Chapter Text
"I'll be right back. Don't be a crybaby."
Touya had rolled his eyes, bandage plastered carelessly under his eye hanging off precariously as he shoved a mess of hair out of his face.At this point his hair barely had a chunk of that fiery red he hated so much, too-long white locks flopping in his determined eyes. You remember the way he said your name, half annoyed half amused when you sniffled and begged him to stay. That he didn't need to train more.
All day you'd had a bad feeling in your gut, and you wanted your best friend close. But the moment you said that, something in his face hardened and you knew it was a mistake. He snorted and shoved you away lightly by your face, sneaking past you towards the door. "I always have to train. Future number one, remember?" He tossed behind him with a laugh, voiced laced with something too heavy for a thirteen year old to carry.
Your voice was rougher back then, perpetually raspy from yelling and laughing so much. "Touya. It's late, and your dad said-"
Mistake number two. Touya whirled around, jaw ticked angrily. "I don't care what he said. And I told you, he's not my dad anymore." He snapped, and you remember the pang of regret you saw flash in his eyes before he turned around, back towards the window of his room. The moon was bright that night, reflecting against his bright, clear blue eyes.
"At least let me come with you." You tried, getting angry with him now. Why did he always have to be so goddamn stubborn about everything??? His dad told him not to train anymore. For him to say that meant he really could get hurt.
But nothing you could say would change Touya's mind. "You have to watch precious Shoto. If he cries and wakes mum up and they find me gone I'm screwed." Even while he whispered, he kept tossing nervous glances towards his bedroom door, as if the toddler would start wailing from his nursery any moment. Twitchy even on the best of days, Touya shifted his weight with a sigh before stepping back towards you.
Warm, familiar arms squeezed you tightly to a soft chest, your cheek smushed against his neck. Touya had just hit a growth spurt; you were no longer taller than him and he teased you mercilessly for that whenever he could.
"I'll be fine. Just go to sleep and I'll be back when you wake up." His words were muffled against your hair, breath hot and making you shiver. A small part of you acknowledged how silly you're probably being, but the paranoid feeling didn't ease up even with the thought. Your arms wrapped gently around Touya, mindful of the bandages you carefully wrapped only hours earlier. You took a deep breath of his shirt, mind finally settling happily.
Burying your head further, you felt Touya's chest shake in a silent laugh. "Fine. I still think you're being a moron but I can't stop you." You finally conceded, not understanding the coffin you just sealed. These are the words you played on an endless loop even years later; could you have changed his mind and made him stay? The possibilities haunt you. "Love you." You tacked on, pinching his side when he laughed again.
"Ow ow ow, I was being nice!!" Touya yelped, snickering as he wriggled out of your grip and rubbed his side self-pityingly. You ignored his faux wounded expression, stepping back and watching him slide open the window to crawl out with returning dread. Right before he lifted his other leg to swing to the other side, he looked back at you with that grin of his, split lip quirked up and scrunching his nose. "But like ya too. I guess." He laughed, poking his tongue out at you before disappearing before you could smack him.
Touya was good at sneaking out. You watched him sneak past the fence, white hair a beacon in the moonlight. Right before he climbed over to the woods where he always loved to practice, he turned back towards you as if he knew you would be watching, hesitating before moving his mouth in a silent "love you too" before he disappeared out of sight.
You never went to sleep, waiting at the window of his bedroom for him to come back.
He never did.
Any hope you had of Touya being alive died when his jaw was discovered on Sekoto Peak. The search teams started their hunt the second the forest fires died down enough to risk traversing the mountains, but at that point they were vocal about how they didn't expect to even be lucky enough to find remains intact enough to use to identify a body, let alone the thirteen year old boy in one piece.
That point of the conversation was when Natsuo grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the room before you could hear anything more. But it was enough. The words replayed for years and years every time you closed your eyes.
"I can't stop you."
"Identify a body-"
"They found his jaw on the mountains."
"Touya's dead."
But that can't be right. Because Touya's right in front of you, staring down at you with an expression mirroring your own, eyes filled with panic and maybe the slightest spark of hope. Though none of that is processing right now. For some reason, everything seems really really bright, and your ears are ringing loud enough to drown out even the wailing of the fire alarms, but you think you catch the scream of a ambulence siren-
A muffled voice snaps you back to reality, and you blink. Dabi's frowning, his eyebrows knitted in that expression he used to make when he was scared about something but too stubborn to admit it, mouth moving but no words coming out. You just blink and he groans.
"You're in shock. Did he hurt you??" He repeats, voice tight as he yanks you to your feet and grabs your arm before you stumble into the wall. The world won't stop spinning and you swallow a gag, trying to shake your head no. The second he has confirmation you're not bleeding out without him realizing, you're being pulled forward again, heavy feet barely keeping up.
"We need to leave." Dabi stresses, squeezing your wrist in emphasis. But you can't get your legs to move any faster than their current snails pace. Everything's coming in jumbled, and you frown when you look around the unfamiliar store.
Last time you checked, the walls weren't that scorched. You lightly consider how much work repainting that later will be. Plus, the smell of burning plastic is making your throat close up, so that's probably not good to attract customers with-
Dabi groans again and shakes your shoulder with the hand not wrapped around your wrist. Shoulder throbbing unexpectedly, you frown at him. "Hey, ow-"
Another jolt of pain goes up your leg when it smacks into something tipped over on the floor, but Dabi has you out the door before you can even look down to see what it was. "We. Need. To. Leave." He growls at you, fingers hot and still smoking slightly in the cooler air. But they're not burning you, you realize in your syrupy mind.
Things are slowly making more sense, and fear snags your heart as you finally pick up the pace to run into a side alley with him. He doesn't slow down until you're both decently far away, tucked between two buildings seemingly competing for the 'most rotting garbage on sidewalk' award. You wrinkle your nose and try not to inhale too deep, catching the slight shake to Dabi's hand as he pulls away.
Touya's hand. You correct yourself silently, still too nervous to totally believe it. Its impossible. Touya died years ago. Maybe that guy at the convinience store had some fear quirk or something. You refuse to let yourself to get your hopes up for nothing. Plus, it's not really the heartfelt reunion you expected; he hasn't said another word to you since you left the store.
But he knew your name.
So for now, Dabi it is. Turning to Dabi, you frown and open your mouth. "Where is Toga?"
You don't miss the flash of surprise in Dabi's eyes. Oh yeah, they think you know her as Tally. Oops. He tugs his hood up and turns away from you, letting you follow unassisted now. "I sent her back to the base when you called." He supplies begrudgingly, if you had to judge based off his tone. Now its your turn to look surprised, but you don't question him.
Squinting in the dim light, sun nearly fully set now, you stumble shakily after him like a newborn fawn. The adrenaline leaving your nervous system saps any energy you had in the first place, leaving you sagging with exhaustion and barely keeping up with Dabi's brisk, angry pace. "Where are we going?" You question again, getting him to pause, back tense in front of you.
"Shut up. I need to think." He snaps, and before you can think through the decision you point to the left.
"My apartments that way."
