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Peter rubbed his tired eyes, he had stayed up late patrolling and his first period class was on Boring Lecture mode. He tried to pay attention, he really did, but the 50 something Mr. Honaker was the most monotone person he had ever met.
The other students apparently agreed with him, because there was whispered conversations going on in the back of the room that he could just make out.
"Did you see the video? He's, like, a waaaaaay better singer than I thought he would be! His dancing is really bad, though!" A stereotypical popular girl said, blowing bubblegum and passing around an iPhone. The group of girls had headphones, so Peter couldn't hear what the video was or who was singing, and he didn't really care all that much, until-
"Yeah, I knew Spider-man was a total badass, but it's almost, like, unfair that he's a good singer, too!" Giggled one of the girls.
Peter froze, the sleep chased away by sudden, all consuming terror. 'You've got to be fucking kidding me...' He thought at the universe, quickly pulling out his phone and opening the YouTube app.
'I swear to god if this is what I think it is I'm going to bash my head through a brick wall-' Peter thought furiously, and began typing in 'Spider-man singing' and sure as the sun, there were over a hundred hits.
'Spider-man singing,' 'BREAKING NEWS: Spider-man can sing?!,' the whole shebang.
Peter felt like his life was over. With a sinking heart, he clutched on to his last hope that maybe it's just a really good cosplayer-
Aunt May had always told him he had a really good singing voice. He never wanted to go into the entertainment business, but it made him happy that she liked his voice. She alway said his voice was soothing, but a little rough, the GOOD kind (whatever that meant), like honey on an apple. She always made weird comparisons, but he didn't mind. He liked that about his Aunt May.
So when he heard his 'soothing, rough' voice singing Frank Sinatra, his face flamed with embarrassment. 'How did I not notice someone recording me? What the hell, spidey sense?! I feel betrayed by my own powers.'
In the video, he was webbing up an unconscious would-be robber, and he was singing. And dancing. God, he was a disgrace to his family, friends, cows-not that he had any but they would be ashamed if he did-and vigilantes everywhere. 'Sorry, Daredevil.'
The bubblegum girl was right- he was a horrible dancer. In his defense, the part of town he was in was pretty deserted, and he did not expect anyone to witness his flailing arms and belting vocals.
He wished the ground would swallow him up for all eternity.
Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to watch through the rest of the video in case they caught him unmasking (this was completely irrational because he had unmasked in his house that night, but Peter was crazed right now). He grimaced through the rest of the lyrics and the shaking camera saw him swinging away before the video ended.
He just hoped he could find some way to get this taken down before the Avengers saw it, or he was going to fucking d i e.
Aunt May was not as oblivious as Peter thought she was. She had suspected for a while now, but after watching the Spider-man singing video, she knew. No one else had her baby's voice. That was Peter.
She only felt a little bad for laughing at his dorky dance moves, even though she had seen these same moves when she walked in on him dancing in the living room. Peter, to put it mildly, did not have a talent for dancing. But he danced all the time. It made her heart warm, seeing him be a goofy kid, knowing that he will go back to fighting dangerous criminals in a few short hours.
She was proud of him, her dorky Spider-man.
Tony Stark didn't know the identity of Spider-man, but if he really wanted to know, he could find out. The vigilante helped them out sometimes, and he was funny and just a good friend to have around. He was a little-by that he meant a lot-awkward, but he made up for it with enthusiasm.
So when he heard about the Spider-man singing video, he expected off-key pop songs sung with Spidey's snarky voice.
He was incredibly surprised when he actually watched the video.
First of all, holy shit. Spidey was really good. Tony ignored the awful dance moves (for the moment) and looked at the comments.
Almost every comment, besides the trolls, were positive. People were shocked of course, who could expect that New York's favorite wall crawler had a good set of pipes?
He practically sprinted to the main living room to show the other Avengers.
Steve was in the kitchen, using the microwave to heat up some leftover pasta from last night. The new microwave wasn't a hard piece of technology to figure out, not like smart phones. He heard Tony run into the kitchen, probably excited over some sciencey thing Steve didn't understand and didn't care to.
