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Tell me you love me

Summary:

''I've loved you for 6000 years, Angel.'' Crowley whispered, barely audible.

Aziraphale stared at the snake eyes, he'd always thought were beautiful and wondered, how does he put 6000 years of love, anger and hurt into a kiss?

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Crowley finds out that being very in love and very drunk do not go well together. Aziraphale just wants to take care of him.

Notes:

After like four hours of writing I finally finished this at 1:55am. I apologize for any typos and I hope you enjoy reading this :)

Work Text:

Armageddon had been stopped, the bentley and the bookshop were recovered from fire and heaven and hell weren't going to bother Crowley and Aziraphale anytime soon. The world wasn't in ashes and to celebreate, The Angel and The Demon both sat in Aziraphale's bookshop drinking glasses of wine. Crowley laid on the soft sofa, glass in hand, moving the small bit of wine that's left in the glass little circles.

''I was expecting to be dead right now.'' Crowley said, casually. Aziraphale might've turned his head a bit too fast to Crowley because his head started to hurt ''What?'' He managed to slowly blurt out and sunk a bit deeper into his arm chair ''Y'know if the world hadn't been saved,''

Crowley paused to drink the last bit of wine, ''All humanity would've gone, nothing would be left.'' Aziraphale frowned, but was taken off guard when Crowley started to laugh.

''What? What's so funny?'' Aziraphale asked, wondering if he hadn't heard a joke ''That's what's funny! I thought the whole-the whole world had ended before the actual thing happened!'' Aziraphale cocked his head to the side, trying his best to understand what Crowley meant

''My dear, I think we've both had too much to drink I think it's better if we-'' Out of nowhere Crowley's breath started to shake and his wine glass dropped to the ground. The sound of glass breaking was like a splash of water in Aziraphale's face, he quickly sobered up with the help of a miracle. Aziraphale got out of the arm chair and crouched beside Crowley, looking his face over.

''Is everything alright? What's the matter?'' He asked, voice full of worry, but still managing to sound calm and comforting.

Crowley used his elbows to push himself up and sit on the sofa, his breaths fast and short. He looked at Aziraphale but didn't say anything, he just stared through the black tint of his glasses, Aziraphale's eyes staring back at him "My dear boy, talk to me, please.'' Aziraphale said quietly and moved even closer, taking hold of Crowley's hand, running small circles over it with his thumb to try and calm him down.

Crowley choked out a sob, breath catching in his throat when he tried to speak ''The fire-the,'' he gasped for air, short of breath, ''It was so scary, Angel,'' he whispered and Aziraphale squeezed Crowley's hand softly, reassuring him to continue.

''There was a huge fire. You weren't- You weren't there I couldn't find you!'' He cried out and Aziraphale quickly brought him into his arms, Crowley clinging to him immediately and crying into Aziraphale's shoulder. One of Aziraphale's hands in Crowley's hair and the other slowly rubbing his back ''Shhh, It's alright now, I'm here, I've got you.'' He whispered softly.

After a few minutes of whispering and shushing, Crowley's breathing had finally started to go back to normal. His grip in Aziraphale's jacket had loosened and Aziraphale wasn't saying anything, just holding him, listening to Crowley's breathing and feeling the way his chest went up and down the same times he drew his breaths. When it seemed Crowley was calm again he slowly let go of him and stood up to only sit back down on the sofa right next to him, and took a hold of Crowley's hand again,

''Tell me what happened, my dear. I'm right here to listen.'' Crowley sniffed and took a deep breath before speaking ''I found your bookshop in flames.'' Crowley said softly, looking at the ground in shame of losing it like that in front of Aziraphale. He had sobered up now and noticed how embarrassing his sudden outbreak of emotion had been.

