Work Text:
warm, orange light filled the room from the corner of his desk. on it, lay a few copies of scripts from a few different plays, each of varying levels of quality. some had tears here and there, others an assortment of dog-eared pages, and one titled "Parade to heaven" with a suspicious amount of folds and seams.
the star himself, however, was nowhere in that space. he stood in front of the stairs, lights from the first level all turned off, leaving him in darkness. the curtains blocked the moon's reflections from shining through.
tick, tock.
the clock hanging on the wall progressed through the night, as he hoped he would too with his acting. his heard pounded, over and over again. he breathed in and out slowly, slowly raising his arms up to his chest.
push them. push them off.
it's so simple, why can't you just do it?
it's for your own good!
sakaki would be disappointed. your troupemates will too.
time seemed to stretch in that moment, his hands seemingly remaining stagnant in the air. sweat trickled down his forehead, down his neck, and wet his sweater.
he looked down at the lowest step. blood trickling out of all their mouths, their bodies limp on the floor, unmoving. his mum's hair, drenched with strands stuck to her face, his dad, arms splayed out across the floor, wrist twisted at an ungodly angle.
and saki, her lips pursed together into a thin, fine line. she was meant to be smiling like the sun itself, not like that. none of them were meant to look like that!
but, they brought this upon themselves, didn't they? forgetting about their son, their brother-
just like amelia did with William.
focus on the feeling. lock in onto it.
-surely, even being pushed off the stairs wouldn't hurt as much as being forgotten.
surely, it was fine to kill her, just as long as he could stay in her memories forever.
but…
his vision was blurring again, its edges growing darker by the second. the disfigured bodies on the floor mushed into odd shades of colours, he couldn't tell them apart anymore. tiny spots danced around, his ears were ringing for the fifth time that week. did the walls always look this distorted?
the eyes of those he didn't know stared back at him, unblinking, terrifying.
he peered his head down at his hands. they were dyed in a sharp crimson red, a thick layer gradually sliding off of them onto the floor. some stayed stuck in the creases of his nails.
“Um…who are you?”
don’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetmedon’tforgetme–
(sorry. for letting everyone down.)
a chill ran down his spine. he mustered up the little strength remaining in him, and ran down the stairs, skipping a few steps and frantically running down the rest, eyes still wide open and red rimmed. the floorboards creaked each time he pressed a little too hard against them.
nearly falling flat on the floor, he made it down that flight. the cold, wooden surface felt hard on his knees, feeling like splinters throughout his nerves.
the ringing faded away, his sight was starting to clear up again. his heart finally stilled for the first time in that hour, as he glanced up at the clock above him, to where he stood earlier. he shuddered as he remembered the scene.
the clock read...7:15am? no wait, it was 3:35. messing up again.
he gingerly walked back up the stairs, holding on for me dear life onto the metal railings, not wanting to cause anymore noise or inconvenience to his neighbours than he'd already done. it was lucky his parents were away on some overnight shift, and saki was staying overnight at one of her bandmate's houses.
(they left him.)
it was still a school day in the morning, and seeing it was so late...it was probably better to just call it a night. after all, a world future star couldn't be sleeping or falling behind in classes, could he? neither could he be late.
he peeked out of the small seam in the curtains. the stars were still hanging up in the sky, so at least he still had some time to sleep before school started. he sauntered back into his room, lying down flat on his back on his bed with a squeak. turning over a tad bit, he reached out for his phone to check the time once more before he slept.
[ Notifications ]
Message From: THE MOST AMAZING DIRECTOR EVER ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ` 2h
> hey tsukasa, r u doing okay? i noticed you were spacing out a lot during practice just now, and saying some words under your breath. if you need anything, please talk to me. we love you, ok?
> Don't worry, Rui, I'm alright, please don't worry about me!!! I'm going to sleep now, goodnight!
he texted, smiling for a quick selfie, before relaxing his face muscles again and switching off his phone.
and so he buried himself under the sheets again, waiting for the cycle to repeat. he'd do it again the next night, probably.
it's all to get better. it's all so
they don't forget you. to be an unforgettable actor.
right?