Chapter Text
Lelouch clenched his fist around the queen in his hand, rewatching the knighting ceremony with a scowl. Frustration wouldn't even begin to cover the feelings he was experiencing. Not only was Suzaku the one to keep getting in the way of all his plans, but now Lelouch knew he definitely could not bring Suzaku over to his side, due to his new role as Euphemia's knight. That last fact left a bitter taste in his mouth.
*Suzaku. You were supposed to be Nunnally's knight, and now you've been entrenched even more in the hands of Britannia.* Lelouch thought, “And not only did you betray us - no, you didn't betray us… If I had spoken up earlier, then maybe you wouldn't have gone with her.*
Lelouch's thoughts left such a sour expression on his face that C.C. couldn't help but speak up, breaking him out of his thoughts.
“What's so complicated? Just use your Geass on Kururugi.” The green-haired witch said with a bored expression on her face, her hair splayed over the couch as she was lying on her side.
Lelouch's frown deepened. He did consider using it on Suzaku, but using it on someone he considers a friend…no more than a friend if he were to account for his true feelings. To take away his free will…He couldn't do it.
“Drop it.”
“So stubborn, why not? Because he's your friend? Or is it pride?”
Lelouch turned to her, a surprised look on his face, wondering if she had read his mind somehow. His eyes narrowed, and he turned away before answering her question.
“All of it.”
The witch turned on her back, arms coming to rest under her head.
“You might have to kill him otherwise-”
Lelouch's eyes narrowed before he cut her off.
“No!”
C.C. remained unimpressed, still lazing around on the couch.
“Then what do you plan to do? He already rejected you once, and now he's actively getting in the way.”
“Don't you think I know that!” Lelouch slammed the queen back down on the board, making the other pieces fall over. “I just need some time to think. Suzaku…he's a problem, but nothing the Black Knights can't handle. Now that I know it's Suzaku, I can handle him better! I can-”
C.C. turned away from Lelouch, growing tired of Lelouch’s spiel and closing her eyes. He'll probably think of a hundred different plans and narrow them down by the time she wakes up.
Lelouch narrowed 381 plans down to 203 by the time he realized C.C. had fallen asleep.
“Tsk. As expected, you were just using me as white noise.” Lelouch turned his back on her, refocusing his energy on his computer, typing furiously to gather any bit of intel he could gather on Suzaku. Most of the public information is on his new position as Euphemia's knight. His mood worsened the more he looked through it.
“This isn't anything substantial. I need more personal information.” Lelouch thought back to the past. The most recent memory that stood out to him was Mao. Not only did the scumbag try to turn Shirley against him, but he also kidnapped Nunnally and exposed Suzaku’s secret, which left him in shambles, driving a deeper wedge between them. If he had tried harder back then to reach Suzaku, then maybe…
An idea flashed across Lelouch's mind, narrowing his plans down to 83. He started typing again, this time with direction. All soldiers were supposed to be mentally fit for active duty, and if Lelouch was right, then Suzaku should have received some form of mental health evaluation after Narita. The events of that day played in his mind. Suzaku lost control after C.C. overwhelmed his mind and caused him to make the Lancelot go berserk. If he was right then…
The clicking of the keys stilled as Lelouch's smile grew; he had successfully found what he was looking for.
All the health records on Suzaku.
Better yet, the security was so poor that all personal information about Suzaku was soon accessible at the press of a button. Lelouch knew that Suzaku being an honorary Britannian meant that he got a separate file from the standard Britannians. For once, he was quite happy that Britannia was so bigoted, as it made his next plan so much easier to accomplish. He clicked through file after file; truthfully, there wasn't too much to go off of, the records so poorly kept, especially the older ones.
“Found you.” Lelouch's eyes lit up when he finally saw it. “Suzaku Kururugi is scheduled to meet with Dr. Rebecca Jones every two weeks for a mandatory mental health evaluation.”
Lelouch checked the date; Suzaku was scheduled to go see Dr. Jones in three days. Perfect, just enough time for Lelouch to set up what he needs to do. He closed the computer and got up to start making preparations immediately. The door opening and closing woke up the green-haired woman on the couch. She blinked the sleep out of her eyes.
“I guess he narrowed his plan down to less than 50.” Yawning, she got up and headed to the cafeteria, hoping they had pizza for today's dinner.
(Clinic)
“Suzaku Kururugi!” The nurse called for him, and he was up immediately upon hearing his name, managing to suppress the urge to salute. He made his way to the door where the nurse stood and then promptly led down the hallway into the room that he's become familiar with over the past few months.
