Work Text:
Note: Takes place when the turtles are teens
POV, Mikey
I woke up with a huge headache one day, and wondered if I would ever recover. Somehow, after the most recent events, I felt a calmness, which was humbling and edifying all at once. I remembered the pains of last night-- yet it was like gazing through a dream. I remembered the damage, the havoc, the pizza flying everywhere-- yet I felt alright. I had slept it off. That was another turtle with an orange mask who had eaten too much pizza last night and then watched a thrilling episode of Crognard and gushed everywhere like a volcano spewing half-digested tomato sauce and cheesy pepperoni, it wasn’t me. I laughed at this stranger, pitying him, but feeling very far above him. Poor, witless, silly thing! Oh well, his mischief and sufferings were finally at an end. From this day forward, I was a new person. I would be the most integrity-filled turtle anywhere. I promised myself that nothing like this would ever happen again, and I felt confident in keeping my promise. I knew I could do it. The past was in the past; the dawn of a new day was here.
“Good morning guys!” I greeted cheerfully as I walked into the living room.
“Oh, hello, Mikey,” returned Leo without enthusiasm. “How did you sleep?”
“Probably pretty good,” muttered Raph darkly. “After all, Sensei did send him to bed to recover, leaving us to mop up the mess.”
“Yes,” agreed Donnie. “I bet he slept as comfortably as a kitten, having emptied himself of all his stomach contents beforehand.”
“Thanks for being concerned,” I beamed. “You guys are so kind. I do feel better, in fact. And now I’m a different person, I’m cured. The Mikey of before-- that was the old Mikey, meet the new Mikey. The past is in the past.”
“Even if the past was last night?” sniffed Donnie.
“Yes! There’s nothing that a good night of sleep can’t cure.”
“Even a lifetime of stupidity and indulgence?” asked Leo patronizingly.
I answered him with equal condescension. “Yes, Leonardo. Behold, the new Michelangelo!”
“You don’t look any different,” said Raph.
“Oh, Raphael, appearance isn’t everything. I’ll show you. Donatello, ask me a question, anything.”
“What is ribonucleic acid’s job in relation to DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid). And do you think ribonucleic acid can be called nature’s first camera, even proceeding the eye?”
I studied him carefully, before delivering a serene and truthful response. “I am unaware of the answer to that question, Donatello. But I would be happy to learn. And if you would be so kind as to deliver unto me the information, I assure you I will retain it.”
Donnie looked impressed. “That’s… actually a really mature response.”
Leo too looked impressed, but Raph was not convinced. “I bet you can’t focus. We’ll see how you do in training.”
Soon we were all assembled in the dojo, surveyed by Master Splinter. I sparred with Raph, and he did everything he could to distract me, yelling out everything from, “Unicorn!” to “Narwhale over there!” But I stayed focused, and even succeeded in beating him.
“Very good, Michelangelo,” praised Splinter. “You have done very well. Tell me, why are you so disciplined this morning?”
“I’ve decided to change my ways, Master Splinter,” I explained. “From now on, I’m going to become a more spiritually developed person, and I’m not going to let my passions control me.”
“Hmm, interesting. This is very good news.”
“Look, Mikey,” admitted Raph truthfully. “I owe you an apology. You’ve done really well. I’m… sorry I doubted you, little brother.”
“I’m sorry too,” agreed Donnie. “You really do seem to be a different person, Mikey.”
“I’m so glad you’ve finally found your center,” smiled Leo. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you all so much,” I nodded. “And let this be a lesson always. Never judge another by their past, because their future could be very different. If someone as wily as me can change my ways, who knows?” Then what I was saying started to become a soliloquy. “Who knows? Perhaps the minds of humans can be changed, and they will stop fighting in their gruesome wars or engaging in fruitless quarrels but instead walk together hand in hand, all with the same goals in mind? Then, perhaps communism will actually work? Or perhaps the Shredder will realize he’s been mistaken in continuing to seek revenge, and he’ll learn to seek the fruit of peace? Or perhaps even the Kraang will decide that seeking to enslave another world is not morally correct? Brothers, harken unto me! I have a dream, that creatures are not judged by the origins of their species, but by the content of their character! I have a dream that humans and Kraang have agreed to a mutual peace! I have a dream that the lowly, the downtrodden, and the oppressed will be raised up! No more hiding underground, for tomorrow, we rise! A new day is dawning-- a glorious day, a day to be remembered, one our grandchildren will never forget! For if Michaelangelo can change his ways, what can’t be accomplished? Let us together build castles in the air!”
Everyone gasped, as April came in. “Hey guys, what’s up? I brought some pizza from the new place downtown, and I brought some new Crognard tapes I found on Ebay, if anyone wants to give them a try.”
I looked up, and the beautiful fumes of the pizza and the enticement of Crognard beckoned me. If there even was a struggle, it lasted about negative two seconds. Soon I had devoured the whole box and plugged in the VCR, and was roaring in approval to another episode of Crognard. I was back.
“Looks like the castle in the air just fell back to earth,” sighed Leo.
“Indeed,” agreed Master Splinter. “That is what happens when you try to make a change all at once. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but if you try to do so, then you won’t make any improvement at all.”
THE END