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Sirius was brooding.
Of course, this would come to no surprise to anyone who spent any time whatsoever at Grimmuald Place or who knew how much Sirius absolutely detested the house of his ancestors where he was currently trapped, replacing one prison cell for another. Sirius’ brooding was quite a common occurrence even on a good day, and today was not a good day. It was never a good day when Remus left on Order business.
“I’ll be back before the next moon, Sirius.” Remus had promised early that morning, lying in bed and speaking to Sirius’ back because Sirius had refused to roll over and face his lover. Remus sighed and tightened his arm around Sirius’ waist, kissing the top of his head. “It’s only two weeks this time…”
Sirius hadn’t argued. There was no point in arguing, that much he had learned fourteen years ago. Remus had to go and Sirius had to stay and no amount of yelling or swearing or threats would change that. However, that didn’t mean Sirius had to be happy about it, and so the brooding would have to do in lieu of starting a fight and letting Remus leave feeling worse than he probably did already. Sirius had locked himself in Buckbeak’s room for the remainder of the morning, venting his feelings to his animal companion and knocking back maybe one too many glasses of whiskey for so early in the day, which lead to him curling up in the corner and drifting off for a bit.
He was woken up some time later by Buckbeak’s large, feathery head nudging at him - probably making sure he was alive, for who else would sit and brush out his feathers and share dead rats with him if not Sirius? - and he jumped, startled and confused. At the realization that he had fallen asleep, his heart sank. How long had he been asleep? Had Remus left without saying goodbye? Sirius would absolutely hate himself if he had let his moping about rob him of his chance to say goodbye to Remus. He gave Buckbeak one last pat on the beak, thanking him for listening and for waking him up, and fled from the room, hurrying through the house and calling out Remus’ name.
“Fuck!” Sirius growled, leaning back against the wall outside of his father’s old study where Remus liked to sit and read sometimes. He wasn’t there, nor was he in the kitchen or the lounge or anywhere else he usually lurked. Sirius let himself slide down the wall to floor, wrapping his arms around his legs and biting back the urge to pout or cry or throw a tantrum. He had done this to himself, after all. There was no need to have a fit for no one but Kreacher and his mother’s portrait to see. He closed his eyes tight and took a few slow breaths, repeating over and over in his head that It Was Fine. Remus Would Come Back. Two Weeks. He’ll Come Back. He Won’t Leave You Here. He Promised. He Loves You. He Loves You. He Loves You .
He let out a heavy sigh and picked himself up off the floor, sulking and shuffling his feet as he made his way down the hall to his and Remus’ bedroom. Closing the bedroom door behind him, he crossed the room to their bed and was about to collapse onto it when the fact that the bed was neatly made caught his attention. He hadn’t made the bed that morning, though perhaps Remus had done it before he left, but that wasn’t all that was different…
There was a nondescript, brown paper bag sitting on his pillow, with a note attached to it with his name written in Remus’ neat script.
Sirius’ head cocked to the side and he frowned, confused about the parcel his lover had left for him. He reached out and carefully plucked the folded up parchment from where it had been stuck on with one of those muggle contraptions...a stapler, if he remembered correctly. He unfolded the note, climbing up on the bed and sitting back against the headboard to read it.
Sirius,
I’m sorry I have to keep leaving you for Order Missions. I know that you understand and that you know if I had any choice in the matter, I would be with you every minute of every day, but it hurts me to have to leave you just as much as I know it hurts you to be left.
One day there won’t be Order Missions dragging me away from you. We can be together the way we should have been from the start...Until then, I’ve got you a little something to keep yourself...occupied...in my absence. I know it’s no replacement for good company, but I think it may be able to fill some of the emptiness quite nicely. Also, the very thought of you with it is something that I know I will be using to keep myself sane until I get back.
Be Good, Padfoot. Enjoy your new toy.
Love, Remus .
Excited curiosity replaced the feelings of despair he had been harboring moments earlier, and he threw Remus’ note aside and plunged his hand into the bag to retrieve his ‘new toy’. His eyes widened when his fingers wrapped themselves around something thick, long and firm, yet velvety to the touch. His mouth went suddenly dry. It couldn’t be…could it?