Both of you pause, as if equally surprised you offered that. You vaguely remember his confession to killing people (its barely processed that hero_lover_123 and your store friend are the same person, let alone them both maybe being Touya?) and put together that maybe its not the smartest to invite him to your home when a man is still smoldering to ashes as you speak, but at this point if he was gonna kill you wouldn't he have done so already? So you just blink at him until he pivots left, leaving you to follow him like a puppy.
The walk is long and winding, slower than usual to avoid main roads and any heroes drawn to the inferno barely snuffed out down the street. Even from far away, smoke curls in the air in the distance, barely visible in the darkness. It's never taken you this long to get home before; though, you've never had to hide a known villain from the heroes before, so its probably the safest move right now. Said villain slinks ahead of you without a glance back, shoulders hunched and expression hidden. Real happy looking. Obviously.
When you finally reach your apartment and unlock the sticky door, crossing the passageway into your home feels like a nail in the coffin; there's no going back. Exhaling a shaky breath, you turn towards Dabi, who's looking wholly out of place in the tiny, bright hallway. Suddenly you feel self conscious of your humble little space and feel the need to say something to defend it.
"I've been meaning to repaint." You say lamely, mentally hitting yourself once its too late to take back. Sure, its true; but you've been meaning to repaint since you moved in. Dabi glances down at the peeling baseboards with a dull expression, and you hurry to the kitchen before he looks back up.
An uncomfortable tension is thick in the air, but how do you even begin to understand this, let alone deal with it? So you just fill two water glasses, setting them on the kitchen counter and taking a seat on the wobbly stools next to the stove. Thankfully, Dabi follows your lead and takes a drink -after a suspicious sniff- and leans against the counter without taking a seat.
Finally you get to take a second to get a good look at him. As much as it complicates things, its impossible to deny that it is Touya. Or some weird uncanny clone. The slope of his nose is the same, the down-turned slant to his piercing eyes unchanged from when you were kids. Scars warp the skin under his eyes, and shiny staples mix with rusted ones digging into the flesh next to the tender fullness of his lips. They make you wince just looking at them.
They dig even deeper when he frowns, bristling under your intense stare. Blinking, you look up at his eyes and meet his conflicted expression, so different yet so similar to the one he would make before he died. You frown again, so confused that you just want to go to sleep and nap for a few weeks until things make sense again. "Is this like a Jason Todd scenario?" You blurt, brows knit.
The tough guy act drops as Dabi blinks at you incredulously, a huff halfway between a sigh and laugh escaping before he can put his walls back up. "You're such a weirdo." He groans, elbows braced against the counter as he drops his head into scarred hands to rub at his neck. A beat passes before he breaks the silence again. "You changed your hair." He notes softly, not meeting your eye.
You tug on a strand self consciously, looking down at your chest. After you ran away, you changed a lot about yourself. Half of it was because of the off chance someone was looking for you; but mostly you just needed a fresh start. Even if it hurts, you can't blame him for not recognizing you. "Yeah." You mumble, taking a sip of water and swallowing with a grimace when it irritates your raw throat. "You changed yours too."
Eyeing him again, you admit the black suits him better than red ever did. From under his thick layers you spot the flash of metal cuffs adorning his ears, and a lump wells in your throat when you think of all the piercings Touya used to tell you he'd get when he was old enough, no matter how unheroic they looked. The fact that they pissed off his dad was just an added plus. It seems he got them all, and then some.
He shrugs, short nails picking at the hem of his shirt. "I never could pull off red." He says uncharacteristically softly, eyes still trailed downward. Both of you seem to be waiting for something, anticipation heavy in the air. Neither of you speak for a few minutes. "I should've recognized you sooner. I thought I did when you turned that fucking TV off, but what were the chances? But I should've noticed before that." He curses, pinching the bridge of his nose like its giving him a headache.
You've been thinking the exact same thing. Touya was your other half; you knew everything about each other. Have you both really changed so much that that means nothing?
But its undeniable that Touya is no longer the pre-pubesent boy shoving you away because 'girls are germy' or gingerly laying against your back after you snuck into his bed during a sleepover where you set up your futon like its ever been used. No, this is Dabi, and Dabi's a man. A murderer. But Dabi is just Touya, isn't he? And Touya's yours.
"I really missed you." You force out, swallowing the lump in your throat along with all the questions you want to hurl his way. Where has he been?? Why didn't he come back for you?? Is he okay?? But you know he'll clam up if you push, so you stay silent.
Its quiet for another painfully long minute, before Dabi straightens up and downs his water in one last gulp, some of it escaping and rolling down his sharp, scarred jaw. Your eyes track it like a dying man, watching the droplet hit his shirt and dissolve into a tiny dot a shade darker than the fabric. When your eyes finally trail back up, you find Dabi's eyes already on yours; there's a hungry, desperate flash in his eyes but its gone before you can breath out anything more than his name.
"Touya."
You whisper it like its a prayer, voice breaking and finally spilling over with the tears you've been holding back all day. Maybe even since he died. They come quietly at first, cheeks only slightly wet. But when you blink and see the bright blue eyes you've lost for years? Great, heaving sobs leave your suddenly frail feeling body, and you scrub your fist to your eyes as embarrassment burns in your cheeks and ears. Even after all this time, crying in front of Touya is just as embarrassing as it was.
But you don't expect arms to wrap around you, pulling you into an uncharacteristically gentle embrace and letting your fat tears wet his shirt even further. Touya presses his face into the top of your head, nuzzling your hair with a bitten off sound that shakes his body like a stripped down sob, though no wetness greets your scalp no matter hard either of you seem to cry. So you cry enough tears for the both of you.
It must be painful, how tightly you're gripping his shirt (and possibly skin) with your fists, but if it hurts Touya doesn't murmur a word. He just holds you as you cry, rubbing a hand down your back occasionally and letting you suck desperate breaths of his skin and shirt, wishing you could suffocate in his scent. It already feels like you are, with the fuzziness muffling your head the further you hide your face in Touya's chest and the harder you cry.
"I missed you too." He begins, hesitant fingers tracing feather light paths up your arm. It tickles. "But I'm different now. You have to understand that."
There's a finality to his voice that makes you let go and step back nervously, just to get a good look at his face. But the expression you find backs your fear up; it's withdrawn, shuttering off in real time with nothing you can do as his walls finally slam back up with a silent thud. Before you've even really had him, Touya's gone again. Dabi frowns at you, face blank and smooth. His rough lips part to speak, and his fingers twitch like he regrets hugging you at all.
You beat him to it. "I don't care." Once again, you blurt it out, but you find yourself not regretting it. "I don't care, Touya." You repeat, voice thick. Blinking doesn't help very much so you lift your arm to scrub at your reddened cheeks.
Dabi's whole body tenses, boots leaving a muddy print on the tile when he steps back. "Don't call me that." He hisses sharply, the first real time he's sounded truly upset at you in years. His wild demeanor reminds you of the dogs you would try and pet when they wandered away from the alleys and came by the Todoroki house. There was one in specific, a little gray mutt, who no matter how slowly you moved, how gentle you pet, would bite at you, tail between his legs and haunches shaking in fear. You see that same mutt trembling in front of you right now. There's true fear reflected in Dabi's eyes, no matter how well he can mask it now.
