Chapter Text
True story: the first time that Kihyun sees his new boss, the first thing that jumps into his head is,
Boy,
am I in fucking trouble.
And then the new boss gives Kihyun a cursory once-over, top to bottom, and scowls and asks, “Who’re you?”
And Kihyun’s inner monologue switches to, what a fucking dick.
“Yoo Kihyun,” Kihyun says. “Nice to meet you.”
The guy looks unimpressed. “And you’re showing me around?” He doesn’t even bother to introduce himself.
“Sure am,” says Kihyun, unable to hold back at least a little bit of sarcasm.
The guy grins smugly.
Oh, what an excellent beginning.
—
Kihyun’s new boss doesn’t talk much. He’s tall and broad, wrapped in a dark suit that makes him look particularly imposing, and he’s got short black hair that’s styled up in the front in a way that Kihyun can only describe as dickish. His face is, apparently, stuck in an impassive expression, and whenever he asks Kihyun a question, he phrases it like he already doesn’t like the answer.
His name is Son Hyunwoo. Kihyun does not like him.
—
Apparently, Son Hyunwoo is some kind of a big deal. Kihyun knows this because, when Minhyuk had asked the other day who the new boss was going to be, and Kihyun had answered “Son Hyunwoo,” Minhyuk had said, “oh yeah, that guy’s supposed to be some kind of a big deal.”
Kihyun shows Hyunwoo around the floor that he works on—well, the floor they both work on now, he supposes—and with some relief realizes that it’s not just him; Hyunwoo seems dissatisfied by everyone and everything he encounters. He regards the entire floor with dispassionate disapproval, occasionally responding to Kihyun’s comments with low, condescending oh, yeah’s.
“Where’s your office?” he asks, cutting Kihyun off mid-sentence.
Peeved, Kihyun guides them towards his own space, down the hall from Hyunwoo’s. Hyunwoo surveys it like he’s watching a TV screen playing static fuzz. Kihyun silently considers that he probably should’ve taken the Stitch plushie off his desk earlier.
Minhyuk had described Hyunwoo as a big shot fixer, sweeping through departments and hiking up profit. Impressively efficient, productive as hell.
Probably because he’s a smug robot, Kihyun reasons.
For example.
“You seem to like working here,” Hyunwoo observes, as they come towards the end of their tour.
“I do.” Kihyun feels a little warm with pride as he shares, “Especially this department. Last year was its best year, actually. We’re doing really well.”
“You’re not, actually,” says Hyunwoo.
Kihyun turns to Hyunwoo. “What?”
“You’re not doing well,” Hyunwoo repeats. “The department’s underperforming, compared to the rest of the building.”
Kihyun reels, absorbing,
one: the rude suggestion that his department sucks, and
two: the downright insulting suggestion that Hyunwoo’s been brought here because Kihyun’s department sucks.
“Wow,” is all Kihyun can say, making a sound that isn’t really a laugh.
“Is that my office over there?” Hyunwoo asks, unconcerned. “We’re done looking around, right?”
Kihyun’s only too glad to tell him yes.
—
When Kihyun gets back to his office and checks his phone, he finds a text from Seulgi. Are we still on for Friday?
All Kihyun writes back is, sure, but it still takes him nearly five minutes to send it. He and Seulgi are caught in a strange place of reconciliation that’s made them both overly polite, and it means that now Kihyun deliberates on every word he speaks or writes, so that all communication takes ten times as long.
How about dinner? she writes.
Kihyun hesitates. He imagines the awkward silence likely to descend over any meal they try to have together.
Maybe a movie? he suggests instead. Less talking, more watching. I’ll check the times.
Sounds good, she sends back. Let me know.
—
“Alright,” Hoseok says, slapping at the tabletop and sliding into the seat opposite Kihyun’s. “Gimme the scoop.”
Kihyun can’t help a smile. “Such a gossip.”
“Why thank you,” Hoseok says brightly, splaying an elegant hand across his chest. “Anyway. Spill! I haven’t seen him yet. What’s he like?”
Ugh, right. Kihyun rolls his eyes.
“That bad?” Hoseok asks, before Kihyun can even speak.
“Yes!” Kihyun insists, and he explodes just a little bit, because he hasn’t been able to complain to anyone else about it yet. He stabs at his food. “He’s a total asshole! So fucking smug. You wouldn’t believe it.”
“I would,” Hoseok assures him, eating with much more elegance. “What’d he do?”
“He insulted the department, right to my face. Apparently this place isn’t good enough for him.” Kihyun gestures to indicate the space around them. Now, the sterile, fluorescently-lit company cafeteria might not be the best place to make his point, but he goes with it. “He was rude from the first second. I bet he’s going to fire a bunch of people. And then he’ll treat me like his own personal assistant, mark my words. I’ll be fetching coffee in no time.”
Hoseok frowns. “You would make a terrible secretary.”
“Thanks?” Kihyun guesses, holding back a laugh.
He stills when he spots Hyunwoo striding into the cafeteria. Kihyun’s surprised the guy even deigns to show up in such a place. Kihyun indicates his head towards the entrance, over Hoseok’s shoulder. “There. That’s him.”
Hoseok, lacking any subtlety in this world or any other, turns nearly his whole body to look.
“Jesus fuck,” he says. “Yeah sure, you said he’s a jerk, but you didn’t say he was fucking gorgeous.”
Kihyun’s ears go hot.
“I mean, holy hell,” Hoseok adds, but when he turns back and catches Kihyun’s expression, he clears his throat.
Hoseok and Kihyun have been friends for a while, and they’ve seen each other and hung out nearly every day since Hoseok started working here. And Kihyun knows Hoseok’s into guys. It’s not a problem or anything. But there’s always this unspoken discomfort when it comes up in conversation between them, so Hoseok’s learned to back off the topic. Maybe Kihyun has too.
“Anyway,” Hoseok says. “He’s only been here for what, a day?”
“A day and a half,” Kihyun corrects, ripping viciously into his carton of juice.
Hoseok takes the carton before Kihyun can massacre it completely. “Okay, so, give the guy a chance. Maybe he’s just got a rough exterior. Needs time to warm up.”
“I doubt it,” Kihyun complains, stealing back his juice and taking a resentful gulp.
But he does take a second to, against all of his instincts, try and be optimistic.
—
Nope, Hoseok was wrong. Hyunwoo’s as bad as Kihyun thought.
The first thing Hyunwoo, as Kihyun’s new boss, asks Kihyun to do is to make copies.
The second thing is for Kihyun to deliver those copies to other departments.
I fucking told you, Kihyun struggles to text Hoseok, with his phone in one hand and six million copies in the other. And the next thing will be—
The third thing is to fucking bring him coffee.
“Are you serious?” Kihyun blurts, unable to hold back.
Hyunwoo smirks.
“Just wanted to see if you’d do it,” he says. He looks back at his computer screen like Kihyun isn’t even there, waiting for a goddamn explanation.
“Excuse me,” Kihyun says.
“What,” Hyunwoo says. “Do you need me to tell you to leave?”
”Excuse me,” Kihyun repeats, voice bordering on shrill.
The fourth thing Hyunwoo tells Kihyun to do is to go away.
—
“I thought that was pretty good,” Seulgi murmurs, as they make their way out of the theatre.
Kihyun nods. The movie had been nice. And the date too, he thinks. They didn’t do much interacting, but they’d laughed together at the same parts, and when the protagonist was made fun of for being clumsy, Seulgi’d elbowed him with a that’s you grin, and Kihyun had grinned back.
