Chapter Text
Mischa Bachinski was a man so many refused to understand.
After his mother passed she sent him to a new country to offer him a better chance at life. He’s sure she couldn’t have meant where he actually ended up.
Soon after the funeral he found himself on a plane that flew him to his new home, Uranium City, Saskatchewan. He found it to be incredibly cruel and ironic that the town he would now live in was named after the very thing that killed his mother.
When he disembarked the plane, carrying his meager belongings, he found his new parents. Things were already strange in a new place, but they got even more strange when the sign signifying they were there for him read, “Welcome Baby Mischa Bachinski!” Along with a large assortment of toys clearly meant for a toddler.
“Um, excuse me.” He said, awkwardly.
“Oh, hello, you must have our new baby! I can just tell by your accent.” The woman enthusiastically exclaimed, reaching for his hand and shaking it.
Mischa looked around, was this some kind of joke?
“I think there may have been some kind of misunderstanding…” He said.
“What do you mean?” The man suddenly looked suspicious.
“I am Mischa Bachinski.” He said, still not entirely sure what was happening here.
“You’re joking, right?” The woman’s once enthusiastic smile had taken on a strained quality.
“I-I am sorry.” He didn’t know what to say, he was still reeling from the loss of his mother, he wasn’t part of the adoption process, other than being the one adopted, he wasn’t sure how any of this happened.
“Jesus Christ, we got scammed!” His new father yelled.
People began to look at them, the new parents took notice of this, and they began to leave. Mischa was afraid that they were going to leave him in this strange new place, but he felt somewhat relieved when the man grabbed his wrist and started pulling him with them, even if the grip was too tight.
He was practically shoved into the couple’s minivan, there was not much space for him because of the child’s car seat, but he managed to fit in.
As the couple drove to what he hoped would be his new home he began to get some context for everything. As the couple began to argue, Mischa was able to make out words like “forged,” and “two year old,” so he was able to put the pieces together. His mother must have changed his birth certificate so that he would seem more appealing to someone wanting to adopt him.
During the drive he looked down just trying not to bring attention to himself, when they arrived at his new home. It was larger than his last home, he stared at it in wonder, despite the still very fresh pain, he was glad that his mother had secured him somewhere nice to live, or at least that’s what he thought before he was quickly shown to the basement.
“We were expecting a child, so we set up a child’s room, so you’ll just have to stay here.” The man who adopted him said.
Before he could say anything the door was abruptly slammed in his face, locking him in his new home.
Mischa really tried his best to settle in after that.
His “parents” would provide him with the bare minimum, probably to make sure that he wasn’t taken away, despite their distaste for him they apparently weren’t willing to risk legal trouble.
He was given a bed and meals were left at the top of the stairs, Mischa had to be careful about them, any time he went up to early his “mother” would see him and break into tears, as if she had a reason to be upset, and his “father” would shoo him away, like a horsefly.
It was after this Mischa would lay in his bed, and he would feel resentment towards his mother for leaving him in a strange new land with these horrible people, and then he would quickly become aware of those thoughts and he would cry for having them.
Those tears had turned to rage, rage at the people who had adopted him, rage at Uranium for killing his mother, rage at the world for allowing this to happen to him. He needed an outlet for this rage, and so he turned to self-aggrandizing commercialized hip-hop.
His username, BadEgg, was based on what he was considered by those around him. They had taken one look at him and decided he was a bad egg, a failure, something they couldn’t mold into their perfect child, even though they had never even tried to get to know him.
And the thing is, he had really tried to get to actually know the couple that had adopted them, he had tried to share his interests, anything, but they didn’t want to be involved at all, the closest he got to having a full conversation with them was when he found out they had signed him up for school at St. Cassians, a catholic school.
They had also said he was to attend his cousin’s birthday party, since “their family” was asking about their new adopted baby.
They made sure to emphasize that Mischa was “younger” than the cousin, Mischa was unsure why they kept using finger quotes
That’s how Mischa would win them over, he would make good with his new cousin and also share some traditions from his homeland.
Of course he didn’t have the funds to buy some nice drinks for his cousin’s birthday, the adopters had given him a small allowance, once again something they most likely did so he wouldn’t go to the police. So he did the next best option, what good was a catholic school if it didn’t have some spare communion wine laying around? Mischa was sure three boxes wouldn’t be missed.
