Work Text:
Hector Hernandez came in late to the studio this morning. He's still nursing a hangover from his sister's wedding yesterday and barely felt like a human being let alone function as one. Hector has a pounding headache and the brightness that managed to pass through his darkly tinted sunglasses made his head throb even more.
As he approached the studio in a stagger he audibly groaned as shouting could be heard from inside the studio. He leaned against the brick wall next to the door and took a large gulp of his still steaming cup of coffee, it burned the roof of his mouth in the process but he couldn't care less, he needs the liquid even more to survive the day.
He waited for a few minutes but the shouting continued. Finally he heaved a big sigh and nudged the door open with his knee. Inside the voices grew louder but was still incomprehensible.
Every raised shout sent an intense throbbing in his head and he grits his teeth as the office came into view.
"Everybody shut up!" He shouts over the cacophony of noises. The room is suddenly engulfed in silence as everyone stopped arguing simultaneously to look in his direction.
"I have a bad hangover so nobody better say another word or else." He leaves the threat hanging as he stumbles to his computer.
"Hector I thought you weren't coming in today." Allison said softly from his right.
He grunted before replying, "I wasn't planning to but Andrew called in sick. Now I have no choice but to come to work or else we'll be short of hands."
Hector raised his head and spoke in a low threatening tone, "But it looks like nobody is doing their job, so maybe we'll still be late regardless."
"Hector--" Allison started to speak.
"--The prop their strikes again." Abed interrupted.
Hector closed his eyes and counted to ten before replying. "The prop thief?"
"Yeah, the one that keeps on stealing the props on set."
"Abed. I don't want to say this again, there is no prop thief, someone just misplaced the props or didn't put them back in order."
"Hector--" Allison started to speak again but Hector continued. "I thought I ordered you to find them."
"I tried but they're nowhere on set." Abed replied.
"Well look harder."
"Okay." Abed shrugged and walked away.
"Now what is it Allison?" He turned to her, pain evident in his voice.
"We checked with the security guys about the CCTV, and well, someone has been stealing the props in the studio." She explained while wringing her hands.
Hector sighed and was silent for a few minutes. "Just tell the security guys to do their work, the lost props won't look good on their report."
"Will do Hector." Allison turned to walk away.
"Wait." He called out and she stopped.
"Why we're you guys arguing?"
She looked nervous before replying "The security guys have come to the conclusion that the suspect is likely one of us working in this studio, and everybody started pointing fingers."
Hector lifted his sunglasses to rub a hand over his face. "Alright alright. Now go." Allison scurried off.
The prop thief has been an annoyance for the last couple of weeks. He doesn't know who it was but he has a couple of suspects. Hector groans again before taking a swig of his coffee, he needs all the energy he can get to get through the day.
"Where's Abed?" Hector asks a few days later.
"He went off to make copies of the script." Richard Henderson or 'Rick' for short replied from behind the camera. The man looked up at him and asked "Why? You need him for something? I can tell him when he comes back."
"No no, just tell him we're having a party at Jason's bar later. Forgot to tell him yesterday."
Rick looks at him for a second, "You sure you want to invite him?" Rick looked skeptical.
Hector scoffs and rolls his eyes, "Yeah. He may be a little weird but he's a good kid."
"That kid is three years older than me." Rick replied with raised eyebrows. He's fairly good-looking in that All-American way and he knows it too, judging by the way he's slept with half the female crew members already.
"Look Rick don't be like that, he does a good job, a little chatty when you get him talking and a little behind emotionally but he's pretty smart. It's great that he's pursuing his dreams in Hollywood."
Rick just shook his head before going back to his camera, "Alright, just checking."
"Great. See ya later. Jason's bar, at eight!"
Jason's bar is loud, the floor vibrated with the combination of heavy bass and jumping bodies. It wasn't Hector's usual type but Andrew said they have drinks half off because he knew Jason from college. Whatever, Hector won't say no to any alcohol.
Most of the crew decided to join in the party. Half were already shit-faced and dancing with wild abandon on the dance floor. Hector squeezed through some bodies and found a table filled with sober people and some tipsy crew. He slid in to one of the seats and the everyone hollered.
"Hey Hector! Better late than never, but why are you so late man?!" Rick shouted over the noise. The music was loud but Hector could still hear everyone, albeit not as clearly.
