Chapter Text
Joey stepped into their ratty apartment in a dream-like state. Today really pissed him off, it really did. He didn't think that there was an executive chef in the whole wide world that knew their manners. Sure, Joey fucked up, who didn't fuck up, but he was a good employee, he tried his best, he worked hard, he fixed shit when it went tits-up. He wasn't a whimp or nothing, he'd been locked up in hospo’s dingy basement, back of house, since he was fifteen. Really though, it was fucking shocking how much more time their exec spent yelling at his crew rather than cooking the fucking food. He'd get an earful before he got an all-day. Soft impressions of Glenda's baby pink locs painted across his mind choked that anger in his stomach when it went to bite back. Joey didn't think idiots and assholes should be allowed to keep being idiots and assholes, but when it was his job on the line, he'd have to force himself to bite his tongue and swallow down those raised fists. This apartment wouldn't stay theirs if he missed even a couple days of work. Rent in LA's fucking stupid. But sweet evenings beside his lover on the couch weren’t, and neither of them had anywhere else to turn tail and run to if shit got bad.
Glenda’s been trying to quit all her habits, she tells him, and it's been easier on both her and Joey’s wallets ‘cuz of it. Even if she was feeling like shit, getting pissed at him for shit that didn’t matter. She said they're drug testing at work now, and really, they didn't have one clean friend in all of Cali that Glenda could ask for a favour. She's been freaking out about all the new technology surrounding shit like that too, she doesn't even want a sip of beer. Joey thinks it's silly, but he's already told her enough times that he doesn't think she needs to hear it anymore. Kicking off his non-slip work clogs, he sets out for the shower to scrub the grot of the day off his body.
It was the tiniest, cheapest apartment that a line cook’s and teacher's aide’s hourly wage could buy, so there weren't many places Glenda could be hiding on the way to the bathroom. Dipping quietly into the ajar bedroom door, she slept soft as morning dew over their unmade queen. The mauve duner framed her like spring roses, her face down and delicate figure rising and falling under the cold touch of moonlight. Smiling the sort of smile only soft and happy idiots do, Joey lent against the doorway for a second and watched her in her faux-silk sleeping gown. She was perfect.
Slipping from the doorway and across the thin 'hallway’ into their cell of a bathroom, Joey shucked the day's clothes to the ground, hissing under his breath as a tender blister on his thumb mistakenly dragged across his boxers. He cracked the small frosted window near the ceiling, there’s enough mould in the grout as there is. He liked the water scalding, letting it soak his grit-sodden body through. Joey wasn’t religious, he was spiritual, a term more and more shitty white teenagers were using by the day, but it felt holy in the biblical sense of the word as he let himself be lovingly, wetly seared. He took their unbranded soap in his calloused hand, lathering himself then scrubbing with a loofa. Too many guys didn’t know how to properly bathe today. He rinsed off then finished up with a round of shampoo in his short, gently curled hair. This was his second favourite part of the work day, right behind curling his loving arms around his baby’s serene waist under the delicate gaze of the nighttime. Joey took a few more moments to run his face, his flesh, and his fatigued soul under the shower head before cutting the water. He towelled off, rough and cheap fibres serving almost as an exfoliant. Kicking his dirty clothes to the laundry corner, he draped the towel over the rack, shutting off the lights before making his way back to his lover.
This day had wrung him out. Mods in LA were miles more ridiculous and common than what they’d get back in New York. Some people needed to get in their own fucking kitchen and cook rather than torture his poor soul. Joey ground his teeth together for a moment as he saw the pile of unfolded clothes on the ground that Glenda said she’d get done today. He relaxed with a glance towards her tranquil form. He picked out pulled on a pair of boxers, straining his eyes in the dark as he crawled on to the bed. Lazily snaking an arm around her, Joey unwound into the sheets. Favourite part of the day. Nothing beats this. He thought, decidedly, nothing would ever beat this, not until the end of time. Her weight beside him in bed was like slipping into dryer-warm pyjamas, or a good movie, or a song that made you want to dance, in a soothing sort of way. Her body shifted like a bow against the neck of a violin.
“Joey?” her voice was as silken as the rain.
“I’m sorry baby, go back to bed, i didn’t mean to wake you up” Glenda moved herself to face her lover, he thought she looked like clouds in a pink sunset. The most beautiful smile on her face, sparkling even in the dead of night. Even if LA was never really dead. It shifted into a more neutral look, darkness making her seem almost somber.
“How was work?” her loving voice. Her crystal wine glass voice. The glasses they served with the expensive bottles at his job.
“Shit,” Glenda smiled at that and then Joey did too, “how about you?”
“Alright, it’s been alright, all the kids are getting rowdy ‘cause they wanna go on break, i do too though” she was perfect, Joey wanted her to gaze into his eyes forever. He wanted her to get her holidays, he wanted to spend more time with her on his off days. He was always working weekends. Joey raised a rough hand to run through her hair, her sun-pink hair, he didn’t know how she made box dye look so good. He thought a lot of girls looked tacky when they did it themselves, but his baby was just perfect.
“I’m gettin’ rowdy too, we haven’t spent a day together in so long” Glenda let out a girlish and light giggle at that.
“I wanna watch something with you, get some pizza or something”
“Well then, I’ll start saving” Joey spoke, Glenda smiled at that as well, Joey kept running his fingers down her hair, taking her in, every perfect part of her. Her face naturally fell to neutral. A soft and now undeniably melancholy neutral with a slight pout and drawn eyebrows.