Aziraphale waited patiently for Crowley to continue, not taking his eyes off of him ''I looked for you, I called for you. I thought-'' He breathed in another deep breath before continuing ''I thought some demons had-...had found you. It'd make sense for them to come after you. And that the fire wasn't-wasn't just ordinary fire, but hellfire and that you-''

Crowley shut his eyes and shivered at the thought. The thought that it was hellfire that burned Aziraphale away, the thought that Aziraphale would've died alone and that maybe Crowley could've prevented it. Maybe if Crowley had tried harder to convince him to go to Alpha Centauri, or maybe, just maybe if Crowley had just drove faster. That's all it would've took.

''I didn't care much after that. Nothing really mattered anymore.'' Crowley whispered as a tear ran down his face but he quickly wiped it away, feeling embarrassed from showing so much emotion.

And he really meant it. After he thought he'd lost Aziraphale, his world had already ended. The only thing that made those 6000 years worth of living was the thought that he'll see Aziraphale's face some time soon again. And the last words Crowley had said, the last expression Crowley had seen on Aziraphale's face was hurt. Hurt from Crowley saying that he won't think about him while he's off in the stars.

But that's the thing. Crowley never left. He got rejected, but he didn't leave. Instead, he got back into his car and started driving back to Aziraphale's bookshop. He wasn't gonna take no for an answer, not when Aziraphale saying no could lead to his total destruction.

If Crowley hadn't used his holy water on that demon, he would've used it on himself.

Eternity without Aziraphale by his side wasn't worth living.

Aziraphale noticed that Crowley was done talking and decided to speak up.

''I'm sorry you thought that's what had happened. Look at me, Crowley.'' He said softly and after a few seconds Crowley did look at him.

Aziraphale let go of Crowley's hand and used both of his hands to take off Crowley's glasses, placing them on the table. He smiled when he could finally see the yellow eyes Crowley hides. Aziraphale never understood why, he thought they were breathtaking. That there was no need to hide them, but Crowley always insisted. Yes, some humans would find them scary, but Aziraphale never would. One hand cupped Crowley's left cheek, wiping away at the tear that was in the corner of his eye.

''I'm right here. The bookshop is alright and so am I. There were no demons, no hellfire. Just a silly misunderstanding between a human and I.'' He spoke slowly, reassuringly. ''The world is not ending. Heaven and hell aren't going to bother us. We're both safe now. We're both okay.'' Crowley's eyes drifted away and he began to speak again,

''I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I was drunk-''

''We were both drunk, my dear. Emotions aren't the easiest to handle in that state. I completely forgive you.''

Crowley looked back at Aziraphale and then stood up, Aziraphale's hands falling back to his sides. Crowley walked towards a bookshelf and ran his finger along the books as he passed it, ''So many years wasted,'' he whispered ''We're always talking around it. I've wanted to tell you for so long.'' Aziraphale stood up as well and started making his way towards him ''Tell me what, Crowley?'' He asked and Crowley frowned.

It suddenly hits Crowley that he's afraid. The fear of being rejected overwhelming him. So many years leading up to this and it's time to decide if he wants to be brave, to finally take the risk and just say it, or be a coward and keep his mouth shut. He's stayed quiet for as long as he can remember, so how hard could it be?

''You can tell me anything. I won't run away. I'm your friend, Crowley.'' Aziraphale's voice calm and honest.

Aziraphale is so kind, too kind and Crowley hates it yet at the same time, there's nothing he loves more. It's what he fell in love with first. Aziraphale's kindness is what brought him to giving away his sword. No matter what punishment that could've brought, he did it anyway.

Crowley's eyes flash to the door and he sighs, he can't do this, his head is all over the place ''I think I should go. Take the Bentley out for a ride'' he starts, and his eyes drift to the broken glass on the carpet for a few seconds, ''I've made enough of a mess as it is-'' He starts heading to the door, before Aziraphale puts his hand on his shoulder and he freezes ''Please, Crowley. I want you to talk to me.'' Crowley hears the hurt in Aziraphale's voice and his heart aches. Aziraphale just wants to understand what's bothering Crowley.

