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Perhaps, Geralt thought to himself, things had gotten out of hand.
Perhaps he’d allowed himself to get too soft.
Here he was, carving yet another hole in his belt, the third in the past two months. He’d truly thought that his metabolism would keep him from gaining much weight, but apparently, he was wrong.
He turned to look himself over in the mirror that the duke had gifted them. He was still quite muscular, but he had the beginnings of a double chin, and his stomach was definitely no longer flat. He lay a hand on it, noting how it rounded out in front of him. Even his thighs were larger.
Geralt frowned. He really wasn’t a vain man, not by any means. His body was a tool above all else. Still, he couldn’t help but dislike the changes that were occurring.
The sound of Jaskier’s footsteps leading into the room broke him from his thoughts.
“Checking yourself out?” Jaskier asked, grinning, though his smile faltered when he saw Geralt’s expression. Anyone else would view it as neutral, but Jaskier knew him too well. He was upset about something.
“What’s wrong?” He questioned, concerned.
“Nothing,” Geralt replied, moving to step past Jaskier.
The bard stopped him.
“Is it because of this?” Jaskier gently poked Geralt in the belly, causing the Witcher to scowl.
“Because I happen to love it,” Jaskier continued. “You look good with some softness.”
Geralt could sense that Jaskier was being sincere, and he suddenly felt less upset.
“Thank you,” he muttered. “I need to work.”
00
Geralt was usually very good at compartmentalizing things, but today, he couldn’t get Jaskier’s words out of his mind. Maybe it was okay to have a little softness. Some might interpret it as weakness, but was it, really? He was still strong. He still provided for Jaskier and protected him. Perhaps he didn’t need to be all hard angles and muscle. He really was enjoying the twice-weekly stuffings with Jaskier, and the extra food that he was given at other meals, too.
He’d almost fully accepted that perspective when he arrived back home. Then he opened the door.
00
“Yennefer.” Geralt glared at the woman who was currently sitting in his living room. Jaskier sat across from her, a glass of wine in hand. He looked amused.
“Geralt,” Yennefer said, standing to look him over. “I see you’re also doing…well.” She smirked, eyeing him up further.
Like Jaskier, Yennefer also knew Geralt's expressions well.
“Aw, does that embarrass you? Are you humiliated, perhaps, because you’ve put on a few pounds?” She slinked over and circled him, reaching out to pinch his belly.
When she got no response, she spoke again.
“No need to answer. I can see that it does. At least it’s not as bad as what’s happened to him,” she glanced at Jaskier, who simply rolled his eyes.
Insults to himself were one thing, but Geralt would not abide by someone insulting Jaskier.
“Yennefer, you’re quickly wearing out your welcome. Is there something you need? I assumed that with the plague, we would be free of your visits for quite a while.”
Yennefer sighed.
“Yes, that silly plague. So many bodies out there.” She looked as if she wanted to smile, but was holding it back. “Whole families dead,” she continued, before turning to look Geralt in the eye.
“To answer your question, I’m here on assignment. The duke has hired me to create a health potion for his family. It’ll take me just a few days, but until I’m done, you’re stuck with me.”
“You’re not staying here,” Geralt said. “This is our home.”
“Of course not,” was Yennefer’s response. “I’m staying in the house next door.” She walked towards the entrance. “So, I guess I’ll see you around, neighbor.”
00
“I take it you didn’t expect her arrival,” Jaskier said, after Yennefer had left.
“No. No one told me. Though I suppose they’d have no reason to do so. The duke doesn’t know our history.”
Yennefer had been angry at Geralt for years, ever since Geralt had taken up with Jaskier instead of her. She’d felt scorned by his rejection. A huge part of her had been hoping to find his relationship with Jaskier in disarray, but clearly it was going well. He must love the bard very deeply if he was willing to stay despite Jaskier’s major weight gain.
