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Simon was dead and it was exactly like Father had described.
His arm didn’t hurt anymore, in fact he didn’t feel anything except the warm blood on his face. At least he assumed it was blood. He had too much of it on his hands to go to Heaven and it made a sick kind of sense that this moon was his Hell.
Well, Simon and a couple dozen other damned souls.
It was hot and dark, but at least he wasn’t in pain. Father always promised that the Children who killed in his name would find themselves on the most comfortable level of Hell. It would be all psychological because post-Rapture was pain enough.
He didn’t know how much time passed. It didn’t matter here.
Time had passed though because he’d fully embraced that this was his eternity when the Light appeared.
He tried to scream and to fight but there was nothing he could do as his soul was brought to the Light.
The ghosts had been right. He understood everything.
“How many more would you kill to live?” The light taunted him. “You could save yourself. You know how to do it.”
The Light clearly thought this was a hard decision and maybe it should have been. Simon could undo the Quiet Rapture. He could slow the Star Killer down and fix everything.
Everyone he had ever known would cease to exist. This version of him would cease to exist. He would kill hundreds, but it would save a countless number of lives.
Including his own, he knew only because the Light had used his survival as bait to tempt him.
“Jokes on you, asshole. I still get the short end of the stick even if I survive.”
The last thing he heard was a whispered, “That’s the point.”
It had been two weeks since his rescue and Simon was starting to wonder if he would have preferred the isolation of the submarine. At least there, he hadn’t constantly been tempted by what he couldn’t have.
It had been years since someone touched him skin to skin. He couldn’t even remember when. It had to have been sometime before Filament Station, one of the other Brothers.
There was no softness among the Children of Eden. There was only strength and power. His partners had all thrown themselves at him, fighting for dominance or secretly wanting to surrender it to him. He’d always won. The one time he’d tried to throw one of these fights - curious and tired and just wanting to let go - the other man had been disgusted. Not too disgusted to let Simon fuck him though. Simon knew what everyone expected and wanted from him. He told himself that he liked holding power over others. The sex felt good. He must have enjoyed it.
Then Filament had happened and prison and the iron lung. Nobody had touched his skin, except to burn away his tattoo. That didn’t count though, they’d worn gloves. Just like how Grace wore gloves when he was taking care of him.
Even now, Grace wouldn’t touch him. Not after how much Simon had winced during his recovery. He’d apologized every time he changed a bandage, misunderstanding. Simon wasn’t brave enough to tell him that it wasn’t his touch, it was his own body that distressed him.
He assumed it would distress most people, but Grace was different. He was fascinated by all of Simon’s changes. He took countless pictures of teeth and scales and webbed toes. He’d used a dozen different instruments on the tiny gill hole that rested over the scar that was once the Last Tree.
Grace examined all of these mutations thoroughly, wearing his heavy duty gloves to ensure he wasn’t pricked by any sharp edges.
Simon knew he wasn’t attractive, not anymore. No one would desire him again but Grace wasn’t disgusted.
Simon almost wished that he was. He wished that there was a cruel reason that Grace didn’t touch him without a thick barrier of protection.
Grace wasn’t cruel though and he wasn’t touch adverse. He touched the glass dome around Rocky all of the time, holding it in an embrace or stroking it like Simon once had his seedling pendant.
It was fine. Grace was trying to respect his boundaries and there was no reason to correct him. If he did, Grace would touch him and Simon knew he wasn’t strong enough to stop himself from wanting more.
“We need to pick a name for you.” Grace said one evening. At Simon’s silent confusion, he added, “For Rocky. He needs a word, like how he calls me their word for ‘grace.’ He’s still calling you Patient but you’re healed now.”
Simon didn’t feel healed and he didn’t want to be called by a word ever again. He was Simon. Why couldn’t anyone just let him be Simon?
“Do you want me to make suggestions-“ Grace started but Simon shook his head rapidly.
“No! My name is Simon. That’s it.” He felt his hands shake when he closed his eyes, holding in his anger until it passed. When he opened his eyes, only one hand remained.
“Okay.” Grace replied, his mouth a straight line.
Simon sighed. They may as while have the conversation now. Maybe then Grace would recoil from him and it would make the zero contact easier.
“They called me The Butcher.”
Grace’s fist clenched, but that was the only reaction he gave. Simon wasn’t sure if it was a protective gesture or if Grace was mad on his behalf.
“You don’t have to worry. I’m not going to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt anyone.” He tried to reassure, his voice breaking a little. He hated how weak he sounded and then hated himself more because he knew that his fear of vulnerability came from the Father. Father was still controlling his thoughts, even though Simon was no longer a believer.
“I just wanted to be good, to be loved by Father. I realized how wrong I was when we attacked another station. I tried to stop it, but I failed.”
His eyes stung but Simon wasn’t going to cry. He didn’t want pity, he just wanted Grace to understand why he didn’t want another name.
“I was the only survivor and I was punished and then… they put me in the iron lung. I wasn’t the first and they knew I was going to die. They didn’t even learn my name, just called me Convict.’
“They sent me to die and they didn’t even know my name.” He closed his eyes again, trying to reabsorb the water threatening to leak.
“Simon,” Grace said and his voice was so soft and understanding. There were tears trialing down his cheeks and Simon couldn’t take it. He opened his mouth to lash out, to say something to make Grace stop sounding like he was talking to a kicked puppy, but Grace’s hand was suddenly on his.
He stared down at it for a while, trying to process how it could feel so reassuring. He hadn’t been touched with kindness since his mother died. He wasn’t made for gentle touches.
“Sorry, is this okay?” He asked, his hand raising the smallest bit before Simon lifted his own.
“Yes.” He answered, just in case it wasn’t obvious. He didn’t want Grace to ever stop touching him.
It had been so long. A faceless man, probably. Someone who wanted something from him- no. That wasn’t right. He’d touched one of his brothers before the COI arrested him. He’d felt the warmth of their body fade. The last time he’d touched another human, it had been a corpse.
It was only fitting that the last person the Butcher had touched was dead. The Butcher was dead too. He died on Filament Station and then the Convict had piloted his body and died in an ocean of blood. Simon had become the Butcher once but maybe he could just be Simon again? He just wanted to be Simon. Simon was touching someone who had never known the violence following the Quiet Rapture.
“I didn’t come to space willingly.”
He felt his eyebrows crease as he met Grace’s eyes.
“You told me something painful, so it’s only fair I tell you. I told them no so they knocked me out and put me on this ship.”
Simon couldn’t imagine wanting to hurt Grace but he’d known enough cruelty in his life that he wasn’t surprised. Grace was strong but he was kindhearted… He was an easy victim.
It was entirely Simon’s fault that this happened to him. It was better than the alternative but it still hurt.
“I should have died out here, alone.” Grace continued. “But we’re alive, and we have each other and Rocky.”
Simon watched as his ears turned pink. It was cute?
“Sorry about before. He can keep calling you Patient, as long as that is still okay with you. Or he can invent something! He just thinks it’s more polite to ask.”
Simon forced himself to breathe. They weren’t trying to rename him. Rocky just wanted to be able to address him in a way that his vocal cords allowed. “I’ll think of something. I just need some time.”
It took twelve days. Grace and Rocky encouraged him to pick something he liked, something special to him.
“Where I’m from, we have these seedling bracelets. I had one in the ship but I lost it… Is Sapling too silly to be a name word?”
