Chapter Text
Atsushi been with the agency long enough to understand, to feel,to believe that this...
is his place, his lost family
well it's mostly all thanks to Dazai for saving him.or. ... him saving Dazai .its weird really like a reversed karma that did good to his life .even coming from a suicidal... hmmm.a...suicidal... oh that's right.. dazai been acting pretty normal these days?..as if he never acted like himself anymore. he finished work on time ....THREE TIMES THIS WEEK we didn't hear the usual yelling from Kunikida .it feels ..quite . too quite... I miss that sometimes Atsushi thought...
ATSUSHI POV PART
I came early today. Mister kunikida is sick this moment and because my luck is so so so bright ~ I was told to hold his work today. but knowing the workaholic man he won't keep it up until noon in fact I think.... I paused as a saw a tall figure entering the office... mister dazai.."Dazai San?"
dazai didn't look at me in the moment but when he did he gave me a little smile that didn't reach his eyes "good morning Atsushi. pretty early huh?"
well yes that why I am surprised .I thought...
"y.yeah ... and you forgot your headphones that's why you came this early right?.. I know for sure you didn't come for work h.haha" I laughed nervously
he laughed back
"well yes" saying as he held the headphones for me to see "but still wanna talk to you about something"
my expiration turned a bit unserious .I think I know that what he wanna say "you got rejected again Dazai San?"
he titled his head at me "well that's not a new topic .I wanna ask you a little question that's all .boy"
I felt an urge to argue about the last word I am legally an adult dammit .but I ate my words up like a bitter medicine. "and it is?"
he straighten a bit playing with the headphones in his hands while staring at them ..and then looked at me
"have you ever wanted to live normally?... no agency.. no mafia... no powers. just a normal 18 years old Atsushi a student in a normal school that eats shazûke (tea and rise) when he get the chance to on Friday night" he talked sweetly .like he was telling me a fairy tale .no. a bedtime story filled with dreamy fantasies. and by the think of it.yes...yes that story sounds very thrilling. it's good to think of it actually ..I won't mind having such life really.
I took a deep breath to answer "yup" I then noded "sound very domestic no violence or actual danger to mind yourself with.who doesn't want that ?"
he gave me a look of understanding
"hmmm... yes I suppose.."
and then silence
"..Dazai San .. does dazai San want that too?.. I mean.. are you good at anything that can get you a job in that imaginary life?..like dont get me wrong but you mostly good at drinking and skipping work only..." pause "and disappearing without a trace sometimes" he laughed at the last part .now all that warmth was gone replaced by that playful energy he always had.typical Dazai Osamu officially back
"I am good at it don't you think?. I can even take someone to disappear with me~"
"aha..." I was unimpressed really
"good morning world!"
"oh.. Yosano sensei!" I said with joy greeting her
"OMG!~is the sky raining wine!?" she ran to the window to check "what on earth Osamu doing here in the morning!?"
Dazai just shrug and gave a playful cat like smile "my headphones my life.and I didn't sleep the night before" I noded as he talked "yes it's all for the headphones and the lack o_ WHAT!?" dazai didn't sleep the night?
"daydreaming about the milf in the cafe?" yosano said with a smirk
dazai just acted innocent putting the headphones on laying in the sofa. his usually lazy spot.
"I will take it as a yes" she left for her office as well
the day passes faster when you dont have an angry blonde to scold you.and my tiger antics were right! it didn't pass 3pm and Mr kunikida was at the door of the agency full on ready to get in.but later forced to get back home by the president himself.... yup..
"Atsushi kun want me to walk him home?"
"huh?" I looked behind me.Dazai San?...
"we live in the same building. what do you think kyouka chan~?am I a better brother than that slug??" kyouka just gave him a look that you would give to a clown... that's the closest thing to dazai tone at the moment. not judging her much really...
"fiiiinnneeee" he pouted "I wanted to socialize as your very responsible mentor here was that so wrong?" he then looked away .but I can tell he was waiting for my answer as well ."yeah sure why not?" I saw no harm.plus if we all went home together at the same time.there will be no chance (or a little chance) of hearing a door cracking noise during the very middle of the night. that happened more than I care to admit actually.
dazai clapped his hands together "it's set now! I am walking you kids home!" kyouka held my hand as a sign to actually go through that door and get home already. well she need to do her hair routine early I guess.
we walked down the streets the three of us together.
dazai kept yapping about his new found suicide plan. maybe Mr Ranpo idea of buying cotton and stuff it in our ears was actually logical....thinking of it now..
