Chapter Text
Things got tricky. Not directly out of hand, but a lot more difficult after the incident in room 12.
Trinity thought she can move past it, forget it, even. But she couldn't get over the way Dr. Al-Hashimi said her name.
She couldn't bare to get over it, because it kept happening over and over again. The way Baran called her name out, not the sex. She knew it cannot happen again and she was strictly holding herself to it, despite feeling the primal need to submit to Baran. She was proud that much to keep her chin high and say no to her own lustful and wicked thoughts about her attending.
On the other hand, she couldn't imagine what Dr. Al-Hashimi might have been going through. Trinity picked up on a new, completely different behaviour from the alpha that she hasn't seen before. She was hesitant.
It happened not only in the trauma rooms, but whenever their paths crossed in the breakroom, or anywhere around the hospital.
She was starting to think she was imagining things until Javadi pointed it out to her, about a week after the incident.
"She's different."
Trinity was holding a cup of coffee that she got from the vending machine two hours prior that, eyes lifelessly blinking to stare into Javadi's soul.
"Who is?" She shook her head, taking a small sip, hoping the caffaine will make her body seem less like she's a walking dead.
Javadi huffed softly, hands gesturing over Trinity's shoulder and she really didn't want to turn around to see who Javadi was pointing at, but she did anyway and immediately caught a glimpse of Dr. Al-Hashimi's little smirk, talking to the charge nurse.
"Something happened," Javadi smirked like she knew something's up but Trinity knew she was just bluffing.
Trinity pushed herself off the wall, throwing the empty cup into a bin.
"You're imagining things, Crash."
"Uh-huuuh," Javadi hummed, lips curling into a grin.
But as Trinity turned around and left the breakroom, eyes accidentally meeting Baran's quickly flickering gaze, her breath caught in her throat. Baran looked away.
Something tightened in Trinity's chest. She couldn't exactly name it, but she knew it felt like a thousand pounds sitting on her chest, keeping her down, keeping her from breathing. She hated it, she absolutely hated it and wanted Baran to look back at her and maybe flash her a little smirk like she always does but Baran just walked off without ever looking back at her.
She scoffed that one time, anger spiking thorugh her body.
She really wished it didn't rampage thorugh her the way it did, but being denied felt more humiliating than being called out on anything she's ever done wrong.
The worst thing was that others noticed it as well. Not only her own behaviour shifting into something edgier, like a slowly ticking bomb just waiting to implode, but they couldn't ignore the fact that Baran seemed to avoid Trinity.
Whitaker pointed it out one night when he wasn't at Amy's place, munching on chinese fried vegetables pasta that they grabbed on the way home.
"Did you do something to offend the new attending?" Dennis thwirled some pasta aorund his chopsticks.
She scoffed, slumped back against the couch. "No? Why would you even assume I did something wrong? Maybe it was Baran who—"
"Oooh, hold on, Baran? Since when are you two on first name basis?" He chuckled, only to freeze with his mouth snapping closed after meeting Trinity's cold eyes. "Sorry, it's none of my business."
"Yeah," Trinity mocked him, eyes wide as she nodded her head.
She came to realize that she cannot keep saying Baran's name out loud just like that without expecting others to react normally. Baran was her attending after all, she can't just say her name because they fucked once. Kind of.
But she also couldn't stop not saying it. Late at nights, touching herself to the faint memories of jerking Baran off, whimpering Baran's name as another wave of pleasure washes over her, around the fourth time that particular night, knowing that it'll never feel the same again, it'll never be as good as Baran's three fingers stretching her nicely open.
The yearning settled deep in her bones, searing through her body along every shift she shared with the alpha, longing to be seen by her again, to recognize those soft dark eyes looking at her longer than the others.
She yearned to feel it again, and she hated that she wanted it more than anything in the entire fucking world. It was a curse and she was completely compromised by it.
Yearning or not, Baran was still avoiding her like plague and she was growing tired of it. Especially on a busy day, where they all depend on each other, she can't have her attending call for Langdon's name instead of hers when she's perfectly capable of doing the job of shocking a heart.
After the rush hour died down and she had a moment to catch her breath in the breakroom, she quickly realized she wasn't alone when the door opened and closed with a soft click, Baran's scent immediately attacking her nostrils, never pleading for permission to sneak along an intake of breath.
