Chapter Text
“So you slapped him and asked him to help you with finals and he said yes?”
Saki was chewing on a bun honami had given her, handing tsukasa one that had powder sugar sprinkled on the surface.
They sat cross legged on her bed, her blanket skewed across her lap as she lay her elbows on her knees.
Tsukasa glances away, his face burning up as he takes the peace offering.
“You don’t have to say it like that….”
She leans in.
“Damn, he must be down bad for you to let himself be treated like a dog.”
Tsukasa shrieks, stumbling backward and almost falling off the bed.
“Don’t say that!”
Saki shrugs, straightening her back.
“I’m just saying, no (straight) man would let their ego be bruised like that by another guy.”
Tsukasa grumbles.
“Since when were you so philosophical….”
She raises an eyebrow.
“It’s pretty obvious he likes you.”
He leans, his back landing on the foam of her bed mattress.
“You’re going tomorrow right?”
“Yeah”
“Did he say what time”
He pauses, making motions with his hands that had no correlation to words.
“Not… really?”
“So when are you going to go?”
“Uhm… probably around 3:00 or 4:00-“
“No, when are YOU going, not planner for everything hall moniter tsukasa tenma.”
“Fine! When do you think?”
Saki taps a finger to her chin.
“Go before lunch so you can eat together. That’s super romantic!”
Tsukasa lets out a screech that sounded like an eagle mating caw
“No way! That’s rude! That’s unethical! That’s-“
She places a hand to his mouth.
“What it is, is genius.”
He sighs.
The silence stretches between the two for a while.
“You can’t study on an empty stomach right..?”
She grins
“See? I knew you’d come around”
They spend the rest of that night (or until saki slept) picking what tsukasa would wear.
“Too flashy, too boring, too bright, too melancholic, too tsukasa, ugh i want to die, too-“
Tsukasa throws a shirt at her, it landing on her hand.
“Shut up! Im trying to pick something that isnt my uniform.”
Saki raises an eyebrow
“You sure?”
“Yes! I can at least TRY to be presentable!”
**
“I told you you’d pick your uniform”
Tsukasa fidgets with them hem, glaring at saki.
“Shut up.”
She shrugs pushing him out the door.
“Bye bye! Remember, you are an epitone of nonchalance. You have 6 or 7 girls lined up for you.”
Tsukasa felt a shiver at that last line.
“Never say that again.”
“Point is, time for you to go!”
“Wait what?!”
Just like that, he was pushed out of his own house
The snow had thawed slightly, more like white and grey slush that stuck to his shoes.
“It’s just lunch… it’s just tutoring… it’s just…”
He freezes.
“I don’t have notes.”
He thought about turning back, when he realized he was already at ruis door.
“Whatever saki-chan said… i’m an epitome of…. Something. Just knock on the door.”
Even so, his hand trembled a top the smooth wood.His hand shook slightly, he at times wondered if he should’ve come at all.
But against it all, he knocks, the sound of his knuckle was faint through his gloves. He immediately retracts as if it’d burned him.
“Hey! Maybe he won’t be here! It’s early! I think i’ll-“
“Ah, tsukasa-kun, you’re…. A bit early.”
Tsukasa goes pale.
“Ah! Rui-kun! Sorry! Saki-chan kicked me out of the house and—“
He raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. Nice going tsukasa.
“I didn’t say you couldn’t come early?”
Tsukasa gulps. Were rui’s eyes ever so…. Crisp? And were his hands so.. slim? Wait why was tsukasa even thinking about his hands. But what if….
Tsukasa pinches himself through the fabric of his mittens.
“Yeah, sorry.”
“Well come in, it’s cold.”
Tsukasa steps in, shaking the mush off his boots and slipping out of them.
The house smelled of metal bits and wood polish, halls lit by hues of yellow from the lamps, windows spilling light. Very warm, rui probably had lit the fire before tsukasa came. Strange, rui never lit the fire, everyone complained how cold it was. Yet , it was always warm when tsukasa came.
“I can give you a few of my notes in a small journal and we can look over them.”
“W…why would you give me notes?”
Rui looks him up and down.
“Tell me if i’ve gone blind or do you not have any notes.”
Tsukasa goes red, looking at the air in front of him like it owed him money.
“You….”
“Come on, I have a spare journal.”
They walk upstairs, wood sounding somehow soft, like it were melted by the warmth of the home inside.
Rui had an oddly small room, only fitting a bed, a desk full of random things and a few polaroids faced down, and a round table on the ground with books, papers, pencils, and many other things that looked illegal.
