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Hi and welcome, this is my first submission to AO3 and I’m excited to finally be posting something after a really long gap in my ability to write anything fic related, at least my own fics. This is an AU so I’m completely messing around with the timeline. It’s also a MultiSaku fic with strong PolyA themes and slightly OOC characters. Try not to take it too seriously as it’s basically a crackfic and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’m feeling like it’ll be a pretty long story and again, the timeline, events and a whole bunch of other stuff is cannon divergent but most AkatSaku fics kind of need that leeway to make a semi-believable story. I’d also like to note that I own absolutely nothing affiliated with Naruto the series and I’m only making this for my own enjoyment as well as for others. If you like the story please leave a review, it’s really good motivation for regular updates and it’s always nice to hear possible improvements I could make to my writing and my stories for further fanworks I’d like to create. With that being said, please enjoy the first chapter.
Chapter One: The under-explained series of impossible events.
Sakura Haruno lived a strange, confusing life. It all started with team seven, hosting a demon retainer, what she thought was the last Uchiha, and the famed and (in some circles) infamed copycat ninja with more baggage between the three than could be shifted through in a lifetime. While she was just a regular girl back then, with some stellar chakra control and a tiny voice in her head. Then she became the stereotypical edgy teen, if ‘edgy’ could be defined as ‘medical prodigy with a pension for poisons and a chip on her shoulder’. Things were pretty normal for a bit, she supposed, between hospital shifts and a boring but functional social life. Then Naruto came back from his training and a whole slew of shiny, new problems started to arise. Mostly centered around a shadowy organization with members more colorful and strange than anyone could understand. It was… stressful would be a poor word to use but she decided to use it anyway to keep this summarization simple. It was stressful. More hours at the hospital had honed her skills and the creative potions and poisons she was able to reverse-engineer from the injured teams who were sent to her ICU had made her research abilities sharp and her mind sharper. It was becoming a smaller and smaller world in the realm of ‘medics that could challenge Sakura Haruno's abilities’, and she was damn proud of it.
Then shit hit the proverbial fan because if there was a way for things to get even more complicated, they normally would. With one dead Akatsuki under her belt and a horribly botched ‘world-ending’ jutsu it was outed that Madara Uchiha, one of the long lost founders of Konoha, was alive and kicking and heading the organization that wanted to rip Naruto open like a chocolate to suck out the kyubi flavored filling, to put it lightly. These facts had apparently enraged the still-standing leader of the Akatsuki, who'd been thoroughly duped and now with his plans put at a halt, he did what most sensible leaders would do.
So he crushed Madara Uchiha in what she could only assume was an all-out and fascinating fight that would probably be very tiresome to recollect to anyone trying to take account of the event, then he unveiled the truth and took charge of Ame as it’s true and unmasked Kage and they became an unstoppable military force with more alliances than Konoha had probably had in its entire lifetime. They had almost every hidden village in their growing number of alliances and politics were surprisingly much harder to deal with than a volatile organization of demon-hunting criminals so she guessed that he’d probably made a pretty smooth move in that respect.
Which had lead to her current situation, one that was surprisingly focused around her. No petty bit to goad Naruto into slipping up and losing his life and the nine tails, not a weird bid to hold her as a bargaining chip. Just a simple display of power from an increasingly strong country not afraid of her mentor or her people. He requested her only because she was the Fifth's apprentice, a valued and world-renown medic, and above all an asset to the village. It was a blatant message that he could do as he pleased.
Which, in her opinion, sucked pretty hard.
With months of litigation that had Tsunade nearly bloodthirsty with the crushing stress of losing a loved one and a favored student in a single day and losing a fighting battle against the village council- both old and young, for once. It was decided that sending Sakura to Ame was the only way to avoid a devastatingly unmatched battle and the lives of thousands of their own shinobi in the process. So, with a tearful and very hesitant goodbye, one of which Naruto had to be restrained to avoid 'unwanted demon unleashings' in the Kage tower, she was sent off to Ame accompanied by armed guards that normally wouldn’t intimidate her if it hadn’t included infamous clan-killer Itachi Uchiha and a large man who shared an unnatural kinship with her least favorite underwater predator. Not that she would be running off anytime soon. It wasn’t like they kidnapped her. It was a trade between villages, a truce that her village wouldn’t be demolished in exchange for only one of their prized shinobi.
