Chapter Text
"Would you mind delivering these to Kanako, Atsushi?"
Atsushi turned to the voice of his mentor and beamed. It wasn't often that he got out and roamed Yokohama's streets. To be honest, said shop was only three blocks away. And while his anxiety had gotten better about wandering around by himself, he still felt the occasional panic when night crept in. Though, it wasn't like his mentor allowed him to shut himself in despite his wishes and while he got a better hang of his ability, sometimes, it still scared him at how easy it would be to go back to the old days.
"I don't mind, sensei," Atsushi smiled as he approached a box, seeing that it was a pile of old literature. "Hey, why are you giving these away? I haven't even finished this book," He complained as he picked up a particular work that he'd been immersing himself with lately.
"Because all of it would be put to better use in the library," His mentor nonchalantly replied as he seemed to be studying a document. "And if you really want to read it, you can always go there to finish it. I won't have you staying inside here all day." The man's words became clipped and admonishing.
Atsushi cringed, recognizing the man's words for the truth.
Regardless, it had been more than two years ago when he was deemed ready to go interact with the city again. But it wasn't like Atsushi had taken to that idea very well. In the man's study, he'd been freed from the cruel reality that made up his life. It was infinitely better after his mentor rescued him that fateful day. And while he would like nothing but to get lost in the books and devour all of them in the man's quaint study, he had been expected to at least go outside and get some fresh air.
That had been the other's condition.
If anyone were to meet him outside a year ago, they'd find Atsushi cowering, barely able to even stutter out a greeting, before he was hurrying away from the conversation. Still, he gradually came to an acceptable level where he could interact again with strangers. Atsushi even came to like his numerous trips outside.
"When you get back, we have things to discuss," The man continued, his attention still elsewhere.
"Understood," Atsushi readily answered despite his confusion about the matter as he wore his black baseball cap.
Hefting the box of books, he sighed forlornly as he eyed his latest fixation. He wondered if he could ask Kanako to lend it to him until he'd at least read it twice. But, knowing his mentor, the man had instructed her that he could only access it if he read it in the library. He huffed at the thought. He remembered a time when his arms would strain against the weight. His mentor then had exasperatedly ordered him to use his ability to hasten things up.
Back then, he'd been terrified of doing it, knowing his capabilities. Atsushi had been of the belief that his ability could only be used to hurt someone as he'd been repeatedly taught before.
It had taken some time before he was comfortable enough to even show the barest hints of fur on his skin once more. It had taken even longer for him to accept that he didn't have to go back to the way he was before if he used his ability.
Atsushi was still learning.
"I'll be back by dinner!" He called out as he opened the door.
Sometimes, this life was too good to be true.
oOo
Atsushi slumped on the table. Dismayed that he had been proven right. He'd even bought a box of manjū because those were Kanako's favorite. But, alas, his mentor's word was law to particular people here in Yokohama and this was no different.
"Nice try, Atsushi-kun," Kanako Hanami, a woman who looked to be in her twenties but Atsushi knew otherwise and would not dare mention that to her face, said from across him. "But thanks for the treat anyway," She smiled at him as she idly sifted through the numerous books.
"But then I'd have to be here every day," He muttered to himself.
"I'd appreciate the company," Kanako merely put in, obviously enjoying his plight judging by the way she practically sang her words.
"Of course, you would," Atsushi smiled helplessly.
"Cheer up, would you, kid?" She laughed at his resigned expression. "You know your boss only has your best interests in mind. This way, you wouldn't have to spend all your time there locked up. It's not like you hate going outside. Not everybody's out to get you, you know." She gently assured him as she pushed the open box of manjū towards the center of the table, conveying that she intended to share with him.
He stilled at her words.
The excuse that his guardian had fed every person that Atsushi came into contact with was that he came from an abusive orphanage. Which wasn't exactly a lie, considering that it was the place that was the root of all his misery. But it wasn't the whole truth either. It was the in-between from that and now that was the crux of the matter.
