Chapter Text
Rin hated this.
He didn’t understand. There was absolutely no reason for him to be there yet he had been forced to. It took a week of chasing and insisting and he couldn’t avoid it. Day, night, a message, no matter what, the pest wouldn’t go away.
It didn’t help that Rin lived with the pest.
So now he was there after relenting, sitting at the dining room table, his brother in front of him with an expression so grim and serious that it made Rin uncomfortable.
Last time they sat like this with silence looming over them as Sae gathered his thoughts, it was the worst conversation he had ever had with his brother. Having ‘the talk’ and asking Rin whether he was the ‘pencil or pencil sharpener’ – Rin wanted to punch himself so he could rid himself of the memories.
And now…
Sae sat in silence again even though he had called this meeting. Rin just waited for him to say something but the longer this went on, the angrier he got. He had better things to do than talk to his brother about whatever.
Yoichi was going to message him soon about his day and Rin had to respond to him as soon as possible.
“So.” Sae began though Rin could hear the hesitation. “It’s official, right?”
Rin blinked.
“What?”
“You and that idol…” Sae continued. He grimaced. “You guys…are a ‘thing’?”
“A thing?”
Sae exhaled heavily as if hiding his frustrations. “Dating. I saw the way you guys looked at each other when you came out of your room and—”
Sae paused, his nose scrunching up in distaste. He then sighed.
“Listen, if you guys are going to do… things in the apartment, you can at least let me know. I can go to a cafe for a few hours or something. Just…don’t disturb the neighbours. You guys were quiet from what I can tell but we don’t want to risk it.”
Rin just stared at him, processing the meaning behind his words. He felt himself turn red in embarrassment and anger.
“W-We didn’t do anything!”
“You’re stuttering.” Sae pointed out. “It’s fine. It’s a natural part of a budding relationship. All I’m asking, if you guys want privacy to let me know. Or if you’re going to do the deed late at night, to keep it down. I really don’t want to know what you guys are up to but I get that you might have some…urges.”
“I fucking hate you.” Rin muttered, placing his head in his hands. “Stop talking, stupid brother.”
“I still have to take care of you as your older brother, especially when mom and dad will kill me if I don’t.” Sae replied with a shrug. “You still need guidance so I’m doing my best.”
Sae reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his phone. He unlocked and showed Rin his browser and as soon as he saw it, his nose scrunched up.
“Now, after doing some research, I concluded that these were the best brands.” Sae began to explain nonchalantly. “This one has various sizes. I don’t know what size you are but they should have something that fits you. This one here,” he changed windows, “are ‘natural’ so they’re hypoallergenic. As far as I recall, you don’t have a latex allergy so the regular ones should be fine but this is an option if it turns out that they’re not.”
“Shut up.”
“If you really want to make things interesting, people have said that the flavoured ones are fun. Look, there’s even strawberry flavour. There are edible ones too but they don’t protect anything but I guess it’s okay since you’re both guys.”
“Stop.”
“You have a lot of penlights so I thought these glow in the dark ones might be more familiar.”
“I’m going to fucking kill you.”
Rin felt his heart throb, threatening to just jump out of his chest like some wild monster that had nestled in there unsuspectingly. He always felt this way when he was about to go to an event but this was different.
After settling all the trades that he could, he made his way through the seats, inwardly excited that he was on the ground floor for once. Never, in all his years of trying for concert tickets, did he ever get the chance to be so close to the stage. He was so close that if Yoichi stepped forward, he would probably be able to see his bright eyes and pristine skin so clearly.
Well, it’s not like Rin didn’t. After their c-confessions, they continued to see each other as regularly as possible…which was not really much, maybe once a month. They could only see each other through a video call on most days. Rin always longed to see Yoichi and hold him and talk to him and kiss him—
No! Not now! He was at EGOISM’s concert. He couldn’t think of such things right now! He had to live in the moment, especially since Yoichi had been so gracious to give him such amazing seats. He had to savour it, breathe in the atmosphere, and get ready for the show.
