Chapter Text
The sweltering heat blazes through the summer months. Sweat drips down Byleth’s body soaking into the fabric of her clothing. The dampness is uncomfortable, however, her new position as Professor allows her to indulge in some small pleasures. Frequently, during midday, Byleth will spend her break hour heading back to her room to do a quick change of her undergarment. Being damp from sweat all over is awful enough, but the dampness of her underwear is unbearable. Having her clothes soaking with sweat from battle is something she always put up with as part of the job as a mercenary. However, now that she is a professor she takes advantage of any small comforts she can. Whether it is changing her clothes or eating multiple meals a day, Byleth is enjoying her new life as a professor.
Soon the summer heat begins to fade and the coolness of autumn encroaches. Due to the change of season one issue has become more and more apparent to her. During the sweltering summer heat, the sticky dampness that sweat and humidity caused is to be expected. Even now, in the cooler weather, a day of sparring can work up a decent sweat. The issue is that not only after a ruthless training session will Byleth feel a certain dampness. The uncomfortable dampness can easily be explained by sweat and if not that, then due to her monthly flow. Byleth found herself having to excuse herself more frequently to change undergarments. As the weather had cooled off, when there wasn’t anything like training to explain the dampness away she assumed it could only mean one thing. It was a false alarm after false alarm. Every time she checked it is the same: clear, slick, and damp. Sometimes with discharge sometimes without. Byleth had not experienced anything like it before her time at Garreg Mach, she pondered for quite some time that perhaps she was ill. As a precaution, she heads to Manuela for a check-up. Byleth hopes to find an appropriate treatment in case she is sick with some sort of illness.
In the infirmary, Manuela stares at Byleth in disbelief as she asks, “So wait, let me get this straight... You think you might be sick because you frequently get some sort of clear, slick, discharge?”
Byleth nods with a serious expression on her face.
Manuela speaks with concern in her voice, “Professor, darling, is this… No, no, you would never joke about something like that... So you really don’t know?”
Byleth shakes her head, as she indeed does not know.
Manuela, still very concerned, responds, “So... You really haven’t experienced this before? Just looking at you, you should have been dealing with this for at least...” Manuela pauses as she gives Byleth a once over, “At least 5 years... If I had to guess.”
Byleth once again shakes her head. “This is a first for me. I can’t say when it started, but… It must have started sometime in summer months when it was too hot to notice.” Byleth speaks in a matter of fact tone as if she is reporting intel to her commander on a battlefield.
Manuela, startled, stares at Byleth before letting out a small sigh and then a chuckle, “Out of all people in the monastery... You were the last person I thought I would have to explain this to. The way you commanded yourself, I would have never expected that our newest professor is a late bloomer.”
Puzzled, Byleth questions Manuela, “Late bloomer….? I'm not a flower.”
Manuela closes her eyes and holds her hand to her head as she tries to think of a way to explain the situation to Byleth. Manuela hums and haws as she begins to approach the subject, “Hmm… Honestly, Professor, I think you already know the mechanical part. I think the real issue is applying those concepts to yourself. So humor me for a moment... I want you to think carefully about the times you experience that… Dampness in your undergarment.” Byleth furrows her brow slightly confused until Manuela goes on to explain further, “Think about who you were with and what you were doing. Were you with an attractive young man, or perhaps a woman? Did something excite you? What was going on in your mind?”
Byleth brings her hand up to her mouth and tilts her head, “Hmmm….” She closes her eyes to think about it further. Starting with the most recent event… It was right after a lecture had finished the other day. She tries to narrow down the time in her mind from the completion of the lecture to when she felt she needed to rid herself of that dampness.
The students had begun filing out of the classroom. She was standing in front, cleaning up her desk preparing to leave once the classroom had cleared out. All the students quickly left for other activies, everyone that is except for Dimitri. As he so often does, Dimitri approached Byleth after the lecture to discuss one aspect or another. On this day the lecture had been about the use of stealth in communication and the importance of secrecy in the transmission of certain information. Byleth had gone over various methods such as speaking in code, spreading false information, using secret hand gestures, and more.
“That was a wonderful lecture, Professor.” Dimitri spoke to her with a smile. He was always wanting to hear more from her after the lectures had finished.
“Thank you, Dimitri, so what would you like to know today?” Byleth said with a small smile as she set down her paperwork to face him. Dimitri was usually one for proper etiquette. She didn’t recall when it started, but somewhere along the line, he became a little more casual in his approach. Instead of standing in front of her desk to ask his questions, he stood right there, next to her, behind her desk and podium. She felt a certain fire start to burn within her from the closeness.
He leaned in and quietly whispered in her ear, “What do you think of this, Professor?”