This world is frightening, he reflected somberly with just a hint of fear.
Trying to shake those thoughts away, he grabbed one of the sweets and stuffed it into his mouth in one bite.
"Chew before you swallow and don't go choking to death in front of me," The tone was playful despite the words and her eyes twinkled over one of the pages as she stared at him, having gotten used to some of his antics.
"Hmmmph?" His words were stifled by the food in his mouth, chewing.
"I don't speak gibberish," Kanako deadpanned. "Is there anything else you would like? You'll be turning eighteen next week." She mentioned offhandedly.
Atsushi tilted his head as he swallowed.
"But I turned eighteen last week?" He asked more than stated, baffled.
Suddenly, she stopped what she was doing and stared at him blankly. It was as if the noise around them died a sudden death. And, for a few moments, Atsushi blinked as her jaw dropped in stunned disbelief. Then, red bloomed across her whole face as she stood up from her chair and slammed her hands on the table. He shrunk backwards, not understanding what was warranting this reaction.
"What's the date today?" She demanded brusquely, her eyes practically narrowed into a glare.
"Uhm, May 11th," Atsushi hesitantly answered.
"Damn it, I was so busy last week with the delivery of a new batch," She lamented as she fisted her hands, gritting her teeth before her head snapped to the box on the chair beside her, obviously contemplating something before she grabbed one of the books from there and tossed it to a shocked Atsushi. "You know what, screw your boss. Take that as my offering for forgetting about your birthday." She huffed as she crossed her arms.
"Kanako-san, you shouldn't have!" Atsushi gushed, momentarily forgetting the situation.
"It's not much–" She started with a frown.
"No, no, no," He insisted as he stared back at her as earnestly as he could. "You don't have to get me anything. The fact that you thought about it is already enough." He smiled as he hugged the book to his chest.
Atsushi didn't tell her that he always intentionally made himself scarce on that day because there was nothing to celebrate.
Her gaze softened.
"Kid, you're too precious for this world," She leaned forward and reached across the table to ruffle his hair.
He froze.
As if remembering herself, she hastily pulled her hand back.
"L-Let me get some tea," She cleared her throat and tried to waved off the suddenly tense atmosphere.
He gave her a terse nod and watched as she excused herself to do as she said.
It wasn't her fault, he knew. But the reaction was so ingrained into him that he couldn't help it. Even his mentor had delegated himself to merely giving his shoulder a squeeze to show appreciation or gratitude. Most of the people who personally knew him were aware that he didn't react well to some gestures no matter how much he forced himself to believe that it was different from back then.
It was times like this that reminded him that the past would always haunt him.
oOo
The sun was starting to set by the time he decided to go back home.
He'd tried apologizing to Kanako but she refused his apology, adamant that there was nothing to forgive. He still felt guilty though and instead promised himself that he'd bring her another box of desserts the next time he'd stop by.
He was just crossing the bridge that would lead him around the block of where he lived when Atsushi saw him. To be honest, it was a ridiculous image with lanky legs sticking up of the river as if the person himself had just randomly decided to jump and left it at that. For a moment, he was torn. Still, that could either be a dead body or someone who was drowning. If it was the former, it was something that he didn't want to get involved with. He'd already had enough of that from that one time.
If it was the latter, however–
Atsushi didn't hesitate to jump in when he saw the body already floating away in the river. In hindsight, he probably should have. As he swam in a rather frenzied state, he merely grabbed an arm and pulled. Fear got ahold of him at how pliant the body was in his hold. He coughed out as he struggled to pull himself and the person out to the riverbank. Releasing his grip, he dreaded that he was already too late and the other was already dead. But he flinched when the body moved and slowly sat up.
"Are you all right? You were–" The words died in his throat when the man turned to properly face him.
