hand, he'd always give it. In his eyes, no one was ever too far gone. No one was ever truly damned.
Dabi knows Keigo would have always forgiven him.
He just doesn't know if he can do the same.