“Good choice,” he commends, and she grins shyly. God, she’s beautiful, almost objectively, Kihyun thinks. Kihyun always thought that if she tried, Seulgi could be a model, or a famous actress, or something. How Kihyun ended up with her at any point in time is completely beyond him.
“How’s work?” she asks, and Kihyun’s abruptly yanked from his good mood.
Hyunwoo’s smug face flashes across his mind. Kihyun coughs.
“Um.” He crushes his empty fountain drink and tosses it into the next trash can they pass. “Not the greatest.”
“Oh no.” Seulgi’s beautiful face pulls into a frown. “What is it?”
Kihyun’s about to complain, but he thinks better of it. Better not to bring it up, says some voice in the back of his head. She doesn’t want to hear him complain about work anyway. That’s awful date talk.
“It’s fine,” he finally says. “Just some changes in management. It’ll work out. How’s work for you?”
Seulgi brightens, and Kihyun lets himself get lost in her update.
—
“What are you doing?” Kihyun asks, as Hyunwoo slips into step beside him.
“Going to the meeting you told me about,” Hyunwoo says, doing that sophisticated one-handed button-up thing with his suit jacket that Kihyun was never able to get down.
“…Why?”
“Seriously?” Hyunwoo says. He looks entertained.
Okay yeah, Hyunwoo’s the boss, but these are Kihyun’s people. He always does these meetings. He doesn’t need help. He doesn’t need some new person—who doesn’t even know what’s going on—to step in and mess things up.
“You don’t need to come with me,” Kihyun insists, as politely as he is able. Infuriatingly, he has to walk a little faster to keep up with Hyunwoo.
Hyunwoo does laugh this time. “You don’t need to come with me.”
Kihyun actually stops in his tracks.
“But if you do tag along,” Hyunwoo lilts, stopping too and rounding on Kihyun, “you can let me do the talking.”
Kihyun has to take a deep breath, so he can resist the urge to punch Hyunwoo in the face.
“I’m going,” he tells Hyunwoo, voice faltering with rage. “With you.”
Hyunwoo shrugs. “Alright.” He resumes walking. “But if you talk, try not to embarrass yourself, okay?”
—
Kihyun doesn’t realize he’s walked all the way down a floor and into Hoseok’s office until he’s shouting inside of it.
“He’s just so fucking rude!” Kihyun exclaims.
Hoseok stares at him, frozen mid-type.
“Oh god,” Kihyun says. “This isn’t one of those deals where I’m on speakerphone with all your bosses, is it?”
Hoseok’s mouth drops open, but thank god, he laughs. “Nah, it’s just me.” He leans back in his chair, intrigued. “Is this about the new boss? Hottie McHotterson?”
Kihyun sighs, dropping into one of the chairs in front of Hoseok’s desk. “I miss my old boss.”
Hoseok frowns. “Ah, but he was way less hot.”
Kihyun’s not going to get into that. “Who cares, he let me do whatever I wanted.” He waves a hand. “Not even that, he let me do my job.”
Hoseok leans back in his chair. “So.”
“So?”
“So,” Hoseok says, “stand up for yourself. Take back your responsibilities.”
Kihyun grimaces. Hyunwoo already doesn’t like him, and getting in his face or telling him off can’t help. “I don’t know if it’s come to that.”
“Maybe not,” Hoseok says. “But it doesn’t hurt to have the option, can it?”
—
When he next visits Hyunwoo’s office, Kihyun finds his new boss sitting with his feet propped up on his desk. As in, his actual shoes are resting on the desk’s surface. Like that’s a thing people do. Like he’s king of the building. Kihyun holds back a sigh.
“Hi,” Kihyun greets, brandishing a stack of documents. “Um, if you have a moment to sign some stuff.”
Hyunwoo beckons Kihyun over—what, he can’t even say come in?—and Kihyun passes documents over one by one while resisting the urge to tell Hyunwoo to put his feet down.
“You have plans for the weekend?” Hyunwoo asks, handing back a signed form.
The question surprises Kihyun, since Hyunwoo’s never shown anything more than total disinterest in him as a living creature. “Um, yeah,” he answers. He hands over a packet. “I have plans.”
“With friends?”
“Sort of.”
“Girlfriend?” Hyunwoo flips through the packet to get to the last page.
Kihyun’s about to correct Hyunwoo, but then he realizes that he doesn’t know how to explain that he and Seulgi were once a couple, and then were almost engaged, and then broke off the engagement, and now are spending time together again after three months apart, and maybe are now getting back together, so instead he just answers, “Yeah.”
Hyunwoo laughs shortly, like it’s funny. Funny that Kihyun has plans with his girlfriend.
Irritation crawls under Kihyun’s skin. “What?”
“Nothing,” Hyunwoo says, but when he looks up at Kihyun, he looks like he’s holding in another laugh.
Kihyun does not like to be laughed at.
“Is that all?” he asks, itching to get away.
“I don’t know. Is that all?” Hyunwoo echoes. He inclines his head towards Kihyun’s stack of papers, and Kihyun remembers that he’s the one who came in to ask for signatures.
It’s not all, there’s more stuff to be signed, but Kihyun will make someone else get the signatures, or ask Hyunwoo again another day. He’ll forge the signature if he has to. He just can’t be around this asshole any longer. “Yeah, that’s it,” he says, departing with a bitter, “thanks.”
Hyunwoo carelessly calls after him, “Have a good date.”
Kihyun shakes it off and shuts himself away in his office till the day’s end.
—
Kihyun’s able to avoid Hyunwoo for a fantastic day and a half before they interact again, and when they do talk again, Kihyun’s right in the middle of a text conversation with Seulgi. Lately he’s been trying to message her whenever he’s had a break at work, but today the exchange has been—well, bizarre. The conversation keeps switching between horrifyingly boring and teetering right on the edge of some kind of disagreement, and Kihyun has no idea why.
“Oh good, you’re here,” comes Hyunwoo’s voice, and he sounds bored. Kihyun puts down his phone as Hyunwoo rounds his desk. “I need you to go talk to someone for me, first with Accounting to ask if they’ve signed off on those budget records—”
“No,” says Kihyun.
“And then check about that guy I’m meeting with later, whatshisname—”
“No.”
Hyunwoo pauses.
“What?”
“I said no,” Kihyun repeats.
Hyunwoo stares at him.
“I’m not doing that, I’m not doing any of that,” Kihyun says.
“Oh yeah?” Hyunwoo responds, expression unreadable.
Kihyun takes a deep breath. “None of that is my work. Before you showed up I ran practically everything, and now you’re just stealing a bunch of that from me.” Another deep breath. “I’m not some intern who you can make fetch things, and I’m not your messenger.” He looks at Hyunwoo pointedly. “So no, I will not do that. I will do my job, and you will do yours, whatever that is, I have no freaking clue, and you will stop ordering me around. And,” he tries to seem authoritative, “you are not firing anyone.”
“I’m not firing anyone,” Hyunwoo says.
Kihyun exhales. “That’s right.”
“No,” Hyunwoo says, “I’m saying, I wasn’t going to fire anyone.”
“Oh,” Kihyun says, surprised.
Hyunwoo asks, “Where’d you get that idea?”
Kihyun doesn’t know. He half-shrugs. Hyunwoo raises a brow.
“Okay.” He crosses his arms. “No more errands. No more taking work tasks from you. I’ll let you be. Is that what you wanted?”
“Yes,” Kihyun says slowly, though it kind of feels like a trap.
“Wish granted,” Hyunwoo says. When Kihyun doesn’t respond, he adds, “What? Do you have a question?”
“No,” Kihyun says.
