Work Text:
Hi, my name is Jody and I would like to nominate my good friend Dean for Queer Eye. Dean is a very attractive guy but as a former soldier he’s never truly realized that he doesn’t need to live like one anymore. He’s allowed to have fun and to take care of himself, and he does deserve it so, so much. Ever since he’s come back from Afghanistan, Dean’s worked himself to the bone running a phone and internet helpline, and if it wasn’t for his help when my husband and son tragically died in a car crash, I would certainly have killed myself. So that’s why I wish the Fab Five can help Dean as he’s literally saved my life.
{Fashion}
Tan: So, Dean. Pardon me for being forward but you’re a very attractive man! Why don’t you show it off a bit more? You’ve got a nice body, why not put it forward more?
Dean: I dunno. I just…I don’t go out much I guess. I work a whole lot and there are not many clothes from…before that still fit me. I mean—
Tan: Oooh yeah I certainly can’t imagine you leaving the womb with those broad shoulders. How many sizes did you go up while in the army?
Dean: I—uh. I actually don’t really know. I haven’t actually bought any clothes since I’m back.
Tan: What?! How can you have not bought any clothes in, what? Five years? How old are the clothes you’re wearing right now?
Dean: Well, I think this sweater was actually a gift from Sam from last Christmas, so it’s not that old, but those sweatpants…I dunno. I think they might have been my dad’s?
Tan: This is really not good, Dean! I’ll be sure to thank Sam personally for renewing your wardrobe a bit, but one new sweater every few Christmases is not enough. You need to have clothes that fit you and that make you confident. What outfit did you have in mind for the fundraiser you’re hosting on Friday?
Dean: I didn’t really think about this, really. I focused mostly on the we-need-funds-to-keep-the-helpline-afloat part.
Tan: All right, all right. What about a going out outfit? Don’t you have one of those? What kind of clothes would you wear if you went on a date?
Dean: Ah…I don’t—I don’t go out much I guess…
Tan: You don’t? But you’re so nice and charming! Isn’t there a special lady you’d want to show off to?
Dean: Uh. I’m not—I don’t… [blushes]
Tan: Hmmmm…What about a celebrity or a fictional character whose style you like?
Dean: Uh…I like uh. Doctor Sexy, I guess. And um, Han Solo, or Clint Eastwood in his western times I guess. [blushes again]
Tan: That’s very nice! I’m not sure you can wear hospital scrubs or a cowboy hat for your fundraiser. I think maybe we can try to emulate some of that early age Harrison Ford charm, though. How do you feel about shirts? Would you be comfortable in one?
I think Dean really needs to find himself. He’s been helping others—he's been literally at the service of others—his whole life, he’s never really learnt to put himself forward and reach for what he wants for himself. And from his reaction when I asked him about a special lady, I’m certain there’s definitely someone he must want for himself! So let's help him achieve that!
{Home design}
Bobby: So I’ve noticed that you keep your house very neat and functional, but I don’t really see any of your personality in here. I feel like this is the house of someone who’s ready to leave at a moment’s notice. Do you find this to be true?
Dean: Well, I guess—when I moved in I didn’t know yet if the army was gonna let me quit or not, so I guess yes, I didn’t see the point of doing any decorating and shit, and then Sam and Cas moved in too so I couldn’t really do it all as if I was the only one there...and it’s also my place of work, so...
Bobby: I understand, but I'm sure neither Sam nor Cas would mind you making the place a bit more comfy, and a bit warmer.
Dean: Um, yeah. I guess so, yeah.
Bobby: So, what I'm gonna do is, the helpline part of your house is very professional, very functional too, and what I wanna do is make it obvious that there is a distinction between the workspace and the home-space. I'm gonna add comfort and colors and liveliness, and if you don't mind I'm also gonna add things that are more personal to you and to Sam and to Cas, to the people actually living here.
Dean: Yeah, alright. That sounds...okay I guess. Good.
Bobby: And then—I’m not gonna lie—there’s one big question in all of our minds. You're a grown man and your house is not big but not that small, so...How come you share your room with Cas? Don't you need your intimacy?
Dean: Uh...Actually, you know...there are only two bedrooms in the house and Sam needs to get up and to get sleep at crazy hours, what with his crazy schedule at the hospital, so when it came to dividing things out between us, it made sense that Cas and I would share and we don't mind, really. We've both been in the military so long, it doesn't bother us at all, plus we...um. We both sometimes have nightmares about—about over there, so it...it helps that we. You know. Have each other.