Rin reached into his itabag, decorated with Yoichi’s can badges, to pull out a giant fan with Yoichi’s name on it and this concert’s new penlight, changed to Yoichi’s bright lime green. The chatter started to die down as the lights dimmed, a silent but intense anticipation in the air. When music started the blare, the screams reverberated around the room. Rin was tempted to yell out as well but he kept his mouth shut.
The lights shone on the stage and out came EGOISM from under the stage, beginning with their first song. Although Rin had seen them on the screen before, whether from a Blu-ray or on the giant screens at concerts, he was able to see every detail as he was so close. He didn’t need to imagine seeing Yoichi in reality dance because it was actually happening.
Rin’s insides twisted and turned, watching every minute action of his dancing, how there was the slightest flick of his wrists and kick, the smooth transitions of his footwork, the slightest twists of his hips – Rin could hardly comprehend how every move mesmerized him completely.
The only thing that broke him out of his trance was Yoichi’s voice when he sang. He had grown used to ignoring the other members of EGOISM so his ears were only attuned to Yoichi’s voice whenever they did a song.
He watched the joy on his face as he sang, people screaming when he did. He turned with a flourish, giving a wink seemingly in Rin’s direction, almost causing a heart attack. Rin forced himself to remain calm, not wanting to ruin the concert for Yoichi.
And he wanted to enjoy being so close to the stage.
However, it got harder and harder to keep calm with each song. Yoichi’s beautiful voice filled the air and Rin, being so close, felt like he could hear his breath more clearly into the microphone. He knew that that wasn’t the case but something about it this time grabbed something at his chest.
And the costumes…
Whoever did the costumes this time highlighted Yoichi’s body too well. His narrow hips, his athletic form; even though he was shorter than Rin, his pants stuck to him tightly, elongating them meanwhile showing the shape of his as—
Rin scolded himself for having such thoughts.
It didn’t help when the costume designer decided to give a little more… fan service. There were some outfits that weren’t only just tight but some showed his midriff; others were ripped at the knees but then there were some that were ripped at the chest though they didn't show too much.
Well. ‘Too much’ was subjective.
It felt like a sin for Rin to look at those places but he didn’t want to look away, wanting to see Yoichi perform. But he couldn’t help it when Yoichi was wearing one of those outfits, looked into the audience and it almost appeared like he met Rin’s eyes. He gave him a wink and blew a kiss in his direction, making him freeze in place.
But he wasn’t the only one who thought that kiss was for him as the screams around him completely ruptured his eardrums from how loud they were at that action.
The performance continued but Yoichi’s kiss didn’t escape from his mind. He knew he was playing up the fan service but Rin could see the shape of Yoichi’s lips when he blew that kiss. Rin had…begun to be a little familiar with them and could remember how soft they were; how heated and passionate they were, and every time, Rin felt his heart beat rapidly.
Just like how it was now.
The only difference at that moment was that he couldn’t touch Yoichi.
He couldn’t wait until he did.
Rin was tired but he was still incredibly alert because he was standing in a place he never knew he could ever access before.
The VIP pass was trembling in his hands as security led him down the normal looking halls. People were moving around to clean up for the night and Rin knew he didn’t have much time to look around. After all, the pass was only for him to meet EGOISM, maybe snap a picture, and Yoichi told him there were other benefits but he didn’t give him any further details.
As he approached the dressing room and showed the security in front of it his pass, the hulking man knocked on the door to announce his presence. They got approval and Rin stepped in.
“Ne, it’s Rin-chan!” Bachira said with a slight cheer. He immediately hopped over and placed his arm around his shoulders. “Long time no see!”
“Long time no see.” Rin mumbled, not exactly sure how to handle the rest of EGOISM, especially since the last time he saw them, he was completely drunk.
“Oh? I didn’t know you were a fan.” Chigiri said, walking up to Rin with a smile. He leaned to the side, looking down slightly next to Rin. “Oh, perhaps…not of all of us?”