“Sit at the table, ill get my notes.”
Tsukasa nods stiffly, sitting and crossing his legs.
Rui settles next to him, opening his worn out notebook and a fresh new one.
“Ok, write everything you know.”
Tsukasa is ready to die.
“Define… everything”
“Come on, you know at least the basics.”
“Yeah…. The basics….”
**
Rui’s expression slowly deflates after every line he reads.
“How do you possibly know absolutely nothing.”
Tsukasa whinces.
“Hey, i know x and y”
Rui’s eye twitches.
“No. You said x and y were equations.”
“Are they not?”
“They’re variables.”
Tsukasa shudders. This was it, he was failing.
Rui sighs, flipping the book open and writing something down, handing it to tsukasa.
“Try to study this, its a cheat sheet.”
“Is… this all?”
“Is grass purple?”
Tsukasa felt stupid, but braved it over his pride.
“Just…. Help me.”
As rui wrote in the notebook, a chime buzzed against the wood. Rui’s phone.
Tsukasa reached for it, when rui suddenly slapped his hand away.
“Don’t…. Touch that.”
“Why?”
“Just don’t.”
Tsukasa didn’t argue, rui was the one saving him from summer school.
“Ok, i’m going to go downstairs and start on lunch.”
Tsukasa freezes, he’d forgotten that was the whole reason he came so early.
“Yeah! Totally! Awesome sauce!”
Awesome sauce? How suave.
Rui had to hold back from giggling, walking down the stairs until his movements were faint.
Then tsukasa notices. Rui, being so sharp, had forgotten his phone.
“No. He said not to look at it.”
Tsukasa glanced longingly.
“But for his safety… y’know? What if he’s in trouble?”
Tsukasa very slowly turns over the phone, half expecting it to explode.
“EH?!—“
Tsukasa covers his mouth to prevent from shaking the housei. No, rui wasn’t in trouble.
“His wallpaper is…..”
Tsukasa stared for a very very long time. Like he was trying to see if it was real.
There on the center of the screen, was a picture of the troupe. No not the troupe, the picture was cut to only rui and tsukasa.
“Of us…?”
He fwips the phone back over like he hadn’t just exploded.
“Okay! It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s whatever.”
“Tsukasa-kun? If you haven’t died yet, i finished making lunch.”
Why did it sound so… domestic…? Tsukasa was overthinking it.
“Yeah, alright!”
He holds the rail, careful not to trip on his own feet.
On the table? bowls of rice and broth, and a raw egg.
After they sat and prayed, they start to eat.
It was mostly silent besides chewing and occasionally sipping.
“Did you find everything you needed in my phone?”
Tsukasa dropped his chopsticks, clattering on the table.
“Eh?! I mean… yes? No? What do you-“
Rui raises a hand.
“You may have thought you were quiet, but you scream quite loud.”
Son of a—
“And anyways, i presume you saw my lock screen.”
Tsukasa averted eye contact.
“Well… yeah but…”
“It’s fine, i knew i shouldn’t have left you alone with it.”
“Hey!”
Rui shrugs. Cleaning both the bowls and dropping them both into the sink.
They made their way back upstairs, light now filtering orange and dim instead of bright like earlier.
“Huh… it’s a bit dark isn’t it?”
Rui nods.
“Yeah…”
Tsukasa glances and bows.
“Thanks a lot for tutoring me.”
Rui recoils slightly, probably not used to such a gesture of distance from his best friend.
“It’s fine. Really.”
They sit on the ground again, rui settling more noticeably closer to tsukasa.
“This is weird isn’t it…?”
Rui looks up.
“What? The fact that you’re stupid or that you ate lunch with me.”
Tsukasa pushes him.
“Haha. No.”
Rui looks at him
“Then what do you mean.”
Tsukasa feels like crying and ascending at the same time.
“It’s just… we haven’t talked for so long. Isn’t it… weird?”
Rui stares for a long time, tsukasa feels his cheeks starting to heat up. He’s about to brush it off when rui suddenly speaks.
“I don’t care if you being stupid is the reason we’ve started talking again. I’d spend my whole life tutoring you if it means you’ll come over and eat lunch with me.”
Tsukasa knew he was blushing, he could also tell by the way rui was looking at him.
“You….. you’re just being nice…”
Rui stays deadpan.
“Am i?”
“I… think you are?”
“Yesterday, when you said it’s not about nene-chan, it partially is, isn’t it?”
