Chapter Text
It was in moments like these that Sua wondered if life was even worth living, in moments in which time slows down, and has no intention of going back to normal.
“Ughh…”
To make the evening a little less painful, she rested her neck against the comfy but ancient looking sofa. It’s not like it was old or dusty: it just looked rather monumental, big, and of a unique shade of brown.
Despite all of that, she could not care less about how the sofa looked — if it could be sat on, that was enough. In fact, Sua had landed on the convenient seat the moment her eyes spotted it. Seconds before, she had been standing uncomfortably the whole time, ever since she got to the party.
She thanked herself for not pulling out those heels she’d wear once every blue moon, which translates to the special occasions she attended, which weren’t many, as one could imagine. At the end of the day, that could not be considered a real special occasion anyway, and her outfit proved just that.
Saying no to white shirts was just something too out of character for her, and that evening she was wearing one of them under her wool vest. Those as well were something she wore quite often, if not every day (not considering summer days of course– she wasn’t a masochist), and for that reason she sorted one that could be considered a tiny bit more formal. It had a few white pearls on it, a more elegant pattern that resembled some sort of flowers, and in general it looked more…sophisticated, or at least that’s how she would have described it. Of course, she ditched her usual tie and headband, opting for little bows instead, one for her neck, and one as a hairpin. Summing up, her outfit was pretty different than the ones she used for class.
Exactly, the others attending the party were all her classmates, and other people from all over the college. The name of the host kept being forgotten by her overwhelmed brain, already too full of Biology definitions, and Physics formulas. Not like knowing that really mattered – again, anyone was there, so it’s not like there was a specific reason why she was invited as well. She just wondered how the host even managed to send physical invitations to all those people, and, more importantly, how those people even fit in a single house.
She had to admit, it was a pretty nice place after all, rather big, and that would have explained the host’s economic state, and the idea of inviting about one hundred and half people there. An idea that could only belong to one with little to no sanity— but those with enough money seemed to have replaced their brain with a piggy bank anyway.
The furniture was nicely selected as well, and evidently that couch was Sua’s favourite part of the house — of the entire party, actually.
What had bothered her the most wasn’t even the invite, but the cancelled plan with her friend to discuss their soon-to-be book club: the organization behind it, the class the professors would let them borrow from 4 to 5 p.m. every Thursday, and a whole bunch of other bureaucratic bummers they had to endure to make the club come to life. Really, really boring, but if that meant to kill some time…
And guess what? Her friend did not show up!
“What?! You can’t be serious…” Sua had told her just the other day through call, while she was in the middle of an English essay.
“I’m sorry, I am…” She heard a nervous chuckle from the girl on the other side, “But I really must go there with my parents…It’s our canary’s forth month, and we have to celebrate!”
“Yeah, sure, I can imagine…” No. She could not. Like, at all. She had never owned any pets, so she felt like she hadn’t the right to say anything about it. Still…
“Does that mean you’ll leave me alone?” — Okay, no, she did not actually say that to her classmate, and yet at the idea of going to a party, not talking to anybody, probably eating store-bought, stale bakery goods, and low-quality fizzy drinks, she could not be any more frustrated.
“So, I am actually left alone…” Sua thought to herself, her eyes staring at the deep-brown ceiling, the same colour as most of the interior of the house.
Thinking about it, it’s not like she was disappointed in the fact that the girl did not show up: sure, they were always too busy to arrange a quick chat of “business”, but they would soon find another chance. She couldn’t care less about her not being there, sitting on the couch with her: she wouldn’t even really consider that girl her friend anyway.
Yes — that was pretty rude to say about a person, but it was the truth: after more than two years of absolutely breaking her back in every way possible, she could confirm that she still had zero friends. Up to a certain point, it did not matter that much anymore: as long as her space was not disturbed, she could survive. After all, she only had some sort of formal relationship with that one girl. Outside the talks for the club, it was as if they hardly knew each other.