“What mean?” Rocky demanded.
“It’s a young tree.”
“Good. Good. Seed is too small. Tree is too big.” Rocky answered, rolling excitedly around him.
Simon looked to Grace for confirmation it wasn’t silly, but the other human just shrugged.
“I’m the least graceful person to ever exist. I can’t judge.”
Rocky nudged Grace’s leg, “Rocky sing name. Record! Record! Record!”
“Yeah, of course, buddy.”
Rocky took a moment and then he sang. It was longer than Grace’s name, as if he were adding chords. The computer picked up a couple meanings, tree and growth, but Grace designated the whole of them ‘Simon.’
“His name is so much nicer than mine,” Grace teased. “How come he gets a proper Eridian name?”
“Simon pick better word. Have real name. Not Grace.”
“I think you’re his favorite,” He patted Simon’s arm and he felt like he was going to melt.
Grace had been touching him more often, though it was always fleeting. Simon suspected Grace didn’t want to overwhelm him or something and it made those light touches seem all the more exhilarating.
He was pretty sure he would combust if Grace ever hugged or leaned on him the way he did Rocky.
It happened a couple days later. Simon was keeping Grace company in the lab while Rocky did his ‘private’ eating thing in on the other side of the ship. Grace sighed and stretched and then, in a fluid movement, he put his arm around Simon and rested his full weight on him.
Simon didn’t move, afraid Grace would pull away once he realized who he was leaning on. He worried his frantic heartbeat would give him away.
Grace laughed, “I’m not a horse, you don’t have to worry about me spooking.”
Simon didn’t know what he meant but he reached over to touch Grace’s chest. His heart was racing just as quickly.
“Is this okay?”
“Yeah,” Grace sighed. “You can touch me whenever you want. I… It’s been a long time since anyone has.”
So, Simon did. He traced a line up the front of Grace’s chest, to the hollow of his throat and both of them shivered from the contact.
“Can I touch your-“
“Yes, anywhere. Please.” Grace all but whimpered as Simon shifted to put them face to face. Even with the blanket permission, he hesitated before touching Grace’s face so he could pull away. It felt so much more intimate than the other touches he’d shared over the years.
Grace leaned forward, bringing their foreheads together.
He’d known that Grace was handsome but this close, he could see every blemish and laugh line. He’d lived a whole life before the Hail Mary and his skin reflected it. He was beautiful.
“Wow,” Grace whispered. “Your eyes are really pretty.”
Simon held back a laugh. “I can’t believe Ryland Grace, who can’t even say shit, is bullying me.”
“I’m serious.”
“You’re the pretty one. You own a mirror, you know I’m right. And my eyes are weird. One of them is red.”
“It’s very attractive. I’ve always kinda had a thing for unique contacts…”
He opened his mouth to explain but Simon didn’t need to know what contacts were. He pressed his lips to Grace’s, careful to angle the side with the protruding teeth away. It was awkward and he was definitely overthinking it but Grace’s hands were in his hair and their bodies were flush against each other.
Even through the barrier of clothes, it felt so nice to be this close to another person. It felt good to kiss someone, even if his mouth didn’t work the right way anymore. Grace didn’t seem to mind that Simon was bad at this because his jaw was bisected like an eel.
Simon needed more but he didn’t want to make Grace uncomfortable. Grace might not touch him again if he realized he wanted too much.
He made an embarrassing noise when Grace tugged his hair, sparks shooting down his body. Fuck. Maybe Grace wanted more too.
Simon pulled away from the kiss and nuzzled Grace’s shoulder with his safe cheek. “I don’t want to fight anymore.”
“Fight?”
Grace didn’t understand. Of course he didn’t. He was soft and kind. Grace had probably never had to choke someone out to avoid being bent over the nearest surface. He had never been sucker punched by someone who wanted to be roughed up and ravished.
“I don’t want to take you.” He said instead, hoping that made sense. Luckily, Grace nodded.
“I-“ he began, only to be interrupted by a series of whistles and trills coming from the doorway.
“Rocky heard pain sound!”
Grace stepped backward, but kept a hand on Simon’s shoulder.
“Not pain.” Grace said. Rocky didn’t have eyes but it still felt like he was staring at them. “I will explain later.”
“You can explain now.” Simon replied, a wicked smile coming to his lips. “I don’t mind.”
“Explain now.” Rocky repeated cheerfully. “Now! Now!”
Grace’s ears turned pink and Simon was pretty sure that he would rather throw himself out of the air lock than explain sex to his best friend.
“Later. I’m going to take a shower.” Grace announced, sliding past Rocky as if his glass ball didn’t take up the majority of the door.
“He’s faster than he looks.”
“Correct.” Rocky started to roll back out and then stopped. “Rocky… understand now. Rocky not bother Grace Simon next time.”
“Thanks, Rock.” He said, offering him a fist bump.
They didn’t talk about it again. Rocky gave them space but Grace seemed happy to just press himself to Simon’s body and play with his hair.
Kissing was getting easier. He stopped trying to freeze the new half of his mouth, no longer paranoid his teeth would find a way to scratch Grace’s face.
Every time they separated, Grace would hold Simon’s face and look at him in awe for a few moments. He was probably making an equally sappy expression. It didn’t matter, as long as Grace smiled at him.
Touching himself proved to be a new problem.
There wasn’t a lot of privacy on the Hail Mary, except when Rocky slept in the lab. Simon usually liked to keep watch with Grace but it wasn’t like he was expected to be there.
He was different now too. His body hadn’t felt like his own, hadn’t felt right. Grace had clinically examined him and said that aside from the obvious visual changes, everything was ‘miraculously’ normal.
Except it wasn’t, because the first time Simon touched his dick in months his ass started to bleed.
No, not bleed. It wasn’t blood. It was clear and thick, like the salve he used to keep for chapped lips and cuts.
And sex.
His finger slid in easily, like his body wanted itself to be prepared for when Grace finally touched him. The scent of musk fulled the room as he pushed a second finger inside. It wasn’t enough, even adding a third didn’t make him feel full. His fingers weren’t long enough, he needed more. He needed Grace.
He whined as he pulled the digits out and wrapped his hand back around his cock. The easy slide back and forth almost made up for how empty he felt. He sped up, fist flying over his dick until his arm burned. It wasn’t enough. He needed something inside him.
“Fuck,” Simon mumbled as he flipped onto his stomach and found a decent angle to rut against the too smooth sheets. His hand shot back to his ass, back arching to let himself push deeper.
“Fuck,” he repeated, suddenly finding himself dangerously close to the edge of coming just from having two fingers inside him.
In this position, it was easy to imagine Grace was the one stretching him open. How Grace would start out gentle until Simon begged him for harder and faster.
“Please,” he whispered. His shoulder was so sore but he couldn’t stop, he needed it. He needed it so much.
One of his fingers pressed against something that made him see stars and suddenly he was spilling all over his bed.
He didn’t tell Grace about it.
Simon was pretty sure he would have to at some point. Probably. Hopefully. But for now, it was nice to have something that he could keep to himself.
“I promised Rocky I would watch you sleep but I’m exhausted,” Grace said, slipping into his bunk. “Can we… just nap together?”
“Please.” Simon scooted forward, giving Grace room. Then he scooted again when he felt Grace at his back. And then again, almost pressed to the wall.
“Do you not like cuddling?” He asked and Simon finally realized that Grace had been touching him on purpose.