"Paperwork!" Hector could hear the answering groans even over the music.
"Hector we were just asking Abed about his fiancé." Chase Miller said with a smirk, he works in a different studio but he and Rick go way back.
They unfortunately share the same attitude and the look in his eyes made it clear he doesn't believe a single word of what Abed said.
"You have a fiancé?" Hector turned to the calm man in disbelief, it looked like Abed was the only one totally sober out of everyone in the table.
"Yeah. Her name is Annie." Abed replied in his usual matter-of-fact way.
Rick shared a can-you-believe-it look with Chase and opened his mouth to ask, "What does she do?"
"She works for the FBI."
Now even Hector looked disbelieving. "Your girlfriend works for the FBI? How old is she?"
"She's seven years younger than me."
Okay, this was starting to get unbelievable. "Does she inflate when you kiss her?" Chase asked with a jeer. Hector kicked his foot from underneath the table and Rick jumped at the pain when he missed.
Rick glared at Hector before looking back at Abed. "Do you have a picture? Can we see her?"
"Sure." Abed shrugged before taking his phone out of his pocket and scrolling through.
Rick turned to Chase and shook his head, 'He's lying.' he mouthed and Chase nodded. Hector glared at the two but they only waved at his face. Abed may be a bit weird but he doesn't deserve getting shit on.
"Here." Abed said and showed his screen. It was Abed in a Han Solo outfit standing next to Chewbacca. Rick snorted and Chase outright laughed.
Hector pinched the bridge of his nose. Abed didn't notice and only said, "I wanted her to be princess Leia but it was snowing and she didn't want to wear the slave outfit I prepared."
"You got any more pictures?" Rick asked with a grin.
"Sure... But this is a new phone and I hadn't transferred all of my pictures yet."
"Sure you didn't." Rick replied.
"Here's another one." Abed showed them the screen again and Hector groaned as the other two almost cried in peals of laughter. On the screen was Abed in a ridiculous outfit next to a half robot trashcan half human.
"This was when I went to the Inspector Spacetime convention as Inspector Spacetime and she was Constable Geneva after merging with a Blorgon. It was awesome." He explained.
"Do you have any more interesting characters in your life?" Chase asked.
"I was Batman once--" Abed started to say but Chase interrupted, "No not that, I mean in your life. You got interesting friends Abed?"
Abed pondered for a moment. "My best friend is pretty interesting."
Hector raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Oh yeah? What's he like?" He asked, thinking Abed's best friend is probably some IT nerd back home.
"He's a multi-millionaire." Hector stands corrected.
"Oh really?" Chase smiles wider as a few chuckles escape his lips.
"How'd he get that rich Abed?" Hector was legitimately curious. There's a lot of rich bastards in Hollywood.
"He inherited it from a late rich college friend, on the condition that he sails around the world on a boat." Abed replied with a finger in the air. Hector sighed as the two other idiots on the table started snickering.
"Troy used to be the captain of the football team in high school."
"I'm sure he was. You got any more interesting friends?" Rick asks.
"Well there's Britta. She used to be an anarchist but now she's working as a bartender but she's still aspiring to be a therapist."
"When did you write all this?" Chase asks.
Abed tilts his head in confusion, "Any more friends Abed?" Hector quickly interrupts.
He snaps up with a small smile, "Yeah! There's Jeff Winger." Abed leans forward and makes a conspiratorial face, "He used to be a hotshot lawyer but now he works as a teacher at Greendale. He used to have a thing for Annie but got over it after we got together."
"So you fought against a hotshot lawyer for Annie huh?" Rick asked.
"I guess you could say that."
"Abed. It's alright if you don't have someone. It's alright to be single, heck I'm single! You don't have to make up stories just so we won't pity you." Chase said.
"Yeah, you don't have to make up a fiancé. Were single too." Rick added.
Abed looked confused, "But I'm not..."
"Guys leave him alone." Hector said. "Where is your girlfriend working?" He asked.
"Washington."
"Will we ever meet her?" Rick asked in a joking tone.
"She's coming by to visit in two weeks." Abed said with a smile and the two guys shared a look. "Hope we can meet her."
"I don't know if I'm allowed to bring visitors around." He said and looked at Hector.
"You can bring her around Abed, just get her a pass." Abed pumped the air and hissed a yes.
"We'll be looking forward to it Abed." Chase said with a smirk.