So, in a way, she couldn’t really complain...much. They were silent and respectful on the long trek to Ame. Her rations of food had been extravagant for travel rations and her accommodations (namely a sensibly comfortable bedroll in a single person tent) were comfortable and though the eerie presence of two Akatsuki had snubbed out any chance of truly feeling at ease, for the current situation she had to admit that things could certainly be worse. Like, impending and bloody murder worse.
Upon arrival, she was thrust into a dark and surprisingly lavish office and put face to face with legend itself. She’d heard of him, obviously, though being in the room with him, being under his careful gaze was an entirely different thing.
Unsure of how to continue, she took a seat in one of the leather armchairs seated in front of his desk, crossing her legs and trying to look as casual as possible as he addressed her by name. His voice was deep and his mannerisms reserved and almost regal in nature. She could see that his claim to godhood was something he seemed to take very seriously.
After something she could almost consider a negotiation ensued her purpose at the village was explained in careful detail. Going in depth about the limitations of her service and the restrictions (there were few) of acess she had to certain parts of the expansive building as well as the standard to which she was expected to hold herself, technically being considered somewhere higher in the village hierarchy than the masses due to her affiliation with the Akatsuki. She would nearly consider this a legitimate trade if not for the underlying threat of mass genocide at any sign of disloyalty. Though, in some respects, Pain was a lax and relatively uncaring leader and his system of government was ran similarly. He didn’t have any specific military force, simply the overwhelming threat of several deadly ninja and a village made up nearly in its entirety of tough-looking and overtly threatening citizens. It was a strange system that made the impression that he hadn’t really needed to make many changes to what they had been before, which was a shady criminal organization hellbent on power and destruction.
She kept these thoughts to herself, of course.
As he was finishing up his facade of pleasantries a second person had slipped in perfect silence into the room. It was a nearly familiar face, though she couldn’t place where she’d spotted him before. He was a man bisected down the middle by stark white flesh on one side and pitch black on the other, shaggy evergreen hair swirled around the crown of his skull and he watched her with curious, but hesitant gold eyes.
“This is Zetsu. He will show you around the base.” Pain nodded, a pointed look lingering for a long time on the strange man before sliding back to her, giving only a small nod of acknowledgement before the duo colored man was in the doorway, expecting her to follow.
She trudged silently behind him, trying to appear interested as he pointed off various doors and explained who resided behind them. Though she was only half listening when he lead her into a small but surprisingly equipped laboratory. Only one examination table sat in the center of the room and a little door near the back lead to her persona quarters. A small part of her found it insulting to have her practically living in her working space, but she held her tongue.
The room provided to her was, once again, surprisingly lavish. A large bed sat in the center of the room, covered in comfortable white sheets and by the smell it had recently been cleaned and the sheets laundered for her expected arrival. A large writing desk sat in the corner of the room and a walk-in closet was available beside the entryway to her personal bathroom, which included a deep bathtub that could be used for multiple people and several bottles and tubs of various bath products sat on the surface of the marbled countertop beside her sink. She nearly had to stifle a laugh at the fact that the Akatsuki had provided a gift basket as Zetsu lead them back into the med lab, walking over to the large floor-to-ceiling cabinets that covered the eastern wall, handing her a set of keys as he spoke.
“...here is where we keep the pharmaceuticals. It needs to stay locked for obvious reasons.” He sighed, and Sakura had to wonder just who had gotten into the painkillers to encite such a rule.