"You're avoiding me." She states, not turning around yet. Hands braced on the counter, she hears Baran walking closer to her. Immediately her posture changes, body tensing.
"Why would I avoid you, Dr. Santos?"
Trinity can hear the smirk in Baran's voice. Her jaw clenches as she catches Baran looking her up and down with that amused look in her eyes that she's been holding back for the past week.
"We both know why. What we did, what we never should've done," she breathes out, voice breaking softly and she winces, hating the way she can't control her own goddamn voice in the presence of Baran.
Baran's scent changes then. It becomes bitter.
"Is that so?" Baran takes a step back, nodding softly. "Then why is it a problem that I keep my distance from you?"
Trinity's head snaps at her attending, eyes sharp. "Because you're making me lose my fucking—"
"Oh."
They both snap their heads at the door that opens and Javadi steps in without realizing what she stepped into.
Baran's face immediately shifts into a small, reassuring smile, the heat fading from her eyes. "Dr. Javadi, did you need something?" She tilts her head and Trinity shudders.
Javadi's mouth opens, eyes wider than ever as she looks back and forth between the two of them, noticing the tension that flickers in the air.
"Actually— yes. Dr. Santos, would you come with me—"
"Yes. Yes," Trinity sighs, pushing herself off the counter, trying to be out the breakroom as quickly as possible.
Once the door clicks shut behind them, Javadi glances at her from her peripheral vision and all Trinity does is shaking her head once. Javadi pouts and sighs.
"I didn't really need you for anything, you know, I just saw something was happening between you and—"
Trinity gives her a forced smile. "Yeah, thanks, Crash. You're a lifesaver." Her voice pitches sarcastically.
Princess walks up to her with a folder in her hand, "Dr. Santos, CT results came back for your patient—"
"Ah, thank you, Princess." She takes the folder, eyes flickering fast over the words printed out in black and white, unable to find focus after the talk with Baran.
Just as she sees movement in her peripheral vision, she catches Baran walking out of the breakroom with distress on her face and god, Trinity almost hates herself for snapping at the alpha the way she did. Maybe she was a bit harsh on her attending.
"Incoming!" Someone yells, and the folder in her hand is long forgotten when she catches Baran rushing up to the ambulance bay, so she follows along with fast steps.
"Heart stopped three blocks away," the paramedic informs them with a short breath and Trinity's eyes expand as she watches Baran take over the scene like she owns everything there, even the air they're breathing in.
She's just way too fucking hot.
Once inside Trauma 1, Trinity blinks only twice before she's having her hand massaging a heart while Baran assisting her what to do next.
Her breath catches, eyes blurry with the haze of people moving in a rush around them, and yet she only feels herself and Baran existing in the same slow time. That's when she feels a reassuring hand on her lower back.
"Exactly like that, keep massaging it, rhythmically." Baran whispers into her ear and she feels a shudder go through her like she just touched an outlet with her index finger.
A gasp tears up from her throat, unable to hold it back. The scent Baran lets out corrupts her every thought.
And just like that, everyone in the room seems to go frozen.
Her jaw clenches hard enough for her to hear the bones crack in her ear, head turning half, catching the small smirk playing on Baran's lips.
Without realizing how fast time moves, another week passes and Baran seemingly starts to tease her a lot more. She touches her inappropriately, just like she did that time in Trauma 1. Trinity realized by that time, that Baran only touches her when someone could see what they're doing, denying her the pleasure of reacting anyhow she wants, biting every single small moan back to avoid the horror of meeting someone's recognizing eyes.
For some reason that she can't even explain to herself, she never stops Baran. It's almost like she wants Baran to keep touching her, to claim her, so everyone would know that Baran can in fact touch her whenever and however she wants.
But after another improper incident, Trinity's patience of never being able to openly react runs out.
When she finds a quick but peaceful moment, she grabs Baran by her forearm and drags her into an empty room, shoving the curtains away so nobody could see that they're inside the room.
"You can't keep doing this," she shakes her head once, arms crossing defensively.
Baran's smile turns a little confused, eyebrows pitching. "Doing what?"
She scoffs, head tipping to the side. "Touching me like that. You can't keep doing it, Baran."
Baran pauses for a moment, her scrutinizing, dark eyes start to narrow on Trinity's face.
"Oh? I wasn't aware it was so important to you that you started calling me by my name. I see," she nods, taking a step back.