Hyunwoo does something very disarming. He smiles at Kihyun.
“I had no idea I was getting under your skin,” he says.
Kihyun hopes to god he’s joking.
—
“Helloooo?” a hand waves in front of Kihyun’s face, pulling him from his thoughts. “Anyone home?”
Kihyun swats Jooheon’s hand away.
“Ey! He lives!” Jooheon shouts over the thumping music. Jooheon points at Kihyun’s head. “What’s goin’ on in there, princess?”
“I was just thinking,” Kihyun shouts back. “You should try it.”
The whole table ooohs. “Shots fired!” Minhyuk crows.
“We’re gonna go dance.” Jooheon tilts his head towards the dance floor, where the lights are dancing in time with the pounding bass. “Take a break from all that thinking,” Jooheon adds, and Hoseok elbows him, eyes bright.
“I would, but I don’t want to show you up,” Kihyun teases, and Jooheon laughs. Kihyun waves them away, and Jooheon wrangles Hoseok and Minhyuk with him to the dance floor, leaving Kihyun and Changkyun to nurse their drinks.
“You okay?” Changkyun asks.
“I’m fine,” Kihyun says, but he can hear how uncomfortable it sounds.
“Is it Seulgi?”
Kihyun shakes around the ice at the bottom of his empty glass. “It’s—a lot of things.”
“You know,” Changkyun says, “you don’t have to get back together with her, just because you can.”
“That’s not what it is,” Kihyun says automatically. He knows that, anyway. He doesn’t know why Changkyun would think he doesn’t.
“Are you sure?” Changkyun asks, and it’s very polite, but Kihyun is not interested in this conversation right now.
Better cut it off at the pass. “I’ll just—I’m gonna go get another drink.” Kihyun gets up and heads to the bar.
He’s waiting for his drink, leaning up against the bar, when someone sidles up next to him. He looks to see who it is, and—oh, come on.
“Hey there,” Hyunwoo greets, smug grin in place. And Kihyun thought he could get away from this guy for one goddamn second.
Turns out Hyunwoo’s presence is just as annoying outside of their office building as it is inside it; he lazily leans up against the bar the same way he reclines in his chair at the office, like he can take up as much space as he wants, no problem, and the after-hours effect is driven home by his wearing a blazer that looks a lot like a suit jacket, but with a v-neck under it. He looks tousled and hazy under the bar lights, and Kihyun really hopes he isn’t drunk.
“How are you,” Kihyun deadpans.
Sounding pretty sober, Hyunwoo answers, “I’m well.” Ugh, even that’s annoying. Kihyun’s never been so irritated by proper grammar. “How about you?”
“Fine,” Kihyun answers, praying for his drink to arrive.
“Where’s that girlfriend of yours?”
Kihyun’s cheeks pink.
“She’s not here tonight.” He taps at the shellacked surface of the bar. He doesn’t know why, but then he adds, “she’s not actually my girlfriend, right now.”
Hyunwoo just smiles.
“I bet,” is all he says. He takes a drink from his glass.
Kihyun feels like he’s missing something. Something lost in all the sounds and lights around them. “What?”
Hyunwoo doesn’t answer.
Irritated, Kihyun repeats, “What?”
“Nothing,” Hyunwoo says.
“Tell me,” Kihyun insists, prickling with annoyance.
Hyunwoo shakes his head. Still smiling, he says, “I hope you’re happy.”
Kihyun stares at Hyunwoo.
He hears his drink clink down onto the bar in front of him.
“Thanks,” Kihyun says to the bartender, and grabs his glass and strides away.
“Who was that?” Changkyun asks, when Kihyun’s back at their corner.
“No one,” Kihyun says. He throws back his drink, then slams the glass down onto the low table in front of them. “Come on, let’s dance.”
—
“What’d she say?…Yeah, I guess it’s a little weird. You’re right. But do you feel okay about it?”
Kihyun balances his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he listens to Seulgi’s answer, and tries to clear off his desk at the same time. Thankfully, their conversation today is much less stilted than most of their recent exchanges have been, but Kihyun is still taking things slow, just in case. Phone conversations seem safer than in-person ones right now.
“No, that’s good! Good.” Kihyun’s phone buzzes against his ear uncomfortably, and Kihyun grimaces. “How has the week been otherwise?” he asks, but his phone buzzes against his ear again a couple times, and he squirms. “Hold on, someone won’t stop texting me.” He pulls the phone away to check.
yrly summaries??? Minhyuk’s texted, roughly eight thousand times.
Right—there are yearly presentations each department has to do to tell the higher-ups what they’ve accomplished, and the departments must’ve just gotten the emails with their deadlines. Kihyun usually takes on the project by himself, and unsurprisingly, no one has fought to take it away. Kihyun prefers it like that anyway.
Minhyuk wants to confirm that Kihyun’s doing his project alone again this year—Minhyuk always complains that he’s required to do it with a bunch of unreliable teammates who heap all the work on him—and Kihyun opens up his email to find what Minhyuk’s talking about and yeah, it’ll be Kihyun’s baby again this year, as it should be.
He’s about to quickly text Minhyuk back, something smug along the lines of you’re so jellyyyyy when something in the email catches his eye, and. Actually.
No, Kihyun will not be working on the project alone.
Kihyun lifts the phone back up to his ear. “Seulgi,” he says, voice faltering. “Can I call you back?”
—
“Okay,” Hoseok says carefully. “Let’s just—take a step back from the situation.”
“I can’t work with him,” Kihyun pleads, like Hoseok can change the decision.
Hoseok shakes his head. “You can, Kihyunnie.”
“I can’t. I can’t.” Kihyun begins to feel himself slip into panic. “I hate him.”
“Kihyun, just sit down,” Hoseok begs.
Kihyun obeys, halting his pacing. He takes a deep breath in, and out.
“God,” he whines, resigned.
Hoseok picks up the Stitch plushie sitting on Kihyun’s desk and waves it at Kihyun.
“Kihyunnie,” Hoseok says, moving the plushie in time with his words. “Tell us why you don’t want to work with your boss.”
Kihyun grits his teeth.
“Because I hate him.”
“Tell the truth, Kihyun,” insists Hoseok, and Kihyun looks away, face hot.
“I just don’t want to. Work with him.”
Hoseok sighs. Kihyun feels the plushie press at his cheek.
“Mwa!” Hoseok says, smacking his lips, and Kihyun can’t help a half-laugh.
Hoseok replaces the plushie on Kihyun’s desk. “It’ll be fine,” he assures Kihyun.
God, Kihyun hopes so.
—
“I was thinking,” Hyunwoo says.
“No,” Kihyun says immediately. He flicks a paperclip across his desk.
Hyunwoo’s eyes follow the paperclip as it whizzes by him, but he doesn’t comment. “We should include the changes I want to implement. In the presentation.”
Kihyun swallows back his anger, and resists aiming the next projectile at Hyunwoo’s forehead. “We don’t need changes.”
“My job is to make changes,” Hyunwoo says. “Or else I wouldn’t have been brought to the department.”
“We don’t need changes,” Kihyun repeats. He’s getting more mad than he should allow himself to be, but he can’t help it. “We don’t need your help.”
“Kihyun,” Hyunwoo says, and Kihyun stills, realizing he’s never heard Hyunwoo say his name out loud before. “This wasn’t my idea. Us doing the project together. It’s just how it was assigned.”
“Right.”
“I’m serious,” Hyunwoo says, and he actually does look serious.
Kihyun pauses. Is Hyunwoo—is he trying to make sure Kihyun isn’t mad at him? “I have some ideas,” Hyunwoo continues, “if you would chill for a second to listen to them.”