Another kind of terror seized him because as soon as he got a good look at the man he had just rescued from death, his whole world seemed to stop and suddenly, he was back in the Port Mafia. When there was blood on his hands, on his face, when he struggled to get up from the floor from being backhanded ruthlessly, from when he'd always been forced to fight to the death with a boy who could've been his first friend, when he'd stared at that single auburn gaze as if all his worth was–
"Atsushi-kun?"
Except Dazai Osamu was staring back at him with two wide eyes.
Atsushi didn't dare speak or breathe, feeling that familiar crippling fear getting ahold of him. His world seemed to shrink until all it comprised of was this teen– no, man. It was frightening how easy it had been to fall back to that thought pattern without difficulty after four years.
"Atsushi-kun?" Dazai repeated, sounding unexpectedly hesitant and not making any sudden movements which was confusing.
Back then, the brunet having to repeat himself meant pain because he wasn't paying attention. He'd never thought of the day that he'd meet Dazai again. After his mentor had assured him that he wasn't going back to the Port Mafia, one of the relieving revelations had been being freed from his 'former mentor'. Still, to come face to face with him right now, he realized that it was his worst nightmare.
For a few seconds or minutes, he couldn't keep track of how long because his nerves were getting the better of him, both of them just stared in cautious silence.
He's going to take me back, a frantic whisper sounded in his mind, the panic that steadily trickled in making it harder to breathe. He clenched his hands by his sides, wondering if there were men lurking around waiting to capture him just like the first and last time that he'd tried to escape with the punishment reminding him to never entertain the thought again. He knew that he couldn't outrun them forever, his mentor had said as much, but this was too soon.
Atsushi couldn't help the flinch when Dazai suddenly laughed.
"You really have the worst timing," The brunet merely said as he brushed a hand through his drenched locks, Atsushi's eyes warily following the movement. "You interrupted my suicide. I could've crossed over from the mortal coil and yet, here you are." The man sighed as if he was greatly inconvenienced but it lacked the caustic quality that usually accompanied his reprimands.
The teen didn't let his guard down.
Though, he remembered countless of times when the brunet had mentioned about dancing with death numerous times. But that was usually accompanied by the heavy whiff of sake or blood that wasn't his. Right now, all Atsushi could get from him was the scent of soaked bandages and dried up sweat.
"My goal was to pursue a clean and pure suicide. One that wouldn't cause trouble to anybody." Dazai stood up then gave a sort of smile that was familiar, one when he was contemplating something entertaining and that usually spelled cruel things for Atsushi's future. "Since I've caused you an inconvenience, let me offer some form of compensation. It's almost dinner time, why don't I treat you to something?"
Despite the baffling pleasantness of his words and voice, there was no room for argument in Dazai's smile.
Atsushi felt trapped.
"N-No, I have to go," He tried to stutter through the haze of fear, away from this man.
Dazai's smile faltered and his eyes shined with something that Atsushi was familiar with but found it alien on the brunet. It was what caused him to stay rooted on where he stood. Dazai didn't make that face. Ever. The only one he could remember making that expression in the Port Mafia was the man's partner, Nakahara Chuuya.
The way Dazai's expression shuttered was more familiar.
Still, before his body could decide between running and staying, someone intervened.
"Dazai!" A rather enraged blonde practically snarled from across the river, making Atsushi jump. "So, this is where you've been all this time, you stupid suicide-obsessed maniac!" The blonde's face was twitching in an effort not to blow up, that much was obvious.
Atsushi stared at the other with wide eyes. Wondering if this was a new member of the mafia while he'd been gone. Was this Dazai's back-up? His mind was already frantically trying to calculate what it would take to get out of here. If he used his ability, maybe he could make a break for it as long as he didn't let Dazai touch him. Was the blonde also an ability user? He didn't know but his priority wasn't to fight anyway–
"Kunikida-kun! Great timing! It's time for dinner! And we're both hungry!" He waved excitedly and took obvious delight at how the other was practically vibrating with fury, making Atsushi falter in his thoughts.
