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Toya slides into the booth across from Akito, his chest tightening as he sees that smile on his face. It'd been so long since he'd seen that smile...
"Hello, A—" Toya stops himself. It'd been years, could he still call Akito by his first name? "Shinonome."
Akito frowns, "Since when do we—... Uhm," Akito looks uncomfortable, averting his eyes from Toya. "J- Just Akito is fine, please."
Toya nods, "Sorry, it's just been so long." He inhales a through his nose, "So. How many years has it been?"
"Ten."
Toya winces. It'd been ten years since he'd left Vivid BAD Squad, left his friends to go out on his own. He remembers their support, but they stopped reaching out after the first year.
But Toya had stopped too, and eventually he drifted apart from the group.
Akito had done his research. He knew that Toya had a good life. He didn't know much about it, but from the few posts he'd made on Instagram, it seemed like he was enjoying his life.
"So." Akito laces his fingers together. "How's life been?"
Toya smiles, "Well I got married." He hold his hand up, showing Akito the ring on his ring finger before lowering it back on top of the other one. "And I had two daughters."
"Wow." Akito raises his eyebrows. "That's... wow. So, are you having your girls carry the classical music legacy?"
Toya flinches hearing those words out of Akito's mouth, and the ginger chides himself for phrasing it like that. It probably reminded Toya of his father.
"Well, my oldest has taken interest in piano and if she chooses to go on with it, I'll support her. But I will not be forcing her to."
"I mean, obviously." Akito shrugs, "Does your youngest have any interests or hobbies?"
Akito just wanted to learn about Toya's life. He wanted to absorb as much information as he could before he had to—
"She's only six, but she seems to love art. I've actually showed her some of Ena's stuff, and even though she doesn't understand the meaning behind the works, she loves the colors." Toya chuckles to himself, remembering the time his daughter had taken the phone so close to her face so she could see the piece as close as possible.
"Oh, well I'll have to tell Ena about one of her fans." Akito grins. "How's your wife?"
"She's wonderful, I'm so lucky to have her in my life." Toya pauses, "She asks about you sometimes, you know."
Akito blinks. "Really?"
"Yes. She's always asking if you're doing okay, or if I've talked to you lately." Toys looked a little guilty, like he had felt bad that this was the first time he'd spoken to Akito in ten years.
"And what do you tell her?"
Toya doesn't answer.
Changing the topic, "So what about you?" Toya asks. "What have you done over the years?"
"Well me, Kohane, and An ended up becoming pretty popular in the states, and a lot of other places in the world." Akito hopes this doesn't sound like a brag, but it probably does. He hates that.
Because Toya cpuld have been apart of that. But... he wasn't. Because he choose to lead a 'regular' life. Marry. Have kids.
He gave up his dream for that.
Or at least, what Akito thought was his dream.
But maybe Akito didn't know everything about the man sitting in front of him.
Of course, none of this was a problem.
It just, felt... weird.
"That's amazing." Toya looks at Akito wistfully.
There's a break in conversation before Toya picks it back up, expression a bit more nervous than before. "I... I'm glad you asked to meet up."
He breathes in before continuing, "I've wanted to over these years but could never work up the courage to. The reason I left... you might think it's, uh, bad. Maybe bad is too vague of a term."
Akito shrugs, "I'm just glad we're talking about it. And if I'm being completely honest, you could've killed someone and I wouldn't have cared."
Toya purses his lips. Maybe I shouldn't... "Well it's... nevermind."
Akito frowns. Then he sighs. "Do you wanna know something?" Toya meets Akito's eyes. "I was always worried that I was part of the reason you left. 'Cause at some point I do know that I sorta... started actin' weird around you."
"That was part of it." Toya says quietly, nodding. "I thought you were mad at me, or getting sick of me. It wasn't the whole thing, but it was part."
His eyes go wide though, "But please take this with a grain of salt. I was young and dumb, and was acting on impulse on what I thought was best for me. Don't blame yourself."
Akito nods, looking out the window. "It's funny, you spend the past ten years thinking something was your fault, and then when it comes out that it was— it hurts more than it was supposed to. Even though you already knew."
Toya looks distressed, "Please don't think thst way, there's more to it than that—"
"I was in love with you, Toya." Akito deadpans, fixing his gaze back on Toya. "That's why I was... acting weird."
Toya's world has just been flipped upside down and inside out. Akito. Was in love with him. At the same time. That he. Was in love. With Akito.
This was— what? No, what?
It wasn't like he felt love like that for Akito right now, and he severely doubted Akito harbored any feelings for him anymore, but still.
It hurt to know that they could have really had something. But then Toya hd to screw it up. Wow just.
Wow.
"Toya?" Akito picked at his thumbnail, a nervous habit that Toya notices the younger has carried into adulthood.
"Oh." Is all Toya can say. He tries for more though. "Is this... true?"
"...yeah." Akito sighs. "You deserved the truth way sooner. I'm just glad you were able to find love."
"I wish I had known."
"Yeah, it probably would have made you change your opinions on me—"
"It definitely would have because I felt the same exact way."
A looming silence hangs in the air as Akito leans back into his seat —seeming like he wanted to be absorbed by it— with his eyes wide. "Seriously?"
Toya can't bring himself to force any words out, so he just nods.
"I- I wish I had known that."
"Akito?"
"Yes?"
"Did you ever find love?"
Akito bites his bottom lip, shaking his head. "Nah. Never could." He squares his shoulders as he readies himself. "Toya I wanted to meet here with you today because I wanted to tell you that I'm moving to Americs with An and Kohane."
Toya's eyes get impossibly wider as Akito continues. "The chances of me seeing you again are.. low. And if I'm going to be completely honest, I don't want to keep in contact with you."
Ow. That felt like a shot to the heart. Sure, maybe Toya wasn't actively in love with Akito anymore, but that didn't minimize the pain of that statement.
"I just want you to live a happy life and try to forget about me the best you can." He grabs Toya's hands and holds them in his own. "You're finally happy. Don't pretend that I didn't know you were struggling in high-school. We all were, but I know you had it hard."
"So Aoyagi Toya, even if I only see you through the occasional Instagram post, or from old performance videos on the internet. I want you to know that for the years you were in my life, the world around me was, and forgive me for how corny this is about to sound, vivid. The colors, the smells, my every sense was enhanced."
"You will always be apart of me, no matter how hard I try to push it down." He releases Toya's hands and stands up from his seat. "So just... thank you."
As Akito starts to walks put, he barely gets a few paces away before Toya calls out, "Wait, Akito!"
Akito looks back, expectant.
"I love you. Always have."
Akito smiles.
"Right back at you."
Toya gets home as his wife walks up to him, "How did your dinner go? I've already put the kids down for bed."
"It went... fine. I'm happy to get closure on that part of my life."
"I'm proud of you dear."