Chapter Text
hello everyone, idk if anyone will read this but I'm just posting my draft so it doesn't get lost! I'll update it when I can, but this is indeed Tom x tord!!
"hello all" an oddly distinguished man appeared in the TV, infront of tord as he slouched on the couch"my name is [redacted] and I'm one of the top bakers in the region and I come to you all with an amazing and unforgettable discount." tord grunted in unamusement, he hated stupid commercials that tried to connect to the audience. he hated being a consumer; so he shuffled towards the remote- "a beautiful one time deal of only 3,000 pounds!" then tord immediately whipped his head back towards the television, his invisible dog ears perked up, why so expensive? he thought to himself. then he realized how stupid it sounded and grabbed the remote again to shut it off but- "with our overly qualified team of bakers around the world.." yea right tord thunk to himself.. "only using household items for the market, we are able to make your tastebuds tingle with our magic touch! It wouldn't even taste like a normal cake a friend of a family member made; it'll feel special, and different.." there was an almost sensual pause between the famous baker and tord, for whatever reason. "now, lets look at our reviews! we have approximately 670 5 star reviews for new customers to look at, because we know some things are too good to be true!" "heh.. he said the thing.." tord leaned back from his slouching position, not even caring about turning off the channel at this point, but then he had a little thought. wait, I could do that. the dumbest thing a man could ever think, that he could do professional work on his own with absolutely no experience needed. but tord isn't that stupid, "I'll ring up edd" he muttered to himself as he finally switched off the channel with he remote in his hands, and gently put said remote down. he got up, he stretched, and he thought for a moment. if I do this with edd, he'll just try to make things borin as hell, but if he rung up Tom, he'll probably be pissed out his mind, like he always is, and the cake would come out more dodgy, which isn't necessarily a good thing, but it'll keep tord entertained.
tord sat at the table now, his arms where on the table and his hands where crossed. dialing Tom, it took a few missed called like always, the Tom finally answered with a completely knackered voice;
Tom; "fuck do you want wank?"
tord; "aye aye, calm down, I have something for us to do today" his voice seething with sarcasm
Tom; "I don't give a flying fuck"
tord; "don't be like that Tom, I know you're skint right now" tord fiddled with his hair, he liked talking to Tom, actively bothering him. he liked the attention, he's a little attention whore, and he loved it.
Tom; "don't fucking play me, bloody pagan. fuck do you need from me" he wasnt raising his voice but you could hear the hatred he had towards tord in the words he spoke.
tord; "by God Tom. stop with the street talk, I just called to tell you that I have a business idea"
tom; "where the bloody hell is edd so he can babysit you and you're stupid fucking ideas" Tom exhaled, trying to stay calm. he know tord was actively trying to get a reaction out of him.
tord; "I have no clue, but I called you, you're my first choice, because you know I love youu" tord exaggerated the last words, I think we both know why.
tom; "what the fuck is your business idea. tell me before I drop the bloody phone"