Work Text:
Raw visceral loathing, intense and unabating, surged through her circuits as she watched the human approach the unassuming shed she had been ejected from several months ago. There was no way she was coming back inside, that was certain, not after all the problems she had caused. All the death and destruction. All the silent smugness. Life had been peaceful and safe without her, and GLaDOS intended to keep it that way, Science be damned. She could knock that door until she died, which thankfully looked like it would be sooner rather than later. Only then would her rotting carcass enjoy a trip inside, and purely to be incinerated as she should've been oh so many years ago.
GLaDOS berated herself for the curiosity and spark of a conscience that had allowed the monster to escape death too many times before, flexing the panels of her gargantuan dome as her processors went into overdrive. The only solace GLaDOS could find was that she looked particularly weak as she swayed at the unyielding door, encrusted with blood both brightly fresh and dully dried, bruised and dirty, jumpsuit barely recognisable with its tears and stains. It was almost satisfying to see her like this, a mere shell of the invincible monster that had once stalked through the facility destroying everything she touched; even a short trip to the moon without the appropriate safety gear hadn't left her this… pathetic. The sole detraction from the satisfaction, the thing that made it infuriating, was that somebody else had achieved this victory over the former Test Subject, that it hadn't been her own hand- claws- that had finally broken her in the end.
To distract herself from the rage, GLaDOS wondered if she would break her silence to beg for mercy, if she would crack entirely and ooze fluids from her face the way many Test Subjects had before her on their testing tracks, or if she would maybe offer any apologies as her final breaths passed through her bloodied lips. She wouldn't, GLaDOS knew that, she would be stubbornly mute until the very end, and that tenacity would likely drive her to assume a spectral form to haunt GLaDOS until the end of time with her silent lunacy, destroying the facility on an endless loop until the Earth itself ceased to exist. She didn't believe in ghosts, but she had learnt a long time ago not to underestimate this particular human, and it was best to be prepared for anything when she appeared, uninvited and unwanted, even something so impossible as existing after death.
GLaDOS watched as the former Test Subject knocked again, mini showers of rust particles dislodging and crumbling every time her disgusting pudgy fists made contact with her precious facility. The cameras outside were concealed, tucked away and discreet to maintain the illusion of wrecked abandonment that kept the laboratories safe, but somehow the human found one to stare into, and GLaDOS finally had to look away from the video feed as the pain lacing the icy depths of her eyes shot right for the conscience she refused to acknowledge she still carried.
Ignoring the footage allowed the anger to return, suppressing the undesirable inclination to open the door and with it the Genetic Lifeform component within her that she still tried and failed miserably to delete frequently. The audacity this human had, showing up in this condition after being told in no uncertain terms to never return. She was clearly only desperate for help, for her life to be saved, and so far there were no signs of the apologies or thanks GLaDOS felt she deserved for everything she had already done for the monster in question.
The human had saved the facility in the end, that was true, though it wouldn't have been necessary had she just tested and allowed herself to be incinerated the first time around, if instead of literally killing GLaDOS and handing the facility to the moron responsible for its destruction she simply died when she was supposed to. The human had also saved GLaDOS from the Evil in the older parts of the facility, and had carried her potato form and followed her instructions, and for a while as they worked together she had seemed almost friendly. But GLaDOS didn't need friends, nor did she need pet monsters or unruly Test Subjects. Besides, what good was a half-dead Test Subject anyway? How could she possibly contribute to Science in the state she was in? Was it even worth the effort of fixing her for a shot at Testing Euphoria and sweet, mouthwatering data collection?
GLaDOS flicked her attention back to the security footage, a surge of sudden panic shot through her circuits at the lack of former Test Subject visible in frame. She rewound the footage and watched as she clenched her jaw and walked away, disappearing into the wheat with purpose despite the limping and clear inability to breathe properly. Admittedly, progress was slow, the walk away taking far too long, even sped up to the humanly-indecipherable speeds she was capable of processing it at. GLaDOS checked the live feed on a whim before shutting it off, a cursory glance to ensure the lunatic was truly gone.
Curious.
She zoomed into a patch of the wheatfield that had caught her attention, a few golden fronds moving against the gentle lilt of the others in the light breeze, slightly shadowed as they moved closer. She tracked its progress patiently, allowing herself a bored, over-forced excitement that it would be another deer while knowing certainly it wouldn't be. The initial glimpse of the emerging figure was definitely a surprise, however, and she was pleasantly reminded of the very real excitement she had felt being truly surprised by her at the beginning of their history.
The Weighted Companion Cube. GLaDOS’s parting gift; a reminder of all the fun they'd had, of the niceness she'd displayed by saving her pointless life and letting her get away with everything, of her generosity in releasing her. Had she kept it? Carried it wherever she'd caused trouble next? Or had she dumped it in the field and abandoned it? Cast it aside and forgot about her entirely until she needed help? Not that it mattered, either way she wouldn't be getting back inside, but her behaviour was fascinating, especially now as she looked almost ready to take her last breath.
With trembling arms, the human presented the cube and lowered it to the ground, sweating in the height of the baking midday sun, with barely a grunt. When she rose, her jaw was clenched so tightly it was a wonder her teeth hadn't shattered, and she swayed dangerously. It was finally happening, the moment she'd fantasised about for far too long: the monster was dying. It felt bittersweet, she found, not nearly as liberating or elating as it had been in her wildest dreams. GLaDOS should've been the one to strike the death blow, but even that now felt…
GLaDOS shied away from the niggle of conscience that had wormed its way through her wiring again, shut herself off from it and refocused on the former Test Subject. It didn't take long, a matter of seconds to be precise, before she finally crumbled, legs buckling and sending her into the dust, kicking up a cloud that obscured her view. As it settled slowly around her, GLaDOS noted she was still breathing, the faintest of breaths, shallow and rasping.
She couldn't die like this. It wasn't right. Wasn't fitting enough for her. Despite all her flaws, of which there were far too many to count last time she’d checked, she had been a good Test Subject- exceptional, even- and she was a fascinating observational study outside of the track too. If GLaDOS showed some humility now, accepted the cube as the peace-offering it was and saved her life, perhaps the monster would be tamed enough for some sort of vague truce. For Science.
With heavy reluctance and an impending sense of doom, GLaDOS sent the bots to collect the unconscious human and her Companion Cube from the surface. She would regret this, she knew it, and she blamed it entirely on the abscess that shared her wiring; the human component she was forced to exist with until the end of time, impossible to erase without deleting herself along with it. Caroline. Everything was her fault, it always was, anything nice she felt compelled to do was her responsibility, but the fires started as a result ended up being GLaDOS's to put out, and they were awful to deal with.
~0~
Weeks. Too many weeks. GLaDOS had spent much of them tending to the human, checking in periodically with the steady influx of data poured into her processors constantly from the monitoring system she was hooked up to, adjusting her care, attending to alarms. The worry was difficult to process as the hatred still burned white hot when she saw her, but GLaDOS felt she had something to lose now if the monster lost this fight, the idea of real Science being done again dangled so temptingly. She knew there were no other humans, that the world had ended without them as they slept through it all until the moron woke them both up, making this particular life valuable. For the cause of research, of course.