“You gonna fire people?” Kihyun snarks.
“No, Kihyun—” Hyunwoo looks exasperated, and Kihyun is stunned again by Hyunwoo using his name. “I’m not going to fire anyone. Would you let that go? No one ever said anything about firing.”
Kihyun huffs. “Then what are you going to do?”
“Redistribute the budget,” Hyunwoo says, and Kihyun rolls his eyes.
“So, firing.”
“Would you just listen for a second?” Hyunwoo says. “Okay, look. Here’s an example. You know how we reward employees for loyalty? These like, celebrations and certificates for sticking around?”
“Yeah,” Kihyun says reluctantly.
“Right now we do it for people staying for a long time, you know, you’ve been here for six months or a year, congrats, here’s a piece of paper.” Hyunwoo waves his hand in dismissal.
“Yeah, everyone does it like that,” Kihyun says, suspicious.
“Yeah, but it doesn’t work.” Hyunwoo flips through papers on his desk until he pulls out one that’s got a makeshift calendar scribbled onto it, next to a bunch of math. “You tell people, good job for staying here so long, and it seems like an incentive but it actually makes employees feel old and like they’re not going anywhere. If anything, it sends them running to another job.”
He holds up a finger. “But. What if we stop doing that, and start rewarding people for stuff that actually has to do with their skill? Like coming up with unique solutions to problems, or finishing assignments early?”
Kihyun doesn’t know what to say, so Hyunwoo continues, “We’ll come up with a system where people get rewards for doing things they enjoy, like being creative. Then they’ll want to stay, because they’ll feel valued. What’s better than that?” He waves his hand again. “Plus, making these loyalty certificates for everyone is weird and it’s costing more money than you’d think.”
“But,” Kihyun says, “everyone’s fine with this system.”
“Yeah they’re fine,” Hyunwoo says, “because they don’t know there’s a better option out there.”
“It’ll be weird,” Kihyun insists, but he’s not even sure if that’s true. “We’ll be different from all the other departments.”
“Yeah, but,” Hyunwoo spreads his hands, “who cares?”
Kihyun…does not know.
“This is what we put in the presentation.” Hyunwoo points again at the paper, and Kihyun can’t really read his scribbly handwriting, but he gets the point. “You said it yourself, you’ve got excellent people. They’re just not being incentivized properly. We’ll say, hey, we’re not just doing a good job, we’ve also got ideas for how to make things better. And save money at the same time. Boom.”
Kihyun’s pretty sure Hyunwoo didn’t mean to say that boom part out loud, since he looks slightly embarrassed about it, but Kihyun can’t even focus on that because he’s genuinely impressed. It’s a good idea, and for the first time, he’s pretty sure Hyunwoo has displayed the qualities of an actual human being.
“See?” Hyunwoo says. “I told you I wasn’t going to fire anyone.”
—
“I’ve got a big project due soon,” Kihyun shares, when he’s out grabbing coffee with Seulgi in the morning. She’d volunteered to walk him to work after, and they’re now almost at Kihyun’s building. “About three weeks from now.”
“Is it that yearly thing?” Seulgi asks, and Kihyun has to appreciate that she’s paid enough attention to remember things like that.
“Yep.” He rotates the cardboard sleeve around his coffee. “Actually, I probably won’t be able to talk or go out much during that last week, so. You know. I’m sorry in advance.”
“Oh.” Seulgi nods. “Sounds stressful, but I understand.” Her frown turns to a smile, and it’s as brilliant as ever. “Let’s do something to celebrate after. What do you think?”
“Sounds good,” Kihyun says. That’ll be a relief. After all this is over, he can just go back to being with Seulgi, no complications. Perfect.
“I hope someone’s helping you on that project this year,” she chides. “I know you can handle it but, last time it really seemed like a lot of work for one person.”
“Oh. No, um, it’s okay,” Kihyun says. “I’ve got help this time.”
“Really?” she says, brightening.
“Yep, yeah,” Kihyun says quickly. “It’s not a big deal.”
—
“I don’t know,” Kihyun says. “It makes sense to me, but I’ve been looking at it for two weeks. And if people can’t understand it, then we shouldn’t even present it.”
“Right. It makes sense to me too, but I made it.” Hyunwoo crosses his arms. We made it, Kihyun mutters, mostly to be difficult, but of course Hyunwoo ignores him. “Should we bring someone else in? To check it out.”
“Maybe.” Kihyun tilts his head, squinting at the diagram they’ve thrown up onto the projector. “Or we could try rearranging it.” He backs up to get a better look.
As he moves backwards, his legs hit the low table behind him and he almost trips off his feet. He’s just stopped from falling by a big pair of hands closing around his biceps.
It takes Kihyun a second to register that Hyunwoo has caught him, and then another second to register that Hyunwoo is still holding him. Kihyun looks up at his boss, who is quite close, and his whole body goes warm with embarrassment.
“I’m fine,” Kihyun grumbles, shaking his arms out of Hyunwoo’s grasp.
As soon as he tries to get his bearings, though, he stumbles back over the table again, and Hyunwoo catches him once more.
“Clumsy,” Hyunwoo says.
“Don’t touch me,” Kihyun snaps.
Hyunwoo moves his hands off like they’re on fire.
Kihyun tries not to think about how red his face must be. “Sorry,” he mutters, and Hyunwoo doesn’t say anything. Fuck. Shit. “Yeah, um, on second thought,” he adds quickly, “let’s get another pair of eyes on this.”
“I’ll make sure we find someone,” Hyunwoo volunteers, moving away, and after that they go almost back to normal.
—
“Bright side,” Hoseok says. “It’ll be over soon. You present in a week, right?”
“Ten days,” Kihyun corrects. Hoseok’s phone buzzes for the millionth time in the past two minutes, and Kihyun gives him a look. “Check out Mr. Popular over here.”
“It’s nothing,” Hoseok says, but he looks kind of caught out.
“Did you guys start another group chat without me?” Kihyun asks. “Look, I still want everyone’s life updates, I just didn’t want to be a part of the Mountain Dew debate.”
Hoseok’s phone buzzes again, and his hand flies out to cover the screen. “It’s not that! It’s just someone I met. A friend. A new one.” He turns the phone over. “No big deal.” He distracts Kihyun when he adds, “It was Code Red, by the way. That’s the best flavor.”
“I truly don’t care,” Kihyun warns, but of course Hoseok doesn’t listen.
He’s just about to describe to Kihyun why Jooheon believes the white flavor is part of a government conspiracy when Hyunwoo appears in the doorway.
“I’ll see you later,” Kihyun tells Hoseok, and Hoseok politely bids Kihyun goodbye, walking past Hyunwoo to exit.
Hyunwoo asks, “Who’s that?”
“Who’s who?”
“That guy,” Hyunwoo says. Kihyun’s not sure if it’s just him, but Hyunwoo’s expression seems especially impassive, even more than usual. “The one who was just here.”
“Hoseok?” Kihyun says. “He works here. A floor down.”
“You seem to hang out with him a lot.”
Kihyun almost laughs from how weird Hyunwoo is being. “It’s just Hoseok.”
“Are you two,” Hyunwoo begins, then stops himself.
The suggestion is so bizarre and unexpected, and so disconcerting to Kihyun, that it makes something twist in his stomach. “What?” he says, and he means his words as a taunt, but what he says only heightens his discomfort. “You interested in him?”
But Hyunwoo emphatically tells Kihyun, “No,” with enough intensity to knock Kihyun off kilter.
