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It’s been weeks since they’ve had any news about Derek or the Alpha pack. They haven’t tried to attack any of them like they’ve been doing for the last two months and Stiles needs to know what the hell is going on. So he does the only possible thing he could do to get answers about the supernatural: he goes to Derek’s loft.
Since school started again, or better, since the Alpha pack started targeting Scott’s pack, they’ve all become some sort of Fighters against Evil Alphas. Well, they’ve been trying to hold their own against them because there’s not much a couple of teenage betas, Crazy Uncle Peter, Derek and he can do. Joining force with the remaining Argents and Lydia didn’t do any good either, but at least thanks to them, they found Erica and Boyd, although they didn’t succeed in bringing them back, so back to the starting point.
This is why the sudden lack of daily threats to the different members of the pack is making feel Stiles uneasy.
He knocks on Derek’s door and isn’t surprised when Peter opens the door, he does live there after all.
-Welcome Stiles, I was hoping you’d come around sooner rather than later. - He lets him in gesturing the coach.
-Why? – He asks sitting down, concern in his voice.-It’s something wrong?
-It depends how you look at It.-He says disappearing upstairs.-But looking how fond of my nephew you’ve become lately, I’m afraid so.
When he comes down, he is holding an envelope with his name written on Derek’s neat handwriting.
-He left this for you when he went with them; he said it’d be better to explain everything to you, rather than Scott.
-What do you mean? He went with whom?
-Just read it. – Peter says, so he does. He opens the envelope to see a letter, which with no doubt, Derek has written and starts reading.
Stiles,
I’m leaving, well, I’ve already left, and before you put the letter down and start hating me, let me explain, and apologize.
I’m sorry. I really am and I know I won’t be able to say it enough, but I wish I could. I’m sorry for leaving you, for having to give you up. I’d rather stay there with you if it didn’t mean your immediate death. That’s what the alphas threatened me with, and I know you will understand because you’d do anything to protect the people you love. This summer has been the first time I’ve felt something that resembles happiness since the fire and it’s thanks to you. You’ve been good for me and I want to repay you. My departure means that the alphas will never come back, and that Scott is the alpha now, just like he always wanted. It’s the least I can do for you both. You’ve suffered too much and it’s my fault.
I know I shouldn’t ask for any favor, but please make Scott claim the betas, they are all still too young and reckless but Scott has a good heart and he’ll be a good leader. I won’t ask you to make sure they are safe because I know you will.
Peter should leave you alone, he knows I’ll come back for him if he hurts any of you and this time, I’ll kill him properly.
You must be thinking by now that I’m an asshole, that I should have stayed there and help you defeat the alphas but this is my last chance to make sure you live your life, that you have a future that it’s not tied to a man like me. Because I wouldn’t have let you go, I’ve become so attached that you leaving me would have driven me crazy. That’s why I’m doing this, to save your life and the lives of all the people you love. To let you choose and to let you live.
I’m sorry for how everything turned out but they didn’t give me a choice, it was me or you and I couldn’t do it. You are so young and so bright and I cannot drag you to this anymore. I know you’ll hate me for this but I don’t regret it, I care too much about you.
One last thing, never blame yourself for any of this, you’ve done your best and you’ll be safe now. I know you’ll find someone you deserve and be happy. Please don’t let me interfere in your life anymore.
I’m sorry.
Derek.
The letter falls from his hand as he finishes, not being able to process the words that he’s just read. He can’t believe what the self scarifying jerk he has as alpha has done, it’s not possible. There are tears on his eyes and an explosive mix of feeling in his chest. It’s pain at the loss, rage, fear, abandonment and so much more he can’t deal with them anymore. He cannot breathe, he cannot speak, he can only sit there crying, begging for Derek to come back.