"I'm sure she'd love to see the set."
Hector has had enough already and stood up, the three turned to look up at him. "I'm going to get shit-faced." He nodded and left the table to get something preferably strong.
It's been two weeks and Hector honestly forgot about Abed's fiancé and mystical friends incident until Rick pulled him aside. "Hey man, have you heard anything about Abed's fiancé? She should've gotten here by now right? Had he introduced her to you yet?"
Hector shook his hand off from his shoulder and replied "No Rick, he hasn't."
Rick tsked and said, "If she did exist I bet you she's Chewbacca personified."
Hector frowned and turned to face Rick. "The hell are you talking about?"
"I mean look at that dude, who do you think would allow his ring on their finger."
"Rick stop being such a dick. Abed's a nice kid, he may have some kind of developmental disorder but that doesn't mean no one will find him attractive."
"I'm just saying." Rick shrugged but then did a double take. "Hey Abed!" He shouted at a passing figure.
Abed looked up and he was handling a lot of coffee. "Coffee run?" Abed nodded.
"Where's your fiancé?" Rick asked.
"She couldn't make it, an incident happened and Annie had to reschedule to next week." Abed replied before excusing himself. Watching him walk away Hector was starting to feel a little doubt himself.
"Oh man it's worse than having Chewbacca as a fiancé, he doesn't even have one."
"Shut up Rick."
'The prop thief is going to be the death of me.' Hector thought as he apologized to the script supervisor. One of their props was missing and this time it's not easily replaceable.
Hector massaged his temples when he passed by Allison. "Hey. Can you get Abed? Tell him we need a replacement prop in the next half hour, the props department should have more. Thanks."
They really need to catch the thief, it was starting to get annoying as hell. "Hey Hector!" Chase piped up. "Hey Chase, aren't you busy?"
"Yeah well one of the actors had a tantrum and now we're starting again tomorrow once we got what they wanted." They shared a look of understanding before Chase continued. "So Abed cancelled again?"
"Not cancelled, his fiancé rescheduled last week."
"For the third time? I don't know man I'm starting to think she doesn't exist."
"You and me both."
"Excuse me." A sweet voice called out. They both turned and Chase let out a low whistle. Hector elbowed his side before plastering a polite smile and asked. "Yes ma'am? How can I help you?"
The woman is drop dead gorgeous. Which when working in Hollywood, isn't really a rarity, but she had that natural fresh look on her face that's been lost to most artists in the industry.
She's a brunette with bright blue eyes and was wearing a tight white dress that prominently displayed her ample assets. She had a wide smile as she said, "Hi, I'm looking for Studio 41?"
"That's where we're stationed. We can take you there." Chase immediately replied. Hector shot him a look, only Hector works in Studio 41.
They slowly walked in step towards the studio and Hector couldn't help but ask, "Are you an actress?" Knowing how it came off he hurriedly added, "Because I work in studio 41 and I've never seen you there before."
The woman laughed and it brightened her whole countenance. "No, oh no I'm not an actress." Hector shared a look with Chase.
"Then you're here as a studio audience?" Chase asked, which didn't really make much sense as studio 41 isn't used for live shows.
"Oh no to that too, I'm here as a visitor." She explained, and they chatted for a few seconds until they reached the studio. It wasn't very far.
"Here we are." Chase said turning to face her, "Oh and I hadn't introduced myself yet. I'm Chase Miller and this is Hector Hernandez." He gestured towards Hector and he nodded.
The woman looked distracted for a second looking at something off to the side before she brightened and held her hand out, "Nice to meet you I'm Annie Edison." Hector shook her hand but had a nagging voice at the back of his head that said he recognized the name.
She was shaking Chase's hand when a voice rang out from the studio door. "Annie!"
Annie gasped and her eyes widened as she let out a huge grin. "Abed!" She slipped past the two of them and practically jumped into Abed's outstretched arms.
The voice at the back of Hector's head suddenly grew louder. Annie... Abed's fiancé.
"No way." Chase whispered from beside him.
"No way." Rick's voice repeated from behind Abed. Hector shifted his gaze and found the cameraman with his mouth dropped open.
Hector suddenly felt a headache coming on and started massaging his temples when the embracing couple felt like it wasn't enough and started making out in the middle of the path walk.
"Oh shit." Chase whispered in shock.