But of course, you never know when to stop, a trait he knew and understood well after years of patching up the bites on your hands.
"It's your name, isn't it?" You snap back suddenly, sniffling. Something childish rears her head inside of you and you dig in angrily. "Touya Touya Touya. You're no different, see??" The words are mean -even cruel- maybe, but you can't find the energy to care much.
Dabi backs up like you're something to be fearful of, which makes you stay rooted in your spot with a pang of guilt in your chest. But the snarl he throws back your way has just as much venom to it, his voice rough and mean. "You're awfully bold. Haven't you seen me on the news? I'm a villain." He growls, voice raising steadily. "I'm not Touya anymore. Touya died on that fucking mountain."
Taking a step back forward, he descends on you, forcing your neck to crane upwards and your legs to shuffle clumsily backwards till your back hits the counter. A small throb of pain registers somewhere in the back of your head, but it's drowned out by the adrenaline flooding your veins and locking your limbs. "Sure, Touya wouldn't hurt you. But Dabi would." His voice is deathly cold again. You wish he was yelling.
With his face mere inches from yours you can see each individual staple, as well as freckles unchanged even all these years later. Freckles your hands have mapped out countless times, tracing over them while Touya complained. He never would've admitted it, but he loved whenever you touched his face. But Dabi isn't Touya, so you keep your hands at your sides.
"I don't think he will, though." You whisper nervously, lips parted and nose prepared to catch even the slightest hint of smoke before he can activate flames. But no flames come. Dabi just stares down at you with narrowed eyes, biting his cheek like you're a puzzle he can't solve and just wants to throw against the ground and break.
For a second you think he might kiss you.
It's not like its something you've never done; the first time was too early, when you were 12. Neither of you even really knew what it was, but you figured it out together, deciding neither of you really had much of a liking for it. After then, kisses were reserved for cheeks and quick pecks goodnight, hugs your preferred intimacy. Both of you could squeeze as much as you wanted with a hug.
But things have changed, and you can imagine Dabi smashing his lips to yours and pressing as hard as you both want. When he steps away without even a glance to your lips you can't help but feel disappointed, the selfish thought quickly shoved somewhere far back in your brain with a blush. He turns fully away now, giving you enough space to finally let your brain catch up without the body heat dulling your senses. Anger still thickens the air between your bodies.
"I need to leave." He mutters, a slight limp to his stride that makes you furrow your brow. Panic laces up your chest and you've grabbed his shirt before realizing what repercussions you might face. Dabi freezes, flinching and whirling around to grab you once again. Shoving you against the wall before you've even had a chance to take an instinctive step back, his face glowers down at you with an unreadable, but undeniably angry expression.
This time you feel the pain shoot up your spine, a weak whimper leaving your lips as you grimace and wriggle away from the soreness of your back against the counter. A spark of guilt flickers across Dabi's face, but he only pushes against you harder, digging into your sore spots. His knee is pressed uncomfortably against your thigh but you can't budge against the solid wall of muscle that Touya's turned into.
"You never know when to quit, do you?" His tone is seething, eyes dark and dangerous like what you would expect from a real villain. Any bravery you felt dissipates and you slump in his hold, trying to relax so he doesn't push any harder. His hands grip too tight, bordering on painful whether he realizes it or not. "Am I gonna just have to show you how fucking broken I am?? I'll tell you now, that't not gonna be fun for either of us, doll."
When it doesn't look like he's planning on letting go, a sudden flood of anger washes over you and you scowl. "Y'know, Touya, for someone so insistent he's a villain and a different person, you sure haven't been acting very villainy to me." You spit out, wincing at the sudden pressure against your chest as you're pushed back, back forced to bend until you're almost leaning back over the counter with Touya in front of you. He looks livid.
"Well, I'm sorry for giving some grace to the only person who actually tolerated me before I burned. I should've expected you to push your luck like this, though. You always were stupid." He snaps, head tilted down to stare nose to nose with you. The words cut deep in wounds you thought closed long ago. Tears prick at your eyes. Maybe you are being stupid.
Shifting to take some pressure off your already aching back, you move a hand back to brace against the counter to take your weight. "And you always were mean when you were scared." You hurl back, staring up at his eyes as an anchor. It's a reminder; this is Touya, and Touya would never hurt you.
But the look in Touya's eyes makes you unsure in your devotion for a second. He's deathly silent, body immovable and unfamiliar in its roughness. Like a rabbit realizing it's been cornered, you shrink back.
Voice shaky, you look down at the hand fisted in your shirt, the scarred hands so unfamiliar. "Just please don't leave again To-" You cut yourself off with a little wince that you hope he doesn't catch, correcting yourself. "-Dabi. Please don't leave Dabi."
The name leaves your tongue like something rotten, but it seems to appease him at least slightly. The tight grip on your arm loosens, his head ducking before you can catch the way his face pales at the name he wanted used so badly finally spoken aloud. Suddenly, it's you doing the holding, Dabi limp and almost sagging into your arms with how much he's leaning into you.
You think of when Touya was being moody and would suddenly just give up, wanting nothing more than to lean against you and let you scratch his back without needing to ask. More often than not, you would do so without much teasing about how much of a baby he was.
But he's no longer an inch taller than you; your knees protest to the added weight against your body immediately. The overly-warm form pressed against you is unfamiliar and second-nature all at once, so you only hesitate for a split second before wrapping your arms around him once again. A hot puff of breath against your neck makes you shudder.
"I'm just so fucking tired." Touya whispers, exhaustion heavy in his voice. It might be the most defeated you've ever heard him sound before-you can read between the lines. Touya's been tired for years. Maybe his whole life. Tears finally used up, you just nuzzle against his face to offer any semblance of comfort you can.
"Please stay." You plead once more, not willing to make the same mistake you did last time. It's silent for enough time for your breath to catch nervously, but finally he nods weakly against your head and lets you sneak out from under his body, grabbing his hand tentatively to tug him into the living room next to the kitchen to sit down. You both land heavily on your second hand couch, sitting slightly apart.
Honestly, you never got to think this far. Touya's tense again, avoiding your eye in a way that makes you worried he's gonna try and leave the second he can. But for now, he sits still.
In the quiet you have time to sniff the air, wrinkling your nose at the stink of sweat and burnt hair. The mans death followed you here in the smoke clinging to your clothes and ash on your skin and you're ready to get it off. There's a hint of rotting flesh on his skin too, but the implications make you shiver so you don't think too hard about it.
"We need to shower." You mumble, tired, heavy limbs screaming in protest at even just the thought. Dabi seems to be in the same boat you are, only grunting half heartedly in response. But still, you will yourself to stand and grab some spare clothes from your room, handing the neatly folded pile to Dabi, who still hasn't moved from his spot. "You can go first. Down the hall and to the left."
It's a small apartment, and should be easy enough to find even without the help. But you still say it, eyes trailing after a too-silent Dabi as he ducks inside the bathroom and clicks the door shut behind him. Silence hangs heavy.