Rin quickly tried to hide his itabag behind himself, completely mortified. Yoichi knew about them and he needed it to carry his stuff, but for some reason, having the rest of EGOISM know was even worse. He had already humiliated himself in front of Yoichi’s friends and now they were just going to judge him more! They knew that Yoichi had such a lame friend now.
Well. Not just ‘friend’.
“Well, obviously he supports me more.” Yoichi said as he pushed past Bachira and leaned against Rin, his cologne making him drowsy. “He’s my…friend after all.”
“Rin-chan and I can be friends too so he can make an itabag of me.” Bachira replied with a grin. “I’m the cute one.”
“Hah? Why wouldn’t anyone not make an itabag of me?” Chigiri questioned as he flipped his hair behind his shoulder. “I’m clearly the pretty one.”
“You guys…” Kunigami spoke from his spot on the couch, silently observing them before sighing.
“But Yoichi’s special. He’s cute and pretty.” Rin said before he could stop himself, not seeing the point of this argument when it was so obvious. However, when he realized he said that in front of the members of EGOISM, including Yoichi himself, he felt himself go red, glad that his mask was able to partially hide his face.
“Ooh, he really is your fan, isn’t he?” Bachira grinned deviously as he looked over at Yoichi. Yoichi shot him a glare and immediately, Bachira released Rin from his grasp. “Scary~”
“You guys should probably let Yoichi handle his guest.” Kunigami spoke as he casually took off his shirt to change into another. “We need to get going soon.”
“Right! We’re going to party!” Bachira cheered excitedly. He looked over at Yoichi and Rin. “Are you sure you don’t want to go, Yoichi? Rin is invited if he wants to!”
“I…” Rin glanced over at Yoichi. The plan was that after the concert, they would head back to Rin’s apartment so they could hang out and Yoichi would sleepover. Because of the concert, Yoichi had a rare free day tomorrow so he was adamant about spending it with Rin. It would be a lie to say that Rin wasn’t looking forward to it. “I’m good.”
“They already have plans.” Chigiri replied, emphasizing ‘plans’. He gave them a smirk, taking a step forward to pat Yoichi on the shoulder. “I hope you guys have fun.”
Rin was unsure about what Chigiri’s tone was implying. As far as Rin was concerned, he always had fun when he was with Yoichi. Based on the fact that Yoichi still hung out with him, he did too (at least, Rin hoped so). It just seemed like Chigiri was saying that Yoichi actually didn’t have fun with him.
“We will!” Yoichi huffed, grabbing Rin’s arm into the room a little more. The other three started to leave after getting dressed but Yoichi was excitedly chatting with him.
“What did you think of the concert?” He asked, voice filled with anticipation. “We were trying some new formations for this one, especially since we haven’t performed some of the songs live before.”
“It was great.” Rin answered honestly with a nod. “Amazing as always. You did so well.”
“You think so?” Yoichi perked up, eyes sparkling at his words. “I wasn’t sure since some of the choreography got changed last minute.”
“I couldn’t tell.” Rin replied, feeling his expression soften as Yoichi watched him with earnest eyes.
‘Cute.’
“You danced and sang like a seasoned professional.” Rin continued, wanting to see Yoichi even happier. “I couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”
Yoichi beamed, a blush appearing on his cheeks. “W-Well, me too! I mean, as much as I could. I had hoped that you got my messages while you were watching.”
Rin blinked. “What messages?”
“Oh, you know…” Yoichi winked then blew a kiss just like he was on stage. “Like that.”
Rin blinked again, his brain slowly processing what he meant before he felt his cheeks burn. “Y-You…that was for me?”
“Who else would it be for?” Yoichi retorted with a small pout.
“The fans…”
“Aren’t you my fan too?” Yoichi asked, eyes looking at his itabag. Rin suddenly felt self-conscious.
“Yeah…”
Yoichi smiled. He reached out for Rin’s hands, holding them gently. It was just the tip of their fingers but the heat travelled all around his body.
“You’re not just any fan though.” Yoichi explained, gaze soft. “You’re special.”
“O-Oh.”
