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Killua stormed into the apartment with a bang of the door. He chucked his keys to the side, threw down his bag and flopped onto the couch. Pressing his face into his hands, he wished he could fade out of existence.
Alluka, who had witnessed this all from where she was reading at the table, sighed. A look through his hands revealed she was reading Twilight. Again. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing’s wrong,” he said, staring up at the ceiling. “Nothing at all.”
“Rightttt,” Alluka replied, flipping to the next page of her book.
He allowed the silence to swallow him until his thoughts became too loud to keep inside. “Gon wants me to go with him to Aunt Mito’s.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?” she asked, not even giving him the curtesy of looking up. “He wants to hang out with you… like he always does.”
“Gon wants me to go with him and a girl,” he said pointedly.
That got her to look up with a frown. “She’s probably really nice.”
Killua groaned. “I know she would be! I just don’t understand—he’s never brought a girl to Aunt Mito’s before. He’s never brought anyone there before!”
“He’s brought you there before.”
“Not in the way I would like,” he said, trying not to sound too broken up about it.
“You so sure about that?” Alluka muttered.
Killua ignored her comment. “So what do you think? Do you think he’s dating her or something? If so, why hasn’t he told me about her before? And why would he invite me along with him?”
“Did you ever consider asking him these questions yourself?”
“Of course not!”
“How about I ask him for you?”
Killua’s blood went cold. “You wouldn’t.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” she said with a snort. “But you do realise that you’re going to have to tell him how you feel someday?”
“I know,” he said glumly.
That was the most pathetic part of all of this. How completely down bad he was for Gon. How long he’d been down bad for him.
He really thought he’d have gotten over it at some point. He’d tried to get over it, he really had. But no one knew him like Gon did. No one was as kind or lovely or good. No one else’s gaze made him feel so seen or lightheaded with want. No one could compete. Everyone else paled in comparison.
And not once, in the entire time they’d been friends, had Gon shown any sign that he felt the same way.
So Killua had wearily accepted that this would be his life. To pine forever after Gon. Killua didn’t even mind it most of the time. It was better than the alternative; of not loving Gon. He couldn’t even imagine such a thing.
So although Killua hated it, Killua would accept whatever Gon was willing to give him. Even if it hurt sometimes, and even though he wished they were something more. This was enough. It would have to be enough.
“What I would give for Gon to feel even an ounce of how I feel for him,” he blurted.
Alluka snorted. “You’re so sappy.”
“I know,” he said miserably, scrubbing his face. “I’ve gotta get a hold of myself.”
Alluka studied him thoroughly for a moment, thinking over her words, before she said, “You know… you wouldn’t need to do much at all to get him to like you.”
Killua stiffened. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” Alluka said with a sigh, “that you have a shot.”
Killua’s skin itched at just the thought. He couldn’t imagine it.
“There’s no way. Gon doesn’t like anyone, let alone me.”
“Have you asked him?”
“I don’t need to! Surely if I had a shot there would be a sign of it? I haven’t seen him so much as blush in front of me.”
Alluka gave him a skeptical look. “Really?”
“Gon has never liked anyone. I’ve been with him for basically our whole lives, I think I would be able to notice if he ever started liking me.”
“Absolutely hopeless,” Alluka muttered under her breath, before returning her gaze to her book, a telltale sign she’d given up on him. Nothing would get her to pay attention to him again, not until she’d finished her book or got bored.
Killua resigned himself to cleaning the house or going for a jog or doing some sparring practice, anything besides sitting with this anxiety unfurling within him.
Then his phone buzzed multiple times in succession. He checked it, heart quickening when he saw a string of messages from Gon.
Gon: mito’s so excited to see you :D
Gon: also she wants to know if you’d prefer brownies or cookies
Gon: nvm she’s making both!!
Killua: tell her there’s no need
Gon: nope. not gonna do that
Killua rolled his eyes with a smile. He hesitated for a moment before switching chats and writing his next message.
Killua: Good evening Aunt Mito, I’m excited to see you too.
Mito: Hello love! It’s been so long :) Hope you’re doing well and you still have that sweet tooth.
Killua: Thank you, and yes I do.
Mito: Glad to hear it. Have a great night, darling.
Killua’s heart clenched in his chest. Despite Mito being in his life for a decade now, her kind words still caught him off guard.
Killua: Goodnight.
He switched back to Gon.
Gon: she’ll bake it all for you whether you want it or not
Gon: i think she secretly likes to make so much so she can eat the extras
Gon: don’t tell her I said that
Killua: if that’s her worst secret, i dont think thats so bad
Gon: what, you got some terrible secret i dont know about?
Killua bit his inner cheek, unsure how to respond. He had so many secrets it was overwhelming. The most pressing being: I’m in love with you, to embarrassing ones like: i think the way you drool when you sleep is cute. He didn’t think Gon would want to hear any of those and was just trying to think of a way to avoid the question when Gon messaged him again.
Gon: just kidding 😅
Gon: ive gotta go have dinner
Gon: hope your insomnia is better tonight
Gon: ill see you tomorrow!
Gon: and say hello to alluka for me!
Killua: night
Gon: goodnight!!! 💕💕
Killua’s heart fluttered at the emojis but he had long since learned not to read into such things from Gon. Despite that, Killua felt better. Whatever was going on with that girl didn’t matter. Whether Gon liked her or not, Gon and Mito still, for whatever reason, loved and accepted him into their life. Wanted him in their life. He didn’t think he could ever properly repay them for it.
The morning was hectic. He barely got any sleep and gave up on getting more around 4am and went for a run instead. He then worked the morning shift at the cafe, so zoned out he was surprised that his boss didn’t reprimand him and then he helped Alluka with her newest dress. About a year ago, after realising he could save a lot of money making his own clothes instead of buying, he’d asked her to teach him how to sew. Since then, whenever she had a new vision or dress idea she put him to work. It was always worth the effort when he saw how she glowed at their new creation, twirling around the room and wearing it for a week straight. Plus, it was nice to spend time with her.
Now Alluka and Killua sat side by side on the table, surrounded by the fabric of her current project when she straightened up with a stretch. She rubbed her eyes before blinking at him, as though surprised he was there. “Uh, shouldn’t you have headed off already?
Killua froze and glanced at the time. “Shit. You’re right,” he said, sprinting to his room to collect his things. “I’ll help you with the rest when I can!“
“No need!” she called. On his way out, Alluka yelled, “Have fun on your date!”
I wish, Killua thought.
1.
A thirty minute drive later and Killua was pulling into the driveway of Aunt Mito’s house.
