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Hawks squeezes his eyes shut when he feels Dabi shift under him. No doubt the villain heard his pathetic attempts to suppress his sobs and was trying to check him out. “You crying, Birdy?” The question was more rhetoric, Hawks knew he had tear tracks staining his cheeks.
“No.” He mutters into his white shirt, sounding more like a child than the #2 pro hero.
Cool fingertips trail lightly over his cheek, following the path of his tears down to his jaw. He wipes away the lingering moisture with his thumb and then drags said thumb over Hawks’ bottom lip. His tongue swipes across the saltiness, brushing the villain’s thumb in the process.
“Yeah you are.” Dabi’s voice is quiet, incredibly soft.
Hawks’ breath stutters and his chest hiccups with it. Another tear escapes and Dabi lets this one fall.
“What’s going on?” The villains voice is gentle, but full of concern and Hawks really, really, cannot deal with this right now.
Because he’s done lying.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
Dabi’s hand pauses, withdrawing from Hawks’ face. The hero darts out with his own hand, catching it and tangling their fingers together. He pulls it back, pressing their hands into his sternum. The contact grounds him.
This time, Dabi is hesitant and unsure. “Hawks?”
“Keigo.” Hawks sobs out. “My fucking name is Takami Keigo and I can’t do this.”
“Keigo.” Dabi says his name like he wants to know how it tastes rolling across his tongue. “Do what, Keigo?”
Hawks turns his head so his face is pressed into Dabi’s side. So the world is quiet and there’s nothing beyond the two of them. “You already know. I know you do; you knew from the start.”
The dark room is silent for a long moment and Hawks focuses on nothing but the weight of Dabi’s hand over his heart and how the rhythm of his breathing bobs his head up and down along with his chest.
Dabi never trusted him regarding going turncoat, but he trusted his love and Hawks trusted his. Even knowing that, admitting it to his face like this; Hawks waited for heat. He waited for pain and fire.
Instead, he got a hand winding through his feathers. The sensation of warm pressure rubbing the stress and tension from his wings only renews his sobbing.
“I’m the #2 hero, the youngest to ever break Top Ten, fastest man alive. I’m rich as fuck and my apartment has the best view in the city and half this country is convinced they love me more than they love their own family. So why the fuck,” Hawks squeezes Dabi’s hand tighter, presses it impossibly closer to himself, “is this the happiest I’ve ever been? Why is this what I want more than anything I’ve ever had?”
Hawks lets go of Dabi’s shirt to angrily wipe at his face, frustrated with himself. “I’ve always done the right thing; I’ve always put innocents above myself. I grew up knowing I was going to give my life to protect these people. I was ready for that. That was the first thing I had learned. My life wasn’t my own, it was theirs. So why is this happening now? What did you do to me? I hate you. You ruined me.”
Hawks can’t help but want to scream when he feels Dabi’s chest shakes.
He was laughing.
“You hate me? So, walk away. Go tell the Commission the mission’s over. I’m not stopping you. Go on, Little Bird.” Hawks finally opens his eyes, staring into the darkness. He returns his hand to Dabi’s shirt and once again tangles his fingers in it. He says nothing. “Well? Who are you loyal to? Because I’m not the one stopping you from flying away.”
“I hate you.” He chokes out, clenching his teeth. He can hear the desperation in his own voice and wishes he’d drown in it.
“Who are you loyal to?” Dabi asks again.
Hawks squeezes his hand tighter, out of aggression this time. He can feel the bones creak, knows he must be hurting the villain. Dabi doesn’t make any effort to get him to stop, doesn’t even make a noise of pain.
“Who, Keigo?”
“You!” Hawks spits out. The word tastes like iron and dirt in his mouth, like he’s spitting up blood from his lungs. “You, Dabi. You! You. I'm loyal to you.” The last words are barely audible, escaping with his gasping breaths.
Dabi isn’t laughing anymore. His tone is satisfied- knowing. Like all of this was done to hold Hawks in the palm of his hand and he's finally able to share the fruits of his labor. “I know, Pretty Bird.”
Hawks hates him.
Dabi tore him apart, down to his roots. He burned him alive and Hawks didn’t even notice; too focused on those cold eyes to feel the heat of his fire. Dabi ruined him and built him into something new. Something beyond what the Commission forged him into. Beyond what they raised him to be.
Dabi destroyed him, and in the process, destroyed the puppet strings ripping him limb from limb.
Hawks doesn’t know who he is without those strings. Keigo doesn't know who he is either. But he did know exactly what he wanted.
Keigo knew he would follow Dabi through hell if it meant he could hold his hand.