Simon glanced back at him. “Brothers of Eden do not touch in sleep. It serves no purpose. We cannot lose focus on the mission.”
“Brothers of Eden don’t cuddle,” Grace said, brushing a kiss to his naked back. “But does Simon want to?”
He let himself relax into Grace’s arms. Eden didn’t exist, would never exist, and even if it did the Father could go fuck himself.
“I don’t even believe in it. It’s just… what I was trained to default to. Sometimes when I’m tired or overstimulated, I forget I’m not him anymore.”
“It’s okay,” Grace said, giving him another quick kiss. “May I take my shirt off? You’re very warm.”
“It’ll just make you warmer… if I know that, you definitely know that.”
“Caught me.”
“You can take your shirt off but it’s your fault if you get impaled on one of my spikes.”
“They aren’t long enough and they’re dull.”
“Is this the real reason you’ve been filing them during my check ups? I thought it was so I didn’t rip all of your shirts.”
“Go to sleep, Simon.”
“You’re a wicked man, Grace.”
“Heaven forbid a man be prepared if he gets the opportunity to snuggle his man.”
Simon wasn’t sure what being someone’s man entailed, but he decided it sounded nice as he let sleep take him.
He woke up with Grace’s thigh between his legs and his hard dick pressing into the meat of his ass.
It wasn’t unusual for one of them to get an erection when they touched. It had been a long time for both of them and it was just so, so good to touch someone directly. They still hadn’t discussed if they were going to do anything about them yet, but Simon was patient. He was good and he would wait.
“Grace?” He tried, voice rough from sleep. “Wake up.”
Grace hummed and flexed his hips, grinding against him. He bit back the noise of encouragement his body tried to make. If Grace wasn’t asleep, this would be really hot. But he was and the last thing Simon wanted was for Grace to feel too awkward to cuddle him again.
“Grace.” He wiggled, hoping that would help stir him.
“Five more minutes.” He mumbled, trying to turn. He was stopped by his leg, still stuck in Simon’s thighs, and that seemed to at least get his attention. “Huh?”
He wiggled a little more and Grace startled, his knee nearly grazing Simon’s balls.
“Fuck, relax,” He muttered, lifting his leg as much as he could with the blankets tangled around them. Grace slipped free. He told himself that he didn’t miss the contact that much.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” He flipped onto his back so he could watch Grace sit up and find his glasses. The tent in his pants was still there and Simon wondered if Grace would rut against him again if he asked.
“We should talk.”
Simon looked between his face and his dick, making sure that Grace understood when he asked, “Would you like to finish what you started?”
This time, his entire face turned pink as he jerked the blanket up to hide his arousal.
“It doesn’t have to be on me. Or in this room. Or I could go, but full disclosure I am in the same condition. So… stay?”
“I don’t… I’ve never done that.” Grace said after a moment, staring at his groin in annoyance.
“Jerked off?”
“No,” Grace laughed. “Of course, I have. I meant with another person… I have never wanted to before.”
“We aren’t just talking about masturbation, are we?” Simon asked, a pit of shame forming in his stomach. He knew there were people who didn’t like sex, had even considered that he might be one of them for a time. Had Grace been grossed out when Simon brought it up before?
“No.” Grace admitted. “I don’t usually want to do anything with anyone. But you’re… different.”
“Because I’m the first person to touch you in years?” He wasn’t sure if he liked that explanation but it made sense. At the very least, he felt less disgusted with himself for all of the thoughts he’d allowed himself since that first kiss.
“No. Well? Maybe. Can’t rule it out.” Grace gave a small, awkward shrug. “I think, maybe, that it’s because I like you as a person?”
Simon snorted, “You couldn’t find someone as fucked up as me on Earth?”
“You’re not fu- fudged u-“
Simon gave him a gentle shove, “You’re not a teacher anymore. You can say fuck. In fact, you should say it because we’re both fucked up. Rocky too, probably.”
That at least made Grace smile, “Yeah, probably.”
“Do you think it’s all the teeth?”
“What?”
“Are you attracted to me because I don’t look completely human?”
“Probably not?”
“No sexual thoughts about Rocky?” He teased.
“He’s my best friend! Of course not!” Grace protested, a bit too quickly. Simon decided he wouldn’t press that bruise. Not right now.
“So, you have thoughts about me?” He teased, enjoying how Grace got even redder. “And you like me as a person?”
“We have been kissing for weeks.”
“A week and a half. A scientist should be more precise.”
“I thought… I assumed that meant we were in a relationship of sorts?”
“We are,” Simon said quickly. He hadn’t known that, hadn’t even hoped that this was more than just two people needing contact, but he didn’t like the hurt sound in Grace’s voice. “I just… I don’t expect people to like me.”
“Well, I do.” Grace said, like it was a fact. It made Simon’s stomach feel weird, but not sick… Happy nerves perhaps? This was such a strange conversation. Things had been easier on Eden. Well, they’d been complicated just in a way that he was more familiar with. There were no strangely happy-nervous feelings on Eden.
“This is the part where you say you like me too.”
“Well, obviously.”
Grace mumbled something that sounded like ‘freaking Han Solo’ which was just another thing that he didn’t need to understand because kissing seemed like more fun. At least until they heard Rocky singing nearby, “Human reproductive activity finish, question? Rocky need sleep! Sleep! Sleep!”
Rocky did not believe Grace when he tried to explain that they’d only been talking their feelings. He refused to sleep in the dorms because ‘not want know human reproductive activity smell’ and ‘pheromones stinky enough.’
“It’s not even reproductive,” Grace argued, rubbing his eyes. “We can’t reproduce.”
Whatever Rocky said didn’t translate but he refused to elaborate on its meaning and promptly fell asleep in the lab.
“I was dreaming about you.” Grace said, leaning back against the wall of the green house while Simon checked on the plants. It was the first time they’d been alone in days, not that Simon minded. Grace still touched and held him. They snuck kisses while Rocky slept and held hands when they all watched movies. It was nice, not having to rush.
“What was I doing in your dream?”
“Me.”
Simon set down the pruning shears he’d been using to cut away the drying tips of a plant he hadn’t been able to completely save from Grace’s poor gardening.
“That’s not very descriptive.”
“Sorry, I don’t have much experience talking about it. Maybe I should show you?”
All of the blood in Simon’s body rushed to his gut. There was none left in his brain, so he could only manage an ‘okay’ before Grace was dragging him back to the dorms.
“Okay. Sit down.”
Simon sat on the edge of the bed and held his breath as Grace swung a long leg over his lap.
“We were like this,” He said, pushing his messy blond hair away from his face and almost knocking his glasses off. “And your hand was on my hips.”
He gave Grace his hand and let him put it where he wanted, surprisingly low for someone who had never let anyone else touch him.
“I’m much higher up than I thought I’d be.” Grace said having to awkwardly bend over so that their mouths could meet.
“What else?” Simon asked when Grace pulled back, his pupils blown wide from just sitting in Simon’s lap and kissing.
Grace blushed as he rocked his hips experimentally. He wasn’t anywhere near Simon’s dick and that just made his blush darken.
“Sorry, I’m not good at this.” Grace tried to stand up but Simon pulled him back.
“You’re not bad, just inexperienced. That’s normal.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“When you jerk off, what do you think about?”
Grace bit his lip and looked away.
“Before you discovered how sexy men with maws are.”