"It is fucking important, don't you see it? You're my attending!"
"I am aware of that now, thank you for reminding me, Dr. Santos. I can assure you, it won't happen again if it makes you uncomfortable." Trinity feels her whole body freezing. On her way out, Baran stops by her and leans close to her ear. "Not that you ever seemed to be uncomfortable before. Certainly not in room 12." She smirks.
She's out the door before Trinity can let out the air stuck in her lungs.
To Trinity's biggest surprise, that's all it takes for the constant touching and teasing to stop. The following days pass with Trinity somehow missing the warmth of Baran's hand on her lower back, the way she felt heat sparkling down her spine.
The praises stop, too. Trinity hates that. That was the least annoying thing about Baran's smug behavior that bugged her, and now it stopped too.
It made her realize that the way Baran started melting back into the dynamic they had in the very beginning reminded her of the alpha leaving the Pitt very soon.
It scares her, not only the fact that Baran will no longer be there to make her feel the ick, but the horror of having Robby replacing her. She simply can't have that happening.
It will all be entirely gone, the praises, the touching, the heated looks shared over a patient, the scent lingering everywhere around the pit, her voice—
Baran will leave. She will, and Trinity will be alone again.
The conclusion of needing to do something drastic about it comes after a long morning shift, and she's desperately trying to find Baran before she leaves for the night.
She catches Lupe, briefly asking her whether she saw Baran anywhere, only to get a small shake of head in response.
"Sorry, darling."
Trinity pouts, nodding. "Thanks, Lupe."
But that doesn't scare her off, the adrenaline keeps rushing through her as she leaves through the ambulance bay instead and looks around, eyes eagerly flickering to catch that bundle of head she needs to see.
"Oh, you're still here." Baran appears by her left, just walking out of the building and Trinity feels a hiccup tearing up from her throat in relief, nodding furiously.
"I need to speak with you," she mumbles out, eyes roaming the woman's body.
She's wearing a tank top, black, her trousers make her hips look even more snatched and Trinity can barely breathe.
Her dark eyes catch the faint fluorescent light sweeping through the door and Trinity can't even bring herself to look away, shamelessly staring right into her soul, hoping to see something beneath the slow eyes blinking at her.
And yes, she sees it, the small flicker of amusement, almost instantly sitting deep into those dark irises. With a twitch of her lips, a small smirk like usual, Baran tilts her head back, waiting patiently for Trinity's response that comes rather delayed.
"Uhh," her hand finds the nape of her neck. Heat settles in her belly.
Baran starts to open her mouth before Trinity could find the train of thought she shamelessly lost by the presence of the alpha in front of her.
"Would you like me to drive you home?" Her voice pitches gently. No pressure behind her words. Nothing that indicates more.
"Yes, actually— I do want a ride."
Baran's brow twitches upward. "Hm." She nods once, her smile grows deliberate. "Follow me."
Trinity feels her chest tighten as she nods.
Baran's car smells incredible, traces of pine, a little bit of coconut, overall making Trinity unconsciously clench her thighs as she takes the front seat beside Baran and holds her gaze steady as Baran starts the car.
"Show me where you live." Trinity blurts out, surprising even herself.
Baran on the other hand only nods, hands firm on the wheel, turning with measured slowness. Time feels stretched as silence settles between them. The soft ticking of the car echoes after each turn, the scents lingering only make Trinity feel more dizzy as the haze of the world outside the car passes by them.
Trinity doesn't know how long it takes for them to arrive, she only snaps out of her own thoughts once Baran calls her name.
"We're here, come on," Baran offers her a small, enncouraging smile, hands gesturing for Trinity to follow her once again, and Trinity does without hesitation.
Seeing the alpha's home for the first time sends ripples of joy down her down, coiling at her abdomen and she doesn't quite understand the reasoning of her inner omega to react the way it does, but she also can't find a second to overanalyze herself as Baran shows her around the spacious apartment, pheromones thickening the closed area without shame.
It's everywhere. Baran's scent is everywhere and it's driving Trinity impossibly insane.
"I could make us some tea, if you want—" Baran offers with a kind, knowing and tired expression and Trinity truly thinks she can hold herself back before her whole body crashes into Baran's, mouths finding each other without needing a clear path.
Baran's moan escapes caught off-guard. Firm but soft hands find Trinity's forearms, trailing up as the kiss deepens.
