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Hisoka wanted to tear Illumi apart.
He wanted to bite into Illumi until his porcelain skin broke and was tinted with blood and marks. He wanted to pull on his hair, force sounds and cries out of Illumi until he was nothing but a withering, shaky mess laid out on their bed.
Unfortunately for him, he didn’t think Illumi could handle love that rough. Unfortunately for him, Illumi’s parents had already scrambled his dear doll's brains around so much until he was left only half a person.
At times, Hisoka was only half sure that Illumi hadn’t been lobotomized. Really, it wasn’t too far-fetched to believe, and he could only imagine the horrors inflicted on Illumi in the Zoldyck mansion. He was aware of some it— the torture, the dungeons, the watchfull eyes of butlers. But, to his dismay, it seemed his lover never would paint the full picture.
Not that he needed to know. Whatever he wasn’t told, he could envision for himself.
Illumi was akin to an array of inanimate, fragile items.
A mother’s fine china. The kind locked in a vitrine, to be seen behind glass but not to be touched. Delicate, and beautiful.
The late spring white butterflies, the kind that fluttered around, small and only seconds away from death at all times.
Like delicate things, it was only nature that grabby, selfish hands reached out to touch and break. When Hisoka had first met Illumi, he was drawn to be the person to do so. He wanted to wrap his hands around Illumi’s neck, to touch the untouchable, and break him into pieces. To his displeasure, Hisoka had been many, many years too late. No, instead, Illumi had already been toyed with, broken beyond repair.
And Hisoka had no interest in playing with broken toys.
Instead, for once in his life, Hisoka felt compelled to be gentle, wanted to pick up the jagged pieces and glue them back together. His beautiful, precious Illumi was just so dangerous, yet so damaged.
Hisoka sat, perched upon the counter, as he waited for his lover to return home. Really, the hours Illumi worked were just distasteful.
If Hisoka could have his way, he’d drag Illumi far, far away from the leash his family held on him. He’d make sure none of them could lay their hands on his husband again. He may have moved Illumi far from Kukuroo Mountain, but that didn’t stop the nearly monthly visits and bombardment of his husband's phone. A new mission, a lecture about his sibling's distasteful behavior, complaints about Illumi's own behavior. Kikyo did always cry that Illumi had abandoned his family. Silva always degraded his love for his skills or intelligence. Which, never made sense to Hisoka. Illumi was dangerous, and talented in both nen and combat. Illumi may only have half a brain, may be slow to pick up on social cues and emotions, but his darling was far from stupid.
Really, if Hisoka could have his way, he would have killed Silva and Kikyo long ago. His siblings, too, they were ungrateful and horrible towards his beloved. Not a hint of empathy from any of them for the things Illumi went through. And, well, if he was already going at it, he’d take his sweet, slow, time torturing and burning his husband’s entire family to the ground.
However, he couldn’t do any of that without facing the wrath of his dear beloved. And, while the thought of Illumi’s bloodlust, especially aimed towards him, made him achingly hard, Hisoka wasn’t quite yet ready to die by his lover's hands.
And, besides, while Illumi wasn’t unloveable, no, Hisoka (very much so) loved him, he did have his doubts about if anyone else could do the same. Or, at least, he wasn’t sure if anyone else would be able to care for Illumi the way he needed. Illumi, while skilled in killing, was a fragile, precious little doll that required special treatment. And, as it seemed, no one besides Hisoka was able to provide that for his love. And Hisoka truly could not do that to such a beautiful thing.
Maybe a selfish thought, but Hisoka never claimed to be anything other than selfish. He, and only himself, wanted to love Illumi to death— he had no desire to make a widow out of his husband.
His attention was dragged towards the door opening. Well, really, he had felt Illumi’s aura since the moment he approached the building, but had been too lost in thought to mind the fact. His love was just horrible, rendering Hisoka into a mindless, gentle man that he had never been before.