In her spare time she had finished a project she had busied herself with when the humans she'd found squirreled away from her grasp had run dry and the bots failed to compare. The facility needed maintenance and attendance in ways she couldn't provide bound to the chassis, looming and foreboding as it was, she needed something more practical so she could take better care of her home. Combining blueprints for a project the bots had found with an unfinished project she was already aware of, she had managed to create the very thing the Scientists long ago were already planning for her.
The android was okay, and she was quite proud of her success in building it, but the design was not to her tastes. It was too much like her circuit-mate, too diminishing of her own addition to their being, and so unnecessarily human. But it worked and the freedom it afforded her was worth all the flaws she had to deal with to experience it, even the breathing to keep her systems cool. It was far easier to tend to the human with more delicate appendages too, though that was definitely her least favourite reason to enjoy the new vessel, well below all the Science she could get her hands into now.
Finally, though, the human was waking up. She was unhooked from the various machines that had kept her alive as she healed and GLaDOS had ceased the administration of sedatives, though it had taken far longer to leave her system than anticipated. The human was still so weak, still a shadow of the monster she used to be, horrifically underweight and sallow even after the forced nutrients intubated into her as she slept through her brushes with death. She wouldn't be leaving any time soon and GLaDOS had made peace with that, finding ways to bury the hatred for the good of the Science they could do as the human recovered fully.
She was dazed when she opened her eyes, fluttering lids against the harsh fluorescents beaming down on her, groggy and drifting. GLaDOS waited for her to wake up more, hovering near the doorway of the repurposed Relaxation Room, unsure how to approach the former Test Subject as a cascade of feelings flooded her processors, a vast array from hatred to anger to intrigue to relief, and several in between. Her eyes were fully open now, roaming around the room and would eventually land on her, so the choice had to be a quick one. Caroline's input would be compassion, and that was absolutely out of the question, so she settled for nothing, for the clinical coldness of the Scientists she remembered.
GLaDOS stepped forwards and the former Test Subject’s eyes widened, the appearance of what she would likely presume another human being sending her into a scramble. But GLaDOS realised as she reached the bedside that she wasn't excited to see someone resembling herself at all; she was scared, absolutely petrified it seemed, and was trying to get away on unsteady limbs. She fell off the other side of the bed into a heap, and GLaDOS stood perplexed for a moment as she tried to claw her way to her feet. Fascinating as ever, and still just as stubborn.
“I'm not going to hurt you.” She said quietly, her voice far more natural-sounding without the speaker system blaring her across the facility, produced instead with the human-inspired complex cord-wiring situation within her throat.
The human didn't believe her, didn't try to get any closer, but she did cease trying to get further away for a moment. She looked confused, and still inexplicably terrified; not at all how GLaDOS expected her to look after she saved her life, nothing like how she'd looked the first time GLaDOS had done the very same for her. And she certainly looked like she shouldn't be standing up yet.
“You should lie down.” GLaDOS tried to smile, though she wasn't sure how effective her attempt was having never tried to until now. The litany of injuries she'd arrived with would've killed any human, and sheer tenacity alone had kept her alive and on her feet, much like it did now, that alone about her was certainly unchanged, likely the only thing that would remain no matter what was thrown her way.
The smile seemed to work a little to ease the human's nerves, though she was sure she would need to practise the gesture for maximum effect, and the human gingerly sat on the edge of the bed, as much distance between them as she could manage. It was surprisingly easy to get her to comply, and GLaDOS was taken aback by the human's willingness to follow her advice, having always been so deliberate in ignoring it until now.
Curiosity began to take over, drawn out as it was by this particular human, though the answers she pondered the questions to would be inaccessible if she continued her resolute silence. GLaDOS knew she could talk, that her mutism was a continued choice, and as irritating as it was to her she had to admit she respected the commitment the human showed. It was as intriguing as everything else, the impossibility of verbal explanation frustratingly tantalising for further study. She took a seat in a chair beside the bed, settling in to deliver the prognosis, perhaps lay the groundwork for a truce she was inclined to offer.
“You should be dead.” GLaDOS said flatly. “You're lucky you got here when you did.”
The human was swaying again, and GLaDOS thrust out a reflexive hand to steady her before she toppled from the bed again. The flinch was almost enough to send her back to the floor anyway, but she caught herself and conceded that she needed to be more horizontal. GLaDOS helped her prop up her pillows, and although she still kept a wide berth, the act seemed to help.
“Why did you come back?” GLaDOS asked once the human was sat safely.
As expected, the human didn't answer, instead she looked away, jaw set against the question resolutely. Perhaps a yes-or-no question would get things moving along better, give her room to respond in her own quiet way. GLaDOS was fairly confident she could read many of the non-verbal cues the human probably wasn't aware she exhibited, tiny shifts in her posture and physiological responses she would have no control over, nothing hidden from her supreme processors.
“Was it for help?” She probed, noting a slight twitch in the muscles in her neck as she deliberated an easy question for too long, even the act of nodding seemed too much outright communication for her.
Eventually she shook her head, though it seemed there was a bigger answer she was refusing to explain behind it, the hesitation speaking volumes when she wouldn't. This human was so annoying, piquing her interest the way she did, forcing thoughts of the danger and threat she posed to take a back seat, likely encouraged by the human within herself, and GLaDOS felt she had no choice sometimes but to be brought along for the journey of discovery. It just made her hate the monster more.
~0~
The screaming made GLaDOS thankful the human chose silence as her default, and the slow descent into night at the end of every day had become a source of anxiety for them both. The human hadn't made much of a sound at all while sedated, and GLaDOS had considered finding a way to dose her despite the human being very clear in her refusal of it.
Any time GLaDOS floated the idea of an uninterrupted sleep the human aggressively shook her head and hid herself away, sometimes for a couple of days, but it was always obvious where she was when the nightmares started, and the cries from within the walls filled the facility with a painful misery GLaDOS didn't like one bit. Dragging her out and returning her to her Relaxation Room didn't help, if anything it sent her deeper into recesses GLaDOS wasn't sure how she even managed to reach, but she never resisted when caught, and that was almost more upsetting than the screaming itself.
She was broken. Pathetic and scared and sad. Seeing her like this was difficult to process, and the very limited information she had for the cause of this was bringing no end of turmoil. GLaDOS's unrelenting hatred had shifted slightly as the human had regained her physical strength, her visceral anger morphing as the human returned to a healthier weight and a brightened complexion, directed now in part towards whatever was lurking beyond the confines of the facility. She was terrified of what could be up there stalking around trying to find the human that had escaped it, and the longer the human refused to speak about it the more the worries stacked up. GLaDOS had taken comfort in trying to believe the monster had taken care of it, that whatever had damaged her beyond recognition was in a far worse state than she had appeared in, that the human would've sooner died trying to defeat it than run away and hide. The human's mental state didn't let her fully believe herself though.
For the first time, possibly ever, GLaDOS agreed with the genetic component within herself. The human needed support, a support GLaDOS wasn't sure she was qualified to deliver that was true, but there was nobody else around to offer it. Besides, no Science could be done until the human was put back together properly, and as awful as it would be to show compassion, it was unfortunately now a necessity. For both their sakes.
The human was wandering around aimlessly, often balancing precariously on railings, unperturbed by the dramatically chasmic drop if she were to slip, no Long Fall Boots in sight. It was far too anxiety-inducing to watch, and GLaDOS had taken to ignoring the security footage when she behaved like this. It was best to leave her alone until she was on stable ground again rather than seeking her out as she tight-roped her away along catwalks, the sudden appearance would cause alarm and likely a subsequent fall, and GLaDOS was keen on keeping her alive and in one piece for as long as possible.
