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Goro tried to catch his breath. Akira had invited him to the attic under the guise of discussing thief business, but it had quickly turned into a makeout session.
Akira smirked as he watched Goro pant. He glared at Akira and pinned him to the bed, attacking his lips. Akira's tongue licked over his lips and Goro parted his mouth. Their tongues brushed and Goro moaned. He felt Akira chuckle beneath him and the vibrations sent tingles down him.
After what felt like hours of kissing, they parted again. Akira's mouth was a pleasant shade of pink. Goro imagined his were in a similar state based on how sensitive they felt. He admired how Akira looked under him, so disheveled and raw.
Goro tried not to flinch when he suddenly felt a hand come up to cup his cheek. It was silly, considering what they had just been doing, but he couldn't help but feel his heart stutter at every sign of affection Akira showed. Akira's smile softened.
"I love you."
It's been so long Goro has heard those words, laced with kindness and dripping with feeling, that Goro felt he was being lied to. It seemed impossible that anyone could love him, much less Akira.
Akira, the boy who gave Goro the warmest smiles. Akira, the leader of the Phantom Thieves. Akira, the boy who made the most delicious coffee Goro had ever tasted. Akira, the boy Goro was supposed to kill.
"Goro?" Akira's voice broke through his thoughts and Goro looked down to see Akira with a worried expression. "It's ok. You don't have to respond."
His arms wrapped around Goro's trembling frame (when had he started trembling?), and he pulled him down to the bed. "It's ok, Goro."
Goro clung to the boy and buried his face in his chest. He felt Akira's hand softly brush through his hair. Goro didn't say anything, just held onto Akira as though he was his lifeline.
The last thing Goro remembered before he drifted off to sleep was Akira softly whispering in his ear.
"I love you."
**********************
It's hot. It's so hot as he was stripped naked. Akira was above him, trailing hot kisses across his collarbone and down his stomach. Goro’s head spun, it’s so much and yet not enough.
Goro sat up and for a minute Akira stopped, lips wet and eyes wide. Goro stared at him before he reached to take Akira’s shirt off, marveling at the toned body and wincing at the faint scars he saw.
“Goro,” he heard Akira whisper. And that’s all it took before Goro was on his lap, grinding their cocks together. Akira kissed him like a man starved and Goro was hesitant to get lost in the heat of the moment.
But Akira tangled his hands in the light brown locks and pulled his hair back, exposing Goro’s neck and allowing him to bite and suck on the flesh there.
“Ngghh...Akira,” Goro moaned.
“Fuck, Goro, christ,” he heard through the blood pounding in his ears. “You sound so good, you’re so perfect Goro.”
Akira laid him down on the bed gently and captured his lips in another kiss.
“I love you,” he said against his lips. “So much Goro, let me take care of you tonight, baby.”
Goro nodded as Akira unbuckled his own belt. He watched with delight and ran his hands along the twisted scars on the boys torso with a gentle touch, admiring the way Akira shivered as he dragged his fingers along the ridges.
“Let me show you,” Akira whispered into his skin as he kissed down his stomach. “You’re wonderful Goro, so beautiful and perfect.”
Goro arched into his touch, his words an added spark that drove him wild.
**********************
"You like Joker, don't you?"
Goro flinched and looked at Morgana, ready to argue, but Morgana beat him to the punch.
"That smile before we fought, wasn't that how you really feel? Follow your true feelings!"
That was the problem. Goro didn't know how to feel about Akira. He thought he hated him, and all his powers and friends. Akira had everything Goro had ever wanted and it felt like he never had to work for it. He was jealous of him.
He thought he wanted him dead, and he had said as much earlier. But he couldn't help but remember that feeling of relief he had, seeing Akira alive. Knowing that he hadn't put a bullet in the boy's skull. Hoping that those moments they had shared hadn't been destroyed.
Goro shoved that part of his mind to the back as he focused on his rage. There was still a chance he could salvage his plan. He chuckled before he let loose.
——————————-
Sirens blared. Goro listened to everyone react as they realized what he had done. There was no way this would make up for the things he had done, he knew that. But at least they'd be safe. He'd be safe.
"Promise me, you'll take down Shido in my stead."
He heard pounding and yelling on the other side as Akira tried to break the door down.