He had decided to humor Illumi for once, leaving his hair down and his face plus body clear of his makeup and bungee-gum. While Hisoka enjoyed it, he knew Illumi much preferred him in this state— freckles on display, face blank and framed by strands of red hair.
A smile snuck onto Hisoka’s face as he approached Illumi, wrapping his arms around his waist, “I was thinking you’d never return, darling. Really, you work the worst hours.” He pouted, leaning his face into Illumi’s neck. Illumi never did wear perfume, said it wasn’t appropriate for his job, but he always did smell just so nice. Hints of blood, expected with his line of work, but with earthy undertones. He really hoped Illumi hadn’t been sleeping in the ground as of late.
Illumi didn’t reply. Often, it seemed, the poor thing just didn’t know how to conversate. Thankfully, Hisoka could talk more than enough for the both of them. And, as his husband, always knew how to draw words out of Illumi, even if his beloved did need time to think before speaking.
Truly, such a delicate, perfect toy.
Hisoka sighed, planting a kiss on Illumi’s nose, “Did you kill anyone interesting, love? Oh, do share the details.”
Illumi tilted his head to the side, placing a finger on his chin as he thought before shaking his head, “No. There was only one target. I didn’t want to make a mess, so I only used one needle towards his neck.” He paused, pursing his lips ever so slightly as he raised his finger in the air, “Oh. I did cut his finger off. The client asked for it to be mailed over.”
And, oh, Hisoka could already feel himself growing hard. Really, how could he not when his Illumi was discussing murder and making such cute faces. “That's wonderful, dear. Though, I do wish you would get more creative with your needles.”
Illumi nodded, he already knew that, “Yes. But that would not be efficient.”
Hisoka could only chuckle, running his hands along Illumi’s hips, “I love it when you talk dirty to me.”
One hand under his ass, the other resting on his lower back, Hisoka pulled Illumi up, letting his lover wrap his legs around his waist and arms around his neck. Illumi was tall, perhaps too tall to be carried in such a way, but that wouldn’t defer Hisoka from doing so. In this position, Hisoka’s face was pressed against Illumi’s neck, allowing him to lean forward and leave lovebites around his jugular. Licking at the sensitive skin, Hisoka then reached up in order to press his lips against Illumi’s face. His chin, the corner of his eye, the tip of his nose.
Illumi tilted his head down, connecting his lips with Hisoka’s. And, how could Hisoka refuse such a delicate creature of what he wanted?
He grinned into the kiss, licking at Illumi’s lips, urging him to let him into his mouth. Illumi didn’t need much else to convince him, parting his lips and groaning into the kiss as Hisoka licked into his mouth, exploring all he could reach.
Hisoka carried him into their bedroom, taking his time in placing Illumi down and then crawling over him. Laid out on their velvet sheets, Illumi’s long hair sprawled across and around him, he looked just as divine as always. Hisoka would have been lying if he said he wasn’t painfully hard— he had been hard since Illumi had arrived at home.
One hand brushing over Illumi’s cheek, the other running through his hair, Hisoka leaned forward, “Oh, my sweet, sweet darling. What I’d give to make you cry for me.”
“I do not cry.” Illumi was just as impassive as always. Truly a doll. Besides the groan he had offered earlier, his husband always was so devoid of emotion. It only urged Hisoka on further.
“Ah, of course. Silly me…” Hisoka wouldn’t dare admit that making Illumi cry was his only goal for the night, no, that would only make his love try harder not to. And he did not need that.
In the past, Illumi had little to no reaction to pain during sex besides completely shutting down, likely something he picked up on during his training. At first, Hisoka found himself disappointed. After all, he had wanted both of them to use their nen on each other, he wanted to pin Illumi down and tie him up, wanted Illumi to insert his pins into Hisoka’s skin— wanted them to both bleed for each other.
Even now, he wished for it. The act of their blood pooling against the bed, wounds leaking and rubbing into each other, having Illumi’s blood inside of him.