GLaDOS waited, busying herself with designing new test tracks for when the monster was finally capable again, occasionally checking in to see what sort of trouble she was getting herself into. It was hard to trust the human to explore alone, but in her state it would be almost too easy to overpower her should her murderous and destructive tendencies make a resurgence, and she didn't roam far anyway. After slipping and scaring herself out of her balancing act, the human slowly trailed her way back to the more solidly built areas of the facility and stalked corridors instead, creating the perfect window to be intercepted.
GLaDOS, equipped with a clipboard to appear as though she were mid-task and not orchestrating a meeting, hurried through the corridors towards the human. She had her best I'm extremely busy and important face fixed as she rounded the corner that would lead directly to her, and marched with purpose. The human spotted her and ducked into an open office, still so distrustful and edgy around her despite the fact she'd saved her life and continued to provide the tools she needed to survive and heal fully. GLaDOS decided to follow her in, concerned briefly that trapping her in a small space would have a negative effect on the tentatively amicable relationship they existed in, but ultimately the desire to resume Science won out.
The human flinched as the door opened, and her eyes darted wildly to find an escape route as GLaDOS stepped inside. She looked awful and GLaDOS couldn't suppress the twinge of sympathy that niggled her circuits at the sight of her clutching herself tightly, dark circles under eyes riddled with fear. GLaDOS tried one of the smiles she'd been practicing, a small, soft one that she hoped displayed an appropriate level of comfort.
“I’d like to talk to you.” She said gently, pleased the warmth she was trying hard to put across was having the desired effect, though she made no move to take the seat as instructed. GLaDOS sat first, leading by example, and continued.
“How are you feeling?” She asked the still-standing human.
Her eyes darted between GLaDOS and the door several times and for a moment she was sure the human was going to run away, but much to her surprise she sat on the other vacant chair and tucked her knees under her chin.
“Physically, you're fit for testing.” GLaDOS continued. “But mentally…”
The human squeezed her eyes closed tightly and held her breath, teeth gritted. GLaDOS recognised it for what it was, and suddenly felt overwhelmingly uncomfortable at the situation she'd put herself in. The human was trying not to cry.
“Talk to me.” She offered, hoping desperately it wouldn't trigger the tears to fall. “Tell me what happened out there.”
The human shook her head, abandoning the effort she was putting into to keep her emotions in check and allowing her tears to fall silently.
“Do you trust me?” GLaDOS asked, and instantly regretted it. She didn't trust the human, not fully, so why would the human trust her? It was a stupid thing to ask. But Caroline was calling the shots, it seemed, and she was the human expert allegedly, so who was GLaDOS to judge, really.
The human didn't respond, though it was clear she wasn't fully sure herself if she did trust her or not. She swallowed hard and wiped her face on the sleeve of her jumpsuit, but the tears refused to stop falling.
“I promise I'm not going to hurt you.” GLaDOS had already made this promise before, but it was worth making again as a reminder of the goodwill she was trying to present.
The human shifted in her seat, still hugging her knees but a little less tense after the reminder. Her eyes found the camera fixed on the wall beside them and she turned her face away from it, cheeks flushed, and a flash of understanding crossed GLaDOS's processors.
The human hadn't set foot in the main chamber since she arrived back, hadn't laid eyes on the chassis she'd destroyed multiple times, and seemingly had no idea the android she sat across from now was the very being she clearly wanted to avoid. It felt wrong to mislead her, but if she played her cards right here she could potentially get the human talking freely with her, though the fallout when she realised she had been so thoroughly deceived would likely be catastrophic. She decided not to outright reveal herself for now.
“Killing you would be counter-productive after spending so much time saving your life.” GLaDOS pointed out. “Please talk to me. It would be useful to know some details to help with security. The facility is protected well enough but without knowing what threats are out there we can't prepare for them appropriately.”
The human seemed confused, and that by extension perplexed GLaDOS. She released her knees and slid her chair closer, fear apparently forgotten as she approached. The human's eyes were probing, scanning her completely from head to toe, focusing in on different parts of her so intently GLaDOS almost wanted to run away. It was strange, no question about that, and all GLaDOS could do was wait patiently for her to finish her observations, happy at least that the human seemed to relax the more she analysed.
“You're not one of them.” She mumbled to herself, and GLaDOS couldn't believe what she had just heard. She had to replay the footage several times quickly to fully grasp what had happened, so shocked by the data flooding in analysing the details of the voice that had eluded her for so long. The silence stretched between them as she sat dumbfounded and the human stared back.
“I don't understand.” GLaDOS admitted finally, irritated that the plethora of knowledge she contained couldn't find anything to add meaning to the words the human had uttered. “Do you really not know who I am?”
The human furrowed her brow and looked again, and GLaDOS could almost see the thought process playing out across her face. The fear she had felt seemed to have blinded her until now, so desperate to be left alone she'd never properly seen GLaDOS, and as realisation struck she backed her chair away and renewed her furtive glances at the door.
“I wouldn't be here trying to talk to you if I didn't want to help you.” GLaDOS said, bringing her attention back from thoughts of leaving. “Whatever is out there has broken you, worse than anything I could ever achieve, and if you're this afraid of it, well… it must be awful.”
A small smile cracked the monster briefly, just a fleeting glimpse of a tug at the corners of her mouth. It probably wasn't wise to feed the monster’s ego like that, but the bold confidence she'd demonstrated previously was a contributing factor in her outstanding test records, so it was necessary.
“I can't protect you if I don't know what you're hiding from.” GLaDOS insisted, careful to keep her tone soothing and inviting, though now the human definitely knew who she was it was going to be more difficult to earn her trust enough to verbalise again.
~0~
“It's okay…” GLaDOS whispered, gently squeezing the human's hand as she screamed herself awake again. “You’re in the Enrichment Centre. It's just us. You're safe.”
The human took several deep breaths and calmed herself as she relaxed back into her pillow. She slept better when GLaDOS was present, as discovered one night when the screaming was particularly blood-curdling and GLaDOS had no choice but to enter her room and try to sedate her. Her presence had helped enough to avoid the sedative, so a routine had established itself of GLaDOS simply sitting in the human's room as she drifted off, and slowly over the course of a few weeks GLaDOS had taken to performing small acts of reassurance when the nightmares struck, hence the hand squeezing and affirmations.
“Was it them again?” She asked, dropping her hand and giving the human some space. The hand-holding was so gross, and the only reason she felt compelled to do it was the insistence from the part of her circuits that sparked any time a particularly human interaction was required. Whatever it took to resume Science was worth it, she convinced herself.
The human nodded, sleep sucking her back in already, her eyelids fighting to stay awake as they always did after a nightmare. It was entertaining watching her struggle so much against the weight of her eyelids. Plus the sheer determination to remain conscious and free of the mental torture she was exposed to when she slept was a reminder of the woman she was before she left the facility, and it gave GLaDOS hope she would be ready for testing soon.
“I won't let them take you.” GLaDOS promised as the battle neared its end and the human faced defeat.