Aziraphale spots the shards of glass on the floor in the corner of his eye, and with a small swift move of his free hand, the glass is back together and on top of the table. Crowley hears Aziraphale's footsteps from behind him and now the Angel's standing in front of him. Crowley's eyes immediately fall and Aziraphale frowns.

''We're on our side now. Don't you remember?" Aziraphale says chuckling softly and that earns a small smile from Crowley.

'''Thank you, Angel. But I really need to go. It's not that important.''

He said and tried to move past him, But Aziraphale moved with him, blocking him off.

''You said that so many years had been wasted. Why?''

''I was just joking.''

''Crowley, don't lie to me.''

''Angel, for heaven's sake I'm not lying-''

''Crowley.''

Crowley fell silent and stared at the Angel in disbelief that he wasn't letting this go so easily. Aziraphale moved a bit closer and slowly raised his hands up to Crowley's face. Crowley gasped quietly and melted into the touch, maybe a bit too suddenly and closed his eyes

''My dear boy, do you not trust me anymore?'' Aziraphale whispers ever so softly and Crowley opened his eyes at that, could say glared.

''What kind of stupid question is that? Of course I trust you.''

''Then tell me what you've wanted to say for so long. Trust that I'll stay by your side after whatever it is you've said.''

Crowley stares at Aziraphale, who now gives him a reassuring smile.

Aziraphale is so close to him, their noses only a few inches apart. Crowley hadn't noticed he was holding his breath until he started to feel lightheaded. Crowley felt his eyes starting to sting again and groaned, turning his back to Aziraphale and walking away a few steps.

''What the hell is going on with me today...'' he muttered to himself and after about a minute turned back to face Aziraphale. Aziraphale gave him another comforting smile, patiently waiting.

This time it was Crowley who stepped closer. Crowley closed his eyes for a moment and internally cursed at himself for the romantic act he was about to do. He looked at Aziraphale and sighed, taking his soft hands in his own and didn't move his stare back up.

''I've loved you for 6000 years, Angel.'' Crowley whispered, barely audible.

Aziraphale stared at the snake eyes, he'd always thought were beautiful and wondered, how does he put 6000 years of love, anger and hurt into a kiss?

Now that Crowley had said it, he felt like he needed to get it all out.

''Since the dawn of time I've loved you.'' Crowley continued and softly laughed, but as he blinked a tear fell in Aziraphale's palm.

''I loved you before I even knew what it meant to love. You were the one that taught me what love was, what it meant to love. What it was like falling in love.''

Crowley sniffed, more tears running down his face,

''You're all I've wanted. You're all I ever will want, Angel.''

Aziraphale stared at Crowley in shock, his eyes wide and breathing uneven.

''Oh, darling...Is that what you were so afraid to tell me?''

Crowley just nodded, still not looking up at him.

Aziraphale wanted to see him, so he freed one of his hands from Crowley's grip and brought it up to Crowley's face instead, while he interlaced his fingers with Crowley's with his other hand.

He slowly pushed Crowley's chin up so he was making eye contact with him. His eyes drifted to Crowley's lips, he licked his own and then looked back up at Crowley.

''You should've told me sooner.''

And with that Aziraphale's eyes fell shut and his lips were against Crowley's.

The kiss was as passionate as passionate could be, considering it had 6000 years of love put into it.

Aziraphale pulled away and they were both breathless. Crowley opened up his eyes and they met Aziraphale's

''How could've I told you sooner? I did everything except say the actual w-'' Before Crowley could finish, Aziraphale's lips were back on his.

Crowley's hands flew to hold Aziraphale's face, while Aziraphale's slid down to his waist. They both stumbled backwards a bit and a soft thud was heard when Crowley's back pressed against a bookshelf, some books falling over, which Aziraphale can worry about later.

One of Aziraphale's hands moved up to the back of Crowley's neck and he deepened the kiss, licking inside of Crowley's mouth and making a beautiful sound come out from the Demon.