Apparently he was wrong in all regards.
The thing that the adopters had failed to tell him was that his cousin was in grade 4. The finger quotes were because Mischa was younger on his forged birth certificate, the party was an absolute disaster, and as his cousin was taken to the hospital Mischa truly became aware that no matter what he did he would never fit in.
Things were made much worse when it was reported to the school. They had wanted to expel him, and possibly press charges for the theft, however, one of the priests there, Father Marcus decided to take pity on him.
He would not be expelled or going to prison, no, he would be joining the school’s Chamber choir… made up of four other people.
As if he didn’t already have people saying bad things about him because of his being from a foreign country, now he had to join this lame school’s lame choir..
Walking into choir that first day he was instantly cornered by a very loud girl.
“HELLO MY NAME IS OCEAN YOU MUST BE MISCHA.” Each word was accompanied by some sort of broad gesture, as if she were putting on a stage play based on nine words.
“Are you okay?” He asked, genuinely concerned for this strange girl he had just met.
“Oh, you speak English?” She asked, a look of utter shock on her face.
“... yeah,” he said, unsure why that seemed like such a strange concept, just because he wasn’t native to Saskatchewan didn’t mean he didn’t know the language, in fact he was fluent in three languages, and even knew a little Dutch.
“Well, here at the St. Cassian’s chamber choir we believe that all students regardless of background blah blah blah blah blah.” That’s all Mischa heard as he looked beyond the loud annoying girl into the room to see his other fellow choir members.
Behind the loud one stood a shy looking girl, she looked apologetic, as if feeling bad that Mischa had to be subjected to a conversation with… Ocean? Was that her name?
Looking past her there was a guy in a wheelchair, he was staring down at some sort of handheld game console, sensing that he was being stared at he looked up and waved at Mischa, something that Mischa gave a quick nod of acknowledgement to.
Finally all the way in the back of the room was another boy, this one writing in a journal, Mischa noticed that he had painted nails that were chipped. The boy lifted his head up from his book, he met Mischa’s eyes and blushed, gave a small wave and then looked back down at his journal.
Mischa wasn’t sure what that meant.
And his speculation was interrupted once again by the same annoying voice that greeted him when he first walked in.
“Now that that’s out of the way, would you like to introduce yourself to the choir?” Ocean(?) said, pulling him into the room.
And standing there, in front of these people he didn’t know he just said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yo, my name is Mischa, you may know me as BadEgg on the Youtubes, I post my raps there.” His words started to fizzle out towards the end.
Ocean stepped forward, apparently deciding that was enough, “Okay, that’s great, well allow me to introduce the rest of the choir to you, My name is Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg, I am the choir’s leader.” She gestured to herself as she said that, Then gestured to the shy girl, “and this is Constance, my BFF,”
Constance tried to give a greeting to Mischa before Ocean interrupted her with, “don’t interrupt sweetie,” she gestured to the boy writing, “That’s Noel, the only gay guy in the entire town.” Noel looked up at that, an indignant look on his face.
Ocean continued, “And finally sweet little Ricky Potts, I got him into choir, and he can’t talk or anything,” She raised a fist into the air, “accessibility for all!” She exclaimed, completely unaware of the way Ricky’s eyes were rolling.
So this is where Mischa would be spending his punishment? Maybe this was worse than prison.
As Mischa went to his room in the basement, he was utterly exhausted. He didn’t know how those other people put up with Ocean, she somehow managed to run her mouth constantly but also make sure they all were constantly practicing the songs she had picked.
He was too exhausted to even properly let out his rage with some autotune rap, maybe he would look at the low view counts and that could inspire the level of rage he needed.
He really tried to put everything into his Youtube raps, but he was met with the exact same reaction that he was met with by everyone since he came to this godforsaken town, indifference.
His last rap video had gotten 6 views, and he’s certain they were all from him, so many videos, so much rage, and nothing to show for it.
He logged into Youtube, ready to give the video another view, when he found something shocking, the video not only had a new view, not contributed by him, but a comment!
@SadGirl1930
Hey, I really enjoyed your rap, I honestly didn’t know if I would, considering it’s not really my genre of music, but I can really feel the passion you put into them. Not usually a big fan of autotune either, but I think you really make it work with your specific style.
