Chapter Text
Ya know what’s funny? I never thought I’d be opening up this much. Especially to you. You wanna know what I am? Where I came from? Why I couldn’t let you win? Why I didn’t wanna kill you?
Alright… Alright. I’ll tell ya.
It started on a Tuesday of all things. I was singing a song on the radio.
“And I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day. I couldn’t-“
I remember the mug had slipped from my hand, yet in the blink of an eye, it was back. So much for my singing career. I felt heat around my eyes as they glowed yellow. Only Cory was in the room. Thank goodness.
That was the man who mentored me. Raised me in the church while mother was out on business. Cory was a scrawny middle-aged priest with spectacles and a collar that seemed too stiff for his tired face. He always knew about my powers.
Cory saw it in my first week at the church. It scared him. It scared me too. Since then, he suggested to mom- sorry, mother- that I stay and learn from him. Saved her from hiring a babysitter. He taught me alot. Finance, how to cook, clean, shave. The basics. The other things I could do I had to teach myself. Away from him and everyone else of course. I was careful not to let other people see it. Or get affected by it.
Least now I had someone to ask for help instead of texting my mother. ‘You have to be a self reliant man of God’ she’d tell me. In other words: Google it. Not like God himself was gonna come down and tell me how to unclog a drain from the sink. That’d be something.
Oh Google is this website you can search for anything you want to be answered. Sorry… I got off track. Anyway…
I quickly placed the mug in the cupboard as it fragmented like a computer glitch. It would clear itself out eventually. Just needed a few seconds. Blinking rapidly gets my eyes back to normal. The heat also dies out. My eyes are the usual dull brown you see now. I kinda wished I didn’t have to hide it from everyone. I’m sure they’d understand, I thought naively.
“Sorry, Father…” I said meekly as I finished stacking the rest of the plates on the countertop. I just finished washing them after the church luncheon. It was a rather large gathering. I tried to breathe, but couldn’t. I was scared Father was gonna scold me.
“Hold it, remember?” Cory’s face was kind, but I saw the way he tensed up when he looked at me.
“Yes sir.” Deep breath in, through the nose. Hold, count to four. Exhale out, count to four. Out through the mouth.
“You have to be more careful,” Cory said.
I was being careful! Ugh. Whatever. I didn’t try to argue with him. What was the point? I bowed my head, like I always did. “I will…”
Cory’s attention turned away from me. He took an aluminum tray from an old woman. I didn’t recognize her. “We’ll be down in a moment…. We’re almost done.” He closed the door. His sigh echoed through the kitchen as he threw the tray away. “Do you need a moment?”
I took a few deep breaths as I went to the nearby mirror to adjust this stuffy outfit I was wearing. “I’m ok. I’ll meet with her while you set up. I know, I know, I can’t do confessions yet… I’m just sitting with her.”
I hated wearing it…
“Just gently remind her.” Cory said as he opened his palms towards me. I could feel my eyes roll to the back of my head. I groaned when he does this. Made me feel like I was ten again. I wasn’t a kid anymore. Yet… it still made me feel safe. Dunno why. Still felt awkward.
“You have my permission.” I said in a robotic tone.
Cory cupped my face in his hands, our eyes met. “I’m proud of you. Always have. Always will be. No matter what you are. Remember: They. Can’t. Know. Understand?”
“But-”
It felt right. Like I was myself.
“Understand?” Cory’s voice was firm.
I sighed. “Yes sir…” It was a mantra drilled into me since it happened. He’s scared the town’s gonna lynch me if they knew. How right he was.
“Look at me.” Cory said.
I obeyed.
“God loves you. I love you.”
“Does mom…?” I never asked that question before. Did she still love me? We barely saw each other anymore. I missed her. I missed having a mom.
Cory looked away. “She does. She’s… just been busy.” Mother- her name is Anna by the way- lobbied a bunch in Washington DC. Buncha meetings. I couldn’t blame him for being afraid of her. Mother was… something. I could almost smell the citrus she wore. Even that was enough to cause a room to go silent.
“Too busy for me…”
Work was more important than her own son apparently. ‘What am I thinking? She’s working to make sure I have a good roof over my head. I gotta be my own man, remember?’ I thought. Tried so dang hard to justify it. Can’t believe how much of an idiot I was thinking that.
“Clover…”
I shook my head as I broke Cory’s palms away from my face. I didn’t need to think about that at the time. I had more important things to worry about. I stormed past him. “I… need to go. She’s waiting.”
“Remember to-”
“I know. I know. Inhale, count to four, exhale, count to four. I’ll be fine.” I waved my hand dismissively and yanked the door open. I heard it a thousand times already, I knew what I was doing. I was just taking her to the chapel, nothing too serious.
Voices echoed from the stairway. I wasn’t fond of crowds. I lowered my hat and covered my face, off to do my duty.
Brian, Wesley, Sallie, Richard- familiar faces I recognized blurred past me beneath the fellowship hall’s lights. They were people I sat with before confessional. Yet many other people came in that I didn’t know. Greenvale was pretty much a nothing town in the middle of the Nevada desert. No tourist destination, no main highway connected to it. But new people came anyway. A lot of people. Not one of them paid me any mind. That was fine by me. I’m used to being alone.
A woman in a white summer gown sat near the far wall away from everyone. Her long auburn hair was disheveled around her face as she cradled her stomach. She clutched a cross and rosary beads with trembling fingers. That must be her.
The look she gave reminded me of when Sallie first came to confessional. She just blurted out that she had a miscarriage. Without warning. Cory wasn’t too thrilled about that. Actually he wasn’t too thrilled that I kept letting her talk. What was I gonna do? Just let her cry her eyes out as I just kept telling her ‘Wait for Father Cory to come in’? That sounded dumb, even back then.