The moment to yourself is just what you needed, eyes screwed shut as you rub your temples and try and get your breathing under control. The shitty couch springs digging into your butt helps ground you slightly.
Touya is alive. Touya is in your apartment. This is fine.
You promise yourself you'll grill him more about how the fuck this happened later, but a small part of you doesn't know what you'd do if he just avoided you all these years. Hurt squeezes your heart even just at the thought. There has to be an explanation, right? Touya would never do that to you.
The water turning on makes you jump, but the steady stream of droplets lulls you into a dazed silence as you just sit and think for a while. Only a few short minutes later, the water shuts off, and a few minutes after that Dabi emerges with a baggy pair of sweats slung low on his hips and one of your shitty towels wrapped in his hair. The shirt is balled in his fist, presumably not fitting, and you snap your wandering eyes back up to his curious gaze.
The steam leaves the bathroom from the now open door, filling the chilled room with humid warmth. He pauses, shifting sheepishly. "I mighta messed up your towel. Sorry." He shrugs, clearly uncomfortable. A quick glance up makes the black blotches all over the towel blaringly obvious, and you can't help but grin softly.
"Toga wasn't kidding about a hair emergency, was she?" You breath out a laugh, and he hums in a slightly amused way.
"Shut it." He says lightly, but it comes forced and you fall into an awkward silence once again. This is even worse than it was before you recognized each other. He scrubs the towel against his dark hair with a frown, watching even more dye seep into the fabric. White patches are more common than black at this point. He'll have to redye it as soon as possible.
After a beat of just staring, you blink. "I'll shower now. Um, make yourself at home." You brush past him awkwardly, cringing at yourself as you leave him standing in the dark living room and shut yourself in the bathroom. The steamy bathroom. The steamy bathroom that the boy you've been in love with for your entire life was just naked in. Fuck.
Moving on auto pilot, you strip and turn the water as hot as it can go, shoving yourself under the spray and yanking the curtain closed. It takes effort to remember how to squirt shampoo into your palm and not think about how Dabi smelled like you when you passed him, or about the fact that he's probably sprawled out shirtless on your couch right now. You wince when you card your hands through your hair a little too roughly, distracted.
Usually, showers are almost ritualistic for you. Something relaxing after a long day to unwind with, warm water washing you clean and soothing any aches from the day. But you find yourself unusually antsy, eyes darting to the door at the slightest noise like the cops are about to burst in and take Dabi away. Or worse; the sound of the door opening and Dabi slipping away for the second time, and not being lucky enough to find him this time. You stew like this for a minute or two before you crack.
Feeling pathetic but not even caring, you raise your voice slightly to be heard above the spray of water. "Dabi?" You call, wincing when it comes out too quiet. Unless he was right in the hallway, there's no way he could've heard that-
"Yeah?" Comes a rough reply, voice muffled by the door but undeniably close. He must be feeling similarly to you, and you relax as you rub conditioner into your ends.
"Just wanted to hear your voice." You admit honestly, hearing him snort dryly. There's a slight sound of shuffling and you hear the door rattle as he sits with his back against the door, just like you used to do when you were younger and the other one would shower but you still had stuff to talk about.
"It's not very pretty." He laughs sarcastically, and you frown.
Shrugging, you remember he can't see you and your ears turn pink. "I like your voice." You argue, and he's quiet for a minute. Right when you think he's left he speaks up again.
"I'm surprised you haven't asked what happened." Dabi remarks dryly, almost too quiet for you to hear over the shower spray. You set the body wash down on the rim of the tub and hesitate, lips parting but no words coming out.
"I didn't think you would answer." You reply honestly, and you're rewarded with another snort as if saying "well you're not wrong"
You rinse off quickly. Even with the hot water, you feel suddenly chilled. Dabi doesn't offer up anymore information, which is disappointing but unsurprising all around.
"I'm gonna get out now." You warn him, and you hear him stand and move away from the door as you shut the faucet off and grab your other towel from the rack to wrap around yourself. The tile is freezing against your bare feet, so you hurry up and get dry and dressed in the pajama's you grabbed as fast as possible.
You'd never admit it, but you spend a good few extra minutes in front of the mirror, poking at your face and watching your reflection do the same with a critical frown. When Dabi said you changed, he wasn't lying. Both of you are different people, so why do you still feel that craving for his approval that you never could get rid of when you were younger? Suddenly your sweat-shorts and tank top feel plain and boring, and you wish you had something slightly cuter to dress up in.
Groaning silently, you grab your towel for your hair and turn away from the mirror, finally brave enough to open the door and venture back out into the lions den. Its even colder outside of the steamy bathroom, and you shiver.
Dabi's sprawled out on the couch, blanket kicked down by his feet and arms reaching above his head in a lazy stretch. With him laying like this, shirtless and bared, you can finally observe the full extent of his scarring. Nausea wells in your throat, but not from the scars themselves; but from the sheer amount of evidence to some very painful years. Years you weren't there.The puckered skin is rough and darkened, almost purplish like the bruises he always had scattered along his ribs and spine growing up. But these aren't bruises that can fade, and you can only imagine how badly they hurt.
Dabi catches your eye and raises an eyebrow almost challengingly, and you look away guiltily. With a snort he rolls his shoulders lazily, like a cat, and yawns.
"If I'm really staying here, I'm gonna crash soon." He muses, eyes flicking to you to gauge you're reaction.
It's not crazy late, but you find yourself so exhausted you really think you could fall asleep now and sleep for years. "Yeah, me too." You agree with a yawn, bare foot lifting to scratch the back of your calf nervously. Dabi's eyes follow the movement, trailing up your legs slowly all the way to your burning face. He doesn't even blink, eyes hard to see in the dim lighting but not leaving your face. Something heavy and unspoken lingers in the air, a silent question.
Neither of you want to say it aloud, but in the end, you're the one to speak up. "Do...do you want to sleep in my room tonight?" You offer softly, the shyest you've felt around him in maybe forever. Thankfully, his reply comes quick, and you aren't just left standing awkwardly for long.
"If you're sure." He stands, hesitating, before walking over to you to stand in the doorway of your bedroom in front of you. His eyes are dark and serious, but you nod anyways.
"I'm sure." You walk in, feeling his large form follow you, and you resist the urge to turn around and keep him in your line of sight. "Just like when we were kids." You tack on lightly, perching on the edge of your bed to get off your sore feet. Peering around your room, you wish you tidied up a little before he came in, but what can you do. Touya's room was always ten times worse than this, anyways.
"Like when we were kids." He repeats, raising an eyebrow at you. "That was a long time ago." He points out almost bitterly, but he can't hide the way he relaxes as he sits on your bed next to you. As much as Touya likes to hide behind Dabi, he can't entirely kill that little boy who loved you so much. So he just slides under the covers with a confidence he doesn't really feel, rolling on his side with his back facing you.
You hesitate, not used to a man in your space like this, but you remind yourself it's just Touya and crawl into bed next to him. You opt to lay awkwardly on your back, staring at the ceiling for a second and taking a quiet, deep breath.
