Chapter Text
Usopp carries himself with pride to the party, ready to show off his newest side project: his massive functional slingshot. He can’t show it off inside though because he can’t risk breaking anything in THE Dracule Mihawk’s house. Him and Nami are arriving ‘fashionably late’ and definitely not because they both had last minute fixes and additions for their costumes. The large wooden front door is covered in fake cobwebs and plastic spiders, a plastic hollowed out pumpkin sitting beside it, filled partially with multicoloured wrapped candy. There’s a sign beside it asking people to only take one each. By the number missing, it seems like Luffy is probably already inside.
Usopp enters and grabs a can of cider from the portable cooler in the hallway. He cracks it open with a satisfying fizzle. Taking a sip with a smile. The effervescent liquid bubbling against his tongue with an apple tang.
He puts on his mask and turns to Nami, “Do I look cool?”.
“You look like a nerd”, she giggles, “but yeah, you look cool”.
Nami smiles and twirls around, the layered skirt Usopp sewed for her spreading from the motion. The blue short underlayer sits half way down her thigh and the sparkling translucent fabric overlayer flows effortlessly as she moves, a pair of cheap fairy wings on her back. She wears a silver necklace with a polished Tiger Eye pendant. Vivi has a matching one with an orange Tourmaline to match each other’s eyes.
“WOAH!! AWESOME!!”
Usopp snaps around to see Luffy – wearing a spiderman suit and his classic denim shorts over the top – gawking with awe at his massive slingshot. He smiles behind his yellow painted mask and walks over, puffing his chest out.
Nami spots Vivi in the crowd, her shoulders and cheeks glistening with incandescent sparkles, gills painted on her neck and shaded with eyeshadow. Her flowy skirt is patterned with large circular sequins that mimic mermaid scales. Her hair is down – a rare sight – flowing down her shoulders, further enchanting Nami and pulling her closer. A blond man with a plastic prop that looks a lot like a metal pipe passes her, swaying as he staggers through the crowd. She barely recognises Sabo, too focussed on Vivi who immediately stops her conversation and practically vibrates with excitement as soon as she sees Nami. She runs over, almost tripping over her long skirt and hugs Nami tightly before pulling away.
“You look AMAZING!”, Vivi exclaims over the music.
Nami shakes her head with a smirk, “Not as good as you”. She leans closer, their foreheads touching as they giggle, complementing each other before kissing. Nami feels someone tap her shoulder and turns around to see Sanji standing sheepishly in his chef uniform. It takes a moment for her to recognise him before pulling him into a hug with surprise.
“You passed?!”
“I did much better than pass, actually.”
“I told you that you were stressing over nothing, idiot.”
***
Outside Mihawk’s estate, the quiet road is enveloped by darkness, only being ushered away by a few streetlamps. A plastic prop is discarded on a crunchy patch of dead grass. A blond man is doubled over beside it. He manages to collect himself, taking a few tentative steps towards the curb – partially illuminated by a nearby streetlamp – and hesitantly lowers himself to sit down on the curb. The cold concrete radiating through his pants into his prickling skin.
Sabo’s plan had been to have a good time or at least drink enough to be able to fall asleep. However, now he sits on the curb outside Perona’s Dad’s place, the road before him spinning and shifting. His ears are ringing from the loud music inside. He definitely drank too much and now the dizziness and nausea is washing over his body. He closes his eyes, taking a deep shaky breath. Nope. That’s worse. Way worse. His eyes snap back open and he holds his breath for a few moments, leaning forwards over his knees. His heartbeat thumps loudly in his ears. Louder. Louder. He finally exhales and groans. He’s torn between wanting to throw up and get rid of this feeling or just trying to wait it out because throwing up is the fucking worst. His anxiety surrounding the action actually making the nausea worse.
There are faint footsteps behind him. He doesn’t turn around, hoping someone will smash something over his head and put him out of his misery. They nudge his shoulder with a glass of water and the smell of weed follows them as they sit beside him. It’s Law. His shoulders aren’t as tense as usual and his eyes are rimmed red. There’s smudged mascara under his eyes that Perona forced him to wear since he didn’t exactly dress up for the party. He wordlessly offers the glass to Sabo again.
Sabo quickly rubs his eye against his sleeve, wiping away the collecting tears. He sniffles and accepts the glass taking a few tentative sips before placing it on the grass behind him. He tries to compose himself by sitting upright but his posture sinks again, his muscles feeling heavy.
