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Yuji Itadori thinks Sendai could do with some more stars.
Not that he doesn't like his hometown or anything like that, but he thinks it would've been nice to look up at the stars when things got lonely. Between trips to the hospital, to school, and back to the hospital, Yuji spent the remainder of his time trying to settle with the fact that he was completely and utterly alone.
He thinks maybe if he had the stars to look up to, it wouldn't have been so bad.
At least, this is the hypothesis he came up with after spending his first few weeks at Jujutsu High. The view of the stars was incredible here! Tucked away in the mountains, there was no need to worry about light or buildings obstructing the way. He could see everything. Alot more than he ever could in Sendai.
It's a bit embarrassing to admit, but he'd quickly made a habit of sneaking out of his dorm late at night. On one hand, it was beautiful. Yuji's always enjoyed nature. On the other hand, it was one of the only ways Yuji knew how to relax. He needed that more than ever these days.
He wasn't going to pretend like that same loneliness that had plagued him for years had gone away. Sure, he wasn't really alone anymore— he had Fushiguro and Kugisaki now— but with the burden of a death sentence weighing over his head, Yuji sometimes still felt like he was the only one in the world dealing with a problem like this.
To be fair, he probably was. How many people end up becoming a vessel for some ancient demon? How many more have to die for it? He wages probably not many.
So, still as lonely as ever.
He knows that Fushiguro and Kugisaki do their best to be there for him. Underneath those painted nails that jab insults at him, and the spiky head of hair that's always grumbling about his idiocy, they do care. It's just...how could they understand?
He knows the life of every sorcery is limited; in a way they're all damned. But it's not like anyone else can say they have a ticking time bomb above their head. They can only do their best not to die and try to live as long as possible. Yuji, on the other hand, has no choice in it. No matter what he does, no matter how hard he trains, how strong he gets, he's doomed to die just the same.
It's for a good cause.
I'm saving people.
Yuji tries to make it sound a little less scary. But he's still a boy, and he is scared, terribly so. He's so scared it almost makes him sick. He wonders if a star is just as afraid to fizzle out and die.
Tonight is one of those nights where the fear of his future consumes him. He's been tossing and turning for what feels like hours—probably has been. He's watched as much of the night sky as he could from his own window, but it's a rather limited view. Nothing like what he could see if he actually walked around campus.
Yuji knows he can't lay here for much longer. He pulls himself out of his bed with a grunt, shoving his blanket haphazardly off his legs. He takes a moment to stretch his stiff limbs before squinting around his room. After a few moments of unsuccessfully searching, he turns his flashlight on and spots his slippers strewn about on the other side of the room.
Ah. He thinks. Gojo Sensei was the last person to use them.
It wasn't in his teacher's nature to put things back where he found them, so he wouldn't be too harsh about it. The two of them were a lot more alike than Yuji had originally thought. He'd learned that Gojo was definitely a bit lonely, too. But unlike Yuji, he had his walls way up high, too much for anybody to really reach. Yuji understands it to an extent, being so different from everyone else, and all.
Brushing off his thoughts about the tragedy of his favorite teacher, he tries to crack open the door as quietly as possible. It was late, and the last thing he wanted was to wake Fushiguro up. Both out of embarrassment and the fact that Fushiguro would smack the back of his head for disturbing his sleep in the morning. Seriously, he was way too strong for his own good.
He shuts the door slowly behind him, twisting the knob in an attempt to make as little noise as he could manage. His efforts were futile, because when he turns around to straighten up, he crashes into something with a thud.
It takes everything in Yuji to not scream. He lets out a rather pathetic yelp instead.
He recognizes the cold hand wrapped around his wrist, the spiky silhouette illuminated by the window behind them, and the raspy voice that had clearly just woken up speaking to him.
"Itadori." Fushiguro seems calm, at least. Yuji would've let out a sigh of relief if his heart wasn't still beating so fast from the scare. "Where do you keep going every night?"
"H-huh? I don't know what you mean." He manages to squeak out. "I'm just going for a walk!"
Fushiguro blinks at him, unimpressed. His friend truly was the worst liar in the world. "We share a wall, you know."
Yuji tries to search for any sort of defense, but it's obvious Fushiguro has been hearing him all this time. He can't really excuse his way out of that. "Oh...right." He straightens up. "Well, I really am going for a walk!"