Hector breathed out from his nose and started walking towards the couple. "Alright alright break it up you two. You're causing a scene."
The two eventually broke up and Hector was taken aback by the tender look on Abed's face as he caressed her face. He didn't think Abed was capable of having facial expressions other than confusion and mild anger.
"I missed you so much." She said sweetly with a smile.
"I missed you too Annie, phone sex isn't enough anymore." He replied with a straight face.
"T.M.I!" Hector exclaimed, "There are people around here. Just... Just get inside please." The couple looked at him for a moment and then nodded.
Once inside Abed led Annie to one of their lounges. The others followed out of morbid curiosity.
"So you're Abed's fiancé Annie?" Rick asked with skepticism.
"Yeah. We've been together for about three years now." She beamed at Abed, stars in her eyes.
"You work for the FBI?" Hector asked in disbelief.
"I do! I finished my internship and now I'm working full-time." She turned to Abed and squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry I kept rescheduling. Something kept coming up."
"It's alright," Abed shrugged. "I knew you were busy. Next time I'll come to you."
"It's a date." They stared at each other like besotted fools until Hector coughed.
"Oh, sorry. It's been awhile since we've seen each other." Annie apologized.
"It's fine." He replied, waving it away.
"Wait! Does this mean the multi-millionaire best friend is real?!" Chase exclaimed.
"You mean Troy?" Annie replied in disbelief, "Of course he's real why wouldn't he be?" The two idiots had a look of shock.
She shook her head and looked back at Abed, "Troy is planning a housewarming party in his new mansion next month."
"The house is finally done?" Abed asked.
"Yeah, he'll probably ask you to move in at the party." Abed blanked out for a few seconds while Annie played with his fingers.
Hector caught Rick and Chase exchanging looks of twin 'what-the-fucks'.
After a few more seconds Annie finally said. "You can say no. He knows you're still working here Abed, he won't hold it against you."
Abed smiles. "I'll think about it." And Annie smiled softly in return.
The two shared glances while Hector checked his watch. "Anyway Abed, I just wanted to ask if you got the replacement prop to the studio yet."
"The pillow with a gnome attached to it? Yeah I already checked it out of the props department." Abed replied and Annie had a weird look on her face.
"Good good. Just wanted to ask." Hector pressed his lips together at the awkward atmosphere, he doesn't have time for this. "Well I'm going. I still have work to do."
He started walking away and still managed to catch Abed's explanation before he went out of earshot. "The prop thief stole another one again."
Hector missed the suspicious look passing through Annie's face, but then again, even if he did he wouldn't have understood why. So he left the group to their own devices, hoping Abed doesn't get too distracted with his fiancé and stops working properly for the day.
It was finally lunchtime and Hector only had a half-hour to scarf his food down so he went to the office pantry. Rick and Andrew were there and also Chase, who should really go back to his own studio. Andrew was exclaiming 'no ways' and Hector suddenly knew what they were talking about.
"Hey Hector are these two idiots for real?" Andrew exclaimed as he entered the pantry.
"Yep." He answered while taking his sandwich from the fridge.
"Our Abed. The Abed Nadir, has a gorgeous hot fiancé?"
"She's also seven years younger." Chase said.
"And works with the FBI." Rick added.
"You can't make this shit up dude." Andrew shook his head.
"And where is the young couple?" Hector asked while taking his seat.
"Off to eat somewhere nice." Rick answered.
Hector unwrapped his sandwich and started taking a bite when Chase said. "Hey, why don't we invite them over to that bar Jason's? Alcohol is still half-off right?" He looks them in the eye, "It's too good to be true, I don't believe it's real. She can't possibly act for the whole day."
If Hector didn't have his mouth full of sandwich he would've protested but the other two were already nodding. "When they come back let's ask em." Rick said and the others agreed.
Hector massaged his temples, looks like he's going to get shit-faced again tonight.
Work hours were almost over and Hector hasn't seen neither hide or hair of the others. He wondered if the bar thing was still a go and merely shrugged, either way he was still getting drunk one way or the other so he doesn't care.
Especially after everything that's happened today, he deserves a drink.
"Hector, you ready to go dude?" Andrew asked by his station. He nodded and stood up, "Just let me grab my coat and I'll join you outside."
Hector heard a commotion and a patter of feet just as he was leaving the studio. There was a crowd gathered outside and he squeezed through the throng of onlookers.