Rin couldn’t find any words to reply with. He had never dreamed of such a scenario, of getting VIP passes to see and talk to Yoichi in the dressing room, getting called special by him of all people. At one point, Rin was just a normal fan, enjoying watching him perform, hoping to just get some signed memorabilia one day for his collection. But now…
He was special.
“Come on.” Yoichi began, tugging at his fingers. “Let’s head back to your place?”
Rin nodded dumbly, watching as Yoichi grabbed a backpack, a hat, mask, and sunglasses and made his way out with Rin.
There were still workers cleaning up. Yoichi bid them farewell as they left but became silent once they were out from backstage. Rin also didn’t say anything, careful not to blow Yoichi’s cover in case there were some rabid fans (that were not him) or paparazzi. A taxi had already been prepared for them outside and as soon as they sat in it, giving Rin’s address, Yoichi relaxed, his head falling on his shoulder, almost as if he was going to sleep.
There were no real plans when they got to Rin’s apartment except ordering pizza and watching TV. By the time they got there, it was almost nine so Rin got Sae to collect the delivery and they were presented with food on the dining room table already.
“Hey, Rin. Can I shower first?” Yoichi asked as he wiped his face with a handkerchief. “The humidity is killing me after the concert.”
“Yeah, sure.” Rin replied with a nod. “Let me grab you a towel.”
He headed to the linen closet and took out a new towel for Yoichi. Yoichi was already in the washroom, rummaging through his backpack before giving a small groan. He turned to Rin with a sheepish smile.
“Sorry, can you lend me some clothes? I seemed to have forgotten to bring my pajamas with me.” Yoichi explained, his voice strangely quiet and airy.
Rin exhaled.
“Okay.” His brain short-circuited, realizing that Yoichi was to wear his clothes again. Rin turned and headed to his room while he ran through his entire wardrobe in his head, wondering what would be best. Should he go with the same clothes as last time? But they were too loose on Yoichi and he nearly died of a nosebleed last time so he should get something more fitted. But Rin was taller and broader than him so that was impossible! He didn’t have any clothes that would work like that.
After staring at the closet lined with Yoichi clothes hangers for what seemed like forever, he finally decided on what to give him, knowing that no matter what happened, he was resigned to his fate of dying from blood loss.
He quickly handed the clothes to Yoichi, not looking at him, afraid that he was showing too much skin to Rin. He promptly headed back to the living room and sat down, turning on the TV to calm himself down. The news was dull and normal enough that he was able to do so, concentrating on reports of upcoming summer festivals. He wondered if Yoichi had gotten a chance to go to one yet. There were some pretty famous ones with amazing fireworks; Rin would love to go with him to see it together.
Actually, Rin just wanted to see Yoichi’s expression when he saw them. He didn’t care about the fireworks at all.
Yoichi eventually came out and Rin quickly looked away, seeing the way that his shirt’s collar slipped off Yoichi’s shoulder. He didn’t remember the collar being that wide since it fit him fine. Yoichi was thin but Rin didn’t think he was that thin.
“Are you hungry?” Rin asked. He had brought the pizza to the coffee table with some plates and soda. Yoichi nodded vigorously, practically jumping on the couch next to Rin. “Help yourself.”
“You didn’t eat yet?” Yoichi inquired when he opened the pizza box to see it untouched. “You didn’t have to wait for me!”
“But I wanted to.”
“You really didn’t have to.” Yoichi mumbled. He leaned into Rin after taking a slice and ate quietly.
They were silent as they ate, watching TV in the meanwhile. Rin had switched to a drama instead since he knew Yoichi enjoyed those. He wasn’t sure of which one they were watching or even the storyline, but Yoichi seemed intrigued by it, which was the most important thing.
At one point, Yoichi had stopped eating. He had placed his plate down and continued to lean on Rin, hand somehow landing and staying on his thigh. Rin didn’t notice it at first until he felt Yoichi’s fingers make small circles on it.
He didn’t say anything because he couldn’t. Did he tell Yoichi he was doing that unconsciously? But it’s not like Rin didn’t like it…but what if Yoichi wasn’t doing it on purpose?! Would he be embarrassed once he realized it?!