Geralt, for his part, still cared for Yennefer, but he knew that a relationship between them would never last. They tended to destroy each other when together long term. Mostly, seeing her made him worry that she might try to disrupt his relationship with Jaskier.
So, he wasn’t surprised when she turned up at their home the next morning.
00
Geralt was the one to answer the door. His job required him to be up and out early, while Jaskier tended to sleep in.
“What is it that you want?” He asked, not letting her into the house.
She was dressed in a beautiful green gown that was tailor fit to her toned, perfect body. She truly was beautiful and it took all of Geralt’s self control to keep from looking her over.
“I thought perhaps you’d want to walk to the duke’s home with me. We’re both going the same way.”
“Hm. Okay”, Geralt agreed, if only because she would surely find a way to bother him later if he didn’t.
The two walked in silence for a few moments - the duke’s home was a good mile off from the worker’s settlement - before Yennefer spoke.
“So, you two seem pretty happy,” she said, keeping her expression neutral.
“We are,” Geralt agreed. “We’re a good fit for each other.”
“Good. I’m glad. As I said yesterday, he’s clearly rubbing off on you,” She went on. “Not that it’s a bad thing.”
Geralt didn’t respond. The two walked in silence for the remainder of the trip.
00
Yennefer’s words stuck with Geralt throughout the day. He thought he’d gotten past his issues with his appearance, but now he felt even worse. He decided that he ought to nip the problem in the bud. Right now, he was still strong looking, but if he gained any further weight that would change.
That night at dinner, he resolved to eat his normal amount and nothing more. Of course, he hadn’t told Jaskier this, and the man had made a massive spread of food for them to enjoy.
When he only ate three plates of food (a regular meal for him, being a Witcher and all) and nothing more, Jaskier became concerned.
“Is everything not to your liking?” He asked, working on his third plate himself. His appetite had grown in accordance with his weight.
“It’s perfect, Jaskier. As always,” Geralt told him. He wished he could eat more of it. Everything looked delicious and there was more than enough for him to have an additional one or two plates. But, he had to cut back. It wouldn’t do for people to start thinking of him as lazy or sluggish.
“Well, so, have some more,” Jaskier told him.
Geralt stared at him for a moment, debating whether to tell him what was on his mind. In the end he decided not to. He didn’t want to admit that Yennefer had gotten under his skin.
“It’s just been a tiring day,” he replied. “I’d like to meditate for a while.”
Jaskier studied him, trying to figure out what Geralt was really thinking. He knew the Witcher was bothered by something, but it could be nearly anything. Perhaps he’d seen more bodies in town that day. The amount of people dying was truly staggering.
“Alright. Let me know if you need anything,” Jaskier finally answered.
He watched in silence as Geralt stalked off to his meditation area.
00
The next morning, Yennefer was at their door again. Geralt walked with her to the duke’s home. This time, she didn’t make any outright comments about his or Jaskier’s weight, but she did offer him a spell she’d created. Moving her hands in a certain way, she made it so Geralt’s clothes would stretch to fit him for a while longer.
She acted as if it was a favor, but really it just made Geralt angry. He didn’t need his clothes altered and he hadn’t asked for her to do it, either. But she was standing there, looking like she’d just done him the biggest favor in the world, and he didn’t know how to respond.
That day, he skipped his midday meal and worked a little harder, not taking any breaks at all.
00
When he arrived home that evening, Geralt was in a foul mood. He was hungry and tired and snippy. It surprised him somewhat. Prior to settling with Jaskier, he would go literal days without food. It wasn’t as if Witchers tended to starve to death. They could, but it took a long time. But apparently his body had become used to eating regular meals, and it impacted his mood if he didn’t have one.
“Hey you,” Jaskier greeted him. He was busy setting the table.
“Hi,” Geralt answered.
He could smell the food from where he was, and it made his stomach growl.
“Is dinner ready?” He asked, hopefully.
“Yes, coming right out. Sit down,” Jaskier said.