“I’m heading back to the dorms soon”, Law states, his voice sounding distant and airy.
Sabo nods. He swallows thickly before speaking, “Planning on doing that too. Just… waiting for uh… just waiting a bit.”
“Been there”, Law scoffs, leaning back on his palms and looking up at the sky.
Sabo feels like he’s fighting to keep his eyes open. He wants to be in bed so badly but he can’t. The churning in his stomach is getting worse and the ground feels like it’s shifting beneath him. His head hangs forwards, his hands in his hair as he takes shuddering breaths, staring at the concrete between his feet.
“I don’t want to throw up”, he whispers, his voice shaky. He takes a shuddering breath, “I really don’t want to throw up”, his voice cracking more this time.
Law sits up, his eyes tracing over the patterns left embedded in his palms from the grass. He hums softly in thought. “You’ll probably feel better afterwards”, is all that he can offer, his own thoughts hazy from the mix of alcohol and weed. He glances over at Sabo, registering his shaking shoulders. He hesitantly reaches out a hand but stops before making contact with Sabo’s costume then retracts his hand. Law clasps his hands, squeezing his fingers together tightly to ground himself just enough to find some words, “It’s just a bodily function, alright? And the body does what it needs to do.”
“Not helping”, Sabo’s words slur into each other and his head droops further down.
“Hey. Keep your head up.”
Sabo’s heart is still thudding in his ears. Despite the mild winter weather, there’s an overbearing heat washing over him, making his thoughts fuzzier. His breathing starts hitching as he squeezes his eyes closed again. He is quickly reminded that it only makes him feel worse, his blurry vision returning as his eye snaps open.
“Uh oh”, Sabo murmurs, saliva pooling in the back of his throat.
***
Perona takes another drag of her cigarette, leaning on the balcony railing. Her bright pink vape is set on the small metal table, Koala eyeing it.
“Go ahead”, she smiles, winking at Koala.
Koala, overjoyed by this offer, gratefully takes a hit of Perona’s vape, and moves to stand beside her. She looks out at the view of the road, spotting two people sitting on the curb. Wait. Is that Sabo and Ace’s roommate? She groans and rolls her eyes, not wanting to drag Sabo back home. She’s having fun tonight and actually wants to stay. Plus, she’s been flirting with Perona. Terribly. But still trying.
Maybe ‘trying’ was a stretch too.
“Hey, don’t worry about it. They’ll figure it out”, Perona snickers, finding the sight quite amusing. She shifts closer, her shoulder bumping into Koala’s. Her arm slowly slinks around Koala’s waist, watching her cheeks tint a darker pink. “There are better things to look at than those losers, don’t you think?”
Koala glances back down at her best friend, watching as Ace’s roommate almost comically tries and fails to help. Her gaze moves back to Perona, avoiding her rosy irises. Her heart fluttering in her chest. There’s a buzz from her phone in her pocket and she takes it out. Before she can read the message, Perona gasps and points at her Teto home screen.
“You like Vocaloid?!”
“YES!”, Koala exclaims, both of their eyes lighting up.
Perona’s cigarette is long forgotten and falls out of her fingers as she grabs Koala’s hand, “I have to show you my room!”
The music encompasses them, bass thrumming out of Zoro’s new speaker system that Franky modified. Koala’s eyes remain on Perona. The absolute joy on her face. The way her eyes light up as she speaks but her words are lost amongst the music. Her pink fringe bobs up and down, touching her long lashes as she practically skips along, pulling Koala with her. They pass the kitchen where Luffy slinks over the counter almost like a cat and Sanji marvels at Mihawk’s expensive culinary equipment. Zoro leans against the wall with a beer in his hand, in his kendo uniform and cat ears.
The music fades as Perona pulls Koala down the hallway, framed paintings and various childhood photos of Perona lining the walls chronologically joined by ones of tween Zoro. A variety of certificates and kendo awards are hung up with old photos of a young Mihawk scattered between them. The photos, awards and artworks continue to line the walls as Perona leads her upstairs. Perona’s door displays her name in pink and black striped letters that everyone used to have when they were kids but no one could remember where they came from. There’s a plush pink rug on the carpet beside her double bed – her covers fitting the overall pink and black colour scheme of the room. A multitude of plushies line the wall her bed is pushed up against. There is no space on the walls. Each and every inch covered by posters, merch, photos and art projects. There’s a shelf along the wall opposite her bed lined with Vocaloid figurines. Koala gasps, her eyes glimmering at the sight. She almost squeals but manages to catch and stop herself before embarrassing herself further.