“Yoichi…” Rin’s voice cracked a little as he spoke his name. “Your hand…”
“Hmm?” Yoichi looked up at him, gaze sharpening. “What about it?”
With his gaze like that and hand on his thigh, his body leaning against his and his scent overwhelming him, Rin thought he was going to explode. “Could…you remove it?”
Yoichi stopped rubbing his thigh. He removed his hand from Rin’s thigh at the same time, moving so he wouldn’t be leaning on him anymore.
They finished up the pizza and Rin just put the plates in the sink for now, feeling too exhausted to deal with them. It was a good kind of exhausted though, having a full day of just focusing on Yoichi’s concert and now, he was back at home with Yoichi ready to sleepover.
Of course, that was a problem in itself.
They entered Rin’s bedroom, and even though Yoichi had already been there already, Rin felt shame with all the merch he had of him decorating the room. Yoichi would have to sleep in Rin’s room with his face all over. Rin should’ve at least moved some of it away or changed the bed sheets but he had forgotten when he had to rush out that morning.
However, he did notice something a little strange in his room. He knew every nook and cranny of every item there except for a random box that was now on his bed. It was small and almost blended it with the black of Yoichi’s hair so he almost didn’t notice it. Rin walked over to his bed and grabbed it, wondering if he had forgotten to put it away before he left this morning before reading the label.
His face turned red though he wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or anger.
“Rin, what’s wrong—”
Rin tried to quickly hide it but it was too late. Yoichi’s eyes widened, already spotting the box, and seemingly recognizing what it was. He gasped.
“Are those…”
Immediately, Yoichi’s face turned red. He looked up at Rin imploringly but Rin just shook his head.
“It’s…it’s just a prank by my brother.” He explained rapidly, already making his way out the door. “Let me yell at him. Be right back.”
Rin closed the door behind him and then turned to the other door next to his. He banged on it angrily but didn’t wait for his brother to answer. He opened it and saw him lying on his bed with his laptop in his lap and headphones on.
Sae slowly turned to Rin, blinking in confusion. He pulled down his headphones while his expression remained neutral.
“What’s up?”
“‘What’s up’?” Rin stomped over. “ ‘What’s up’? You know ‘what’s up’, you useless shitty brother! Why would you give me… these?!”
“Well, I figured you guys might want to use them.” Sae answered without a shred of malice, which made Rin angrier. “Better to be safe than sorry.”
“You…” Rin was just so incredulous at how Sae was taking this in stride. “We’re not like that!”
“Are you two not dating?”
“W-Well, I guess…”
“Have you not made out yet?”
“None of your business!”
“Haven’t you guys gotten…” Sae coughed awkwardly. “...frisky?”
“Oh for fuck’s sake.”
“The next step is obvious.” Sae said as he pointed at the box in Rin’s hands. “I just want to make sure my brother is doing things right. Look, they’re even strawberry flavoured—”
“I don’t need them!” Rin yelled as he threw the box at Sae. He didn’t even see if his brother caught it or not, turning and slamming the door shut behind him.
Muffled behind the door, he could hear his brother, “Just want you to be safe!”
Rin exhaled heavily, trying to calm himself down before he had to face Yoichi again. It was already enough that Yoichi was sleeping over and staying in his bed. Rin already felt like he was going to explode with him so close to him; even the thought of a mere kiss was enough to make his mind go crazy. Anything beyond that…
He would die. He would definitely die.
He finally felt calm enough to return to his room. When he did, Yoichi was just sitting on his bed, looking around.
Having him sitting there was just a mere dream. A year ago, Rin would never have imagined his favourite idol near him, let alone sitting in his room, about to share a bed with him. However, Yoichi turned to him, eyes brightening when he returned. He reached up with his arms, a smile on his face.
“Rin!” Yoichi called out. His cheeks were still flushed but he hid any kinds of nerves well.