Their bodies were pressed together but not as close as they both wanted them to be. Aziraphale pulled away from the kiss and placed kisses from Crowley's cheek to his ear, down his jaw, to his neck. Crowley sighed and wrapped his fingers in Aziraphale's hair, as Aziraphale lightly nibbled and sucked at one spot on his neck.

''You sound so wonderful, my dear.'' Aziraphale said against Crowley's neck, his hot breath making Crowley shiver and let out a quiet moan in response.

The bookshelf behind Crowley was starting to get uncomfortable, so with the help of a small miracle they were in Aziraphale's bedroom. Aziraphale pulled away from Crowley and looked at him in awe. Crowley's eyes opened up slowly, his lips were slightly parted and his cheeks were a bright red, Aziraphale could look at him forever.

They both kicked their shoes off and Aziraphale's hand slid down to the bottom of Crowley's shirt ''May I?" He asked and Crowley nodded ''Please do.''

Aziraphale pulled the shirt off and Crowley started undoing the buttons of Aziraphale's shirt, his hands were shaking in the way when you really want to get to something, so it was apparent that he was slightly struggling. Aziraphale noticed and laughed quietly, pushing Crowley's hands aside and undoing the buttons himself. Crowley rolled his eyes, but then they went back to watching Aziraphale's hands work their way around the buttons.

Crowley pulled the shirt off of Aziraphale the second the last button had been undone. They both took a moment to just look at each other, thinking of how beautiful the other is.

Crowley absolutely loves how soft Aziraphale is and Aziraphale absolutely loves Crowley's sharp edges.

''You're stunning, my dear.''

Aziraphale whispered, lightly running his hand down Crowley's chest.

''Never seen someone as beautiful as you, Angel.''

That made Aziraphale's cheeks heat up and he chuckled, before turning Crowley around and pushing him onto the bed.

''Gabriel had told me to lose some of the, uhm, gut.''

Aziraphale said quietly as he hovered above Crowley, using his arms as support to hold him up. Crowley put his hands on Aziraphale's shoulders, running them down his forearms and then back up. Crowley scrunched his nose up in disgust of the way Gabriel treated Aziraphale. He hasn't forgotten what he said to him before he stepped into the fire.

''He's an idiot. You're perfect the way you are, don't you dare listen to him.''

''I wasn't planning to, my love. I've grown to like this body.''

''So have I.''

They both laughed and Aziraphale leaned down to kiss him softly, as he leaned down his thigh brushed against Crowley's erection and a deep moan escaped the Demon's throat.

Aziraphale smirked softly, as he brushed against it on purpose this time. Crowley hissed at the contact and the grip on the Angel's shoulders tightened. Aziraphale noticed they hadn't gotten to removing the lower part of their clothing and leaned back so he could take off his belt. Crowley watched him with an immense amount of lust in his eyes, eyes flashing to Aziraphale's face and back to his crotch.

''Let me.''

''Crowley said and pulled Aziraphale back on top of him, his hands going down to his pants, he actually made an effort to get Aziraphale out of them this time.

''Concentrated now, are you?''

''Oh, shut up.''

Once they were undressed to their underwear, Aziraphale went back to kissing down Crowley's neck, to his chest and further down until he reached the line of the stretchy fabric. Aziraphale's hands softly gripping at Crowley's thighs. His thumbs rubbing small circles in his inner thighs.

''Please, Angel- Oh, please.''

Crowley said, panting between words. Aziraphale looked back up at him,

''What is it you want, my dear boy?''

Crowley inhaled deeply, desperate and needy now,

''You, I want-I want you...Inside of me''

His sentence got quieter towards the ending, Aziraphale smirked to himself and gave a soft kiss to Crowley's right inner thigh, ''What was it you said?'' Crowley threw his head back, groaning, becoming impatient ''Fuck, Angel, please..'' ''I couldn't quite hear you.'' ''I want you to fuck me, please, oh, fuck-'' Crowley let out a loud moan when Aziraphale ran his thumb over Crowley's tip, the soft fabric still in the way. He wasn't gonna torture him anymore, Aziraphale wanted this as much as him.