***
Zoro offers a cold beer to Sanji and Luffy. Apparently wearing his kendo uniform wasn’t enough for Perona because she forced him to wear a pair of her cat ears. He pops the cap off Sanji’s but Luffy adamantly protests, wanting to open it himself. He bites on the cap, trying to twist it open with his teeth until Zoro snatches it off him with a grumble. He wipes the saliva off with his shirt and a grimace, then opens it with ease before handing it back. Luffy’s eyes light up and he takes the beer bottle, taking a swig only to stick his tongue out. The other two can’t help but laugh at his antics.
“How do you guys like this stuff?”
Zoro takes it from him, putting his empty one in the recycling before drinking Luffy’s and offering him something sweeter. The taste is better but Luffy can still sense the strong undertones of the alcohol. It isn’t great but it’s better.
Ace walks past, tipping his orange cowboy hat at Sanji. He ruffles Luffy’s hair – his spiderman mask already lost somewhere – “Pace yourself, alright?”.
Sanji’s eyes linger on Ace as he walks away, Luffy running after him, asking if he knew where Sabo went.
“Wow. Subtle.”
“Huh?”, Sanji snaps his head over to Zoro. He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, stammering as he tries to find an excuse but ends up just laughing. “Is it really that obvious?”, he asks his shoulders sinking with an exhale.
Zoro takes a long sip of his beer and nods, “Yup. Even I’m picking up on it”.
“What? Jealous?” Sanji teases, an undertone of defensiveness staining his words.
Zoro shrugs.
Sanji goes silent, his mouth opening to say something but no words come out. He closes his mouth and leans back against the counter. Zoro’s gaze lingers on his beer, fiddling with the cap between his fingers. The music fills the absence of conversation but neither of them move. Sanji finishes his beer and immediately picks up another, needing something in his hands, needing something to do. His mind races and he can feel his cheeks warming, praying that he isn’t visually blushing.
“It wouldn’t work”, Zoro’s words are barely audible over the music.
Sanji moves his head, the motion flicking his fringe out of his left eye before it falls back into place. He processes the words with another mouthful of beer but it only leaves him with more questions. He’s not sure if he can ask them because he’s scared of where they’ll lead. He glances around the party, his eyes landing on Nami and Vivi, giggling together. The way Nami’s hand effortlessly rests on Vivi’s arm. How Vivi leans into Nami without thought. Ace walks past them, quickly followed by Luffy. Usopp stands in the hallway with Franky showing him his functional slingshot. He knows Franky will probably be leaving soon, Robin already waiting by the door. He should probably say goodbye but he can’t leave this conversation. Maybe it’s just the alcohol but something inside of him is telling him that this is important.
“Hypothetically… Why wouldn’t it work?”
“It just wouldn’t.”
Of course Zoro would say something like that. It takes all of Sanji’s might not to impulsively smash the beer bottle over his head.
“We want different things and the things I want I don’t think I’m ready for.”
“Oh.”
The anger dissipates immediately and is replaced by confusion. Was Zoro really drunk enough to admit that? Why now? This was digging up feelings that Sanji had already buried a long time ago. He scratches the patch of short hairs on his chin and pretends to be in thought. He wishes he could think about something – anything – right now but his mind is completely blank.
“You want sex. I don’t. It won’t work.”
Zoro’s eyes remain on the bottle cap as he twiddles it between his fingers. The ridges on the cap imprinting into his fingers but not hard enough to leave a mark. He glances up for less than a second, wondering if Sanji is still there due to the lack of response. Sanji is staring intently at his drink, swirling it around. His cheeks are stained a deep red.
“It’s not that I don’t want the lovey-dovey stuff…” Zoro continues, “I’m just not sure I’m ready for that and I can’t ask you to wait.”
Zoro shakes his head, glances down at his empty beer bottle and puts it down on the counter, “Sorry.”
He takes a deep breath and looks away at the party, crossing his arms. His fingers tap erratically on his biceps, coming to terms with all the things he shouldn’t have just said. Sanji moves out of his peripheral vision and his chest tightens. Then he feels someone shift next to him.
“We should talk about this”, Sanji’s voice comes from beside him, “And this doesn’t change anything, alright, Mosshead?”
Zoro can't help but smile as he nods, looking back over at Sanji, “Deal. We’ll talk about this another time, Shitty Cook.” He pauses, then nudges Sanji with his elbow, “And congrats, by the way, on passing your finals.”