“I don’t know. No one? It was only for biological necessity.”
“No one?”
“Well, like you said, I didn’t know that there were sexy men with maws waiting for me in space.” He teased, kissing Simon’s cheek just above where his mouth extended. It should have been sweet, but it stirred something in him. Something that wanted to bite and claim Grace as his own.
That was... weird. He didn’t want to hurt Grace, not really. He just wanted to mark him.
“Sorry. I know you don’t want to… be in charge? Or, uh, just top in general? I don’t understand the rules where you’re from.” His voice cracked and Simon knew that Grace was about to cry.
“You’re right, I don’t want to lead.” Simon said, pressing light kisses to Grace’s hand. “How about I give you some options and you tell me what you want?”
Grace sighed in relief and nodded.
“Do you want me to touch your legs or your chest?”
Grace considered before lifting his shirt and tossing it away.
Simon placed his palm just above Grace’s navel, stroking the flat planes of his stomach with his thumb.
“Can I go higher?”
“Yeah.”
“You have nice pecs. The first time I saw you shirtless, I thought, ‘there’s no way he’s actually a scientist.’”
“Your pecs are bigger.”
“We’re not talking about my boobs right now,” Simon chided which made Grace smile. Until his hand brushed over a nipple and Grace’s whole body jerked.
“Good?”
“Yeah. Very good.”
Simon gently scratched through his chest hair as he switched sides. He kept his touch light and teasing over pale nipples, but firm as he continued out to the sides where a gentle caress would tickle.
“More, please,” Grace whined the fourth or fifth time that Simon’s featherlight touch barely kissed a hardening nipple.
“Here?” Simon asked, teasing the faint crease between his pecs.
Grace glared at him.
“Or here?” He added, finally giving Grace what he wanted.
“Y-yes! More of that,” He whined as Simon rolled the small peak of his nipple with his thumb. “Mmm, both?”
Simon leaned in to swipe his tongue over the other one, shuddering when Grace’s hips jumped in his lap. He was so sensitive and the more Simon licked and sucked, the more Grace writhed against him.
“Oh!” He gasped when Simon took it between his teeth, his hands flying to Simon’s hair. “Yes, yes please!”
Simon flexed his split jaws and Grace moaned, grinding up into Simon’s stomach.
He pulled off with a quiet pop, “You’re wearing too many clothes.”
“Just me?”
“You’ll have to get up if you want my shirt off.”
“Oh! Oh my goodness, I’m sorry,” He babbled, scrambling off Simon’s lap so he could lean forward and tug the shirt off. “Oh! Your scales!”
Simon glanced down at his shoulder, where the patch of scales was sparkling under the light, reflecting a rainbow of colors. It was kind of pretty, even if it made his skin crawl to know it was part of him.
“Yeah, I guess you haven’t seen them with the lights on for a while. I’ve been moisturizing.”
“They’re holographic.”
Simon shrugged, “I guess it’s a really good moisturizer.”
“You’re amazing.” Grace breathed, reaching out. “Can I-“
“Yeah.” He barely had the word out when Grace’s hands were on him again, nimble fingers tracing where skin turned to scale. It sent little sparks of pleasure down his back, as if that jagged line was somehow more sensitive.
The scales were the opposite. He could feel the warmth and pressure of Grace’s hand but not how soft it was.
Grace winced when he tried to run his hand back up Simon’s shoulder.
“Do you miss your gloves?”
“Not at all,” Grace replied earnestly. “I want to touch everything.”
Simon smiled, “Everything?”
“Well, maybe not the hole in your neck. I don’t want to, like, choke you.”
Simon rolled his eyes and laid back, arm folded behind his head. “Go ahead and touch me.”
Grace was back on his lap in seconds, palms cupping Simon’s pecs and mouth planting quick kisses up and down his throat. He made a loud, exaggerated “mwah” when he kissed Simon’s gill hole. It was cute. Everything about Grace was cute. He was warm and somehow the weight of his body was comforting. Simon hadn’t known it could feel comforting.
“I want to make you feel good.” Grace whispered, one of his thumbs rolling over a nipple. “Tell me how.”
“That’s good. Really good.” Simon panted as Grace sucked a bruise into his neck. He was already getting wet, the scent of musk filling the air. He buried his hand in Grace’s hair, tugging when he felt teeth against his skin.
Grace moaned right into his ear, his breath sending tingles down Simon’s back.
“What else do you like?”
Simon’s cock twitched and he was sure that Grace felt it, because he let out a shaky breath.
“I could show you,” He offered, fingers teasing the front of Grace’s waistband. “We can show each other how we like it.”
Grace huffed a short laugh, “I hope you like quick and efficient.”
“Sit up a little, there you go,” He praised, finally able to get Grace’s pants down just enough to free his cock.
Grace’s hips bucked, thrusting into his hand.
“Sorry,” He apologized immediately, his whole body freezing up.
“Don’t be embarrassed. I want you to feel good too.”
Grace’s hand found its way to his dick as well, rubbing it gently through the thin material of his pants before sliding around to the back.
Simon was all too happy to lift his hips and let Grace feel him up. It also lined their hips up perfectly.
He let go of Grace’s dick so he could free his own and brought them together.
“Oh,” Grace let himself thrust again, a thick bead of precum leaking onto them both. “That’s so good.”
Simon made a sound of agreement that turned into a moan when Grace rubbed just above his entrance.
“Is that-“
“You don’t have to ask. If I don’t like something, you’ll know.” He promised, arching his back to kiss Grace with a tenderness he hadn’t known he was capable of.
Grace moved slowly and Simon wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to give Simon time to say no or if it was nerves. It didn’t matter though, not when he was finally where Simon needed him.
“You’re already kinda… wet?” Grace paused, looking up at Simon with confusion.
“Oh. Yeah. That’s normal.” He wondered if he’d be able to play it off as a weird form of evolution that would eventually happen in the next three hundred years.
“Your timeline must diverge even further back than we thought.” He said, pulling away to sit back on his heels.
“I know that look. That’s your ‘I need to spend twelve hours minimum contemplating this’ look.” Simon accused. “It’s from the blood ocean. I’ve stopped questioning all the weird shit it did to my body.”
“That’s… I’m so sorry, but that’s even more interesting.” Grace admitted. He did genuinely look sorry, but he was also pushing his pants and underwear the rest of the way down. Simon wouldn’t escape a several hour long conversation about this but that would come later.
“Like I said, it’s normal for me.” He shimmied and kicked his pants the rest of the way off. “I, ah, can’t come without touching my ass. So, there’s a biological reason.”
Grace’s eyes widened and for a second, Simon worried that he might have miscalculated. Then Grace pushed his middle finger in.
“Wow, you’re so wet.”
Simon could only moan as Grace curled his finger, stroking his insides.
“Fuck, just a little further u- fuck! Yes, there,” He babbled as Grace brushed the spot he could barely reach. “Oh, that’s so good. Grace, please, need more.”
“Shhh.” He soothed, adding a second finger and pushing in and out. It was too slow and Simon wanted to beg, wanted to tell Grace he wasn’t fragile and that he could take whatever he would give him.
He couldn’t say any of that though. Not when Grace was looking at him like he was something precious.
“Think you can take a third?” Grace asked, looking up through his crooked glasses.
“I don’t need it. I’m good.”
Long fingers stretched apart and Simon’s body gave much too easily.