Tsukasa turns very slowly, like a rusty machine.
“What..?”
“I said, nene-chan is a part of this isn’t she?”
“You… i… thats not….”
“Tsukasa-kun.”
Tsukasa heard his heartbeat in his head, it felt like a bass drum pounding on the back of his head.
“Yes….?”
“I change my mind, I want you to pay me for this session.”
Tsukasa exhales, suddenly relaxing.
“Sure… how much do you want?”
“I don’t want money.”
Tsukasa tenses again.
“I want you to answer one question i ask, honestly. You have to answer.”
Tsukasa gulps.
“Fine.”
Rui turns, facing tsukasa directly.
“Do you like me? More than a friend.”
**
The room is still, only the sound of the clock above them ticking broke the silence.
Tsukasa was panicking, he could either lie and play it cool, or spill his heart out.
Rui just kept staring, clearly not going to back down.
They just sat in silence, every breath tsukasa took felt warm, like what he was about to say next would determine if he survived the night or not.
Finally?
“I….. love you, rui-kun.”
He did it.
Rui didn’t seem disgusted at all. Instead, he nods slightly. Tsukasa is ready to be rejected, he braces for the “i value our friendship”sentence starter.
“I’m sorry. This probably changes a lot between us, and i just…. I get you won’t say yes and all and it’s fine I….”
Rui leans in, bracing the back of tsukasa’s neck with his hand. Tsukasa’s eyes widen before closing. Rui closes the distance between them, tsukasa putting his arms around rui’s neck so he didn’t melt into a puddle of orange goop.
Tsukasa waited, however rui had not moved back. Slowly, tsukasa felt red creep up into his ears and cheeks. His grip in rui’s hair tightening out of desperation. He hadn’t realized until then that rui had both his arms around him like a cage.
Did this make them gay? Probably.
Tsukasa contemplates tapping out, his breath felt warmer now, breathing through his nose was the only way he could feel cool air.
Finally, rui moves back slightly, still close enough to whisper against tsukasa.
“Is that yes enough for you?”
Tsukasa scrambles for words, making incoherent sounds that were similar to a tea kettle.
“I… uhm…. You…. What are…..”
“What are we? Depends.”
Tsukasa is pushed against the back of rui’s bed, rui leaned close enough that even with a single movement their lips would touch. Rui’s eyes glistened, staring into tsukasa’s.
Tsukasa hadn’t noticed he’d been panting as if he’d run a mile until rui leaned in and kissed his cheek, his lips warm against tsukasas cheek.
“I know i said i can’t read minds, but the word you might be looking for is… boyfriend?”
Tsukasa stammers, slowly slumping down into the floor.
Instead, he nods. Violently, almost hitting rui.
“And…”
Rui glances down at tsukasa, damn it tsukasa stop looking at him.
“Sorry for… slapping you….”
Rui looks down, his shoulders jittering.
“Eh?! Hey! Don’t laugh!”
Tsukasa’s face was neon, basically screaming his words.
“I’m… i’m not laughing.”
He very much was.
Tsukasa shakes his shoulders, pride long dead.
“It’s alright, really.”
Tsukasa glances at the place behind rui.
Which is why he was shocked when rui leaned in again and kissed him.
When he pulled back, he was smiling. No, smirking. His lips persued in the shape of a cats.
“Stop…. Smiling like that…”
“Why? Afraid of something?”
“No! I’m…. Wait what?—“
Teeth. Tsukasa stop, they’re just teeth. They’re just teeth. They’re just teeth, they’re just teeth-
**
“I hate you so much.”
Rui hums in acknowledgment, very much not sorry.
“I love you too.”
Tsukasa is dabbing at his neck with stage makeup he’d found in rui’s drawer, blending like his life depended on it.
“Purple suits you yknow-“
“Shut up!”
Rui pretends to zip his lips.
“You know… you can stay the night if you want.”
Tsukasa yelps.
“What?! It… it’s a school night! I don’t have my uniform! My backpack! My sanity!”
Rui waits for tsukasa to finish screeching.
“I live closer to the school than you, you’re wearing your uniform right now, and you came with your noteless backpack.”
Damn it.
“… fine.”
Rui smiles
“Perfect.”
Perfect? For what?
“What do you mea-“
“Nothing ♪”
Tsukasa decides not to question it, taking random clothing from rui’s closet and tossing them on before sleeping. He didn’t know where rui would sleep nor did he care, but according to rui and himself now…?
This was perfect.
Ish….