This was the greatest thing Mischa had encountered since coming to Canada, and it wasn’t just the mostly positive feedback on one of his youtube videos, it was someone who acknowledged the passion he put into it, someone who actually saw all the trouble he went to and said he did a good job. For the first time in a long while Mischa felt some form of joy, he even felt himself smile from the wonderful comment.
Mischa quickly liked the comment and typed up a reply.
@BadEgg
YO! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR DOPE FEEDBACK! You are so awesome, Definitely gonna make more raps for you to enjoy!
Things continued like that for a while, Mischa would post a new video, and this Sad girl would leave a positive comment, for some it might feel discouraging to perform for an audience of one, but Mischa cherished every single comment, each one bringing a feeling of joy to his heart.
Then he would come back down because he realized that this sad girl was who knows where and he was in Canada. He was surrounded by people who didn’t want to know him, and there was nothing he could do.
Or maybe there was.
Mischa began to do a bit of research into this “SadGirl1930,” Whoever she was, she didn’t have any videos on her youtube, but searching the name up on the broader internets eventually brought him to an Instagram account with the same username that posted black and white pictures of roses, poems, and movie stars from the old fashioned days.
This had to be her, but Mischa knew he needed to be sure, so he created his own instagram account under the BadEgg name, and sent a message.
BadEgg: YO! Are you the same sad girl who left the nice comments on my youtube channel?
Now he would wait, maybe it was just a coincidence and this was an entirely different person, or maybe this was the only person who had shown him true kindness since his mother died.
He didn’t have to wait too long until his request was accepted and he got a response.
SadGirl1930: Oh, yeah, that’s me, did you need something?
What could Mischa say? He was suddenly at a loss, this person who had been leaving nice words for him through the screen was suddenly directly communicating with him through the same screen. He eventually decided that honesty would be the best approach.
BadEgg: I just wanted to thank you again, I know I don’t have many people who listen to them, so it really means so much to me that you keep leaving such nice comments.
Mischa waited on baited breath, had he shared too much? Would his words be received well by this person he was putting so much hope into? Luckily before he could spiral further he received a reply.
SadGirl1930: No thanks necessary, I get how hard it is to put yourself out there, just screaming into the void and hoping someone notices
She knew what it was like to put herself out there? The instagram account of course, she must take the pictures, did she write the poems too?
BadEgg: YO! Wait, did you write those poems on your page? That is So MadWickedAwesome!
So she was an artist of words like him, but with poems, like his raps, rap was kind of like poetry if you think about it.
SadGirl1930: Oh, you saw those, god that’s so embarrassing
Now she felt embarrassed, he couldn’t have that.
BadEgg: Is not embarrassing, you put yourself out there like me, and that is totally DOPE!
Mischa carefully considered his next words, here he had found not only a kind soul, but a kindred spirit, someone putting themself out there, and luckily they had found someone who could appreciate what they do.
BadEgg: Maybe we could share some of our stuff we work on, proofread poems and stuff and you can have early access to my raps?
He waited with baited breath, if this sad girl said yes he might not just find someone supportive, but maybe also a friend. Someone he could share himself with, he knew that his raps were personal to him, and clearly this poetry must be the same way, so to truly share it with each other, that would truly be the next step.
SadGirl1930: Really? You’d like to see my poems?
Of course he would, he would love to have someone feel like they could share a part of themselves with him. So of course he replied with:
BadEgg: Of course, would love to, I can tell they mean so much to you, and having a friend look at them could be nice
SadGirl1930: You’d want to be friends with me?
BadEgg: I would, I really would
Things blossomed beautifully from there, what began as sharing poetry and raps soon evolved into a true genuine friendship.
It all really began when Mischa let it slip that his raps came from a place of rage, a rage built from the things that he had experienced.
When the sad girl had asked for him to elaborate, that had opened the floodgates, Mischa was just so desperate for someone to talk to that he ended up spilling out all the hardships that he had gone through, from losing his mother, being taken in by people who want nothing to do with him, and the constant harassment from people who just refused to understand him.
He was worried he had said too much, that his new friend would say that she could not help, that Mischa was too forward, he was so happy to be proven wrong.
SadGirl1930: I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all that, I know it’s not the same but my father left and I know how horrible it can be to lose someone who was so present in your life.
It became a two way communication after that. Mischa soon found out about this wonderful sad girl being bullied, her father walking out on the family leaving them with no money, and a mother who had to work all the time, and when she wasn’t she didn’t support her child’s interests.