“Amazing,” he said, withdrawing and bringing the fingers to his face. He stopped a mere breath away from his mouth. “You smell so good, Simon. You have no idea how badly I want to taste you.”
His cock twitched. There was no way Grace hadn’t noticed.
“Next time. When we’re done, I’m going to study the heck out of this and as soon as I confirm it’s safe, I’m going to devour you.”
Simon groaned, “Fuck, Grace. You can say something that filthy but can’t even say hell?”
Grace crawled up his body and placed the slick fingers to his lips, “Whatever it is, it won’t hurt you.”
He closed his eyes and let his jaw drop. For all of his earlier awkwardness, Grace didn’t hesitate now. He pressed down on Simon’s tongue, making him taste himself as Grace’s fingers slid all the way back to his throat.
He stayed frozen still, forcing himself to accept the intrusion. He couldn’t let himself choke, if he moved his teeth would shred into the soft skin. Spit welled in his mouth and his throat wanted to close up, to force Grace out.
Focusing got harder as Grace fucked his fingers in and out experimentally, like Simon was another mystery he needed to explore.
“You’re being so good for me,” Grace whispered and Simon moaned, unable to stop himself. Fuck, why was that so hot?
Grace was smiling when Simon opened his eyes, his glasses all but falling off his face. It was so silly but also just so soft and so Grace.
“I can’t believe how lucky I am.” He continued, “You’re so beautiful.”
Simon moaned again at the praise. He wouldn’t call his face beautiful but he had no doubt that Grace was being honest about thinking so.
“I’m going to need my hand back before I embarrass myself.” He said, apologetically. Simon whined at the loss but it was hard to be too upset when Grace was hiking one of his legs up and guiding himself to Simon’s entrance.
Simon’s voice cracked on a moan.
“Do you still want this?” Grace asked, the head of his dick teasing around the opening.
“Y-yeah,” he rasped out. “Fuck yeah, Grace, ple-“
The rest of his begging was cut off by a moan as the tip of Grace’s cock pushed inside of him.
“Oh. Wow, that’s so- you’re so-“
“More,” Simon begged, wrapping his legs around Grace’s waist and squeezing, trying to pull him closer.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Grace promised, sinking in slowly so that Simon could feel every inch. He was so much bigger than his fingers and every time he thought he couldn’t take anymore, Grace would push just a little more in.
“Simon,” Grace sighed once he was fully sheathed inside him, his eyes drifting shut. It sounded like a prayer.
The closest he’d ever gotten to worship was a whimpered “Butcher” as he’d pounded into someone. That had been a different type of worship though. A willing sacrifice to a god of hunger and cruelty. He had never been cherished, not like how his Brothers had loved and devoted themselves to the Last Tree and Eden.
Simon felt loved and he wanted Grace to feel it too, wanted him to know that Simon was his.
“Feels good, like I was made for your cock.” Simon whimpered, making Grace twitch inside him.
“You’re so good, so beautiful.” Grace babbled, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Simon’s ear. “Is it too soon for me to move?”
“Please,” Simon whined, rocking his hips back and forth as much as possible until Grace slowly pulled out. He whined again at the loss but then Grace was filling him all the way back up. In and out, again and again that perfect stretch and all the while Grace was whimpering praise that went straight to his dick.
“Everything about you is so beautiful. Your scales, your face, your perfect body.”
Simon couldn’t even reply, he couldn’t stop moaning as Grace hit that bundle of nerves inside him over and over.
“I’m not gonna last, I’m so sorry, it’s just so good. I didn’t know it could be like this.” Grace’s hips picked up speed.
Simon whined as he wrapped his hand around his cock. He needed to get ahead of Grace, needed to come with Grace still fucking into him. It must have made him clench up because Grace was biting his lip in concentration, trying to make it last.
At the last second, he tried to pull out but Simon wasn’t having that. He locked his ankles behind Grace’s hips, hand flying over his cock. He felt Grace’s pulse inside of him and when he tasted rich iron on his tongue, that was all it took.
Grace fucked him through his orgasm, even though he kept gasping with oversensitivity. Simon had always kind of liked the “too much, too good” feeling but he didn’t complain when Grace slid out of him.
“Wow.”
He lazily opened his eyes at Grace’s whisper and found him leaning over him, one hand covering a bisected bite mark on his shoulder.
“Fuck. I’m sorry, I didn’t-“
“Don’t apologize,” Grace interrupted, leaning down to kiss him. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”
“Says the virgin.”
Grace gave him a tap on the nose. “It was hot and I want you to do it again.”
Simon’s gaze flickered between Grace’s tear stained face and the blood. He wanted to bite him again. Hell, he wanted to lick the wound now and taste his blood.
But Grace was in pain, even if he’d liked it.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” He said, trying to sit up. “Fuck.”
“Are you okay?”
“Just a little sore,” Simon assured him, pushing through the ache. He could feel his own come starting to dry on his chest while Grace’s leaked down his leg. They both needed to clean themselves up before they left the room. He did not want Rocky making comments about how “leaky” humans were during his walk of shame.
“Oh, fuck, do you think Rocky heard?”
Grace’s face told him everything he needed to know.
It wasn’t hard to find his crew mates.
“Grace Simon neglect Rocky yesterday! Rocky alone. So lonely. Rocky cry remembering dead crew.”
“You were eating. You do that alone, so we did human stuff alone.”
“Grace steal all Simon time. Simon is Rocky friend too!” The alien accused but his song sounded light and full of mirth. “Rocky steal Simon today.”
“You can’t steal a person.” Grace grumbled, but Simon knew it was all an act. He’d grown so used to them both in such a short amount of time.
“I’m done with the plants.” Simon called, giving them time to pretend they weren’t talking about him.
“Hey,” Grace’s ears turned pink when he strode in.
“Simon,” Rocky sang, rolling over to him. “Tell Grace! Tell Grace, Rocky is Simon best friend.”
“You’re both my best friend.”
Grace’s smile slipped, just a for moment. It had been the wrong thing to say but Simon couldn’t figure out why.
“Simon Grace mates. Not friends.” Rocky protested, rolling his ball into Simon’s shin. “Adrain Rocky mates, not friends.”
“You don’t like your mate enough for them to be your best friend?” He asked, scooting around him to get a protein bar from the cabinet. Rocky ran into him again.
“Rocky love Adrian!”
“And you don’t love me?” Simon asked in mock offense.
“Simon tease Rocky.” Rocky said, leaving him to be next to Grace. “Grace mate is mean, mean, mean.”
“You’re the one who isn’t even friends with your mate.” Simon teased again, causing Rocky to whistle in annoyance and stamp his feet.
“Rocky change mind. No Rocky Simon bonding day.”
“Aw, come on, Rock. I’ve been looking forward to watching Cats with you.”
“You’re watching Cats without me?” Grace asked. “Who’s going to explain all of the made up words?”
“No explain!” Rocky cheered. “Only whimsy.”
“I hate both of you.”
They ended up letting Grace join but only after he promised he wouldn’t try to explain anything. He didn’t talk but Simon could feel his calming presence.
It was… helpful. Especially when one of the cats sang about how she used to be beautiful and happy.
Simon wasn’t sure he’d ever been happy, not like he was now. And somehow Grace thought he was beautiful with his deadly maw and his rainbow scales. He filed the spines on Simon’s back but that had been for function, not because he was disgusted by them.