Bobby: Oh. That's understandable. Is this something that is still very fresh in your mind, the war? Is this one of the reasons you started the helpline?
Dean: Oh yeah, definitely. When I grew up, my dad was a cop, and my mom was also in the military, and we had that unofficial family motto "saving people, hunting bad guys", and that's a saying that meant something to me my whole life. But after—after what happened to me over there, honestly...I'm not sure I'll ever be able to hunt bad guys anyways so I decided I should just focus on the saving people part of the equation. And when I got back, the only thing that really helped me after all that happened over there--it was that shrink Sam made me see, so I figured, I'm not a professional or anything, but I knew just listening to people could be a lot.
Bobby: That's so very kind of you, and frankly very inspiring too. That you would choose to do that with your life, putting yourself in the service of other people after everything you've already given of yourself for us all...I hope you can see how much you deserve every good things for yourself too, and I hope we'll be able to start you on the way of better taking care of yourself!
Dean literally is the most heroic of all the heroes we could have wished to be helping on Queer Eye, and I'm so proud to even be a part of his life. He's the kind of person everyone wish they would have had around when things were bad, so I wanna help him help others! And I know that for that he needs to help himself too, so I'm gonna make sure he won't be sleeping in this military cot he pretends is a bed. Dean has a house, but what he needs is a home.
{Food & Wine}
Antoni: So, from what I saw of your kitchen and from what you’ve told me earlier, you clearly don’t need any supervision in the cooking department so let me just offer you an additional pair of hands for all the prep you need to do for the fundraiser. You actually might be the first Queer Eye hero ever to have a favorite kitchen knife, so I don’t feel like I’ve got anything to teach you. Do you already know what you’re going to serve?
Dean: I was thinking something pretty simple with carrots and cucumber sticks and maybe some avocados, with some home-made dip to go with? And maybe some kale salad on the side too. What do you think?
Antoni: I think it’s great! It’s fresh, it’s light, there’s sweetness there’s crunch, although—and please correct me if I’m wrong, I wouldn’t want to overstep, but I’ve got the vibe you don’t really want to do crudités for this event. Am I wrong?
Dean: I…I don’t—I, uh. Vegetables generally are good, that’s um. Sam loves salad and Cas is always nibbling on some carrots, and everyone likes dip, right?
Antoni: What I want to know, Dean, is what do you like? What do you want to eat?
Dean: I don’t…you know. Vegetable sticks are fine with me, I’ll eat whatever…
Antoni: What’s your favorite food? If you were a prisoner on death row, what would you order for your last meal?
Dean: Uh. A bacon cheeseburger, I guess. And pie for dessert.
Antoni: You know what, Dean? I never do that, but I’m gonna go back on my word. You definitely need supervision for this stuff! I heard what you can do in the kitchen so why on earth would you deny yourself for an event that may be a fundraiser, but that is also celebrating all your achievements? You need to do something for yourself for once, so I’m going to ask of you—no order you!—to actually cook something you like for this event! You’re gonna make mini-burgers and mini-pies and you’re gonna have fun because they’re your favorite food and you love them! Deal?
Dean: I…Deal! [smiles]
Antoni: So let’s get started! What do you need?
Dean: I need…uh I guess I need to go grocery shopping again!
I’m so glad Dean agreed to change his menu for the fundraiser! Seeing him working on something for himself for once just made me so happy. This is a new Dean I witnessed today. I know he’ll still give his heart and soul to his loved ones and to all the people calling the helpline, but it’s just so different for once to see him actually, unabashedly treat himself! Plus, with all the love he’s put in them, I know everybody at the fundraiser is gonna find his burgers and pies absolutely delicious!
{Culture}
Karamo: So Dean, first of all, I wanted to thank you for your service, not only in the military, but for what you're doing everyday via your helpline.
Dean: Oh. That's--You don't have to thank me, man...
Karamo: No, I insist. And I also think that it's a thing you also should try to work on, something easy: I want you to learn how to accept thanks, and to let other people take care of you.
Dean: Oh. Okay. I guess--I guess it's true that sometimes I can have a hard time with...you know. It feels kinda weird.