It was immediately apparent why she’d asked for the help. The garden was overgrown and overtaken by weeds, so much so he had to park his motorbike far away so it wouldn’t get tangled. The grass had grown to his knees and he waded through it to reach the front door.
He barely had to knock before it swung open to reveal the toothy grin of Gon. Killua’s heart fluttered at the sight.
“Killua!” Gon beamed, before pulling him into a massive hug like they hadn’t seen each other just yesterday.
Killua gave him a gentle squeeze back, hoping Gon couldn’t feel how rapidly his heart was beating. “Hi.”
Gon released him only to drag him inside, tugging him along until they found Aunt Mito in the kitchen. She was peering down at a recipe, flour on her temple and grease across her apron.
“Killua’s here!” Gon announced.
She looked up, eyes immediately creasing into a smile. She spread her arms open into a hug that Killua only hesitated slightly to reciprocate. He still wasn’t used to such open affection. “Killua it’s been too long,” she said, eyes scanning over his face. “Gosh, you get more and more handsome every time I see you.”
“Mito,” Gon said, strained.
“What? It’s true!”
Killua blushed and quietly said, “Thank you.”
Mito let him go and leaned against the counter. “As you can see the garden needs a lot work, so I understand if it’s too much.”
Killua shook his head. “Not at all, I’m happy to help.”
She smiled warmly. “I appreciate it. Afraid I’m not quite as spry as I used to be, wouldn’t want to pull my back.”
“You’re only thirty-five!” Gon laughed.
“Well why push myself when I’ve got you boys to do it for me? Besides, at the end of it you get sweets, so no complaining.
Killua watched them bicker for a bit, feeling himself relax. This felt like family. Like home.
Eventually, Mito let them go and they stepped out into the garden, door shuttering behind them.
It was warm and clear but if they were going to be outside all day, he would need to be careful. If he wasn’t, he was sure to get burnt and a scolding from Alluka.
As though reading his mind, Gon ruffled through his bag and produced a bottle of sunscreen.
“Thanks,” Killua said as he took it, hoping he sounded normal. Every time Gon was observant or attentive, Killua fell a little bit more in love. Then again, anything Gon did made him fall a little bit more in love.
“Wouldn’t want you to become a tomato,” Gon said.
“Ha,” Killua replied, plopping on the sunscreen and smearing it over his exposed arms and legs. Gon watched him as he did so, his mouth quirked up teasingly.
“Shut up,” Killua glared. “It’s not my fault I can’t tan like you.”
Receiving only a grin in response, Killua began smearing a wad of sunscreen over his face. He was careful to make sure it all absorbed into his skin, going over it a few times for good measure but—
“You missed a bit,” Gon said, pointing at his own chin.
Killua mimicked the motion on himself. “Did I get it?”
Gon shook his head and repeated the movement.
Killua tried but he must have failed again because Gon sighed and said, “No, here,” before stepping forward and suddenly Killua could barely breathe.
Gon’s thumb swiped at his chin. He was so close Killua could feel his breath fan over his bottom lip. The exchange couldn’t have lasted more than two seconds before Gon withdrew and stepped back but his touch still lingered, leaving Killua’s chin, jaw, and lips all tingling.
Killua ducked his head and chewed at his inner cheek hard, praying to all hell that the flush on his face could be attributed to the heat.
“Thanks,” he muttered.
“All good!” Gon said, before he turned to get some supplies for the garden, completely unaffected.
It wasn’t fair. Here, Killua felt like he was on fire and Gon felt nothing. If only Killua could affect him back even a tenth as much, it would make all of this worth it somehow. But no matter what Alluka said, Killua couldn’t see it happening. Gon didn’t feel that way for him.
It reminded him of what had prompted his conversation with Alluka last night—the reason for his despair: The girl that Gon was inviting to Aunt Mito’s.
“Where’s uh… what was her name again?” Killua asked when Gon returned with a wheelbarrow of shovels, gloves and weed spray.
“Hm?” Gon cocked his head, his brows scrunched together for a moment before they relaxed. “Oh Retz? Yeah, she had to come early but she already left.”
Killua’s mind raced with all the things they could’ve been doing together, just the two of them. “She already came over?”
“Yeah, she wanted to see the garden because she’s a massive nerd for plants and weeds, if you can believe it. I figured Mito wouldn’t mind me showing her around so when she asked to see it, I said yes.” Gon spoke so nonchalantly as though Retz’ reasoning wasn’t absurd, but Killua didn’t believe that excuse one second. He almost felt sorry for her. She’d probably been trying to shoot her shot with Gon and he’d been completely oblivious to it. Gon continued, “But she ended up having to leave for some appointment so it’ll just be us now.”
Killua couldn’t help it. A warmth bloomed in his chest, the way it always did when he had full unobstructed access to Gon and his attention. Most of all, he felt relief. Retz wasn’t someone Gon wanted to introduce to Mito. It sounded like, at most, she was an acquaintance. Gon hadn’t been hiding some relationship from him. He hadn’t been hiding anything at all.
He turned to the task at hand and, together, they worked to weed the garden.
The sun beamed down on them, hot on their backs. It was hard but satisfying work, though Killua thought most of that satisfaction was due to being with Gon. By the time they’d finished weeding about half the garden, the dregs tossed into a pile, Killua’s face was hot and drenched with sweat. He was sure that his sunscreen had melted off and he kept having to tuck his hair behind his ears so that it wouldn’t get in his eyes. When he did so for what felt like the hundredth time, he huffed and, hand over his eyes, peered up at the sun, urging it to go away. It beamed back at him unflinchingly.
Killua frowned and allowed himself to watch Gon briefly, if only to make himself feel better. Gon barely seemed to be breaking a sweat, truly an outdoor kid through and through. The only sign of struggle at all was the slight gleam to the bronze of his skin. The bunch to his muscles. The flex of his forearms…
Killua whipped his head away with a frown. Get a grip, he told himself.
His frown deepened at the feeling of hair scratching at the back of his neck. His hair had gotten long recently and although he didn’t mind the way it looked, on a hot day like this, it got so clumpy and in the way he was tempted to cut it all off.
Killua lazily carded his fingers through his hair, and used the band on his wrist to tie it up. He made a pleased noise at the immediate relief, ready to turn his attention back to the garden but paused when he noticed Gon had stilled beside him.
Gon was staring, a slight dazed look in his eyes, right at Killua. The shovel he’d been holding had fallen to the ground beside him.
Killua immediately reached to touch his face, sure that Gon must be looking at his sunscreen melting off. “Is something wrong?”
