combat_jorts
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Spamton scooped up the power cable, puffing out a breath and rolling his shoulders as he eyed the outlet on the wall. The moment of truth. In one swift motion, he knelt and pushed the plug into the outlet, turning and feeling along the casing beneath the screen for the power button. A springy click… and then his ears filled with the familiar high-pitched electric whine of a working CRT.
Oh, yeah. That’s the ticket.
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A dead man walking, Spamton brings home an old TV and turns his world on its head.
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“I know it’s scary—“
Spamton barked out a humorless guffaw, a shudder wracking his body. “You aren’t the one with a [Easter surprise] up your [#%$@], T- [Tens across the ]— [tenner]— [10/10]!” Tenna’s name seemed to get caught in his throat, his voice rattling off similar phrases until he clamped his mouth shut and tugged at his own hair, though his fiery gaze was still locked on the CRTV.
Or
Tenna’s presence kick’s Spamton’s body into overdrive. Pipis ensues.
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It wasn’t that Spamton was delicate— he wasn’t. He was anything but. Rough and tumble, eager to spat; he got in more trouble than a censor on a Saturday night and had a missing tooth to prove it (though he absolutely hated it being pointed out). It was just… He was code and pixels and mumbo-jumbo Tenna didn’t care to understand while Tenna himself was sturdy, thick plastic and glass and silicone and copper wiring. He could be repaired, but how in the world do you fix broken code? It was so far out of Tenna’s wheelhouse it was a home run clear out of the park. ‘I don’t want to break him’, Tenna thought desperately, though it still made his stomach flip to think about.
or; spamton wants tenna to relax and gets far more than he bargained for
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“Can’t sleep, my dear?”
Gale barely startles at his beloved’s smooth tenor. Cool breath ghosts the shell of his ear like the night breeze.
“It’s a beautiful night,” Gale murmurs in lieu of an answer— or perhaps it *is* his answer. What roused him from sleep and drew him to the balcony is long gone from his mind, replaced only with air perfumed by the sea and the inky sky before him.
———
A sleepless night in Waterdeep leads to contemplation.
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The wizard’s pretty brown eyes went heavy-lidded, one finger disappearing between his lips as he sucked a stray splatter of chocolate ganache from the digit. He must be making a cake. What a coincidence.
Astarion’s smirk turned salacious.
~~~~
Gale chefs up a big dinner and Astarion encourages him to eat his fill.
Recent series
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the man who was loved by combat_jorts
Fandom Fire Emblem, Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
26 Apr 2019
- Words:
- 56,562
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- 2
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- 2
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Sighing, Tenna cups the bottom of his plush stomach, feeling the way it bows out into his hand. He feels so… old. It doesn't help that he still has those photos from the early days in his career pinned up and down his mirror, taunting him with the reminder that he's going out of fashion and getting out of shape. What's even worse is he's due out for dinner in thirty, and he’s forced to wear his trousers low under the curve of what can only be described as a belly, because they won't button any other way. It frames the whole – situation – in an unforgiving way, creating a noticeable pooch that hangs just slightly over his waistband. Then, there's the issue of how they dig into his hips, causing them to spill over just slightly. If he’s not careful, he’s going to have to start describing them as love handles. Love handles! What sort of performer has them? None! Not a single one, the last time he checked. And he checks a lot. Turning on his heel, he walks over to his couch and sits down, pointedly ignoring the way his pants feel even tighter. They bunch at his crotch awkwardly, the fabric around his thighs stretched tight, and he finds himself trying to adjust himself to no avail.
How did he let it get this bad? Again?
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- English
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- 11,873
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by combat_jorts
30 Sep 2025
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It's all hands on waists, moaning into each other's mouths and – God, how does Tenna keep finding himself back here? What they have has grown beyond loathing, it's turned into some sort of obsession. Tingles bounce around his face, and he knows Spamton must feel the static building between them, zaps shooting whenever their lips meet. Everything keeps getting worse; Tenna doesn't know how to stop it. This. Them. Doesn't know how to stop himself being so unbearably jealous – of Spamton and of everyone Spamton charms. It’s as if every piece of feeling he has about the man has spun wildly out of control. So out of control that there’s no telling where the resentment ends, and where the –
He can’t finish that thought.
Series
- Part 3 of tabloid's wet dream
Bookmarked by combat_jorts
22 Jul 2025
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Spamton’s always like that- a tornado blowing through Tenna’s life.
(Spamton and Tenna hook up in Tenna's dressing room after hours.)Bookmarked by combat_jorts
12 Jul 2025
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The Last Will and Testament of Cazador Szarr by AbigailMoment
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
16 Feb 2026
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"First," said Gale. "Do not kill any thinking creatures in Waterdeep unless you must to protect yourself or you have my express permission."
As Gale spoke, he could feel the weight of his words sinking into the person sitting across from him. It was like casting a spell, but took no effort. Astarion had been staring hollowly into his goblet of blood, but at this he made a faintly interested noise. As if the rule were novel and he was considering the shape of it.
"Second, you will obey me in all things," said Gale. There didn't feel like there was any honest way of softening that. Astarion didn't make any sound at all.
"Third, do not leave the tower without permission." Astarion made another speculative noise, considering this one too. But then his shoulders hunched and his eyes skittered down, as if he didn't want to look at what was about to happen.
"Fourth," Gale said, and paused. He started with some context: "There is a tressym upstairs."
Astarion's head twitched. He looked up at Gale, blinking, startled. He had the air of someone who had been bracing for a blow and instead had just been handed a balloon animal.
"A what?" he asked.
Series
- Part 1 of Will & Testament
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- 61/61
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Bookmarked by combat_jorts
23 Aug 2024
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"I can smell your arousal. Had you been part of our Grove we would have taken delight in your body long ago. But sometimes the Oak Father's will is not for us to understand.”
Astarion is only 39 when he’s assigned to welcome a druid party into Baldur’s Gate. Halsin has a reputation in the city and is all too willing to show the young elf what the touch of another man can do.
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Bookmarked by combat_jorts
04 Jan 2024