Work Text:
that day.
the sun was still high on the sky. the city of seoul was still bustling with cars and motorbikes and public transportations. people rushing here and there, coming from one place and going to another in rush. some looked more relaxed - chatting with their friends while pointing from one restaurant to another. right, it's lunch time. office workers were on their break. the commotion outside the cafe Jinyoung was in was the opposite of the inside. he's seated on the corner of the cafe - his favorite place - stirring his soon to be cold coffee. he placed down the spoon and placed his hands on the sides of his coffee cup instead. he's torn between drinking it or starting a conversation with the man in front of him. the said man only sat back on his seat, staring far into the crowd outside the cafe, hands loosely folded in front of his chest.
"um,"
at the sound of Jinyoung's voice, the man turned his head and looked at Jinyoung. they stared at each other for a few seconds until the silence was deemed too suffocating for Jinyoung, so he continued what he was trying to say.
"so, um, thank you for coming, hyung."
the man only leaned a bit onto the table, grabbing his spoon and stirring his coffee (which Jinyoung was sure already cold because he arrived before Jinyoung and the drink was already there with him - though to Jinyoung's puzzlement it remained untouched until just now). he smiled - oh how that smile almost knocked the breath out of Jinyoung - and shook his head.
"it's nothing. so what's up?"
Jinyoung met his eyes again. Jinyoung remembered how those eyes were still the same eyes that he slept to and woke up to for the past two years, before everything crumbled down and Jinyoung started sleeping and waking up to his white sheet. he sipped his coffee - once, twice. he put down his cup and looked down on his pale hands. Jinyoung thought his hands were ugly. he's pale and he felt his hands looked lifeless - but the man always said they're beautiful and he loved how Jinyoung's hands fit right into his own. Jinyoung bit his bottom lip, trying to find the right words to tell him the real reason for calling at 2 in the morning and asking to meet up at their favorite hang out spot. did Jinyoung tell you it was also the man's favorite spot? because on the same spot the man asked him to be his boyfriend - in the middle of scorching hot summer, they're both in lousy tshirts, even though the other man was wearing shorts and Jinyoung insisted on wearing his favorite grey slacks. to say he missed the other man was wrong, because Jinyoung was sure he didn't miss him, but somehow he sort of missed a presence like his in his life.
"uh- how are you doing hyung? still composing?"
the other man only smiled - while still keeping his gaze on Jinyoung - and nodded.
"yes. that's all I ever knew to do. even though lately I decided to start doing photography again."
"oh? that's good."
"what about you, Jinyoung?"
"me?"
"yes. still dancing and acting?"
honestly? no. Jinyoung decided to stop dancing the day things were over between him and the other man. well, for starters, he decided to start dancing after seeing the other man b-boying and it completely fascinated him. he started taking dancing lessons in hope for the other man to notice him. it worked. for acting... Jinyoung sort of stopped coming to the acting school the other man helped him sign up, so no? he only shook his head and smiled - a sad one, he's pretty sure. he tried to look okay but Jinyoung's friends said he'd been a terrible liar for the past few months. damn, maybe Jinyoung did need to go back to acting school.
"no. i write now. i also work at S University's library now."
the man only nodded while an "ah" escaped his lips.
"you always loved books, though. i knew sooner and later you'd start writing."
Jinyoung looked up to see the man smiling (was Jinyoung imagining things or was that really a sad smile? but why would he be sad? shouldn't he be glad he's a free man now without a pestering partner like Jinyoung by his side? Jinyoung's confused) and started stirring his coffee again.
"well, you too, hyung. i kind of got that from you."
Jinyoung shrugged, and the other man only chuckled a bit before looking out into the crowd again. the sunlight that came through the window shone upon the man's face and Jinyoung had to hold back his tears because the man looked absolutely stunning.
"hyung, can I ask you something?"
the man turned to look at him and smiled. it's weird how after all this time they could still understand each other only by looking at each other's eyes. Jackson used to say that's creepy but also super romantic.
"um... was i annoying?"
"i'm sorry?"
the man was taken aback by Jinyoung's question and a frown formed on his beautiful face. god damn it - Jinyoung thought - here he goes again.
"um... I've been thinking. w-when we were together, was i an annoying person? i mean, i whined a lot and sometimes we fought because of my silly insecurities. i even had panic attacks in the middle of the night and sometimes i would wake up at 2 am and cried for no reason at all. i...i also don't know how many time i cried in the shower because of silly thoughts like you would leave me for another girl. i mean, look at me, i'm just me and you're you. and i was also the one who ended things between us."
jinyoung took a deep breath before he started hyperventilating because suddenly his emotion started to come crashing down on him and he wanted to cry and ran himself home because for god's sake, Jinyoung didn't want to be even more annoying than he already was.
"i'm sorry, this was a mistake."
Jinyoung tried to stand up but a hand caught his. the moment the man's hand came in contact with Jinyoung's, it was all too much and he started crying.
"come here."
the man pulled Jinyoung to the seat beside him (they were sitting across each other before because Jinyoung thought it would leave some space between them; yes Jinyoung was just too scared to get to close to the man) and he hugged him. Jinyoung only covered his face with his hands so his ugly tears wouldn't leave a mark on the other man's hoodie (it's his favorite too).
"J-jaebum hyung, I'm sorry."
Jinyoung only heard him sigh while stroking his head calmly. Jinyoung hated how being in his embrace was the best thing Jinyoung ever experienced in his life and Jinyoung was such an idiot to let him slip away from his life.
"it's okay, Jinyoung-ah. calm down. I'm here."
no, no, no. not those words again. Jinyoung suddenly sobered up and pulled himself away from the other man. the man let him go and only watched him silently (Jinyoung knew he was worried because he could see that frown again on his face - oh how Jinyoung hated to be the cause of such expression on this beautiful face!). Jinyoung wiped his tears with the sleeves of his sweater and stood up, making the man before him looked up at him in alarm.
"i should go, hyung. i'm sorry. thank you for coming."
the man only smiled before grabbing Jinyoung's wrist (thank god he didn't touch his skin again or he would break into even tinier pieces right before the man's eyes, and that would be ugly.)
"Jinyoung, be careful, okay? call me when you've arrived home."
Jinyoung only nodded (he didn't dare to turn his face to look at Jaebum because he's scared. Jinyoung was scared. Just so, so scared.) Jaebum let him go and Jinyoung took two steps before Jaebum stopped him again. the words that left the other man's mouth made him tremble so badly he had to run out of the cafe and ran straight home with tears streaming down his face (even though the cafe is 20 minutes away by walking from his apartment and he's getting weird looks from other people).
"Jinyoung, you're not annoying. please know i will always love you no matter what you think of yourself."
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