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Hawks was never anyone’s first choice.
That was nothing new. From his parents, to the commission, to his fellow heroes, Hawks was never anyone’s priority. He was a resource, a tool, an afterthought.
Hawks had come to terms with that long ago.
So, really, he had no one but himself to blame for allowing himself to entertain the thought that maybe he would choose Hawks.
Hawks did find it ironic that even in his hero career, he was number 2. Any other number would have been better. But number 2. To Todoroki Enji, no less.
And now, once again, he came second to Endeavor.
Hawks gasps horribly, breath catching and stuttering out. Honestly, he didn’t even know if he was truly breathing. Everything around him was shaken. The snow biting into the exposed skin of his neck was just as disorienting as the stars twinkling over his head.
He curls his fingers harder into the gaping wound in his side.
Truthfully, he knew the pathetic pressure wouldn’t do anything. He was too far from help and had no way to contact anyone either way.
Despite his best effort not to look, Hawks knew that the red snow underneath him was far too large to mean anything else but a death sentence. So, what was even the point of prolonging this?
Hawks could hardly feel his right leg at all, and his fingers sent pins and needles straight to his shoulders.
He curls his fingers tighter.
It’s not fair.
Hawks lets out another gasp as his lungs struggle to continue their cycle. Each breath gets caught in his throat, choking him. Hawks didn’t know if that was another symptom of his injury, or just the unfallen tears making his eyes burn.
Why. Why can’t he-
Why can’t he ever have anything.
“Hawks. Hawks, what is your location. What are your coordinates?”
The earpiece had only fallen a couple feet away when he collided with the ground. Truthfully, he could reach out and grab it if he truly wanted to.
He didn’t want to.
The last thing he wanted to ever fucking see were the people who pretended he meant something, only to shrug, cut their losses, and disregard him to chase another opportunity.
The last thing he ever wanted to see was Dabi’s fucking ugly face.
At least his parents never lied to him. They never held him on quiet nights and promised to protect him. They never promised to stay by his side. Never swore their love to him.
“You mad because we went to Dabi? Come on, Endeavor has always been Dabi’s purpose here we couldn’t let this chance go. You could handle one nomu.”
Maybe Hawks was the fool, for believing it for a second.
For believing he would ever, ever, mean more than Todoroki Enji. For believing anyone in the League meant it when they said he was one of them.
He isn’t one of them, he never was. He never would be.
“Hawks this area is going to be overrun with heroes soon, Endeavor alerted them. Where are you? We can’t hang around here any longer.”
He’s never going to be anything but the Winged Hero: Hawks to this world.
It’s not fair.
It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair.
Hawks wants to scream. And there’s no one around to hear it, so he does.
He screams and screams at the bright, shining stars over him. Until his throat is raw and black dots fall like the snowflakes in his vision.
“Dude, we can’t wait, we gotta go.”
Hawks screams until blood drips out the corner of his mouth and the woods are silent of any animals.
His hand drops from his side, limp in the snow.
Hawks glares at the sky, fighting eyelids heavier than anything he’s ever lifted.
Why is he still fighting this?
Hawks sobs once more as the tears drip down his cheeks. The sensation alone startles Hawks into back into his body. He couldn’t remember ever letting his tears fall in his whole life.
His whole, entire, 23 year life.
Hawks finally, finally, shuts his eyes. Unable to even make sounds any longer.
Hawks didn’t want to die alone.
Keigo didn’t want to die first to no one.
He exhales. Nothing follows.