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They’d started not long after arriving to Skyhold. There’d been an undeniable attraction between the two of them since the beginning. Months had passed since then, the both of them changing and growing closer. No longer the qunari agent that she’d met on the coast, he was Tal’Vashoth. The sacrifice of the dreadnaught all those weeks ago had saved the Chargers, the people Nan knew he really cared the most about. She knew it stung at first, but things got better. And they still had each other.
Her bedroom had become sacred ground for the two of them, lit at night to a dull glow by the fireplace so that she saw only the barest of details as she relinquished control of her body to the only man she’d ever trusted so much.
Nan had never considered romance before. Never quite understood it. While her friends growing up in the clan had all gushed over having ‘crushes’ on each other, she was more interested in learning how to fight, in training to be a halla keeper. As they grew older her friends all fell in love with each other while she continued to struggle with what the word could mean. Love was something found in stories, reserved for those who believed such things were important.
Sex, on the other hand, was always casual for her. She’d had several flings with various men and women in the clan. Some attempted to use this against her, to try and make her feel inferior. Her lack of caring often shut them up easily enough, once they saw that they weren’t getting the reaction they were hoping for. She had no reason to be ashamed, and simply carried on with her life.
Now she was on her knees in her bedroom, naked save for the soft red satin ribbons that were being used to bind her. Bare as well, Bull’s strong hands trailed down her back as he tied the knots that were tight enough to keep her bound, but not tight enough that she was in any danger. The ribbons held her arms up over her head and hands behind her neck, digging into her wrists just enough to hurt when she tugged. Her legs had been bound not long before, keeping her stationary. It reminded her of receiving her vallaslin, remaining still for so long. But she knew that he was doing it on purpose.
He tugged on her restraints, pulling her back so her long brown hair fell behind her shoulders and she was looking up at him.
“How is it? Not too tight?” he affirmed, his voice low.
Nan wiggled slightly, her strong muscles flexing against their bindings. She could barely move, her knees digging into the soft carpet warmed by the fire. “Not in a bad way, but I can't move,” she told him, meeting his gaze with her big copper eyes.
His lips curled in a smirk. “Good. One last thing.”
She frowned at this, watching him move to the dresser drawer that held their toys. He pulled out a blindfold made of the softest red silk. Bull captured her face in his hands, cradling her cheeks in his large palms. The tenderness was maddening when she just wanted him to be rough with her, but her nerves were craving stimulation. She would take what she could get.
“Do you trust me?” he asked, this little bit of confirmation a constant with each little session.
“I do,” she said, nodding affirmatively.
“What’s your watchword?”
“Katoh.”
“And you promise to use it when you need to?”
“I promise.”
He smiled softly at her, a bit of wickedness in his gaze as the last thing she saw before he lined the blindfold against her eyes and tied it behind her head, the excess ribbon falling against her hair like an elegant bow. She inhaled sharply as she lost one of her senses, the most she was getting a bit of red from the firelight poking it's way through the material. Her arms tensed, fingers twitching as though to reach for a weapon she didn’t have access to.
“You okay, Nan?” she heard him say, her head tilting to catch the sound.
“Yeah. It’s a lot more than I was expecting.”
“Just close your eyes, and feel.”
She could feel, alright. Nan was suddenly hyper aware of the bindings keeping her in place, the bite into her wrist and biceps when she tried to move as her warrior’s muscles fought against their restraints. The right side of her was being warmed by the flame, the sound of wood popping and crackling so much louder now. She became acutely aware of her surroundings, trying to paint the scene in her head. She couldn't tell where Bull was now, everything else having distracted her.
She hardly even realized what was happening as she was pushed backwards into the carpet. Her bindings kept her from reacting as she did as Bull had said, closing her eyes. The blindfold ensured that she couldn't see anything, but she knew what she must have looked like. The ribbons in an intricate web that went down between her breasts and lifted them, making them look more pronounced. Trailing down between her thighs and framing a cunt desperate for touch, legs pulled apart to completely expose her.