“No, it’s just—“ Gon’s voice broke, and he coughed into his fist, eyes now strangely focussed on the dirt in front of him. “There’s nothing wrong.”
“Okay…”
“Really! You just… Never mind. It’s all good now.”
And that was that.
Gon continued as though nothing had happened, so Killua pretended to do the same, resisting the urge to find a mirror. What had Gon been staring at?
The thought raced in his head for half an hour.
In the end, Killua slathered on another layer of sunscreen, giving in to the greasiness of his skin, and let the thought go.
After all, if he already looked horrific enough to stop Gon in his tracks, it couldn’t hurt to look any worse.
2.
“This is your fault,” Killua grumbled.
“How?”
“I don’t know… I’ll find a reason eventually.”
Despite all his efforts and the multiple layers of sunscreen, Killua had gotten burnt. Very burnt.
Luckily it was limited to his face but it was sure to peel like crazy later. Mito had already treated him with aloe vera and a cool wet towel, but it still hurt. Not terribly, but enough to irritate him.
Gon hummed. “I’ll have to make it up to you then.”
Killua blushed and was suddenly grateful for the burn, his thoughts spiralling to less than proper ways Gon could make it up to him with. He forced his brain onto a more appropriate path.
“Get me some chocolate?” he offered.
“Haven’t you already had, like, a dozen of Mito’s cookies?”
“Are you saying you won’t get me more?”
Gon huffed a laugh. “No, but I’m a little scared to think what would happen if we left you to your own devices in a room full of chocolate.”
“I wouldn’t eat all of it.”
“But you would do your damn best of it.”
Killua pouted, and it must’ve been visible because Gon relented with another laugh.
“Alright, alright, I’ve got chocolate stashed for this very occasion.”
“Chocolate stashed for me?”
“Who else would it be for?” Gon paused. “Don’t tell Alluka though, I don’t want her mad at me.”
“Can’t make any promises.”
Gon went off and Killua stayed where he was, miserable from the burn. But there was a bright side; He was in Gon’s bed.
He didn’t purposefully sniff Gon’s pillows or anything but even without doing so, Gon’s smell enveloped him, comforted him. Something woodsy and warm and distinctly Gon left him relaxed and lightheaded. He was too pained to feel creepy about it.
He slowly inhaled and exhaled, trying to distract himself from the pain, his body relaxing and energy draining and before he knew it he’d drifted off.
Killua woke slowly. Usually, it was an instantaneous thing, but he felt strangely relaxed and comfortable and his body didn’t want to pull away from it. He’d have let himself be lured back into sleep but there was this shaking sound that kept jolting him awake until he eventually blinked his eyes open, immediately finding the source. Gon hunched over his desk, face screwed up in concentration, leg jumping up and down continuously.
Killua propped himself up and the movement caught Gon’s attention. His smile was small and endearing. “Hi,” Gon said.
Killua swiped a hand through his hair. “How long was I asleep?”
“About half an hour. I barely left for a minute and you completely conked out. You must be exhausted.“
Killua pressed down the fluttering in his chest. “It’s not that bad. Just had to pick up some extra shifts recently.”
Taking care of both himself and Alluka wasn’t easy. There was so much to think about. So much to pay for that had once gone paid without a thought. But ever since they’d escaped and he found himself in charge without his family’s money or connections, his ignorance was all thrust into harsh reality.
He was completely unprepared for being responsible for the two of them, but he persisted. Even though it sometimes felt like he was drowning, barely scraping through. It was better, so much better than letting Alluka staying there.
All of this would be worth it. It was already worth it. And if he had to lose some sleep, so be it. Killua would sacrifice anything for her.
Gon nodded but his jaw was clenched, like he didn’t fully believe him. “Sleep some more? I don’t mind, I’ve got some work to do anyway,” he said, gesturing to the papers in front of him.
Killua could easily fall asleep again if he let himself succumb to it. Its draw tugged at the edges of his mind, the warmth from his previous nap not fully sapped away. Then he remembered something important. “What happened to my chocolate?”
“It’s right here,” Gon said, pulling out a plastic bag that was stuffed full of chocolate bars. “Ready for when you wake up.”
“That’s all for me?”
“Yep.”
“As it should be.”
“Spoilt,” Gon said with a quirk of his lips, eyes warm.
Killua turned to his side, his cheek pinging from the burn and the soft expression on Gon’s face, but the lure of sleep was stronger. He felt his eyes grow heavy again but he kept them steady on Gon.
“It’s okay, really,” Gon insisted. “Get some rest.”
“You sure?” Killua mumbled.
“Of course,” Gon said, and then Killua was out like a light.
He slept better than he had in ages.
At first, there was the sweet bliss of unbroken nothing. The type of sleep so deep, you couldn’t remember it. He very rarely experienced this. His sleep was fragmented and shallow, the smallest sound waking him, but if there was any sound this time, he didn’t hear it. He slept until the dreams came. They were of warm strong arms, of fingers combing gently through his hair, of lips pressed to his temple, the smell of earth and pine and home.
Then the warmth pulled away, and so did the comfort.
He frowned and whined, “Don’t go.”
It didn’t return straight away but eventually he felt a light touch to his cheek and he melted into it, making a pleased sound. In his dreams he let himself believe this was Gon. The only place he could fully do so. The touch was gentle and warm and Dream Gon brushed his hair once more before withdrawing again. Killua frowned, feeling drifty, like he was returning to wakefulness.
“Gon,” he whispered, hoping he would come back.
When the touch still didn’t return, he begged, “Gon, I need you.”
There was a loud bang and he jumped, suddenly awake.
The last of the evening sun poured into his bleary eyes as he tried to find the source of the noise. He squinted, and saw Gon standing stock still, staring at him, a book at his feet.
“Gon?”
Gon blinked, mouth opening and closing a few times, before he turned and walked out the room, without a word.
Killua stared at the empty doorway, confused.
The details of the dream curled right at the edge of his brain, just out of reach. He remembered the warmth but nothing else.
Well, he thought, it couldn’t have been that important. He scrubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up. He better see where Gon had ran off to.
3.
Gon was avoiding him.
It was subtle, but nothing was ever completely subtle with Gon. Killua caught onto the change immediately. It started the day after he had helped at Aunt Mito’s. After Gon had ran off. Gon had acted normal enough then, explaining away his departure by saying he thought Mito had called out for him. It sounded plausible enough, for what reason would Gon have to lie?
Yet Gon must’ve lied.
They had made plans days ago to meet up for lunch. Lunches between them usually lasted ages, hours flying by without them noticing it. On more than one occasion, Killua had run late for some shifts or appointment after completely losing track of time.
