Chapter Text
It’s been almost two months since I asked Tim to move in with me. That moving-in did not go as I had hoped it would. Actually, it went a lot easier. It wasn’t like in those movies or TV shows when they pack up an entire room and move away. There was no shipping or moving boxes, no cleaning, no chaos. It wasn’t even like a gathering of a group of friends to come and help and pack, celebrate the moving-in with somebody, and single out things to: take, toss, donate. No, it was way, way easier than that. All he did was move in his clothes and school stuff. That’s all. We were done in less than three hours.
The day after one of the most hectic days in my entire life, I was free from work and he didn’t go to school. I was afraid this would look bad for him at the end, but he couldn’t care less. I didn’t want him to get lazy in school and his social life all because of me. I felt bad enough already because I was taking him from his family, at such a young age, now I might be having an invisible impact on his school and his future. He’s the smartest kid I have ever met, he has such potential. He’s such a nerd and a real book worm. He’s incredible.
We stayed in that day, stayed in bed until we couldn’t stand to lie down anymore, and because I was convinced, we changed the mattress’ original from. It was a real emotional roller-coaster and I have to hand it to him, he took it pretty great. Not everyone would stay after the mess I caused with my mother in front of him. I also wouldn’t have blamed him if he had left the apartment shortly after her. Who in their right mind would wanna be with a guy like me? I’m so fucked up; all I do is carry scars from the past. Why would anyone wanna stay here?
I know who. And I know why. He told me that over million times that day.
Him following me into the bathroom after she left felt so surreal. I was just counting the seconds before I’d hear him leaving and closing the doors on me, on us, but no…he never touched the exit door, he came after me.
That was the moment I should’ve locked in as the moment that explained it all: He loves me and he is not leaving me, no matter what.
Afterwards, it was all a blur. We tried having sex, it failed, we tried again, it lasted too shortly, and I ran out. I needed it. I needed that time alone.
I told Tim later that night, because we couldn’t sleep up until 5 am, that, years ago, while I was dealing with the same problem, I jumped into my car and drove through three states in only four days. Not only did I needed time alone, I also used that time to find myself.
“Did it help?” He asked me in a low voice, caressing my cheek as I could see the walls behind him finally show colour. It was dawn.
It was warm in the room. We were naked, sweat and cum were drying on our bodies. His curls were a mess; entangled and greasy. We lied face to face underneath the covers ever since we finished our celebratory love making.
A new chapter has begun.
This was his place now too, this is where he belongs, he was already getting used to it quite well, and very fast.
“It did. A lot.” I said, staring into him biting his lower lip.
“And last night…or…hours ago?” He chuckled silently, touching my cheek bone with his thumb.
“Not really, no.”
“No?” He raised his eyebrows, but his warm fingers never left my face.
He understood very well why I ran out and drove off to get my thoughts together.
But once I drove up there, it was like a river of memories and emotions overcame me. Yes, this place is where we shared our first ever intimate moment. And my God, I swear, that was something I never saw coming. When he asked me to drive him to a place where he likes to hang out, I thought he meant like a park or a café. But not this! Not that I regret it, never. He surprised me, and it’s not his first time. This kid is full of surprises and I am dying to find out more.
I was gone for maybe an hour, hour and a half.
As I was sitting there, staring into the same cliff I stared at days ago when I held him in my arms and he was emptying himself, nothing seemed to cross my mind that could lead me to thinking “Okay, now you’re here, let’s work out these problems.” Problems? What kind of problems? We had problems? Oh yes.
The summery was: I’ll deal with my mother and the family sooner or later, maybe it will work out, maybe it won’t, can’t really say now. But putting that aside…why am I even here? When I could be back home. With him.
There was this young man, waiting for me, dying because he couldn’t stand being alone, without me. He’s probably worried sick, who knows what he’s thinking about, and we all know what a drama queen he can turn into once he’s left alone with his crazy ass mind.
I opened up his text again. I read it over and over and over again. When I’d turn my phone off, I’d turn it back on only few minutes later just so I could read his message.
There was really nothing to think about. I just stayed there until I composed myself and was absolutely sure this is what I want.
My mother was right about one thing, and one thing only; he is young. He still needs to finish high school, graduate, apply for colleges, study, finish college, get a job and then the real life can start. Was I taking all of that way from him? I don’t think so. Not even Timmy would let himself fall in life because of a person he’s in a relationship with. I know I would never forgive myself if he decides to end his school years on high school, only because he has such potential and he wants more. He still has couple of months left and I’ll make sure to sit down with him and talk about his future and what are his plans. Whatever he decides to do, I’m going to support him and follow him. Even if he decides to not go any further. First I have to insert him in my life for good. No, I don’t want to marry him just yet, I didn’t even think that option through, and I doubt his mother would let him do that so young. There are different ways to start.