He made a short walk to the last cabinet near the back wall, the wall that was shared with her bedroom and as he swung open the doors a second cot fell from it’s folded state, it wasn’t nearly as nice as the one in the center of the room but it would be continent if she had more than one patient, though she sincerely doubted they got hurt as often as a regular shinobi.
“We don’t have many who will require your services, but this should require some extra space if it is required of you. Some of us just sew ourselves back together.” He explained at her sceptical look, stuffing the bed back into it's cabinet as he turned back towards the door.
It made sense, she had heard rumors of immortals lurking within the organization, but it wasn’t what she had envisioned, rumons or immortality usually just equated to a very strong opponent. Though by Zetsu’s unimpressed tone of voice she was beginning to doubt it was simply hyperbole.
She said very little aside from one-word answers as Zetsu finished his tour of the facility, taking her to the ground floor of the massive building and leading her through Ame’s industrialized mass of neon lights. A small clinic had been built not far from the facility and she wondered why they hadn’t simply provided her a living space here, but figured it was probably for some sort of mystical reason Pain probably wouldn’t elaborate on, therefore Zetsu wouldn’t elaborate on. Though if she could take a stab at it, she assumed Pain didn't trust her. Rightfully so, as she would have sooner punched a hole in his head than join his ranks but life has a funny way of throwing you curve balls and now she was here.
She would be the private medic to the Akatsuki during weekday hours and she’d run a small clinic on the weekend for the citizens as they had no suitable hospital to speak of, something Sakura was absolutely appalled by, and she was expected to take patients as well as lead a small team of medical students who would join her once she found their skills adequate to assist her. Pain also mentioned a specialized case he would like her assistance on but wouldn't reveal much when she asked reasonable questions on the case, explaining that he would request her later in the week.
Overall Sakura found Zetsu to be quiet and nearly polite, but unbearably creepy and someone she would no doubt avoid at all chances possible.
So, that’s how she found herself polishing various medical instruments in the Akatsuki base, trying to find something to do, with no hope of rescue or escape. Hell, the thought wasn’t even in her head. She came here on political terms and there was no reason for her to attempt anything. She wasn't an undercover, she was now a citizen. She was just… living with a group of mass murderers in a village that openly screamed ‘forbidden fruit’ and she was treated as a regular village exchange, with an uneasy sense of trust and a short leash.
The sound of knuckles softly wrapping against the doorframe to her lab drew her out of her thoughts. A head of mussed black hear and a bright orange mask fell under her curious gaze. She’d unknowingly lifted her shoulders in surprise at the unexpected guest and found herself unable to conjure words. So she just looked at the man expectantly, sparkling scalpel still pinched firmly between her fingers.
“Tobi would like some help from the pretty nurse.” He said in a high-pitched and obviously put on voice, nearly sounding mocking in it's nature.
That was certainly unexpected. She recalled the masked ninja from her fight near Suna when her team was attempting to intercept Gaara’s captors in the forest. Though, to her knowledge the masked shinobi had been obliterated not soon after in one of Deidara's explosions. The unexpected, childish tone to his voice also threw all alarm bells in her head for reasons unknown, and her eyes drew sharp of their own accord.
“And where is he?” She questioned, noticing the curious cock of the masked man’s head as he pointed a gloved finger towards his bright mask.
“I’m Tobi, silly.” he responded gleefully, seemingly unfazed by Sakura’s hesitance as he skipped into the room, practically throwing himself onto her examination table as he pointed towards his chest, currently hidden behind his thick cloak. His long legs swung freely off the table and she narrowly missed a kick to the thigh.
“Okay…” Sakura sighed, trying to conceal her suspicions by placing the scalpel back into it’s pan and turning to face the man, hands alight with healing chakra as she approached. This wasn’t exactly what she’d expected on her first day on the job, but at least it would be something to do.