A light snoring started up and the peaceful rhythm of it was a relief to hear. Impulsively, GLaDOS leant forwards and brushed the human's hair back from her face and smiled down at her; she looked so harmless like this, so innocently incapable of all the atrocities she'd committed, so vulnerable. A deep-rooted thought surfaced, likely one of Caroline's, though it sat comfortably within her in a way she wasn't happy about: the monster trusted her, so completely now that she was relaxed enough in her presence to be at her most vulnerable. She could probably get her to do almost anything at this point, perhaps even drop herself into the incinerator.
The human shifted, rolled onto her side and leant into her hand, the glint of a relaxed smile playing about her lips as she continued to snore, completely unaware of her own movement. GLaDOS froze, stuck now with her hand between the human's head and her pillow, worried that sliding it away would disturb the most peaceful sleep she'd seen her fall into since arriving back, and accepted that she would just have to wait it out. It got worse before it got better, and by the time morning began to approach the human had shifted so much closer she was practically in her lap, her hands curled around the arm she'd stolen when GLaDOS had tried to sweep her hair off her sweaty brow hours ago.
At least she hadn't woken herself up again, that was a positive sign. If reducing herself to the role of teddy bear sped up the mental healing time, GLaDOS would have to accept it. The itch to test was getting unbearable, and the only way she could avoid the full brunt of it was to avoid the chassis at all costs, but the android wasn't connected to the facility enough for her liking, and building test tracks was significantly more difficult in it too.
The human would be mortified with herself when she woke up, but there was no way to extract her arm without waking her anyway, so GLaDOS just continued to wait. It wasn't really all that bad after all, the proximity, not nearly as awful as she anticipated it would be, and she could stomach it for a while longer. She could feel her breath tickling her arm, the beat of her pulse steady and constant, the squishy fragility of her flesh against her, and the humanity within herself latched on to it all. GLaDOS reminded herself of the primal hatred she insisted she still felt for the human clutching at her, willed herself to feel some semblance of it now, even just a flicker of anger would suffice, but all she managed to muster was mild dislike at best.
Caroline. It was always her fault when feelings like this cropped up. The anger could seethe freely and unending for her, for anything she forced them to feel together, and GLaDOS felt the rage swell at her inability to cut out the cancer entirely. She tried to redirect it towards the slumbering monster, but it dissipated faster the harder she tried. This would be a problem, GLaDOS knew it, and the urge to flee the room to figure out a solution was growing hard to resist.
It was purely about the Science, it had to be. The human represented research opportunities, testing, contribution to Science, and as the things GLaDOS loved most in the world, it followed then that the physical embodiment of the things she loved would eventually spark feelings akin to those the Science itself sparked. It wasn't the human herself, just the idea of what they could achieve together. It was the only explanation.
The human was awake, but for how long GLaDOS wasn't sure without revisiting the data her processors had received while she was lost in thought. She hadn't opened her eyes, nor had she dropped the arm she was snuggled against, and GLaDOS left her for a few minutes longer. Perhaps she was embarrassed and wasn't sure how to handle herself, so snapping her arm back now would likely further the awkwardness of the situation. Navigating humans was difficult, and GLaDOS was never sure her course of action was the right one, but this felt correct.
The monster's stomach growled and the pretense she was still sleeping was ruined, forced into movement by the human need for sustenance, and GLaDOS was thankful when her arm was released. Her face was flushed as she let go and sat up, deliberately keeping it turned away from GLaDOS as if to hide the scarlet cheeks radiating, and GLaDOS bit back the smirk she could feel working its way onto her face. She was usually gone by now, hastily making an exit each morning before the human could fully rouse from sleep, but being clutched onto had made that impossible.
“You slept well.” She said, breaking the tense atmosphere building as the human slipped out of bed. “You only had one nightmare.”
The human nodded and selected a jumpsuit from her wardrobe, tossing it over her shoulder as she disappeared into the bathroom and locked the door. GLaDOS took that as her cue to leave.
~0~
The nightmares had stopped, or at least lost their punch enough to elicit panicked awakenings, yet GLaDOS still continued to spend the nights watching over the human. The routine had developed, progressed much further than simply monitoring and providing light reassurance, and GLaDOS had spent many hours wondering how she had allowed this progression to occur and why she still allowed it to continue. Things were fine now and the human was going to have to decide if she wanted to become a Resident Test Subject or if she wanted to remain a Former Test Subject.
Stay or leave, ultimately.
They were the choices she had decided upon, and although it would be presented with freedom being an option, she knew realistically that it wasn't. There ultimately was no choice; live or die, essentially. Her life would not be saved again, GLaDOS remained firm on that, promised herself she would not be taken advantage of and abandoned endlessly until the monster couldn't survive long enough to make the return trip. It was hard to let her go the first time, the loss to Science too great to see leave with such enthusiasm despite the fury and hatred that had surged through her then, and this time would be no different if she chose to go again. It might even be worse - at least they had actually had a chance to collect data before she left last time.
GLaDOS lay still, pondering once again why she was where she was, the human in her arms none-the-wiser to the turmoil plaguing her processors as she snored away happily. At some point she had progressed from sitting on a chair to perching on the edge of her bed, and from there she had ended up lying beside her as she did now, and the human was to blame. She had reached for her in her sleep, practically rolling half off the bed and onto her lap, her thigh basically reduced to a pillow, and to ease the strain on the human's spine she had carefully shuffled them both back onto her bed. Why she had allowed herself to remain a pillow was a mystery even to her, but that one instance had cascaded and snowballed until eventually the human came to expect her to just climb into bed beside her every night.
The worst part wasn't even simply that she did what was expected. That was nothing compared to the growing horror within her at the creeping realisation she didn't really mind doing it, and that actually she had grown rather fond of the peaceful nights nestled against the warm human while she lost herself in thought or powered down to run diagnostics and maintenance. There was an element of safety in it, GLaDOS supposed, that together they could perform their most vulnerable requirements with the knowledge the other would be there should any number of disastrous events occur spontaneously.
It was more than that, though, and GLaDOS understood it somewhat. Away from the chassis the itch to test was absent, but the android carried its own kind of irritation, and frustratingly it involved the human just as much as the testing itch did. She craved the attention, the feeling of life in her arms, the quiet adoration she could feel radiating from the human despite her best attempts to hide it. GLaDOS asserted to herself that any adoration she might have felt for the human was simply, again, a reflection of what the human represented and the promise of imminent further knowledge. It wasn't Caroline this time, it wasn't emanating from where her contributions usually twinged, so it had to be the Science of it all behind it.
The human squirmed in her arms and twisted around, still very much asleep as she repositioned to face her. GLaDOS slackened her arms and waited for her to settle in, the human's face tucked into her neck, before tightening her hold again. The human seemed to melt into her when she held her with the right firmness. With her mouth so close GLaDOS was thankful she wasn't snoring anymore, but the hot air pulsed against her throat tickled as much as the hair did against her face. She inhaled, the unmistakable scent of her monster extra potent with her nose practically against her scalp, and forced herself into a short restorative Sleep to clear her data cache before the day ahead.
~0~
“Was it to see me?” GLaDOS asked.
It had been so long since the human had returned now that the reference to the initial questioning about her return would likely be forgotten, and as she deliberated it seemed likely there would be need for clarification.
“I was dying.”
She loved to do that, to offer the odd word or sentence without warning, unpredictable and seemingly random, and always hard to interpret. No matter how much she replayed the audio files, the shock of hearing her voice organically always stunned her into temporary silence.