I really need to listen to Ranpo more
"home sweet home!~" dazai cheered once we faced the building. kyouka already let go of me wasting no time to go inside. shit!....I almost forgot to buy a new set spoons (author:it will make sense trust me 💔).I need to go to the store now.
"troubled?" as if he knew what up to me
I forced a smile "just a question how will you react when your spoons and plates keeps magically disappearing" I can't tell if I was desperate or loosing it at this point
"asked kyouka ?" I noded
"happens often?" I nod again
"I would ask ranpo san~" ."about a disappearing spoons case?" I finished clearly unsatisfied with the answer "forget it I am buying a new set" I already hear him walking behind me... sometimes I appreciate the tiger senses
"nothing better to do?" I asked
"nope~" he cheerfully answered
always cheerful.. always Dazai ...always following... always w҈a҈t҈c҈h҈i҈n҈g҈
I kept walking without looking back .it's not like I didn't know who was behind me.finely I was in front of he store only then I turned to look at dazai.
"so?" I said
"so~?" he repeated teasingly
"...." I took a deep breath "does Dazai San have business with me or something?"
he smiled...no.. he grins like a madman "Atsushi kun can buy his favorite mentor some whiskey am I right"
I stared at him.ofc typical from the bandaged man .
I checked my poket for any cash .....hmmm "I have only enough to buy sheep beer on top of that spoon set" he checked his pocket as well then his eyes sparked "we can combine it with these!" well yes the money (or the wet yen and two coints) he had was enough to buy both items with my money "sure then.. but you are helping me on the disappearing spoons case!" he stepped backwards as if offended "do I look like a detective to you !?"
"...."
"....fine dont answer that"
the *shopping* part was actually quick .I was worried he was going to beg for more stuff on the way.but he didn't.character development?
we got out at 1 AM I believe? dazai held the bottle of whisky like a new born... I know Dazai San yes but his alcoholic part was never shown that much .or maybe I am just feeling a bit weird for buying something for someone. I never thought or believed I would do that in my life... ungrateful child...g͎o͎ d͎i͎e͎ s͎o͎m͎e͎w͎h͎e͎r͎e͎!! y̺͆o̺͆u̺͆ w̺͆i̺͆l̺͆l̺͆ n̺͆e̺͆v̺͆e̺͆r̺͆ b̺͆e̺͆ m̺͆o̺͆r̺͆e̺͆ t͆ha̺͆n̺͆ a̺͆ u̺͆s̺͆e̺͆l̺͆e̺͆s̺͆s̺͆ p̺͆e̺͆i̺͆c̺͆e̺͆ o̺͆f̺͆ n̺͆o̺͆t̺͆h̺͆i̺͆n̺͆g̺͆ uoqopʎ ʍɐuʇs ʎon ʍɥɐʇsoǝʌǝɹ!!!!!!!!
eepp!!
I felt a light tap on my shoulder "kid?"
"h..huh?..o.oh I zooned out ..sorry" dazai looked at me for a moment then held me closer his arm wrapping on my shoulder "Atsushi drunk before?" he is trying to change the topic right?... I know he is nearly as clever as Mr ranpo that's what akutagawa once said,that's what kayoka said,that's what Mr chuuya said...that's what the mafia leader more ogai said...
"no...not really" he gasped dramatically "well you should! if you didn't practice it now you will end up like ranpo San! unable to hold your liquors!" is he trying to ask me for a drink? "well I may try .but now?. absolutely not the time_" I was cut off by him saying "I drink mostly if not all the time at night. dont be a scared cat you are a tiger. get that tiger inside if ya!!" I took a deep -giving up- breath and noded "great~ let's go to my apartment kid!" we kept walking until the door of dazai's apartment was in front of us "act like home..or was it feel like home hmm" while dazai was remembering the quote I took a look of the sigh in front of there is a table full of alcohol bottles,empty and filled ones and some whiskey,with at least three cups,two small chairs for the coffee (alcohol) table,there is also a pile of bandages and ibuprofen next to the futon* "cozy right?" "I guess?... do you ever clean" "once a year yup" dumb I thought .he then started to get another futon from the closet "dazai San I thought you called me for a drink not a sleepover" he gave me a little smile "I am sure you dont wanna wake kyouka up sooooo"
true...