But this lunch couldn’t have lasted more than fifteen minutes. Gon arrived, stiffly greeted Killua, ordered one muffin that he stuffed down before running off again. Killua was left alone, muffin crumbs scattered across the table—the only sign that Gon had been there at all. It felt like a slap to the face.
Killua took in several deep inhales and exhales, before gulping down his coffee and leaving too.
Later, Killua texted Gon asking if he was okay and he only replied with a simple: of course!! 😊
Killua liked the message, but the distance between them lingered.
Throughout the next week, no matter how many times Killua asked, Gon always insisted he was fine. But he could never quite make direct eye-contact with him. That was, if he ever showed up in the first place. Most of their interactions had been through text. Every meetup Killua tried to organise falling through at the last second for one reason or another, always from Gon’s side.
Killua wanted to know why.
He wanted to know what he had done wrong.
He wanted to know how to help him—what was so terrible that Gon didn’t feel comfortable sharing it with him.
He thought of the day at Mito’s, the last time things had been normal between them, and came away with nothing. He couldn’t recall anything that could’ve caused such a change.
It pulled painfully—the idea that Gon was hiding something from him. Hypocritical, he knew, considering the massive LOVE-shaped secret he himself was hiding, but painful nonetheless.
So Killua gave up. He went silent, left to simmer in his frustration and sadness. The fact that his face was peeling and itchy from the burn wasn’t helping in the least.
He had so more energy brewing inside him, he had to funnel somewhere. He wanted to aim it at Gon. Yell at him, punch him, kiss him, anything, but since that was out of the question he had to do what he knew best.
The slam of the bag against his fists rattled through his arms, to his core. He threw his all into each punch, uncaring of the sweat dripping down his brow or the soreness to his muscles. It was a good distracting pain. He could almost forget about the ache in his heart like this, when his lungs were burning for oxygen and his body was screaming for a break. He felt his knuckles bruise but he kept going.
He had the technique to not truly damage himself, but it was a close thing. Despite the fact he’d been going for almost two hours, he still had so much energy to burn, the bubbling anxiety not letting up. He continued, shifting quickly, light on his feet as he concentrated his attention to the target in front of him, the only sound the harshness of his breaths, the steady beat of his fists against the bag.
It was predictable, easy.
Every time he thought he’d cleared his mind of Gon, memories of his forced smile, his averted eyes, the impossible-to-navigate distance between them would flash in his mind, driving him to punch harder, to relish in the sting to his flesh.
It was only when Killua staggered, almost tripping over his feet, that he realised he’d pushed himself enough. He dropped his arms, the muscles in his shoulders singing in relief, chest heaving.
Now that he’d stilled, he felt the soreness to his body, the sweat that clung to his skin, hair sticking to his forehead and the back of his neck. His heart thrummed in his chest. He felt completely run through, wrung out.
Massaging the rawness to his knuckles, he made his way to the locker room. With each step, he felt his muscles twinge and resigned himself to taking a few days rest. He was tempted to push himself further, but an injury would only make him feel worse. He had Alluka to take care of, after all.
After opening his locker, he gulped down a whole bottle of water. Then he reached for his towel, looking forward to wiping the sweat from his face, but failed to find it. He cursed under his breath. In his haste to get here, he must’ve left it at home.
The gym provided towels for a small fee, but he was hesitant to spend money on anything that wasn’t completely necessary.
So with no other choice, Killua took the bottom of his shirt and raised it to wipe his face.
He heard a choked sound from beside him.
Gym gear on, standing at the entrance to the locker room, was Gon.
Both of them froze, staring at each other.
For a few seconds, the two of them remained silent. Time dragged painfully. Killua had so much he wanted to say, but words suddenly failed him. He couldn’t help but soak up the sight of Gon anyway. Even after hurting him, Gon was a soothing balm to his soul.
Then Gon coughed awkwardly into his fist. “Uh, hi,” he said with a small wave.
A sudden rush of frustration rose. After everything, after all the silence and ignored messages and distance, that was how Gon greeted him? “Is that all you have to say to me?” he asked, venom lacing his voice.
Gon ducked his head, still saying nothing. Killua was about ready to walk away when Gon looked up again, his eyes glistening with tears. Killua’s hackles immediately dropped. The fight drained out of him. In its stead, was worry.
“Are you okay?” he asked. He felt the urge to draw closer, to hug him, reassure him. But despite all their years of friendship, that sort of intimacy still didn’t come easy to Killua. Any touch between them was always initiated by Gon. So Killua stayed where he was, feeling hopeless.
Gon sniffled.
“Sorry,” Gon said. “I didn’t mean to—I was meant to apologise when I next saw you, not… do this.”
“You can still apologise,” Killua said reflexively.
Gon huffed a wet laugh and rubbed at his eyes. When his hand dropped, his gaze was clear, if a bit red. “I’m sorry for the past week. I’m sorry for ignoring you. I’m sorry for everything.” He sounded truly miserable.
Killua studied him—the stoop to his shoulders, the bags under his eyes. He looked awful. “Why did you do it?” he asked.
Gon’s swiped a hand through his hair. “I want to tell you, I really do. But I still don’t quite know the answer myself.” A small humourless laugh. Killua had so many questions but he let Gon continue with interruption. “I promise I’ll tell you when I figure it out but I just—I need time to… process.”
“Process,” Killua repeated.
“It should only be a little longer.”
The distance still hurt, but he knew what it was like to have no control of your thoughts or emotions. In his position, Gon would give him the grace and space to process. Killua wanted to give it in return. Plus, he missed him.
“And you promise to tell me everything when you’re ready?”
“Everything.”
And that was enough.
“Okay,” he said.
Because of course it was. Killua trusted him with everything. He trusted Gon’s word—he would tell him everything one day and it would all be okay.
Gon’s face brightened. “Thank you,” he said with a smile.
Killua felt his cheeks heat. “Don’t be stupid.”
Gon’s mouth remained curled upwards. “Want to meet up for lunch on Saturday?”
Unable to help being a little petty, he said, “No running out this time?”
“No running out,” Gon replied, sheepish.
“Can we go to that new chocolate cafe?”
“Of course,” Gon said. “I was going to recommend it anyway.”
Killua smiled, his chest already feeling lighter, but one thing still niggled at the back of his brain. He had to force the words out, his voice cracking on the last few. “Can you tell me something? It’s… it’s not my fault, is it? I didn’t do something wrong?”
Gon’s face fell. “No. Not at all, Killua. No,” he repeated. He sucked in a deep breath. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. You didn’t do anything wrong at all, trust me… It’s all me.”