Now, he was staring at Dazai.
"Stop being generous with my money, you idiot! Haven't you already had enough of ruining my plans?" The blonde called Kunikida growled, hand clenching around a notebook.
Dazai gave Atsushi a narrow-eyed side glance, the corners of his mouth curling into a familiar smirk.
"Stay," He ordered and his lips pursed when Atsushi subconsciously straightened at the command in his voice.
No, run, you idiot! He's going to kill you! Atsushi inwardly yelled at himself but found that he was paralyzed with the familiar terror that had always haunted him when he was in close proximity with Dazai Osamu. It was like all the adjustments and efforts to change he'd been doing all these years was gone in an instant. Like shedding away an ability, no matter how stronger it had gotten, so easily as Dazai's touch of No Longer Human.
The man then grinned good-naturedly (alien, alien, alien), completely ignoring the other as he turned to the blonde.
"Say, Kunikida-kun, you won't mind if we have chazuke for dinner, won't you?"
oOo
As Atsushi watched them fall into another argument with Kunikida trying to strangle Dazai to death, Atsushi wondered if the world had already ended for the past four years that he'd lived in isolation. Because right now, Dazai was letting another person manhandle him and not shooting said person. Atsushi could vividly remember that the last person who'd acted too casual around Dazai had gotten stabbed in the hand.
Just who was this blonde man? Is he Dazai's new superior?
Why am I still alive? His hands shook on his lap at the thought.
"Oy brat," Kunikida slammed his hand on the table making Atsushi freeze. "Aren't you going to eat that? The food's getting cold," He scowled darkly before his gaze snapped to the contemplative Dazai whose eyes were now on the teen.
Atsushi felt his skin prickle at the attention.
"It's not poisoned," Dazai eventually said, every muscle on his face calmer than a second ago. "If that's what you were wondering," He smiled almost pleasantly.
The untouched bowl of chazuke in front of him seemed to be mocking him.
His stomach churned in discomfort as he recalled a time when Dazai had served him a poisoned meal. The way his insides seemed to burn, the vomiting of blood, the overwhelming pain and weakness, horribly delirious and crying out for death over the never-ending suffering. He'd remembered waking up in the infirmary at Mori's tender care and never quite trusting anything edible that Dazai had given him. In fact, he remembered other members following his example after that incident.
"What do you want from me?" Atsushi whispered under his breath, unable to take it any longer.
"Look here–" Kunikida gave an offended expression.
"Nothing," The brunet cut in, eyes quite not meeting Atsushi's. "Absolutely nothing. Is it really that odd to want to catch up with an old friend?"
Kunikida's gaze snapped to Dazai in evident surprise.
Static filled Atsushi's ears. A detached coldness seemed to take over his senses.
It was an emotion that he didn't feel often. But when he did, he could remember all the times that he'd harbored it and why. He swallowed against the dryness in his throat, finally pushing past the haze of fear. Why was it that Dazai get to live in this carefree way when he couldn't let the past finally rest even after years? Why was Dazai so unaffected while Atsushi reverted back to that terrified young boy at the mere glimpse of this man?
"Don't screw with me!" Atsushi found himself screaming as he stood up and slapped the bowl of chazuke off the table, not even caring about the attention of everyone in the restaurant. "I don't know what you're planning and I don't care. But whatever it is, just stay out of my goddamn life!" He yelled at the stunned blonde and pensive brunet before stumbling away from the table and dashing out of the establishment.
He had to warn his mentor. The Port Mafia was now after him.
All because Atsushi screwed up and saved the last man he should be saving.
oOo
"Listen to me!" Atsushi was now yelling after hysterically explaining that the Port Mafia would be breaking down their door any minute now.
"Atsushi, calm yourself–" His mentor was saying, still not facing him from where he was compiling some papers.
Said teen slammed his hands on the table, ignoring the tremors that ran down his arms.
