My Diary

by wholesuhm

Notes:

Hello everyone. I've decided to include my writing's from my journal that I've been writing since last year. Some of my writing's may be hard to read, and some might leave you in tears. Throughout the chapters I will create tag warnings from my original work. If you are uncomfortable by any means, please continue scrolling.
Thank you.

Chapter 1: A dream that I once had..

I had a dream once.

I had a dream, where I saw myself asleep. And then, I saw two beams of light.

I looked around and I saw that I was in a room. The room was painted light, and I looked to see that machines were connected to my left arm. 

I listen to the sounds of distant, but clear beeps...

I then saw my face. I never imagined that I looked very beautiful. 

I remembered reaching out to touch my hand, and the moment I did, all I felt was cold.

I looked at myself lying there, and knew that I was not going to wake up. Not without a decision.

I then looked up at the two beams of light, and I began to see something.

One light showed me my memories. Beautiful, cherished memories. Memories that bring a smile to my face, and also brings tears to my eye's.

I noticed that I began to cry. 

I then looked over to the other beam of light. And within that light, I began to see more light.

The light was so bright that I had to shield away my eyes, and when I raised my hand, I felt warmth.

I looked up at the light once more, and reached up just a bit further. 

And as I did, it was getting bright again. 

I stopped what I was doing, and looked around once more.

I was still asleep, however, the room began to change. I saw that the two beams of light, now revealed behind two doors.

I realized that it was time for me to make a decision.

It was either, I go back to the first door, where all the memories I had that were so beautiful, I could go back and fix all past mistakes to become a better person.

No longer to have to ever feel sadness again.

Or, I either chose the second door. Where I could go into the warmth and remain in a peaceful sleep. No longer feeling cold, no more sorrow. No more pain.

I remained motionless, my body was unable to move.

I couldn't decide, because I would never know my faith towards the end.

I remembered smiling, as I reached out to place a hand upon my own in my sleeping state.

i was still alseep, and slowly, my own tears began to fall down my cheeks.

I remembered making a decision.

And I decided to remain where I was. 

Still,

A hand placed on my own as I continued to lay there, sleeping.

I looked up to see the monitor, while the beeps kept going.

Slowly, the beeps stopped.

And I looked closer to see that a flat line now appearred on the monitor.

I looked at myself once more,

And smiled.

And slowly,

I disappeared.