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Ilya knows he’s possessive. It’s kind of hard not to be, when everything he’s ever loved feels so impermanent. It’s a feral sort of intensity that lives in his heart, in his soul, and bleeds out over everything and everyone he touches. Ilya knows that intensity scares people, he does, but he can’t help it. He’s greedy, a sheer bottomless pit of want. He has never had anyone who matched that level of sheer possessive desire, no one who wanted him in the same way he wanted them. His mother loved him, of course she did, but it wasn’t enough to make her stay. Ilya has never been enough, never been worth staying for. Not until Shane. Shane matches his intensity, matches his lust and love and want in a way that makes Ilya’s head spin. It’s dizzying. It makes Ilya feel drunk even if he’s not. He feels drunk off the knowledge that Shane Hollander could have anyone he wanted, and he chose Ilya. He chose Ilya because they are perfect matches in every way that matters. Shane can take everything Ilya gives him. Even more importantly, he wants to take it. Needs to, even. And he can give just as good as he takes.
It’s enough to make Ilya forget about everyone who came before Shane. None of them are him. None of them matter anymore. All that matters is Shane. It’s these thoughts and more that fill Ilya’s mind as he watches his own cock disappear inside of Shane. It’s almost painfully slow since it’s been a while, and Ilya would rather kill himself before he hurt Shane. He watches Shane’s face, watches his eyelashes flutter closed and his lips part as he gets used to the stretch of Ilya inside him all over again. This is why Ilya will never be able to have sex with anyone else. Why he never wants to.
“So good, baby, fuck,” Shane moans, and Ilya leans forward over Shane’s body where he lays supine on the bed, beautiful tan skin glowing against the soft sheets, his forearms bracketing Shane’s head, effectively caging him in just how he likes.
“Need you to move, baby, please,” Shane says. His bottomless brown eyes are open, wet and shiny and so full of love Ilya feels like it could kill him. He would let it. He would let Shane do anything to him. He rolls his hips ever so slowly, ensuring that Shane feels every inch of him. Shane lets out a little groan and arches his back up, blindly seeking Ilya’s lips. Ilya kisses him then, deep and hard and all-consuming, just the way Shane likes it. He smiles into it, he can’t help it. And if he captures Shane’s bottom lip in between his teeth, bites down sharply, and delights at the sharp gasp it draws from Shane’s mouth and the way it makes Shane's cock twitch where it's pressed in between their bodies, well, that’s between him and God.
Ilya keeps his thrusts slow and deliberate. Sometimes, he still has to convince himself that it’s okay to do it this way now, that they have time to really take it slow. They don’t have to rush anymore. They don't really need to talk much either, which Ilya supposes is a testament to how well they know each other's bodies after all this time. The bedroom fills with the sounds of skin against skin and their heavy breathing.
“So good for me, Shane,” Ilya says. “Always so good.” Shane lets out another soft noise and reaches up, looping his arms around Ilya's neck and pulling him in closer. He goes willingly, of course. How could he not? He would go anywhere Shane wanted him to go.
Shane tosses his head to the side with a moan, and Ilya dips his head and latches on to Shane's neck, kissing and biting at his throat. Shane's moans grow louder at the feeling of sharp teeth nipping at the sensitive skin.
“Ah, fuck, Ilya, need -” Shane's words cut off as Ilya keeps biting and licking.
“Tell me,” Ilya whispers, barely audible. He feels the need to speed up, to fuck Shane faster and harder, to somehow force all of the love and desire in him outside of himself and into Shane.
“Tell me what you need,” he says again, his voice dropping into a desperate sort of growl.
“Bite me again, God,” Shane says. “Felt so good, baby, please.” Ilya lets out a loud moan and his vision blurs a bit. Jesus. This, too, is why they work. Why Ilya will never want anyone else. Everyone else before him vanished a long time ago. Everyone else before him was like silver, but Shane is platinum. Fucking perfect.
“Fuck!” Shane cries out as Ilya bites his shoulder hard. His cock jolts a bit between them, dark pink and hard and dripping from the head, and Ilya lets out a groan that's slightly muffled by Shane's skin in between his teeth. Underneath him, Shane lets out another soft cry. Fuck, the dark bruise he left on Shane's shoulder is so hot.
“Good?” Ilya asks. He has to know.
“Fuck, baby,” Shane breathes out. His chest is heaving. “You know how good you are.”
Ilya responds with another bite, this time right on the meat of Shane’s pec. He moans, loud, and reaches up with one hand to tangle his fingers in Ilya’s curls, keeping him in place.
“Baby, oh my God, Ilya,” Shane gasps out. “So fucking good, more, please.”
“You like this,” Ilya pants. “You like - fuck - you like being a chew toy.” He moves over to Shane’s other pec and bites down equally hard, rolling his nipple in between his teeth. Shane tosses his head back against the pillows, baring his throat. Ilya alternates between biting and sucking at Shane’s chest and collarbone, leaving his skin marked with dark, almost bruise-like marks and wet tracks of spit as he moves in and out of him.
“So fucking good, I love you,” Shane says, sounding close to tears. Fuck. Ilya might start crying too.
“Never gonna be anyone else for me, you know that?” Shane asks. “Fffuck, never was anyone else for me, was only you.” Ilya has to kiss him then. It’s wet and messy, biting at Shane’s lips and leaving them dark pink and raw.
“I love you so much,” Ilya says, but it comes out weak and teary, mumbled against Shane’s parted lips. He realizes then, with a sinking feeling deep in his stomach, that he can’t hold on for much longer. Everything feels too overwhelmingly good, and right. Shane underneath him, moving against him, this room. The fact that they get to have this forever. For the rest of their lives.
“Ah, fuck, Ilya, ‘m close, please, don’t stop,” Shane whimpers out, tears now openly trickling down his face. Ilya hasn’t touched his cock at all yet. It throbs against his hip, hard and an angry shade of dark pink, almost bordering on purple. Ilya feels dizzy. He doesn’t stop, snapping his hips a little harder.
“You can cum like this, can’t you?” Ilya asks. He doesn’t have to. He knows Shane can. Shane nods shakily, words leaving him. He can hold back a little longer, he wants Shane to cum first. Shane lifts his hand to his mouth and spits on his open palm before reaching for his own cock, moaning loudly at the contact. It doesn’t take much, only a few strokes of his cock before he cums with a loud moan, coating his hand and lower stomach.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Shane gasps, shuddering a little. “Keep, keep going, baby, want you to bite me when you cum.”
“Yeah, okay, sweetheart, anything you want,” Ilya promises, and means it. He’s so close, it won’t take much more of this before he cums. When he does, it’s with his cock buried so deep inside of Shane, filling him up, and with his teeth in the meat of his neck. He holds himself up for another few seconds before collapsing on top of Shane, whose arms instantly go around Ilya’s back, anchoring him.
“Oh God,” Shane gasps. “That was so good, baby, I love you.”
“I love you,” Ilya says. “I didn’t hurt you?”
“Mm, no, was perfect,” Shane assures him. “I meant what I said, there’s never going to be anyone else for me. There never was. Only ever you.”
Ilya sobs. “It’s only you for me too. Mine. My love.”
“Yours,” Shane murmurs. “Are you okay?”
“Perfect,” Ilya promises.
They’ll clean up in a few minutes, once both men can feel their legs again. But for now, Ilya can let himself be held by the man he loves as they both come down. The man who is perfect for him in every way. Ilya doesn’t think he’s ever been this happy.