"I need you to—" Trinity gasps into her mouth, her chest pressing against Baran's, feeling her nipples hardening under the light fabric. "To show me your room."
Baran doesn't hold back her chuckle against Trinity's lips.
"Confident girl," her head tips back a bit, eyes soft on Trinity and she almost can't even handle all that so suddenly, that gentle look on her attending's face, and just like that, she's fully reminded of why she wanted to speak to Baran and now she can't stop thinking about the fact that the alpha will leave and she can't let that happen and it all sits out on her face, the concern and— "Hey, what's wrong?"
Baran's hand comes under her chin, eyes growing concerned.
Trinity almost flinches away, the touch suddenly being too much and not enough at the same time. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong, I promise, just— please show me your room."
Baran swallows, it's audible and Trinity feels herself growing slicker at the squelch.
"If that's what you want," Baran whispers. Her mouth closes on Trinity's then, hands tenderly holding Trinity by her waist. "This way," she mumbles past her lips, like a breeze of love and Trinity whimpers, nodding breathlessly.
The heat of the moment swipes all coherent thoughts right out of her mind as she's led into the room. It smells even thicker, she almost chokes on it. Woody, heady scents all over and Trinity wants it all soaked into her skin.
Baran lingers beside her, seemingly unsure what to do next and this might be the first time Trinity experiences that look on the alpha's face, so she lets her instincts rule her actions and she holds her hand out towards Baran, gesturing for her to move closer.
"I like it, it's very you," Trinity whispers, feeling a smile spreading on her lips before she can stop it.
"You didn't really want to talk to me, did you?" Baran asks then, her eyes lapping Trinity's face. Not once she looks down, and perhaps it's better that way. If she did, she could see Trinity's whole body shaking.
Trinity exhales, biting her lower lip. Her hand tightens around Baran's and she yanks her closer, just enough to steal her breath. The edge of the bed presses into the back of her knees as she pulls Baran over her body, letting both of them fall along the cold sheets.
Baran carefully positions herself between Trinity's opening legs, a small, surprised smirk playing on her face. Eyes so wide, almost like this is the first time they're interacting this way. Well almost.
But then, a rush of boldness washes over Trinity, as she starts to push Baran onto her back and moves quickly to straddle her. Baran's eyes widen even more in complete awe, her mouth falling agape with a tiny exhale.
Baran's hands find a way to Trinity's thighs, carefully holding her. The evidence of Baran's arousal pokes Trinity's leg and she looks directly down at it, needing to bite down on her bottom lip to suppress a grin. She did that to Baran. She got her hard without doing anything.
"I want to ride you," Trinity breathes into Baran's mouth, breath hot on the older woman's mouth.
"Do you?" Baran hums, utterly amused. Her steady hands slide across Trinity's legs, finding the hem of her pants. "Let me take this off," she hooks a finger under it, tugging softly.
Trinity huffs, nodding eagerly. Heat already eats her alive from the inside out, the need to be filled by the alpha soaks her through her underwear.
She stands quickly and gets rid of her clothes without taking a look at Baran, knowing that the older woman does the same. The soft light cast on Baran's features steals a breath out of Trinity as she straddles her once again, now fully bare.
Skin to skin, she settles comfortably on Baran's lap, feeling her cock pressing eagerly into the soft flesh of her inner thigh. She wants to feel it inside, she wants to know the entire taste, she wants to wrap her hands around the length, she wants everything but she cannot have it all because—
"You're doing it again," Baran breathes at her neck, her clever hands sliding up Trinity's ribs, caressnig the curve of her breasts.
Trinity hums, "Doing what?"
"You look concerned. You eyebrows pinch."
Trinity can only shake her head once, hands trailing behind Baran's neck, grabbing a fistful of her long, unruly curls and a moan escapes Baran at the touch, caught off-guard again.
Eyes glistening, Trinity guides Baran's head to her breast, watching as the woman's mouth eagerly opens around her nipples, softly biting down on it.
"Fuckk," Trinity chokes out, head thrown back. She grinds herself down on Baran's thigh, slick coating Baran's skin.
Baran's tongue circles her nipple, she suckles gently, never pushing too hard and it's already making Trinity feel like something's tightening in her chest with a rapid force and she can't hold back the noises she makes as she sets a furious pace at grinding down, rocking harder and faster.