"Uh, should I turn the light off now?" You reach your hand to your bedside table, hovering over the button to the lamp.
The blanket shifts as Dabi pulls it up to his shoulders, warmth reaching you even with the space between you. "No. I like to sleep with the lights on." He says sarcastically, startling a laugh out of you as you yank the covers in retaliation. You flick the light off and the room is instantly pitch black, your eyes squinting to adjust.
"Haha. Very funny." The mattress is soft as you settle down, shifting on your side to face his broad back and let your eyes trace over the dark shadows of his skin. Your voice lowers, just above a whisper. "This is almost as awkward as that time I slept over and got my first period. Remember when we woke up at like three in the morning to a buncha blood and we both thought I was dying?"
You feel his shoulders shake before you hear him snickering, but it dies down quickly. You hate how little he lets himself act like Touya; its like he feels the need to be a big bad villain in front of you constantly. Nudging the skin between his shoulder blades with a knuckle, you urge him to speak up.
After a minute, he snorts. "I think the worst part was waking up Rei when you started crying." Dabi murmurs, shifting his arm slightly to tuck under his head. You stare at his back, hand in front of your face and so close you could stretch your fingertips and trace the scars on his skin.
"No, the worst part was changing your sheets and trying to go back to sleep. You wouldn't even speak to me." You try and sound upset, but you can't help but giggle at the memory. It was a pretty awful night all in all. Every time you caught Touya's eye he looked vaguely grossed out and wouldn't say anything.
Dabi rolls over suddenly, deep, piercing eyes suddenly right in front of yours. Your noses are close enough to feel each others breath, features barely visible in the dark but still slightly possible to make out. You pray the blush dusting your cheeks is hidden.
"I thought you like, had an open wound or something. I was pretty freaked out." He whispers back, teeth flashing when he grins slightly. You snicker, ducking your head into your pillow, just reveling in his body being so close to yours for a minute. It takes effort to lay still and not bridge the small gap between the two of you; but you don't want to push your luck. There's still a good chance you'll spook Dabi off and he'll run. Neither of you speak after that, and several silent, sleepy minutes pass.
Eventually, you yawn and Dabi catches it, yawning too. Exhaustion weighs heavy in your limbs, and you can't imagine him not feeling the same. Especially since he did way more work than you did.
"Well,goodnight." You mumble sleepily, keeping your eyes open and on his. The pillow under your head suddenly feels like it's made of stones and you shift.
"Goodnight." He mirrors, but he doesn't close his eyes either. Neither of you move an inch, several beats passing, before you break the silence once more.
Speaking even softer, you scoot a leg towards his until your knee barely brushes his thigh. The catch of his breath reaches your ears, but he doesn't move so you leave your leg where it is. "Did you ever look for me?"
It's been weighing in your mind ever since you got in the shower. Maybe you'll never know the full story of where Touya's been for all these years, but you can't keep wondering if he had the opportunity to find you again. If he wanted to at all. Something nervous gnaws in your gut, and you resist the urge to squirm around and mess up the fragile trust you've established pressed so close you're barely touching. A part of you mourns the boy you could pull into your arms without a thought all over again.
"A few years ago, but the house was empty." He finally replies, reaching out a pinkie finger in a silent offering. The hand propped under your cheek stretches out and hooks it lightly, tension seeping from your limbs immediately. Guess that means your mom moved out sometime since the last time you saw her. Since you ran.
Warm with the realization he did try and want to find you, you smile softly in the darkness and peek up at Touya through your lashes. His stare is intense, sharp jaw tightly clenched as he fights whatever fight he has in his head right now. It's quiet save for both of your soft, tentative breathing.
Finally he finds the words. "Did you really believe I died?" He murmurs almost gently, raspy voice unsure.
A rush of memories flood in and you wince mentally. Specifically of Enji telling the childcare workers that you were a delusional weirdo who needed to join an institution when they came by and you started protesting that Touya had to be alive.
"Not for...a while. Pretty much until your jaw was found." You admit, voice thick. Even with your eyes mostly adjusted, its hard to make out many features on Dabi's scarred face, but his disfigured jaw is stark against his pale skin. Slowly, giving him enough time to push you away if he wanted, your hand reaches out to gently trace the marks. He freezes up, eyes narrowed on your hand, but slowly relaxes when no pain registers.
Neither of you even breath. You just brush lightly against his scars, lips pursed in thought as you trail fingers up his cheek, feeling the delicate skin under his eye get courser and darker. Slowly, you map out all the new lines on his face, adding them in your head to the face you already knew so well and gazing softly at what that makes up. Dabi. Your Touya.
Lips move under your fingers, Dabi's voice coming out softer than you've ever heard. "I loved you, y'know." He admits, and you can't swallow down a sob this time. "Crybaby." He mutters affectionately, voice uncharacteristically thick as he finally bridges the gap to pull you close against his chest and tuck you under his chin. Your hands instinctively shape against his chest, meeting bare skin ridged with even more scars.
The muscles rippling under your cheek are unfamiliar, yet another reminder of how much he's gone through. But is he not thinking the same about you? Neither of you made it through the years unaffected; but here you are, tangled in each others arms and everything is right in the universe again. So maybe things will be alright.
And his smell is the same as you remember. Something impossible to describe in a way giving it justice, but distinctly smokey and musky. A scent you could live in. Again, Dabi seems to be on the same page as you are, his nose buried deep in your hair as he just breaths you in and lets you cry against his chest. At this point, not much is coming, just small trembles that he rubs away for you.
You don't know when things change. When the trembling calms down, turning into anticipation thrumming through your nerves as you wrap an arm around his neck. When his breaths speed up slightly, only noticeable with your ear pressed against his chest like it is. But all of a sudden the tension in the air pivots, and Dabi's pinching your chin to pull you away from his chest to crash his lips against yours in a searing kiss.
By the time your brain registered what he just did, your hands are already trailing over his body greedily, pulling him even closer as you grip his bicep and thread a hand in his surprisingly soft hair. At some point, Dabi shifts and lifts the two of you up so you're propped against a pillow, no longer totally laying down on your sides. Large, unfamiliar hands cradle your body like it's something precious, then yank you closer and roughly kneads against your flesh.
Dabi tastes slightly like mint and the faint lingering hint of the cigarettes you sold him just earlier today. Your mouths devour each other eagerly, small noises leaving you each time you have a second to take a little breath before you're lips are on each others once again. Despite your whining complaints, Dabi pulls back to nip and suck marks into the delicate skin of your neck, so you take the opportunity to tug on his hair until he curses.
"Fuck, you're good at this." He groans, looking up at the ceiling like he's cursing (or thanking) god himself. His eyes land on yours again as you both pant, chests heaving from where they're pressed together. Warmth pools deep in your belly and your flushed cheeks darken another shade. Dabi just looks down at you for a second, hand squeezing the back of your neck lightly.
"This is a really, really bad idea though." Dabi takes a shaky breath, eyes trailing down your neck hungrily until he's staring unabashedly at your chest. The moons out tonight, providing some light, but still not much. It glints off his lidded eyes and makes them seem even deeper.
Not a single part of you cares, just wanting his lips back on yours before you scream. So you tell him so.