He slowly pulled it out of the bag.
Oh, it could. And it was.
It was a dildo. A long, thick dildo with a realistic phallic shape which Sirius was currently tracing with his fingertips. It was nowhere near as glorious as Remus’ cock, but it was definitely close to the same size and Sirius wondered if Remus had gone through the trouble of actually finding one that looked the most like his own or something, because if he had, he’d done well.
Fill Some Of The Emptiness, indeed. That naughty wolf … Sirius thought fondly, his lips twitching up into a mischievous smirk. Way back, in a time that now felt like someone else’s life entirely to Sirius, before everything had gone so horribly wrong and he and Remus had just gotten their own flat together, they had been no stranger to sex toys from both muggle and wizard novelty shops. They had had plenty of dildos, plugs, bondage restraints, paddles and various other implements used for sexual exploration. Upon further investigation of this particular toy, Sirius found that it was in fact of the Wizarding variety which became obvious when he ran an experimental finger tip along the underside of the phallus and it twitched and pulsed in his hand.
Grinning, Sirius snatched the paper bag and turned it over, letting out a triumphant laugh when a small bottle of magical lubricant fell out onto the duvet in front of him. So Remus would be thinking about him fucking himself with this while he was away? Well, if that were the case, Sirius really should be sure to make his beloved werewolf’s fantasies a reality and give the man a full report on exactly how it felt and what he did with it all while thinking about nothing but Remus...Yes, Sirius thought, that’s exactly what he should do.
And since he would be the only one in the house for a while, there was no time like the present, was there?
He quickly shed his clothing, tossing his trousers, t shirt and underwear aside and not caring where they landed as he settled back against the pillows and made himself comfortable.
He paused, looking at the fake cock in his hand with a slight frown. He had never done this before...Well, obviously he had wanked, he wanked off all the time, but that was much different than fucking himself with a dildo all by himself. Whenever they had played with these sorts of toys in the past it had always been together…
He licked his lips anxiously. It felt awkward to just slather on some lube and shove it right in...perhaps he needed some sort of build up? Some foreplay?
Self-foreplay...was that a thing?
He shook himself. Whatever. He just needed to get into the mood. That was easy enough!
He laid back again and spread his legs, letting his eyes fall shut as he wrapped his hand around his own half hard prick, slowly pumping and stroking until it was at full attention. He hummed happily as he stroked his thumb over the sensitive tip, spreading the little drop of precum that was forming there the same way Remus would do to him…
Remus…
It still amazed Sirius that even after all that had happened and all the time that they had been apart, just the thought of the other man still sent a pleasurable shiver through Sirius’ body. He tightened his grip on his cock, twisting his wrist at the head and imagining it was Remus’ fist he was thrusting up into. Remus’ fingers teasing his balls and the sensitive spot just behind them. He released himself for a second and brought his hand to his mouth, licking his palm before he set back to his task, imagining Remus’ tongue on his cock, Remus’ lips around his shaft...
He brought two fingers of his free hand to his own lips and sucked them in, coating them thickly with saliva and bringing them back down between his legs, past his heavy sac and lower, lower, until he was circling his twitching, eager hole with the tip of his forefinger, teasing his entrance the way Remus always did until he would start to whimper and beg. He slowly pushed his fingers inside himself and a low groan and began to thrust them in and out in rhythm with the other hand around his cock. He crooked his fingers up and let out a choked sob of frustration. His own fingers couldn’t reach his prostate nearly as well as Remus’ could.
Remus would have reprimanded him for getting frustrated so easily.
Shhh...be patient, love…Open up for me …
He bit down on his lip and scissored his fingers inside himself. He added a third, focusing on the hot stretch of the tight ring of muscle as he prepared himself for Moony’s cock…
Moony’s cock …
He moaned at the thought of his lover’s big, perfect, thick cock that never failed to make his mouth water and his own prick twitch. He opened his eyes, turning his head slightly to glance at the dildo that would have to substitute for the real Moony...fuck, he wanted it so badly. He wanted to feel Remus inside him, filling him up, making him complete…
He removed his fingers from inside his body and, trembling slightly, reached across the mattress to grasp the silicone cock which once again pulsed with interest realistically. He let go of his own prick, groping around for the bottle of lubricant which he found and used his teeth to uncap it, pouring a generous amount of the cool, slippery fluid into his hand and coating it over the length of the dildo. He brought his knees up, spreading his legs further and pressed the head of the cock against his arsehole, holding his bottom lip between his teeth as the bulbous head of the toy breached him and gasping when it then took it upon itself to slide all the way in on its own.