Her hand that's been fisting Baran's hair trails down between their bodies, palming Baran's breasts, shaking through each deep vibrating moan from the older woman.
She gushes a little, slick coating more of Baran's thighs, skin throbbing violently, letting her hand slide down on the tender flesh of Baran's flexing stomach, fingers nestling through the thick hairs over her cock. She confidently wraps her fingers around the length now, smiling at how it all feels so new yet so familiar at the same time.
Baran's voice breaks, a breathy moan tears up.
Trinity tightens her fist, remembering that one night.
"Oh— you remember—" Baran moans, head thudding hard against the headboards. "Good girl."
Trinity's pulse spikes at the praise. Instinctively, her thighs clench, keeping Baran locked between her legs. She jerks her hand faster, bathing in the soft noises Baran lets out in the heat of the moment.
Baran's body starts to jerk unevenly as she grabs Trinity's hand, eyes opening to stare right into Trinity's cloudy gaze. Without saying anything, Baran starts to lean over to the nighstand, and Trinity makes a frustrated noise that stops the alpha.
"I want to feel all of you, please." Lashes batting, eyes blinking innocently as Baran freezes with an arching eyebrow.
"Do you?" She smirks, frowning in awe.
Without agreeing to anything, Trinity guides Baran's length over to her folds, rubbing it along her clit, smearing the slick all over and Baran gasps, hips lifting into it.
Trinity's head tips back with shuddered moan, helping Baran to slip down to her entrance, holding it still as she enters her with a gentle thrust.
"God, so—" Trinity chokes, hiccuping a moan. "Big. Fuck, please—" she moves almost instantly, not letting Baran take the lead.
Baran's head slumps back again, eyes half-lidded as she watches Trinity ride her harder and lose herself in the sensation and the heat and the thick pheromones surrounding them.
Baran holds her, fingers digging into the soft flesh of her hips, tugging at her love handles, urging her to move, absently guiding her to take more of her and Trinity does, with a shuddered breath she settles fully down, taking all of Baran's length inside her velvety, throbbing walls.
"Fuck," Baran breathes throatily, eyes rolling back with a mix of pleasure and astonishment. Jaw slack, her breathing becomes ragged, her hips start to move up, meeting Trinity half-way, fucking up into her faster, hitting the most perfect spots inside Trinity's cunt that has Trinity choking on her sweet cries.
Trinity's body falls forward, her sensitive nipples brush against Baran's breasts, overstimulating her just enough to burst out crying, the tension throbbing from her cunt up to her throat, unable to stop herself anymore.
Baran freezes, eyes alert as Trinity furiously shakes her head and slams herself down faster, setting an even harder pace. Baran chokes out, mouth falling open against Trinity's jaw.
"What's wrong?" Baran whispers, one hand coming up to caress Trinity's cheek.
"Nothing, I swear—"
"You're crying, Trinity." She says with so much softness in her voice that it makes Trinity cry out even harder, hot tears streaming down her face.
That's when she crashes out. "You can't fucking leave—"
"What?" Baran gasps, eyes soft on Trinity's face, both hands cradling her face now yet she doesn't stop fucking up into her.
Trinity flinches away, hips rocking down harder ."You can't leave, please— don't leave me, don't leave me—"
"Sweetheart—"
"Please, please," Trinity cries out, body jerking unevenly as pleasure crashes over her.
"Oh my sweet," Baran wraps her arms around Trinity's body, slowing their movements, but Trinity wants to keep going, hot tears glistening on her red, flushed cheeks. "Don't cry, please don't cry."
"Don't leave me Baran," she mumbles, eyes clenching closed.
Baran nuzzles her jaw, whispering, "I'm not leaving," her words sounding sweeter than honey in the heat of the moment.
But Trinity knows she's lying. She will leave.
Pleasure sears through both of them, choking back soft moans as they reach their high shortly after one another, the gentleness of their movements stretching far longer than what Trinity ever experienced.
As Trinity moves off Baran and the older woman helps to clean her up with paper towels, Trinity lets out a small sigh and moves to reach for her clothes.
"Sleep here," Baran murmurs into the shell of her ear. "You don't need to go."
Trinity doesn't say much. She just rolls back on her back, skin still sweat-slick, sticking as she presses herself close to Baran's front. She doesn't say anything, because she knows she can't trust her own voice anymore.
She knows how this ends. She's seen it when they began.