Killua nodded, but Gon’s words sounded like so many of his fears. “It’s not you, it’s me” had cropped up more than once in his nightmares—a reminder that he should never let Gon know how he truly feels, lest it ruin their friendship.
Still, it was a relief to know that, this time at least, it wasn’t his fault.
“And you’re okay?” Killua asked.
It was a stupid question. Of course Gon wasn’t okay—he’d just cried in front of him. But he needed to know that he wasn’t in immediate danger, that he was safe.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Gon said. “Just in a bit of a funk.“
Killua smiled. “You better message me back tonight then. If you don’t, I’ll break into your house and take all your plants.”
“You don’t need to break in, you have a key,” Gon said, amused.
“The point stands.”
“I’ll message you tonight, I promise.”
4.
Gon kept his promise.
Everything returned to normal. Their texts resumed their usual frequency. They called every night. More than once Killua woke to a million messages, Gon ranting about some new animal he’d learnt about or a new recipe he wanted to try.
Killua was being run ragged at work and it was a relief to have something to look forward to in the small gaps of time between shifts. A single message from Gon fuelling him for hours.
It would be a lie to say that he wasn’t curious about what had upset Gon so much, but the knowledge that he would come to him when he was ready made it easy to forget and simply enjoy having Gon by his side again.
The cafe was packed.
The waitress greeted them brightly and waved them through immediately when Gon mentioned he’d made a reservation. Killua looked at him in surprise.
“Had to make sure we got a table,” Gon explained with a shrug. “Didn’t want to disappoint you again.”
They were showed to their table and it became immediately clear that this was a spot for couples. Everywhere Killua looked there were people holding hands or sharing food or staring deeply into each other’s eyes. The air stunk with the sticky sweetness of people in love and chocolate and Killua felt like an intruder.
Killua wondered if they stood out—if it was obvious to everyone in close proximity that they’d mistakenly stumbled in here. But no one batted an eye. Killua’s face heated at what that meant. That people must be looking at Gon and Killua and assuming they were a couple too. Gon seemed to be oblivious to all of it, relaxed in his chair, and peering across the cafe as though this was the most normal thing in the world.
Killua skin itched so he snatched the menu, hoping to distract himself. Killua’s mouth watered immediately. Everything looked delicious and he had no idea how he was going to pick, especially when he considered the lightness to his wallet, the bills that needed to be paid. No matter how much he wanted the Mega Chocolate Volcano, or the Chocolate Waterfall, he couldn’t justify buying them.
Killua um’ed and ah’ed about it over and over again, knowing he should pick the cheapest thing off the menu but being unable to admit it to himself. After reading through the menu for the dozenth time, Killua let out a big sigh and Gon took pity on him.
“Why not have it all?”
“I can’t afford it.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Gon said. “I’ll pay for you.”
Killua narrowed his eyes. “Why do I get the feeling I’m being bribed?”
Gon smiled. “Bribed into what?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Order what you want then.”
Killua stared. Gon truly meant to pay for everything. “If you say so,” he said slowly. “But I’ll pay you back when I can.”
“There’s no need,” Gon replied but Killua ignored him and returned to the menu.
Now that he’d been given permission, the possibilities were endless. He kept making suggestions on what he wanted to order, waiting for Gon to cut him off, to say that he’d had enough but he never did. So when the waitress finally came and Killua rattled off his order, her eyes widened in alarm.
“Um, this is for the two of you, yes?”
“Yep.”
She looked down at her notebook, where their order had taken up three whole pages.
“We’ll be able to eat it all,” Gon reassured her.
She smiled hesitantly but took the order to the kitchens anyway.
All that was left to do was wait. Killua looked across at Gon to find his gaze already on him, steady on his face. Killua’s cheeks heated at his attention and without the menu to distract him, he became aware again of what this looked like. That this was as close to a date as he’d even get with Gon.
If Gon was thinking similarly, he didn’t show it. His posture was relaxed and he looked… good. Hair brushed and falling attractively over his eyes. He’d shaved the stubble he sometimes let grow out, and his shirt fit nicely over his shoulders, not a wrinkle in sight. It wasn’t fair, how good he looked sometimes. But Killua was glad. It was better than a sad Gon. Just remembering the shine to Gon’s tearful eyes made his heart hurt.
But wait… Killua looked him over again, taking in the details. Had Gon… ironed his clothes? Gon hated ironing his clothes.
“You look nice,” he said, suspicion leaking into his voice.
Gon was unfazed. “Thank you. So do you, as always.”
The compliment, cheesy as it was, made Killua flush. But he drove onwards, unable to let it go. “Why did you dress so nice?”
“I can’t dress up every once in a while?”
Killua frowned. “I suppose.”
Gon smiled at him, no nerves in sight. He shrugged, “I wanted to look good for you.” His voice sounded frighteningly genuine but it had to be a lie. Gon must be teasing him. Killua’s shoulders shot up, his blush brightening.
“Shut up,” he said. “Don’t stay stuff like that.”
“Why not?” Gon asked.
“Because…” Because you don’t mean it. “Because it’s weird.”
“I don’t think it’s weird.”
“We’re friends,” Killua said, and he couldn’t believe he had to explain this right now. “Friends aren’t supposed to—“
“Here you go,” said the waitress, arms full of plates, cutting him off. She went about setting them all out on the table, and the sudden appearance of chocolate distracted him from what he was saying. He let it distract him from what he was saying. She put down plate after plate, then returned to the kitchen to get even more plates and put those down too. There was barely enough space on the table to fit them all, but she somehow managed, even if some had to jut out precariously.
“Enjoy,” she said, concern lining her face. “And uh, let us know if you need anything.”
With everything set out, Killua looked at the spread before him and, completely genuinely, asked, “Is that all?”
“Is that all?” Gon barked a laugh. “That’s enough for a family of people.”
Killua could admit it was a lot of food but it wasn’t that much. Even without Gon he could eat it all easily. “Must be a small family.”
“No you just have a massive sweet tooth.” Gon shook his head in amused disbelief.
Feeling no need to argue further when he had chocolate right in front of him, he dove into the stash.
All conversation ceased. Killua ate without any rhyme or reason, taking spoonfuls randomly as he pleased. Any attempts to slow down and savour the food failed. In the end, he let himself enjoy without a care, eating as fast as he wanted. It was all so delicious he couldn’t help but make little happy noises with each bite, eyes rolling back at particular good mouthfuls.