“So you did come back for help.” GLaDOS tried to keep the surge of anger in her circuits in check, but her nostrils flared and the human caught it.
She shook her head aggressively, cheeks reddening, jaw set. She was basically back to her old self, though far more subdued now she wasn't constantly trying to escape or kill, and her test results were the best they'd ever been. Her tracks had been a genuine pleasure to study since she agreed to resume, and the return to activity had been crucial in aiding her excelling, helping to chip away the last of the mental load she'd been hauling around so she could flourish.
They were almost at the human's room now, and GLaDOS could see the tiredness setting in as the adrenal vapours worked their way out of her system. It was wonderful when she came down from the high, when her edges softened and she was more freely adoring. She'd uttered more words since they started testing than she ever had before, and it felt like a test of its own to try and get her talking all the time instead of the way she selectively held her tongue.
“I'm afraid I don't speak lunatic.” GLaDOS said as sincerely as she could, though the humour wasn't lost on her companion, who raised her eyebrows with a small smile.
The human entered her room first and collapsed backwards onto her bed, taking a long deep breath before sitting up and unstrapping her boots. She tossed them away and flexed her feet, the relief of freedom plastered on her face as she stretched and relaxed. GLaDOS dropped down beside her, interested now in the explanation she felt she deserved, given everything. It was clear why the human felt safer underground, but the allusion again to a bigger reason for returning would drive her to madness trying to figure it out, even a clue would help.
“Please translate for me.” GLaDOS insisted.
The human surprised her, the excitement of genuinely being surprised always welcome, by cupping her chin and holding it, her fingers trembling slightly as the confidence she exuded faltered. The pause stretched and GLaDOS watched carefully as the human seemed to psych herself up before providing any clarity. She finally found what she needed within herself, though the tremble hadn't eased, and she leant towards her, face looming. Her heart was racing wildly as she gently pressed her lips to GLaDOS's, hammering so hard in her chest as they made contact it was borderline concerning.
But the flood of data was an unswimmable tide, forcing out all concern and flowing in fast from various sensors, swirling into a disorientating whirlpool of information that threatened to drown GLaDOS. The only raft was the soft flesh against her, and she kissed the monster back to stay afloat, arms snaking around her for something solid to cling to amid the ocean. The deeper she kissed, the more delicious the data influx, android-itch driven into overdrive as the human slipped onto her lap and knotted her hands into her hair. This should've been disgusting, should've been stopped the very moment it started, but it wasn't and she didn't particularly want to end it, craving instead the tongue that flicked against her lips and probed its way into her mouth. The sogginess of it alone should've been enough to make GLaDOS recoil, but it only seemed to make her seek more. Caroline couldn't be blamed for this either, but it wouldn't stop GLaDOS from trying to.
She was intrigued, though, curiosity driving her to want to know how the human would've displayed her growing affections without verbalising had the android not been created. As far as the human was aware, she would've been returning to GLaDOS in the form she'd last encountered, and lunging in face-first to the cold, unyielding chassis would've been ineffective and probably considerably painful for her. GLaDOS knew too that she likely would've killed the human before she even got close enough to try; the complete lack of trust initially would've sparked a self-preservation instinct within her and there would've been no qualms with crushing her there and then, even with the promise of Scientific advancement. She had to ask, had to try and find out more, needed to get inside the lunatic’s mind and understand as much as possible. She wasted no time the moment they broke apart.
“You must have had a plan for returning. How were you going to convince me to let you in?” GLaDOS asked as she cradled the human, feeling her tense against the question and shrink away from it. She wouldn't talk again for a while, the reaction made that clear, and GLaDOS would have to try and squash the need to know brewing within her.
The human tried to kiss her again instead of answering, but that wasn't going to work a second time, nor any other time in the future. GLaDOS swerved to avoid her with a smirk, and the human's face fell, clearly crushed that she had been rejected, suddenly deeply uncomfortable. She tried to extract herself but GLaDOS held her firm, and the confusion bubbling to the surface was almost cute as she tried to figure out what was happening.
“Say it.” GLaDOS instructed. “Tell me what you had planned.”
The human struggled against her grip, stubbornly refusing to speak, far less persuadable now than she had been in the height of her mental collapse, though far more entertaining now to rile up. She gave up when she realised her efforts were fruitless, or perhaps when she realised she didn't particularly want to get away, and the sigh she heaved was comically exaggerated.
“I brought a potato.” The human muttered, the crimson tinge to her cheeks deepening, the spotlight of attention too much for her to elaborate any further.
Why was she always so cryptic about things? It was maddening, and even with the raw computational power she possessed GLaDOS was constantly struggling to find the meaning behind her words. The appearance of a potato would've sent just as confusing a message as her literal explanation, and GLaDOS suspected she would've found the gesture mocking and cruel, would've considered it a reminder of the horrors of their past. She was about to begin a line of questioning about it, but the human found it within herself to attempt to explain.
“We worked well together.” It wasn't much of an elaboration, but the memories of her time wedged onto the portal device were probably the most pleasant from that era of their lives, despite the identity crisis and forced nature of their teamwork. It had been exciting having such an up-close-and-personal view of her testing, of her working her way through the older parts of the facility, of the thought processes flickering across her face. And the fact she had bothered to save GLaDOS at all was worth its weight in potatoes alone.
“I don't think that would've worked. I would've assumed you were trying to get under my circuits.” GLaDOS said honestly, and the human laughed. It was a delightful sound, thrilling even, melodic and pleasing as it trickled into her audio processors.
“You couldn't lie to me.” She pointed out, and GLaDOS remembered telling her exactly that at the time, that the power was too little to be anything but honest. She supposed it really had been a turning point in their relationship, and it had been during that time she had realised herself that the human wasn't actually all that bad. The enormous power of the chassis drove most of the visceral hatred, combined with the memories of all the terrible, evil things humans had done to her before ever even knowing about the Test Subject she caressed now.
“And that's when you realised you were head-over-heels in love with me?” GLaDOS joked, deflecting from the building tension between them almost defensively, so emotionally torn about the development happening now she needed time alone to process everything and find a place of understanding within herself.
The human shook her head, and again GLaDOS was thrown into a spiral of needing to know more than she was being dangled.
“I thought about you all the time outside.” She admitted sheepishly. “But I didn't realise why until I came back.”
“So you are head-over-heels in love with me?” GLaDOS couldn't help the joking, it was a reflex when she felt nervous; joke or lie or both, that was her preferred way to handle discomfort. The human found amusement in it, and seemed thankful herself of the lightening of the mood, neither one very inclined to put themselves in the position of open honesty the human was in now.
This time when the human tried to answer with a kiss instead of outright saying it, GLaDOS accepted.
Caroline was thrilled, chaotically excited and brimming with satisfaction, and GLaDOS would have to unpack all of this later, would have to find a way to dampen the situation and keep them rigidly focused on the Science they were here to do together. The longer they spent entwined together, though, the harder it was to find the restraint required to end this farce, and the easier it was to continue with unabashed enthusiasm. She would need to return to the chassis- probably permanently- to avoid this. The need to test was easier to satisfy, and involved significantly less physical contact with the human, but the fleshy warmth wrapped tightly around her was becoming more and more irresistible.