He wasn’t sure that mate was the right word for them but he couldn’t think of anything better. They’d agreed that they were in a “relationship of sorts” and maybe it was okay that they weren’t defining what that was.
Simon liked Grace more than any other human he’d met. None of them even existed anymore, at least not yet. He didn’t want to think about that though, because it didn’t really matter that Grace was technically the only living person he knew. If he was going to love anyone, it would be Grace.
“Did you like it?” Grace asked after the musical, while Simon cooked.
“Yes. Very whimsy.” Rocky whistled. “Learned lots. Humans want death!”
“Ah, not quite.”
“I learned that cats in this timeline look like humans.”
Grace opened and closed his mouth, glaring at Simon as Ricky rolled and chirped his laughter between them.
Simon awoke to Rocky’s frantic trilling. He must have been thrashing in his sleep because the blankets were tangled around him and his pillow was drenched in sweat.
Something was very wrong with his body.
That wasn’t exactly a new thing but this was a different wrong than usual. It felt like his skin was too small, like it was stretching around his writhing guts.
“Simon is okay, question?” Rocky asked. He must have asked a few times because even the translator managed to sound worried.
Simon just looked at him and then realized that Eridians probably couldn’t read facial expressions.
“I don’t know.” He said, touching his lower stomach. “I’m not normal.”
“Appendix hurt, question? Ship remove Grace appendix! Rocky save Simon!”
“It’s not that,” Simon said with a wince at the lumps he could feel under his skin. It was probably just another strange mutation, maybe a gaggle of eyeballs come to join the scattering of scales and fang-like spikes that kept growing back, no matter how many times he’d tried to remove them.
He closed his eyes and forced the nausea back.
His body would probably never completely feel like his own, but he was just starting to feel more comfortable in the skin he’d been given. It felt like he’d have to start his acceptance all over.
At least Grace would be fascinated by whatever new horror manifested.
“You should probably go. I think I still have radiation poisoning.”
He didn’t actually know anything about radiation poisoning, except that he should have died from being in that sub.
It was always meant to be an execution.
Rocky moved closer and then whistled something that didn’t translate.
“Is that good or bad?”
Rocky considered before answering, “healthy,” instead. Fair enough.
His stomach eventually settled and Simon allowed himself to drift back to sleep.
He woke up hours later, feeling surprisingly fine. He couldn’t see the mass that had grown overnight, though he could still feel it when he pushed down.
“Are you sure I don’t have cancer?”
“Simon is healthy, statement.” Rocky replied. “Tell Grace, question?”
Grace.
Fuck, why did just the sound of Grace’s name make his whole body heat up? That wasn’t normal.
“Where is he?” He demanded, throwing off his blankets. Grace would frown because he hadn’t made the bed later, but Simon needed to be with him now. He needed to hear his voice and feel the warmth of another human body.
“Watching movie,” Rocky whistled, rolling back to give Simon space to leave. “Rocky sleep alone just once! Not want hear reproduction!”
“I’m not-“ Simon started but as he stood, he felt something shift inside him. Fuck, he really, really needed Grace.
“Reproduction! Humans gross! Gross! Gross!” Rocky chanted and then rolled into a corner behind the bed Grace usually used. “Come back! Watch Rocky sleep after!”
“Okay, okay. I-“
Rocky’s whole body slumped down, the way it always did when he went to sleep. It was spooky. He didn’t like watching Rocky sleep but he liked leaving him less. It felt wrong to abandon him like this, even though they all knew the ship was perfectly safe.
“Ah. Thanks, Rocky.” He said awkwardly from the doorway, realizing he had no idea what Rocky had been doing the last time they’d been intimate. Maybe the vulnerability of sleep was preferable to hearing -and seeing because that’s apparently how Rocky saw things- his crew mates having mind blowing sex. Again.
He owed Rocky big time, he decided as he climbed the ladder to the projection room. Simon didn’t recognize the movie but he could tell it was horror by all of the screaming. Grace didn’t show them these kinds of movies.
“Pause playback!” Grace yelled as soon as he noticed Simon at the top of the ladder.
He all but hurled himself into his lap. “Simon? Are you okay?”
He nuzzled Grace’s rough cheek. He felt so, so good.
“I feel strange,” He admitted. “Like I’ll be sick if I don’t hold you right now.”
“Do you think it’s because I came in you? Your body could be having a reaction to a foreign substance.” Grace’s voice was pitched with worry. “We should take you to the lab.”
“Rocky said I’m healthy. Last night too.”
“You were sick last night?”
Simon nodded and took a deep breath, breathing in Grace’s scent.
“Right here,” he said, taking hold of Grace’s wrist and bringing his palm lower.
“What the fuck?” He said and Simon couldn’t help but smile because he’d finally gotten Doctor Ryland Grace to swear and it had sounded so awkward on his tongue.
He wanted to comment on it but he couldn’t think of anything clever to say. Grace smelled so good and the skin of his neck was so, so soft. He wanted to bite it again, to feel the skin give way.
Grace pulled back, his eyes wide with alarm. “Si-“ He stopped and turned his head.
Simon followed his gaze to the screen where a struggling man was being held down against a table, blood staining the bottom of his white T-shirt. “Fuck, we need to go to the lab right now.”
Simon didn’t argue but he did drop fully onto Grace, hoping the dead weight would make him reconsider. It just made the panic worse.
“Fine.” He rolled off of him. “But you have to let me hold you while you do your scans or whatever. I need to touch you.”
Grace wiped a tear from his eye and nodded, gently pushing him back toward the ladder. “Let me go first, in case I need to catch you.”
This felt too dramatic. Rocky was the smartest being in the universe, according to Grace himself, and he’d said that Simon was fine. Sure, he felt really weird, but weird was normal! And he needed to touch Grace like he needed oxygen.
Grace couldn’t actually hold him but he stayed close and let Simon touch him while he drew his blood and placed it into a whirling machine. Simon followed him around the lab, one hand on Grace’s shoulder as he prepped an “ultrasound” machine.
“You couldn’t warm this up,” he grumbled as Grace rubbed a thick gel onto his stomach, but the computer was already reading his blood test results. A vitamin D deficiency was apparently his only issue but Grace had known that already. He’d been giving Simon a ton of pills for it every day since he’d come aboard.
“Okay, whatever this is should appear on that screen. You don’t have to look if you don’t want to.” Grace explained as he brought a wand to Simon’s abdomen.
It was kind of him to pretend Simon had a choice. Even though he desperately wanted Grace to abandon this, he also needed to know what fresh hell had grown beneath his skin.
It took a few moments of Grace moving and tilting but it revealed itself as a mass of ovals.
“What are we looking at, Mary?”
“Image search results: eggs shown in ultrasound.”
“Impossible.” Simon muttered. He hadn’t known what he’d expect but this? He couldn’t wrap his head around it.
“I think there are six of them… if they come out how I think they do, I might just be able to remove them by hand.”
“Do whatever you need to, just get them out of me.”
“Okay. Yeah. I can do this,” Grace said, though it sounded more like he was trying to reassure himself.
“There is no need for haste.” The ship interrupted. “The eggs appear to be unfertilized.”
Both of them looked at each other with relief.
“Recommended wait: two hours. Doctor Ryland Grace’s vitals suggest a panic attack will occur in the next five minutes. Mr. Simon <last-name> appears to be in a state of shock and will be unable to assist.”
Simon wanted to argue that the ship didn’t have eyes so he could not “appear” anything but it was probably right.