***
Sabo squeezes his eyes shut, tears rolling down his face as cheap wine mixed with chunks of partially digested McNuggets splatter onto the road. He manages to take a few sharp breaths before his shoulders hitch forwards again, the muscles in his back and neck tensing. More vomit pools between his feet and speckles his shoes. He lets out a pathetic whimper, sniffling and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He doesn’t dare move from his position, waiting to see if there was more. Feeling Law’s eyes on him, standing a few steps away – it just makes him feel more awful.
“You should wait at least twenty minutes before eating or drinking anything.”
Sabo doesn’t reply. His breaths still hitching as the tides of nausea refuse to settle and anxiety clutches at his chest.
The sour taste lingering in his mouth is almost enough to make him gag again so he takes the cup from the grass and swirls some water in his mouth then spits it out onto the road. He grimaces, his stomach gurgling under his palm. Tentatively he stands up, the world no longer spinning as violently as before. The overbearing heat residing over his body has dissipated but his heart is still thudding in his chest. His limbs feel all weak and shaky, and he’s still not confident that he’s done. The thought makes his skin prickle with anxiety in the chilly breeze.
Law takes a few steps towards him, rubbing his eyes as he yawns, “Let’s head back”.
Sabo nods, relieved to see that Law is relatively unfazed.
The sound of boots crunching against dewy grass grows closer and Sabo turns around. His eyes land on Ace jogging towards them.
“Shit”, Sabo mutters, glancing away and quickly trying to compose himself.
Ace slows down and his gaze moves between Sabo, Law and the mess on the road. He raises an eyebrow and asks if everything is alright. Law shrugs and Sabo gives a shaky thumbs up, mustering up a smile. His eyes are still watering and tinged red, his body still shaking and achy from the aftershocks of throwing up. Ace clearly sees through it and sighs, putting a hand on Sabo’s shoulder. He doesn’t want Sabo going home alone. Not in this state. Not after their conversation last week.
“You ok?”
“Yup! Y-yeah just drank too much too fast”, Sabo assures him, still leaning forwards slightly with a hand on his stomach. Sabo’s forced smile falters and he leans against Ace, letting his body recover for a few moments. He feels Ace’s hand move across his back to wrap around him to support his weight. “I’ll be ok”, Sabo’s voice comes out more genuine this time, “Just needed a moment”.
Ace doesn’t look convinced and looks over at Law.
“I’ll walk him home.”
“Sure?”
“Yeah. I was planning on leaving early anyways”, Law nods slowly, scratching the back of his neck being much more honest than his sober counterpart, “I’m too crossfaded for this type of party anyways”.
Ace looks down at Sabo then back at the party, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Sabo really didn’t look great. Ideally, he would just get back to his dorm and go to sleep instead of doing anything stupid. That’s what Ace is hoping for.
Sabo slowly stands on his own without leaning on Ace, taking a few moments to find his footing. Even in his current state he can tell by the way Ace is looking at him that he’s worried. He always does that silly thing with his eyes where no matter how hard he tries to hide his concern it shines through. Sabo chuckles, the sound quiet but genuine, “I’ll be ok. Seriously.”
Ace stops his nervous chewing and the tension in his shoulders leave. He smiles back at Sabo and turns to Law, thanking him. Then tells Law that he’ll be back at the dorms later but he’ll try to be quiet in case Law is asleep.
Ace walks back towards the party, muffled music spilling past the confines of Mihawk’s estate. He takes a hose by the driveway and quickly washes most of the mess off the road while Sabo and Law walk down the path illuminated by streetlamps. He finds a glass on the grass and picks it up as he puts the hose back where he found it.
The music envelopes him as he enters dissolving some – but not all – of his concerns about Sabo. He takes his phone out, stopping in the photo lined hallway. Still no messages from Yamato since this afternoon. He knows Yamato often forgets to answer messages when he’s absorbed in a task but it still makes him a little anxious. Glancing over the photos of Perona and Zoro with Mihawk almost comically looming in the background, he opens his messages and texts both Sabo and Law, telling them to let him know when they get back. He scrolls through his messages with Yamato one last time before putting his phone back in his pocket. He takes a deep breath, adjusts his orange cowboy hat and then walks back into the main room.
Ace walks to the kitchen, finding Sanji in there as Zoro walks off. He smiles at Sanji as he puts the glass in the sink and leans against it.
“I heard you smashed your exams, huh?”