He huffed in annoyance and straightened his coat once he passed through the crowd. He turned and looked at what the whole commotion was about.
"What the fuck." He whispered when he saw the security guys surrounding Allison and holding her down. Hector saw a security guy rummaging through Allison's car and bringing out a cacophony of items from her trunk. He suddenly felt a throbbing in his head again as he approached the scene
"What the fuck is happening?" He asked aloud.
"Annie caught the prop thief." Abed materialized on his left and Hector felt his soul almost jumping out of his skin. "Fuck! Abed what did I tell you about being stealthy and making sounds when you move."
"To do it so I don't give you a heart attack." Abed replied tonelessly.
"Exactly." Hector said while holding his chest.
"How did she find out?"
"I saw her taking the pillow with a gnome in it to her car this morning." Annie materialized on his right and he almost had a heart attack right then and then. "Fuck!"
"Sorry. Thought you heard me approach." She shrugged and smiled at Abed, "I told Abed about it at lunch and we spent the afternoon looking for more clues."
"Then after we gathered enough evidence we notified security and they went to apprehend Allison. Unfortunately, she decided to run away. But! Annie caught her knowing she'd run straight to her car."
Abed had a faraway look on his face. "It was so hot when she threw Allison over her shoulder." Annie blushed and twirled her hair at Abed's comment.
Hector could practically feel the sexual tension and as the person standing between them, he didn't like it.
It took awhile but Allison was finally taken away, she'll most likely be fired for her actions. As for her motive she kept spewing about the being sick and tired of the spoiled lead actor and did everything to make his time there miserable.
Hector has a full-blown headache by now and he almost didn't want to go to Jason's bar, but the prospect of getting shit-faced was too tempting, he's definitely going to do it now.
"Did Chase tell you about Jason's bar?" Hector asks.
"Yeah he did, Annie's pretty psyched to go." Abed replied.
"Good. Andrew texted me awhile ago, he went ahead because the arrest was taking a long time, we'll just catch up."
"Alright, we'll see you there." The couple walked off to where Hector assumed Abed parked his car.
Hector just shook his head, the day has gotten increasingly weird and he can't wait to forget about all of it.
As always the bar was pretty loud. Hector weaved through the throngs of people, peeking his head out until he comes across a group of people he recognized.
The three idiots were already there along with the young couple. The two acted like no one else existed as they flirted in front of the three.
By the time Hector slipped into a seat Abed was trailing his lips along Annie's unblemished neck. He could see the other three were trying, and failing, to keep their eyes away from her heaving chest.
This is getting a bit too much, even for Hector, so he turned and asked Rick. "How many rounds have you had?"
Rick stared back blearily and replied. "Not enough." And waved at a passing waitress to order some more. Fair enough.
Annie giggled and pulled back. And just as Hector expected the couple was stone cold sober, Abed doesn't like to drink, something Hector doesn't quite understand. But then again Abed also isn't a functioning alcoholic like Hector.
Annie started to stand up and pulled Abed up with her. "Let's go dance Abed." She dragged him away and he went along willingly with a grin. "Excuse us guys." She said sweetly and they disappeared into the throng of dancing people.
"I still can't believe it." Chase slurred at the side.
"You know where they met?" Andrew spoke up, "They met in a fucking community college. Could you believe that."
"Bullshit." Rick took a large gulp from his glass.
Hector just looked at the dance floor and saw Abed dancing like a penguin while his fiancé Annie was having the time of her life. Shaking and bobbing in time with the music.
He groaned as the music turned slow and the couple started embracing again. Here he was, in his thirties, still single, while his socially ill-adjusted coworker is dancing with a 10. Hector wondered which community college he'd gone to and if they're still taking applicants.
Shaking his head from the path it's going he picked up his glass of alcohol and took a large swig, he's way too sober for this shit.
A few rounds later and Hector was barely upright. Arguing about some nonsense with Andrew while Rick went off to take a piss, when he came back he looked as white as sheet.
"Why you look like that?" Chase slurred from his seat.
"I saw them going at it near the toilets." They all simultaneously groaned at the words.
"Lucky bastard." Andrew sneered.
"The--there's some kind of lesson here. I-- I don't know what but there is." Hector pointed at the three idiots long enough for them to look back blearily before he promptly passed out.