"How can I stay calm?" Atsushi glared at his mentor before pacing in front of the man, severely agitated especially at the nonchalance the man was displaying. "I just told you that I met one of the executives! And knowing that man, he'd burn this place to the ground. Please listen to me, we have to run away." He pleaded once more, wanting the man to finally see reason only to receive the same treatment from earlier.
"Take a deep breath and think. You're panicking unnecessarily. What you need right now is a sound mind." The other merely replied, still completely unbothered.
"Natsume-sensei!" He cried out in dismay.
"What good will running away exactly do?" Natsume Souseki, his savior and mentor, turned to finally face him with a frown. "I'm already an old man. Running won't do me any good. Besides, I already told you. The Port Mafia had stopped their pursuit of you a long time ago. But if it worries you that much, I've actually made arrangements for your future." With that, the man then tossed the documents he'd been arranging towards the teenager.
Staring cautiously at his mentor, he carefully peeked at the papers.
What he saw on top was an admission paper with his name and picture on it.
"Armed Detective Agency?" He repeated to himself quietly, not exactly understanding what he was looking at despite having heard of the group.
"You've already turned eighteen and can be considered an adult by society's standards," Natsume leaned on his cane, staring at Atsushi intently. "I did as much as I could but I can't keep sheltering you forever. Especially when I now have somewhere to be. You've got to learn to stand on your own feet. And with your previous background, it would be hard for you to start normally. My pupils have built their own organizations for the gifted. I think you would flourish in one of them," He smiled fondly at this.
Atsushi swallowed, suddenly released from his earlier fear, as he considered the facts laid out before him. He'd always known that Natsume was needed somewhere else, as the man had taken to disappearing more frequently nowadays. He didn't know, even after all these years, what his mentor exactly did. He was an author in his free time but other than that, Atsushi barely knew.
What he did know was that this man was powerful enough to hide him from the Port Mafia for as long as he had done.
"But," He started meekly. "My ability. It's an ability that only hurts other people." He said quietly as he sat down on one of the chairs, not daring to believe just yet.
"What your ability will be is always up to you," Natsume gently told him as he stood up. "But what's important is that you don't lose that kindness. It will be the one to give the necessary direction and limits to your ability. In fact, I think you'll fit in right there. The agency is made up of people dedicated to protecting the city with their abilities. And if the Port Mafia is after you, it would be beneficial to have that kind of backing." He reached across the table and patted the teen on the shoulder.
"Do you think I can do it?" Atsushi asked worriedly, biting his lip. "But won't that just mean I'll be putting everyone there in danger?"
"Don't underestimate yourself, or them for that matter," His mentor merely offered a smile and left it at that.
For the first time in his life, he finally saw a future that he could continue on, not always wondering if he'd just waste away existing.
He wondered if this was what they called hope.
oOo
It was only that morning that he realized that he'd lost his cap and he'd gotten the book that Kanako had entrusted to him drenched when he'd jumped into the river.
Without his cap to cover his unique bright shade of hair, he felt absolutely naked walking around the streets of Yokohama.
As always, Natsume was thorough in his work. Or, if Atsushi really had to guess, he'd been planning this for a long time. Especially now since he was staring at a tall red brick building that supposedly housed the illustrious Armed Detective Agency. He looked down once more at the address written on the paper just to make sure that he had it right. His palms were sweating and there was a persistent chill that clung to his skin that spoke of his anxiety.
"Just look for Fukuzawa Yukichi and give him the papers. He'll know what to do with you." Natsume had instructed him.
He didn't want to set his expectations too high but–
Would he finally find a place to belong?
Just to stall for time, he'd taken the stairs instead of the elevator. He'd encountered a ginger haired teen and a dark haired girl descending them who gave him curious looks. They must've detected his nervousness because they both gave him matching small smiles. Atsushi couldn't help but wonder if they were a couple from the way the girl clung to the other teen's arm rather possessively.