Life was good. He had chocolate and Gon and he made the mental note to take Alluka here too. She wasn’t quite the sweet tooth he was but she would love it here anyway.
By the time they were done, it looked like a crime scene. Dirty plates and streaks of chocolate everywhere. Crumbs scattered across the table. He’d eaten everything so ravenously and quickly, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that he made a mess. But he still felt bad and cleaned up what he could so the waitress didn’t have to deal with it all. He knew what it was like to deal with messy customers.
He wiped down the table, and stacked the plates, and picked up any food that had fallen to the ground.
When he was done, he sat back, satisfied and pleasantly full.
“Enjoyed yourself?” Gon asked with an amused smile.
Killua nodded. “Still think I can fit in some more though. Wanna get some desert later? Kidding,” he added when Gon started to choke.
A peaceful silence stretched between them.
“I would like to come here again,” Gon said, his voice soft.
Killua felt pleased but confused. Surely by now Gon had realised this was a cafe spot for couples? But he mustn’t have or he wouldn’t be saying such a thing. With the knowledge that Gon remained oblivious, Killua told the truth, “Me too.”
Gon smiled, opened his mouth like he wanted to say something else but then his gaze fixated to something on Killua’s face.
“You got a little…” Gon said.
“Chocolate?”
“Yeah.”
“Here?”
“Yeah, just by your mouth.”
Killua’s tongue darted to the spot, tasting the chocolate’s sweetness. “Did I get it?”
“Yeah…” Gon said, sounding a little dazed. “You got it.”
Killua’s brows pinched together. “You okay?”
“Yes, I’m… I’m okay.”
Silence.
“Sorry, was just a little out of it,” Gon said rubbing the back of his neck.
Killua was hesitant to ask, but today had been so good, surely today of all days, he could take a risk. “Is this… is this about what you’re processing?”
Gon stiffened slightly. “What makes you say that?”
“Just a hunch.”
Gon huffed a laugh but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. “It is. I’ll explain soon.”
At the confirmation, Killua’s heart quickened. His throat dried. He didn’t understand why it felt important but it did, the words hanging heavy between them.
“Okay,” Killua whispered. He wasn’t the most patient person but he would wait for this.
Their gazes met and then Gon said, “I had fun today.”
Killua’s chest hurt and bloomed at the same time.
He wondered how long he could bear this.
5.
Whatever Killua had felt between them at the cafe was thrown to the wayside the next few weeks. Killua barely had the time to eat and sleep, let alone think about what had happened. Being busy didn’t usually stop him from fixating on Gon, but Alluka had gotten sick with the flu, then his car broke down, and then he had almost gotten fired from one of his jobs. He’d taken on three shifts some days and there was so much to do and the stress piled so high, Killua had bitten his inner cheek raw.
No matter how much he wished he could stop, he couldn’t if he wanted to keep himself and Alluka alive and away from his family.
But there was no end in sight.
And it was that fact, that made it so unbearable sometimes.
He received increasingly worried texts from Gon, and Alluka did what she could to help him, but even with their support he felt like he was drowning.
It wasn’t until Alluka cut him off from leaving one day that it all came to a head.
“I need to do the shopping,” he said, trying to move past her.
“No you don’t. You’re going to the beach with Gon.”
Killua frowned. “What? I’ve gotta buy food for the week then go to the pharmacy and the bank and then—“
“I’ve got it all covered,” Alluka cut in.
“But—“
“I’ve got it all covered,” she repeated forcefully. “I’m already on it and cleared your schedule for the rest of the day. You have a full afternoon to spend at the beach with Gon and relax.”
“But Gon isn’t free. He said yesterday he has a doctor’s appointment.”
“He said that because he wanted to surprise you. He should be here any second now.”
“I—I didn’t get anything ready.”
“I’ve already packed you a bag.”
He laughed, despite the exhaustion weighing down on him. “You really prepared everything.”
“Of course,” she said, cheeks puffed out. “I had to do something, you were like a zombie.” Her gaze softened. “You deserve a break.”
“I—“ He couldn’t deny it and with heavy eyes and a foggy head, he couldn’t think of any more reasons to protest either. “Thank you.”
There was a knock at the door.
“You’re welcome,” Alluka said, her grin toothy. “Now go hang out with your boyfriend.”
Killua rolled his eyes but went to greet Gon.
The sky was a clear blue and there wasn’t a cloud in sight.
If you didn’t count the seagulls, they were the only ones at the beach. The two of them lone dots along the stretch of white sand.
It had been a while since Killua had last come here and usually he didn’t like dealing with the scratchiness of the sand or the way the salt made his hair sticky, but the beat of the waves against the shore calmed his heart and the salt air cleared his mind. He already felt the tension draining from his body.
It helped that he was in good company. Gon always suited the sun, but he especially suited the ocean, his eyes bright and the breeze winding through his hair.
Killua let himself soak in the sight of him, too tired to resist, too tired to think of reasons not to.
At his look, Gon’s eyes creased into a smile that made Killua’s heart flutter.
Together, they found a spot on the beach, pitched a small tent before setting their bags and towels inside. Hopefully with the cover, Killua wouldn’t get too burnt.
Killua collapsed into it, the sand warm even through the towel beneath him. He closed his eyes, embracing the warmth. Before he knew it, the heat of the sand and the rhythm of the waves lulled him to sleep.
When he woke, he felt disoriented but rebalanced at Gon’s presence beside him. Gon must’ve taken a dip in the ocean because his skin glistened with water, sand scattered over his shoulders, and his hair mussed and sticking up at the side. His eyes were closed, chin tilted upwards to soak up the sun.
Killua let himself look.
Eventually, Gon’s eyes blinked open and met his gaze. Killua should’ve felt caught out, but perhaps he was still half-asleep because he didn’t mind. Gon’s eyes stayed on his.
“Sleep well?” Gon asked.
Killua nodded then sat up, stretching out his limbs. The sun was a good deal lower than when he’d last seen it. He must’ve been asleep for a few hours, at least. He felt better because of it. A few hours wouldn’t be enough to fully recover all the sleep he’d lost, but it was better than nothing.
Now that he’d gotten an ounce of self-care, his body demanded for more, stomach growling loudly. Gon, without a word, produced a sandwich from his bag and handed it to him, before taking one of his own.
They ate together, the air between them peaceful and filled with the roar of the ocean. Gon kept handing him more and more food and Killua kept eating. It had been a while since he’d last eaten a good meal, he realised. After eating the last of it, his body felt more like itself.
But Killua must’ve been more exhausted than he thought, because despite having just napped, his head bobbed, sleep pressing at the edges of his mind again.