He unbuttoned his cloak with one hand, eerily sure and swift in his movements, reminding Sakura that though he seemed a bit on the off side that he was still a skilled ninja that had probably killed plenty of people to earn his place in the organization. Though, unlike the few she had seen in bingo books and her rare encounters as a chunin, he didn’t wear his slashed headband signifying his status as a missing nin. She idly wondered where his place of origin could be as she examined his internal state with her probing chakra, confused as she looked to the spot on his chest where he had been pointing not long ago, now certain there wasn't any illness or injury that resided there.
When his cloak fell open she was surprised to see thick, toned muscle beneath. He was a large man, nearly two heads taller than her and as he sat on her examination table, uncomfortably close to him as she tried her best to keep a distance, it felt suffocating.
“Can you elaborate on your injury?” She questioned, brows knitted as she examined the plain, white shirt that stared back at her. She was startled when his own had shot down between them to slowly lift the bottom of his simple top, sliding it beneath his chin and holding it there as the singular eyehole of his mask bore into her. Sakura had seen much worse in her days, but the deep and angry scars that marred the right side of his body still surprised her, though she concealed it with perfectly honed professionalism. They didn’t look like burn marks, but she couldn’t place what else they appeared to be. They were long healed and she sincerely doubted there were the cause of any pain he may be experiencing. His presence in her lab was feeling less like an inquiry and more like a test. She didn't like the strange aura rolling off the man.
“I don’t see any wounds.” She remarked, looking up into the solitary eyehole of his mask, straining her eyes to see something beneath but only darkness resided there. She pulled away, still put off by his silence and looked at him in question.
“Can you remove them?” He questioned, she jolted slightly at the drastic change of pitch and manner of speech that he had seemingly reverted to, but she straightened herself out quickly, not wanting to appear intimidated by the masked man. Though she made a mental note to take caution in his presence, he'd clearly been looking for a different answer and by the clipped and slightly restrained frustration in her voice, she assumed he'd been hoping for another answer. As she pressed her hands to the deeply scarred flesh, she tried to explain his condition with delicacy, not looking to spark any kind of resentment in the man on her fist day, she didn't need to make any more enemies than she already had in this place.
“The scars have overtaken this portion of skin,” She explained, chakra-infused hands massaging the rough sections of flesh, she could feel the scar tissue nearly permeated the muscle beneath, too deep to be a superficial burn, “This portion of skin would need to be removed entirely and graphed as I created new flesh. It would be pointless and time consuming, not to mention dangerous.”
“I don’t care.” He repeated, tone still heavy and nearly demanding. It rubbed her all the wrong ways and her face reflected her annoyance. She didn't like her time being wasted and she most certainly didn't enjoy being spoken to like she had no choice. She considered for a moment reminding her that she wasn't his subordinate. She answered to Pain and if he thought her medical advise lacking he could find another damn medic willing to do the procedure.
“No ethical medic would undertake such a needless procedure. It’s not causing any damage or impeding you in any way. I will not do it. You'd be at risk of serious infection if I tried and I don't think Pain would appreciate the recovery time necessary to give the new flesh time to heal and lose it's sensitivity. I will not.” She responded somewhat tightly. Pain had explicitly told her that she should prioritize overall convenience in getting each member back into the field as soon as possible, which is what she intended to do as healing Akatsuki wasn't her favorite hobby by a long stretch.
“You would do well to remember your purpose here.”
His tone sent chills of discomfort up her spine but feeling homesick and quite a bit ticked off, she shot him a hard glare and turned back to polishing her already sparkling tools, not feeling like dealing with a potentially deadly altercation most likely not in her favor.
It felt like long minutes before she heard him fix his dressings and edge off the examination table. Things were silent after, and she could sense him just standing behind her, staring at the back of her head. As a shinobi, it was almost impossible not to be on edge with someone at your back. The man must have known this, as he hung around almost daring her to decline him. It was poor etiquette and outright rude but she kept her thoughts to herself as she hid her tools away in a drawer, washed her hands and shouldered her way past the man and out of the clinic, the jingling of her keys echoing through the room as she escaped into the hall.