Walking into the room, he made his way over to the leather couch with too many decorative pillows before he took a seat. He was told that Dr. Jones would be with him shortly. Suzaku scanned the room, his eyes landing on the self-help books that lined the bookshelf across from him before redirecting to gaze out the window. It was much more interesting than anything in that room, even if the view was just another building across the street.
There was a knock on the door, and Dr. Jones walked in.
“Good morning, Kururugi.”
“Dr. Jones, good morning.” Suzaku gave a small smile to her as she made her way over to her own leather chair and took a seat, pulling out a tablet and preparing to write for today's session.
“Before we start, I heard the good news. Congratulations on becoming Princess Euphemia's knight. The knighting ceremony was wonderful, and I'm so glad you decided to stay with our little clinic.”
“Ah, thank you, it's honestly hard to believe she asked me to be her knight.” Suzaku scratched the back of his head, a bashful expression on his face.
“Oh, and do you feel like you don't belong in that position?”
“Is this…a personal question or a professional?”
“It's a good segue into a professional question. Please,” she leaned back into her chair, readying her pen, “Tell me why you think you're unfit to be her knight.”
Suzaku was quiet for a moment, collecting his thoughts.
“I just- It feels like a dream. I never expected to be in this position but Princess Euphemia.” He smiled as he thought about how they first met. “I think she wanted to help the Elevens regardless, and for some reason, maybe she thought that having one as her knight would help repair the relations between Britannians and Elevens. I don't think it necessarily needed to be me, though, but at the same time, I found it hard to decline. Not only was this a direct request from a princess, but his opportunity is one I've been waiting for ever since…”
Suzaku trailed off, not wanting to continue his statement.
“Ah, yes, ever since the death of your father.”
Suzaku's head dropped, he couldn't make eye contact, and started to twiddle his thumbs. It was always a sore subject for him.
“Kururugi, I think you should give your accomplishments more credit. You have done quite a lot as an honorary Britannian. You should take pride in that. I'm sure your father would be proud.”
“How can I when I'm just-” Suzaku whispered under his breath, so quiet that not even he could hear it himself. He shook his head.
“Thanks, but I don't want to continue this line of discussion.”
“Very well. But would you consider this new technique?” The therapist pulled out a pocket watch from her blazer, holding the watch by the long chain at the top.
Suzaku tilted his head in confusion.
“What's the watch for?”
“I wanted to try hypnosis in this session. I think it will help you come to terms with your qualms about being Princess Euphemia's knight.”
“Ah? Okay.” Suzaku was skeptical at best, but still followed the instructions that were given.
“Before we start, tell me, is there something you find soothing to look at? It can be anything, just something that when you imagine it, it brings peace to your mind.”
“Ummmmm…” Suzaku thought back to things that made him calm. A variety of things popped up in his mind, like animals, food, and places, but that didn't quite feel right. A slight blush rose to his cheeks when his next thought was Lelouch, but he couldn't use him like that. But maybe something from their childhood together…
“Sunflowers.” Suzaku thought of that summer he spent with Lelouch, the fields of sunflowers reminding him of the time they spent together. Truly, the last time he could have been happy, something he couldn't allow himself to be anymore.
“Very well, let's get started then.”
Per her instructions, he lay down on the couch and started to follow the watch with his eyes. Dr. Jones told him that hypnosis would help him relax more during their future sessions and that he should be calmer when discussing his trauma. Yet, Suzaku didn't quite believe it but still went along with the suggestion, even briefly thinking about switching to a new doctor.
Regardless, his eyes still followed the watch, vaguely listening to the words she was saying. This went on for so long until he did start to feel his eyelids getting heavy, but whether from the hypnosis taking hold or from how tired he was while lying down, he didn't know.
“Hey, Dr. Jones, how long is this going to be? I don't think it's working and I-”
“Sunflowers.”
Suzaku's body went limp, and he fell asleep instantly.
“Kururugi, wake up. I have some questions for you.”
Suzaku came to slowly, eyes glazed over as he waited for the next line of questioning.
A red ring glowed around Dr. Jones' eyes as she pulled out the questions that were given to her by that Britannian student.
“Now, Kururugi, about your father-”
(Ashford Club House)
It's late afternoon when the email comes in about Suzaku’s session for the day. All the questions Lelouch wrote down were answered with no problems. A wide smile graced the raven's face. He wouldn't use his Geass on Suzaku, but with all this information available, he was sure to figure out something to convince him.