Sanji stares into the space that Zoro had been in moments earlier, his eyes boring into the wall. He quickly snaps his gaze to Ace and asks him to repeat the question.
“Someone told me you did really well on your exams. Just thought I’d say congrats”, Ace rephrases. He turns on the tap and starts washing the few dishes that were in there, leaving them on the drying rack afterwards. Sanji lingers in the kitchen, staring at his empty beer.
“You ok?”, Ace chuckles, “Gonna keep staring at that beer or do you want another?”
“Oh uhm… Yeah I’m fine. I’m- yeah the party’s great”, Sanji stumbles over his words and gives Ace an awkward chuckle, “No I think… I think maybe I’ll have some water first”. His tone is clear and his words stay separate. He’s not drunk. So what’s got him like… this?
Ace takes a glass from the cupboard above the sink and to the left, fills it with water and hands it to Sanji.
Ace stands next to Sanji, leaning back against the counter. Their arms brush against each other and he smirks, “You know, we should hang out again.”
Sanji downs the glass of water and places it on the counter, “Yeah. Maybe.”
Ace’s smirk fades, “Not a good time for this discussion?”
“You have no idea.”
Ace nods and nudges Sanji lightly, “No pressure”. He stands there silently for a few moments but then he starts thinking about whether Sabo and Law were ok and then about Yamato. He shifts a little, an uncomfortable tingling feeling forming in his stomach. His eyes scan the group of people and he spots Vivi and Nami sitting on the couch, away from the speakers. Vivi waves at him and then turns to Nami, whispering something in her ear. Nami chuckles and waves him over.
“If you need anything, just text me, alright?”, Ace pushes himself off the counter, “Even if it’s just random stuff, yeah? We’re still friends, you know?”. He walks through the crowd, moving past Luffy – who still had not finished his first drink – and Zoro to get to the quieter area where Nami and Vivi were waiting. Sitting down on a beanbag across from Nami and Vivi, Ace makes himself comfortable. There’s a large bucket with ice and a variety of bottled and canned drinks in it beside them so he takes one and cracks it open. Vivi’s still eyeing him and Nami is giving him a look.
“Is this going to be some sort of interrogation?”, Ace jokes, taking a sip of some sugary drink he picked up. He checks the alcohol content and is surprised to see how high it is considering the lack of an alcoholic taste. It should be fine. He’s got a pretty high tolerance.
Nami’s smirk grows and she leans forwards, “Maybe. Depends on whether you’ll cooperate”, she jokes back.
Vivi giggles, covering her mouth. She leans forwards too, “I thought Yamato was coming. Is he going to make a surprise appearance at the end of the night?”
“I doubt it. He’s been pretty busy”, Ace shakes his head and pulls out his phone, “He’s still doing work for Kaido’s company which he says is ass but ‘at least he’s building some muscle’”. Still no messages. Maybe Yamato is driving but he doubts it. It also means Sabo and Law weren’t home. That made sense. It’s not like they were speed walking. He puts his phone away and shifts on the beanbag, feeling the contents within it move to adjust to his weight. Maybe Sabo and Law caught the bus. Does it still run at this time? Or maybe they got a cab… no that’d be too expensive. Or maybe…
“Ace, you there?”, Nami waves her hand in front of his face and Vivi gently stops her, moving her hand away.
“Yeah, sorry. What did you say?”
“I asked where Sabo was. I saw him earlier but didn’t get to say hi.”
“He left early with Law.”
It was true but not completely. Ace is pretty sure Nami will get whatever answer she needs. She always does. That’s why it’s so great to talk to her. He could probably even tell her that her costume looks great but she’d ignore it and keep digging.
Nami takes another sip of the shitty discount wine she poured into a fancy glass she pinched from the kitchen, “It makes sense for Law to bail early since his friends aren’t here but why did Sabo?”
Ace shrugs and fidgets with the red beads on his necklace, “I think he had a bit too much to drink.”
Vivi frowns and rests her head against Nami’s shoulder, her long blue hair following her movements. “Aw. Is he ok?”, she asks as Nami puts an arm around her.
“He’ll be fine.”
That’s what Ace hopes at least. He’s not sure if he entirely believes it but he also can’t play babysitter for Sabo. If he keeps prying too much then Sabo will probably stop telling him stuff.
“You’re being weird”, Nami smirks, “What’s going on with you?”