That’s when she, for the first time ever in months, if not years, of college life, felt a pair of eyes on her. Yes! Right on her! Call it sixth sense, but Sua felt a weird sensation all of sudden that made her soon wary of her surroundings.
Her head would turn left to right, but everything seemed ordinary: many couples chatting in every corner, drinks in hand, as well as laughter coming from all over the place, as if the music wasn’t deafening enough.
She thought Biology and its damn countless terms was finally driving her to the verge of madness, when her own eyes spotted the ones that were looking at her all along, and oh, she felt stupid the moment she realized she had never properly witnessed the beauty of those irises she got the chance to look at almost every day.
Mizi’s.
Exactly, she was looking right! That one pink-haired girl, popular between boys and girls, known for her looks, and charming yet cheerful personality was looking at her!
For context, she is your typical girl that everyone loves, and everyone would stare at you concerned if you said that you had an odd feeling about her, as if you had just sworn out loud in public.
Mizi, the girl everyone loved, and for some indescribable reason, Sua never felt much about her, so she could be saved by the concerned looks at least. Yet again, that girl, with whom she has never really talked in any class they had in common, was looking at her, Sua.
“What…?”
She couldn’t figure it out, especially when Mizi was still eyeing her, taking her sweet time even after Sua noticed, as if she was inspecting her from head to toe.
It was only when she eventually realized the dark-haired girl had caught her that her irises grew wide, and in no time, she was looking away, facing her usual group of friends you’d see her always with. They were chatting carelessly, and Mizi had the audacity to act like she had never stopped listening to her friend Trevonn, nodding her head while drinking that disgusting punch from her red plastic cup.
“Hold up, I forgot Kim-ssi has this huge mini-cars collection!” The same guy that had been talking until then suddenly had a spark in his eyes after adjusting his short, brown locks, messy as they could ever be. “You guys gotta see ‘em! They’re upstairs, in his room!”
“You sure he won’t be mad at us for getting into his room?” Another girl of the group wondered, one with flawless black curls that fell beautifully down her bare back that her dress showed just right.
“Nahh, I went in there earlier, and he didn’t care!”
“Ughh…These heels are killing me! I don’t wanna go upstairs…” Yet another girl protested; her hair was pulled up in a tight, and high ponytail, because all people in the “popular guys” friend group had their own way of expressing themselves, even through their hairstyle.
And Mizi…she was no exception.
Sua watched her as those stunning, long hair with a unique shade of blue at its tips swayed smoothly across the room, following her group with a tiny giggle.
“Tell me about it! I’m sure I’ll throw my own heels away as soon as I get home if they continue tormenting me!” She said sarcastically, but not after stealing a final glance at Sua, still with that confusing bored stare.
In just a couple of seconds, that air of a bunch of expensive perfumes left the living room, and everyone there suddenly realized how good actual oxygen was.
Well, at least now she remembered that ‘Kim’ was the name of the host, after listening to their conversation.
...
And yet, what a nerve.
What had struck Sua the most was the way Mizi was checking her out, if one could say she was: her eyes were heavy lidded, as if she was uninterested in what her eyes had landed on.
Unable to describe the conflicting emotions her heart experienced in the time lapse of twenty seconds maximum, she had clutched the fabric close to her chest. She could imagine herself being quite red from the embarrassing yet quiet exchange.
Just what was happening to her, though? Why was she so flustered? What could that girl possibly want from her to look at her so…Was there even an adverb that could fit her confusion?!
The panic was short-lived though, as her back soon found its way back onto the couch. Whatever, she was acting childish for such a thing that would soon be forgotten, if not after twenty minutes already. Still, a question still lingered in her poor mind…
“Why would she look at me?”
Sua would have said the morning after the party had been pretty normal, although she felt tired for coming home late. Here they were the same lectures, the same warnings and suggestions by their teachers as well as the usual pile of assignment they got.
A pretty normal routine day, like always.
That, if it wasn’t for the:
“So, umh, I was wondering! Would it be cool if we, like, got ice cream together…?”