“Lean against me,” Gon offered.
Killua shot him a questioning look.
“Lean against me. To nap or watch the ocean, whatever you feel like.”
Killua examined Gon before slowly pressing his weight against him, resting his head on his shoulder. Gon was warm and Killua wished he was fully awake to appreciate it.
The smell of salt, the squawk of a passing seagull, the feeling of Gon by his side. Together, they watched the waves lap the shore.
Killua must’ve dozed off again because when he woke the sun was setting, painting the sky in oranges and pinks. It made his breath catch. Even more so when he realised he was still leaning against Gon.
Gon must’ve felt him wake but he didn’t move away. Without exchanging any words, they continued to watch the view.
Killua felt a deep sense of gratitude. To Alluka, for giving him a chance to rest. To Gon, for this moment, for being with him throughout everything.
Something caught his eye.
“Look,” he pointed out, drawing Gon’s attention. An arm’s reach away, crawling steadily towards them, was a crab.
Killua felt Gon jolt in excitement as it got closer and closer, until eventually it got close enough for Gon to extend his hand. The crab took his offer, hobbling onto his palm.
“It’s so cute,” Gon whispered, drawing it close to his face.
“Funny looking, but cute,” Killua agreed.
The crab danced on Gon’s hand, scuttling back and forth. Killua almost wondered if they could keep it as a pet when it promptly lunged forward and pinched Gon, right on the nose.
Gon fell backwards from the shock.
Killua immediately burst out laughing and made no attempt to help.
Gon either thought shaking the crab off was the better option or was unwilling to risk hurting it because he refused to simply tear the thing off. Instead, he rolled around frantically, all the while the crab clung to his nose, not letting go.
It was a ridiculous sight and Killua’s stomach hurt from how hard he was laughing.
By the time the crab flew off and scurried towards the sea, Gon was completely covered in sand and his nose red and sore.
“Thanks for helping,” Gon muttered, rubbing at his nose. The annoyed puff of his cheeks made another helpless fit of laughter burst out of Killua.
When it died down, he felt Gon’s gaze heavy on him.
The look in his eyes was almost…
“What’s up?” Killua asked, voice still light with amusement.
Gon studied his face, lingered. His adam’s apple bobbed.
Then, “I’m in love with you.”
Killua’s mind went blank.
“I’m in love with you,” Gon repeated when it became clear Killua wasn’t going to say anything. “That’s what I was processing. That’s why I avoided you. That’s why I couldn’t tell you right away. But that was wrong of me. I should’ve told you from the start.” Gon swallowed, his voice turning shaky. “And it wasn’t because I didn’t want to love you—nothing could make me regret that. I’d already been feeling it for so long that I… But it suddenly became so much it was overwhelming and I—I wanted to make sure… I wouldn’t ruin this.”
Killua’s heart was in his throat.
“You’re in love with me,” he whispered.
Gon’s gaze wouldn’t leave him. “I have been for a long time.”
Killua bit his inner cheek. “I don’t understand.”
“What is there to understand?”
“You can’t be in love with me,” he said with a shake of his head.
“Why not?”
“Because—“ Killua let out a mixture of a scoff and a laugh. “Because it doesn’t make sense. Because you’re straight and—“
“I’m not straight.”
“I don’t understand,” Killua repeated.
Gon finally broke his gaze, taking in a shaky breath. “Is this… is this your way of saying no?”
“What are you talking about?”
Gon’s lip wobbled and he closed his eyes. He looked so sad. “I completely understand if it is but can we please at least stay as friends? I don’t think I could bear it if we stopped talking—“
“Shut up.”
“But I also understand if you need your distance, I’ll respect that. I won’t bother you—“
“Gon, stop talking.”
“But I wanted to be honest. I hate keeping things from you, and I couldn’t hold it in any longer and I’m sorry about that. I’ll distance myself, I’ll—“
Killua had had enough.
In one motion, he surged forward and kissed him.
The first feeling of Gon’s mouth against his was nothing like he’d ever imagined.
It was brutal and harsh and involved far too much teeth, but Killua wasn’t deterred. It felt incredible and he pressed forward, fuelled with the desire for Gon to shut up already.
For a moment, Gon remained frozen against him, mouth unmoving as Killua funnelled years of frustration and want and love into it.
Then Killua nipped his bottom lip, and Gon came to life beneath him. His mouth parted then tilted, the kiss instantly softening. His fingers brushed Killua’s hair from his forehead before resting at his jaw, fingertips pressed against the racing pulse there. A wave of shivers ran down his spine as Gon deepened the kiss—at the soft press of tongue.
Suddenly desperate for more, Killua buried his hands in Gon’s hair, drawing him closer. The first tug at his scalp drew a low groan from Gon and Killua was forever changed. He became hooked to the sound, to the taste of him. He would never get over this.
He was feeling everything at once and he tried to memorise every sensation—Gon’s hot mouth against his, the softness of his lips, the rhythmic stroke of Gon’s thumb against his jaw, the little sounds that continued to spill from him. But eventually he stopped thinking and let himself be swept along by it, holding on to the feeling of Gon against him for as long as he could, until he had to draw back and catch his breath.
They stared at each other in shock, chests heaving. Killua’s lips were tingling. Gon’s looked ravaged.
The pink of the sunset lit the side of Gon’s face and Killua took in the flush of his cheeks, the mess of his hair, his lips swollen and red. Killua wanted to lick him. But he forced himself to focus and think about what this meant, what this made them.
Gon’s gaze wouldn’t leave his.
The look in his eyes… was hard to misread. It was as though Killua was precious. On instinct, he was tempted to curl in on himself, to hide, to bite back. But Gon’s confession rung in his ears. That look paired with those words could only mean one thing. Hope slowly crept through him.
“You’re in love with me,’ he said, more sure of it this time.
“I’m in love with you,” Gon confirmed.
Killua had heard those words multiple times now but it was the first time he’d believed them. It was a wonderful thing. Killua grinned, unable to contain his happiness.
“And you… do you…” Gon attempted, looking so unsure of himself Killua couldn’t help but laugh. Gon’s shoulders slumped, somehow looking more disheartened, despite the fact they’d just made out for god knows how long. Killua couldn’t have that any longer.
“Stop that face,” he smiled. “You’re the most oblivious person I’ve ever met.”
Gon blinked. “Meaning?”
“Meaning I’ve been in love with you since we were twelve, stupid.”
Gon’s eyes shined hopefully. “Really?”
“Yes, dumbass,” Killua said with a roll of his eyes. “Practically everyone knows except you. I’m… I’m in love with you.”