Rin walked towards him and Yoichi pulled him down, holding him by the neck in an embrace. Rin just sank to his knees and hugged his waist, smelling the familiar shampoo mixed with Yoichi’s natural scent.
“So, um…” Yoichi began, pulling back, his cheeks suddenly a deeper colour. “Your brother is home, right?”
Rin nodded.
Yoichi smiled awkwardly. “That’s fine then. We can just do other things then.”
Rin furrowed his eyebrows. It was getting late so the only other thing they had to do was fall asleep. Rin still had to take a shower but Yoichi had an incredibly long day. He must be completely drained of all his energy.
“You can go to sleep first.” Rin said as he stood up, ready to grab his pajamas and take a shower. “You had a long day.”
“I…I don’t want to go to sleep first…” Yoichi said, a small plea in his voice. “You…you didn’t collect all your benefits from the VIP pass!”
Rin was puzzled at the sudden change in topic. For the VIP pass, he got an amazing seat for the concert, some exclusive merch and got to see Yoichi backstage. What other benefits were there?
Before he could ask, Yoichi pulled him down on the bed. Rin’s body gave out easily, tired from the day but it didn’t mean he wasn’t confused at Yoichi’s actions. He sat up at the same time Yoichi sat down.
In his lap.
“Here,” Yoichi was looking down shyly, face as red as a tomato. “Your VIP seat.”
“I…” Rin was baffled. “What are you doing?”
Yoichi stared at him. He blinked slowly once, then twice, before he keeled over, placing his head on Rin’s shoulder. He was shaking, an incredulous laugh coming out of his lips.
“You’re so…” Yoichi looked up, eyes shining but a pout on his face, “…oblivious!”
Yoichi leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. Rin blinked in surprise before returning it, placing his hand tentatively on Yoichi’s cheek. Yoichi took this moment to deepen the kiss, forcing Rin back on the bed.
Yoichi stopped the kiss then gazed at Rin. At one point, Rin’s hands had landed on Yoichi’s thighs as he sat on top of him, looking at Rin expectantly.
“Hey, Rin.” Yoichi leaned forward, rubbing his nose against Rin’s cheek affectionately. His voice was low and somewhat…dangerous. “You said I’m special, right?”
Rin merely nodded. He could feel Yoichi’s breath on his cheek as he spoke to him and the urge to kiss him bubbled inside him.
“You’re special to me too.” Yoichi started rubbing his chest. “You’re…”
There was a pause.
Rin could feel him smile against his cheek.
“You’re my favourite.”
Rin was his favourite? Just like how Yoichi was his favourite? But Yoichi was an idol so it was obvious that he could be a favourite. But Rin was just…a normal guy. He couldn’t be anybody’s favourite.
“What?”
Yoichi sighed. He looked at Rin straight in the eyes before leaning forward and kissing him again.
Rin could never reject his kiss.
It was so warm and sweet but had a certain edge to it when Yoichi placed his tongue in his mouth. Rin matched him as much as he could but he knew he was fumbling so he had no idea how he could possibly be Yoichi’s favourite. He couldn’t be his favourite kiss with how clumsy he was at it.
Rin sighed in satisfaction when Yoichi released him from his kiss. He wanted more but he could see that Yoichi was concentrating very hard.
“You. Are.” Yoichi kissed him on the face after every word. “My. Favourite. You. Dumbass.”
He could go without the insult there.
But it was from Yoichi, so it was fine.
“You’ve always been mine.” Rin replied, reaching for Yoichi’s face again, kissing him softly on the cheek, then on his forehead then back to his lips for a light peck. When he opened his eyes, he could see Yoichi gazing at him softly. “Always.”
Rin had always loved how he sang; he loved how he danced; he loved how hard he worked to shine under the bright lights and loved how he genuinely seemed pleased to interact with fans.
He also loved how much he pouted; the shine in his eyes when he smiled, the tender looks he had only for Rin. He loved how he touched him with such gentleness and passion at the same time and loved how alive he was, always a beacon of light for Rin, ever since he first laid eyes on him.
Isagi Yoichi was truly his favourite.
And now, Rin was his in return.