Clint, Bruce, and Thor were in the living room, trying to decide if Hawkeye and Thor should get cooler costumes. Bruce was mainly trying to watch TV, occasionally muttering an opinion. Natasha watched from the corner of the room, looking amused at their childish antics.
"Hey, Avengers! You know Spidey-boy, right? Well turns out theres another secret he's been keeping from us other than his identity- he can fucking sing!" He said loudly, drawing all the Avengers into the room. Bruce muted the TV, a bit sad at not being able to watch his show anymore.
Clint laughed mockingly, obviously not believing Tony. "Seriously? Okay, Tony, sure-"
"No, I'm not lying! Just- here- watching the video and see for yourself." Tony handed a Stark pad he got from the coffee table to Clint and pulled up the video.
He pulled it up to show on a glass panel, so everyone could watch it. JARVIS dimmed the lights.
The video started off with Spider-man just starting to web up the criminal. The recorder must've been trying to just get him doing that, and it looked like he was about to stop the video when Spidey started to sing, but Tony couldn't hear anything yet with the camera's sucky microphone. With a startled breath, he brought the camera back up to continue recording.
Spidey was almost done with tying the guy up, and was waving his hips and making weird arm flailing motions. Clint snickered a bit, until his laugh was abruptly cut off when the Avengers (minus Tony) heard the glorious sound of Spider-man.
"My friend, I'll say it clear, I'll state my case, of which I'm certain..." The second lyric was picked up, and everyone in the room was speechless. Even Spidey's funky dance moves couldn't deter from the performance. He continued the song, and when he got to the last lyrics, Tony was pretty sure that Thor was crying.
"For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels; And not the words of one who kneels. The record shows I took the blows- And did it my way!" Spider-man ended with a dramatic pose, before thanking his imaginary audience and swinging away.
The room was in silence for a moment, the ones who hadn't seem the video (read: everyone except Tony) completely baffled.
"I will never let him forget this." Clint says, before bursting into laughter. All at once, they start overloading Tony with questions.
"Since when could he sing?"
"Wow, that was much better than I was expecting, I-"
"The Man of Spiders is quite talented, I was not expecting this! Man of Iron, you should invite the talented young hero to come perform for us!" Thor, the loudest, informed Tony.
"Settle down, jeez guys. Okay, the next time we see him, you can ask your question then. Got it?" Tony addressed the trained soldiers and assassins like a preschool teacher talking to an unruly class. They nodded eagerly.
"Poor Spidey. I hope he escapes the next time we see him. I almost pity the guy."
Peter was almost considering not going to meet up with Avengers and go on a super-important-can't-miss mission.
Almost.
It's been three weeks since the video was posted. News channels, newspapers, gossip blogs- everywhere you can get news, Spider-man singing his heart out is a major headline.
He wanted to die.
The Avengers, badass-world-saving-Hitler-punching Avengers, saw him wiggle his hips to a Frank Sinatra song.
He faced palmed himself for the hundredth time that day, thinking about miracles like what if they somehow managed to not see the video? That could happen...right?
NOPE.
He arrived at the Stark tower, crawling up the side of the building until he got to the Avengers living room and knocked on the window.
Several excited faces swivel around to stare at him, and he gives a little self-conscious wave before signally for them to unlock the window.
Once unlocked, he swings it open and lands right in the middle of an Avenger circle.
He has a feeling this will not end well for him.
"SPIDEY!! Since when could sing, and why the hell didn't you tell us? Your bestest friends in the whole wide world?" Clint asks, getting in Spider-man's face and invading his personal bubble.
"Uh well I've always been an okay singer I guess-"
Tony interrupts abruptly, gasping like he's personally offended. "'Okay'? No, no, no, no, no. You're amazing! The greatest! Why are you doing lame super hero work when you could be a snooty famous singer?"
Peter groans, and face palms again. He thought he could get away from this.
Sighing, he says,"Tony, you're a super hero. And, uh, thanks I guess."
"You are wasting your magnificent talent, young hero!" Thor says, looking at Spider-man with furrowed eyebrows.
Blushing, he mumbles an incoherent thank you before clearing his throat.
"So, uh, whats the super important mission?"
The Avengers stop and give him a confused look. Natasha asks, "What mission?"
