Chapter Text
Seunghyun wished he knew when the feelings originally started, maybe it was when they were soaked in sweat in the practice room, and Jiyong smiled at him just right - just enough to send those butterflies in his stomach fluttering. Or maybe, it was when they were sharing a cigarette outside their small dorm building before fame even caught up to them, and perhaps it was also the sight of the younger man on stage during their sold out shows, when he shined brightest and looked the most content.
Perhaps the gazes meant nothing, the fleeting touches and the late night whispers and promises, maybe it was merely a trick of Seunghyun's cruel brain to make him think that Jiyong had actually fallen for him as hard as he had. Maybe that's how he found himself smoking an already half burnt cigarette out in the streets of Seoul as a fruitless attempt to remind himself of Jiyong, he'd gaze up at the full moon, was Jiyong looking at it as well? Was he also thinking of him in the same way Seunghyun was?
He could already envision him in his living room in that expensive apartment of his, in dim light, with a song lulling in the background whilst he trailed by the window and spoke to Seunghyun about how clear the sky was tonight, the cigarette would glow faintly from inbetween his fingers and...
“Fuck.” Seunghyun hissed, flicking the burning butt of his cigarette onto the pavement and pressing what of it was left out with his foot, examining the area inbetween his fingers where he had felt the burning sensation moments prior, only to find minimal redness, great- that was wonderful, as if his night wasn't horrible enough.
He was out of cigarettes as well, that had been his last one, and he wasn't anywhere near done with his night walk, with a frustrated grunt he'd start heading to where he hoped the nearest store would be, or at least some form of market in which he could take a look for a new pack. Yet whilst trailing down the streets and keeping his eyes on the pavement, an almost ominous lighting of a small store he had never seen before caught his eye.
It was tucked away in an alleyway, no huge sign or any lavish of the sort, just a small display of books, crystals, and jewelry. And still, he felt drawn to it, so he'd step inside after a brief moment of hesitation, greeting the singular worker quietly and trying to keep his face as hidden as possible, it wasn't as if he was one of the currently most popular boy groups of Korea, no?
Either way, after taking a brief look around he seemed to find nothing that really caught his eye, he spotted some pretty amethyst crystals that he liked, but would never really bother investing in or collecting, a book about self-growth, which sounded ironic in this situation, but he was desperate and anything like that came to mind, although he held back and ultimately put it back where he found it, he'd take another final glance at the shelf tucked away near the books and..
“A one wish willow?..”
He murmured it more to himself rather than anyone else, but the worker perked up behind him merrily and it would cause Seunghyun to jump. “Yes, one wish, it grants you anything you want. Anything at all.” The woman smiled, grin spread a bit too tight, even.
And it sounded pathetic, nothing more than a child's game, it was all just a money grab as well, yet Seunghyun found himself turning the box and examining it, before ultimately deciding to purchase one simply for the sake of making himself feel better, and so, after paying a generous amount for the little box, he'd head out of the store.
It wasn't like Jiyong hated him, he didn't - but Seunghyun had made things a little awkward inbetween them lately, especially after he had blurted out something way too affectionate for a normal friend to say to another, and Jiyong had withdrawn with such an expression that made it look like he was almost going to just get up and leave, afterwards the younger reassured him that it was fine and that he probably just had too much to drink- But Seunghyun knew he was rejecting his feelings actively right there, and it hurt.
After pursuing a person for so many years, for getting so many of the signs back, for feeling as if they were destined soulmates meant to be together until their last breaths — it hurt.
And so there he was, holding a strange stick in his apartment, the opened box still on the table right next to an unopened pack of cigarettes and an empty wine glass. Besides, what was the worst that could happen? he could just get severely disappointed in himself that he even believed such a thing would be real, fuck it.
“I wish Kwon Jiyong loved me more than anyone in the fucking world.”