Karamo: We'll make it feel less weird, you'll see! What I hope to achieve, is that if you open up more to thanks and praise, then you'll also open up more to expressing your own needs and wants and not only taking care of yourself better, but also sometimes letting other people taking care of you, instead of systematically taking every burden on your shoulders. Would you be okay with that?
Dean: I...I guess, yeah.
Karamo: Hear that phone ringing? Those are several messages left by people who care about you. Let's listen to them!
[on the phone]
Jody: Hi Dean! I just wanted to half-apologize about sending a troop of gay guys on your ass, but mostly I wanted to thank you for helping me when I was at the bottom of a pit of despair, and basically saving my life. You’re not just one of the good guys, Dean. You’re basically the best.
Bobby: Hey kiddo. You know I’m an old fart who don’t know how to talk about this kinda stuff, but I hope you also know that despite being a bunch of idjits, you and your brother are like sons to me, and I could never be prouder of what the both of you have become. I can’t express how grateful I am that I got to be part of your life.
Donna: Hiya, Dean-o! I hope you already know all of that, but there are sometimes pretty obvious things we simply forget to tell our loved ones. So this is me letting you know how much you, and everything you do, means to this community. I know a lot of kids out here who you gave hope and comfort to, and frankly if everybody you helped in the few years you’ve been here had to record a message for you, those gay gays simply wouldn’t have enough time to put anything else in their show! So thanks again for everything you’ve done for us all, and I wish to you all the best!
Sam: Hey Dean, I know I work a lot nowadays and we don’t really have time to talk anymore but I just wanted to thank you and to let you know that I'm 100% aware that i wouldn't be where I am without you. You're the reason I can afford to go to med school now, and the reason I could afford to eat when we were kids. You’re the best brother anyone could have and I’m so proud of you and the way you help the world be a better place everyday. I love you, man.
Cas: Hello, Dean. I do not completely understand why these men with the cameras are here, but they told me that you will be listening to this message. I thank you now for everything you have done for me since I’ve come to America. You have provided me everyday with a bed and a roof and food to eat, and after what I did in the war and back in Russia, you still welcomed me with open arm. You treat me like a part of your family, and even when I feel misplaced and scared I know that you are here. I thank you and only hope that I can one day repay everything you have done for me. ты мое сердце.
[phone hangs up]
Karamo: So, Dean, how did this make you feel?
Dean: I—it’s a lot. [wipes off tears]
Karamo: I've noticed that that last message, from Castiel, seems to have had a very strong effect on you. Even stronger than the other messages. Do you want to talk about it?
Dean: I...Cas is--Look, Cas basically saved my life over there. I'd been captured by a terrorist group, and he rescued me. He did it even though he was not supposed to. And he was so not supposed to that he got kicked of the military and basically disgraced for all of Mother Russia, so...when I learnt about this, I did everything I could to get him here and help him get a residence visa, and I helped him learn English, but really, that was the least I could do! The man saved my life! I just--I can't imagine not helping him out.
Karamo: So basically, what I'm hearing, is that because of what Castiel did for you, you feel like you want to help him in return?
Dean: Yeah, of course!
Karamo: So you can understand how all the other people you helped would feel the same about giving back to you?
Dean: I--yeah, I guess. I...yeah.
Of course it’s still going to be difficult for Dean, to accept thanks and to let other people take care of him, but I really feel like we’ve made progress today. He’s realized how much he means to people in his life, and that they are all like him: they all want to help too, and he’s just got to let them. I hope he’ll use the fundraiser to let them all prove how much he’s valued among his family, and his friends, and his whole community.
{Grooming}
Jonathan: Hi Dean!! You handsome man, you! I’m so glad I get to take care of those wonderful face and bod of yours!
Dean: [blushes] I—thanks, I guess.
Jonathan: No, but for real! You’re so beautiful, I don’t even know why you’re on this show, really, you don’t need me at all you’re so gorgeous!
Dean: [blushes again]
Jonathan: However! I’ve seen your bathroom and you’ve got nothing in there! All the hair products are Sam’s and apart from toothpaste and shaving cream, you’ve got nothing! How can you take care of this pretty freckled skin of yours without products! Your skin is gonna grow old so fast and it’s making me sad because with a profile like yours it deserves to be statufied in a museum, and it should definitely NOT grow shriveled like an ugly little fig!
Dean: I—okay. So…what should I do?