But, as he learned, that was not what Illumi needed. No, his dear had already been hurt enough, he didn’t know if it’d ever be possible for Illumi to find pleasure within it. But, as he had learned, Illumi was much more responsive to softer things.
It was a feat in itself that Illumi was even able to love Hisoka. And so, for such a beautiful thing, Hisoka would take and give what he could.
And, as he stripped Illumi of his shirt, unbuttoning and pulling it off, Hisoka found this to be more than enough. Starting at his neck, Hisoka pressed his lips to the skin, trailing down and taking his time until he reached his stomach.
Looking up towards Illumi, his lips still pressed to his groin area, Hisoka was met with large, blank eyes. He was sure that he could get lost in those eyes. He wanted to drown in the abyss that was Illumi. He also wanted to see those eyes widen and squeeze shut, wanted to see them wet with tears.
“Will you be good for me, baby?”
If anyone else was watching, they would have missed the way Illumi’s breath hitched in his throat, but Hisoka was not anyone else. He had long learned to be attentive and observant, searching for even the smallest reactions from his darling.
Illumi nodded, his hands reaching down to run through Hisoka’s hair.
“Ah, I need to hear you say it, darling. Use your words for me.”
Illumi opened his mouth, holding back a gasp. His words came out hushed, almost choked out. “Y-Yes.”
Hisoka pressed his lips back into the skin, gently nibbling at it, before pulling away and tilting his head, “Yes what?”
If Illumi was any lesser of a man, he would have whimpered, or perhaps let out a sound of protest, but he was no such thing. Instead, he focused on steadying his breathing, “Yes, I’ll be good.”
Hisoka, at that, could only smirk, catching onto the slight tone of embarrassment lingering in Illumi’s words. He reached his hand down, rubbing over the tent in Illumi’s pants. He looked up, catching the way his pupils seemed to dilate as Hisoka rubbed his cock, even through his pants. “Oh, you want more, don’t you? Don’t worry darling, I’ll take care of you.”
He reached for Illumi’s zipper, tugging it down. Wasting no more time, he grasped both hands onto his pants, underwear too, and began pulling them down. He gestured for Illumi to raise his hips, helping him to fully remove the rest of his clothing.
Hisoka got lost in the sight. Really, Illumi painted such a lewd portrait. He wasn’t sure how someone could not be attracted to his dear husband, he truly was a piece of art. Pale, soft skin, littered with scars but still perfect. Lean but muscular.
“Hisoka.”
That turned his attention back towards Illumi’s face, which was just as much of a masterpiece. His face was nearly unreadable, but he appeared to be dissatisfied with something, and that wouldn’t do. “Yes, my love?”
Illumi didn’t reply, only tugging at Hisoka’s shirt. And, oh, of course that’s what he wanted. While the thought of fucking a naked Illumi while still clothed himself was very appealing, he never could deny his darling of what he wanted. Hisoka was quick to remove his shirt, leaving kisses along Illumi’s thighs as an apology.
Hisoka wrapped a hand around the base of Illumi’s cock, slowly beginning to stroke him, rubbing his thumb against the tip as he did so.
He drowned in the gasp Illumi let out, nearly moaning himself when he felt Illumi thrust back up to speed up the pace before abruptly stopping himself. Now, that wouldn’t do.
He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his tip, staring up at Illumi to watch for any reactions he made. Illumi’s lips were pressed tightly shut, his eyes staring back down at Hisoka.
And, god, how Hisoka wished it was Illumi’s lips wrapped around his cock, those big eyes staring up at him, but that could wait for another night.
For now, however… Hisoka fully took Illumi into his mouth, groaning at the feeling of his cock pushing against the back of his mouth, his throat eventually swallowing around him.
Illumi, too, couldn’t hold back his own groan, his hands tightening in Hisoka’s hair, struggling to keep himself from thrusting into the heat. Illumi never was good at taking what he wanted. Thankfully, Hisoka would make sure he would.
He set a torturingly slow pace, his tongue swirling around his cock as his head moved from the base to the tip, taking his sweet time teasing Illumi.