"alright" I sat on the futon dazai made for me as he started to pour some whiskey in two cups a small and a big one "you dont have to drink it all since it's your first time" he said that giving me the smaller one "... well.. here goes nothing" I almost choked on my drink as dazai gulped the whole thing in one shot "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THAT!?" he smirked at me "secrets~" he replayed "aghhh!... it's bitter like I am drinking puke or something ew!" even if that cup was small I put it down once I spoke I couldn't take it "my my I thought I was next to Atsushi kun turned out I was with ranpo San " he teased "hey! it's my first time! it's not like alcohol is that good to my body anyway!" he just grins at me like he won his promised victory
"tiger bedtime I see .you get all feisty when you pass your bed time?" "I_!" "go to sleep dear you had a long day of kunikida work on ya"... well.. I AM tired "what are you doing?" dazai started to cover me with a warm blanket "taking care of my guest" he patted my head and went to his own foton to rest as well.... it's feels warm in here.....and comfy...comfy and warm...
I slowly felt my eyelids grows heavy as I drifted to sleep....
"aaaaatttssssuuuusssshhhhiiii" hmmm.."kid!"
hmnmpphnm.
"THE MAFIA DESTROYED THE AGENCY SONIC AND SHADOW ARE DEAD WE ARE THE LAST SURVIVERS!!!"
...hmm..HUH?! "W.WHAT!?"
I woked up already standing up hearing that in full panic
"HAHAHA!! you should've seen your face OMG !"
"DAZAI THAT'S NOT FUNNY WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY apartm_" oh right... I am the one in the others apartment
"ha..haha " he wiped an imaginary tear "but for real I wanna tell you something"
I am still bitter about the way I woke up... my heart still beating super fast!! "what?" I said in kind of rude way
"hahaha I am leaving the agency kid I just wanted to say goodbye"
huh?... hold on this is another joke.. I told myself but looking around.. the cups...the randrom trash,dirty bandages even dazai futon,are all gone..the place is cleaner too I am the only actual mess here
"...w.what?" he laughed softly and leaned closer to repeat in my ear playfully
"iiiiiiiii aaaaaaammmmm lllleeeaaavvviiinnnggg tttthhheee aaaagggeeeennncccyyyyy bye~"
"w..why!?.. I thought we all fight for the people in Yokohama a.and
.and " he already leaned away,got up,...and "is Dazai San going back to the port mafia!?"
I panicked .really panicked. I hate it.I hate how my eyes are already full of tears.I hate how I am imagining the worse scinarios already. I hate how my hands are visibly shaking. I hate how w̺͆e̺͆a̺͆k̺͆ i̺͆ l̺͆o̺͆o̺͆k̺͆ r̺͆i̺͆g̺͆h̺͆t̺͆ n̺͆o̺͆w̺͆..."a.answe.r.. r.. m..me an....."
my voice cracked. I swear if this is a joke..... but... it doesn't seem to be ..I wish it was tho..
"oh poor thing" huh?. dazai looked down at me .a look you give to a stray cat..H.HEY! ☠️. he crouched down to my level petting my head
"I failed miserably on you huh?",
" h.huh? what are you talking about?" I said
"a real suicidal. a charming one to be specific as myself shouldn't let people get too attached to them.. I see that I failed with my dear Atsushi here"
... .... ...
" WAS THIS ALL A SUICIDE JOKE?? DO YPU NOT TAKE MY FEELINGS FOR GRANTED???!" I was cut off by an icy tone from Dazai
"you need to learn the difference between joke and reality. but I guess my level is too high for you to understand that so I will let that slide. no I am not going back to the mafia. it's the last thing I would do...calm your nerves".... ..."
wait...if...if you ARE leaving.. which is really a bad discission BTW I am going to come back to it later!. where.... "
WHERE WILL YOU GO . IF THE AGENCY NO LONGER YOUR INTEREST ?