Peter pulls out his phone and shows them the text about the mission.
"Peter...we didn't send that message." Natasha says cautiously.
"Then who did?"
Peter stops, and turns to look at the guilty looking Tony, who just gives him a 'look at my funny shenanigans' shrug.
"What the hell, Tony!" Steve says, giving his patented Disapproving Glare. Tony shrinks under its power before explaining himself.
"W-well, Spider-man was taking forever for us to catch up with him, so I called him to us. Simple, right?"
"You're so impatient, Tony. Sorry about that Spider-man. We won't bring up your fabulous talent again-" Steve started, but was cut off by shouts of protests from the other Avengers. He raised a hand to silence them, and sighed through his nose.
"No. Let's just leave him alone, okay guys?" The rest of the team grudgingly agreed, before roaming off the go do their own thing.
Peter was extremely embarrassed, and gave an awkward salute before swinging through the window towards home.
A few weeks later, Peter was back in the Avengers tower in Tony's lab. The tools he had to fix his web shooters at home were broken, so he had called Tony and asked if he could borrow some of his.
Tony said yes, but only after begging Spider-man to let him tinker with the web shooters. After getting rejected (again-he asks every time Peter comes over), he told Spidey to just come through the window because he was in his private lab working on something.
Peter was tired, like he was 90% of the time, but that didn't make him want to pass out from exhaustion any less. Earlier this morning, he had been watching The Hunchback of Notre Dame, the Disney musical, and had the iconic song "Out There" stuck in his head.
When he looks back on it now, he should have seen it coming.
When Peter concentrates, he tends to not notice the things around him, unless his Spidey-sense warns him of danger. A nosey billionaire was annoying, but not dangerous.
Tony had just wanted to watch Spider-man working on his web shooters, but then he heard him start to quietly sing. Yes! He pulled out his phone excitedly and started recording.
"The world is cruel, the world is wicked. It's I alone whom you can trust in this whole city. I am your only friend..." Spider's voice floated throughout the lab, luckily this time he wasn't dancing, just swaying back and forth.
Tony texted the other Avengers to 'get to the lab RIGHT NOW' and sat on the ground with his eyes closed, just listening and enjoying the song while it lasted.
Steve showed up, looking ready for a fight, and opened his mouth to ask Tony what the problem was before he heard it.
Surprised, he leaned closer, attempting to get into a better spot to listen to Spidey better. He looked over at Tony and mouthed "Does he know we're here?" Tony shook his head, and thats when the other Avengers showed up. He lifted a finger to his mouth in a shushing gesture, and the team sat on the ground next to the doorway of the lab.
"...Who freely walk about there. Just one day and then I swear I'll be content with my share. Won't resent, won't despair, old and bent, I won't care. I'll have spent one day out there." Peter finished the song off strongly, holding up his finished web shooter.
"Finally! That took longer then I expected, but-" Peter's monologue was cut off by clapping and cheering. He turned around, confused, before seeing the Avengers standing behind him.
"Damn, Spidey! I wish you sang for us more often!" Clint told him.
Peter was pretty sure his face was going to burn off from embarrassment, and he dashed over to the opened window, trying to make a quick getaway when two hands lifted him up from his armpits like he was a toddler.
"Why do you run, young spider? We simply wish you would share your gift with us!" Thor bellowed, still holding up Spidey.
Peter felt the last of his dignity crumple into dust, just like his hopes and dreams...
"Will you please put him down, Thor?" Steve reprimanded Thor like a small child stealing other children's toys. Once Spider-man was firmly on the ground again, he leaped through the window and webbed himself away into the night, planning on avoiding the Avengers for the rest of his life if he could help it.
He somehow managed to avoid them for about 2 weeks before the city was in trouble. Again. Why was it always New York? In every movie it was always NYC that was about to be blown up, or was being attacked by giant aliens or something.
Spider-man got to the Avenger's tower, and quickly saw what the problem was.
Huge, green, slimy cartoon ghost looking things with strangely large ears that were spitting acidic fluid and generally causing chaos. Can't I ever get a break?