It was as if it was fate, two people who had been so wronged by the world, destined to find each other through internet comments.
And things really got better from there, because Mischa finally had someone to talk to, it made him feel like he could truly face the world, knowing someone was there, he now had a best friend, even if it was through a screen.
But it soon became clear to Mischa that it was more than that.
It suddenly dawned on him one day, as he was reacting to a comment with a heart that this is what love felt like, this is what being in love with another person meant, it allowed him to feel the passion that he had been lacking for so long.
He knew he had to tell her, he just had to figure out how to confess.
It was months after they had started messaging each other, and Mischa just knew it felt like the right time. He had spent hours convincing himself to just admit his feelings, and he knew the only way to succeed was just to do it, so before he could lose his nerve he sent the message.
BadEgg: Hey, I need to tell you something.
There, now he would wait for the reply, hopefully he would have enough time to keep his nerve. The reply was almost instant.
SadGirl1930: Is everything okay?
And that reply reminded him of why he needed to do this, the instant concern for him, the care that was felt, he felt so much love, so it was now or never. It was time for him to unleash his passion, it may go wrong, but his feelings would be out there.
BadEgg: These past few months have meant so much to me, I have felt so alone for so long and you have been there for me, I was so happy to have someone there for me, but as we have gotten to know each other I have realized the feelings go so much deeper than that, you are everything, you are my sun and my moon, you are the thing that keeps my world spinning, I am in love with you and I can only hope you feel the same.
There, he admitted it, now he would either experience the ecstasy of his love being returned, or a bitter rejection, either way, he knew it was the right thing to do.
He didn’t have to wait for too long, he received a message in return, he had to take a moment to breathe, feeling anxious for the message he was about to read.
SadGirl1930: Oh my god, I don’t know what to say, I had no idea you could possibly like me in return. I was just so happy to have a friend, but this is so so much more, I don’t know what to say, of course I love you too, how could I not?
Mischa now knew true elation, his love returned his feelings, he could feel tears of joy coming, something he hadn’t been allowed since coming to this small town. Now that he knew that his feelings were returned he felt more confident in asking for her personal information.
BadEgg: Thank you, thank you my love, this is the greatest news I have heard, if it does not bother you, may I know the name of the beautiful woman I have given my heart to?
SadGirl1930: Mischa…
That was strange…
BadEgg: Your name is Mischa?
SadGirl1930: No, Mischa, it’s Noel, Noel Gruber from choir, shit I didn’t realize you didn’t know
Noel Gruber from choir?
Wait, the Noel from the choir he had to be in? Sure he had noticed the boy had grown more friendly over time to him, but he had assumed that it was because he had spent more time in the school, had opened up, but no, Noel had apparently thought that they were on a real life friendly basis… wait a minute.
BadEgg: Wait, you knew?
SadGirl1930: Well yeah, you mentioned your youtube channel, so I checked it out and I wanted to offer some support. I promise I wasn’t trying to lie or manipulate you or anything like that!
Mischa could understand how this happened, Noel actually paid attention to what he said that first day in choir, he checked out his videos, and he offered some support to a fellow artist. The only thing confusing Mischa was Noel’s username
BadEgg: But why did you call yourself a girl?
SadGirl1930: crap, you’re right, I didn’t even think about that, sorry, I’ve been using the username for so long I didn’t even realize, I started using it to reclaim it because homophobic assholes kept calling me a sad girl, so I decided to own it and make it my name
Mischa was at a loss. This person he had come to confide in, that he had come to love, was someone who was much closer than he thought, he didn’t know what to say, but Noel just kept messaging.
SadGirl1930: I’m sorry, I know you wouldn’t have confessed to me if you knew I was a guy, I’m so sorry that this happened, again, I promise I wasn’t trying to lie, I just know what it’s like for no one to understand you and you look like you needed a friend, no hard feelings, I hope that we can still be friends
Mischa should say that would be best, that they can go back to just being friends, because Mischa just liked girls in THAT way, yes that’s what he should say.
Sure, Mischa had noticed the aesthetic appeal of some men, but that’s as far as it went, right?
But… but he found his feelings had not changed because he had found out the person he loved was a man, he felt the exact same way, if anything he was even happier with the knowledge that the person he loved wasn’t halfway around the world. He had to fix this.