Kihyun looks at him, and feels a…something in the air between them.
“You have to look these over,” Kihyun says, desperate for a diversion from this peculiar moment. He shoves a couple random pieces of paper into Hyunwoo’s hands and makes his exit.
—
I was thinking of you today :)
Is the project going okay?
I miss you! <3
Kihyun replies to Seulgi’s texts before it’s too late in the evening, since he knows he’ll be stuck working with Hyunwoo for at least a couple more hours before he can go home. I miss you too. The project is alright. I hope your day was good! Send.
—
“It’s weird to put the budget that early in the slideshow, move it later,” Kihyun says, rubbing at his arms as he’s wracked with another shiver. “It’s like, uncouth to throw out numbers in the beginning. We’re better than that.”
“Would you put on a jacket or something?” Hyunwoo puts the cap back on the marker he’s holding. “I’m tired of watching you shake like a chihuahua over there.”
“I’m fine.” They’ve stayed late enough in the building that the heat has been turned off, and that wouldn’t be a problem, except that Kihyun is freezing and Hyunwoo seems totally unaffected. Kihyun’s not going to wimp out in front of him. “It’s not that cold.”
“Seriously,” Hyunwoo says. “I’m pretty sure you’re small enough to freeze to death.”
“For real?” Kihyun complains. “I’m not that much smaller than you.” But when he goes to write on the whiteboard they’ve dragged into the room, his hand shakes so badly that the marker skitters off the board’s surface.
“Okay,” Hyunwoo announces, “enough.” He retrieves his suit jacket off the back of his office chair and flings it at Kihyun. “Put this on.”
Kihyun catches the jacket. “No thanks,” he scowls.
“Would you not?” Hyunwoo rolls his eyes. “I won’t be held responsible for whatever happens to you. I’ll probably get charged with endangering a child.”
Oh, but he’s just so cold. Resentfully, Kihyun tugs the jacket over his shoulders. “If it’ll shut you up,” he grumbles. Holy hell, he thinks he’s going to drown in this thing. He knew Hyunwoo was taller and broader than him, but come on. “How are you not freezing?”
“I’m a human furnace,” Hyunwoo says absently. “Here, what about putting the budget halfway through?”
They call it quits an hour and a half later, Hyunwoo insisting that they both need sleep, and they clean up the office and get ready to leave.
As they’re heading for the door, Hyunwoo stops and gives Kihyun a funny look.
“What?”
Hyunwoo gives Kihyun a once-over. “My jacket.”
“Oh.” Kihyun blushes. He didn’t realize he was still wearing it. “Here.” He moves to take it off, but Hyunwoo stops him.
“It’s fine, hold onto it.”
“No, no,” Kihyun says, because now it feels weird, and it’ll be weird if he keeps wearing it.
“No, if you’re cold inside the building then you’ll definitely die once you step foot outside.” There’s no mention of the fact that Kihyun’s got a jacket somewhere in his own office too, and that it would take three seconds to go get it. Hyunwoo’s gaze won’t quite focus on Kihyun. “Just take it, give it back tomorrow.”
Kihyun fidgets. “But what about you?”
Hyunwoo sighs dramatically. “Hopefully I’ll live.”
—
“Hey.”
Kihyun’s being gently shaken awake. His face is really uncomfortable, on whatever it’s squished up against.
“Hey,” the voice repeats.
Kihyun peels his face off—is that his desk?—his desk, apparently, and blinks a couple times to see Hyunwoo peering at him.
Shit. He must’ve fallen asleep. At work, in front of Hyunwoo. Christ. Last he remembers, Hyunwoo had headed off somewhere to retrieve more printer paper, and Kihyun was going to lay his head down for one second.
At least it’s after hours and no one else is here to witness it. “Well,” Kihyun says, hearing his own sleep-rough voice. “That’s embarrassing.”
Hyunwoo laughs. It’s oddly natural, not mocking like his laughs usually are. “It’s not that bad.” He settles back down into his chair on the other side of the desk, and props his feet up, but thankfully on the chair beside him and not on Kihyun’s desk. He smirks. “I’ve been caught in much more embarrassing situations at work.”
Kihyun doesn’t want to know. “I don’t want to know,” he says.
Hyunwoo shrugs. “Fine.”
They sit there in silence for a second, and the Hyunwoo adds, “If you’re that tired, then you should probably just go—”
“I changed my mind, I want to know,” Kihyun says. “Your embarrassing thing.”
Hyunwoo smiles.
“Okay, so, once I slept over at work because I’d stayed really late—hold on, that’s not the embarrassing part—and when I got up in the morning, I thought it was before anyone had showed up, and I had a change of clothes in my office, so I decided to change.”
“Oh,” Kihyun can tell where this is going, “oh no.”
“I was in the middle of changing,” Hyunwoo gestures towards his large frame, “and my boss walked right in.”
“Oh god,” Kihyun says. “Don’t say it was—”
“No bottoms,” Hyunwoo confirms.
Kihyun groans. “Noooooo.”
“At least I had underwear on,” Hyunwoo grins. “I think it was the boxers with the hearts on them?”
Kihyun almost has to bite into his fist to stifle his laugh. Hyunwoo’s smile is unexpectedly goofy, and it surprises Kihyun into wanting to continue the conversation.
“Okay, okay,” Kihyun has to hold back a smile, “I spilled coffee on an important client. With all my coworkers watching.”
“No, no,” Hyunwoo shakes his head.
“All over,” Kihyun says, gesturing down towards his thighs. “Right into the lap. Steaming hot.”
Hyunwoo laughs dorkily, his eyes crinkling up, and Kihyun laughs too. It looks like Hyunwoo’s about to share another story when Kihyun’s phone chimes.
Kihyun means to just glimpse at the screen, but then he sees the message is from Seulgi. Still stuck at work? :(
Kihyun’s smile drops, and he mutters, “hold on, sorry,” and types out a reply as quickly as he can.
Hyunwoo’s expression is blank. “Was that your girlfriend?” he asks, after a long, uncomfortable silence. “Or, not girlfriend,” he adds, and Kihyun remembers their conversation at the bar from a while ago, when Kihyun had inexplicably disclosed that he and Seulgi were on the ‘off’ side of things.
Kihyun considers not answering, but then says, “kind of.”
Hyunwoo raises a brow, so Kihyun elaborates, “We broke up, but now we’re…seeing each other again.”
“Right.” After more silence, Hyunwoo follows up with, “What’s her name?”
“No,” Kihyun says.
Hyunwoo’s lips curl. “No for a girl? Can’t say I’ve heard that one before.”
“No,” Kihyun says, “as in, no, I’m not telling you.”
Hyunwoo’s smile disappears.
“I don’t think I should say,” Kihyun continues. He swallows against something heavy in his throat. “I don’t want to say. And I—I don’t think you want to know either.”
Hyunwoo is uncharacteristically speechless for a moment.
“You’re right,” he finally says. “I don’t.”
—
It’s not that Kihyun’s relationship with Seulgi hasn’t been good. It’s been great. He likes spending time with her, and he can’t deny that there’s something excellent and really fun and magnetic about her that makes moments feel special.
And it was never like the…well, the sex between them was bad. It was good. It was fine. Just never as exciting as Kihyun had thought sex with the person you loved would be. Seulgi always seemed to enjoy herself so Kihyun figured it was just him, maybe he wasn’t destined for that explosive affection or mind-blowing fucking that people always talked about.