I approached her gently.
“Mrs. Hanley?” I said softly. “My name is Clover. Father Cory told me you needed to see him for confession?”
The woman jumped, like she woke up from a nightmare. “Umm… yes. I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting someone so-”
“Young. I get that a lot. Did you want something to drink?”
“Can we go now?” Mrs. Hanley said, her hands shook as she rose from her seat. How rude.
I bit my lower lip. “Of-of course. This way.”
I led her past the guests. Down through a small hallway that connected to the side of the church. While we walked, I looked outside to distract myself from her rudeness. It was beautiful outside, always loved the view of the mountain. Ebott we called it. It wasn’t too big, not enough to even get a proper name on Google.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t get your first name Mrs. Hanley.” I said as I wanted to break the ice.
“Oh, Olivia.” she answered.
“Nice to meet you, Olivia. Have you been to confession before?”
“Yes, a few times before coming here.” Olivia’s fingers gently rubbed the rosary.
I had to keep her talking to keep her calm.
“Where did you live before?” I said.
“Dallas.”
“How are you liking Greenvale?”
Olivia gave me a soft chuckle. “It’s so dull here!”
I grinned. Yeah, the town I lived in was pretty boring. Not even a dang Wal-Mart out here. That’s a… big department store. Most of the shops were locally owned and operated anyways. Felt like a town straight from the 30s but modernized. Everyone knew everyone there. Made it feel like a tight knit community. One I wasn’t a part of.
“Tell me about it. Video games help pass the time.”
“My husband’s a big fan of, what was that one?” Olivia looked at the ground. “It's the one where you die over and over again…”
“Could be Elden Ring or Dark Souls.” I said.
“Elden Ring! That was it! Have you beat it?”
“Yeah, and the DLC too.” Holy crap was Radahn a rough fight! Took me forever to beat him! I screamed so loud after doing it I scared the youth group meeting upstairs.
“I’m sure your friends must be very impressed.” Olivia said.
“They are,” I lied. I didn’t have any friends. Even that youth group I scared didn’t care that I won. They just wanted to go back to their studies in peace. Mr Bradberry told me to keep it down. I still thought it was one heck of a feat.
The grand cathedral opened up as we entered. Everything was freshly renovated. I could still smell the scent of pine from the cleaning supplies I used to get the place spotless. Even scrubbed the altar from top to bottom. It kept my mind occupied. Made me feel of service.
I gestured to the left towards a few wooden doors. It was a small chapel beside the confessional booths. There were a few candles around the Virgin Mary statue. I had just lit them before lunch.
“Please, have a seat. Did… you want me to wait with you?” I said. I didn’t mind sitting with someone. If it made them feel better, then I did exactly what I wanted.
Olivia quickly stepped into the chapel. “Yes please… I don’t wanna be alone right now.”
I nodded and followed her in. The room felt like a second home to me, outside the one in the basement. Sometimes I’d sneak in there just to relax. I gave a silent nod to the Virgin Mary out of respect. Olivia’s fingers tightened around the rosary as I sat beside her.
“Father will be here soon,” I said gently. Olivia’s attention was fixed on the statue.
“Lord give me strength. James…” she whispered. Eyes shut. Hands clasped in prayer.
“James?” I was curious. Who was James? Her brother? Husband? Cousin?
“My son. I sent him back.” she said.
“Back?” To the… hospital? Her husband?
“To Hell.”
I didn’t know what to say. She confessed to murder! I spoke fast. “Mrs-Mrs. Hanley, you don’t have to-”
“I killed him. James, our beautiful boy, he was… a mutant. I had to. God wanted him… gone.” Olivia clutched the beads tighter. Tears ruined her makeup.
I forgot how to breathe. Never heard someone confess to murder before. I thought it could’ve been an accident she blamed herself for. So… I let her keep talking.
“We’ve been trying for years to have a child. And for Him to deliver that… monster! He had to die. God demanded it. To test my faith in Him! It’s what the Lord wanted, wasn’t it? Like Abraham had done?”
That wasn’t how the story goes!
The chapel door opened, interrupting Olivia. I panicked as my eyes flashed yellow. I broke up into fragments and reappeared further away from her in an instant.
Cory filled the doorway of the chapel. “Mrs. Hanley. Are you ready?”
Olivia turned to the priest as she got up to shake his hand. “Yes Father Cory. Thank you so much.”
“Of course.” Cory returned the handshake.
Olivia turned to where I was. She quickly glanced around the room in confusion. Her face turned to me with dread as she stared into my eyes. “You were… How did you-”
Dill pickle…
“You’re shaken, Mrs. Hanley.” Cory stepped in front of her, his frame shielded me from her sight. He gestured to the door. “The confessional booth we’ll be using is the first one on the left.”
I blinked SUPER rapidly until the yellow haze faded. I couldn’t look at any one of them. My hat couldn’t lower any further.
“Of- of course, Father.” There was a slight pause before I heard her footsteps fade away from the chapel.
Cory waited until her footsteps disappeared. Only then did he close the chapel doors. The loud clank of wood reverberated in the room. He faced me. His normal warmth was replaced with something worse than anger. Fear.
“Go to your room. Now.” Cory instructed firmly.
“Father, I didn’t-“
“Clover Winters. Your room. Now.”
I screwed up. Pretty bad. “Yes Father…”
Cory stepped back and gave me room to leave. I shouldn’t have been in the room. I shouldn’t have sat with her. If I hadn’t have stayed, none of this would’ve happened. But then again, none of THIS would’ve happened either.
I hesitated.
“Clover. I won’t tell you again. Don’t leave your room until I say so, understand?” He said.
Without saying another word, I quickly made my way behind the altar. I moved down the hallway and into my room once more.
I messed up… I messed up so bad.