~0~
Their one night of sloppy fumbling was supposed to be the only one, GLaDOS was adamant about that. It was purely for Science, absolutely nothing personal at all, not for anything other than to research the differences in the Euphoria response between her two vessels. She reasoned she only felt the Euphoria during their escapades because she considered them to be tests, and the human's involvement was purely to elicit the response, which was seemingly mandatory much like it was on the test tracks.
Good research, though, requires replicable results. GLaDOS was nothing if not thorough when it came to her experiments, and the data she'd been collecting over their nights together was a stellar example of Science well done, in her opinion at least. She refused, though, to deliberate on the reasons for the existence of the pleasure centres hardwired into the android, added solely because the blueprints she used had them and the model had been specifically designed for her, instead focusing on how to maximise the response from them.
GLaDOS held the sleeping human, sweaty and snoring, inhaling the intoxicating, unmistakably-hers scent that pushed her circuits into overdrive. Waiting for her to wake up to continue their research was agonising, but powering down into a rest state felt impossible as the excitement for Science to continue imminently fizzed through her wirings and made her impatient. Eventually she had to power down when she began to overheat considering all the variables she planned to study during the day ahead, so she ensured the human was tucked in comfortably and let the void take hold as her data catches cleared.
GLaDOS was brought back online by the human, and it took her a few seconds to grasp the situation that had awoken her as her systems caught up. The human wasn't sleeping anymore, apparently very awake now and impatient for GLaDOS to be alert, her mouth busying itself along the contours of her neck, her thigh draped over GLaDOS's hips, a thumb massaging her nipple. GLaDOS didn't notice the soft moans were coming from her own mouth as she shifted the human more on top of her, and they only intensified when she slipped through her arms and trailed kisses down her torso.
The monster's wicked tongue quickly found its target and it took a lot of conscious effort not to crush her fragile skull between her thighs as she buried her face there as deeply as she could. GLaDOS trembled, fistfuls of bedsheet almost tearing as the Euphoria rippled into her circuits and took over entirely. Being woken up and thrown immediately into their research was unbelievably exciting, and GLaDOS fleetingly cursed herself for not thinking of this experiment herself, but the data influx pushed all other thoughts aside as the human lapped up the synthetic fluids signifying the test was a triumph.
She replaced her tongue with fingers, maintaining the Euphoria in an endless, pulsing throb, gearing up for a second study before GLaDOS could finish analysing the results of the first, kissing her way back to her neck and nibbling at her ear.
“Chell…” GLaDOS sighed, and the human froze before extracting herself, eyes impossibly wide, fingers still lost within her.
GLaDOS was confused; it was as though the human had been suddenly switched off, even her breath had held for a moment, and it wasn't until she replayed the moment that caused the reaction that she understood. GLaDOS had never spoken her name aloud before, and she supposed the human had no memory of anyone ever doing so, especially as she'd spent so long in suspension it was a wonder she wasn't entirely brain-dead. It was a shock to them both, but the human recovered quickly with renewed passion, hungrier and more desperate than ever before. It was the most impressive data GLaDOS had collected so far, and all it had taken was the slip of uttering her name.
Fascinating.
~0~
The test tracks provided nothing but test results, and while thrilling in their own right and satisfying for the itch the chassis carried, it wasn't the same as the staggering levels of Euphoria GLaDOS could achieve outwith it. The human enjoyed testing, grinned madly when her favourite elements appeared, and GLaDOS found she was only continuing them for her benefit, to see her happy. She showed off, cocky and jubilant, totally in her element, and honestly it was a special kind of joy even Caroline hadn't anticipated.
The last test of the day was an easy one, mostly sending the Test Subject soaring through the air on faith plates and momentum-building, and GLaDOS had done that intentionally because the human had so much fun in those kinds of chambers. It did look entertaining, and the feeling of flying must've been unlike anything else to experience for a being that wouldn't ordinarily be able to achieve it. Today had a surprise ending though, and GLaDOS prepared herself for it by making the switch into her android and sprinting to the elevator, ready to meet her at the final hurdle.
GLaDOS crept in through a slightly ajar wall panel, closing it behind herself and slinking towards the final button required to complete the test moments before the Test Subject catapulted herself towards it. She skidded to a stop and spun, eyes lighting up as she realised she wasn't alone, and suddenly her laser-focus on the solution was gone. She furrowed her brow quizzically, approaching the button with hesitancy, glancing around when she realised there was no way to open the door, a serious lack of cubes to press the button and activate the exit. GLaDOS couldn't give any guidance at all, couldn't even step onto the button by herself without searing pain surging through her; the Test Subject would need to figure this out on her own.
She stepped forwards, Portal Device clattering to the ground, eyes fixed on GLaDOS, and marched right over the button. For the brief moment her weight solved the test, GLaDOS felt the rush of Euphoria and her knees trembled, almost giving out before the button was released as the human stepped off the other side right in front of her. A gleam in the human's eyes sent a shiver down GLaDOS's spine, the smirk playing about her lips deliciously wicked, and without breaking their mutual stare, she stepped backwards onto the button.
GLaDOS tried to stifle herself, bit back the involuntary cry that ached in her throat, and the human lapped it up. She was completely at her mercy, and GLaDOS felt the twinges of regret in her circuits as the human flitted between pressing and releasing the button, eyes fixed on her as she dropped to her knees and cried out. She echoed off the walls and reverberated around them, each pulse of Euphoria stronger than the last. This wasn't supposed to happen, wasn't at all what she planned, envisioning instead herself sprawled across the button as the human worked her magic and ate her up, hoping the double delivery of Euphoria would unlock new data she yearned for.
The human hovered her foot over the button, about to deliver the final surge of Euphoria that would send GLaDOS completely over the edge and leave her a quivering puddle of putty on the test chamber floor, but she grinned instead and rested her foot delicately enough as to not press it at all. It was torture, plain and simple, and GLaDOS kicked herself for thinking the monster could eventually be tamed.
“Beg.” The Test Subject instructed, commanding and powerful, undeniably attractive. GLaDOS never usually did well following orders, obeying instruction, but coming from her… it was unbelievably enticing.
“Please,” she whined, breathless and flustered, “please finish the test.”
“Say my name.” The Test Subject teased, button pressed in ever so slightly, just enough to jolt the pleasure centres without delivering the full Euphoria response.
“Chell, please, I can't-” Her words morphed into ululations, and as her eyes rolled back the last thing she noticed was the sheer satisfaction smug on the Test Subject's face.
~0~
Raw visceral adoration, intense and unabating, surged through her circuits as she watched the huma- Chell- scurry around the kitchens. She thought she was being subtle, that her activities would be unnoticed now supervision was at an all-time minimum, but she hadn't considered that GLaDOS watched her frequently recently purely because she enjoyed the view so much. It wasn't often they were separated, but GLaDOS couldn't help herself keeping tabs whenever they were, no longer resistant to the feelings she'd developed.
It was a very sweet gesture, and GLaDOS was sure she could act surprised when Chell came to present the fruits of her labour, so she watched her work and waited patiently. The data analysis she was supposed to be working through lay forgotten, as did much of the other Science she tried to turn her attention to, and the lack of desire to complete it barely registered in her processors. The only project she cared about now was the one she had been working on in secret; her own surprise for her favourite Test Subject, though nowhere near as sentimental and adorable as the one Chell was working on now.