She heard the low rumble in Bull’s throat. “You look like you want something.”
“I do,” she said, just knowing that he was indulging in looking at her in her helpless state.
“Is that so?” She could hear the devious little smirk in his voice as he took on his role. “What is it you want, Enansalin?”
Nan had never thought her morbid name could ever be made to sound sexy, but hearing it come from his mouth had long since changed that. She swallowed, already feeling weak. “I want you to touch me.”
He hummed thoughtfully at this, just loud enough for Nan’s elf ears to catch. “Where should I touch you?”
This was the part that was always embarrassing in the beginning, no matter how many times they went through it, and she knew that Bull enjoyed watching her face flush and her lips part just slightly as she tried to speak. With the Dalish everyone universally agreed that sex was either done quietly or away from the camp. Here she couldn’t just stay quiet while someone went down on her. Nothing would happen if she stayed quiet.
She could feel the heat of his body as he leaned over her, bringing his mouth down to her ear. His breath was hot against her skin and she swallowed away the anxiety of not being able to see him as he spoke low and slow, “Where. Should. I. Touch. You?”
Nan squirmed against her restraints, her cheeks rosy from blushing as the usually fearless warrior was brought down by some ribbon and a question. “I-I…”
“Yes?”
“Everywhere,” she finally managed, even though she knew this answer wouldn’t get her anywhere. At least she was being honest.
She heard him hum again, tensing and letting out a gasp as she felt him nip at the sensitive little point of her ear. Nan’s arms tugged again against the ribbons, the bite into her wrists not yet dissuading her from doing so.
“How about here?” Bull’s fingertips found her collarbone, lightly trailing along the line of it. Her back arched into the touch and her hands curled into fists. He brushed them up her throat as her breath got caught in it, fingertips grazing her lips.
“Bull, please,” she begged.
“Please what?”
“M-my lips,” she managed. Fuck, this was always too awkward. “I want you to touch them. Please.”
She couldn’t see him, but she knew the faces he wore by now. Nan pictured the little smile he wore as she felt him take her chin between his thumb and index finger, thumb going upwards and rolling over her lower lip. She relaxed into the touch as he played with her, slipping his thumb just inside her mouth and playing with the soft tissue. The gentleness of it was like kissing, but better as he pressed against her tongue, switching to his index and middle fingers to toy with the insides of her cheeks and gums. Nan salivated at the taste of his salty calloused skin as she closed her lips to suck on him. Strong hands used for carrying heavy weapons now switched roles to bring gentle pleasure.
She let out a little sound of protest to get his hand out of her mouth so she could speak. “My throat,” she breathed out.
“Yes?” he asked.
“Touch me. Bite me.”
He chuckled at this. “Should I?”
“Bull, please,” she begged.
His fingers took hold of the ribbon between her breasts, using it to pull her up slightly. Her back and arms were no longer touching the carpet, feeling like she was floating before she let out a gasp at the feel of his mouth on her throat. Bull placed tender kisses on her throat before opening his mouth and biting down on her soft flesh hard enough to hurt but never bleed. Nan let out a little moan at the feel of the bite, her head lolling to the side as invitation for him to keep going. The heat that was pooling low in her stomach was maddening and she forced herself to focus on Bull. The hand he used to hold her up by ribbons digging into her arms and legs. His wide horns grazing her skin as his face buried into her neck and collar to kiss and bite and lick, drawing out moans from her while he let out little grunts that just added to everything else that she was feeling.
“Harder,” she managed.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes,” Nan insisted. “Please.”
He jerked her closer to him, almost nothing between them as he bit down hard on her neck, sucking on her skin roughly as his other hand reached behind her to grab her mess of brown hair and pulled her head up to reveal more of her skin to the light. He did it a few more times, ensuring that she would have numerous love bites on her neck when they were done.
“Bull, my waist,” she began. “My breasts. My hips.”