Everything was fine, but then they started to talk about getting engaged, and during one conversation Kihyun just. Freaked. It wasn’t even a big deal. Just a moment of Seulgi joking about what their one-day life could be like. Having a fancy house, he thinks she said. With a picket fence. That was the fantasy. She wasn’t being serious. But it freaked Kihyun out so badly that he couldn’t move for twenty minutes.
It didn’t take them long to break up after that.
—
“Are you alright?” Changkyun asks, pausing the show they’re watching. “You’ve been grinding your jaw over there for at least fifteen minutes.”
Kihyun exhales. Changkyun’s right; they’ve sat through two episodes of this new show Changkyun wanted them to watch and Kihyun couldn’t recall one plot point if someone put a gun to his head. And the point of this was for Kihyun to relax a bit before the presentation was close. “Just stressed out.”
“Is everything okay?”
“I guess,” Kihyun says, but he’s starting to think it’s not. He fidgets where he’s sat on the couch across from Changkyun. “It’s just work, and—you know, a lot of things.”
“How are things with Seulgi?”
Kihyun bristles, but tries not to show it. “Fine.”
“Jooheon says you two went on a date,” Changkyun says. “How was it?”
“Fine,” Kihyun repeats. He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly angry about it all of a sudden. Maybe it’s finding out that his friends are talking about him behind his back. Or maybe it’s because Changkyun has always been weirdly skeptical of Kihyun’s relationship with Seulgi, even after all this time.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Changkyun offers, and you know, for someone who is pretty quiet most of the time, Changkyun sure wants to gab with Kihyun about his problems.
Kihyun says, “I don’t know,” but honestly, he doesn’t want to.
“That’s okay.” Changkyun’s tone lightens as he shifts the subject. “You guys are celebrating after the presentation though, right? Maybe then all of us can do something together. All of us, and Seulgi can come too, and Hoseok can probably bring Hyungwon—”
Kihyun is so busy thinking about how weird it is for Changkyun to be willing to hang out with Seulgi that it takes him a second to realize he doesn’t know that last person. “Who’s Hyungwon?”
Changkyun makes a face like Kihyun’s messing with him. “You know, Hyungwon. You met him.”
“No,” Kihyun says slowly. “I didn’t.”
“You must’ve. He was at the…” Something passes over Changkyun’s face.
“He was what?” Kihyun says. “Changkyun. Hey. He was what?”
Changkyun looks unsure of himself. “It’s nothing.”
“No, it’s not,” Kihyun insists. “Who is this guy?”
Changkyun knows he can’t escape, but he still takes a second before he speaks. “Hoseok’s boyfriend,” he says. “Or—they’re dating. Or something like that.”
Kihyun wants to say, that’s bullshit, I’d know if Hoseok was dating someone, but when Changkyun regretfully tacks on, “I’m sorry,” Kihyun realizes Changkyun’s telling the truth.
Something cold seeps into Kihyun’s veins. “Why wouldn’t he tell me?” he asks, but his voice is weak.
“Because…” Changkyun looks pained with holding back from saying something. “You…”
“I what?” Kihyun asks, feeling his breath quicken.
“You know,” Changkyun says quietly. He won’t quite look at Kihyun.
Kihyun feels frustrated and betrayed, but worse than that, he’s embarrassed. So when Changkyun begins, “Kihyun, you know that sometimes you”—Kihyun snaps a bit.
“This is not about me.”
“But it is,” Changkyun says, “that’s what I’m trying to say. If you would be honest with all of us, and maybe with yourself—”
“How can you—how can you say that?” Kihyun asks, and even though no one’s really said anything, Kihyun understands exactly what’s being implied. “Say something like that about me?”
Changkyun looks exhausted and distressed, and he loses some of his patience when he counters, “Everyone knows but no one’s willing to talk about it. If you’d just admit you’re—”
“Don’t,” Kihyun cuts him off. “Don’t.”
They sit in silence for a moment, before Changkyun breaks.
“Please,” Changkyun pleads, “I’m not trying to hurt you, Kihyun, but you need to understand that—”
“What I need,” Kihyun says, “is friends who don’t try to tell me I’m something I’m not.” He stands from the couch and grabs his bag from the floor. “Don’t fucking call me,” he says, and slams the door to Changkyun’s apartment shut behind him.
—
“I think we should head in there soon. Kihyun. Kihyun?”
Kihyun looks up from his phone, deciding once again to leave the most recent set of texts from Hoseok unanswered. Hoseok’s been texting with increasing confusion and concern over the past couple days as Kihyun has refused to respond, and today he’s wished Kihyun well on the presentation even though he’s realized that Kihyun’s upset about something. They’re a half hour out from presenting, though, and Kihyun just doesn’t even have the energy to deal with it right now. “What?”
“I said, let’s get to the room soon so we can cue everything up,” Hyunwoo says, arms already stacked with the folders they’ll distribute to the people attending. “You ready?”
“Yeah,” Kihyun says, but right as he goes to put his phone away it buzzes again.
It’s a text from Seulgi.
Good luck today! We’re still on to celebrate, right? Maybe we can talk after, too :)
Kihyun stares at the message.
“Hey,” Hyunwoo says. “You okay?”
Kihyun nods absently.
“You sure…?”
Kihyun wills his fingers to move, and types out, Thanks. Of course. I’ll see you then.
But as he hits send, he feels something terrible wash over him. Something cold and suffocating, sharp where it jabs into his skin, and,
Nope.
Nope, nope, nope.
Kihyun puts down his phone and leaves Hyunwoo’s office, heading for the supply closet across the hall, and he walks right into it and pulls the door closed behind him.
A second later, he hears the door open and feels someone else enter. The lights flip on. “Kihyun?”
“Leave me alone,” Kihyun moans. “I need a moment.”
“A moment to…hide in this closet?” Hyunwoo asks. “You got stuff in here to knock over or something?”
Kihyun shakes his head. “No. Shit. Fuck.” He tries to take a deep breath, but fails.
“Whoa,” Hyunwoo says, tone turning serious. “Are you okay?”
“Oh god,” Kihyun rushes out. “This is a mess. Everything is a mess.” He grasps at a shelf beside him.
“Hey,” Hyunwoo cuts in.
“Don’t,” Kihyun warns, laboring to steady himself. “Don’t start with me now.”
Hyunwoo disobeys. He takes a step closer. “Hey,” he repeats. “You don’t need to freak out. It’s gonna be okay.”
“No it’s not,” Kihyun argues, heart hammering in his chest, but Hyunwoo keeps getting closer. He’s so tall and broad, and Kihyun feels like he’s blocking everything else in the room from Kihyun’s sight. He crowds up to Kihyun and reaches for Kihyun’s hands, but he hesitates before taking them.
Eyeing Kihyun carefully, he says, “Let me help. Before you have pass out, or have a heart attack in here, or something.”
God, Kihyun really, really doesn’t want to he helped by Hyunwoo—even worse, he doesn’t want to be touched by Hyunwoo—but his heart is galloping so quickly that he’s starting to worry that he might actually have a heart attack, and so he jerks his head in a nod.
Hyunwoo takes Kihyun’s hands in his own giant paws, and his hands are warm, his fingers wrapping around Kihyun’s much more gently than Kihyun might have expected.
“Breathe in,” Hyunwoo commands, and when Kihyun gives him a really, motherfucker? look, Hyunwoo says, “just do it,” and Kihyun pushes past his irritation and breathes in, focusing on how Hyunwoo’s hands are holding his, and Hyunwoo says, “and out,” and Kihyun breathes out, and tries to set his heartbeat at a slower rhythm, and in again, and he focuses on their linked hands, and out again, and he tries to slow down his heart, and in and out a few more times, until finally he feels, mercifully, his pulse calming.