After a few more moments of that, the pace never changing or increasing. Illumi, finally, made a noise of protest, his fingers digging into Hisoka’s scalp moving to push Hisoka down further, his hips bucking forward, almost fucking Hisoka’s mouth.
Hisoka himself couldn’t stop the smirk from building on his face, even if obstructed by Illumi in his mouth.
And, just as Illumi was growing closer, his thrust increasing, Hisoka pulled away with a pop, His hand moving to tighten around the base of Illumi’s cock.
And Illumi whined, back arching off of the bed, meeting Hisoka’s face with an unimpressed gaze, “Why did you stop? I was close.”
Hisoka crawled back over Illumi, wedging his legs in between Illumi’s own, his lips moving to scatter kisses across Illumi’s neck and face. “Oh, my little dove, I’m sorry.”
Illumi attempted to rub against Hisoka’s leg, letting out another noise of complaint as Hisoka grabbed his hips, holding him in place.
Illumi opened his mouth, likely to reprimand him, but Hisoka beat him to it, “Shh, I know what you want, darling. I’ll take care of you.”
Leaning back, sitting on his knees in between Illumi’s legs, Hisoka reached over to their nightstand, searching and taking the bottle of lube from the drawer.
He ran his hand soothingly over Illumi’s thigh as he spread the lube over his fingers and then Illumi’s hole.
“Hisoka. Hurry up.”
Hisoka crawled backwards to position his face next to Illumi’s ass, not bothering to speed things up. He leaned forward, licking across Illumi’s hole, watching in delight as it twitched and Illumi shifted out of protest, "Patience, my dear, I just wanted a taste.”
Frowning, however, he did move to press a finger into Illumi, basking into the sound of Illumi choking down whatever demand was about to spout. Really, he did want to tease his dear boy more, but was only half-sure Illumi wouldn’t murder him if he did— or kick him out of bed.
He wasted no time in pushing all the way in to his knuckle, twisting his finger around before pumping it in and out. A second one quickly joined in, scissoring him open and curling around until he hit the spot that made Illumi gasp and push down into the sensation.
Hisoka smirked, letting his thumb rub over the rim as he thrusted his fingers in and out, drawing sounds of pleasure from Illumi’s lips.
A third one joined in, thrusting and curling into the spot that made Illumi’s head spin. Hisoka’s other hand reached to wrap around Illumi’s cock, pumping it at the same speed as the fingers in his ass.
Illumi seemed lost in his head, his mind so cloudy and full of pleasure that he didn’t think to hold back his moans of pleasure. He thrust his hips up in speed to match Hisoka’s tempo, chasing his release.
Hisoka could cum off the sight alone. Illumi was already so gone, and hadn’t even been fucked on his cock yet.
“It’s okay, baby. You’re so perfect, so good, don’t you want to cum for me?”
And Illumi whimpered, whining as he nodded his head. And, fuck, if Hisoka’s own cock wasn’t still shoved in his own pants, he would have been chasing his own release. But tonight wasn’t about him, well, not yet.
Illumi came with a gasp, his cum spilling onto his stomach and covering Hisoka’s hand. Hisoka rubbed him through his climax, slow but tight strokes as Illumi shook and attempted to throw Hisoka off.
And, well, he couldn’t overstimulate Illumi too much, not yet.
Hisoka smirked, feeling Illumi clench around his fingers. Hisoka simultaneously pulled his hand away from Illumi’s cock and out of his ass, watching as Illumi’s hole clenched and fluttered around nothing.
Dragging himself upward, he pulled off his own pants, rubbing his own cock once or twice before settling his hips against Illumi’s, leaning down to lick at Illumi’s jaw.
Hisoka reached down, grabbing the bottle of lube, spreading some over his cock before positioning his dick against Illumi’s hole.
He pressed in, groaning at how tight and warm it was. He went slow, letting Illumi take inch after inch, attempting not to cum right away.