Jonathan: Well, you, my little deanie-darling, for now, aren’t gonna do anything—and I’m only calling you that ‘cause you’re such a gigantic human—you’re gonna let yourself getting pampered for a whole day and it’s gonna be a-mah-zing!
Dean: Oh, all right, okay. Let’s do it, then!
Jonathan: This is gonna be fabulous! Oh, and by the way, how do you feel about saying bye-bye to some of that scruff?
Dean: Please don’t do that to me.
Jonathan: oh. All right. We’ll work on it.
Dean is just such a gorgeous dude, I don’t even want to change anything about him except making him feel more comfortable in his body and confident about his looks. I think I want to get rid of his scruff just so I get to spend more time with him. And touch his gorgeous face. Just. So gorgeous.
{The Reveal}
Jonathan: It’s Dean-o time!
Antoni: I really hope the fundraiser was successful and he got what he needed for the helpline!
Karamo: The work he does there is just so important. The community knows that, I’m sure they’re all gonna support him.
Bobby: So, Dean has not actually been to his house since I’ve done the redecorating, so let’s first see how he reacts to that.
Tan: He hasn’t? The poor man is going to feel so confused!
Jonathan: Dazed and confused, you mean!
Karamo: Look, he’s coming in.
Antoni: Oh my god, he looks even more gorgeous than before. Good work, Jonathan!
Jonathan: You’re welcome.
Karamo: Look at him, look at his face! He looks like he’s not sure he’s in the right house!
Tan: He does look pretty dazed and confused. I don’t think he ever had a couch before. He loves it!
Bobby: Wait until he sees his new bedroom.
Karamo: He’s getting there, he’s getting there…
Jonathan: He’s going in. Hide my eyes, I’m too anxious I don’t want to see that. Jk, open the door, Dean!
Bobby: He’s in!
Antoni: Uh oh. Look at how crestfallen he looks suddenly.
Tan: I don’t think he likes his new bedroom so much, Bobby. What have you done?
Bobby: What? His room is great! It’s in his style, it’s comfy, it’s still fun, why wouldn’t he like—
Jonathan: Oh. Em. Gee, guys! He’s sad ‘cause Cas’s bed is not in the room anymore!
Bobby: Oh my god, that’s so cute. He’s got no idea—
Karamo: Wait for it, wait for it…
[on the screen]
Cas: Hello, Dean.
Dean: Cas? What—look, I didn’t know they were gonna do this, I swear, I’m not kicking you out or anything. You still got a bed here, I promise. Look, you can even take this bed! There’s a couch now, so I’ll just sleep there til we figure it out—
Cas: I do not want for you to sleep on the couch, Dean. I understand the men with the cameras were here to make your life better, and sleeping on this bed will be better for you, and—
Dean: I get that, but…it’s your home too. I don’t want you to—
Cas: Please let me finish, Dean. What I have come here to say now is this: I want to thank you for taking care of me, but I do not want for it to be the same anymore.
Dean: Cas, no, I—
Cas: I want to be taking care of you too, Dean. I want you to let me do this, but I also want more. As I have told you in the phone message, ты мое сердце, you are my heart. I love you more than as a friend, Dean. And I hope that you do too. I do not want to be too forward but I wish we could be sharing the bed in the future.
Dean: Cas, I—I…I love you too.
[they kiss]
Antoni: Oh my god, I love this so much they’re just the cutest!
Tan: They also are two of the hottest men we’ve ever had on the show.
Jonathan: Two of the hottest man on the planet you mean! Aww I think there’s tongue stuff happening now.
Karamo: I’m so glad these two worked out together! I had an inkling after the phone message, but I’m just so pleased to finally see them together like this.
Bobby: You had just an inkling? C’mon. As soon as I saw these cots in the same room, I just knew there was something there. This show isn’t called Queer Eye for nothing.
I just—I want to thank the Fab 5 for everything they’ve done. Sure, the house and the clothes and the help with the fundraiser were great, but…getting me and Cas to get the guts to finally—you know, I’m not sure we would ever have, if…yeah. So thank you to Antoni, and to Karamo and Tan and Jonathan and Bobby. You are all great guys and I hope you’ll get someday to be as happy and Cas makes me. Not only you made it possible for us to happen, but also you—you made me believe I could deserve it, so…yeah. Thank you again.
{the end}