Chapter Text
I'm on a rollercoaster ridе, ride
I've been low, but I know that I wanna get high
I'vе never been so happy, smiling so wide
I never thought I'd find the love of my life
~♅♆~
They were exiled to the edges of the solar system by Queen Serenity; she knew it wasn’t Usagi’s, or rather Sailor Moon’s fault. The inner guardians never knew of them. They were alone for so long. She understood why they wanted to be friends; it was easy for them between the innocent youthful view of friendship and fated pasts.
But Michiru awakened Neptune in the violence of a premontion; she brought Uranus forth with blood dripping from her arm. Pluto existed, always, at the farthest point. And they came together for the first time to bring Saturn and the end of them all. They are not the same. The past lay between them.
They’ve been alone for so long in this life and the past, will probably be so in the future.
But she was not alone anymore. When she saw Uranus from her planet in the past, she thought she was beautiful then. She wanted her. Perhaps it was the presence of another guardian. She remembered a brief interaction when Queen Serenity exiled them to their castles, watching Uranus’s hand on her sword handle.
She’d be lying if she said she never used her mirror to look over her. She wondered if Uranus ever looked at her.
Haruka was beautiful. She drew her again and again and again.
The ocean was so deep; she was going to drown in her desire. She wanted Haruka, watching her sprint down the track. She wanted Haruka for herself, watching her in photographs in front of her sports cars. She wanted Haruka when she grabbed her to protect from the monsters. She wanted Haruka when they hunted for the talismans.
She loved Uranus’s hands. She would coat her hands in blood again and again to keep them clean. She wondered if Uranus would still hold hers when they were. If she confessed her crimes, if she told Haruka her desire.
She’d rather whatever it is they have now. She’d been sentenced to a lifetime alone before.
~♅♆~
They’re back at Michiru’s apartment now. The Mugen Academy uniforms are wrinkled on the floor. There was no reason for Haruka to stay by her side now, they’ve won. There was no more end of the world to fight side-by-side.
The plaid skirts hang in her closet beside the winter and summer uniforms. The dress from the love-contest was hanging, taunting her in its bag, fresh from the dry cleaners. Her guardian outfit was only seconds away, her transformation rod on the dresser. Haruka was cleaning up her hair, dirty from fighting with Usagi.
Her own hair was neatly twisted up into a clip.
If Haruka was going to leave, she should at least tell her the truth. Take the stand, confess her sins.
The ocean had so much space, so wide and deep, it could hold that pain, too, if Haruka rejected her.
She’d never thought she’d have Haruka at all, so it’s alright if it’s only been for the last year or so.
“Haruka?”
“Yeah?”
“I really do love your hands,” she smiled, reaching for her hand. “I’d hold them forever if you’d let me.”
Haruka’s face flushed. Haruka will never grow used to being flirted with, when she was so used to doing the flirting. She stared at Michiru.
When Haruka didn’t talk, Michiru did it for her.
“You don’t have to stay, you know. I dragged you into this, and now the world has been saved.” She smiled. The world was worth saving, as long as Haruka got to live. “But I want you to stay. I know it’s selfish.”
“I’d let you hold my hand.” Haruka said, finally. Her fingers fit neatly into Michiru’s, “As long as you want.”
“I love you,” she said, squeezing Haruka’s hand. It didn’t need to be said, when she thought about it. Love wasn’t confessed in words, it was the times they held each other knowing secrets that they could never tell the world, it was reaching for Uranus as she struggled on the ground. She said it, though. Neptune’s mirror brings clarity, and so does saying it out loud.
The pause before Uranus replied was almost too long. Her face reacted first, brightening. There were few times outside of the track where her face glowed so bright. “I love you too.”
~♅♆~
I wanna kiss you until I see stars
I wanna see inside of your heart
~♅♆~
Michiru smiled back.
“You want to go for a ride by the beach?”
Haruka understood her well. She nodded. She didn’t change out of the baggy lavender dress she was wearing. She usually cared so much about her appearance, but she didn’t care, clambering into the passenger seat.
She had never felt so alive. They’re both alive, they survived, they’re going to be alright for a little while, they’re together. The sky was flying over them, the wind was in her hair. Haruka’s hand is on the gear shift. The ocean came into view.
The beach felt like it could go on forever. She supposed it did, wrapping the country. The road did not. It narrowed from two lanes to one, then Haruka slowed as they hit gravel until she stopped. There wasn’t anyone this far out, mid-day on a weekday.
Haruka’s hair, for all she had fixed it was wind-tossed again. Michiru reached to run her fingers through it. It curled at the ends around her fingers. She tugged lightly, smiling. “You could have turned around.”
“Don’t you want to go down to the water?” she glanced away, breaking Michiru’s unrelenting gaze.
“Sure,” Michiru said. She got out of the car, followed by Haruka. She didn’t care if sand got in her shoes. She’d just buy another pair. Haruka was following a few steps behind.
She reached her hand behind her, waiting for Haruka to grab her.
“The ocean is really beautiful,” Haruka said, taking her hand.
“Is it?”
She nodded.
“I suppose I can’t beat that.”
“No, not like—Michiru—I meant—”
Michiru laughed, bringing her hand to cover her mouth, clinging to any vestiges of politeness. She squeezed Haruka’s hand, “It really is.” She stepped a bit closer to where the waves were slowly climbing the beach as the tide came in. Haruka didn’t follow. She turned around. “Come on.”
Haruka’s lips turned up slightly, stepping forward.
Michiru’s not sure she’s ever been happier. She leaned up, going to touch Haruka’s hair with her free hand again. She had to lean up, slightly. And she kissed Haruka.
Haruka’s body froze for a few seconds, and Michiru worried it’s too much, too soon. And then relaxes. The hand in hers squeezed, pulling it closer. And then she pulled away.
“Thank you. For bringing me here.”
“Anyime.”
Michiru reached to undo her dress.
“Wait, Michiru… we’re at a beach—”
“I’m just going to swim.”
“Oh.”
“What did you think I was going to—Oh.” She flushed, glancing down at her swimming suit. “You’re not that good of a kisser.”
Haruka turned even redder.
She stepped out of her dress, putting it on Haruka’s awkwardly outstretched arm. “You can join me if you like.”
Haruka shook her head.
Michiru took her shoes off, tossing them higher up on the beach. She turned back to the water. Haruka gathered her shoes, sitting on the sand, watching. The water was cold, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter anywhere. She didn’t know how much her guardian powers could be attributed to her affinity for water. The rocks and sand were rough. She walked out in the waves, and dove into it. She swam out.
And back. She always came back. She remembered Haruka asking her not to leave her alone.
She climbed out, water dripping off of her.
Haruka always had a towel in her back trunk now to protect the upholstery. She could see it clearly now—how could she have ever imagined Haruka didn’t love her?
“I want to go home.”
Where was home?
Apparently, it was Haruka’s apartment. The car ride was quiet except for the cassette of Michiru’s recent violin performance being played. She looked at Haruka.
She was so happy.