Byleth was startled by his breath on her ear from his whisper. She had an impulsive thought to run away. Her eyes had darted around looking for an escape, however, there was nowhere to escape to. On her right side, her eyes lingered on his arm. She was blocked in as he was using his arm to lean on that side of the desk. Looking to her left, inches away from her face, was his hand and face whispering to her. She felt the warmth of his breath as her eye lingered on his lips. He was mere inches from face but she couldn't bring herself to look up to his eyes. Soon He moved his hand to her left shoulder with a light pat. The sudden sensation of his touch sent a shiver down her spine.
“You didn’t talk about whispering as a form of secret communication, so I was wondering what the risk factor is for that.” Dimitri spoke in a quiet low voice. She found the tone of his speech so intoxicating that his question almost didn’t register with her.
Byleth, unable to meet his gaze, looked for a spot on the wall to focus on. She felt off her game while talking to Dimiti in this moment. She hurried to end the coversation with her response, “I’m afraid I don’t have an exact answer for you. At the very least you would need to be careful of your surroundings. You never know who’s listening.” Byleth gently removed Dimitri’s hand off her shoulder and out of the way. Dimitri felt like fire to the touch and yet she knew he wasn’t that warm. “Now if you don’t have any other questions, I will be excusing myself.” Before Byleth could step away Dimitri had grabbed her hand. Byleth felt a pleasant, but searing, warmth that she couldn’t explain. Although Dimitri appeared to be the cause, she knew the root of the warmth was internal.
“Wait, Professor! Do you need any help cleaning up?” Byleth once again found herself pinned to her desk, this time with one hand in his and the otherside still blocked by his arm. His face mere inches from hers with a piercing gaze that set her aflame… A gaze she couldn't bring herself to return fearing the flames she felt would consume her.
Recalling that moment she begins questioning herself.
"Why was it again that I was trying to get myself out of the conversation so badly?"
She hums to herself while thinking. Up until this point she had always enjoyed her conversations with Dimitri.
"What was about that time that was making me try to escape so desperately?"
Her thoughts begin to wander back to that moment.
"Was it his warm breath on my neck? Was it how his words tickled my ear…?"
No, it wasn’t just that, there was more… Byleth was trying to leave... Because...
"I wanted to stay there trapped between both his arms…" Byleth still thinking to herself tilts her head back and forth as she strains herself to think. "And that… Scared me, maybe?"
No… That didn’t seem quite right. Byleth was squirming uncomfortably while remembering the event from the other day... She decides to think about a different time she had this issue instead. She hopes that will add more clarity to her thoughts...
One evening Dimitri and Byleth walked side by side as they headed back to her room. They had just finished dining together. While walking, there were still a few students out and about despite the late hour. Everything was going normally until suddenly.
Thud!
Unsure of what just happened, Byleth could feel her back pressing against the wall.
She had been roughly pushed up against the wall by Dimitri. She felt Dimitri’s leg and armor brush up against her bare leg. She could feel his breath on her neck as well as his hands on her shoulders. She felt a tingling sensation surging through her from each point of contact. They were concealed in the shadows by the darkness of night.“YOU’RE THE WORST SYLVAIN!” A young woman yelled.
Dimitri quietly whispered, “Professor… Shhhh…”
Startled, Byleth complied. She hadn’t seen whatever Dimitri had, but from what she heard she knew Sylvain was getting into trouble again. She assumed Dimitri wisely decided to have them hide in the shadows to avoid getting involved. However, the position they were in caused its own unique set of problems.
“I’m telling you it’s not like that! She was just a friend! You’re different!” yelled Sylvain.
The bickering between the two continued, but Byleth soon tuned them out. The sound of Dimitri’s breath was tickling her ears. With each passing moment, it grew louder and louder to her. Before long it was all she could hear. It caused a stirring in chest. She squirmed to shift the position a little. She attempted this to escape from his breath but it was all done in vain. The situation quickly became far worse. With every movement, she became more and more aware not only of his breath but also of every part of his body. She soon realized just where exactly all the points of contact were. Her body felt hot all over from where they were touching. Dimitri was leaning in towards her, one of his legs directly against her bare thigh.
Annette and Mercedes had forced her into the academy uniform earlier that day, so without her usual tights, there was nothing between her legs and his. The coldness of his armor felt nice against her burning hot skin, but she felt a throbbing. Something inside of her felt tight. It was as if she was experiencing a mix of anxiety and excitement. Just as she felt like something in her might explode, she was startled by Dimitri's sudden movement.
Dimitri rested his head on her should and sighed,“That was a close one wasn’t it professor?” Dimitri chuckled.“Huh?” Byleth was so lost in thought of how close Dimitri was she had completely forgotten what had been going on. She hadn't a clue how long they had been standing there, or what had happen to Sylvain, but she played it off with her response, “Oh... Yes... Sylvain always gets in trouble doesn’t he?”