“Okay, okay,” Kihyun says, with some relief, “I think I’m good. I’m good.”
“Yeah?” Hyunwoo asks, peering at him.
“Yeah.”
“Good. Now insult me.”
At Kihyun’s surprised expression, Hyunwoo adds, “come on, be your regular self. Say something shitty.”
“How dare you,” Kihyun criticizes immediately. “I only say shitty things because you deserve them—“
“Oh, you are a whiner and you know it,” cuts in Hyunwoo.
“How do you expect me to deal with you when you’re so—“
“And whining in front of your boss, no less—”
“There it is! If you would let me finish a sentence, then we wouldn’t have this problem to begin with. And!” Kihyun points at the other. “That shirt barely fits you.” It’s true, the button down is way too tight at Hyunwoo’s shoulders and arms, like it’s two sizes too small. “It’s not workplace appropriate. You look like a stripper.”
Hyunwoo pauses.
“Feel better?” he asks.
Kihyun thinks. “Yeah. Uh, I do.”
“Good,” Hyunwoo says. “Alright, let’s get out of here.”
They’re still holding hands. Hyunwoo extricates their fingers quickly. Kihyun attends to his own dress shirt, smoothing it down, to avoid eye contact.
“Okay,” Hyunwoo repeats, and gives them another second before he opens the door.
—
The presentation goes fine.
Actually, that’s a lie. It goes great.
Somehow, despite Kihyun’s entire life being a disgusting, miserable mess, and Hyunwoo and Kihyun fighting each other up until the very last second, as soon as the presentation starts, something clicks. And then they flow, working together like they’ve been doing it all their lives—bouncing ideas off each other and switching off speaking roles with no problem, practically finishing each other’s sentences. The energy of it is wild, and each time Hyunwoo turns to look at him, Kihyun knows exactly what needs to happen next; and when Kihyun indicates his head, Hyunwoo knows to hand out the documents they’ve printed; and when it comes time for questions there’s no problem—for the first time that Kihyun can recall, they talk with each other, not over one another.
At the end, Hyunwoo’s boss looks happy, and the group has a lot of compliments and ideas for Hyunwoo and Kihyun. Kihyun accepts the feedback happily, feeling lighter than he has in a while.
“Not bad,” Hyunwoo says to Kihyun quietly, after Hyunwoo’s promised his boss to follow up next week and all of their guests have filed out of the room.
Kihyun checks his phone. “Holy shit. They were here for so long.”
“They had lots of questions,” Hyunwoo says, and his smile is genuinely, unguardedly warm. It’s disarming. “Because they liked what we had to say.”
Kihyun feels frozen under Hyunwoo’s gaze. But soon someone comes to fetch Hyunwoo, saying he’s got a phone call, and Hyunwoo departs. “I’ll see you later,” he says, cuffing Kihyun’s arm quickly as he heads out.
Kihyun breaths a sigh of relief. And he thinks—maybe, now, things will be fine.
Maybe now he’s out of the woods.
—
And then he has dinner with Seulgi.
By the time they see each other, Kihyun’s feeling good enough from the presentation that he feels like he can handle it. The restaurant’s nice, and Kihyun’s happy to be there. Seulgi looks beautiful, as always. It’s been a good day, and this is the right way to end it, the two of them celebrating.
But from the start, something is oddly stilted. It’s so distracting that Kihyun can’t even pay attention to their meal, up until the very end when he figures it out.
“Kihyun,” she says, as he concludes the story of the presentation, and her tone is more serious than usual. “I’m really, really proud of you.”
Kihyun swallows.
Seulgi reaches out and takes his hand. She looks so hopeful. “And how well you’re doing—I think this could mean a lot. For us.”
She smiles. Kihyun tries to smile back.
But all Kihyun can think of—all he can feel—are Hyunwoo’s hands on his, earlier that day. Calming him. Holding him still.
There’s a sinking feeling in Kihyun’s chest, and it spreads through him until his entire body feels cold.
“Seulgi,” he says.
She unlaces their fingers and ignores him, turning back to her food. “So I think it’s time for us to talk about—”
“Seulgi.”
She looks at him brightly, but when she sees his face her expression drops into something devastating, and Kihyun watches her last, smallest bit of hope fall away.
Kihyun hates himself as he tells her, “We need to talk.”
—
When Kihyun leaves the restaurant, he knows he won’t be able to sleep if he goes straight home, and he won’t be able to relax by reading or watching something. So he decides to head back to work. It’s night, but doing work will keep his mind occupied, at least for a little while, and it’s dark out now, so no one will be in the building to bother him. Good.
He gets onto his floor, though, and there’s someone there. Down the hall from Kihyun, the light in Hyunwoo’s office is on.
Of course. Kihyun tries to avoid being seen, but Hyunwoo must catch sight because he calls, “Kihyun?”
Feeling numb, Kihyun trudges over to Hyunwoo’s office. Hyunwoo’s in there without a tie and, as always, his feet propped up on his desk.
“I thought that was you,” Hyunwoo greets. “Shouldn’t you be out celebrating?”
Normally, Kihyun would snap back, then why are you here? but right now he doesn’t have the energy, so. “Yep,” he says.
Hyunwoo pauses. “You okay?”
Kihyun tries to keep the wobble out of his voice. God, how embarrassing. “Fine.”
Hyunwoo’s brow furrows. “You sure?”
“Yes,” Kihyun says emphatically. He inhales. He hears himself add, “Seulgi and I are done. Uh, for good.”
“Oh,” says Hyunwoo.
Kihyun wipes at his nose.
“Um, alright,” Hyunwoo adds, apparently at a loss. Kihyun belatedly realizes that this is the first time Hyunwoo’s heard Seulgi’s name, but it’s pretty obvious who Kihyun’s talking about.
“Yeah.” Kihyun gestures in the direction of his office. “So. I’m gonna…go.”
“Okay,” says Hyunwoo, and Kihyun heads down the hall.
When Kihyun’s almost reached his office, though, he hears Hyunwoo call after him, “I’m sorry.”
Kihyun flinches.
But he decides to ignore it.
So he just heads into his office, unlocking and entering it and setting down his bag, and moving some things around so he can use his keyboard, and sitting down and turning on his computer, but he’s in his chair for maybe five seconds before he feels an anger unlike anything he’s ever felt before in his life, so intense and all-consuming that he finds himself standing up and striding back down the hallway and straight into Hyunwoo’s office and shouting, “You’re sorry?”
Hyunwoo, with his feet still on his desk, doesn’t even move—he just looks at Kihyun with both eyebrows raised. “Excuse me?”
“You’re sorry,” Kihyun repeats, livid. “That’s the biggest pile of shit I’ve ever heard in my life.”
Slowly, Hyunwoo asks, “Is this about your girlfriend?”
Kihyun grits out, “She’s not my girlfriend anymore.”
Hyunwoo shrugs. He shrugs. “What do you want me to say?”
“Fuck you,” spits Kihyun.
Hyunwoo flinches, but immediately locks his expression back down.
“Calm down,” he orders.
“Don’t you fucking dismiss me.” When Hyunwoo doesn’t respond, Kihyun says, “pay attention to me,” and smacks Hyunwoo’s feet off his desk.
That gets a reaction. As soon as Hyunwoo’s feet hit the floor, he stands up and closes in on Kihyun. And he’s as tall and broad and imposing as always, but it doesn’t scare Kihyun right now, because right now Kihyun just doesn’t give a shit.
“You need to leave my office,” Hyunwoo says.