Illumi himself looked as if he wouldn’t last much longer.
Hisoka wrapped his hand around Illumi’s cock, stroking it just as slow as his thrusts. Illumi squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a moan as he moved his head to the side, attempting to hide his face in his shoulder.
Hisoka shook his head, his other hand cupping Illumi’s chin, dragging his face to look back up at Hisoka, “Ah, keep your eyes on me, darling. You feel so good around me, so tight.”
Hisoka, unable to hold himself back, sped up his thrusts but kept his hand wrapped around Illumi’s cock tauntingly slow. He kept his eyes focused on his husband below him, enjoying the way Illumi arched his back and, at the same time, attempted to match the hand around his cock to the one thrusting in and out of him.
He groaned, feeling the way Illumi clenched around him.
Illumi let out a sound of protest, whincing. “H-Hisoka. Need to–”
Hisoka brushed his hand over Illumi’s face, leaning over to press his lips against Illumi’s lips before pulling away, “Need to what, baby?”
Hisoka pulled his hand away from Illumi’s face, planting it on his hip to stop him from moving.
Illumi groaned, tears beginning to build up in his eyes, threatening to, but not yet, spill down his face. “I– Please–” He choked on a breath, groaning, forcing the words out,“Please let me cum.”
Illumi’s face was flushed pink— from embarrassment or pleasure, Hisoka wasn’t sure, probably both.
“Shh, love. You’re being so good for me, so beautiful, so perfect.” Hisoka cooed into his neck, pressing his lips onto the sensitive skin, licking and rubbing the skin in between his teeth.
He kept his thrusts fast and snappy, fucking the air out of Illumi. His hand, around Illumi’s cock, stayed antagonizingly slow. Surely, it was somewhat uncomfortable, Illumi fighting between focusing on the cock pistoning into him and the hand dragging across his cock.
Hisoka wanted to give in to his Illu, but couldn’t, not yet at least.
Illumi whined, fighting to thrust into Hisoka’s hand, but was anchored down, unable to increase the friction.
At a particularly hard thrust into his prostate, Illumi choked on a sob, the tears built up into his eyes finally spilling out down his face.
Hisoka held back his smile, instead, frowning and moving to wipe and kiss at the tears streaming from Illumi’s eyes, “Oh, poor baby, did I make you cry? Don’t worry love, I’ll take care of you.”
Hisoka, finally, increased the rhythm against Illumi’s cock, moving to match the pace with his own cock.
“Good boy, so perfect for me. You can cum now, darling, you’re doing so good.”
At that, Illumi let out another cry as he came, hard. He spilled out onto the both of them, letting out a deep breath as he did.
Hisoka, once again, stroked him through his orgasm. His pace didn’t slow down, instead, he sped up his thrusts into Illumi, hitting his prostate with each thrust. His hand around Illumi’s cock moving just as fast.
And Illumi sobbed, attempting to move away from the sudden onslaught of pleasure, overstimulation almost making it painful as he felt himself grow hard once again.
Hisoka rubbed his thumb in circles over Illumi’s hip, attempting to comfort him. “Shh, just one more, darling, you’re taking me so well. So, so good for me.” He leaned down, pressing his lips to the corner of Illumi’s eyes, licking at the salty tears as they streamed down his face.
It wouldn’t be long till Hisoka came and, given Illumi’s state, likely not long until Illumi came for the third time that night.
He chased his own pleasure, hips smacking against Illumi’s own, hand pumping up and down Illumi’s cock.
His thrusts grew erratic. One, two rough more thrusts into Illumi before he was groaning and pushing himself all the way in, spilling into Illumi. His hand, at the same time, increased its pace around Illumi’s cock until he felt Illumi clench down, cumming for the last time. Not as much cum spilled out, nor was it just as hard, but just as intense as the previous two— if not more so.
Hisoka remained inside of Illumi for a moment longer, panting and wiping the tears from, a still crying, Illumi’s face.