He saw Ironman and the Hawkeye shooting explosives at one of them;there were 3, and the rest of the Avengers were trying to figure out a way to destroy these things without blowing up the city, suffocating on it's slime, or burning to death from it's acid.
"Hey, guys! Need some help?" Spider-man called out. The green ghost things froze and all turned in unison to stare at him. What the fuck?
"Ingingsay pidersay!" One garbled, even though Peter couldn't see a mouth. Wait...was that pig latin? He quickly thought back to 5th grade, trading notes with his best friend Harry, and writing in pig latin 'cause they were 'super spies.' Singing...spider?
FUCK MY LIFE.
The other Avengers paused, turning to look at Spidey eerily similar to how the green blobs had moments before.
"No. Who creates giant blobs for the purpose of getting me to sing? What the fuck!? Evil scientists are really running out of ideas if this was the best they could come up with."
Captain America sighed, coming over to rest a hand on his shoulder.
"Son, the fate of the world rests on you singing to those blob ghosts."
"No it doesn't! What the hell, I thought we were cool?" Peter asked, feeling betrayed.
"Please, son. These things are regenerating too fast for the explosives to do any real damage, and who knows, they might leave after you get done serenading them. Or it could distract them long enough that we could evacuate the people still trapped in these buildings." Peter instantly felt bad. Even though he really did not want to sing to green blob monsters, if they could save people while he was singing to them then it was worth it.
Giving Captain America a stiff nod, he walked towards the blobs, trying to ignore the feeling of walking to his demise.
"HEY I have a song request! Can you sing that cheesy Elvis song? Hearing you sing that is definitely on my bucket list." Hawkeye suddenly yelled out.
"What? No! I'm not singing a love song to green ghost monsters, Clint!" Peter yelled.
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssseeeeeeeeeeeee-"
"Oh my god, fine! Just shut the hell up and I'll sing your Elvis song, goddamnit." Peter snapped, losing his patience. Hawkeye whooped in victory, before turning around and shooting another explosive arrow.
Taking a deep breath to chase away his nerves (it didn't work), he climbed up on the top of a bus.
"Hey! Look at me, green blob things! Singing spider!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, shooting small blasts of web at the blobs. The webs immediately slipped off, but they certainly caught their attention. They slowly slithered (eww) over, stopping in front of him. Oddly enough, they looked like they were patiently waiting for him to start, which gave him the heeby-jeebies.
Clearing his throat, he wiped his sweaty hands on his suit before realizing he had his gloves on.
"O-okay, um, I guess I'll just start..." He stammered, trying to muster up enough courage.
Breathing in and out, he closed his eyes and tried to pretend that he was in his bedroom instead of singing for 3 blob monsters.
"Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you. Shall I stay would it be a sin if I can't help falling in love with you..." He nervously swung his arms back and forth, but his voice was clear and strong.
The world faded away, and all that was left was Peter's voice.
The Avenger's had gestured to the people inside the buildings to come outside, and they were all scrambling down the sidewalk when he started to sing. Now, it was as if everyone was in a trance, even the blob monsters, just listening to Spider-man's voice.
"Like a river flows surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things are meant to be..." The blob monsters, strangely enough, were melting into the street, like an ice cream cone on a hot summer's day. The citizens and the Avenger's hardly noticed, too busy listening.
"Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you. For I can't help falling in love with you." When Spider-man was done, the blob ghost monsters were completely dissolved, the only thing left was a sticky feeling when you walked on the sidewalk. Thunderous applause filled the streets, wolf whistles and screams of joy.
Peter had thought the citizens would be too busy, I don't know, running for their lives in terror, and didn't notice them until he was done singing.
He thought the embarrassment of having the Avengers hear him would be bad, but this was 1 million times worse. He was almost concerned for his health, thats how hot his face was.
"Good job, Spidey! Good things dozens of people got that on video, because that was amazing!" Ironman said, flying down to greet him.
"Please never talk about this again, okay? Today never happened, got it?" Peter threatened, trying to sound intimidating, but it was hard when your voice cracked from humiliation. He quickly webbed away, oblivious to the hundreds of new fans he was about to gain overnight from all the videos being uploaded to YouTube.
THE END
sorry Peter