“Now I just need to set up an opportunity to get him alone and especially away from Euphemia.” Lelouch kept reading, feeling like he knew Suzaku even better now. He kept scanning the document, only to pause halfway through when he got to the section about the methods used.
Lelouch's expression softened reading the word Suzaku chose for his hypnosis trigger.
“Sunflowers. How cute.”
(Shikine Island)
Suzaku had fallen right into his trap, the Genjun Disturbers powering down the Lancelot. With Suzaku this far away from any backup, he could finally have his chance to convince him to join. Zero had joined Suzaku in the sand, gun pointed towards the lone pilot as Zero gave his proposal.
“I'll get straight to the point, Suzaku Kururugi. I want you to join me.”
“Is that a threat?” Suzaku walked up to Zero, with no hesitation, even with the gun pointed towards him. “Well, you can forget it. I already told you results gained through contemptible means are worthless to me.”
“So you wouldn't describe the peace we have now as worthless?”
Suzaku paused. Lelouch continued.
“If Japan had resisted to its very last breath seven years ago. What do you think would have happened?”
Suzaku grimaced, his mind flashing back to his father's words before he was the one who-
“The Chinese and the E.U. would have stepped in and split Japan into three. They'd be fighting even now. Our current peace is the result of Japan's immediate and unconditional surrender.”
Suzaku couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was Zero telling him that his father's death was necessary? He didn't have all the details; he didn't know that Genbu Kururugi wasn't the one who ordered the surrender of Japan and its people.
“That's right, and I've been fighting to preserve my father's peace ever since it began.”
“You're wrong. Prime Minister Kururugi, elected by the people, didn't choose to surrender. That decision was selfishly made by his killer.”
Suzaku's eyes widened, his breathing stopped momentarily, listening to Zero's words. *There’s no way he knows, right? Zero, of all people, has no way of knowing.*
“With the government thrown into chaos, surrender became the only logical choice. The will of the people was stolen from them by a lone criminal pursuing his own selfish agenda!”
“H-how on earth do you know that?”
“There's only one way for you to atone now.”
“Huh?”
“Present the Japanese people with a choice they weren't able to make then. The path they were robbed of seven years ago…Fighting Britannia.”
“Fighting them? That again?”
“It's an option worth exploring, or would you rather drive the masses towards a future dictated by your own egotism? You call that peace?”
Suzaku just stared at him, conflicted until he got a radio message. Thinking he had Suzaku right where he wanted him, Lelouch allowed him to take the call.
Zero had soon come to regret that, as soon as he heard that they were launching missiles with Suzaku still there and with orders to keep him there as well when they hit.
*They're giving him up to die?*
Lelouch soon found himself disarmed with his own gun pointed to his neck and his arm twisted harshly around his back.
“Kururugi, what're you…?!”
“I can't approve of your methods! All I can do right now is this!” Suzaku started to inch his way towards Lancelot. The Black Knights made no move to gun him down, as that meant their leader would either be caught in the crossfire or shot by Suzaku himself. Suzaku threw Zero into the cockpit on the Lancelot, gun pointed at him, and using his body to block the exit. He had him trapped.
“You're going to die here as well! You don't have a problem with that?!”
Suzaku didn't answer the terrorist, instead listening to the call coming through the Lancelot.
“Your sacrifice isn't in vain, Major! We're about to put an end to the most dangerous criminal our homeland has ever known. They'll speak of your bravery for generations to come!”
“Shut up!” Zero slammed his hand down on the console, trying to disconnect the call.
Gunfire filled the air, as well as the sounds of explosives, as they launched the missiles. Amidst the sounds of battle, Suzaku swears he could hear the voice of his classmate, but he can't focus on that now. Not while he has Zero right where he needs to be.
“A soldier must always follow his orders!”
“Heh, certainly easier than following your own heart! How do you feel about this?!”
“You're wrong, I have rules that I made and need to live by!”
A dark shadow covered the sky, Suzaku looking up to see….A floating vessel?!?! The hatch opened, and cannons could be seen charging up. Still, Suzaku didn't falter. This could be his only chance to redeem himself for his sins. If only he had gotten to see Lelouch and Nunnally one last time. They would understand, right?
“Damn it, Suzaku! Do something! You're going to die!”
“Better that than breaking the rules!”
“You stubborn fool!”
Zero's mask slid open to reveal his eye, so much adrenaline pumping through his veins that he forgot his previous reservations about using Geass on Suzaku.
“LIVE!”