Aziraphale freed Crowley of his underwear and his own seconds later. And with a quick miracle Aziraphale coated his fingers with lube.

''Won't you lift your legs for me a bit, my love?''

Aziraphale asked sweetly, to which Crowley immediately obliged. Aziraphale inserted a finger and Crowley moaned softly, his fingers gripping tightly onto the sheets next to him,

''Oh, so wonderful. The sounds that come out of you.''

Aziraphale whispered as he curled his finger making Crowley moan louder and his eyes roll back into his head. After a few seconds of that, Aziraphale added another finger, and then another, he curled them and twisted them until the only words coming from the Crowley's mouth were ''Please, Angel.''

Crowley never had imagined it feeling this good, he'd only fantasized of this, but never thought it'd actually happen. He certainly never would do this with just some human, he only wanted Aziraphale. Aziraphale is the only one he's wanted from the very start and he finally has him. The Angel above him is praising him and loving him, It's all he's ever wanted.

Sweat beads were forming on Crowley's forehead and his voice had slowly started to become hoarse from how much he'd been moaning. From how good Aziraphale was treating him, so gentle and sweet.

''You're doing so good, dear, so very good.''

Crowley whimpered at the words and gripped the sheets tighter. Aziraphale thought that he'd prepared him enough and finally pulled his fingers out of him. Crowley whined loudly at the empty feeling. Aziraphale miracled some more lube onto his fingers and spread it evenly over his own length. He leaned over Crowley and softly kissed him as he lined himself up. Crowley's legs locked around Aziraphale's hips and his hands flew to hold onto Aziraphale's shoulders.

Aziraphale inhaled deeply as he felt Crowley stretch around him, taking him in, Crowley's nails started digging into Aziraphale's skin and Aziraphale hissed at the painful feeling, but it was overlapped with pleasure in seconds. Aziraphale was slow, he didn't want to hurt Crowley, never wants to hurt him.

''You're taking it so well, you feel incredible, my love. ''

Aziraphale breathed out as he started to slowly move, Crowley replied to the action with a long low moan.

''Faster, Aziraphale, please, ohhh..''

He begged and Aziraphale smiled in the crook of Crowley's next, speeding up.

It was so good, too good. Crowley was becoming overwhelmed, he's wanted this for so long it's unbelievable. Never in a thousand more years he would've expected Aziraphale to feel the same way. He thought that once it was said and done that Aziraphale would grow distant, conversations wouldn't be the same, meetings would be canceled and that they'd stop talking all together. That's hell in Crowley's eyes. Without Aziraphale there's nothing else to love. Not even humanity.

''I adore you, Crowley. I adore everything about you.''

Aziraphale was starting to pant as well, he was placing light kisses against Crowley's neck, a sweet act to which Crowley softly smiled at as long as he could before moaning again.

The words echoed in Crowley's ears, that Aziraphale adores him. The Angel he's wanted for over 6000 years adored him. Crowley let out a sob, along with a moan as Aziraphale continued to thrust against his prostate.

''A-angel, please tell me- ohh, fuck!''

Crowley cried out in pleasure, his eyes have been squeezed shut for who knows how long. Aziraphale turned his head to look at Crowley

''What would you like me to say, darling?''

Crowley finally opened up his eyes that were now wet with tears, and tried to steady his breathing before he spoke up

''Tell me you love me.''

Crowley whispered softly, looking into Aziraphale's eyes. Aziraphale's pupils were huge, he was definitely in love.

Aziraphale slowed down his thrusts, so he could focus more. He propped himself up on his arm and used his right hand to hold Crowley's face and wipe away the tear that had started to fall. Aziraphale smiled, so much love in his eyes, so much lust and admiration.

''Oh, my sweet boy...''

He whispered, as he pushed some strands of hair out of Crowley's eyes.

''I love you so very much.''