Kihyun ignores him. “This is all your fault,” he hisses.
Incredulous, Hyunwoo asks, “It’s my fault you broke up with your girlfriend?”
Kihyun’s voice breaks as he says, “You fucked up my entire life.”
“I did?” Hyunwoo says. He pauses, then huffs a mean laugh. “You mean, because I showed up and made you realize you want to be fucked by a man?”
Kihyun slaps Hyunwoo.
Kihyun’s hand leaves Hyunwoo’s cheek, and for a moment Hyunwoo’s face is caught in profile, the arc of his cheekbone glinting in the fluorescent light of the office, and then he turns back to Kihyun and surges forward and kisses him.
There’s a second where Kihyun is so surprised that all he feels is the hot shock of the moment, of Hyunwoo’s mouth on his—before he wrenches himself away and pushes at Hyunwoo’s chest, shoving him back, and slaps him again.
Hyunwoo barely reacts, staring down at Kihyun with dark eyes and full lips hanging open as he pants, and Kihyun feels like he’s going to explode, like his chest is trying to contain some sort of combustion that’s going to burn him up from the inside out.
“Fuck,” Kihyun moans miserably, and he kisses Hyunwoo.
The feeling of it is like plunging into something—something warm and familiar and soft and enveloping—and it’s so right, so fitting, that Kihyun moans with relief, and Hyunwoo wraps Kihyun up in his arms and picks him up to press them closer, so that Kihyun’s feet actually lift up off the floor.
Hyunwoo pulls away and his breath fans across Kihyun’s bruised lips, and he says, “I’m not sorry, not at all,” and he kisses Kihyun again, so hard that Kihyun almost feels light-headed, drunk on something ecstatic but singularly painful.
Hyunwoo picks Kihyun up fully and deposits him on the desk, so he’s sat right on the edge, and without knowing why he does it, Kihyun automatically parts his legs—but he understands when Hyunwoo steps forward so that his hips are cradled between Kihyun’s and their hips meet. An electric shock flashes through Kihyun, and he has the tremendous realization that they’re both partly hard, and Kihyun fists his hands in Hyunwoo’s shirt. Hyunwoo teases Kihyun’s tongue into his mouth and sucks on it, and when he grinds his crotch against Kihyun’s, Kihyun has to pull his mouth away to gasp for air.
Hyunwoo takes the opportunity to suck a vicious bruise onto Kihyun’s neck, and Kihyun can’t stop himself from crying out.
“God,” Hyunwoo growls into Kihyun’s ear, “I want to fuck you so bad.”
Kihyun’s pulse jumps, his fingers twisting tighter in Hyunwoo’s shirt. He doesn’t know what it means for Hyunwoo to fuck him—he’s made sure his entire life that he didn’t know exactly, entirely what two men do together—but all he knows now is that whatever it is Hyunwoo’s going to do to him, he wants it, badly.
Hyunwoo reaches around Kihyun to shove a bunch of stuff off his desk, and presses Kihyun to lie back against the cleared surface. Hyunwoo pulls away and starts to undo his button-down, yanking the shirt over his broad shoulders, and Kihyun keeps a hold on some part of Hyunwoo the whole time, hands tangled in clothes and then fingers on skin, like he’s holding on for dear life. Hyunwoo pulls off his undershirt too and Kihyun bites into his bottom lip and run his hands over the planes of Hyunwoo’s muscled chest, wanting more, closer, closer.
Hyunwoo leans forward to undress Kihyun too, but he pauses first and looks to Kihyun. Kihyun nods, a little frantically, and off comes Kihyun’s tie, and his shirt, and Kihyun rushes Hyunwoo’s hands to get his undershirt and pants off too. Once Kihyun’s bare Hyunwoo steps out of the rest of his own clothing, and for a second Kihyun is mortified by his own nudity, so obviously flushed and aroused for Hyunwoo to see, but then Hyunwoo bends back down and lowers himself onto Kihyun and their hips meet and—
—this must be what Kihyun was waiting for, what they were racing towards together, this feeling, this sizzling, exquisite spark flooding Kihyun’s whole body. Hyunwoo presses down hard and slides his arms under Kihyun’s back to hold on, and begins to thrusts up against Kihyun, and Kihyun wants to be embarrassed for moaning so loudly and uncontrollably but he can’t, he can’t stop himself, it feels so good.
Hyunwoo’s weight bears down on Kihyun deliciously, and Kihyun locks his legs around Hyunwoo’s waist and rocks in time with each thrust. “Oh god,” Kihyun babbles, “oh god. Shit.” He didn’t even know they could do this, or that he could be in contact with another person like this, that he could feel like this. They’re sweat-slick and hot where they touch, and Kihyun’s quick inhales match Hyunwoo’s low, desperate sounds.
“Fuck, you’re so,” Hyunwoo gasps into Kihyun’s ear, and he moves a hand up to press his thumb against Kihyun’s lips, to just press gently there, and Kihyun begs, “harder.” And when Hyunwoo obeys, Kihyun realizes that Hyunwoo was right all along. Everyone was right all along, about Kihyun. He’s exactly who they all thought he was.
The shame wells up inside him, competing with the pleasure he’s feeling, until it breaks out of him and Kihyun finds himself shaking, real cries punctuating his gasps. He can’t even pretend to cover it up, and Hyunwoo notices, of course, and moves his hands up to cradle Kihyun’s face, and he murmurs “shh, shh,” and kisses Kihyun so tenderly that it aches, that Kihyun fucking hates it because he doesn’t want that, doesn’t deserve it.
Hyunwoo moves carefully, splaying a gentle hand on Kihyun’s face. “Feels good?” he whispers, and Kihyun nods, biting back more tears. “Is it okay?” he adds breathlessly, and Kihyun understands he's asking if they should continue, and Kihyun nods again. More tears slip from his eyes, streaking down to his temples, as Hyunwoo presses him into the desk again and again.
Kihyun’s sounds turn sharp when Hyunwoo holds him tighter, and moves harder against him, until it’s too much, until the sensations strain at Kihyun and overtake him—until he feels like he might die—and he comes with more force than he thinks he ever has in his life, surprising himself by releasing onto his own stomach and cursing through it.
Hyunwoo comes a minute after, kissing Kihyun and gasping against his mouth, pulsing onto Kihyun’s stomach as well, but he doesn’t even take a second to catch his breath before he’s cradling Kihyun’s face in his hands, the anguish welling up in Kihyun once more as he breaks into full-blown sobs.
Hyunwoo soothes him again, thumbing the tears away, even though there’s too many for him to catch. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” Hyunwoo says, kissing under Kihyun’s eyes, and he stays and holds Kihyun until his cries calm.
—
They separate, and Hyunwoo helps Kihyun get up off the desk and stand, then hands over some kind of tissue he pulls out of his desk so they can each clean themselves. Hyunwoo even angles a tissue at Kihyun’s face to wipe at his leftover tears.
They retrieve their clothes from the floor and dress themselves back up, but when he’s in all but his button-down, Hyunwoo stands there and watches Kihyun finish with shaky hands.
“Are you okay,” Hyunwoo asks.
Kihyun answers honestly, “I don’t know.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Again, Kihyun answers, “I don’t know.”
Hyunwoo leans down and picks something up, and offers it to Kihyun. Kihyun’s tie.
“Maybe you can let me know,” he says, as Kihyun takes it. “How you’re doing, after…when you’re ready.”
Kihyun grabs his shoes off the floor. He’s not upset with Hyunwoo, he just—he wants to be out of here. Needs to be out of this place. “Sure,” he says. “I gotta go.” And he leaves.