Sirius whimpered softly, one hand still holding the base of the dildo which had stopped moving to allow him time to relax his body and adjust the way Remus would if he were here. Merlin, it did feel good to be so full though, whether it was really his Moony or not. He took another moment to catch his breath before he pulled the toy out until only the head remained inside and then it shoved itself back in with a sharp thrust that made Sirius cry out and throw his head back.
Growing more confident, Sirius set a steady pace as he fucked himself with the dildo and his free hand returned to wrap around his own cock. He writhed on the bed, his hips bucking wildly as he moaned and gasped. He kept his eyes tightly shut, turning his head to bury his face in Remus’ pillow, filling his senses with Remus’ scent as he filled his arse with what he wished was Remus’ cock…
“Remus...fuck...yes...Remus…!”
“ Fuck, Sirius …”
Sirius whined softly, loving and hating his vivid imagination for being able to conjure up such a believable Fantasy-Remus that he could actually hear his lover’s voice. “Moony...Godric, please, fuck me…” He begged the Remus in his mind out loud.
“Heh...you seem to be doing a perfectly good job of it on your own.”
Okay, that hadn’t sounded like it was part of Sirius’ imagination, no matter how convincing that might be at times. His eyes flew open and his whole body went rigid when he saw that he was not in fact alone in the bedroom at all. “Moony! I-I was-!”
Remus was leaning against the bedroom door, staring at him with an intense and lust filled gaze, a predatory smile on his face giving him a very wolfish demeanor. “Well don’t stop on my account,” He said, a pleased growl forming around the words. He pushed himself away from the door, shrugging his cloak off and letting it fall as he approached the bed, his eyes glued to the man lying on the bed, spread open and vulnerable and completely his…
The corner of Remus’ lips twitched up and his eyes flashed dangerously as he slowly reached between Sirius’ legs and pushed the dildo further into his lover’s arse, making Sirius keen and arch up. “Keep going…” He leaned in and pressed his lips against Sirius’. “Fuck yourself for me, love…let me see...so I can think about it the whole time I’m away…”
Sirius shuddered as the words, but he swallowed thickly and nodded as Remus pulled away and stepped back so that he could watch. Sirius locked eyes with his lover as he pulled most of the dildo out and let it slide back in several times. Remus watched him heatedly, his tongue darting out to lick his lips as he watching the cock disappear and reappear between Sirius’ legs. He began to unbutton his own shirt, then his trousers, letting his clothes pool on the floor and reaching down to stroke his own rapidly growing erection.
Sirius’ eyes glazed over at the sight of Remus touching himself. Fuck, Remus was touching himself and watching him fuck his own arse with a fucking dildo. Sirius stroked his cock faster and the dildo began to pick up pace as well, fucking him hard and fast and hitting just the right spots and then
“ AHH ! OH! O-oh...f-fuck !” Sirius yelped in surprise as the toy inside him began to vibrate.
“Mmmm...Probably should have told you it does that.” He heard Remus chuckle, low and husky, from where he was standing over by the dresser.
Sirius’ eyes fell shut again and he thrashed his head back and forth, moaning and sobbing and begging incoherently for Remus. He could hear the other man moving about the room, opening drawers and shuffling through the contents as if he were looking for something, but Sirius was far too lost in pleasure to ask questions.
That is, until he heard a very distinctive CLICK .
He opened his eyes, blinking through the lusty haze to stare up at Remus, who was now standing over him, beautifully naked and holding a camera.
“F-fuck, Remus...w-what are you-?”
Remus grinned wickedly at him. “Something for me to look at while I’m gone…” He licked his lips, his eyes roaming hungrily over Sirius’ body. “Don’t stop.” He said again. “Fuck yourself for me...Merlin, you look so fucking gorgeous like this, Padfoot...keep going.”