She’s right. Ace is being weird. He’s stressed and anxious and for some reason he can’t just shake it off like he usually can. After his talk last week with Sabo, he can’t not be worried. However, it isn’t his information to share. It was told to him in confidence and he’s not going to go behind Sabo’s back. Ace finishes the sickly sweet drink in his hand and grabs another, hoping that he pulls something different from the ice box. “I’m stressed about something I can't talk about.”
“Well… are you stressed about anything you can talk about?”
***
Luffy looks over at Zoro, watching him fiddle with a bottle cap. The music has changed to some song he doesn’t know and it was getting really warm inside. He can feel the tag of his spiderman suit too. It’s itchy. He walks over to the TV displaying the current song and picks up a pair of scissors from the cup of random stationary beside it. Probably there from when Perona set up the decorations. He takes the scissors in one hand and reaches around to the back of his costume trying to grab the tag with the other. Zoro, who followed him there, takes the scissors from him and finds the tag at the back of his costume then cuts it off. They’re right in front of the speakers now. It’s too loud. Luffy hums to himself, something different than the song playing. He needs to move. He’s still too warm and itchy and he finished his drink so there’s nothing to do with his hands except pull at the loose strings on his shorts.
“Balcony?”, Luffy suggests over the music and Zoro nods.
Luffy grimaces as they pass the speakers again and grabs himself another sweet drink. The fresh air on the balcony is nice. It’s a bit cold but it’s definitely better than the overwhelming heat inside. He opens his drink – not using his teeth this time – and paces the balcony, taking sips of his drink while Zoro sits at the small round table. He can still hear the music but it’s muffled by the sliding door.
Zoro spots a cigarette butt on the floor and picks it up, putting it in the ash tray. He knows it’ll save both him and Perona a talking to from Mihawk. Zoro’s eyes track Luffy as he paces, enjoying the lack of noise and people. The conversation he had with Sanji is still playing in his head. Maybe he shouldn’t have been that blunt but it wasn’t like he could go back in time and change the past or anything. Maybe it was fine. It was fine. It is fine. Definitely. Right? He doesn’t look back through the glass door, his eyes stay on Luffy. Then he caves and glances through the glass sliding door. It seems like Sanji is alright. Him and Usopp are in the kitchen together.
“Luffy”, Zoro starts, “Have you ever had sex?”
“Huh?”, Luffy stops pacing and thinks for a moment. He shrugs, “Don’t think so. Not that I can remember.”
It was an odd answer from anyone but Luffy. The guy never really lied and if he did it was always obvious. Zoro lifts the can of beer to his lips, staring at the full moon. It reminds him of the late night chats he used to have with Perona when he was adopted by Mihawk. Like most of Zoro’s bonding experiences, it was a rough start but now here he is, wearing his sister’s cat ears because he wasn’t dressed up enough for their Halloween party.
“Do you want to?”
“Not really… No.”
“With anyone?”
“Nope.”
Luffy taps his fingers on the railing to the beat of the song playing inside, humming along out of tune. He bops up and down a few times, adjusting his spiderman suit. He wasn’t as itchy as before but it was still a little annoying. He can feel the seams against his skin and scratches over the spandex but it’s not enough.
“Do you want a shirt?”
“Yeah.”
Zoro waves Luffy over to follow him as they go back inside, the warmth of the room sinking through their skin. Luffy covers his ears at the loud intrusion of music but there’s still a toothy grin across his face as he follows Zoro. They pass Sanji and Usopp in the kitchen. Sanji still listening to Usopp’s exposition about his functional slingshot, pointing out the small details. Sanji’s eyes follow Zoro as he walks past.
Usopp takes off his paper mâché yellow mask and places it down on the table. Sanji grabs two drinks, opens them and offers one to Usopp. Gratefully, Usopp accepts the drink, his warm brown eyes lighting up at the sight of the cold beer in his hand. His eyes trail from the beer to Sanji, paying attention to Sanji’s gaze.
“What’s all that about?”, Usopp asks, raising an eyebrow.
“What?”
“You guys were talking for a while and now you’re just silently staring at him like how you stare at… Ohhhhhh.”
“Usopp. Don’t.”
Usopp snickers and covers his mouth. He keeps his eyes on his beer, knowing that if he looks up at Sanji he’s going to break out into a fit of laughter. Taking a few moments to collect himself, Usopp exhales deeply and looks up at Sanji, his expression softening.
“Is everything ok?”
“Yes.
Maybe?
Fuck. I don’t know.”