“Let’s just see what we’re dealing with first.” Grace suggested. “That way, I can use those two hours to come up with a game plan.”
Simon nodded and loosened the tie on his sleep pants. He kicked the material down and then finally felt the panic set in.
“What the fuck is that?”
“Oh. Oh shit. Can I-“
“Don’t touch it!” Simon tripped as he tried to back up. The thing, his dick, jiggled with the movement.
He took several deep breaths. It was okay, he told himself. It was still his cock. It was just wider and the slit was… noticeably larger when it moved. From this angle, he shouldn’t have even been able to see it.
Grace was never going to touch him again.
Not after this, not with his dick looking like giant, fleshy straw.
“It’s okay,” Grace replied. He didn’t look disgusted, but Simon was still pretty sure he was never going to risk fucking him again. “It’s really okay. It’ll go back to normal.”
“How can you know that?”
“It happened to me.”
“Fuck off,” Simon sighed, leaning down to tug his pants fully off.
“When I woke up, I accidentally pulled my catheter out. I was swollen for a few days but it went away.”
“And the tip?” Simon argued.
“Ah, yeah. Catheters have this bulb on the end. Usually if the tube is torn, it’ll deflate but I pulled it way too fast.”
Simon cringed, his cock hurting in sympathy. “Fuck.”
“I think your anatomy has changed to expel them.”
“What?”
“I don’t think it will hurt. The eggs are small and your body has clearly changed to accommodate. It might even feel good.”
It did not sound like something that would feel good.
“Rocky said the ship removed your appendix. That means it can just cut these out, right?”
“I do not have a program for that. Risk assessment thirty-eight point two percent chance of injury.”
Simon frowned at the ceiling, even though he knew there was no radio there to scowl at.
Grace wrapped an arm around him and Simon let himself lean into the touch.
“I promise, it won’t be that bad. When I was injured, I discovered there are actually a lot of people on the internet who enjoy, uh, that.”
“That?”
“Internal stimulation.” Grace answered. Simon was tempted to ask for further clarification, to make Grace describe where and how this stimulation happened, but he wasn’t in a teasing mood.
“Two hours.” He said with a sigh. “I get two hours and the information you found… Can people lie on the internet?”
“If they are, the videos were very convincing.”
“Okay. Two hours and the videos. Deal?”
“Deal.”
It only took about three videos for Simon to decide that yes, some people enjoyed having things inside their penis. It was weird but impossible not to be curious, especially now that he knew he could just request the Mary to show him videos of people having sex.
Sure, there had been a quick scene in the movie about an android that traveled back in time, but it hadn’t shown this much. He would have never thought to ask.
But Grace knew. It had taken him only twenty seconds to get all of the videos queued up for him on the laptop.
Where he was from, computers weren’t used for fun but he’d learned quickly how to use the device in front of him.
He tapped back a few pages, assuming he would find whatever file these had originally been saved in. Instead he found himself in Grace’s “recently viewed” folder.
It felt like an invasion of privacy but it was already loaded. The videos he’d just viewed were at the top, the date and time of viewing was recorded right next to their thumbnails. The next entry was from only two days ago, a video called, “intimate first time gay sex.”
Simon hesitated before he clicked on it. Two men appeared on the screen, fully clothed and kissing like they had all of the time in the world. He’d walked in on other men having sex but it hadn’t been like this. On Eden, they didn’t have time and they didn’t look at each other with that much yearning. Kisses were quick and vicious.
He clicked back, feeling like he’d seen something he wasn’t meant to. Which was weird because it had clearly been filmed for other people to watch.
He clicked on it again, this time dragging the timestamp about halfway through. To his relief, both of the men were naked. One was fingering the other, head dropping to lick at his partner’s dick.
‘I love you,’ The guy getting fingered said, out of nowhere. Simon clicked back again. He went back and forth about a dozen times. Clearly, Grace had watched this for instruction but was it also what he’d been expecting?
Had Simon failed him by not being so romantic? He had been impatient and just sort of let instinct take control at the end. He still hadn’t gotten the chance to apologize for making Grace come inside him, even though he was pretty sure he was only pulling out to be polite. It had just felt… important?
It was probably the fucked up monster dna, making him feel like he would die if Grace didn’t knock him up.
“Fuck,” He winced as he felt himself get a little wet at that thought. That was definitely not human Simon. He had denied the “honor” of being chosen for reproduction twice on Eden. He did not want to be a father, especially right now.
He was still hard though. There was a damp spot on the front of his pants. He lifted the waist band to look and yep, just as he feared. Both sides were self lubricating. Wonderful.
He closed the laptop and stretched. He didn’t need another hour to stress out about this.
Grace had built a nest in the lab. There was always a couple blankets stashed in there so that the humans could be comfortable while Rocky slept, but now there were pillows and soft clothes that wouldn’t fit either of them.
Grace looked incredibly comfortable, spread out with only a thin sheet covering him. The bite mark he’d been hiding was on full display and Simon felt a little feral seeing it.
“Sorry… ah. Rocky was in the dorm. I’m assuming he went to sleep alone on purpose?”
“Yeah. I promised we’d watch him when we were done.”
Simon fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. He was probably supposed to join Grace but it felt a little too… soft? He didn’t want to ruin it.
Grace nodded, thoughtful. “He knew. I think he’s known about this for a while.”
“I think you’re right,” Simon sighed. “He’s been using a lot of words that don’t translate.”
“He probably assumes this is normal. I never went out of my way to explain human biology.” Grace said with a small smile. “I thought I was being private but this whole time he knew you were going to lay your eggs inside me.”
“Huh?” Simon felt like he was in free fall. “Could you repeat that? I don’t think I heard you correctly.”
“Uh. You’re going to lay your eggs inside me, right?”
Simon blinked at him. He had assumed he was going to… just squeeze them out somehow? But the thought of Grace taking them sent sparks of arousal straight to his dick.
“Can I?” He asked, stepping closer. “You’d really take them?”
Grace shifted a little, the folds of the sheet moving to reveal how hard he was.
“I would, um, yes. For science.”
“Yeah, for science.” Simon repeated with only a hint of sarcasm. Grace didn’t call him on it.
“If you don’t mind being on top, of course.” Grace said, cheeks turning pink.
“If it means knocking you up, I’m more than okay with being on top,” He said before his brain could catch up. Grace had to readjust his erection, the tops of his ears already bright red.
“I didn’t mean it,” Simon added quickly. “I don’t actually want that.”
“It’s okay. It’s a biological imperative.” Grace nodded, “I’m probably also going to say things I don’t actually mean.”
“It’s really hot.”
“Yeah,” Grace agreed, sitting up and shuffling onto his knees. Simon stepped within reach and looked down in wonder as Grace teased his pants and boxers down. “I’ve never done this before.”
Simon tangled his fingers in Grace’s hair as he leaned forward, pausing him. “Did you test the slick?”
“Yeah, totally safe.”
“Good.” He let Grace lean in further and lick the head of his cock, tongue brushing over the enlarged slit. “Oh, fuck! Grace-“
Grace hummed in pleasure, teasing at the slit again before taking the head into his mouth.
He looked up at Simon through his eye lashes, gently sucking. It wasn’t the best blow job he’d ever gotten but there was just something really cute about Grace. Even if it had been bad or his teeth kept brushing against his dick, Simon knew he would still enjoy it because it was Grace.