"To?"
"Just around campus..."
"I'll come with you."
Yuji grimaces. Fushiguro was so cool! How was he supposed to explain to a guy like him that he was leaving every night to go look at the stars? "Shouldn't you get some rest? You have a mission tomorrow."
Fushiguro drops his wrist and crosses his arms instead. There's a crease in his brow when he speaks. "Why are you avoiding my question, Itadori?"
"I'm not.." Yuji pouts slightly as he talks, before giving in with a sigh. If Fushiguro was going to judge him, then it would be his fault for being so insistent! "You can come with. Just don't be mean."
"Why would I be mean?"
It only hits him what Yuji meant as the two of them get further and further away from the dorm building. Yuji is quiet, seemingly shy as they walk. The occasional crunch of a leaf and croak of a frog are the only things that break the silence between them.
Is Yuji nervous about getting caught? It's not like Fushiguro is the best with his own emotions, but even he understands the need for a walk sometimes. It's not like he'd ever judge the boy for that. He's got more on his plate than any of them at the moment. It's totally understandable. Maybe Yuji doesn't want to be seen as anything other than happy, he figures.
It's only when Yuji stops walking that Fushiguro snaps out of his thoughts and realizes that they're nearly at the edge of campus now. Fushiguro watches in confusion as his friend plops to the ground right there on the spot and pats the space next to him. "What?"
"Sit. You wanted to know what I've been doing, so sit."
Fushiguro obliges with a grumble, the grass slightly damp as he settles on it. It's cold against his pajamas. He glances over at Yuji, tilting his head. "You come out here... to lay on some grass?"
Yuji shakes his head. "Not that." He leans back some more, until his head is resting against the ground. Then, he raises up a finger to point at the sky. "To stargaze."
Fushiguro makes a noise of understanding as he follows the trail of his finger. Wow. It really was visible out here. He briefly wonders how long Yuji must have been wandering around to even find this spot. He joins him on his back, close enough that their hair slightly brushes against each other. "You didn't want to show me this?"
Yuji smiles sheepishly. "You don't seem like the type to enjoy this, is all."
"I like the stars."
"Really!?" Yuji nearly sits up after hearing that. His eyes are sparkling now, rivaling the sky as he turns his attention to the boy next to him. "Do you know anything about them!? Since you're so smart and all!"
Fushiguro holds back a smile at the praise. He thinks long and hard, digging back into the corners of his mind. "Gojo told me some stuff when I was a kid. But knowing him, he was probably lying."
Yuji snickers. "Probably."
"Tsumiki knows a lot about them. You can...ask her when she wakes up. She'd like to do this."
"Did you watch them with her?"
Yuji watches as Fushiguro nod wordlessly.
Huh. Maybe him and Fushiguro weren't so different after all.
"You don't have to come out here alone, Itadori." Fushiguro keeps his gaze steady above him. It's so beautiful out tonight, yet Itadori can't seem to look away from the way Fushiguro's eyes gleam under the moonlight. He almost forgets to respond.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing... just...my room is right next door. If you, you know..."
If you need me. Yuji knows what he's trying to say. He knows he's not the most feeling type. Yet here he was, like countless times before, trying to reach out to him. Yuji doesn't necessarily understand why he's so persistent.
He'll be dying and leaving Fushiguro behind soon enough—but it feels good, and Yuji wants. He wants to take Fushiguro up on that offer. He wants to learn more about his own loneliness. He wants to come to his door when his chest is aching. He wants to pour his heart out into the boy's cold hands, to be soothed by that gentleness that Fushiguro uses on nobody but him.
Yeah. Yuji was sure Fushiguro wouldn't have extended that offer to any other classmate. He's sure now, that Fushiguro cares more than he'll ever admit. Despite Yuji's distance, despite the short life he has ahead of him, Fushiguro isn't driven away. Instead, he's offering to take on a share of his burdens with him.
Yuji cracks a wobbly smile. "You're a weird guy."
He watches as Fushiguro's lips slightly curve up, letting out a soft huff at his words. "And you're not?"
"We both are." Yuji says matter-of-factly.
Fushiguro's rolling his eyes, but he's clearly touched by the sentiment. The idea of the two of them together is admittedly pretty nice. Yuji thinks they both can agree upon that.
"Just don't be an idiot. I saved you for a reason."