"Please, Joker," Goro begged. He couldn't leave things like this. He needed Akira to agree. He couldn't stand the thought of that man going unpunished, even if it wasn't by his own hand.
Goro heard a sniffle and then heard Akira's voice. "I promise."
Goro smiled and aimed his gun at his cognition.
Shots rang out.
A sharp pain blossomed on his chest and Goro collapsed. His body started to feel cold and his consciousness started to fade.
As he heard Akira's screams, he closed his eyes and remembered his voice. "I love you," he had said. Those words rang in his mind as everything faded to black.
——————————-
Goro woke to curtains and the sharp smell of alcohol. He eyes widened as he realized he had woken up. He should have died.
Goro's heard a gasp and he whipped his head around to see Akira sitting in a chair next to him.
"Goro," he choked out. Akira's eyes began to fill with tears. He pressed their foreheads together.
"I was so scared."
"Why?" Goro managed to rasp out. His throat felt rough, as if he had been out for days.
Akira lifted his head and looked into Goro's eyes. He smiled softly and said, "Because I love you."
Goro couldn't think of a reply. After everything, Akira still loved him. He had tried to kill him multiple times, and yet Akira still loved him.
And Goro realized, he loved Akira. This boy who had changed his life. This boy who had given him a chance. Goro loved him.
And yet, as Akira slowly explained what had happened, Goro couldn't bring himself to say those three words.
**********************
The snow softly fell as Goro made his way to Leblanc, hands tightly keeping the wrapped present against his chest.
He was nervous. He hadn’t bought anyone a Christmas gift since...
It had been a while.
Will he like it? What if he hates it?
Goro shook his head as if trying to shake those thoughts from his mind. This was Akira. This was his boyfriend.
He loves you .
That fact was still so frightening to him. Akira Kurusu loved him. Akira Kurusu loved him. And he loved him back.
Why can’t you say it, then? Why are you afraid?
Because-
He was finally standing outside Leblanc. Gathering up some courage, he texted Akira that he was standing at the door. Within seconds he heard his boyfriend running down the steps and rushing to the door.
“Merry Christmas, Akira.”
Akira stood there and smiled before kissing him in the doorway. Whenever Akira kissed him, it was like the world melted away around them. It was only them, only the two of them in this space.
However, Akira was in a t-shirt and boxers, so getting him back into the warmth was a priority.
They made their way up the stairs, Goro finally relaxing once he was sitting on Akira’s bed.
“I...wasn’t expecting you babe.”
He blushed at the nickname. “You think I wouldn’t come visit the savior of the world on Christmas? You must think very little of me.”
Akira laughed and knelt at Goro’s feet, placing his head in his lap.
“It was scary, you know.”
“It certainly looked it.”
Goro started playing with Akira’s hair. It always calmed him down, maybe it would calm Akira’s shaking.
“I’ve missed you, babe. I’m glad you’re doing better.”
Goro didn’t respond and kept playing with his hair. The fear was coming back. The fear that Akira was going to wake up one day and decide that he wasn’t worth all of the trouble. The fear that Akira would disappear from his grasp.
“Goro? Hey what’s happening?”
He hadn’t realized his breathing was speeding up. “I-it’s nothing, I promise,” he said as Akira moved to sit next to him on the bed. Akira rubbed his back and whispered soothing words in his ear, but he couldn’t calm down.
“I love you,” he heard.
“Stop it.”
Silence.
“What?”
“You shouldn’t...say that.”
“I shouldn’t say that I love you.”
“Stop it,” he repeated.
“I’m not going to stop, Goro.”
“Well, I think it would be wise if you did.”
Akira moved back a little.
Ah, it’s starting .
“Why would I do that Goro?”
Because...because...
“No good can come from it, Akira.”
Akira froze where he sat. The silence was defining in the attic, the only noise was the wind coming through the cracks in the window.
“No good...”
“No need to repeat what I said.”
“Oh, but I need to. I need to understand where this is coming from, babe.”
Goro stood up. “I think I need to go.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Well, I disagree and I will be going now.”
“Goro, babe please.”
“Leave me alone, Akira.”
As he tried to walk away, Akira’s arm reached out to grab his wrist. “Not until we talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Tell me why I shouldn’t say it, Goro.”
“Because.”
“Sound reasoning you’ve got there.”
“I don’t need your sarcasm, I need you to let me go.”