He chuckled at her eagerness, pulling his mouth away from her neck and lowering her back down to the floor. His hands rested on her ribs, splaying out his fingers as he grabbed at her skin. Nan’s back arched into his touch as he slid them up and towards her breasts, the ribbons still making them look far more pronounced than they really were. He took them in his hands, rolling her nipples between his thumbs and index fingers. The feel of his touch sent more heat down to her stomach and her thighs tensed, wanting to relieve some of the pressure that was building but still bound expertly so she was stuck moaning her desires.
He pinched her hard, causing her to let out a surprised yelp. Her breathing grew heavier as he brought his mouth down to her breasts, rolling the tender skin of her nipple between his teeth and sucking on her. He did this to both before kissing his way down her stomach, grabbing her waist roughly. Nan let out a moan as his fingers pressed hard into her skin, grabbing their way down to her hips and then her ass.
“Please,” she begged again, wanting something to help the tension in her groin.
“Please what?” he asked. “Use your words, Nan.”
“I need you to touch me,” she pleaded, squirming a little against the ribbons. “M-my cunt. Please.”
“Do you?” he asked, his fingers moving to her inner thighs, teasing her stretched skin and tracing along the lines of faded white marks.
“Please,” she repeated, desperate now.
Her begging finally paid off as he pushed her knees further apart, running one finger up her slit. Nan choked on her breath, gasping at his touch.
He hummed again. “Already so wet,” he purred, rolling his thumb over her clit. She moaned, her back arching as best it could under the current circumstances. Bull teased along the edges of her swollen cunt, Nan’s legs fighting against their restraints until he slipped a single digit between her folds. She let out a gasp and a moan as he pressed against the little bundle of nerves just inside of her. He rolled against it as she tried to grind against his hand, fighting the ribbons. They bit into her flesh as she bit her lip, old habits dying hard as she suppressed the sounds she wanted to make.
Bull pressed harder into her, her clit pinched under his thumb while his index finger continued to rolled over that same spot. Nan choked on her breath, a strangled sound coming from her closed lips.
“You’re holding back on me,” Bull chided, his middle finger sliding up against her slick walls and working to open her up. She felt his body hovering over hers and his breath against her ear again, Bull letting out a sensual hum and pressed even harder. Her toes curled and hands balled into fists, her muscles getting tenser as Bull’s low voice breathed into her ear, “Use your voice, Nan.”
Nan’s breath fell shakily though her lips, Bull playing with her until she finally let herself moan out loud. Her voice caught in her throat as he opened her up. “Fenedhis,” she swore as she tried to relax into Bull’s touch.
She protested as she felt his fingers leave her, wanting more. “Vegara,” she attempted before realizing she wasn’t speaking common any more. “Bull…”
Nan was cut off as she felt teeth bite her inner thigh, Bull sucking hard on her skin. She gasped sharply at this, feeling like she might go mad as he trailed his way over to her cunt. Strangled sounds left her mouth as she felt his tongue lick up her slit. His mouth closed over her swollen clit, sucking hard.
“Hngh, emma lath…” she breathed out. Then she realized what she said, her eyes opening and seeing nothing but a dull red glow. “Katoh! K-katoh.”
Without hesitation Bull pulled away at the sound of the watchword. Both of them were surprised by this, Nan having never used it before. “What’s wrong?” he asked, instantly worried.
“I-I…” She didn’t want to tell him. “Th-the blindfold, take it off.”
Bull did as requested, careful with her as he reached behind her head and began undoing the knot. “Do you need to sit up?”
“Y-yes,” she said, her face getting flush at the sight of the worry in his eye and concern on his face. He gently helped her so she was upright on her knees once again. “My arms…”
In seconds her wrists and elbows were freed from their locked position, the ribbon falling to the floor around her. More evidence that he’d been slow intentionally before. Nan breathed deeply, a lump forming in her throat as she put her face in her hands.
“What happened?” Bull asked, brows furrowed.
