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It’s been weeks since Mizi turned into a zombie.
Sua knows. They posted it everywhere. The fact that the Wife of the Nation was bitten by a zombie in an alley way. How harrowing. Nobody is safe, everybody should lock their doors and keep to themselves, they said.
It only took a few days for her fans to find the location that they’re hiding Mizi at. Sua knows this too. She watches the screen, eyes not blinking for even a second, hands grabbing at her mouse like a lifeline and pressing the reload button again, and again, not even sparing a second.
The minute she sees a link to the location, Sua presses it and sends it to her phone and gets to work. She opens up her phone and logs the location in the GPS screen. She finds something that she can wear, a beaten up sweater that still smells like Mizi, and puts on a face mask. With her GPS on, she opens her door, but stops.
She looks at her wall, seeing pictures of Mizi all over. But they’re not the ones the media has seen: they’re private ones. Ones in which Mizi is smiling, ones in which she’s happy, not like the bastardized versions of Mizi they post all over the billboards. She goes over to it, kneeling on top of her cushion, and holds it tenderly. She puts her head down and closes her eyes.
“Mizi, I’m coming. Don’t worry.”
She kisses the wall of pictures before finally running outside her apartment.
The minute she gets to the facility, Sua is already aware that she’s doing something wrong. She’s standing outside of a government security run building, where all hopes of surviving can lead to her either being infected or being shot down with a gun.
But Sua holds her phone tight nonetheless, grits her teeth nonetheless, and walks nonetheless.
She’s going to do this for Mizi.
For a government security run building, the security in this place sucked. Sua saw the guard was sleeping in the booth and just walked past him. Even their gates aren’t even gates at all; just a piece of flimsy paper that had the words ONE BITE = INFECTION all over it like police tape. She would feel bad for her government, but she doesn’t think of that.
She thinks it’s fate. God wants Sua to meet Mizi again.
Because they were meant to be.
The minute Sua gets inside, she can already smell the pungent smell of rotting blood. She’s aware that it’s going to smell like this, that’s why she bought the mask, but the smell still gets through the barrier and assaults her nose.
She hears ragged breathing and feet moving against the concrete floor and walks.
She explores the inside of the building without a care in the world. Nobody is inside. In fact, she can’t really see anything save for the occasional ragged breathing and padded feet dragging against the concrete floor which indicate a zombie. She looks up and sees a huge pole reaching the top of the building, and countless chains circling the pole. It’s where they keep the zombies, she guesses.
Finally, Sua reaches the part where they keep Mizi.
She stands just a few feet away from her. She looks the same as ever. Her hair, still pink and luscious. Her curves, still ever-present and eye-catching. Sua’s eyes caress the parts of where her framed hands are touching, and finally it reaches her eyes.
They’re gone.
Mizi is blindfolded, with little drips of blood marking the cloth. She’s whimpering, not knowing where she is currently. Her feet are dragging and scraping against the floor in ways of trying to escape. Her mouth is moving but there’s no sound coming out, only ragged breathing.
This is the only way Sua can know that Mizi is truly infected. Because the minute Sua opens her mouth and says, “Mizi,” she doesn’t reply back.
Sua takes off her mask and feels the love in her soul raise tenfold. She feels the tears sting her eyes and the smell sting her nose even harder, yet she doesn’t care. Sua kneels in front of Mizi and holds her cheeks, Mizi not even caring, still twitching despite her touch.
Sua’s heart is pounding so hard against her chest that she can’t breathe despite the fact that nothing is blocking her nose. “Mizi…” She starts, feeling the tears fall down and mark little droplets on the floor. She’s getting closer and closer to Mizi’s face now, and the smell grows stronger as she keeps on going.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Sua whispers as she touches every bit of Mizi. She remembers back when Mizi wasn’t everyone’s. When Mizi wasn’t the Wife of the Nation, but Sua’s beloved. Her love. Her universe. She remembers when Mizi was hers. Back when the world didn’t know who Mizi was, but Sua knew.
And she knew her so well, until she didn’t.
“It’ll be okay,” Sua whispers through the cloth. Her tears are constantly dripping, and she has to constantly cough or else her voice will break. "You'll be okay, Mizi. We’ll be okay. I’m sorry.”
Sua tries rewriting the past. Tries to remove the cracks that made them distant. Tries to mend them with everything that’s been broken down in two, yet nothing works. Nothing works, and Mizi is still someone she can’t own anymore.
Gingerly, she removes a piece of hair from Mizi’s eyes, and kisses her forehead. Slowly, Sua caresses her cheeks. Slowly, Sua holds Mizi’s shoulders and inches her face closer.
Slowly, Sua puts her fingers in Mizi’s mouth and tugs. “It’ll all be okay, I promise. Mizi. Nothing bad is going to happen anymore,” she says as she coats her fingers in Mizi’s saliva, hearing Mizi gargle in her own spit as she wets Sua’s fingers. “We’ll be safe.”
Sua smiles and kisses Mizi so hard she hears their teeth clatter together. The kiss is painful, and it’s nothing like ones they’ve shared previously, ones where Mizi is reciprocating and touching, but Sua kisses her nonetheless. Because this is fate. Because they were meant to be.
Mizi is still grunting and whimpering, but Sua still continues. “I’m sorry,” she breaks. Her voice quakes and she continues kissing, her tongue coating Mizi’s insides. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, until she feels Mizi’s teeth against her lip and blood slowly coating both of their lips.
Her tears cascade down as Mizi bites, grunting as she puts an effort in savouring Sua’s whole body.
Maybe this way, they can be together forever until the end.
Sua doesn’t know where she is.
There are so many people.
So many shouts.
She waves hi.
Fans.
They’re my fans.
Her body is moving without her knowledge.
Mizi is standing right next to her, but this isn’t Mizi.
She doesn’t have a face.
Her pink pigtails (did Mizi like doing her hair in pigtails?) bounce as they dance together.
Mizi blows a kiss to the public. Sua still doesn’t remember how they got here.
The people cheer. They don’t shut up.
Sua gets dragged to a table. Her arm is put there and she tries to stop them, but they’re too strong.
Stop it.
Sua sees the glint of the knife.
Don’t do it.
I beg of you.
Please.
Please
Don’t
Do
It
A slice echoes onstage, and Sua can’t even drown the people’s screams with her own.