BadEgg: NO, no I still feel the same way, I still love you, I still love you in that way
SadGirl1930: Really? You really mean that?
Mischa really thought about it, about the months of deep conversation, the truths revealed to each other, he thought about the way he finally felt seen by another person, how he finally felt cared for, and he realized the answer was the most obvious thing in the world.
BadEgg: I do, I love you Noel Gruber <3
It should have been perfect, the two lonely kids in town, finding each other and living happily ever after, unfortunately things are never that easy.
The following week at school Mischa was texting Noel, the two had exchanged numbers and were no longer talking over Direct messaging, about some stupid class he had when he was approached by some other stupid student.
“Hey Ukrainian, what’s got you smiling?” They asked, and Mischa was reminded of why he hated this school.
No one wanted to know him, he was just the angry Ukrainian who they all hated for some reason.
He should tell him exactly who he’s texting, Noel Gruber, the only person who was willing to give him a chance, and that’s what he was going to do.
But suddenly he froze, for some reason the idea of just telling everyone he was in a relationship with a man scared him,
His mind flashed back to Noel’s stories of being bullied by the school’s homophobes, they shouldn’t scare him, he knew he could take them down in a fight. But for some reason he was frozen in fear and couldn’t make himself admit the truth.
“Does this dude even speak English?” The student asked no one in particular, he was clearly just mocking Mischa.
He had to answer something.
“Texting my girlfriend!” Mischa exclaimed.
“Dude, nice, didn’t know you had it in you to pull anyone,” the other student said before slapping him on the shoulder and walking away, not feeling the need to interrogate him further.
After school Mischa called up Noel, he profusely apologized about the lie, he was just scared and he didn’t mean to lie about Noel’s identity, but Noel, like the wonderful boyfriend he is, reassured him.
“Mischa, it’s okay, you’re not ready to come out, and you panicked, and that’s okay.” Noel said
“I told him I have girlfriend, whole school probably knows by now,” Mischa whined.
The two sat on the phone in silence for a bit, before Noel shared an idea, “Well, if you need a ‘girlfriend,’ why don’t we come up with one together?”
Mischa was shocked, “you’d really do that?” He asked.
“Mischa, I love you, but I also know what it’s like dealing with homophobic assholes on a daily basis, so you’re not ready to come out yet, you’re still the best boyfriend I could ever hope to have.” Noel reassured him
“You are best thing that has ever happened to me Noel Gruber,” Mischa said, his heart filled with love.
And so Natalia Muruska Bolinska was created, a collaboration between two boys in love to keep one’s heterosexuality intact, Mischa’s online girlfriend who lived in Ukraine. It was something Mischa could point to when anyone asked who he was texting, to really sell the lie Noel’s contact had been changed to “Talia <3” and a carefully chosen stock photo was available on Mischa’s camera roll should anyone ask to see her.
Mischa knew this lie couldn’t go on forever, eventually the truth would come out, but hopefully by the time it did they would both be far away from Uranium, together if Mischa had it his way.
And if his secret plan worked out the way he hoped he could guarantee they would be together forever.
Mischa tried to be sneaky as he made his way to the Gruber household, he was able to confirm Noel’s mother was out of the house, so it would just be him and Noel.
Mischa eventually made it to the small house and knocked on the door, discretely. Noel opened it and was surprised to see his secret boyfriend making a house visit. He quickly let Mischa inside.
“Mischa, what are you doing here?” He asked, looking surprised.
“Poet, I needed to come see you, there is something I must ask.” He said, poet being the nickname he had given Noel, a way of acknowledging how their relationship ultimately started.
Noel looked nervous, that would not do.
“What did you need?” Noel asked, staring into the other’s eyes.
Mischa smiled, he reached into his pocket and got on one knee.
“Noel Gruber, when I am with you I can be myself, a man filled with passion, not the rage I have held inside, I want to promise myself to you, heart, body, and soul, and promise that I will always be there for you.” He took out the rings, he had been saving up for a long time and was eventually able to afford two of them.
“Will you marry me Noel Gruber?” Mischa asked.
Noel began to tear up before he collapsed into the arms of the other boy, “Of course I will, I love you so much Mischa.”
They both knew their engagement was more of a promise, there was no way they’d be able to get married while they were still in school, but when they were out, and far away from Uranium City, they would get married, that was something they had promised each other on that day.
Because love conquers all, right?