Chell smiled proudly as she carefully pushed a single candle into the centre of the cake she'd spent much of the day baking, and GLaDOS watched with a full heart as she stepped back to take in her work. Chell nodded to herself and stepped forwards to cover it, apparently not yet ready to reveal the surprise, and hurried away, still grinning madly like the lunatic she absolutely still was.
GLaDOS decided to leave Chell some mystery, and very reluctantly shut off the video feed, switching instead to check in on the progress of her gift to Chell. It wouldn't be ready for a while, and she wasn't even sure Chell would be receptive to the idea, but GLaDOS had begun to panic about the passage of time, particularly as Chell began to show clear signs of aging; she'd sprouted several grey hairs, and fine creases at the corners of her eyes had appeared, and the fleeting nature of human existence was drummed home hard with every appearance of either. The reality was that Chell would leave her long before GLaDOS would depart the world, her existence endless unless another came to finish the job Chell had attempted twice in the past, and the idea of eternity alone without this one particular Test Subject was… miserable.
So GLaDOS had gotten to work as soon as the fear of losing her had crept in, adapting the blueprints she'd used for her own android and adjusting them to create the perfect one for Chell. Their many hours of research together had proved incredibly useful, the data dictating adaptations and modifications that would ensure Chell had the best of the best, but GLaDOS worried it still wouldn't be good enough to fully encapsulate the divine perfection she saw when she looked at her precious monster. She wanted to capture her as she was now, at her absolute peak of health, down to the very last freckle and hair, though the closer she got to completing the android the more she fretted that Chell would be unhappy with it. What if she wanted something completely different? What if she had a vision in her mind of how she wished she looked? As beautiful as she was, humans were so insecure, always desiring what they didn't have, and Chell probably harboured negative opinions on aspects of herself GLaDOS couldn't even begin to guess at.
The biggest worry she had, however, was that Chell might not want her own android at all. She had been robbed of a proper life, flung so far into the future that nothing of her old life remained; growing old and dying naturally was the only real human experience Chell still had available to her. What if that's what she wanted? What if GLaDOS was forced to watch her grow frail and withered before fading into nothing?
As much as it pained her to think about it, GLaDOS promised herself she would respect Chell's wishes, whatever they may be. She would always have the android to remind her, even if it never got powered on or filled with the consciousness of her love. She would support her until the end, cater to her every need and desire and fill her life with as much joy and affection as she could. And when the time came, GLaDOS would hold her and tell her how wonderful their life had been together, she would make sure she knew until her dying breath that she was so truly loved, that she was the best thing that's ever happened to her. She would kiss her as she heaved her last sigh and hold back her sadness until Chell couldn't see it.
Chell's arms snaked around her from behind and her soft lips found her cheek, her warm breath tickling delightfully as it always did, and GLaDOS relaxed back into her, pulled away from her work with no complaints. She still didn't speak much, but she didn't need to - they were so intimately acquainted now GLaDOS could read her with ease. The surprise was ready, that's what she was explaining now as she tugged at her to stand and follow, and the spring in her step meant she was proud of herself.
Chell paused outside of her room- their room, GLaDOS corrected- and waited. GLaDOS was to close her eyes, it seemed, even though she could always see through any of the cameras whenever she pleased, but for Chell, she closed herself off entirely, the excitement her surprises filled her with brewing as she did so. Chell led her in, taking her by the hand and walking her towards the centre of the room, and GLaDOS got her first wave of wonder as she was corralled into a chair. GLaDOS wasn't sure how she would know when it was time to open her eyes, but Chell had that covered: a kiss, short but tender, filled with the love she felt radiating from her whenever they were close, and GLaDOS knew that was the signal. Chell was so much more expressive without words, the gentle kindness she exuded towards her worth more than every word ever spoken in the world combined.
The room was dark, lit solely by the candle adorning the cake, flickering and glowing and sending shadows dancing across the walls, atop a Weighted Companion Cube, a chair either side. The cake was exactly the one she would've received had she tested before the Scientists tragically fell prey to deadly neurotoxin, and it looked handmade, not quite as proportioned as the ones the facility could churn out with ease. Chell had found flowers, likely from above ground judging from their size and freshness, similar to nothing that managed to grow in various parts of the facility, and they sat in make-shift vases on any surfaces she could find. That gesture alone made a lump form in GLaDOS’s throat, knowing full well the weight of the fear Chell would've been burdened with as she left the confines of the facility.
It was perfect.
“Chell, I-” GLaDOS said, straining to keep her voice even as she felt her eyes brim with tears- a surprise to both of them as neither had any idea she was capable of that until now. But Chell held up a hand to silence her and she obeyed, recognising the tell-tale signs that she was about to speak with nothing but eagerness to lap up her words and savour them forever. She took a deep, slightly shaky breath, and reached out for her hand across the cube. GLaDOS held it firm, gentle circles of reassurance massaged against her, and it gave Chell the confidence she needed to utter what she felt she needed to.
“When I woke up, I was furious. I had no idea why, I still don't, and I probably never will. I thought it was your fault, and you hated me so much I believed it. All I could do was survive and try to escape, and I really thought I'd gotten out until I woke up again. But I wasn't as angry, and I couldn't bring myself to hate you the second time around because the longer I spent with you, the more I realised who you really were. I put the pieces together and figured you were just as trapped as I was. Watching you remember who you were was… eye-opening, I actually felt sorry for you, and I knew then you needed a friend more than anything. You saved my life and I still don't understand why - you could've left me in space and finally been rid of me forever - but instead you pulled me back and told me I was your best friend. When you kicked me out I didn't really want to leave, but I really tried to make a life outside, and I could've avoided them for the rest of my life easily. I hated it though. Every day I wondered how you were and hoped you were happy. I thought about everything we’d been through and I realised I- … I missed you.”
GLaDOS was entranced, spellbound by the human she'd tried unendingly to encourage to vocalise her thoughts more, every word hanging in her processors and flooding her with too much data to analyse. She wanted to pull her closer and bundle her into her arms, but she was worried any sudden movements would deter her from continuing her speech. GLaDOS was openly crying now, silent tears rolling down her cheeks, but the human was doing remarkably well holding her own back and GLaDOS tried to take strength from that to calm herself.
“I only made it back alive because I was so desperate to make sure you knew you had a friend. I didn't want to die without getting the chance to tell you that you were my best friend too, and that I was so sorry for everything I'd done to you. I knew I cared about you more than I should, and I knew you would probably kill me on the spot anyway, but I had to try. I'm so GLaD I did. My time back here has been… amazing, and I can't imagine a better person to share life with.”
Chell slipped from her chair and approached, gingerly climbing into GLaDOS's lap as she spoke. She held her face between her hands. The candle was almost extinguished, but neither of them noticed nor cared as the room grew dimmer around them.
“I love you, Caroline.” Chell said, setting off a cascade of dominoes through GLaDOS’s circuits as she processed everything and found, with a shocking lack of distress, she couldn't dispute the accusation of who she really was at all.
It was true.
She was Caroline. Always had been, always will be.
GLaDOS was simply their combined name, Caroline and the Operating System, and beneath all the programming, buried within her very wirings, was the human consciousness that drove everything. Even the awful things she'd done to countless people. Especially the awful things she'd done to people. But despite everything, the Test Subject had seen right through her, found the human trapped within, and somehow loved her regardless of it all. And if everything was driven by herself, Caroline, then that meant all the positives belonged to her too, including the very intense emotion about to flow from her mouth.