Goro gasped as Akira pulled him close to his chest. “Never. I almost lost you once. Not planning on letting you go any time soon,” he said with a smile.
He will realize you’re not worth the trouble .
He will realize you’re unworthy of his time .
“What?”
Ah .
“I-“
“Why are you thinking like this Goro...no stop trying to get away.”
“Let me go...please.”
“Just explain to me-“
“Because the last person who told me they loved me killed themself!” he screamed.
More silence.
“How about that, huh? My mother said she loved me and killed herself. She was...she was the only one until you, Akira. And even though she loved me she decided I wasn’t worth staying for, I wasn’t worth enough to her. And it’s my fault...I needed to be better and I wasn’t.
So loving me will...not give you anything. Loving me clearly brings nothing good about.”
Goro stared at the cracks in the floor. It was a rather dusty room Akira lived in. He should have cleaned more for him, maybe done the laundry to help, he thought as he started to walk away.
“Loving you brought light into my life, Goro,” Akira spoke.
Goro kept his gaze on the floor.
“Goro you’re my sunshine. I’m so happy to know you, to get to spend time with you,” he continued, as he cupped Goro’s cheek and made sure he was looking at him as he spoke.
“Being with you these past few months has been all I wanted. It’s more than what I’ve wanted. You’re an amazing person, I am so happy that you’re here with me. I’m so happy that you let me into your space.”
“I...”
“I will never leave you Goro, I swear to you,” he kissed his cheek as he said it.
Goro felt the tears well up in his eyes and Akira was already there to catch them as they fell. “I will always be here,” and Akira held him in his arms as he cried.
It was a while before either of them spoke after that. Goro sniffled as he look at Akira. “T-this wasn’t how this night was supposed to go,” he uttered.
Akira kissed his forehead and smiled. “Should I open my present, then?” Goro nodded and followed Akira to his desk where the gift was.
“You really didn’t have to, you know?”
“I wanted to.”
The boy tore at the wrapping paper until he saw the journal, dark leather and he gasped.
“It...looked like the one you usually use was filling up.”
Akira smiled as he looked at the journal and ran his fingers along the pages inside. Goro had meant to write those three words on the first page but he chickened out at the end.
Soon .
“Yeah it has,” Akira commented. “I’ve had a lot of good things to write about.”
**********************
Goro knew that Akira didn’t invite him over for another study session. It was a rainy night and he had made an offhand comment about his heater in his apartment not working, so for the past few weeks Akira had been inviting him to stay over so he could help him “study.”
When they were lying on Akira’s bed the other night, Goro pointed out that they hadn’t studied a single thing every time Akira pulled this stunt.
“Except anatomy,” the dark haired boy pointed out.
And Goro threw his math textbook at him.
Tonight, however, Goro was working on a crossword puzzle as Akira washed dishes in between studying for English. The TV volume was so low it was nothing but soft background noise against the downpour outside.
Akira occasionally came and ruffled his hair and tried to help him with his puzzle before Goro shooed him away and told him to do his homework. Akira stayed a little longer, wrapping his arms around Akechi’s back and humming a familiar tune before placing a kiss on the top of his head.
But Goro didn’t mind. Akira made him feel warm and happy and it was becoming more and more of a familiar feeling. He couldn’t put a name to the feeling.
“Hey,” came Akira’s soft voice. Goro jumped and dropped his pencil. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It...it’s ok. I was just lost in thought.”
“Anything worth mentioning?”
“No, my thoughts are rather unimportant.”
Akira reached over the counter and placed a kiss on his lips. “Nothing about you is unimportant, babe.”
Goro bit back a smile then.
“Oh, here, I made your favorite,” Akira said, pushing the coffee cup towards his boyfriend. Goro thanked him before placing his book down. Akira went back to the other end of the counter to finish up his homework while Goro took a sip.
It tasted warm and delicious. He looked over at Akira, watching as he twirled his pencil in his hand and bit his lips in concentration. He took another sip of the coffee.
It tasted like late night whispers and soft kisses.
It tasted like hands gently combing his hair after he woke up from one of his nightmares.
It tasted like a soft smile and dark, curly hair beaming at him like he was the sun.
It tasted like...
Like...
Home .
“I love you, too,” Goro says.
Akira drops his pencil.
And under the golden lighting of Leblanc’s interior, Goro smiles as he watches his boyfriends face turn pink.