"I really don't care." You moan, leaning forward to mouth lazily at his neck. Now it's Dabi's turn to bite off a moan.
But with willpower you couldn't imagine summoning for yourself right now, he grabs your shoulder and guides you back with surprising gentleness until you're looking at him and not suckling his skin like a needy kitten. His cheeks are flushed, lips swollen and red. "Seriously- I-" He huffs, moving your face back again when you attempt to latch back on his skin. "I'm not a good person-I'm not the Touya you knew. Don't get any dumb ideas about fixing me." He stresses, but his hands don't leave your skin.
His next words come out harsher. "Don't think you can make me stay." Dabi finishes, fingers squeezing in emphasis.
Panic clears some of the horny haze in your head, and you pinch your brows with a worried expression. "Are you going to leave?" You ask nervously, latching onto the last part of his point, and Dabi backtracks.
"I'm gonna fucking murder Endeavor. Think I'm making it out alive after that? You've seen my flames." The cheek nuzzling against your neck helps soften the sting of his words slightly, but they still cut like a whip and make you tense up in fear. "I'm just saying I'm not cruel enough to string you along until then." He finishes with a slow, firm kiss against your jaw, not pulling back until you've relaxed in his hold again.
"I'm staying with you whether you like it or not." You mutter stubbornly back, ignoring his slightly forced laugh in favor of shuffling out from between his legs to crawl over him and settle in his lap. Now that shuts Dabi up, and he leans back against the pillows shoved behind the two of you to readjust until he has you just how he wants. Your thighs part and straddle his hips, noses across from each other as you make eye contact and slowly lower yourself down to sit fully.
There's a moan but you can't tell if it was from you or him. Maybe both.
Something hard digs into your ass and you blush, giving a small, experimental roll of your hips against his length. Now you whine, pleasure shooting up your spine and making you arch into the hands pressed against your back. Dabi curses, head thrown back and neck perfectly exposed to your hot mouth.
"You crazy, stubborn little-" You cut him off with a nip to his collarbone, and Dabi groans and squeezes the fat of your thigh appreciatively as he ruts up against you through your thin layers of clothes. Its somehow too much and not enough all at once, driving you insane as you try another slow grind against the bulge pressed perfectly against your clothed cunt.
Dabi leaves one hand on the small of your back to help guide your hesitant humps, the other going to your neck to press your mouth back against his. This kiss is different from earlier; it's rough, but unrushed, his tongue pressing past your lips to lazily lap at every crevice of your mouth it can. You follow his lead, tonguing the small silver hoop hooked in his plump lip before nipping the other, unpierced side. He lets out a shaky exhale and you take it as a good sign.
This is something you could do forever, just lazily making out and grinding against his lap. But after a while, when you've lost track of time and your lips are bruised and red, Dabi pulls back with a wince and squeezes your thigh until you slow down and sit on the backs of his thighs.
"I'm not gonna last forever like this doll." He shifts again, adjusting his sore hips underneath you. "And it kinda hurts like shit after a while." He admits, kissing your cheek with an obnoxiously wet smack just to bug you.
Shoving his face away you blink apologetically. "Oops." You grin shakily, trying your best to keep your hips still and hovering away from where you want them most. Sticky wetness clings your panties uncomfortably close from under your shorts, and you wish you could wriggle out of them.
Thankfully, Dabi seems to read your mind, finger tugging against your waistband and creeping down the now-bare skin of your hip. "So we're doing this?" He pauses, glancing up at you as if he couldn't feel your immediate nodding.
The words feel like cotton in your mouth, and you press your hot face to his neck. "Please." You beg softly, which is all he needs before his nimble fingers are tapping your side to get you to raise your arms so he can tug off your thin tank top. Dabi groans and takes a second to just look, eyes half lidded and flicking up to your face for a second before returning to stare hungrily at your chest. Your bra leaves...very little to the imagination.
"I'm gonna miss this little thing." He holds your flimsy tank top in his hand before tossing it aside and snaking his hands behind your back to unhook your bra. His fingers fumble for a second, but he gets it quickly, bra falling between you before also being tossed aside carelessly. "The second you walked out of the bathroom in your little pajamas and bare legs I wanted to just devour you right then and there." He rambles, voice velvety as his hands lift to squeeze and feel up your chest.
Moaning, you squirm around and look away self consciously, hands tugging at his sweatpants to try and urge him to pause so you can slip them off. Dabi snickers, hands not leaving your chest.
"Aww, is baby impatient?" He coos, grin wolfish. Its a far cry from the vulnerable, skittish version of Dabi you saw only a little bit ago; but it's still a mask on the boy you know. Hot fingers dig into the soft skin above your hips to pull you closer. "Are you wet?" He asks teasingly, fingers trailing over your shorts too lightly to be worth it. You whine and try to rut against him, but the touch is gone before you can make contact.
"Dabi come on please??" You pant, vision hazy as you look up at his unfairly gorgeous face. He just grins, drawing you in for another kiss before finally letting go to undo the string on his sweats. Your hands cover his before he can though, and you crane your neck to meet his eyes as you take over and undo the little bow. There's a flicker of surprise across his face, but it quickly morphs into a lazy smirk as his fingers raise to press into your shoulder as you scoot downwards until you're cradled between his lanky knees.
Hips raising to help you scoot his sweats down, the confident smirk on his lips fades away for a split second as his eyes catch yours. But it's back before you can question it, and suddenly your attention is filled with the view between Dabi's legs. Even with his dark boxers still on, he's hard and throbbing against the fabric, an intimidatingly large bulge straining angrily right in front of your face. Uncertainty shoots through you as you eye it warily, like an animal you don't trust not to jump out and bite you.
Fingers almost hesitantly gentle press into your jaw to tilt your chin up. "One time thing, kay?" He blinks seriously at you, not able to feel the way your heart plummets in your chest. But you nod weakly until he seems convinced enough to let your chin drop. For now you keep your little plan to definitely not have this be a one time thing to yourself; what he doesn't know doesn't hurt him.
Sorry Touya, but I'm not letting you leave so easily again.
Steeling yourself, you tug at his waistband until his cock springs free, landing wetly on his stomach startlingly close to your face. Dabi's fingers twitch, but they stay clenched by his knees and don't move towards you. Flush probably dark against your face, you let your fingers trail carefully over Dabi's stomach and around the dark hair of his happy trail as he kicks off his boxers.
Finally without any excuses left, you gently wrap your hand around his length and give an experimental pump, eyeing the way it twitches in your hold with a small spurt of precum. Dabi tenses, knee knocking into the side of your body as he jolts a little. Giving another slow thrust with your hand, arousal spikes in your belly and you wince at the slippery feeling in your shorts whenever you shift even slightly.
Dabi finally lets himself touch you, hand fisting in your hair with the perfect pressure, scritching the nape of your neck lightly. "You're killing me here." He groans out, hips jumping when you finally lower your mouth to lick up his length, lips pressing to his tip with a small, almost chaste kiss. This wins a broken moan from him, and you're rewarded with a hand squeezing your neck and helping guide you back down. He tastes slightly salty, and like something distinctly him.