As soon as the food was laid out, Geralt dove in. Jaskier watched in stunned silence as his lover went through plate after plate of food, finally stopping at six.
“Um. Hungry, then?” Jaskier asked.
Now that he was sated, almost overfull, really, Geralt felt less upset.
“Sorry. Didn’t get to stop for a meal during the day,” he explained, somewhat embarrassed.
Jaskier simply smiled at him.
“No need to apologize! It makes me happy that you enjoy my cooking so much. And you know how much I enjoy feeding you,” he winked at Geralt. “I just hope you’ll be ready for later.”
Oh. Right. Geralt had all but forgotten that it was one of their special stuffing nights. He’d been the one stuffing Jaskier the last two times, so he had agreed that this time, he’d allow Jaskier to feed him. Obviously Jaskier was looking forward to it, if the look in his eyes was anything to go by.
“I’ll be ready,” Geralt reassured him. He wouldn’t want to disappoint his bard, after all.
00
“How is it possible that you’re that much fatter in one day?” Yennefer asked, as she and Geralt walked to work the next morning.
Geralt sighed.
The truth was, his stomach was still bloated from the night before. Jaskier had been testing his limits once again and he’d managed to eat a huge amount of food on top of the dinner they’d had.
“Oh!” Yennefer said, stopping in the middle of the trail. “It’s a thing for you guys, isn’t it? You’re not just passively gaining weight. You two kinky boys, you!” She was grinning.
If Witchers could blush, Geralt’s face would have been bright red.
“It’s none of your business,” Geralt snapped.
He turned to continue walking, and Yennefer struggled to catch up.
“No, no. Don’t be humiliated. It’s great that you both have a shared passion like this. It’s a little unconventional, but what fun is normalcy? As long as it doesn’t impact your job, or what others think of you, then it’s fine.” She stared at him as she spoke, knowing exactly what her words would do.
Geralt sighed again.
“Would you just fuck off, Yen?” He nearly shouted. “Go make some potions, or stare at some dead families. Whatever it is that gets you off. Just stay out of my way.”
Yennefer didn’t even flinch.
“Oh, come on. I’m just being honest and you know it.”
With that, she walked on, leaving Geralt far behind her.
That night, and the day after, Geralt ate only what he needed to function, leaving Jaskier confused and worried.
00
Jaskier knew something was wrong with Geralt.His mood seemed to fluctuate wildly from day to day, as did his eating habits. The only thing that had changed recently was that Yennefer had arrived, so it had to be something to do with that.
On the fifth morning after her arrival, Jaskier woke early. He pretended to be asleep when Geralt got out of bed, and he lagged far enough behind Geralt and Yennefer on the trail to where he hopefully wouldn’t be noticed.
Quietly he krept among the trees, trying to listen in on whatever they were talking about.
From what he could gather, she was saying something about how he ought to hope that someone will like a fat Witcher once things ended with Jaskier, and how sad it was that he’d not only be scarred and an outcast, but also overweight.
Geralt of course kept his cool, but Jaskier could tell that her words bothered him.
It all made sense, then. Yennefer was trying to break them up by picking on Geralt’s weaknesses, going right for the things that were most apt to hurt him. Jaskier couldn’t help but feel rage at the thought of it.
If Geralt wouldn’t stand up for himself, the Jaskier would have to take things into his own hands.
00
That night, when Yennefer returned home, Jaskier was waiting on her steps.
“What is it you want, bard?” She asked, angrily.
Jaskier stood in front of her so she couldn’t enter her lodging and crossed his arms, glaring at her angrily.
“I want you to stop messing with Geralt,” he said, his tone low. “You’re making him question himself and you know he has self esteem issues already. Do you know how long it took me to get him to open up even the slightest? I will not stand for you ruining that!”
Yennefer looked at him, briefly wondering if he was serious. Surely he knew that she could easily transform him into an animal or even kill him if she wanted? Upon realizing that he was, in fact, truly very angry, she started to laugh.