“What’s wrong?” Joey moved his hand down to her waist. His palm and her subtle curves fit together like lips.
Glenda shook her head, a strand of pink fell over her face, “nothing, i’m just still sleepy, we should head back to bed now”
“Baby, c’mon, what’s wrong?” Joey's brows drew together, his hand heavier on her heavenly body.
“I’m being serious Joey, let's go back to bed now” Joey felt ill watching her angelic features stiffen like a pane of stained glass.
“Glenda, i’m not an idiot, what’s wrong?”
“You’re being an idiot right now Joey, i’m tired, i wanna go back to bed”
“What happened, baby? Did someone hurt you? Are you alright?” That hand was tightening on her hip a bit. Subconsciously, reflexively, like a snarling animal.
“Fuck off, Joey, just fuck off, i wanna go to bed” Glenda grabbed his arm and shoved it off. Joey clenched his fist and watched her turn over as an abrupt end to a dream.
“Glenda, what the fuck happened?” Joey sat up, loomed over her like a bout of nausea. The world felt velvety. Joey couldn’t fucking deal with Glenda when she was like this, he wanted to know if she was alright. What the fuck happened. Who he had to punch on with.
“You don’t want to know, you don’t wanna know Joey, now let me go back to bed, i’m tired, it was a long ass day” she refused to peer up at him, not for a moment.
“I won’t get upset or nothing, do ya really reckon i’d get mad or some shit like that if you told me about anyone being an asshole to you?” the crisp air now felt uncomfortably warm. The sound of hitched breaths began to pour from Glenda’s now shivering body. Joey could vomit.
“C’mon darling, what happened…” he stroked her like she was a frail cat as she tried to hide her sniffling.
“They’re not drug testing at work, Joey” she sounded like an unheard prayer.
“I don’t give a shit if you wanna just quit everything babe, I won't be an asshole about that” Glenda tilted her head towards Joey’s, wet cheeks reflecting the moon.
“It’s not that,” she took a wet breath, “you… you won’t get mad right, you won’t leave me here”
“Of course not baby, I'd do anything with you, you know that” Joey’s chest felt like it was constricting. He lent down, face closer to Glenda’s tears.
She paused, breath uneven, eyes wide and dark as venous blood in the night. Her still body, like the morning before the sun came up, the endless feeling of a blue dawn. Joey felt like the splintering wooden handle of a knife ran through the dishwasher one too many times, like the boiling welt from a harsh backhanded slap.
The words came as a wound,
“I’m pregnant” and Glenda turned to her side again, and her tears soaked the sheets. Joey’s hand stopped its soothing movements, freezing on her upper arm. The air was too hot. He needed to go outside and scream, he needed to hit something, he needed to tell Glenda she was a fucking idiot for not remembering her birth control every day. He needed to swallow down the parts of himself that were boiling over right now, they wouldn’t be of any fucking help. And then he remembered what just happened, and he needed to scream again. Joey sat up again, mindlessly went back to stroking her hair, her drawn up arm, her waist and hips, before his mouth moved without him having to think too much.
“Can’t we get rid of it?” He knew the answer before the question left his mouth.
“Joey, i don’t wanna fucking get rid of it.” The words wanted to bite but they were too sodden.
“What, you think it’s a person or something? You’re a fucking hippie, i know you shouldn’t”
“Joey, we’re not getting rid of it, alright?”
“I’m too fucked up for a kid, you are too, for fucks sake Glenda have a real look at yourself, you think you can raise a kid?” this was more pointed, Joey’s mind wasn't rambling, he needed to say this.
“Well if it takes after you then maybe it’ll be too much of a challenge, you’re such an asshole sometimes, we can’t fucking get rid of it” Glenda’s tears dried sticky to her face as she blinked them away, breathing desperately, steadying under Joey’s hand.
“So what, you’re gonna raise it? with what fuckin’ money? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re not exactly rollin’ in dough”
“Get a second job then, it’ll be your kid too, you better not fucking forget that part”
“You know how much I already work! I bring in way more money to this shithole than you do!” Joey's hand stopped at her waist again, mindlessly, Glenda reached to shove it off like she did before.
“Just fuck off Joey, I'm going back to bed now, and we're not fucking getting rid of it”
Joey stood up, watched her taut body in the bed, felt every muscle in his body burn. He slipped out the door without thought in his movement. Fucking hell. A kid. Glenda didn't know shit about what that meant. Finding himself in the kitchen, he swung the door of the fridge open and grabbed a beer, hearing it hiss as he popped the tab and swallowed down a sticky mouthful. a fucking kid, in here? This place shit. Glenda couldn't bring a fucking kid in here. She didn't make enough money and Joey knew she wouldn't get a second job, and he didn't want to either. He worked too much, he worked too long, too late into the night, he knew she wasn't gonna take a Goddamned step up. He grabbed the case and lugged them to the coffee table, sitting his ass down on the couch as he riffled through the cushions to find the remote. He didn't care what was on, he just needed to listen to something other than what he could only guess was more crying from Glenda's room. She brought this upon herself, they couldn't have a fucking kid. fumbling with the buttons, some lousy shit on the tv began to drone on, and Joey set to drowning the case.
A fucking kid. Bullshit.