Sanji glances around, making sure everyone is involved in their own conversations and that Zoro isn’t nearby before explaining everything. He knows Usopp knows about him and Ace because apparently Zoro noticed which means everyone knows. He puts down his open drink on the counter and fidgets with the buttons on the cuffs of his chef uniform, still a little big for him. The heat is getting to him. He unbuttons the cuffs and he rolls up his sleeves. Usopp listens, his eyes never leaving Sanji. Then finally, “I think I liked him for a long time I just… ignored it because… I don’t know but I also really like Ace. It’s… confusing.”
“Well… you could just keep it casual with both of them”, Usopp suggests, “but – and I might be wrong – but it seems like you might be more of a lover at heart, right?”
Sanji scratches his head, his mouth contorting into a thin line.
“You have a lot of love in your heart, Sanji”, Usopp pauses and smiles seeing Sanji’s embarrassed expression. “That’s not a bad thing… but also it sounded better in my head.”
***
Ace groans and puts his head in his hands, a few empty cans and beer bottles sitting beside the beanbag. The music shifts to a softer volume, letting everyone talk without yelling. Nami chuckles, putting one of her legs over Vivi’s.
“It’s different, okay?”, Ace’s slurred words are muffled by his hands, “Yamato isn’t just… you know… he’s also my best friend.”
“Those don’t have to be mutually exclusive”, Vivi smiles, looking up lovingly at Nami. She slips her hand into Nami’s squeezing it gently as Nami takes another sip of her cheap wine.
“But what if he doesn’t like me like that?”, Ace mumbles, rubbing a hand over his face. He looks down at his drink, swirling it as he pouts.
“It’s pretty obvious that he does. You guys are closer than any other ‘best friends’ that I know”, Nami shrugs, her thumb brushing over Vivi’s knuckles.
“And worst case is that he doesn’t feel the same, right? Would you trust him to be able to move past that?”, Vivi asks.
“Probably… Yeah… I mean he’s really cool with just about anything” Ace answers, his thoughts wandering to all the weird conversations he’s had with Yamato. As his thoughts stray, a smile stretches across his freckled face and his pupils dilate slightly. He wishes Yamato was here. He can almost feel it in his bones like something is missing. He just wants to hold him close and warm up his cold hands while cuddling while talking about stupid shit. He wants Yamato to show him all those videos that have 2 views on them and have them both cackling for no reason.
Nami can’t help but roll her eyes at how obviously in love Ace is. It’s almost cute but she’ll never admit that. Instead, she teases him, “Damn Ace. How much have you had to drink?”
Ace’s soft smile switches to a lopsided smirk, a mischievous glint in his eyes as they settle on Nami, “Clearly not enough.” He grabs another drink, opening it with ease and taking a sip.
“So then what’s going on between you and Sanji?”, Nami smirks.
“Sanji?”, Ace’s cheeks – red from the alcohol – flush deeper. He shakes his head with a giddy chuckle and sinks back into the beanbag, “He’s so pretty.”
Nami laughs at the dreamy tone woven into Ace’s drunken words. Even Vivi can’t manage to hide a small giggle behind her hand. Neither of them had seen Ace like this before.
“He’s gentle and… his eyes are real nice… and… he makes really really good food”, the words tumble out of Ace’s mouth, thinking out loud, “He’s pretty good with his hands too.”
Vivi’s eyes widen and Nami cringes.
Ace continues as if he didn’t register ever saying those words, “It’s like he actually likes me instead of just the things we do together.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, a sinking feeling pulls at his gut. The realisation should be positive. It’s objectively a good thing. So why is there a weight of guilt festering in his stomach? He tries to shake it off but it’s sticky, clawing its talons into his organs and infecting his bloodstream. Slowly spreading through the rest of his body. It’s the same feeling he gets when he thinks too hard about Yamato or when he visits Whitebeard in the hospital or when Sabo tried to tell him that he was ok to go home with Law. Ace clears his throat, his expression changing to a more serious one. His brows furrow and he hesitates for a moment. The words are on the tip of his tongue but he can’t just ask something like that. Even in his drunken state, that wall can’t be broken down easily. So, he knocks back the rest of his drink, finishing it in one go.
“Do you think… I deserve it?”, he asks tentatively, the vague slurred words making perfect sense to him but clearly not the two women opposite him.
“Deserve what?”, Nami asks, growing more intrigued.
“A relationship… or… I don’t know… more like uh… love in general?”
No words follow for what seems like ages and Ace keeps his gaze down. He notices the patterns on the carpet between his boots, trying to follow them and not his thoughts. His vision starts to blur, the patterns swimming into each other as his eyes start to water.