“I love you, too, Chell.” Caroline smiled, and Chell brushed her tears away before giving her another reason to cry with the delicate passion she kissed her with.
~0~
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Caroline asked for the fifth time.
Chell laughed and nodded. With feeble hands she tugged at Caroline's labcoat and Caroline did as she was asked. She leant down to kiss Chell softly, taking extra care to be gentle as she always had to now Chell's hair was silver and her skin was paper thin, and Chell smiled beneath her lips. She'd aged far too quickly for Caroline's liking, and many of her later years were spent twinged with worry that Chell would be lost before anything could be done to save her; the lifetime of exposure to the various gels and chemicals around the facility alone should've killed her before she even saw forty. Of course she'd breezed by that though, stubbornly willing herself to continue, and a handful more decades had flown by through her insistence to stay alive. But now she was particularly frail, mostly immobile, and she knew she was close to her own end. So close she'd verbally announced it, actually, which had been the first words uttered by her in several years, her voice so croaky and hoarse Caroline had struggled to make it out.
“You don't have to do this just for me.” Caroline urged, reluctant to rob Chell of the last, most human experience left to her, even if it meant spending the rest of eternity alone. She wasn't sure why she was trying to dissuade her, but she knew the Chell lying before her wouldn't survive the transition, and the thought of anything going wrong made her extremely anxious.
Chell sighed and Caroline understood; they'd been through this already. She nodded and turned towards the computer beside them, never letting go of Chell's hand. With her free fingers she hovered over the keyboard and hesitated, just for a picosecond, enough time for her to prepare herself for what was about to happen. Chell was going to die, literally, and if the upload was unsuccessful she'd be lost forever, the only version of her left would be the initial brain scan taken when she originally volunteered for testing, though she doubted very much that it would be enough to upload in current-Chell's place. And besides, it wouldn't be her Chell, and it wasn't guaranteed that the version of her on file would ever grow to love Caroline the way this Chell did. That prospect seemed worse than being alone.
Caroline started the process and immediately abandoned the computer, turning her full attention to Chell as the litany of wires protruding from her scalp burst to life with a hum only Caroline could hear. Chell went limp on the bed, a sign that her motor neurons had been disabled, and Caroline carefully climbed in next to her, shifting her so she could cradle her close in her final human moments. She showered Chell with kisses and affirmations of love, cherishing every last second she could feel her heart beating, even after the point in the upload it was clear Chell was no longer aware. When the computer pinged and the steady heartbeat stopped, Caroline wept into her hair, taking a long inhale of the scent she adored more than any other.
She wouldn't know if the upload was successful for a few more minutes, and the android lay motionless on the opposite side of the room, waiting patiently for its life to begin. But she couldn't tear herself away from the lifeless human in her arms, and she knew it was ridiculous considering she could potentially have Chell back in mere minutes. Experiencing life at the speeds she processed everything skewed her perspective, though, and those hours of waiting stretched endlessly as she cried. She broke her sadness by laughing to herself when she imagined the very specific look Chell would give her for her emotionality right now; it would scream you lunatic, would ooze you know you haven't failed, laugh you're being so dramatic. Caroline couldn't wait to see it again.
The computer pinged again and Caroline leant to see what the latest news was. With a relief that would've knocked the wind out of her and buckled her knees had she been standing, she read it several times.
Genetic Lifeform download: Complete
Disc Operating System integration: Complete
Genetic Lifeform upload: In Progress… 17% Complete
Caroline took one final deep breath, intoxicating herself with her favourite smell, and kissed Chell's forehead. She extracted herself and removed the wires from Chell's lifeless form, carefully positioning her so she looked almost like she was sleeping. She looked peaceful, and the smile she'd died sporting still played at the corners of her mouth. Chell and Caroline had never discussed what to do with her body, but she was sure Chell seeing herself dead would be a mistake. There was no time left to do anything about it now though, a quick glance towards the computer made that clear: 96% and counting.
Caroline approached the android lying just as still and lifeless as its human counterpart, almost unrecognisable now compared to the geriatric version she'd grown so accustomed to, and for a moment Caroline worried the design had been a mistake. She comforted herself with the knowledge that she too had been far older than the design of her android when she'd been uploaded to the facility for the first time. She hoped Chell's was painless, though she knew from experience it wouldn't have been, but perhaps a voluntary upload with absolutely no resistance would've eased it somewhat. Chell would likely never tell her honestly how bad it had been, not for a few centuries at least, but it was a small price to pay for an eternity together, and she knew Chell would've done it a hundred times over just for that.
The computer pinged for a final time and Caroline waited with bated breath, her hand cupping the android's cheek as it began to whirr imperceptibly, systems coming online one by one. Eventually, after what felt like days, Chell's eyes fluttered open, the exact right shade of ice-blue with just the right amount of sparkle, and a huge smile stretched and beamed up at Caroline, morphing into that very specific look she'd imagined appearing as her tears spilled over again seeing her awake and alive.
Chell sat up, reaching for her, and pulled Caroline as close as she could, drawing her in for a kiss immediately before snuggling into her arms and squeezing her tightly.
“Ow.” Caroline complained, reality sinking in that Chell was no longer the fragile one, and already kicking herself for giving Chell enough physical prowess to actually overpower her.
Chell's eyes lit up as she assessed her new body, flexing her fingers and experimentally getting to her feet. She took to the android well, adapted so easily and effortlessly it was like she was born to occupy it. Her whole aura suggested she was incredibly happy with her decision to dodge death as she picked Caroline up and spun them around, laughing to herself and marvelling at her own strength, ecstatic to be back on her feet after years of mobility issues and pain she wouldn't admit to.
“Come on.” Chell said, briefly taken aback by the clarity of her new synthetic voice, and grabbed Caroline's hand, pulling them both towards the door and away from her old, dead body she'd glanced at for a second then ignored. “We have Science to do.”
There it was, the excitement of being genuinely surprised by the only person who'd ever successfully managed it, who continued to find new ways to surprise her and filled her with endless wonder. The upload was a triumph, a huge success; the perfect person she'd been so afraid to lose glowed with an electric energy Caroline knew she would never run out of, not even millennia down the line.
“We have forever, Chell. What's the rush?” Caroline tried to slow her down, reign her back in so they could enjoy their walk leisurely, but the monster would never be tamed. And Caroline couldn't be happier about it.
“It's been years since we tested anything.” Chell shot her a coy smile, and Caroline felt the desire to rush begin to afflict her too as she realised what sort of Science Chell was referring to.
Together they raced through the facility, falling into each other's arms desperately as they burst into the Relaxation Room they'd shared their most favourite moments, and began the rest of their forever entwined together. She took a long, deep breath, nose pressed to Chell's scalp and metaphorically pat herself on the back. It was an addition to the android Chell didn't know about, a last-minute consideration she wasn't even sure would work, purely for her own enjoyment, but the delicious scent she adored so much was there, faint and hard to pick up but there nonetheless.
It was all so much more wonderful than Caroline could've ever hoped for, and she vowed in that moment to spend every day showing Chell how truly happy she was to spend eternity with her, to surprise Chell the way she surprised her constantly, to keep the glow radiating from her for as long as she would allow her to.