Dimitri was straightening up his appearance, and starting to pull away…
Recalling that event causes her to squirm, much the same way she did on that evening. Like the previous event she had recalled, this one too was a situation she had both wanted to escape from and yet also stay in. Thinking about it causes her to fill with that same warmth she felt from his touch… She soon realizes that wasn’t the only thing that was the same about how she felt. She squeezes her legs together while searching further into the depth of her heart. She realizes every time she has had this issue she was with Dimitri. It was always moments they were alone together or in close proximity.
Byleth’s face blushes with a tinge of pink. She is not sure whether it is from recalling all those events, or if it is the realization she was always around Dimitri when she felt this ‘dampness’ problem. Even just thinking about him and recalling those moments is stirring feelings in her that she isn’t able to explain. She did, however, have an answer to Manuela’s question.
“After thinking it over... I suppose my issue does revolve around the same person every time. Does that mean anything, Manuela?” Byleth speaks calmly trying to cover any discomfort she felt from recalling those moments with Dimitri.
Manuela claps her hands together in delight. Cheerfully she speaks, “See, this is what I’m talking about! You’ve found someone you think is attractive!” Manuela was absolutely giddy.
Byleth tilts her head, puzzled, “I suppose he is handsome, but I’ve been around other people that are attractive and it’s never happened before. What about him makes him so special...?”
Manuela chuckles, “So it’s a ‘he’ is it? Hehe...” Manuela is having a lot of fun watching Byleth slowly piece things together in her mind.”Professor, there’s a difference between a person being attractive, and you finding that person attractive. There are plenty of people out there that are attractive, but that doesn’t mean you want to have sex with them. This fellow must really get you going if you found your arousal so concerning.” Manuela chuckles again.
Byleth blinks as she stares blankly, “...Excuse me?”
The pink tinge on her cheeks turns to a deep shade of scarlet red. Byleth knew very well what sex and romance are, but never once did it interest her. The pieces were indeed falling into place. The picture became more clear. She had a vague idea that women were said to become wet down there before sex but had never experienced that sort of thing herself. The foolishness she feels at this moment is unbearable. Embarrassingly, she realizes she had just admitted in one fell swoop that she was experiencing arousal, and all the while not knowing what it was.
Manuela giggles, “Judging by that expression you know exactly what I’m talking about now. However, more importantly, are you going to tell me who the lucky fellow is?” Manuela stares at Byleth expectantly.
Byleth gasps, “Huh?” She freezes at the thought of saying any of her feelings out loud.
This whole time her mind was filled with thoughts of Dimitri. With that question from Manuela, Byleth comes to the startling realization Manuela is talking to her about sex and the arousal she feels for Dimitri. The discomfort Byleth felt was unlike any other. The feeling she had seems like an emotion that shouldn't be seen or heard by anyone, especially not an uninvolved party. She felt exposed just knowing that she had unintentionally revealed her feelings of arousal to Manuela.
Byleth tries to deny her own feelings at first. She can’t possibly be thinking about actually doing things with Dimitri... Things like kissing, hugging, and as her mind wanders she envisions herself in a nude embrace with Dimitri. The thought, while exciting, is marred with fear she felt from someone knowing she might have any thoughts of the sort. Byleth begins to feel anxious. She is unaware if her feelings are causing her discomfort, or if perhaps talking to Manuela about this topic is uncomfortable. If Manuela could see half of what she imagines or felt… Much like the other day after the lecture, Byleth feels the desire to escape, except this time she feels the desire to leave from the bottom of her heart. Every fiber of her being is telling her to run.
Stuttering, Byleth speaks softly, “I s-see, so I want to have s-sex? This is… This is a normal bodily function then? In that case, I’ll excuse myself, sorry for taking up your time.”
Byleth stands up to leave immediately, when suddenly Manuela gently grabbed her hand, “Professor, you don’t need to run off like a scared cat. I can tell you’re embarrassed, but this is what friends are for. So you have a little crush for the first time, how bad could it be? I mean… You’ve seen me after a night out...” A look of horror spreads across Manuela’s face, “Oh my goddess!! Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed because you’re worried you’ll end up like me?! I’m just going through a little rough patch right now!”
Manuela’s own love troubles startle Byleth out of thinking of her own embarrassment. “No, I didn’t even consider you while imagining…” Byleth freezes as she nearly admitted everything, “No, never mind...” Byleth avoids eye contact with Manuel.
Manuela speaks after calming down somewhat, “It’s alright professor. I just want you to know I’m here for you.” She hums knowingly, “Believe me, if you need anything, I’m here for you. I’ll have you know, I was quite the lover when I was young-- Ah! What am I saying! I’m still young! I’m still quite a catch!”
Byleth smiles slightly, something about how even Manuela is stressing out over romance made her feel some relief that she isn’t alone. “Thank you, Manuela. I’ll be sure to stop by if I need anything.” Byleth let go of Manuela’s hand and heads back towards her room.