“Sometimes… I think about the future, you know?”, Ace’s voice comes out quieter and is followed by a shaky chuckle, “Like graduating and having a proper job and-”, he cuts himself off as his voice starts to break and grits his teeth. He redirects to a more joking tone, avoiding the initial topic, “and then it stresses me out so I stop thinking about it.” However, he doesn’t get any laughter or giggling or even a forced chuckle from Nami or Vivi. His lips start to tremble and he takes a deep – albeit shaky – breath forcing himself to actually talk about it this time. Why not? He can always blame his words on ‘just being too drunk and talking nonsense’ if it’s brought up again when he’s sober. “People keep telling me to have an end goal that I need to work towards but it just feels like I’m just… going from one thing to another to another and another… or…”, his mind drifts to the chat he had with Sabo last week, “or putting a band aid over things and hoping it’s enough.”
Nami listens intently, running Ace’s vague drunken words through her mind and trying to decode them but she can’t pinpoint what he’s talking about. Is this still about that silly love triangle? Probably not. Is it about his degree? Vivi listens carefully too, her eyes on Ace and full of concern. Her fingers grasping Nami’s hand a fraction tighter.
Ace’s words come out more clearly in a brief moment of lucidity, “There are so many things I can’t fix. So many people that I care about that I’m letting down.” Then it dissolves, his mind moving slower and his thoughts blending and mixing with the patterns on the carpet, “Maybe it’s a sign, y’know? That I shouldn’t- that I don’t deserve…”, he trails off clenching his jaw as his lips curve into a frown. “Either way, someone gets hurt… better me than-”
“Sorry to interrupt your emotional revelations, Ace, but you’re saying some absolute bullshit”, Nami interjects, her tone almost stern. Vivi raises her head from Nami’s shoulder and gives her a look, silently suggesting for her to reel it in but Nami shakes her head. “You’re talking about yourself like you’re some horrible person which is honestly fucking baffling”, she continues, exasperation leaking into her words. “You are always stupidly helping everyone out and clearly to your own detriment.”
Ace nods but he isn’t really listening. The music starts to fade and so do Nami’s words, only her tone registering through his swimming thoughts. His eyes remain fixed on the carpet. There’s a sudden urgency telling him to go home but he can’t get himself to move. It’s rude to leave if Nami is still talking to him. He should probably be listening to her. He’s doing it again. Not listening. Letting someone down. Not paying enough attention.
His phone pings in his pocket and he fishes it out, receiving a text from Law saying that him and Sabo arrived back at the dorms. There’s another text but the words start blending into each other so Ace can’t quite make them out and replies with a thumbs up emoji.
“Are you even listening?”, Nami’s voice cuts through the fog.
Ace looks up at her, “Sorry- No I just- Just checking that Sabo got home alright”.
He reaches over to the bucket of drinks but Vivi speaks up, “How about some water?”
Ace nods, retracting his hand. He pushes himself to his feet and pauses, the room spinning. Odd. He lowers himself back down onto the beanbag, his posture shrinking a little and Vivi gets up to get him a cup of water. Ace waits there as Nami’s gaze scans him, his fingers moving across the beads on his necklace, rolling them between his thumb and pointer fingers, pushing them into his skin.
Vivi returns with a glass of water and hands it to Ace. She sits back down on the couch, resuming her position next to Nami and checks the time. It’s getting pretty late and she doesn’t want to be too tired when she drives Nami back to the dorms. However, she’s hesitant to leave Ace in this state. His emotional state seems to stabilise as he slowly makes it through the cup of water but Vivi isn’t fully convinced. She watches him stand up slowly and tip his cowboy hat at them before excusing himself to the bathroom.
“Generational lock in”, Nami snickers, leaning against Vivi. She plants gentle little kisses over Vivi’s face, cupping her cheeks in her hands then rests her forehead against Vivi’s. Vivi’s brows furrow and Nami sighs, “He’ll be fine”. A genuine smile spreads across the ginger’s face, “Let’s get back to the dorms. I’m so ready to watch the next episode of CSI and cuddle.”
Vivi giggles and nods. It had become a tradition to debrief and watch CSI with some hot chocolate in bed after a night out. The warmth of her bed is calling her. She can’t wait to have a hot shower and get into her fluffy pyjamas. Her lips press gently against Nami’s in a kiss then she pulls away, “Let’s go say goodbye to everyone.”