Unsurprisingly, Dabi's big. His cock is long and pretty, slightly curved and swollen tipped, practically begging you to suck. So you do, swallowing him as far as you can until the back of your throat spasms in warning, and you pause with him still in your mouth. It's difficult, but you stay nice and still, tongue pressed flat against his cock as you raise your head back up. It drags over the flesh and his hand tenses in your hair, but he doesn't shove you back down, letting you take it at your own pace. He's almost disappointingly quiet, but it makes the small groans you do manage to pull from him all the more satisfying.
You only get a few good sucks in before the hand in your hair is pulling you off hurridly, forcing you to press your hands to the mattress to lift yourself up. Blinking, you frown at Dabi, eyeing his heaving chest and flushed neck. The scars mapping out over his entire torso tremble along with him, hard muscles tensed for you.
"I don't wanna cum like this." He explains quickly, tugging you up by your armpits to lay over him again before totally flipping both of you over to switch positions. Dabi's body fills your vision and blocks out any moonlight that may have been making things more visible, his light hair falling in his eyes as he stares down at you in barely concealed awe. "Can I?"
Nodding desperately, you lift your hips with a little squirm, almost cumming on the spot when he finally inches your shorts and panties down your legs. Pussy suddenly bare to the cool air, you shiver until something startlingly hot presses against your most sensitive spot. Yelping, your hands fly up to grab onto the closest things they reach-which happens to be the arms currently caging you in- and squeeze tight.
"Fuck Dabi-" The name feels less unfamiliar now, in a scenario you never even got close to with Touya. This is all new territory; the fingers trailing up and down your thighs are alien and hot, raising goosebumps in their wake.
He hums heavily, thick fingers dipping lower to gather up some of your slick and returning to your puffy clit to circle it firmly. Your legs twitch and you moan, not even registering the hand on your hip until you go to rut up and are unable to move. Whining, you try again, making him laugh roughly.
"You're adorable." He lowers his head to kiss you again, not even caring about the taste of him still on your tongue. It's hard to even focus enough to be able to kiss him back with the way he's touching you, but Dabi doesn't seem to mind your sloppy attempts at all. Spit smears across your lips as you kiss and bite and suck, your hands releasing his biceps to tangle in his hair to pull him down even more.
A tremor wracks up your spine when his fingers rub you just right, a moan slipping past your lips in encouragement. But, jerk that he is, Dabi just smirks down at you and trails his fingers down to your soaked entrance, leaving your clit aching and ignored. Your heartbreak must show on your face, because he huffs a laugh and kisses your nose in apology before slowly breaching a long finger into you.
"You'll thank me for this later." He reassures, kissing you again as he thrusts his finger in up to the knuckle before drawing it back out to repeat the motion a few times.
The fullness is sudden and new, making you arch off the bed and against his fingers with a gasp. You can't even find words in your mind until he's adding a second finger, the stretch burning slightly but turning to achy pleasure after just a few slow pumps. The pain snaps you back to reality and you whine as you already feel the coil in your belly pull taught, toes curling.
"D-didn't peg you for much of a prep guy," You gasp out, voice tight as he keeps moving. It feels impossibly good; and these are just his fingers. Anticipation thrums in your belly at just the thought of taking him.
Dabi hums, focused on his fingers dipping in and out of your sopping cunt. "You're special." He says simply, finally drawing his fingers out after what feels like an eternity and leaving you achingly empty. This hurts more than the stretch did, but its soothed by the sight of Dabi's fingers between his lips, and the low huff he lets out as his eyes practically roll back in bliss just at the taste of you. "You taste fucking amazing." He groans, eyes sharp and snapping to your lidded gaze to look over your disheveled hair and heaving chest.
If you didn't know any better, you'd guess he was about to eat you. He practically does; mouth immediately on yours, kissing you deep and slow until you're practically humping the knee he has braced between your legs like a dog in heat. "P-please-" You beg breathlessly, barely able to relax even when he listens without pushing you to elaborate.
Pressure finally comes back between your legs, but this time it isn't fingers. Dabi's thick arms brace by either side of your head as he lines himself up with your cunt, one hand only lowering to adjust himself until the weeping tip of his cock presses against your entrance. You tremble around him as he slowly pushes himself in, your walls sucking him in greedily while your body tenses up at the unfamiliar, sharp stretch. Each time you tense, Dabi grunts above you, hips stuttering as he gives you a second to adjust to the sheer size of him. It takes a minute, but once your body starts to process the pain as something that feels good, the pleasure hits you like a wall of bricks.
"F-fuck-" Dabi swears and ducks his head against your shoulder as you squeeze him impossibly tight, your hands flying up to clutch at him wherever you can. He lets you without a fuss, biting off another choked moan when you tug against his hair once he finally buries himself to the hilt.
It feels like you're gonna be split it two, the feeling a delicious ache that has endorphines rushing to your brain and letting you melt even more against the mattress. Dabi's cock gives a little throb, almost begging for permission to move, and you grind down on him in a silent reply. In doing so, you catch the base with your clit, sending sparks up your spine and making you whimper.
Something sharp stings your shoulder and it throbs, barely registering as Dabi's teeth in your skin until he licks over the mark apologetically. Your attentions stolen again when he slowly moves his hips once again, pulling back out of you until his tip barely breaches you, before pushing back in until his hips kiss yours once again.
"You feel so good," He moans, voice rough and scratchy against your ear. "Y'doing ok dollface?"
Barely able to conjure up the words, you nod your head and blink up at him, fist clenched in the bed sheets by your hip. "Mhm," You gasp, feeling him hit a spot deep enough it makes you see stars, eyes rolling back in ecstasy as he does it again. The coil in your belly tugs tight once again, and you squirm against him to almost try and take him even deeper in you.
Dabi must see the look in your eye because his thrusts speed up slightly, and he lowers a hand to rub against your clit right as his mouth swallows up the pathetic whimper you let out. You kiss him back desperately, thighs trembling as you feel yourself get closer and closer to that peak he's pushing you towards.
Pulling back, Dabi jolts when you clench down on him particularly tightly, throbbing dick twitching inside you as the first tremor hits you and travels all the way up your spine. The next thrust of his cock and rub of his fingers has you cumming with barely a warning, shock waves rolling through you and making you tighten with a series of moans and broken whimpers that are heaven to Dabi's ears.
He talks you through it, voice low and heavy. "Such a pretty, sweet girl. Are you coming already? G-good girl," He thrusts hard, and you swear you pass out for a second, slick with the sweat between your embraced bodies. Your orgasm seems to last forever, drawn out by Dabi's unforgiving thrusts hitting deep inside your soaking pussy. He seems to be getting close as well, his muscles tight and coiled and movements erratic. "Where do you want me?" He murmurs raggedly, mouthing the shell of your ear and nipping lightly.
It takes a second to understand what he's asking, another orgasm already starting to build in your belly with each thrust of his hips. "In me," You choke out, toes curling at the deep pump he gives you in response. Dabi seems almost surprised by your answer, but not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he just presses his lips to yours in a kiss and picks up the pace until you're both falling apart together.