One of the hands on his hips traveled down and back, rubbing at Simon’s hole and making his knees go weak.
“Fuck, Grace,” He whined, trying to steady himself on Grace’s shoulder and almost unbalancing both of them. “Fuck, hold on, let me just-“
He kicked his pants away and tugged off his shirt before crawling into the pile of blankets.
“Too much?”
“No, I just don’t want to destroy your knee caps. You’re too old to hold both of us.” Simon teased, tossing a pillow at him.
“Only if you count the decade I spent in a coma.” He protested, as if being asleep cancelled out the years. Maybe it did. Simon wasn’t a doctor.
Grace still tucked the pillow under his knees as he leaned forward to take his cock again. Simon whined as Grace’s tongue lavished attention on the thin, little nerve just under the head of his cock.
Once again, his fingers trailed down and circled Simon’s rim. They didn’t push, just circled.
And then they were gone. Simon watched Grace’s hand disappear between his own legs.
“Fuck, are you-“
Grace moaned around him, drool spilling down to the base of his cock as he tried to nod. He bobbed a couple more times before pulling away, his face scrunched up in concentration. It was the hottest thing Simon had ever seen.
“I want to see, lay back for me.”
Grace bit his lip before nodding and readjusting so that he was on his back. He pressed his fingers back inside with a low, satisfied sound l. His fingers were so thin, so much smaller than Simon’s. They wouldn’t be enough.
Grace whimpered when Simon replaced his fingers, adding more lube. He was so tight and warm, and something in the back of Simon’s mind told him that Grace was the perfect body to carry his eggs.
“Relax,” He soothed. “You’re so good, going to be a great father.”
Grace whined and he clenched down for just a moment and Simon hit just the right spot. It was like a switch had been flicked and suddenly Grace’s hips were arching into him.
“I have you,” Simon promised, copying something he’d heard in the video Grace had watched. He wanted to give Grace everything, wanted to be good for him. Grace deserved it.
He thrust his fingers in and out, spread them out as far as he could. The more slick he pushed inside Grace, the easier it got.
“Si’mon,” Grace’s voice broke on his name. He was crying again.
“Think you’re ready for more?”
“Need it, need you to fill me up.” Grace reached for him and Simon couldn’t refuse crawling over him and letting Grace embrace him.
Simon felt something shift inside him and his cock twitched. He wasn’t fully hard despite how turned on he was but it was enough that he could press into Grace, whose eyes went huge at the intrusion.
“Oh,” He sighed, arms squeezing Simon tight. Grace hid it well underneath his loose shirts and sweaters, but he was strong. “Wow. I thought it would hurt more.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Simon kissed him gently, right over the bite mark he’d left. “Except in the ways you like.”
Grace sobbed his name as Simon slowly pulled out and then gently filled him again. It wasn’t just that he wanted to be as good as possible for Grace, it also just felt nice to go slow. He’d never been afforded the luxury of time.
“I wish I’d known it would be like this,” He whispered into Grace’s ear. “I don’t think I prefer the bottom.”
“That good?”
“No. Well, yes. You feel incredible. I just think that I prefer you.”
It was ridiculously sappy but it was hard to care when his brain was clouded with hormones and lust.
“Oh,” Grace choked on a sob. “I prefer you too.”
Simon felt his own eyes water and that was a little embarrassing, even though Grace was clearly okay with openly crying.
The thing inside him shifted lower, resting at the base of his cock. It was so weird, but as his body pushed the egg into his dick that didn’t seem important. He was full in a way that he’d never known he could be.
He felt the sharp pain of nails digging into his shoulders and Grace clenching around him.
Simon pushed himself up to meet Grace’s eyes. “Are you okay?”
“It’s just a lot,” He said, voice shaking. Simon pulled out an inch and without any resistance, the egg was able to move faster.
“Do you want to change your mind?” He asked, feeling it stop at Grace’s entrance.
He shook his head frantically, “Just need you to force it in.”
“It’s going to hurt.”
“Just for a second,” Grace argued, his wet eyes shining. “If it’s too much, you can do the rest by yourself but I want one. Please, let me have at least one.”
“Oh fuck,” Simon choked out as his hips snapped forward, forcing the egg past the rim and burying himself deep into Grace’s body.
Grace whined so loud that he worried he’d fucked up and hurt him but Grace was holding him too tight to pull away.
“Grace?”
Everything in Simon wanted him to move. He needed to push the egg out of himself and then shove it back as far as it would go. He needed his clutch to be as deep inside Grace as it was possible to be.
“Ryland?” He tried instead, the first name catching Grace’s attention.
“S-sorry,” He panted, loosening his grip. “It just felt so incredible, I couldn’t help it.”
That was when the huge mess of come smeared all over their stomachs finally registered.
“Fuck. I didn’t even touch you.”
Grace shuddered, “I just. It feels so good, still feels good.” He arched his back, pushing Simon deeper. “Give me more, Si. I can handle it.”
The first egg popped out with a spark of pleasure, feeling like a weak orgasm. Somehow, Grace was already hard again but he wasn’t going to question a good thing. The second and third egg came out, much like the first. Grace came again with a whine after the third. Simon fucked him through it, the fourth egg getting shoved through during the aftershocks of Grace’s pleasure. Every egg that popped out of the tip got a little more intense.
The fifth left Simon with a toe curling orgasm. It was too much, too quick. He wanted and dreaded the last egg in equal measure. Grace was panting and sobbing under him but every time he asked if he needed to stop, Grace would grab him and beg for the entire clutch.
“Last one,” He promised, kissing Grace’s cheeks as he waited for it to drop low enough that he could shove it inside.
“Yes, Si, please,” Grace whined, his voice broken. Simon had very little sense of time but he was certain that it hadn’t been long enough for both of them to feel this exhausted.
For the final time, Simon let his body take over and push the egg past the tight rim of his ass in a single, sharp thrust.
In an almost manic desire to just have it all done with, he pulled out and let Grace’s rim rip the egg from his cock.
He cried out as he came for the final time, hips bucking with the rough aftershocks. Grace looked completely spent and even though Simon wanted to just let himself pass out in the nest, his instincts drove him to care for his mate.
He kissed up and down Grace’s neck, resisting the urge to bite the unmarred side. He rubbed gentle circles into his abdominal muscles. His eggs were just below the skin, warm and safe… and empty.
“I think you were supposed to come inside me first. To, ah, inseminate.” He mumbled as he laid down, half on and half off of Grace.
“As much as I’d love to come inside you, I don’t think I’m going to be able to have sex for a month. At least.”
“Same,” He agreed, nuzzling Grace’s forearm. “I think I’m going to sleep for a few years. Do you mind waking me when we get to Erid?”
“Rocky is uncle now, question?”
Of course that was the first thing he wanted to know when he woke up.
“No, sorry.” Simon sighed, looking down wistfully at the man who was sleeping beside him.
“Simon Grace young. Still time.” Rocky answered. “Name first baby after Rocky.”
“As long as you name your first kids after us.”
Rocky thought about it and then rocked back and forth on his legs, “Maybe. Depends if lab ruined by leaky humans.”
“I’m gonna clean up, after I get some rest.”
“Reproduction take much energy.” Rocky agreed. “Simon Grace sleep, Rocky watch. All safe.”
“All safe.” He agreed, sliding into the bed next to Grace.
For once in his life, he felt like everything was going to be okay.