Still, when he reached the fourth floor, his feet seemed to have a mind of its own because he'd been reduced to pacing in front of the door.
He suddenly had a lot of questions. He realized that dedicated to protect the city wasn't exactly a proper job description. The name itself suggested that the occupation itself was being a detective which would need investigative and analyzation skills. He had a bit of experience on the former but he was slow on the uptake for the latter. There was also the fact that he would have to use his ability. Would he be needed to needlessly harm and kill again?
What if he was making the same mistake like with the Port Mafia? Though, he didn't exactly have a choice back then.
He trusted Natsume with his life now but he'd trusted Mori beforehand too–
"Do you have a case for us?" A voice suddenly piped up and Atsushi whirled around in shock. "If it's interesting, you can give it to me." A squinty-eyed guy told him, his head peeking out from the doorway of the office.
"U-Uhm, no," Atsushi quietly answered, hands tightening around the envelope in his hands. "I'm looking for Fukuzawa-san," He gulped as the other's eyes opened wider to reveal surprised intense green irises.
Then, before Atsushi could further elaborate, the man stepped out and closed the door behind him.
"Ok, it's obvious that it's not government stuff or a delivery," The other concluded as he still fixed his penetrating gaze on Atsushi, particularly on the envelope he was holding. "And that you're here for personal reasons. Now that's a first. You don't look like much, kid, but this, I gotta see. So, I'll take you to him," He said it in such a way as if it was a privilege.
"If you're sure," Atsushi was confused but decided he could follow him.
"Whatever's inside that envelope is important to you. And you've been lurking by the hall for the better part of fifteen minutes." The unnamed man smiled widely at Atsushi's wide eyes. "I'd say that it was a case but, for some reason, the President is expecting you." He kept on rambling as if he had seen who Atsushi was a mile away and the longer that he was put under this scrutiny, he was scared that he'd give away more.
"A-Are all of the members like you?" He laughed nervously, questioning himself now if he had what it takes.
This guy was too much. In some ways, it reminded him of Dazai. And that thought alone was enough to make him uneasy again.
"Of course not," The guy scoffed as he crossed his arms, staring at Atsushi in disbelief. "There's only one like me. I'm Edogawa Ranpo, the best detective in the world. There aren't any interesting cases lately so I've been bored out my mind in the office. Besides, you're still quite young but you don't look like a student and your footsteps are eerily silent for a person. Going from that, I'd say you've got an interesting job before?"
This guy is dangerous, Atsushi concluded as he carefully studied the other.
"You could say that," His brows furrowed, afraid that whatever he said could be used against him.
"There's nothing that my Super Deduction couldn't see through," Edogawa tapped his temple as he finally trudged through the hallway towards the door just next to the office. "It's the amazing ability that always helped the police catch the criminals around this city." He boasted rather smugly.
To Atsushi, it sounded like a threat, so he didn't say anything.
He wondered just what other kind of characters made up the agency.
As they neared the President's office, a familiar voice sounded from behind it. It was yelling angrily and quite loudly at that. The aggressive undertones made him twitch and Atsushi couldn't put a finger to where exactly he'd heard it before or from whom. Was that the President? Would he get yelled at too? Did he come at a bad time? However, judging from the way his companion perked up, Atsushi would say that the other found it interesting at the very least.
Edogawa Ranpo, it seemed, didn't care about what might be happening inside that warranted the yelling because he was undeterred as he opened the door and showed himself in.
Atsushi hesitantly peered from the door way–
"Yo, Pres, I've got the guy–" Edogawa was saying as he raised a hand.
–and came face to face with two people he'd never wanted to see again.
Maybe he was making a mistake after all because there was no way he should be looking at Dazai Osamu, demon prodigy and youngest Port Mafia executive in history, in the Armed Detective Agency who looked as equally surprised to see him.
"Does your last statement still count?"
To his trepidation, Dazai looked entirely too pleased with the sudden turn of events.
TBC.