That’s when I made a decision that looked like it has already been made. He basically already lives with me, so why not make it official. That’s a start. After that…I mean, if he says yes, we’ll figure out the rest.
And then everything came in a form of a big wave at me.
As a professor, I can make it anywhere. Wherever he decides to proceed his future, I can insert myself in it easily.
With that, the rest just kept pilling one on top of the other.
I could see our future so clearly, so vividly. I smiled widely and saw my own reflection in the car window.
So why was I even here in the first place?
Honestly, I had to get away from him.
Tim is the type of a person that loves everything to be said openly, at the moment of speaking. I am not. The perfect example was what happened at a grocery store only two days ago. Wow. It’s only been two days but it feels like that entire scenario happened a whole life time ago.
He wanted to talk and explain, and I wanted to be alone. Yes, I was hurt, and he tried talking to me, but I didn’t let him. He wanted for us to handle that problem right there and then, and I needed time and space.
This is why we’re both a bad and a good fit. Maybe we could meet each other in the middle. I’ll learn not to be so ignorant and dramatic, and he’ll learn how to be less impulsive and more understanding.
But I doubt we’d even fit if we were any different.
I read his message again. Then I scrolled to see what else we’ve been texting for the past couple of months.
A lot of…sex stuff.
He was the one starting them most of the time. That’s because little bastard would start them when he knows I’m busy; especially during a class. Other times; when I’m with my brother, when I’m hanging out with my friends, and one time, he said he was starting to undress himself as I was talking to my grandmother over the phone. I remember that clearly because I wrote to him: Stay naked, I’ll be done in two minutes.
Of course, I wasn’t done in two minutes, or the next half an hour. I just ignored his texts to teach him a lesson. He kept texting and texting, but I only laughed deviously to myself.
He was pissed, and this was around the time his new semester started, and whenever he’d get home after school, exhausted but never too tired for me. He was pissed for couple of hours while he was sleeping, but then he came back to normal.
I took a deep breath. Inhale and exhale, couple of time.
I’m tired, I can’t keep my head straight, let alone think.
It was warm inside the car, but on the inside of my body…it ached me, my chest was in pain. So much shit went down in just a couple of hours. My God.
Friday, we had a fight, we sorted it out. Saturday morning, I caught him masturbating and had to be involved, I just had to. I couldn’t care less who was he thinking about fucking, or fucking him. I wanted in. It was an opportunity of a life time, such a shame if I had missed it. What he doesn’t know was the fact that I’ve been there and watching him for a lot longer than he thinks. When he told me he was fantasizing about me…I was stunned. He had the entire world to think about, and he chose me. The boy is really hooked, and he is definitely something special. He’s young, I have to consider that. Either he didn’t want it to anyone but me, so that he doesn’t feel bad afterwards, or he really doesn’t want anyone else invading his fantasy, but me.
I’ll take both options, together and/or separately.
The night at the club…wow. Wow, wow, wow. Can’t remember the last time I had so much fun. It was a new place for me, new atmosphere, new people, and I loved it. And he loved it. Even as he was being basically pushed into a corner with couple of other dudes, he still wanted me.
Timmy is so attached to me, that flatters me and breaks my heart so much. Never have I ever had someone so close to me who couldn’t function without me. We were close, dangerously close.
Then, back home, he got what he wanted. In the morning, he, again, got what he wanted. And I could’ve called it the fuck of a life time, if it wasn’t for the door knocking. That moment…everything changed.
And I’m glad it did, on one hand, on the other hand, this entire situation should’ve been handled differently.
Enough.
I wanna go home.
I wanna go home and find him still there. He’s the only home I have left. I couldn’t care less if I came back and saw that the damn building was on fire and all that was left were ashes, I just want to find him there.
And I knew I would. I just feel it in my guts. He himself said to come back to him in the text.
And if the building would ever get caught on fire, it would be because Tim was trying to make eggs and bacon.
I have to teach him how to handle meat. Or…food in general.
We can’t live off of fast food and snacks for the rest of our lives.
For the rest of our lives…
Okay, I’m going home. Before he burns the building down and hurts himself and the others in the process.