Hisoka pulled out, collapsing onto the bed next to Illumi.
And didn’t Illumi just look gorgeous? Fucked out, face red and wet with tears.
“Illumi? Baby? Was that too much?”
Illumi attempted to catch his breath, gaze stuck to the ceiling as he shook his head.
Hisoka frowned, cupping Illumi’s cheek and moving his lover’s face to make eye contact, “I’m sorry, darling. I just couldn’t help myself.”
Illumi swallowed, eyes growing wide as he choked down another cry, “I…” He cleared his voice, “I thought I couldn’t cry.”
Hisoka licked the remaining tears off of Illumi’s face, fingers moving to run through Illumi’s hair. “Hm. Well, you are a beautiful crier.” He pressed his lips to various spots across Illumi’s face, “You did so good for me. So beautiful–” A kiss to his jaw, “So perfect–” A kiss to his nose, “So good,” A kiss to his forehead.
Giving Illumi a moment to collect himself, knowing the poor thing was likely horribly embarrassed, and fucked out of his mind, Hisoka eventually pulled himself out of their bed, leaning down to cradle Illumi in his arms.
He carried his husband into their bathroom, placing Illumi down into the tub. Hisoka got into the tub next to him, knowing his darling would be angry if he didn’t clean himself as well.
Hisoka was careful to adjust the faucet until it was the perfect temperature for his love. Too hot, and Illumi would complain it was bad for his hair. Too cold, and Illumi would complain it wouldn’t wash his skin well enough.
Truly, for a thing tortured from childhood, for such a strange boy who slept in dirt and ate rocks, his darling could be so demanding when it came to how he was pampered.
Hisoka knew how Illumi liked to be bathed. His hair was to be washed first, shampoo over his scalp, conditioner scrunched through his hair. It was a long, daunting, process. His precious doll had so much hair, and Hisoka refused to rush through it.
He grabbed a wash cloth, lathering it with body wash before gently rubbing it all over Illumi, tracing scars in the process. As he did so, like he did every time, he’d ask about each and every one of his scars, giving his love time to explain each one— sometimes, he stayed silent and didn’t tell Hisoka how they had conspired.
Hisoka wondered, but never did press.
He cleaned his cum out of Illumi, whispering sweet nothings and praises into his ear as he did so.
Once he was done bathing Illumi, he’d step out first before scooping Illumi out of the tub, wrapping him in the softest towels they owned.
He brushed through Illumi’s hair, humming in the process. Hisoka didn’t like when Illumi’s hair was wet, it always made their pillows and sheets slightly damp, but his beloved didn’t like heat drying his hair. And Hisoka really couldn’t bring himself to argue the issue further.
He ran hair oils through the long strands, pressing kisses to the back of Illumi’s neck. Hisoka adored his sweet, sweet damaged boy.
Before placing Illumi back into bed, Hisoka made work of changing the sheets.
Once, finally, back in bed, Illumi practically already half asleep, Hisoka pressed his chest into Illumi’s back. His love still did smell faintly of blood, something that seemed permanently etched onto him.
Illumi was perfectly broken, and Hisoka never could pull himself away from the mess that was Illumi Zoldyck.
“Hisoka.” Illumi had settled back down, while his eyes were still glossy and dazed, his face had returned to its usual void of nothingness.
“Yes, my sweet?”
“I love you.”
And maybe Illumi did say it in the same way he’d describe everything else, devoid of any passion, same monotone voice as always, but Hisoka never did expect more from his darling husband.
Hisoka pressed his lips to the spot behind Illumi’s ear, moved to kiss the tip of his nose, “Oh, my perfect, good boy, I love you too.”
Kintsugi was the ancient pottery act of piecing broken porcelain back together with powdered gold. The cracks weren’t hidden, no, but instead highlighted by the filling. The fractures became a beautiful piece of art, highlighting its history.
In a way, Hisoka was doing the same for Illumi. Or, at least, was attempting to piece him back together the only way he knew how.