Your second orgasm hits you like a truck, pussy quivering as you unveil around him and come around his cock, feeling him do the same with a rough squeeze to your hip. Uncomfortably hot liquid shoots deep in you, spurting and painting your walls white until it leaks out of your cunt. Dabi's teeth are in your skin once again, this time lightly nipping at your neck as he cums for an impossibly long time.
Finally, you both come down, chests heaving as you pant in each others ears and he slumps down against your body, careful not to crush you with his weight. Both of you are sweaty, limp messes, but just being close enough to feel Dabi's heartbeat is something you could get used to for sure. Neither of you speak, basking in the afterglow for as long as possible until you have to shatter the fragile fantasy world you've created together.
Unsurprisingly, It's Dabi who disturbs the peace, slowly pulling out of you and leaving you achingly empty once again. More liquidy cum leaks from you onto the sheets, warm on your clammy thighs. Instead of laying back down next to you, Dabi stands with a pained grunt, any protest dying on your lips at the sight of a thin trickle of blood trailing down his hip from somewhere on his back. Worry spikes in your chest and you sit up so fast blood rushes to your head, vision going spotty as you pull the sheet up to cover you at least slightly.
"Staple tore." Dabi grunts in explanation, voice tight with pain as he quickly shuffles to the bathroom and closes the door, leaving you alone and cold in the bed, dried sweat and cum mixing on your thighs as you flop back with a silent scream.
Alone in the dark, you just stare at the ceiling and let everything sink in. What a day. And even now, you don't think you could get any answers out of Dabi; if anything, you expect him to be even more withdrawn when he comes out of the bathroom. As much as he denies any relation to Touya, you can't help but see the blaring similarities between his past self and his current persona.
The sweetness of childhood was just beginning to fade before Touya died; Relationships were changing, and that was okay, but you were both thirteen, no longer little kids. You have no doubt in your mind you could've figured it out together and ended up as close as ever, but that possibility was taken from you before you even got the chance to see. So here you are, neither of you emotionally available whatsoever, but in the limbo of the little kids who never were apart and the adults who barely know each other.
Somehow this hurts almost as bad as when you believed he was actually dead.
Banishing the horrible thought to the back of your head, you sit up to shift to the end of the bed and drop down on your shaky, trembling legs. They nearly buckle under you with your first step, but with a little stretch you're able to more or less hobble over to the bathroom door to raise your fist in a hesitant knock. Touya's been in there a while, and if a staple tore on his back that's probably tricky to reach. It's not as if you've never patched him up before; quite the opposite.
Fist raised to knock, you nearly fall on your ass when the door swings open and Dabi peers down at you with a blank look, fist clenched with something in his palm at his side. He blinks almost boredly, and his face is closed off in a way that makes you feel thirteen again- you've come to expect little when he gets like this. Usually you'd give him time and space to feel more himself; but neither of those are something you can afford to have right now.
Eyes lazily trailing from your face down your form barely hidden by the thin, draping sheet, Dabi hums. "You good?"
Embarrassment wells in your throat for seemingly no reason and you shrug. "Just checking if you're okay." You admit, eyes narrowed on his hand as he brings something to his mouth to pop in his mouth and swallow dryly. "Are those my meds?"
Dabi shrugs shamelessly, popping another unlabeled painkiller into his mouth and crunching it. Your nose wrinkles just at the thought of the texture. "My staples hurt on a good day. Today's not a good day for them." He shrugs in explanation, side stepping you in the doorway to grab his sweats from the floor and wriggle them back on. You don't miss the wince on his otherwise blank face, illuminated by the bathroom light spilling into the bedroom.
"Can I do anything?" You ask helplessly, still barely able to stomach the idea of him being in pain as constantly as it sounds like. But you just get a noncommittal grunt in reply as Dabi flops in bed, rolling on his stomach to grab his phone from your bedside table to type something on. You stand in middle of the room for a second before frowning and closing the bathroom door to pee and clean yourself up at least a little bit with a rag, not even looking at yourself in the mirror.
A belated, sudden realization pops in your head that you probably should be more nervous about, but you find yourself too exhausted to care more than a numb surprise as you pad back into the bedroom and join Dabi in bed. He's still on his stomach, so you lay on your back staring at the ceiling fan.
"We kinda practiced unsafe sex." You point out to the ceiling, not even sure if Dabi's listening. His reply is belated, but you hear a small smile to his words.
"Wow. Even after Enji's talk. We really must be stupid kids." He remarks dryly, making you giggle. You remember the threats like it was yesterday; it was shortly after your 'period incident' and Enji had you both come into the living room after dinner before you went outside to run around.
He sat you down, large form already setting you on edge. You and Touya shifted closer together on the couch across from Enji, who eyed you both suspiciously.
"I'm not sure how lacking your home life is, but I've made Touya aware of the way things work by now." He started, eyes on you as he addressed you. Touya shifted sheepishly next to you. You were totally lost, and a quick glance over to a very embarrassed Touya didn't help clue you in whatsoever.
"There is no doubt you would have some very powerful children together, but if anything happens under my roof or at all with the two of you together right now, you're never welcome here again. Do you understand?" He had said, voice level but somehow still booming. The thought never crossed your mind, so it took a minute to understand, but once it clicked your cheeks burned as you nodded. You wanted to crawl in a hole and die, and it seemed like so did Touya.
Enji nodded, satisfied, before letting you both go play with a final reminder to talk to Rei if anything didn't make sense. You never took him up on the offer.
"I guess I'm never welcome at the Todoroki house again." You murmur dryly, turning on your side with your cheek against his shoulder. Dabi just huffs a silent laugh, phone off and on the bedside table again as he stares at the wall, back of his head facing you.
As if he can feel his eyes on you without even glancing over, he pipes up, voice muffled by the pillow he has smushed to his cheek. "I don't cuddle."
You don't even need to speak, skeptisim heavy in the air. The words Touya and don't cuddle literally just don't go together. Even Dabi seems unable to stand firm on his statement, rolling on his side to face you with a small, defeated huff. Grinning like you won something, which in your eyes you did, you fall into the familiar routine of rolling on your side with your back to his so he can pull you against his bare chest just the way you both love.
Sleep weighs heavy in your limbs and eyes, intensified by the satisfying soreness between your legs and warm arms wrapped around your body. Dabi's warm and surprisingly soft, rough skin still pressed nicely against your own. He squeezes you slightly, lips pressed to your hair in what you can only guess to be a kiss, and lets his fingers trace small patterns on your waist.
Surprisingly, it's him who speaks right before you slip into dreamworld. "Do you think we'll be okay?" He murmurs so softly he must think (or hope) that you're already asleep. Already halfway there, you hum tiredly, lazily pressing your lips to the arm closest to your head.
"I think we already are, Touya."
He doesn't correct you, just finally letting his eyes slip shut and his head to drop in the crook of your neck like it's meant to be there.
Maybe you're wrong; maybe you're not okay yet. You probably aren't. But for the first time since he realized he couldn't stop his flames on Sekoto peak, Touya feels like things might end up being okay.