Aziraphale said softly, giving so much emotion into each word. Crowley smiled the biggest smile he could manage as the tears went loose. It was completely overwhelming how much joy and pleasure he was feeling. Aziraphale leaned into kiss him and pounded into him as hard as he could, making Crowley scream.

Aziraphale was still propped up on his arm so he could see how Crowley threw his head back in pleasure, how the tears on his face shined, how his mouth hung open, releasing ragged breaths and moans.

Crowley looks marvelous.

Aziraphale leaned back and gripped at Crowley's hips, dragging him up and down his cock, stimulating his prostate with each thrust.

''So beautiful the way you sound, so gorgeous the way you're laid beneath me. You're fu-''

Aziraphale hesitated but Crowley looked at Aziraphale, like he was dying to hear what he had to say and Aziraphale gave him what he wanted.

''You're fucking magnificent, Crowley.''

Aziraphale said and threw his own head back, thrusting harder and faster, he was getting close and Crowley looking like that wasn't helping.

Crowley's nails must be digging holes in the sheets from how tightly he's gripping onto them. Each thrust knocked the air out of Crowley's lungs.

''Angel- Azira, fuck, Aziraphale!"

Crowley wouldn't be surprised if all of London could hear him right now, how annoying it must be for the people stuck in traffic, hearing how well Aziraphale was treating Crowley. It would've been one hell of a deed of the day.

Aziraphale leaned back down, interlacing his fingers with Crowley's and putting them above his head, Aziraphale couldn't get enough of how beautiful Crowley looked.

''Aziraphale, please, please say you love me- oh, fuck!''

Crowley threw his head back and Aziraphale took it as a chance to kiss it and lightly bite it. Aziraphale then leaned closely to Crowley's ear, softly kissing it.

''I love you.''

Aziraphale whispered and thought of when he used his wing to shelter Crowley from the rain at the garden of Eden.

''I love you.''

Crowley whispered back and thought of the time Aziraphale had tempted him to some oysters in Rome.

''I love you.''

Aziraphale said and thought of when Crowley walked inside of a church for him, he thought of how Crowley knew Aziraphale cherished his books and did a miracle to keep them safe. Just for him.

''I love you!''

Crowley screamed and thought of the first kiss they shared, only about an hour ago, and how 6000 years of pining had come to an end.

Aziraphale saw Crowley squeeze his eyes shut and heard him sob out in pleasure, he felt how Crowley's legs trembled against him.

Angels can sense love, that's nothing new, like the time they were driving through those woods and the time they stepped foot on the what used to be a hospital.

And now it was when Crowley was holding him.

Aziraphale has never felt this much love.

He's never felt this loved before.

Crowley loved Aziraphale, he could feel it.

''Since the dawn of time, Angel.''

He heard Crowley whisper and just like that, he reached his climax.

After a few minutes of them panting and still holding onto each other, as if the world might crumble if one of them let go, Aziraphale moved himself out of Crowley and fell next to him. They were both way too tired to do anything except lay in bed, so Aziraphale miracled them both clean and reached for a blanket, placing it over Crowley and him. Aziraphale crawled closer to Crowley and wrapped his arm around him, pulling him close and kissing his cheek.

Crowley chuckled quietly and turned around so they were facing each other. Aziraphale smiled at him and pushed the hair out of his face,

''Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?''

''Shut up-''

''No, really. They're so pretty, darling.''

Crowley leaned in and kissed Aziraphale softly, Aziraphale took it as a 'Thank you'.

''I hope this wasn't just a one time thing, Angel or I swear-''

''Don't be silly, love. I said I wouldn't run away and I meant it. I'll stay with you as long as you like.''

Crowley smiled and moved closer into Aziraphale's chest.

''Can I say for Eternity? Or is that too fast for you?''

Aziraphale laughed, and rubbed Crowley's back with one hand, while he used the other to run his fingers through Crowley's hair.

Aziraphale kissed Crowley's forehead and shut his eyes, already drifting off to sleep.

''Eternity it is.''