Gon’s face brightened, and Killua swore he would repeat those words again and again if it made him look like that.
“Does this mean I can kiss you again?” Gon asked, gaze falling to his mouth.
Killua’s breath went shallow. “Yes.”
This time, the kiss began a careful thing. They took their time with tentative brushes of their mouths, each sending shivers down Killua’s spine. He had to cling to Gon’s shoulders to steady himself, overflowed with love and disbelief that this was real. That Gon wanted him, loved him. Killua cherished the slowness, the leisurely appreciation of each other. Eventually, however, he grew impatient and demanded for more, trying to speed up the kiss. But Gon only held him gently in place by the chin and kept the same infuriating pace—the same unhurried drag of their lips. The slowness made every sensation sharper, and the slower it became, the more Killua melted, breath hitching, overwhelmed by it all. The first slide of Gon’s tongue against his almost caused him to cry out, eyes clenched as he gripped tight, never wanting it to end.
When Gon broke away to press a trail of kisses down his neck, Killua became aware that he making these small whining noises. He couldn’t prevent them, no matter how much he tried.
Gon’s lips stopped at his collarbone, where they lingered. “I love you,” Gon whispered there.
Killua shivered.
“I love you, Killua,” Gon said at his shoulder this time, each word brushing against his sensitive skin.
“I love you too,” Killua voiced brokenly.
At that, Gon stilled and took in a shuddering breath. His gaze flicked to Killua’s, dazed and heavy, before he returned to Killua’s neck with even more enthusiasm than before, laving his tongue against his racing pulse. Killua’s eyes fluttered shut, savouring the feeling until he couldn’t take it anymore and dragged their mouths together again.
And again and again.
Hours later, long after the sun had set, Killua stumbled into the apartment, heart light and kiss drunk and cheeks hurting from smiling so much.
Alluka took one look at him and turned smug. “How was your date?”
“Good,” Killua said furtively.
But there was no hiding from Alluka. She squealed, her copy of Twilight: New Moon flying into the air as she rushed towards him.
“You did it! I can’t believe you actually did it! I was starting to lose hope you’d ever get your shit together!”
“Rude.”
“Well, it took you forever to figure it out. Now tell me everything.”
+1
Just because Killua and Gon had started dating didn’t mean life became sunshine and rainbows. Killua still had three jobs and was stressed out of his mind some days, made worse when his insomnia struck particularly badly. Gon had school to get through and was sometimes hit with days where he could hardly get out of bed. They had to communicate a lot to make sure that this was what they truly wanted, that they were on the same page.
But the dating itself was easy from the start, natural. Like this was how it always should’ve been. That didn’t mean that Killua regretted the past. Not at all. Not when it got him this. Nights wrapped up in Gon’s arms, kisses on the temple, and mornings waking up with him. Taking care of Gon when things were too much, when he pushed himself too hard. Resassuring him that he was enough. Having the freedom to kiss him and love him how he wanted.
It was perfect. They fit together perfectly.
And Killua was beginning to learn one thing:
He was very good at affecting Gon.
Case in point:
“You’ve already had three whole boxes of chocolate,” Gon argued.
Killua titled his head. “Please?” he said, fluttering his eyelashes. “Just one more?”
Gon groaned. “You’re doing this on purpose.”
“What do you mean?” Killua asked, blinking innocently.
“Fine,” Gon muttered. “Buy another box.”
Killua celebrated with a smirk.
Gon was absolutely hopeless against him and now that Killua knew it, he intended to exploit it. Killua had been surprised by that fact at first. Still was sometimes. But he was getting more and more used to the power he held over Gon. And Gon, despite how much he complained, seemed to enjoy it.
“You’re evil,” Gon said.
“No, you just keep letting me get away with it.”
Gon groaned. “I can’t help that! You’re…you’re taking advantage of me and my weakness!”
“It’s revenge for making me pine for you for so long.”
“I was pining for you too. We’re equally guilty!”
“Hmm.” Killua grinned and pressed a slow kiss to Gon’s lips. “Well I was pining longer.”
“No, I was,” Gon argued.
“No, I was.”
“No—“
“Yeah yeah, we were both stupid,” Killua relented before pulling away from Gon and eating the rest of the chocolate, happy and victorious.
“Mito wants you to come around for dinner tomorrow night,” Gon said later, drawing soothing circles on Killua’s arm.
“Because I’m so handsome?”
Gon blushed.
When they’d told Mito they’d started dating, Mito had cried with happiness. Literally. After she’d sobbed into her tenth tissue, she calmed down enough to say, “Congratulations, truly. You were meant for each other, right from the start.”
At Killua’s surprised expression, she’d explained, “Well, I always knew Gon was soft on you. Since the day you two met he’d go on about how handsome you are.”
“Oh really?” Killua had said, swerving to look at Gon with a grin.
Gon had turned redder than he’d ever seen him. “Mito!”
“What, it’s true!”
A year later and Killua still couldn’t let it go, teasing him at every opportunity.
Who could blame him when it was so fun?
Gon nudged him. “You know, for someone who gets flustered whenever I so much as smile at you, you sure act big.”
“I don’t get flustered.”
Gon looked over him with a blink and uh oh. Gon had taken that as a challenge.
Eyes teasing but gentle, Gon leaned in close to gently cradle his face. He shot Killua a soft smile—the kind that always punched the breath from his lungs—and tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Sparks travelled down Killua’s spine from the softness of Gon’s touch, from the warmness of his smile. Then Gon leaned in even closer, breath hot and lips brushing his ear as he whispered, “You so sure about that?”
Killua shivered and pulled back. “Cheater,” he snapped. “That was more than a smile!”
Gon grinned triumphantly. “No it wasn’t. You just can’t take the heat yourself.”
“Don’t turn this around on me,” Killua argued. “Not when you couldn’t say no to me to save your life.”
“I’m not the one who chokes on water when I roll up my sleeves to do the dishes!”
“Well at least I didn’t drop a dumbbell on my foot!”
“That had nothing to do with you, I was—I don’t know—distracted!”
“Distracted by me, and my new suit!”
“Like you’re not the same when I wear one!”
“Well you—“
“You’re both horribly in love with each other, we get it!” Alluka shouted loudly from the other room, stopping them in their tracks.
They froze and exchanged a look, before bursting out laughing.
Turned out Killua had no need to worry; Gon was flustered by him plenty. More than the ounce that he’d once hoped for. More than he ever could’ve possibly fathomed.
And if Killua was flustered too sometimes… Well, at least he didn’t have to be so embarrassed anymore. He could always give it right back.