I turn on the car and started driving on my way back.
This type of black humour reminded me when he was so scared after choking me in the hotel. I wanted to lighten up the situation, turns out, I was just making it worse. And he’s pass that. Now he’s choking me like there’s no tomorrow.
The drive back took me about 15 minutes. I was out for no more than an hour or so.
The building was in one piece, phew.
I unlocked the doors slowly, didn’t want to barge in. It was dark in the hallway, the kitchen was cleaned and not in function, and the only source of light was the TV. When I took my jacket off, I realized his jacket was still there. A huge sigh of relief came over me, it felt like a tone was lifted off my shoulders. Archie ran towards me. I shouldn’t worry about him; I know Timmy took care of the pup.
And I found my sleeping beauty on the couch.
He was sleeping on his side, underneath the blanket, still wearing my clothes, his hair fell over his eyes. He looked ethereal.
Should I wake him up? I wanted to touch him, and feel him and talk to him. But I just couldn’t dare. If anything, I’m just happy he’s here and excited about tomorrow.
I took the remote off the table and turned the TV off. Suddenly, only darkness overpowered the room. I uncovered him and gently lifted him in my arms. He’s weightless, how is this even possible?
Tim’s body was so warm and soft, I could’ve drowned in all his scent and pheromones.
I was on my way to our bedroom now.
He did wake up in my arms, probably shocked about his whereabouts. He was surprised I was back and back after only being away for about an hour and a half. Tim was still in the state between real life and dreams, this is why he was mostly surprised.
As we laid there, talking, feeling up each other, pouring our souls and hearts out, kissing and cuddling, I couldn’t help but think, this is what I signed up for, and I couldn’t wait to explore it deeper.
After that crazy day, we were practically ourselves again. I knew he’d say yes, I never doubted that. Little shit needed to scare me to death before he said yes.
I’m scared to ask him anything else anymore, if he’s planning on giving me mini heart attacks every single time.
We slept for couple of hours after we finished talking. At least I did, I could sense him watching over me, or was I overexaggerating? I slept with my clothes on.
As soon as I woke up, he jumped me. It was maybe 4 am when he simply couldn’t hold his joy anymore and let himself open up once again.
I was gentle with him this time, and managed to dodge the embarrassment I felt earlier. Once everything was settled back into its own place, I managed to be my old self again, only a changed man.
We were celebrating. We had a good reason to celebrate; a new future together.
This year started off pretty good.
He’s gonna move in with me, life will forever be perfect from this day on.
“I’m so happy now Armie.” He whispered against my chin.
I kept my eyes closed, even though I was still fully awake. I was embracing this moment of sheer bliss. Morning Sun, us naked, underneath the covers, holding each other, his hands on my chest.
I smiled.
“Yeah?”
“I’m always happy with you. Now, more than ever.” He said.
And I opened my eyes. Timmy kept his eyes half opened and was smiling at me.
Even Tim looked like a different man. He was more beautiful, he looked younger, colourful, he smelled stronger.
“Did you expect this at all…” I asked him.
“No. Not a chance. I didn’t expect you to come home so soon.” Tim whispered.
“I didn’t want to be alone anymore, so I came back home.” I said, removing the lock of his hair from his beautiful green eyes.
For some reason, he simply couldn’t let this slide; he reached out and was touching the place where my mother slapped me only few hours earlier.
He bit his lower lip before he spoke.
“To our home.” He said it in a low voice, a trembling voice, wording out everything we’ve been talking about for the past God knows how many hours.
“Our home.” I said, smiling back at him.
I brought his hand away from my face and kissed it, then pressed it on my chest. If he only knew…I would move heaven and Earth to make him happy.
“We should get some sleep.” I said afterwards.
The sunlight was colouring the walls of our bedroom in thin lines. Guess no snow today.
“Yeah. I’m not going to school tomorrow. Or…today.” He chuckled as he said this.
“No?”
“I have a good reason why I can’t.” He giggled to himself and nuzzled into his own pillow.
My nostrils were blocked by the scent between us. It was so warm and the smell was almost sweet, mixed with sweat and our manly juices. It was undeniable.
Pure post coital aroma.
“Don’t let it happen again.” I said as I came closer to kiss him. Even his lips tasted differently, better, softer, more edible.
“It won’t, don’t worry.”
Timmy pushed his body closer to mine, kissing my neck as I was embracing his tiny, exhausted body towards mine.
Before I could even give myself the permission of gathering my thoughts at the end of this tiring day, I fell asleep.