“Ma felasil,” Nan scolded herself. “Ma tela lath. ”
“Nan, you’re upset. Please tell me what wrong,” Bull pleaded. He’d never seen her like this before.
“Ar… I…” She lowered her hands and crossed her arms over her chest, not looking him in the eye. “What I said before I stopped.”
His brow lifted at this. “You mean in elvish?”
“Yes.”
“What did you say?”
She shook her head, retreating into her mind again. “I-I don’t…”
Bull reached out to her, putting a hand on her shoulder and cradling the right side of her face with the other. Nan kept her eyes closed as she nuzzled into the touch. She felt so safe with him…
“Nan,” he pleaded with her again.
“I don’t want to ruin this,” she finally said, her throat constricting. “What I said… I didn’t mean to, but it slipped out, and…” He was patient as he waited for her to tell him, still cradling her cheek. His warmth was such a comfort as tears stung her eyelids. “It… it translates to love. I have never had romantic feelings before, I didn’t think I even could. Have feelings like that, I mean. And when you told me that qunari don't have sex for love and I thought for once I could be safe but you… I… I’m so safe. It feels so right, but I don't want to fuck it up.”
Bull smiled carefully at her, brushing his thumb against her skin as a tear slipped out. He wiped it away, leaning forward and kissing the center of her forehead. Nan sniffed, finally opening her eyes and seeing the look on his face.
“Please say something,” she begged, those big copper eyes looking up at him almost desperately.
“Nan, you won’t fuck it up,” he said, almost promising her.
“But I already have,” she said, a couple more tears falling. “I have…”
He cut her off with a kiss, so much different than how they’d kissed before. Before kisses were part of the act, part of getting each other off. This was soft and tender, the taste of her still on his lips. She closed her eyes and relaxed into it, taking his face in her hands and kissing him back. He broke it off and smiled at her again. “You haven’t fucked up anything, Nan. And you won't.”
She breathed in to try and calm herself. “But you said qunari…”
“It’s a good thing I’m not qunari anymore,” he said, smirking.
Nan’s face broke into a smile and she let out a light laugh. “You ass,” she said light-heartedly, grabbing his face and kissing him hard. Bull held Nan's waist, leaning into her and nipping her lower lip with his teeth. She giggled as he started pressing her back towards the carpet.
He pulled away, catching himself. “Do you want to continue?”
“Definitely,” she said, nodding. She was still wound up from before, despite her minor breakdown. “That thing you were doing with your fingers felt so good.”
Bull smirked, taking hold of her hands and pinning her against the floor with one hand, the other finding her slit and sliding his fingers up against her ridge. Nan cried out, her wrists tugging against Bull’s hold as he pressed hard into her, thumb rolling against her still swollen clit.
“Mythal’enaste,” she cursed, moaning and squirming against his hold as he played with her and opened her up. “Bull, please.”
“Please what?”
“Please go down on me,” she begged. “I need you.”
He captured her mouth with his, kissing Nan hard and nipping her lower lip as he continued to finger her. Her legs still bound, she let out a whimper as she tried and failed relieve the tension building in her core. She bit at her lip, fighting against an orgasm that threatened to make her come undone.
“Bull please,” she begged, gasping and moaning. “Sathan! ”
“You're coming twice for me tonight,” he said, pressing hard and thrusting his fingers into her.
“Bull, I-I…” She lost her voice as her whole body began to tremble, the orgasm overtaking her and causing her to cry out. Bull continued to roll his fingertips over her nerves as he drew it out, Nan’s legs trembling and her wrists pulling hard against his hand.
She gasped for breath as he opened her back up, leaning down to kiss her throat. He bit at her bruising skin, dragging his teeth along love bites and reveling in the sounds she was making now that she let herself relax and be loud. He kissed her mouth, tugging at her lip and smiling against her. Bull slowly slid his fingers out of her cunt, making one last circle and swipe up her slit.