Sirius moaned and nodded again, obeying Remus’ orders and really going for it this time. He didn’t hold back, fucking himself roughly and jerking his cock and massaging his balls all while he moaned and gasped and sobbed Remus’ name over and over.
Remus watched him, snapping picture after picture and occasionally stopping to stroke his own dick, making soft, pleased sounds in accordance to whatever Sirius was doing to himself. Then he dropped the camera onto the bed and climbed up onto the mattress, settling between Sirius’ legs.
“Don’t stop.” He reminded Sirius gently, bending to kiss the inside of Sirius’ thighs. “Good boy…” He reached down and wrapped his hand back around his own cock as he watched his lover writhing in pleasure. “Fuck, Sirius…”
Sirius whined. Fuck, he was so close. “Remus…”
“Shhh…” Remus soothed, using his free hand to trail his fingers down Sirius’ side. “Are you going to cum, love?”
Sirius nodded frantically, driving the vibrating dildo into himself faster and harder.
Remus hummed approvingly. “Fuck, yes, let me see you cum, Sirius...cum for me…”
Stars burst behind Sirius’ eyelids as his orgasm shook his entire body. His muscles clenched around the hard shaft inside of him, which twitched and pulsed like Remus’ real cock would have, and he came hard, spilling onto his own stomach and over his fingers. He wasn’t even finished milking his cock of everything he could when Remus bent down to lap up the small pool of cum on his belly before he crawled up the length of Sirius’ body, straddling his chest and gazing down at him. Sirius stared back up, mesmerized as Remus’ hand flew over his own cock, jerking himself off frantically. Remus didn’t have to say anything for Sirius to know what was expected of him now. Sirius licked his lips, opening his mouth and sticking his tongue out just a bit. Remus growled approvingly, his hand moving faster and faster until he gasped and threw his head back with a loud moan, his cum shooting across Sirius’ face, streaking across his sharp cheekbone, and his lips and eagerly waiting mouth and tongue.
Remus didn’t wait before he captured Sirius’ lips in a deep, hungry kiss. He licked the cum from his lover’s mouth, sucking it from his tongue and moving to lick it up from his cheek.
“Fuck that is so fucking sexy, Remus…” Sirius gasped as Remus nibbled along his jaw.
“Wait until you see those pictures,” Remus chuckled softly against his ear. “That, my dear Padfoot, is what is so fucking sexy...you fucking your perfect arse with a dildo made to look like my cock.”
Sirius barked a laugh and pulled away slightly. “Wait...what?”
Remus grinned down at him. “Yeah, you can get the whole kit down at the shop and make a model of your own prick...I saw it and I thought it might make the times when I’m away a little easier on you…” He kissed the tip of Sirius’ nose. “Do you like it?”
Sirius laughed and shook his head. “Merlin, you really are such a pervy little wolf, Moons. Always have been.”
Remus smiled and moved to lie down beside him, pulling Sirius into his arms and kissing the top of his head. “That’s why you fell in love with me.”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Among many reasons, sure…” He traced his fingertips along a scar on Remus’ bicep. “I thought you had left without saying goodbye…”
“Don’t be silly, Sirius. I wouldn’t do that.” He kissed his forehead, then placed his fingers under Sirius’ chin to tilt his face up and kiss his lips. “I just had to make a trip to the school before I left to pick up my potion from Severus-”
Sirius pulled a face.
“Stop that.” Remus scolded him lightly. “Anyway, I figured I’d give you some time to cool off since you went and locked yourself away with Buckbeak...I didn’t expect you to come out before I was back and then when I got here I saw you had found your present.” He smirked. “I’m glad I got to see before I left. Those pictures are going to get me through the next two weeks…Not the same as the real thing of course, but they’ll do.”
Sirius nodded. “Yeah...and thank you. I definitely will enjoy my present.”
“I’m very pleased that you like it.”
“Mhm…” Sirius sighed and snuggled in further against Remus’ chest, holding on to the last few moments before he would have to leave again. “It’s not the same as the real thing, but it’ll do.”