Not sure what to do with her evident free time, she found herself in the large library Zetsu had introduced her to this morning. It was expansive and well organized. Not a single speck of dust on a single volume. It smelled comfortingly like ink and paper and she found herself wandering the expansive bookcases in unmasked awe.
Medical documents, forbidden jutsu and several volumes on the past of prominant clans and history books she’d never even known existed stared back at her. It was a haven to someone such as her and her thoughts of homesickness fell back in her mind as she pulled a few interesting medical texts from their shelves, tucking them under her arm as she made her way back to her lab, luckily it was now vacant.
She took a seat in her rolling chair, leaning against the examining table as she soaked in a particularly interesting piece, eyes scanning over the page as she stored the new information into her mind. If she had any latent abilities that gave her a head start, a photographic memory was one she could slip under her belt, no all-powerful kekkei genkai necessary.
Hours passed without any more weird incidents, so she climbed into bed after a very luxurious bath (complimentary lavender bubble bath included) and finally let the thoughts she’d stored in the back of her head all day out and in the open as she felt her cheeks grow hot with tears.
She missed her home.
She would miss Naruto, she’d miss Kakashi and she’d miss Ino more than she could express. She’d miss her home and her job and long hours in the office with Tsunade and Shizune. She’d miss her potted plants that would no doubt shrivel and die now that she passed them on to her blonde idiot of a friend. Maybe she just left them in his care as a small hope that she would be able to return before their untimely demise.
It was a fitful and ultimately futile attempt at sleep, and she found herself climbing out of bed and into the clinic. She didn’t bother changing out of her pajamas as she had shut the door before her attempt at sleep, so when she flicked the switch and let sterile, white light fill the modest space she felt at home. Her small clinic smelled of antiseptic solution and it was a small space that felt for a second like home, like the hospital she’d poured days and nights of tireless work into.
With little to do, she just organized and counted various tools and medications. It was a small time-filling activity that kept her just busy enough to silence her frayed thoughts.
The sound of a small knock at her door roused her once again as she pulled her lab coat around her small frame, suspiciously peering through the small slit as she cautiously pulled the door open a fraction.
Though she should be thankful it wasn’t the unnerving stranger from earlier, a new and still unnerving stranger stared forward into the wood of the door for a second before sliding to meet her own stare. Peculiar lavender met green as she held his stare for a moment, until the door was jammed open rather forcefully and the man made himself at home in her small space by carelessly hopping onto her examining table with a grunt.
What made this interaction particularly unnerving was the fist-sized hole in the space where the man’s heart should have been, though it beat at a steady pace in the mans bloodied hand. He was getting blood all over her freshly sanitized surfaces, but seemed to just stare expectantly at her for a long moment as she tried to piece together what she was seeing.
There wasn’t much to say in the way of ‘how’ as it didn’t really concern her what happened, nor did she really want to know. It was the ‘why’ that made her skin crawl just a bit at such an unnatural sight. She’d suspected Zetsu wasn’t exaggerating, but this was a bit extreme.
As she approached the man who was strikingly handsome, even in his current form. With shimmering silver hair neatly slicked back and pettily long eyelashes that framed his piercing eyes and complimented his sharp and masculine features. His cloak laid open, revealing a muscular frame coated with thick, congealed bloody gore and an almost perfectly circular hole.
“Does… what… what do you want me to do?” She stumbled through her examination. Noticing his body was functioning normally save for the blood that sat stagnant in his veins without the driving force of his heart to operate it. He should most certainly be dead by now, brain dead at the very least and every second that passed Sakura just expected him to keel over for lack of oxygenated blood travelling to his brain, but he simply stared.
“What the fuck do you think?” He hissed, eyes narrow and angry as he shoved the slippery heart into her hands, shocking her to the point that she feared she was going to drop it onto the floor, he pointed to the hole in his chest as his stare seemed to intensify.