He hummed. “Open your mouth,” he purred. “Clean me up.”
Nan did as told, locking her lips around his fingers slick with her wet. She closed her eyes and sucked him off, ignoring the taste of her cunt and savoring the feel of his rough skin playing with her tongue and cheeks. She protested as he pulled his hand away.
“Do you still need me?” he asked.
Nan opened her eyes, her face flushed as she panted. “Yes."
He smiled and kissed her, reaching down with his free hand to position himself. She gasped against him as he filled her to the hilt, his large cock hardly fitting inside of her but enough so that they could both come. Bull liked to manipulate her orgasms, playing with her so they could come at the same time. Her took her hands in his, keeping them pinned above her head as he thrust into her. Nan’s back arched as she tried to meet him, crying out as he kept up a steady rhythm. He grunted as he kept going.
“You feel so good,” his low voice rumbled against her ear as he nipped at her point again. Nan gasped at this, moaning.
“Bull,” she breathed. “Harder. Please.”
He did as asked, getting into a better angle and thrusting harder into her. Nan threw her head back against the carpet, her back arching up as she cried out. Her breathing was choppy as she held Bull's hands tight.
“Ma lath, ” she gasped. “Bull…”
“I've got you,” he promised, letting out a moan of his own as his hips bucked against her and he came inside of her. The heat between them grew as he kissed her softly. Her walls clamped down hard around him and she came again with one last cry of his name. Nan trembled as he drew out her second orgasm, kissing the love bites on her neck tenderly as she fought to catch her breath.
“Kiss me,” she gasped. “Please.”
Bull did ask she asked, kissing her lips sweetly as he pulled out of her. He slowly let her arms down, the act over now that they were both satisfied. Nan breathed heavily on the floor as Bull set to work undoing the ribbons that kept the rest of her bound. She felt like she was going to pass out, palming at her sweaty face and staring up at the ceiling. Nan let out a grunt as her legs were finally free, stretching them out a bit now that she could. She let her eyes close and she just felt as the Bull freed her from her ribbon chains, listening as he shifted towards the fireplace and the bucket of water and soap that was warming on the mantle. Nan sighed as she listened to him wring out a rag and cleaned himself off.
“I’m going to clean you up now, okay?” he affirmed.
Nan hummed and nodded. “Okay.”
He chuckled lightly, wiping the warm washcloth along her inner thighs and removing some of the evidence of what they’d been doing. There were harsh lines in the skin of her legs and wrists from where she’d pulled so hard at the ribbons, sure to leave bruises later. Her throat was painted with dark red and purple from the countless love bites he’d left. A little way of saying that she was his, and reminding her of that.
She squirmed slightly as he wiped off her crotch, replacing the rag in the bucket and returning it to it’s spot on the mantle. Nan opened her eyes, smiling as she watched him put on his smallclothes and kneel down beside her. He tucked his arms under her knees and back, lifting her as though she weighed nothing and carrying her over the bed. Nan rolled over onto her stomach as Bull pulled a bottle of scented body oil from her bedside table. She breathed deeply the smell of lilacs and sighed as he massaged her back and shoulders, this little bit of their routine her favorite, especially after rougher sessions that had her strung up in awkward poses. They’d probably never be able to top the night they did it with her hanging from the chandelier. Her limbs had ached for days afterwards, but it was worth it.
He leaned down and trailed kisses down her spine before standing up, retrieving her linen robe from the couch and laying it across her like a blanket. Nan hummed at this, sitting up to put it on. Bull sat down beside her, reaching up and brushing back her long brown hair from her face. She pulled it all over one shoulder as he scooched further onto the wide bed she was glad could fit the both of them. Nan curled up beside him, Bull holding her close with one arm. He played with her hair as she cuddled him.
“Please don’t go,” she mumbled against him, her eyes closed and her breathing even. She was falling asleep.
A smile touched the Bull’s face as he hugged her to him. “Don’t worry, kadan. I’m not going anywhere.”