“Or what? What will you do? You’re no good for him, bard. You’re making him fat and lazy while ruining yourself as well. Look at you! You’d die if you had to run from something,” she poked him in the stomach. “Your little heart would explode right out of your chest. You’re both bad for each other. I just want him to realize it before it’s too late.”
“So that he can go be with you? And you can bring him down even further? Is that what you want? If you loved him you’d want him to be happy. He was happy before you came along. You just want him because you can’t have him! I know I can’t hope to kill you, but I do love him, and I will find a way to make your life a living hell if you don’t stop. I’ll make it my one goal to bother you, even if it means writing a song about you specifically and and how terrible you are and touring around to get it played everywhere, so whenever you so much as step into a market or an inn, everyone knows who you are.”
Yennefer wasn’t sure what to say to that. Jaskier clearly meant what he said. And perhaps he was right, about wanting Geralt to be happy.
“You’ve made your point,” she finally conceded. “Let me think on it.”
“The fact that you even have to shows how cruel of a person you are,” Jaskier replied. “Just leave us alone.”
With that, he turned and walked away.
00
To a normal person, Geralt’s expression looked solemn, but Jaskier knew that he was feeling sad. Having heard the morning’s conversation with Yennefer, he knew why, and so he made it a point to spend some time with Geralt when he arrived home.
Giving him a kiss upon greeting him, Jaskier led them to the bedroom, where he had Geralt lie down, his head in Jaskier’s lap. They sat in silence for a bit while Jaskier played with Geralt’s hair.
It seemed to soothe the Witcher, and his expression went from one of hurt to one of relaxation. When he felt that Geralt might be in a better mindset to talk, he spoke up.
“So, I have something to tell you,” he began. “You might be angry, but please hear me out. I’ve noticed that you’ve been rather… moody… the past few days. And I wondered what caused it, and the only new thing in our lives in Yennefer, so I followed you on the way to work and I heard what she told you.”
Geralt’s eyes got wider, and he took a deep breath, unhappy at what he was hearing.
“That wasn’t any of your business,” he said, trying to remain calm. Really, he just felt embarrassed that Jaskier had heard any of it.
“It is my business, because it was making you unhappy, and I can’t have that. Not if there’s a way I can help it. I know she told you that you’ll end up alone, or that people will think less of you. She’s lying. She’s trying to hurt you, because she’s upset that she can’t be with you.”
Geralt didn’t respond, so Jaskier continued.
“Earlier this evening, I had a little chat with her. I told her to leave us be, and that if she loved you she would want you to be happy. I thought perhaps she might turn me into a duck or a frog, but it seems like the words struck a chord with her and she let me go unscathed.”
“I’m surprised by that,” Geralt said, “She’s usually very vindictive.”
“I may have threatened to write a ballad about how awful of a person she is and tour around the continent singing it so that she’s known everywhere and among everyone. Also, I think she knows that if she harmed me, you’d destroy her.”
“That I would,” Geralt agreed.
“Anyway. I do think she’ll leave us alone now, but I wanted you to know that if you want to talk about anything, I’m here for you. And if you did want to stop this… thing… that we do, I’d understand as well. But know that I love you, and that I’ll always love you, and that no one is going to think less of you for enjoying life a little.”
He ran a finger over Geralt’s cheek, tracing a little pattern on his skin, which made Geralt half-smile.
Deep inside, he knew that Jaskier was right. Even if his instincts told him otherwise, he’d found a place where he was wanted and accepted, and a man who truly loved him.
00
The next morning, there was a knock on the door. Geralt scowled, knowing who it would be.
He was surprised to find the entrance way empty when he opened it, save for a basket containing several vials of potion.
He picked it up and read the note that came with it.
‘Health potions: will cure ailments related to obesity and age. Bard should take it once per month. Guaranteed to extend youth and life.’
Geralt smiled. It was Yennefer’s way of apologizing, he assumed. Well, apology accepted.