“Uh,” Sakura responded lamely as she awkwardly used one hand to place the slick organ back into the cavity, using her free hand to repair the damage surrounding it as she reconnected the major arteries. In nearly half an hour under the crude man’s glare she had him fighting fit with nary a scar to indicate that the man’s heart had been ripped from his chest cavity when he had entered her clinic. She was feeling quite proud of herself as she washed the gore from her hands and hummed happily.
She was turning to tell her ‘patient’ that he was free to go when the collar of her coat was ripped down her shoulders, leaving them bare safe for the thin strips of fabrics that connected to her tank top.
“What the fuck are you doing?” She demanded, cuffing both of his wrists in a chakra-enhanced grip, something the large man surely didn’t expect as he was now staring at her with a slightly bemused expression, he didn’t respond to her question save for a rather forceful kick to her legs that was met with no give. She’d emassed her chakra at the point of impact and his blow had been easily absorbed and was hardly felt save for a slight red mark appearing on the surface of her leg.
Her grip tightened on his hands and she heard the distinct snap of one of his wrist bones giving out beneath the pressure. To her surprise the man hardly indicated to feeling anything at all except for a small, crooked smile that gave a dangerous flash of pristine white teeth, perfectly squared and aligned.
“That’s interesting.” He grinned darkly, “You looked so fucking pitiful. I thought you’d enjoy a thorough lashing.” he sighed, looking to the flogger than was laying inconspicuously on the floor, having been knocked from his hands and onto her now bloodstained floors.
That had been an unwelcome and pretty disgusting comment and Sakura was now remembering the kind of people she was currently sharing a living space with. She tightened her grip, uncaring at the continued snap of bones that echoed through the room as she considered what to say. A witty remark wasn’t coming to mind and being truthful Sakura felt that if she instigated him in any way that he’d linger long enough to catch her off guard. That and her chakra was pretty sparse from the rigorous healing and she had hardly slept save for a few fitful hours.
She was saved the tedious task of trying to figure out how to proceed when an equally strange character popped his head into the doorway. His features were dark and hidden behind a mask and a cowl, only a set of haunting eyes visible, unnaturally dark scalars and vibrantly colored irises only settling on the silver haired man now grinning down at the small pinkette, practically teeming with some unwarranted manic desires at her grip and she quickly realized he was enjoying the crushing pressure that had snapped at least a few bones in his wrists and hands.
She released him quickly, backing against the counter as he took a menacing step forward.
“Hidan.” The secondary figure called, voice deep and gruff and demanding.
“Fuck off a sec.” The one known as ‘Hidan’ responded, voice surprisingly smooth and velvety despite the carelessly thrown vulgarities as he towered over the pinkette who met his gaze with careful suspicion, prepared to fight if necessary.
“Now.” The man repeated, apparently growing annoyed.
“Fucking bossy cunt.” Hidan snarled under his breath, practically dragging himself away from the pinkette as he turned to the doorway.
She released a breath she’d been holding and turned to grab some cleaning supplies from the cabinet to mop up the extensive mess left behind from the now incredibly unwelcome guest.
Seconds passed and she whirled around as a wide and impossibly sharp weapon slammed into the wall beside her head, burying itself deep in the plaster and sending a small plume of dust from the point of impact.
She was now facing the manic grin she’d thought she’d escape, the promise of something horrible in his eyes as he faced her.
“Two for flinching.” He whispered, pulling his scythe from the wall, creating yet another mess for her to clean up in the process, the bastard.
She eyed him carefully as he turned to leave, wanting desperately to send her fist through his skull but restraining herself as she realized with a deep dread that if the man could survive the gutting she’d healed that he would probably be fine if decapitated. Though, she supposed, she could always beat him until he was a stain on her floor. Though that would be another mess to clean up in the long run, and she didn’t particularly want to see what Pain looked like angry if his natural demeanor was already crushingly intimidating.
As the door to her clinic slammed shut behind him, Sakura was left in her blood-soaked and now dusty space.
If this was only the first day she didn’t know how she could make the rest of… possibly forever work.